Date: Wed, 11 Aug 1999 12:13:39 EDT
From: NeilsANerd@aol.com
Subject: The Real Kevin (Part III)

DISCLAIMER: Not for people under the age of 18 years.  Includes homoerotic
material that may be unsuitable for some readers.  This is a fictional
story (how I hate to say it) involving celebrities.  This story is in no
way meant to imply or suggest the sexual orientation of anyone involved.

--------------
The Real Kevin
--------------
by Neil
e-mail me at NeilsANerd@aol.com

Part III
--------

     After their lengthy preparation, Howie announced "Well, Neil, we've
gotta go now.  We should be back in a couple of hours.  Unless you want to
go with us?"
     "Oh no, I have some things to take care of."
     "Oops, I forgot something in my room."  Kevin was making sure he was
the last to leave.  He walked towards his room, then turned around when he
was sure the other Boys had walked outside.  He gave me a quick kiss and
said, "I'm going to tell them in the dressing room after this rehearsal."
     "If you're sure of it, go for it."  I smiled as he left.

     Moments later, Andy called me.  "Hey, man, can I ask a favor?  I have
to be gone for the rest of the day.  Can you feed my dogs and water the
plants?"
     "Sure, I can do that.  I don't really have anything else planned. Oh,
crap, the Boys wanted you to come to the concert tonight.  Are you sure you
can't make it?"
     "Yeah, I'm sure.  I'm sorry I'll be missing it.  By the way, speaking
of plans, how did yours turn out?"
     "The plan was screwed up.  But things still turned out..._way_ better
than I could have imagined."  I quickly hung up, smiling.
  
     Then I decided to go to my favorite spot in the house, a small
bell-tower type patio up on the roof.  I sat up there thinking for a long
time.  I wondered what it was exactly that Kevin was going to say.  Would
he just tell them he was gay, or would he mention us?  That would change
things here at the house, however long they decided to stay.  I remembered
that I had to call Shannon and tell her about going to the concert tonight.
After I told her that they personally invited us, I couldn't hear out of my
left ear for a while.
      
     The Boys finally made it back to the house.  As they got out of the
van, they looked so tired.  Tired or shocked?  I wasn't sure.  I opened the
door for them and said, "Hey, guys.  How was the rehearsal?"
     "Tiring.  Must sleep now."  Brian said.
     Nick agreed with him, "Yeah, good night."
     AJ was the next to enter the house.  "Hey, you got any movies to
watch?"
     I answered, "Yeah, go ahead and have a look in the cabinet next to the
TV."
     "I'll watch with you, AJ."  Howie said as he followed AJ.
     Kevin was the last to enter.  As he walked in, he just shook his head
'No.'  I nodded, understanding that he hadn't told them.  "Ready to go see
the sights?"  I asked.
     "Sure, man.  Just let me go change."
     
     We got into my car.  "Why didn't you?"
     "I just couldn't.  I told them that we needed to talk.  But when we
were in the dressing room, I just couldn't.  It was too hard.  Where are we
going?"
     "I understand; it's very hard to come out to people.  And we're going
to Andy's apartment.  He had to leave town, so I promised him that I'd feed
his dogs and water his plants."
     "So he won't be there?"  Kevin asked rather enthusiastically.
     "No, he won't.  What are you thinking about?"  I asked.
     "Oh, same thing you are."
     He couldn't have been further from the truth.  I was thinking about
tomorrow, when the guys had to leave.  What would happen then?  Would I
just go about my life like it was just an ordinary weekend?  I couldn't do
that.  I really felt something when I was around Kevin.  "No, I don't think
you are."
     "Well, I'll have to change that."  Kevin put his hand on my thigh and
squeezed.  I laughed and pushed it away.
     "STOP THAT!!  It tickles!"
     
     We arrived at Andy's building.  We entered Andy's apartment, and I
went to fill up the watering can.  "Turn on the radio by the window so we
can listen to some music."  Kevin did so, just as the song "I Do" by 98
degrees came on.  I was busy watering the plants when I felt a tap on my
shoulder.  I spun around to see Kevin reaching out his hand.  "Want to
dance?"
     "Sure."  I smiled.  It was a very romantic dance.  He hugged me close,
and I put my head on his shoulder.  He sang along with the second verse:
     "In my world, before you
      I lived outside my emotions; didn't know where I was going.
      'Til that day, I found you.
      Now you've opened my life to a new paradise.
      In a world torn by change
      Still with all my heart, 'til my dying day."  He then leaned in to
kiss me.  We kissed until the end of the song.  I still was thinking about
tomorrow.
  "Kevin, what happens tomorrow?  I don't want to see you leave."
     He started to laugh.
     "What is so funny?  I'm busy thinking about how much I care for you,
and how I hate to see you leave tomorrow.  And you're here laughing it up!"
I made it clear that his behavior really upset me.
     "Oh, I'm sorry.  I'm not supposed to tell you yet."
     "You're not supposed to tell me what yet?  Kevin, answer me."  I gave
him a strong, hurtful look in the eye as I moved away from him and our
dance.
     "I really can't.....oh, fine.  We want to hire you as a dancer."
     "WHAT?!?  You want to.....uuuughhhh."  And I fainted.
   
