Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 19:30:52 EST
From: Angel36745@aol.com
Subject: celebrity/boybands/the lost3

Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB nor have I ever met them. This is just a
story that I have made up. In other words it's not real or true in any
way. These *** mean a character change. These () are a note from me there's
only one but I thought I'd let you know. I've wrote a poem in this story
I'm not a poet so it may not be that good. I hope you enjoy the third part
of this story. Please if you have time drop me a line and tell me what you
think good or bad. Thank you for reading in advance

E-mail: Angel36745@aol.com

********Tom*******

  All the while I was starting to notice someone waking up. I pinched his
butt hoping to get him to let go. It almost worked if it weren't for small
fact I was starting to fall. We both fell backwards he fell on top of me. I
looked up into his eye's and froze. I had been close to Kevin before but
this was different. He wasn't moving away from me either. I started to lean
up but stopped. I took a deep breath and started tickling his sides. He was
rolling with laughter in seconds. He jumped out of the shower and ran out
of the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it this time. I was still
trying to catch my breath when I got back in the shower. I had almost
kissed him and, I knew he had to feel Mr. Jones poking him. I was still
shaken a little until I thought a little harder. I had felt something
poking me to. Then again the way we were playing around thing's pop. That's
what I kept telling myself anyway.

*********************Kevin

  I was trying to calm down and dry off at the same time. Brian was
standing at the door smiling. "So have you told him yet, or are you waiting
till he's six feet under?" Brian's smile was gone he was being
serious. "I'm waiting until after this is all over with." I looked him
smiling I wasn't going to let him get to me. "You know it took me almost
dying before I told Nick. Don't make the same mistake. None of us know
who's next. One day he could be here the next he's gone. If you love him
tell him before it's to late." I looked up to reply but he was gone. I
hated when Brian was right but I couldn't tell him not yet. I had to wait I
didn't want to put any else on his mind. I looked at my watch and freaked
out. We had less than three hour's to get to the air port. I started
running around the apartment pull all of our stuff together. Tom walked out
of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He looked at me and started
laughing a little. I was confused so I looked at myself and didn't see
anything funny. I was dressed my pants weren't ripped I looked fine. I
looked around myself to see the guy's. None of them were doing anything but
giggling. "Ok what the hell is going on?" I looked at them one by one no
one was talking. Tom walked over to me and pulled my wrist to his face. He
nodded and looked back to the guy's.

   I didn't get it and I was starting to get mad. "Kevin have you set your
watch back yet?" Brian asked a little to sweetly. "You do know that there
is a four hour difference here. As in we have seven hour's to get to the
air port." I stopped dead in my tracks at what Tom had just said. I cleared
my throat and walked back to the bed room. The guy's were cracking up like
never before. I thought I was alone when I started laughing myself. Tom put
his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him he wasn't laughing any more. He
stepped in closer and kissed my cheek softly. "Don't worry we'll get you
some help real soon." I knew he was making a joke but that kiss. His lip's
were so soft and moist I wouldn't have minded him kissing my lip's. I
kissed his cheek "I'm not the one who needs help." I whispered into his
ear. He grinned and walked away leaving me alone. I started packing anyway
just taking my time this time. Once I was done I went out to see what was
left of the food. I saw plate sitting on the table waiting for me. The guys
didn't normally do that so it had to be Tom. I heard some of our music
blazing in the living room. I walked in to see everyone dancing around the
living room. I hadn't seen the guys in this good of a mood in a while. Then
I thought about we use to do this all the time when Tom was with us. He
always brought the best out in us he kept us grounded. When he left it's
like he took that with him. We always had fun but there was something
missing.

   Tom was apart of our group more than he thought. There had been nights
when we were so bored. Then he'd come up with some idea like playing games
or something. He always made it fun and doable. Then when there were
problems he helped solve them no matter how big. He was like all of us put
in one person, he couldn't sing worth a lick but he tried. He could dance
better than us that was easy to see. He had some weird mix of grace and
rhythm. I could watch him forever if given the chance. I walked back into
the kitchen picked up my food and started eating. The music had changed to
a slow song. I stopped eating and walked back out. Nick and Brian were
dancing as were Howie and AJ. Tom was sitting down watching them closely. I
walked over to him holding my hand out. He smiled and stepped into my
arm's. We danced for the whole song and didn't stop when it ended. His head
was on my shoulder mine was on his. I could still head music playing but it
was different. I kept my eye's closed and kept dancing. I was on heaven
until someone tapped my shoulder. "The song sorta stopped five minutes
ago." Nick told me while leaning into Brian. I stood up a little straighter
looking at Tom hoping he hadn't noticed either. He hadn't so I felt good
for the time being.

