Date: Tue, 5 Jun 2001 02:15:30 +1000 (EST)
From: Corey Taylor <lances_leather_pants@yahoo.com.au>
Subject: The more you ignore me (chapter one) new story

OK Everyone, for those of you who haven't met me (and that would be most of
you) my name is Corey and this is my first posted fic, about Lance and
JC. I have written them before but never posted them, however constant
harassment from Aaron and Mel (co-authors of the excellent "Curly and
Josh"), which included threats against my job and my life (which is
laughable you angry little midgets) as well as me being asked by Penelope,
the author of "Not until you love me" to post just one of my stories so she
could see how well I wrote, mean that I have posted the first chapter of
this story. If you hate it then blame them. If you like it, or have any
ideas for me, then please email me at Lances_leather_pants@yahoo.com.au
. Just a quick note if the "advertising gurus" at Mazda are reading this
(yeah likely huh?) could you please stop playing that advert with the
seriously irritating soundtrack? You know exactly which one I mean too, the
one that constantly goes "Zoom, Zoom, Zoom" I'll buy a car off you if you
just stop playing that freaking song! It has been going around in my head
for weeks now. Oh, and by the way, I'm Australian too (yeah another one) so
you will have to excuse any "misspellings" they are intentional.

Disclaimer: I am not really, as suggested by my email address, Lances
leather pants, so I was not present when Lance admitted he was gay. I do
not know any of the guys, nor do I know of their sexual preference. I will
say this, however, I just saw the shots of NSYNC in the July issue of TV
HITS and if JC isn't gay then the boy wants to have an image overhaul,
because silver/gold snakeskin pants with black shoes and a horizontally
striped, brown, black and grey turtleneck sweater set off with a lime-green
vinyl jacket with flared sleeves is not exactly an outfit that screams "I'm
a masculine hetero guy". In fact he looks like an extra from a "Where's
Waldo" book. From this picture you would believe that Lance and Chris were
the only straight ones in the group, and that's sad! Enough said.

Stories I recommend:

Curly and Josh: Aaron is a great writer and super-cute too (sorry Mel).
Not until you love me -- Because Dawn is ace, and listens to my whine a lot
Lance JC and the astral fan -- because it is really different and has Lance
and JC "doing stuff"
NSYNC Lance n JC -- Although I've only just started it, but it has Lance
and JC in it and sounds promising.

OK, on with the story.



"I don't mind
I don't mind if you forget me
Having learned my lesson
I never leave and impression on anyone
The pressure to change, to move on
Was strange
And very strong
So this is why I tell you
I really do understand
I DON'T MIND IF YOU FORGET ME"

Lance sat inconspicuously in the reclined leather seat of the plane, the
loud humming of the engine audible over the music from his Discman. His
face was turned toward the window so that none of the other passengers
could see the tears spilling down his cheeks. He needn't have bothered
hiding, however, as it seemed that the entire plane was full of middle-aged
business people who not only failed to recognise him as famous, but
neglected to notice him at all. Normally he would have been glad of the
anonymity, being unaccustomed to fame it made him nervous when people he
didn't know came up to speak to him. But now he wanted to stand up from his
first class seat and declare to the entire plane "I'm Lance Bass from
NSYNC". Just in the hope that someone, a fan, a boy-band hater, anybody,
would sit next to him and start a meaningless conversation, to tear him
away from the cocktail of mixed emotions and thoughts stirring through his
mind.

It had only been 2 years since the day he realised he loved JC, but the
scenario repeated every time they had a break from touring. JC and Justin
would go home to their respective families before meeting up again in
Orlando. Joey and Chris would go back to their shared apartment and their
respective girlfriends, and Lance would go back to his parents home, alone,
to take care of his various business concerns, forgotten by the rest of the
group until touring resumed. He would then spend the vacation time growing
more and more miserable by the day, before making the promise to himself to
tell JC during the next time the saw each other. Now here he was, at the
close of another tour, the familiar trip back to Tennessee, his promise to
himself broken, his emotions in tatters and the words "I love you" unsaid.

"Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again."

It wasn't as though he hadn't had ample opportunity to tell JC how he
felt. They were together a lot, JC had even become his hotel "room mate" on
the last 2 tours because Britney's recurring presence made it inconvenient
for Justin to share a room. Lance lied to himself, telling himself that he
wasn't sure why he left his feelings unexpressed, but deep down he knew
exactly why. It was what he currently shared with JC that made him so
apprehensive. The friendly smile when he woke in the morning.  The
"in-jokes" that only the two of them understood. The nightly ritual of
sharing their opinions and thoughts with each other, from their separate
beds in a dark motel room, as children at a pyjama party would.  JC
standing behind him as he completed work on his computer after dinner,
asking questions about his life outside NSYNC, actually taking an interest
in him. The wrestling matches JC often started with him for no apparent
reason. The secret glances he took of JC sleeping. The full on views of
exposed flesh as JC walked from the shower to his suitcase to dress, the
perfectly formed chest and muscular stomach he often dreamed of running his
hands over, the lightly haired "runway" from his navel disappearing into
the towel wrapped around his waist, the well-defined and flawlessly bronzed
arms he longed to have wrapped around him. All of these things were so
sacred to him now that he was afraid to reveal his true feelings lest it
all go awry and spoil what little he held dear. Even if that silence meant
he would spend the entire vacation is misery, crying every time a love-song
played on the radio, falling asleep every night alone in a cold bed while
the object of his affection was miles away, Lance the furthest thing from
his mind. Despite his best efforts he could not even have the kind of
friendship with JC that Justin shared, let alone a passionate relationship,
because once NSYNC took a break Lance ceased to be part of a group and went
back to being alone.

"You can only be strong for so long
It might not eat you but it would be too..
So this is why I tell you
I really don't understand this time
And I DO mind if you forget me."


OK Folks, there it was. I know the first chapter wasn't the best, but I
promise it will get better. If you think the story is worth going on with,
then let me know. If you don't think I should continue, or you have some
suggestions to make the story better, then let me know. Don't hold back I'm
not fragile, I need the truth.

Thanks, Corey T.
P.S. Aaron, Mel and Dawn, I did it, are you proud? LOL.