Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2001 16:33:18 +0000
From: Dannii Ree <raindrops79@hotmail.com>
Subject: "the love we have" chapter 12

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it... I wish I knew them, but I don't. This
is complete fiction.

Notes:  < ... > marks Justin's or JC's thoughts. You'll figure it out:)!!

Notes2: *Evil grin*... thanx for all the amazing feedback after the
cliffhanger n the last chapter. Yes, we know how to catch our reader's
attention! lol So, thanx again, to everybody.  Luke, thanx for all your
mails!!! Here's the next. Enjoy!


Chapter 12 by Dannii


<Shit.> JC thought. <I can't kiss him. I can't. It will ruin everything.
Maybe he'll hate me, or he'll feel awkward around me from then on. I don't
want that. I want to keep what we have.  I'll have to figure out what I
*really* feel for him before I do or say anything.> So, instead of kissing
Justin, like he really wanted to do, he put his arms around Justin's back -
with some difficulties, because Justin was still laying on the bed - and
hugged him as tight as he could without breaking him. And after a second of
hesitation, he felt Justin relax against his body and return the
embrace. <God, this feels so good,> JC thought, <I could do this every day,
all the time.>

At first, Justin was confused and unconsciously stiffened a bit, but then,
after a moment, he totally relaxed into JC's embrace and sighed a
bit. <God, this feels so good.> he was thinking exactly the same thoughts
as JC had seconds earlier. <He smells so nice. His body feels so good. - Oh
god, he still doesn't have a shirt on. I can't believe it. I never want to
let him go again.>

JC finally interrupted the silence.

"Thank you for everything, Justin." He said with a hoarse voice. "I'm so
glad that you are here and that you are Lynn's son. I had so much fun the
last days, those were like the best days of my life. Thanks for being there
for me."

He didn't make a move, just laid there, on top of Justin, his head buried
in Justin's neck, his hands clasped behind Justin's back. He knew that he
wasn't wearing a shirt, but that didn't make him uncomfortable. He just
enjoyed the moment and the sensation of Justin's hand now softly stroking
his back.

"I'm glad, too" Justin responded, whispering. "I like you a lot, JC.
You're a great person, the best big brother and friend somebody could wish
for." He softly ran his hands over JC's back, enjoying the feeling. <Who
knows, maybe I'll never feel this again.> They were laying there in this
position for about a few seconds, when they heard a knock on the
door. Slowly they separated and smiled at each other, and JC leaned in and
gave Justin a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you."

He stood up and went to the door to let in whoever was on the other side,
and Justin looked after him with a smile on his face. A moment later Lynn
entered the room.  Josh quickly put on a shirt and sat back again beside
Justin on the bed, and they looked at Lynn expectantly.

"What's up, mom?" Justin asked. Lynn smiled.

"Nothing much, honey. I just wanted to know when you have to leave tomorrow
and if I should drive you to college, or if you can drive with Joshua.  And
when breakfast should be ready." She looked down at the two boys.

"He can drive with me, Lynn", JC answered. "First- and second-year students
have the introduction together, because we also have several classes
together. The introduction starts at ten, so we should leave here at half
past nine, I think." Lynn looked thoughtfully at him and nodded then.

"That sounds fine. That means we all can have breakfast together, because
Jim doesn't have to be at work before eleven. - Okay, boys, I'll head to
bed, I'm tired.  Justin, honey, don't stay up too long - you know how
grumpy you are in the morning when you have to go to school and didn't have
enough sleep." She walked in direction of the door while she spoke.

"Mom!" Justin whined, and JC laughed.

"I'll watch out that he doesn't stay up too late, Lynn, don't worry." he
grinned. Lynn grinned at them again and said good night before she left the
room and closed the door behind her.  Justin turned to JC with a pout on
his lips.

"Great, Josh. Just support my mom. Traitor." JC laughed out loud and
ruffled Justin's hair.

"Don't pout, *honey*, you look so much better when you smile. And you know
that I don't want you to go to bed too early. This is our quality time,
right?" The pout on Justin's lips disappeared and made room for a big,
sunny smile.

"You're right. Your luck." He settled back on the bed, and a second later
JC joined him and put his head on Justin's shoulder. They stayed this way,
watched the movie and talked like always, until Justin was too tired to
keep his eyes open and decided to go to bed. JC gave him a soft goodnight
kiss on the cheek, and Justin went to bed with a blissful smile in his face
and, for the first time since he arrived in Orlando, fell asleep the moment
his head hit the pillow.

**********

The next morning, Justin woke up early, like the days before. He had a
nervous feeling in his stomach and for a moment didn't know why, but then
he remembered. College.  Today was going to be his first day at the new
college.

Suddenly he remembered his first day at the high school he visited back in
Tennessee, a few years ago. He remembered how all the other boys had made
fun of him because he was so smart. They had laughed at him and called him
a girl because of his curls, and he had sat alone at lunch while all the
other kids around him sat together in groups and had fun. And suddenly the
fear was there that everything was going to repeat itself. He could already
see the other boys laugh at him and call him names. <I can't go there,> he
thought desperately, <I just can't.> Tears came to his eyes and he sat
heavily down on his bed. When the first tear began to roll down his face,
he began to sob, first quietly, then louder. He didn't hear JC knock on his
door from inside the bathroom, and he didn't hear and see him enter the
room after a few seconds when he didn't get an answer. But he felt the arms
that suddenly surrounded him, the warm body he was pulled against, the
comforting hands that stroked his back and his head, and he heard the
soothing voice that talked to him.

"Ssshhhh, Justin", JC cooed as he cradled the younger boy in his arms.  He
didn't know what had happened, but something seemed to upset Justin very
much, and he wanted to make it right. "Everything is fine. Tell me what
happened. I'll make it better, I promise."

Justin clutched to JC like he was his lifeline. "I can't do it, Josh.  They
will hate me, I know it, and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to go
there, please don't make me."

JC continued to stroke Justin's back and his arms, while he softly rocked
him.

"Nobody is going to hate you, Curly, I can promise you that. Nobody.
They'll love you. How can they not love you? You're wonderful. You're
smart, you're funny, you're good looking, and you have so much talent. The
people back in Tennessee were just jealous, that's why they treated you
different.  They couldn't stand that you are perfect. But this is different
here.  People will love you for your talent. They will adore you."  JC
noticed that Justin had stopped sobbing and was intensively listening to
his words, so he continued.

"You'll see, everything is different here. And you already know Tyler and
me. It is his first day today, too. You're not alone. It will be fine." He
leaned back a bit and looked into Justin's eyes that were red from crying.

Slowly he brought a hand up to Justin's face and wiped away the tears that
were still on his cheeks, and Justin leaned into the touch. Then, suddenly,
he smiled.

"Thank you, Josh. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're right, I
just panicked for a moment. You and Tyler will be with me, and it will be
fine."

It was a real smile, and JC smiled back at him and squeezed Justin's hand.

"Yes, it will. This I promise you."

TBC...
******************************************************************
Feedback is very appreciated:  Megan: jujuissecksi@hotmail.com
                               Dannii: raindrops79@hotmail.com