  Everyone sort of went off into their own little worlds for a short
time. We were all packed and ready to hour's before the flight. We had
never told Tom what his mother had said on the phone that night. I was
starting to wonder if we should. That way he wouldn't be surprised when we
got there. But I had this feeling he already knew what was coming. We took
two cab's to get to the air port. None of us talked while we were waiting
for the flight. We didn't talk at all on the plane to Kentucky. I was a
weird silence that seemed to fill the whole of the group. Brian had already
talked to his mother about staying there for a few days. She was more than
happy to keep us for a while. I looked over at Tom to see him looking out
the window. His knuckles were white he was clenching his fist. I saw a
small trickle of blood seep out of his hand. I pulled his hand to my face
looking closely. He opened his hand letting me see the damage that was
done. I ripped the bottom on my shirt and wrapped it around his hand. I
didn't say anything I just sat there I couldn't pull him into my
arms. There were far to many eye's to see that, I hoped he understood.

   When the plane touched down we got off as quickly as we could. We stayed
a bit apart hoping no one would realize who we were. Once outside the
Louisville air port we flagged down two cabs. We went to Tom's old home I
told him it wasn't a good idea. He didn't live far from the air port. He
asked us to stay in the cab's and wait. Brian kept me from going after
him. "He's a big boy Kev, if he needs we'll be there." I was still trying
to find a way to get out of the cab. I watched him walk up to the door and
knock. A blond hair girl answered the door. She looked like she was just a
little bit younger than Tom. They spoke for a few minutes before she opened
the door. I watched him walk in I was so scared I wouldn't see him walk
out. I just kept looking praying for the best. "How long has he been in
there Bri?" I was getting nervous waiting for him. "About five minutes calm
down Kev, he'll be all right." Brian didn't sound like he was so sure
himself. That didn't help the fact that I was worried. I saw Nick get out
of the second cab. AJ had his hand trying to pull him back in. Now I was
really worried but Brian wouldn't let my arm go. So I just waited and
promised myself if he was hurt that I would rip the house to peace's.

************Tom

   I was back in the same living room I had left so long ago. My little
sister was sitting in the arm chair. "You called and I came how's Mom is
she doing ok?" My sister sat up a little bit looking into my eyes. "She's
upset, what did you think she would be feeling." I looked at her with new
eyes. "Fine I'm gone I shouldn't have come. I'm not welcomed here good bye
Sarah." I moved to leave but stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I
turned slow to face her. She had tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry,
I didn't mean what I said. Please don't go I need you" I was looking into
her eyes. I was trying to find something I use to know. "Where were you
when I needed you? Where were you when I was crying my eyes out? Where were
you when I was having nightmares?" I couldn't help my anger it just
hurt. She backed away like I had slapped her. She looked lost and alone I
regretted what I had said. "I'll come visit the gave site tomorrow after
everyone's gone. I don't think anyone really want's the outcast showing
up. I'm sorry but I have to go." I moved toward the door again. I stopped
dead in my tracks my mother was standing in the doorway.

   I looked into her eyes to only see a coldness take over. "So my bastard
son returns to gloat. I should have know you'd come back to see if you'd
get anything. You always were a greedy little bastard." I backed away
trying to hold the tears back. "To bad you didn't die in the
hospital. Maybe then God could have forgiven you. I'm sure your a big slut
now selling your body. Get out of my home and never come back." I pushed
past her and ran out of the house. I couldn't see where I was going I
didn't care. I felt to strong arms wrap around me. Then I was pulled into a
car and off we went. I couldn't stop crying it just hurt so much. I knew
what was going to happen if I saw her. I guess I had prayed she would do
other wise. I stopped crying and just closed the doors I was getting good
at that. This time there was a new numbness that set in I just didn't feel
anymore. I hoped that would last for the rest of my life. No more pain no
more nothing sure I would sacrifice the good things. But it was worth it
wasn't it not to hurt anymore. We were at some car rental place. Brian was
getting a van for us to use. I was reading the news paper it was a few days
old. So I would know where the grave site was. I was going to say my good
byes. then I could leave and never return to this place.