     The next feeling I had was coldness on my face.  I opened my eyes to
see Kevin wiping my face with a cold cloth.  "What happened?"
     "You fainted about five minutes ago.  You think you can get up?"
     "Yeah.  I can't remember....oh yes I can.  What is this about my being
one of your dancers?"
     "Well, I was really impressed by your dancing at the recital
yesterday.  And today after rehearsal, one of our dancers announced that he
was going to quit.  So, when we were in the dressing room, I suggested
hiring you.  All the others thought it was a good idea."
     "So that's what you told them instead?"  He nodded.  "Kevin, I really
do care about you.  And nothing would please me more than to be with you on
your tours and everything...."
     "I hear a 'but' coming on."
     "BUT, I just can't leave my life here.  I still have college, and I
have friends and family here.  I just don't know.  You'll have to give me
time to think about it."
     "I understand.  Hey, we should go eat.  I'm famished."

     We ended up in an Italian restaurant a few miles down the road.  After
being seated, Kevin excused himself to the restroom.  As he walked by one
table, a group of girls just looked at him and started to quietly freak
out.  He came back and sat facing away from the girls' table.  I saw the
girls urging a small, blond girl who looked to be in her late teens to
approach Kevin.  She got up, and I quickly thought up a plan.  When I was
sure she was in hearing distance, I said to Kevin, "Exactly how much work
do you get as a Kevin Richardson look-alike?  I mean, does it really pay
the bills?"
     He looked at me strangely, then saw the girl standing next to our
table.  Then he understood.  "Not a lot.  No, I do medical transcriptioning
at my house.  The look-alike thing is just something fun.  Oh, miss, I'll
have a Coke."
     She said, "Oh, no, I don't work here.  I was just...passing by."  She
returned to her friends, who listened intently when she spoke to them, then
looked let down.
     Kevin whispered, "Thank you so much.  I really would have hated a
scene in here."
     "No, prblem, I would have hated it too.  Especially when some young
_girl_ tries to steal _my_ man."  We both smiled.
     We ate, then decided to return to the house so Kevin could rest.
Before we got to the house, I turned off the side of the road.  "So,
earlier, you had other plans for our time together?" I said as I squeezed
his thigh the same way he did mine.  He smiled, then pulled me in for a
kiss.  This was the most passionate kiss yet.  He pulled us closer.  His
tongue danced in my mouth, and I was in ecstasy.  His hands roamed my back,
then moved down to my butt.  I decided to stop things, so I broke the kiss.
     As I moved back into my seat I said, "Kevin, what are you doing?
We're here, by the road.  A car could just drive by at any moment."  Then I
looked at him.  He was looking out the front windshield with the most
terrifying look I have ever seen.  He looked like we were going to be hit.
I looked out of the windshield too, and I bet I made the same expression.
      
     There, parked right in front of us, was the van, with AJ and Howie
staring right at us.

     AJ got out of the van, walked up to my car, and opened the passenger
door.  "Kevin, would you like to join Howie and me?  I think we need to
talk."  Kevin just looked at me and stepped out of the car.
     I was frantic.  I didn't know what to do, so I just took off.  I
didn't go back to my house, I just drove.  I ended up at Shannon's house.
I was crying when she opened the door.  "What the heck is wrong with you?"
     I just ran into her house and collapsed on the floor.  "There's
something I have to tell you.  I didn't tell you earlier on the phone, but
me and Kevin...."  I was cut off by her scream.
     "You mean you two?"  I nodded.  "Well, isn't that your dream come
true?  Why are you crying?"
     "AJ and Howie just caught us."
     "Oh.  I'm sorry.  What are you going to do?"
     "I don't know.  I can't go back to the house.  I'm sure they're having
a group meeting about this by now.  I don't know what to do!"
     She sat on the floor next to me and embraced me.  "Hush, now.  I'm
sure it'll be alright.  I'm sure it'll be alright."

