Date: Mon, 7 May 2001 18:20:52 EDT
From: MrClean290@aol.com
Subject: The thing with Nick 5

Sorry its been awhile, school has been crazy, but its kinda more calm now,
so i'll send out the next 1-3 chapters this week!  thanks for reading for
letting me knwo what you think, feedback makes me giddy!  anyway, here is
chapter 5. thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: uh huh, yeh, i know the intimate details of thier lives, i
think not!

~~~~~

The Thing with Nick 5

The thing with Nick is, I'm the only one who's seen him cry.

He says he doesn't.  I know he says that.  But he does.  Like a baby
sometimes.  But just to me.  Sometimes Brian comforts him, but mainly, it's
been me that's brushed his tears away so that he could face the public
without bloodshot eyes.

It was so hard to turn away from his tears this time.  I saw him leave AJ's
room early the next morning, I stood in my doorway watching him walk to his
room.  My tears had been spent in the earlier hours of the morning, and had
none left to cry over Nick and his betrayal.  I watched him fumble with his
key card.  I watched it fall to the ground and I watched him spend ten
minutes trying to pick it up.  I watched as the light turned green and I
watched as his body turned towards my door.  He had that look, like he
wanted to come to me, but he just glanced over, he glanced, and I stared,
and he caught my eyes.  He saw the pain and hurt and how betrayed and used
I felt.  I'm the only one who has seen Nick cry himself into a frenzy.  But
this time I closed the door in his face.

I felt my body slide down the door.  I felt so lost.  I had everything.  A
career to die for, and fans who loved me.  And I had the love and lust of
two men that the entire world went crazy over.  But I'm not happy.  How can
I be happy when I let myself fall in love with a man who is so careless
with my heart?  I don't know.  And I sure as hell don't want to find out.

But I do!  I wanna know what it's like to taste Nick, and lick him, and
bite him and suck him until I drink the hot milky while fluids that run
through his veins like wild fire.  I wanna be the one to trace his body and
I wanted to be the one, who was his first.  I wanted to touch him, and have
my fingers sink into him in ecstasy.  I wanted him to wrap his lips around
my hardened cock and slick it with his saliva before I rammed into him,
full force, but loving.  I wanted all those things.  I want all those
things.

But I'm too scared of being hurt again.

Someone once told me, you gotta get hurt to get healed.

The thing with Nick is, he told me that.
~~~~~
~Elisheva~
MrClean290@aol.com