*************Kevin

  I could see him shutting down peace by peace. His eye's looked dead to
the world. His face held nothing but a mask. I had tried talking to him but
it was like he couldn't hear anymore. I had seen the woman walking up to
the house. I didn't know who she was or why she was there. Shortly after
Tom came running out like the place was on fire. I had pulled him into the
cab and told the driver to punch it. Once we all in the van I could see
Nick trying to talk to Tom. It wasn't doing any good what ever have been
said. I couldn't even think about what that woman said to him. I had seen
the younger woman come running out of the house after we were driving. She
was crying and screaming out for us to stop. I wasn't about to give them a
chance to attack Tom again. I would never let that happen again I promised
myself that. About an hour later we pulled into Brian's house it was like
it always was. The house was empty a note was on the door. Welcome home
make yourselves at home and don't eat all my food. I was laughing while I
was reading the note. I handed it to Brian and it got the same response. We
walked into the house leading Tom to the couch. He sat down without looking
up once he looked so lost. He pulled a note pad out then started writing.

   He then stood up and left the house I was so shocked I couldn't
move. None of the guy's could it was just so sudden. I walked to where he
had thrown his note pad on the table. I picked up and my heart stopped the
words were so full of pain.

(I'm not a poet so it's not that good but I do hope you like. It's all so
the reason for the title of the story. I did write it and I do have
copyright on it. So if you want to use please ask first.)  </P><P
ALIGN=CENTER> </FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" BACK="#ffffff"
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" SIZE=5 PTSIZE=14 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
FACE="Arial" LANG="0">The Lost </FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" BACK="#ffffff"
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" SIZE=2 PTSIZE=10 FAMILY="SANSSERIF"
FACE="Arial" LANG="0"> Lost in a world pain.
 I think I've gone insane.
 Every night I cry alone.  Lost in a world so cold so cruel.  Lost to the
human race.  I thought I had found my place.  Lost again in a world of
pain.  Now I cry out reaching.  No one there to save me.  It's so cold now
so alone.  Losing touch with those I love.  Lost am I to everything.  Never
to be found.  Choices made it's time to pay.  Why does the world hate?
Those who are gay.  How I use to pray.  For the day.  When I was loved.
Lost to a world of pain.  I think I've gone insane.  Now it's time to pay.
I just pray.  Tears fall like waterfall's.  Hidden within that's where they
stay.  I just pray for change.  Until that day I will pay.  I am who I am.
I can be no one else.  End.

</P><P ALIGN=LEFT> I was crying while I read it I couldn't believe what I
was seeing. I ran outside the door searching for him. He was gone I
couldn't see where he had ran off to. I was scared I didn't know what that
poem meant. "Kev, we got to find him fast if we don't I've afraid of what
we'll find." Brian was by my side but I wasn't hearing him I was
looking. Then I saw him sitting in a tree his legs hanging down. He was
sitting on a branch so he wasn't dead. I ran to the tree and looked up at
him trying to control my voice. "Tom are you ok up there man?" I was
looking for a nod something that said he was home. He looked down at me
like he was lost.

   "You know when I was a kid I use to clim tree's all the time. I would
sit in a tree all day and read to my little sister. We use to be really
close my sister and me. I thought she could understand me accept me for who
I was. So when she told me she hated me. I didn't understand why or how she
could feel that way. Today I saw a different person in my sister. Someone I
didn't want to see in her eyes. I saw my little sister caught up in there
somewhere. She's as lost as I am and I left her. She didn't hate me because
I was gay. She hated me for leaving that day. She knew I would leave once
my parents were done with me. She was going to be alone then I knew but
didn't care. I left and now here I am." I had never seen him like this and
I blamed myself for it. I had let him go in there alone. I could have
talked him in taking me with him. But I didn't I let my mind take over for
a short time.