     Back at my house, Howie, AJ, and Kevin sat around the table.  "So,
Kevin, I guess that we know now...." AJ really didn't know what to say, but
he said something.
     "Yeah, I guess you do."  Kevin started to cry.  "I was going to tell
you all, but I just couldn't, I just couldn't."
     "Hey, man, it's alright with me."  Howie said.
     "Really?  You're not upset or mad at me?"
     "No.  Nothing could make me mad at you."
     "Well, I'm a little upset that you kept it from us."  AJ stated.
     "AJ!  How could _you_ of all people say something like that?!?  I
mean, since we know about Kevin, I think he should know about us!"  Howie
threw it in AJ's face.  AJ got a maddened expression on his face.
     Kevin asked, "Wait, you two?  Oh, my gosh, I never thought.  All this
time?"
     AJ volunteered the answer.  "No, not _all_ this time, but for a few
months now.  Howie and I have been friends since before the Backsteet Boys.
And one day, it just went beyond friendship."
     "So I guess you two are fine with it.  I still don't know about Brian
and Nick.  How am I going to tell them?"
     Howie corrected him, "How are we _all_ going to tell them?"
     As if on cue, Nick came bounding into the kitchen.  "Oh, yeah!  Hey,
Brian, why don't you tell them all who the King of Pool is?"
     Brian rolled his eyes and said, "You are, Nick.  The King of Pool."
Brian walked to the refrigerator to get some root beer.  "You guys want
anything?"
     "Gimmee a Coke, servant" Nick replied.
     "Could you just get me some water?  I just need some water" Kevin
asked.
     Brian recognized the tone in Kevin's voice.  "Uh oh.  Cuz, what's
wrong?"
     "I just...have some things on my mind.  I think I have to get
something off my chest."  With this, Kevin glanced at Howie, who slightly
nodded.  He then looked at AJ, who scowled and lowered his hat.
     "Well, whatever it is, make it quick.  I'm expecting a rematch with
Mr.Ego Nick here."
     "I think you'd better sit down for this one.  Both of you."  They
obliged and sat down at the table.
     "Well, I think I'd better start at the beginning.  See, yesterday, I
was in my room.  I was feeling down.  Neil happened by and saw that I was
upset.  He asked why, and I told him.  I told him the truth, which I think
might hurt you all.  I told him that I felt so very alone, even around you
guys, because you guys pair off and I'm left, alone."
     Everyone gave him a hurt look.  "I never realized...Kevin, I'm so
sorry" Brian said.
     "I don't think any of us really saw it.  Kevin, you could've just
asked to do stuff with us.  I hope we're more of a family than that."  Nick
tried to cheer him up.  AJ and Howie kept quiet, knowing that there was
more to be told.
     Kevin continued.  "That's not the whole story.  After I said that,
Neil told me a story about how he too felt alone in high school, even
though he was popular.  He just didn't have any trustworthy friends.  He
made me see that I have that in you guys."  More tears.  "He made me see
that I hold in a lot of stuff, especially feelings.  I feel like I have to
be the responsible one, not because I'm the oldest, but because it keeps me
from feeling what I feel.  I admitted to him what I'm about to admit to you
all."  He froze and gulped.  His hands started to shake, and his face
turned red.
     Brian asked, "Kevin, are you alright?  You're starting to scare me."
     "Yeah, I'm....fine.  It's just that.....I.....I'm gay."  Kevin broke
down.  He quickly got up from the table, ran into his room, and locked the
door.
     Brian was shocked.  He was Kevin's cousin; he had known him since they
were kids.  This couldn't be.  Nick reacted differently.  As soon as Kevin
admitted it, Nick yelled, "WHAT?!?"  After Kevin ran off, Nick still was
very angry.  "What the...?  How does he...?  Why....?"  Nick didn't know
what to say.  "Why are you two so calm?" he asked AJ and Howie.
     Howie answered.  "Well, there's more to the story.  See, just a while
ago, AJ and I....caught Kevin.  I really don't want to get into any more
detail than that."  He was saving me.  "After Kevin admitted to us that he
was gay...."  He stopped and looked at AJ, who gave a look suggesting that
he couldn't stop Howie's story now.  "...I admitted to him that AJ and I
have been seeing each other."
     "WHAT?!?"  Nick repeated.  He put his hand over his forhead, got up
from the table, and just paced around quickly.  "Oh my...AAAHHH!!!  Why is
this coming out now?  And how long?  And how long have you knew?  And why
didn't you...?  Ugh!"
     AJ got a little upset at Nick's reaction.  "Hey, Nick, sit down now!
I'll tell you why this is coming out now.  It's because we didn't want
Kevin to be alone, AGAIN.  But we've failed in that.  Howie and I have been
seeing each other for a few months.  And we're not really gay, I don't even
think I would consider myself bisexual.  It's just that Howie is the only
guy..."
     "Alright, that's ENOUGH!"  Brian interrupted.  "I don't know what is
going on here, but I know that I have to go see how Kevin is.  As soon as I
take care of that situation, I'll concentrate on this one."  He got up and
walked towards Kevin's room.  "Kevin, open the door.  It's Brian.  Come on,
Kevin."  He turned the door knob; it wasn't locked.  He walked in, but the
only thing he saw was an open window.

