Date: Tue, 16 Oct 2001 21:39:01 +0200
From: Dannii Ree <raindrops79@hotmail.com>
Subject: "the love we have" chapter 24

Disclaimer: You know it... don't know, don't want to imply... this is
fiction!

Author's notes: Sorry for not posting in... I don't know how much days. Did
I say I'm busy in the last post? Well, I didn't know the real meaning of
busy then, I think. College is fun, but it takes up a lot of my time. So
that's one reason why I'll post the next chapters only each few days from
now on. And there's another reason. I'm posting chapter 24 with this mail;
and at the moment I'm working on chapter 32 at home. Megan and me are so
busy that we don't have the time to write the chapters as fast as we did
before. That means that I have to be kinda "slow" with posting from now on,
because otherwise we'll catch up with our own story, and then you'll have
to wait for more than just a few days for the next chapter!!  Anyway,
enough rambling and on with the story!! Enjoy!!

Notes:  < ... > marks Justin's or JC's thoughts (you'll know)


Chapter 24   by Dannii


JC sat on his bed for a moment, not knowing how to react, then he stood up
and followed Justin who had run into his own bedroom. Justin was laying on
his bed, face upwards to the wall, and he had an angry look on his face. JC
swallowed when he remembered that he had put that look there.

"Justin, I'm sorry" he apologised. "I really am. I didn't mean it like it
came out. Really. I was just sad that you weren't there when I woke up. But
I didn't mean that you should not have other friends besides me."

"But it sure sounded like you mean it, JC", Justin said with a disappointed
look on his face.  JC flinched when he heard Justin call him by his `public
nickname', a thing he hadn't done for a while. "I mean, I just don't
understand it! Finally I'm happy, and I make friends, and then you are mad
because of it. But *you* were the one who told me that it would be
different here, that everybody would love me, and that I would make lots of
new friends. And now, that it finally comes to it..." I don't get it! Why
do you act like this? I mean, are you jealous, or what?" He remembered that
he had asked JC exactly the same question just one day ago, and JC hadn't
answered it, because that had been when he had collapsed for the second
time. But now he wouldn't let go, he wanted an answer. JC hesitantly sat
down on the edge of the bed, making sure that he didn't touch Justin
accidentally.  He didn't answer at first, and Justin asked him again.

"Tell me, Josh. Are you jealous? Because I can't think of a reason why you
wouldn't like Lance. I mean, you don't know him, or am I wrong?" He kept
on.

"No, I don't know him. Well, not personally. We've had chorus together for
the last year, but he always was standing or sitting alone, and I never
talked to him. I don't think he has any friends at college, because he
always is alone when I see him." JC said slowly. Justin nodded.

"Yeah, he told me that nobody seems to like him, a thing I don't
understand.  But this can't be the reason why you acted so weird." Justin
heard JC sigh.

"Lance is gay", JC finally said. Justin raised an eyebrow.

"So?", he asked. JC swallowed.

"He is *gay*, Justin. He is gay, and you are... well, you know, and he
seems to like you a lot, and you said that you like him a lot as well,
and... he doesn't look to bad, and I could see why you would choose him and
not me..." JC finally blurted out. "And yes, I was jealous. I wanted you to
spend time with me, and then I woke up and you were gone, and when you told
me that you have been with Lance, I just overreacted. I'm sorry that I made
it sound like I don't want you to have any friends besides me. You know
that that this is not true. I'm glad that you've found friends so
easily. But that doesn't change that I'm afraid that you'll choose him over
me." JC still sat on the edge of the bed, away from Justin, with his head
down. He flinched when he felt Justin touch his hand, but he didn't jerk it
away. Instead, he let Justin take his hand, and slowly he raised his head
to look at him.

"You are right, Josh, I like Lance a lot. But... I don't like him the way I
like you. I never could. You'll always be special to me." JC looked at him
with hope in his gaze, and Justin knew immediately what that meant. "No,
Josh", he continued. "That doesn't mean that we...  I'm still not sure. I'm
sorry to put you through this all, but as I said before, I want to be 100%
sure before I do something that I'll regret later. I could understand if
you say that you don't want to put up with this shit. But *you* have to
understand that this is really important to me.  I don't want to rush
things." Justin sat up while caressing the back of JC's hand with his
thumb. JC looked at him and nodded, then he smiled.

"Okay, Justin. I understand. Again, I'm really sorry for the way I acted.
And I will apologise to Lance for the way I behaved yesterday. You are
right, he seems very nice, and I'm sorry that I didn't talk to him
earlier." Justin smiled back at him thankfully.

"Thank you, Josh, that means a lot to me. You know, it's just that I can
understand him so good. This is what I've been going through back in
Tennessee. Like him I had no friends, I was alone all the time. I know how
he feels. Maybe this is why I like him so much, and why I want to be his
friend. And he needs a friend. Not only one, but a lot of friends."

JC had never thought that it would be possible, but in this moment he loved
Justin even more than before. So he squeezed the hand that was still
holding his and grinned.