   That was all it had taken a short time. Now I could have lost him all
together. He was still talking but I couldn't understand him
anymore. "Kevin I love you I have since the first time I met you. I was
afraid you'd hate me to if you knew. I couldn't take that I couldn't handle
you leaving me. So I kept pulling away so I wouldn't get hurt. I know you
most likely hate me now. That's ok I understand why, but I wanted to tell
you how I felt. That way I can move on and start over. You don't have to be
my friend anymore." He was starring off into the night. Brian was right
behind me holding me up. I would have fallen over if he hadn't. I was
crying so hard it was rocking my body. "Tom I love you, I don't want to
lose you. I've had the same feeling as you have, please believe me. I just
kept finding way's to wait so I wouldn't risk losing you. Please come down
I'll keep you safe I promise. I'll hold you now and forever you won't ever
have to face something alone again." I was willing him down from the
tree. He looked down into my eyes like he was deciding.

   I saw something flicker in his eyes for a brief second. Then he swung
his leg over the tree and he was falling. I caught him without any trouble
he wrapped his arms around me. His head was resting on my chest and I could
feel the tears. I carried him back into the house. I saw Nick reading the
poem his eyes getting wider. I shook my head at him as I carried Tom to
bed. I laid him down then laid down beside him. His body was shaking and I
could hear the sobs. He was asleep in a few minutes he then pulled away. He
was laying close to the wall curled into a tight ball. I didn't want to
leave him but I had to talk to the guys. By the time I had gotten back in
the living room everyone had read the poem. Nick had tears in his eyes
Brian was trying to comfort him. "It's going to take a while but I thinks
he's going to be all right. As for the poem I don't know what to think." I
was looking at the guy's they were as confused as I was. "You know
everything we have a problem we call him. Every time something goes wrong
we call him. We were so blind not to see him in pain. All we cared about
was getting his help on something." Nick was ranting he was more upset than
I had thought. But he had a very good point that I hadn't wanted to admit
to myself.

   The rest of the guy's were agreeing with him. "It wasn't your fault I
didn't let anyone in." Tom said from behind me. He looked a lot better than
before and his eye's were alive again. "I was doing my job every time you
called. I'm your friend or at least I hope so. I wanted to help you
whenever I could. So don't blame yourselves in anyway. You were there when
I needed you. For that I love you all in one way or another." He was
leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I couldn't keep
my eye's from seeing something that wasn't there. He looked like he was
glowing a warm golden light. I blinked trying to clear my vision but it
remained. I heard the other guy's gasping and knew I wasn't the only one
seeing this. He seem to know it was there like it had always been there. He
smiled at like he was letting us in on a secret. "I'm sorry I kept you all
in the dark. I just had to it's one of the reason's I didn't tell you I was
in pain. I knew what would happen or a part of me did. When I let others
see my pain, if they still accepted me, I couldn't hide who I was anymore."
I was beyond confused at this point. I looked at him hard and noticed that
the scar above him eye brow was gone. I almost fell to the ground only to
be caught by a chair. "I'm not some alien or anything like that. I don't
have any real powers. I'm mostly human only I am part something else." I
looked away from him I was in fact scared.

   I looked to the others guys but they weren't scared. Nick looked very
happy so did AJ. Brian looked like he was pleased with it. Howie just
looked confused and lost but not scared. So why should I be scared I turned
back to him. "So what are you not that I you have to spill it or anything."
He looked at with a very pleased look on his face. "80% human 20% wind my
father was 60% human 40% wind. My mother is human my sister is like me."
Now I was more confused I hadn't heard of anything like this. "Ok it's
story time get ready it's a little confusing." He walked over to an empty
chair and sat down.

    "A very long time ago the sprits of wind, water, earth, and fire took
on human form. They wanted to see if the human race was worthy. To make the
story a little bit shorter they fell in love with humans. Two human's had
children that were more power than a human. Two of the sprits had children
and so on. I'm sure you've heard the stories of elf's and other thing's
like that. Well, I'm a descendant of the wind sprit. Over time they became
more and more human. If I ever had children they would mostly be human. But
since we all know that isn't going to happen no use talking about it. Like
I said no real powers I can do a few thing's but not much. I can dance
better than any human. I can float in the air I cannot fly. I guess what I
can do would be called hovering. My sister has more control over it than I
do. The reason why is simple the wind took on a body of a woman. So being a
female gives her more power. Anyway that's off the point of the story. I'm
not a danger to you in anyway. I'm still the same person only less
secrets. I have the same life span as a human. I feel the same way as human
because I am human." He finished looking around the group. None of us were
confused anymore in fact I felt a lot better.