     Back at Shannon's house, I had recomposed.  "I have to go see how
things are going.  And how everybody is."
     "Do you want me to come with you?"  Shannon asked.  I shook my head
and left.  I started the drive to my house.  Not a mile from the house, I
saw Kevin walking by the road.  When he saw my car, he ran towards it.  I
stopped and opened the door for him.  He was crying heavily.  "I can't go
back.  I just can't go back.  Don't take me there.  Let's go somewhere
else."
     "Alright, alright.  We'll go to Andy's apartment."
     Upon arrival, he started to tell me the story.  About how he had to
admit his homosexuality to Howie and AJ.  Then how Howie told him that he
and AJ were dating, but AJ wanted to keep it secret.  Then he told about
admitting it to Brian and Nick, and Nick's reaction.  I hugged him close
and kissed his head.  I wiped his tears with my hands.  Then I moved him to
look in his eyes.
     "You know, we can't just hide here forever.  You have another
rehearsal in just half and hour.  And the show tonight."
     "I forgot!  Darn it!  I don't know if I can face Brian and Nick.  I
don't even know if we're still a group...."
     "I'm sure you are.  Come on, you better be ready for this.  I'm taking
you back.  I've waited years for a Backstreet Boys concert, and I'll be
danged if I'm going to miss it."  He saw that I was trying to cheer him up
and made a little smile.
     "You're the best.  How did I ever find you?"
     "I know.  And _I_ found _you_, thanks to some stupid hotel."  I stood
him up from the couch, hugged him, then kissed him quickly on the lips.
"Now, come on."