"You are wonderful, Justin, do you know that? And I'm proud to be your
friend." Justin became red, and JC grinned even more. "Don't blush, it's
true. And to show you that I mean what I said before and that I trust you
in everything you say, I'll apologise to Lance the next time I see
him. Actually, why don't you invite him over one of the next days?" He
wasn't prepared for the big hug Justin was pulling him in, so it took some
time for him to react and hug the younger boy back.

"You're the best, Josh, really. I already invited him for Sunday, because I
wanted him to help me with photography, and he'll show me some of his
work. Maybe we can drive to the park together afterwards, if you don't have
other plans, and if you feel alright, of course."

"That sounds fine to me, Curly", JC responded. They looked at each other
and then got comfortable on the bed to hang out together, like they had
done since Justin arrived in Orlando.

**********

The next days went by very quick. JC still stayed at home, because he
wasn't feeling good enough to study, and Justin made sure that Tyler told
him all the important things JC needed to know for class. On Saturday they
hung out together at the pool, with Tyler, Jamie, Steve and Joey, and even
Kelly, the girl from one of Justin's classes, came by for a few
hours. Justin liked her a lot, she seemed like a very nice girl, so he had
invited her for the pool party. He couldn't help but notice how well her
and Joey got along.

The next day Lance arrived at the Chasez' residence just a few minutes
after noon. JC talked to him briefly and apologised, and Justin grinned at
him happily. They arranged that they wanted to drive to the park at seven
o'clock to hang out together with the other boys, and then JC went
upstairs.

JC was in his room, busy trying to catch up all the things he missed in
class, and through the closed bathroom doors he could hear Justin and Lance
giggle. A lot. Every few minutes he heard one of them laugh out loud, and
he couldn't suppress the jealous feeling that rose in him. Sure, he trusted
Justin, but still... He went to the bathroom, pretending to wash his hands,
and when the water run he pressed his ear on the bathroom door to Justin's
room, but all he could hear was whispering and giggling. Disappointed he
went back to his room and continued studying.

A few minutes before seven, JC walked into the bathroom and knocked at
Justin's door.

"Justin? Lance? Are you ready to go?" He called. He heard Justin mumbling
something and Lance laughing, and then Justin shouted back

"We'll be ready in a minute, Josh! We'll meet you downstairs, okay?" JC
looked at the closed door confused, wondering why Justin didn't invite him
in.

"Okay", he called back and went back into his room, sighing. He grabbed the
keys to his car and pulled on a sweatshirt over his t-shirt, then he
grabbed his purse and headed downstairs.

In Justin's room Justin looked into the mirror critically and then turned
around to Lance, who was sitting on the bed.

"So, how do I look?" He wanted to know. Lance grinned and showed him thumbs
up.

"Fantastic. Sexy as hell." Justin looked at him astonished and Lance
blushed. "Sorry. But you look damn fine. If JC doesn't start to drool when
he sees you, I don't know what we did wrong. And if he really passes the
test and still manages to resist you and let you make the first step, then
he truly has to love you. Because if I were him, well... I don't think I
could resist." Justin smiled when he saw how comfortable Lance was when he
said these words.  They really had talked a lot today, and Lance had
confessed that he did find Justin attractive, but not attractive enough to
fall in love with him. And Justin had told him that he found him attractive
as well, but that his heart belonged to JC, and that nothing would change
that. And after they had dealt with the subject, everything was relaxed
between them.  So he smiled warmly at Lance and said

"Thanks, Lance. I hope you are right, and I hope Josh passes the test. And
you have to watch how he reacts when he sees me, okay?" Lance nodded and
Justin took a deep breath.

"Okay. Let's go." He grabbed everything he needed for a long night and
followed Lance out of the room.


JC swallowed down the last piece of sandwich when he heard footsteps on the
stairs. "Josh?"  he heard Justin call. "We're ready to go!"

"I'm coming!", he called back and said goodbye to Lynn, who was standing
beside him. He walked out of the kitchen and into the hall - and what he
saw there let him stop abruptly.

"Oh - my - god", he whispered and felt his heart start to beat faster and
his knees become weak. Justin was standing by the front door, talking to
Lance and not looking at him, and he was looking like a god. A sex-god, to
be exactly. He was wearing tight black leather pants JC had never seen
before on him, black boots and a *very* tight, sleeveless, black shirt with
a v- neck. His corkscrew curls were slightly shorter than before, but still
long enough to create a mess on his head that JC wanted to run his hands
through. And he was wearing his glasses.

JC had never seen somebody look as sexy as Justin. For a moment he nearly
forgot that this boy was only 16. He looked hot as hell. JC swallowed hard.

"Damn, Justin, did I miss something? Are we going to go to a club or
something like that?"  Justin looked at him and smiled his sunny smile.

"Not that I know. I just wanted to wear this tonight. Do you like it?" He
walked closer to JC and made a turn in front of him, so that JC could see
everything - even the way the pants hugged his ass.

"Yes, you look... fine. Great. Really great." he answered, not able to stop
staring. Justin turned around to Lance and grinned at him. It seemed like
the `operation - drive - JC - crazy' was a big success.

TBC...

**********
feedback to  Dannii: raindrops79@hotmail.com  and Megan:
jujuissecksi@hotmail.com