   I looked at Tom and saw that glow wasn't as bright that it was
fading. "You see I could have stayed in the room till the glow faded. But I
do not want anymore secrets between us. I know some of you have seen weird
thing's around me. Thinking your mind's were playing trick's. I'm sorry I
let you think that I just had to. I know AJ has seen my lift off that floor
for short amounts of time. Not much gets past him when he's watching
someone dance. I know Howie saw me working out one day. He saw me fly threw
the air and hit a punching bag. Jumping fifteen feet isn't something a lot
of people can do. Nick just had a feeling something was off. While Brian
just ignores and Kevin thought he was seeing something that wasn't there."
All of the guy's were looking from one to the other. "So you read mind's to
I guess?" I had to ask it what choice did I have. He laughed at me "No
silly I just notice thing's when I screw up." Now I felt a hell of a lot
better if had seen some of my dreams. I didn't even want to finish that
thought.

************Tom

   I had told them as much as I could. I knew it was ok to let ten human's
in on my secret. It was a rule that I couldn't brake I could tell five more
people. I just had to chose wisely, if I didn't I was screwed and would
dead in a short amount of time. "Ok now comes the important part. None this
can go past your lip's if it does I could end up dead. The sprit of wind is
still around and stronger than ever. I'm allowed to tell ten people my
secret. I could tell more but it's a little risky. So a long time ago it
was agreed that we would only tell ten people. So if you don't mind keeping
a secret." Everyone was nodding Kevin was looking at me a little
differently. I still loved him and he loved me but I knew thing's were
different. I wasn't going to hide the way I felt anymore. I wasn't going to
close myself off to the world. I found that in myself I could never
sacrifice love. Even if it meant I would have to deal with the pain. I was
human in my heart and soul I always would be. I had shared my secret with
my greatest friends. I knew this was just the start of a story that would
take a while to tell. I was getting tired and I wanted to sleep. I had to
face a hard fact tomorrow morning. I was going to say good bye and I
wouldn't return.

  I had the best night's sleep I've had in a while. I had to warm arms
around me and the body of my one and only pressed against my back. I could
feel his breath on my shoulder. His lip's were lightly touching my neck. I
was in heaven that was simple. We had stayed up a few more hours talking. I
told them everything I had been told when I was young. Then in return I
learned a few things I hadn't known before. Kevin told me about the younger
girl running after me. I knew it was my sister what she wanted I did not
know. I had a few good dreams that night about my sister. We use to play
fight like only we could. When we hit someone it was either normal, or as
if it were a feather. Like I had told the guys no real power. Now we could
make slam dunks without any problem. That kinda pissed Brian off since I
had beaten him a few times. By the time I went to bed with Kevin everything
was back to normal. Brian made me promise to help him beat Justin of
Nsync. I had no problem with that since he was the one I was in a small war
with. I wasn't looking forward to the next time we met that was for
sure. We had gotten into a huge fight before I was sent to LA. I had dyed
his hair green he couldn't prove it but that didn't matter. I thought it
was an improvement to his look.

   Kevin was starting to stir behind me I frowned. I knew I had to get up
but I also knew I didn't know Brian's mother. I really didn't want to run
into her right this second. I was told she was a sweet heart but still I
was worried. I unwrapped myself from Kevin's arms and got out of bed. I got
dressed and walked outside as silently as I could. I watched the sun rising
and couldn't believe it was so early. I knew I was going to see my sister
today I just had a feeling. She would wait until I came to the grave
site. There was a time when we could read each other like a book. Thing's
had changed so much since that time, but in some small way they were the
same. I could feel her waiting for me even now. I didn't know what she had
to say to me. I didn't even know if I cared anymore. I had a family now
even if I wasn't born into it. I was in love and that feeling was
returned. I could deal with anything now that I had opened my eyes. I wrote
a little note and placed it on the door. I was going for a walk in the
woods for a bit. I told them not to worry that I would be back soon. So I
started walking into the woods looking at the different trees. I jumped
high into the air landing on a branch. I climbed to the top of the tree
with ease.