     Brian sat in the living room, crying.  "Why didn't I get to him
sooner?  Why didn't I act better?  Where could he be?  What's going to
happen now?"  He kept sobbing.  Howie sat next to him and starting rubbing
his back.
     Howie said, "I'm sure he'll be back soon.  We have a rehearsal, and
Mr.Responsible wouldn't miss it."  Nick was sitting in a chair in the
corner of the room, just staring blankly into space.  AJ had went up to the
patio.  But now he came running down.  "Hey, Neil just drove up, and
Kevin's with him."  Brian immediately stood up and went to the front door.
As Kevin opened the door, Brian hugged him.  "I'm so sorry.  So sorry...."
     "I know, Brian, I know.  But can we forget this just for a little
while?  We have a rehearsal."  Howie and Brian laughed.  "What did I say?"
     "Oh, nothing, Kev."  Howie replied.  Then I walked into the room, but
I didn't say anything.  I just wanted them to talk to me if they wanted to.
Nick came out of his trance.
     "Howie, earlier you said you 'caught' Kevin.  And I bet I know exactly
who he was with."  He got up out of the chair and walked right over to me.
"YOU did this, didn't you?  YOU CAUSED ALL THIS PAIN!"  He pointed his
finger right in my face.  "COME ON, ADMIT IT.  IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
     I went stark mad and slapped his finger away from my face.  "HOW DARE
YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!  I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NICK CARTER, I WOULDN'T
CARE IF YOU WERE PRESIDENT CARTER!  YOU DON'T COME INTO MY HOUSE AND TALK
TO ME LIKE THAT!  AND WHAT 'ALL THIS PAIN'?  YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S
HURTING HERE.  YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR KEVIN.  INSTEAD, YOU'RE BEING A
LITTLE PISS-ASS AND MAKING THE SITUATION EVEN WORSE!"
     Nick drew back like he was going to hit me, but he knew better.
Instead, he turned to Kevin.  "Is that why you wanted to hire him, so you
could have your tricks on the road?!"
     This really angered Kevin.  He walked over to Nick and pushed him
against the wall.  He held him there with one hand over Nick's neck.  "I
WILL NOT HAVE YOU TALK TO OR ABOUT NEIL LIKE THAT!  I FEEL LIKE GIVING YOU
TWO BLACK EYES AND A BLOODY NOSE.  BUT YOU SHOULD THANK HEAVEN ABOVE THAT
WE HAVE A SHOW.  OTHERWISE, YOU WOULD BE IN SO MUCH PAIN YOU WOULD WISH YOU
WERE DEAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"  Nick had a terrified look on his face; he was
obviously very afraid of Kevin.  "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!"  Kevin
released Nick, and Nick ran outside.  Kevin stormed off into his room.
      "Holy shit.  I've never seen Kevin mad."  AJ said.
      Brian said, "I've never heard him be that loud."
      "Nick's right.  It _is_ all my fault."  With that, I ran to my room.
I don't know how much time passed before Kevin knocked on my door.  "Neil,
are you alright?"
      "Yes, just go to rehearsal.  You can take my car if you don't want to
ride with Nick."
      "Ok, thanks.  Are you sure you're going to be alright?"
      "Yeah."  Moments later, I heard the van and my car drive off.  I must
have fallen asleep from exhaustion from all the day's events.  When I woke
up, I realized that their rehearsal would be over soon.  I set my CD player
on Track 3 and 'Repeat.'  "Show Me The Meaning" was one of my favorite, and
most personal, songs.  As it played over and over, I just thought about how
everything was going to go.  I guess I was too deep in thought, because the
next thing I knew, there was a knock on my door.  "Come in."
     It was Nick.  When I saw him, I just turned myself around so I was
looking away from the door.  He said, "Neil....I'm really sorry about what
I said earlier.  I was just really surprised.  I wasn't prepared for that
kind of news.  You have every right to be mad at me, but I hope we can put
this behind us."
     I sniffled.  "I can only forgive you if you're genuinly happy for
Kevin.  He's been through a lot to hold this back.  And to be able to admit
it to you all."
     "I am happy for him.  For you both.  I just didn't handle it right.
Am I forgiven?"
     "Well, I guess."  I said in a joking manner.  He laughed.  I got up
and walked out the door with him.
     "Geez, I'm glad to see you two made up."  AJ said.  When Kevin saw us,
he just came over and hugged us both.  "Ah, what the heck?  GROUP HUG!"  AJ
called.  Everyone came over and hugged.  I started to laugh, which made
everyone else laugh.  We broke the hug, and I had to wipe a tear from my
eye.
     "Kevin, could I see you in my room for a few minutes?" I asked after
Brian and Nick went to have their rematch.  "Sure."  We both went into my
room, where "Show Me The Meaning" was still playing.  I locked the door.
     "Oh, I'm sorry.  I'll turn it off."
     "No, don't bother.  Why that song?"
     "Well, it's kinda become my theme song."
     Kevin looked confused.  "Isn't that a bit...depressing?"
     "No.  Even though it was written as the loss of a love or a life, I
look at it differently.  I have my own interpretation of it.  Like your
part. 'Eyes of stone observe the trends.  They never say, forever gaze.'
That describes my life.  I've never been in a relationship before, I just
saw how other people did it.  I've always liked to watch people.  I got a
feeling about how the human mind works and how emotions play.  That's why I
decided to go into psychology.  So the song really isn't sad for me.  But
that's not why I asked you in here."
     "Well, why did you ask me in here?"  I didn't say anything, I just
went over and kissed him.  He parted his lips so my tongue could enter his
mouth.  I led him over to the bed, where I sat him down.  We kissed more.
He put his arms over my shoulders and started to rub my back.  I started to
unbutton his shirt.  After I undid the last button, I laid him down, still
kissing him.  I grabbed his arms and put them up over his head.  Then I
started to kiss my way down his neck, then onto his chest.  I got to one of
his nipples, and I licked and sucked it.  I felt his hands on the back of
my head.
     "No, no, no.  Back up where they belong."  I put his arms back over
his head.  Then I proceeded to suck and bite his other nipple.  He moaned
with pleasure.  I unbuttoned his pants, then slowly slid the zipper down as
I kissed and licked my way down his muscular stomach.  He lifted his hips
so I could pull his pants and his underwear down.  He had a full 10-inch
erection.  I held the base of it, then I started to lick and suck his
balls.  Kevin moved his hips up and down.  Then I moved to the shaft.  I
licked all the way up and swirled my tongue around the head.  Then I slowly
slid his cock into my mouth.  I sucked for minutes before he said that he
was going to cum.  This made me do it more fiercly, as I concentrated on
the head.  Seconds later, I felt the warm fluid squirt into my mouth.  I
swallowed all of it, then I released his cock from my mouth.
     "That was amazing." Kevin said.
     "Well, I just thought you could use a little....inspiration for your
show tonight."

To Be Continued....