Date: Sun, 07 Oct 2001 03:52:21 +0200
From: Dannii Ree <raindrops79@hotmail.com>
Subject: "the love we have" chapter 22

Disclaimer: Don't know, don't want to imply... don't read if you're not at
least 18 or if it is not allowed to view such material in your area... this
is fiction!!!


Chapter 22     by Dannii


Later that day, when JC was asleep on the couch in the livingroom and Lynn
was back from shopping, Justin went upstairs into his room to see what
classes he had the next day. His gaze roamed over the schedule, and
suddenly he noticed something.

"Oh no. Shit!" He shouted when he realized what he had forgotten. "Shit,
shit, shit!"

"Justin, honey? Is something wrong?" He heard his mother call from
downstairs, and he called back "No mom, everything's fine, I just forgot
something. Nothing bad." <Of course it's important, you idiot>, a small
voice inside his head said. <Do something!> He sat down on his bed heavily
and thought hard, and then, the next moment, he remembered something.

"That's it!" He called and looked at his watch. "Quarter past five,
perfect." He put his purse and a sweatshirt in his shoulder bag, since he
didn't know how long he would stay out, and jumped down the stairs to
search for his mother. He found her in the kitchen, making dinner.

"Mom, can I borrow the car for a while?" He asked while stealing one of the
carrots she was preparing. She looked at him curiously.

"The car? Where do you want to go, honey?" She wanted to know.

"I have to drive to college, I forgot something really important. I really
need to go, mom, please. I'll drive safe, I promise, and the way to school
is really easy to drive and to find.  Please?" He looked at her with puppy
eyes, and she sighed.

"Fine. But drive carefully, okay? And don't stay out too long!" He smiled
brightly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks mom. I promise to be careful, and I won't be out too long, I think.
When Josh wakes up, can you tell him that I'll be back soon?" He waited for
Lynn's nod before he went out of the kitchen and grabbed the keys for the
car from the shelf in the hall.

"See you later, mom!" He called and left the house to drive to college.

**********

It was ten minutes to six when Justin arrived at the parking lot in front
of the college.  Normally it was cramped with cars, but now it was nearly
empty, just a few lonely cars were standing there. He climbed out of the
car and looked around, trying to figure out where he had to go. After a few
seconds of thinking, he went to the main building and entered it. He went
straight to the notice-board and found what he was looking for. "Room 116"
he said to himself and went to search for it. Just one minutes later he was
where he wanted to be. He peeked inside the room and saw that some people
were already standing around, waiting. He looked for the blond-haired boy
he was searching for and saw him sitting in a corner of the room, alone,
reading a book. Justin smiled and walked over to him.

"Hey", he said softly when he was standing in front of the boy. Lance
looked up and his eyes became big as saucers when he saw who was standing
there.

"Justin? What- what are you doing here?" he stuttered. His face became red
instantly. Justin smiled at him.

"Can I sit down?", he asked and took the seat next to Lance when he nodded.
There was a moment of silence, then Lance asked

"Are you here to join the chorus?"

"No", Justin answered and laughed slightly. "No. I came here to say that
I'm sorry that I wasn't in class today. I know you promised to reserve me a
seat, and I'm really sorry that I couldn't make it. But first I overslept,
and then my mom said that she had to go out, and asked me if I could stay
home to look out for Josh, cause he still doesn't feel to good..." he took
a deep breath, "and well, I didn't want to leave him home alone, so.. I'm
really sorry."

Lance looked at him in disbelief. "You came here just to tell me you're
sorry? You're kidding me, right?" Justin shook his head.

"No! I'm not kidding you! I'm really sorry, and I hope you accept my
apology." Lance still didn't look very convinced, and Justin sighed.

"Why don't you believe me, Lance? Why should I lie to you?" He sighed again
as Lance bowed his head. "Lance?"

"Because nobody wants to have something to do with me. And why should you
be different?  Especially when you are so popular?"

"Popular?" Justin shouted and smiled apologetically when the other people
in the room looked at him critically. "I'm not popular. Why would you think
that?" He heard Lance snort.

"But you *are* popular, Justin. I mean, you're friends with JC Chasez, one
of the best looking and nicest guys here at college. And you're so nice,
too, and very good looking..." he broke up, flushing even more than before,
and Justin grinned slightly.

"You think I'm good looking?"

"Yes, Justin. I think so. And I'm not the only one." Lance closed his eyes
and waited for the next question he was sure would come.

"Are you... you know..." Justin hesitated.

"Gay? Is that the word you're searching for?" Lance wanted to know.

"Yes", Justin answered, now blushing like Lance.

"Yes, I am gay." Lance admitted. "So, now you know it, and you can run away
and tell your friends. Or wait, I bet they know already, cause everybody
seems to know it.  I'm surprised that you didn't know before." Justin shook
his head slowly.

"No, I didn't know. And why should I run away? This is stupid!" Lance
looked at him incredulous. He couldn't believe that Justin wasn't disgusted
with him.

"That's all you have to say?" he asked. "You aren't disgusted?"

Justin swallowed hard. He didn't really know how to say what he wanted to
say, so he just began.

"Lance... I... I'm... I mean... Shit, why is this so hard?" He looked Lance
in the eyes and cleared his throat. "I think I'm gay, too."  This was the
last thing Lance had expected Justin to say, and he was so surprised that
his book fell on the floor with a loud *bang*. He couldn't believe what he
just had heard.

"You are... you... too? And what do you mean with *I think*?"  Justin
smiled at Lance's confusion. Now that he had said it out aloud, for the
first time ever, he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

"Well... I'm pretty sure that I am gay. I mean, before I came here, I never
was attracted to a boy, but now..." He stopped as Lance interrupted him.

"You're in love with JC, right?" Now it was his turn to smile when he saw
the face Justin made. "Don't worry, it's not so obvious. It's just, that,
well, the way you talked to him when I was at your home, and how your face
lit up when you saw him... At first I thought it was just like a brotherly
love, you know? That you are best friends. But now as you say it... And I
mean, he's really good looking. You two would make a sweet pair."

"You think so?" Justin beamed. "Really?" He sighed dreamily. "He says that
he likes me, too.  *That* way, I mean. And... well, we're not together, not
yet. But soon..."  He looked at Lance and saw that he was listening
intensively.

"Listen, Lance. I don't know why I tell you this all. I mean, I don't know
you very good. But I think you are very nice, I like you, and I have the
feeling that I can trust you. But promise me that you won't tell anybody,
okay? Because, I haven't really figured out everything for myself until
now, and I want to talk to my mom before and so on..."

Lance nodded. "Of course I won't tell anybody. - Can I ask you something?"
When Justin smiled at him encouragingly, he continued "You said that JC
likes you the way you like him - why aren't you together then?"

"Well, it's a bit complicated", Justin answered. "Do you want to hear the
whole story? It might take a while." Lance stood up and picked up his book
from the floor.

"Sure. I can skip chorus today. Maybe we can go somewhere where we can
talk." Justin smiled brightly at him.

"I'd love that. We could grab something to eat and go to the park, what do
you say?"

"That sounds good", Lance answered, and when Justin turned around and
walked out of the room, he followed him, a happy smile on his face. It
seemed as if for the first time since he was at college there was somebody
who could become a real friend.

TBC...