  I sat there for at the least an hour just looking around. I looked down
to see the guy's looking for me. I was going to do something I hadn't done
in a long time. I jumped from the top of the tree landing on the ground
without making a sound. I walked right behind Nick for five minutes. "Who
are you looking for" I whispered into his ear. He turned around so quickly
he knocked me over. I laughed my ass off for what seemed like forever. The
other guy's had found us and gave me the oddest look. Nick was very pissed
I had played a prank on him. "You promised that you would never prank
me. If I never pranked you." I looked at him and did my best puppy dog
face. "I didn't prank you Nicky trust me. I could have scared the hell out
of you." I told him standing back up smiling. "No, you couldn't you were
just walking behind me." He smiled walking to Brian's side. "I was at the
top of a tree when I first saw you. I jumped down behind you and followed
you. I could have jumped down in front of you." I said smiling to myself I
was in a very good mood. I hadn't gotten the chance to goof off with Nick
in a while. He stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't show that thing unless
you want to use it." Ok I'll admit I was being a bit nuts. AJ cracked up
laughing at the fat that I had used his line. Kevin put on a pout and Brian
pulled Nick to him. I laughed and soon was being chased by Brian and Nick
both.

   I made it back to the house just in time to see a car pull out. I was
out of breath so I didn't say anything. A woman was sitting in the drivers
seat she waved smiling at me. I waved back and smiled I guessed that was
Brian's mother. I heard Nick and Brian come charging out of the woods. I
looked back and smiled brightly at them. I waited till they almost had me
before I jumped into the air. It felt so good to be myself around them to
do something so off the wall. I was sitting on the roof watching them look
around. "You know I finally understand why they call you frick and frack."
I said causing them to look up at me. "You two are just so slow" I laughed
at them. Ok I knew I was pissing them off I was cheating. I saw Nick walked
around to the side of the house. He came back with a hose the water was
already on full force. I rased my hands in defeat hoping I wouldn't be
soaked. I got soaked big time and almost fell off the roof. That's when
Nick and Brian stopped and started trying to help. Once the water was off I
could see again. so I let go of the roof and fell to the ground. It may
have looked like I hit hard but I didn't. Nick was by my side in a second
trying to help me. Kevin was running toward me his eyes wide. "I'm ok calm
down ok, how about I make you a new promise Nick?"

  I promised Nick I wouldn't scare him anymore. Kevin made me make him the
same promise under different rules. I was holding his hand while we walked
back into the house. Once inside I started stripping in the living room
Brian almost freaked. "My Mom will have a heart attack if she walked in on
you stripping." I looked him with my 'oh you are so dead look'. I continued
to strip right in front of him smiling the whole time. "Your mother left
right before you came out of the woods. Do you think I have no manners Bri
come on." I was in my boxers at this point. Brian was trying not to look at
me I could tell. His eyes kept going a little lower down my body every time
he looked. I was freezing so I pulled Kevin into my arms. "I need a blanket
or something." I told him right before I kissed him. His eye's went wide as
did mine. It was like I don't it just seemed to wake me up. I felt so alive
right then I didn't know what to do. I looked into his eye's seeing what I
had been missing. I pulled away walking toward the couch where a blanket
was laying. I wrapped it around my shoulders and laid back waiting for
Kevin. He hadn't moved from the door since I had kissed him. Brian was
tapping his shoulder lightly smiling. Kevin shook himself a little bit
looking around I almost laughed.

   A few hours had passed and we were getting ready to head to the grave
site. Kevin tired to talk me out of it more than once. The other guys were
doing the same thing when Kevin wasn't. I knew they just wanted to help me
but I just knew I had to go. My sister and I shared a link with each
other. It only worked when we were close but I could feel it. She was
calling out to me to come I couldn't refuse. It wasn't in words but I think
it might be the only chance I had to have some family. I knew she was sorry
I could tell that from what she had said. I had to try even if it hurt me
in the end. I knew I would have Kevin to help me and the other guys. I
wasn't afraid anymore I could face this or at least that's what I kept
telling myself.