Date: Sun, 04 Jun 2000 00:36:39 EDT
From: Sprout _ <bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com>
Subject: This Gift

	All right guys, this is my first story, and I'm not gonna be like
everyone else and say "Here goes nothing," cause, in all honesty, here goes
*everything*!  I'm kinda nervous as to the reactions I'm gonna get, partly
because the story is about 98*; a band not covered by many at Nifty. I hope
y'all like it. First off I have to thank two people who've done a lot of
persuading to get me to post, even if this isn't the story they thought I'd
post. They are Lucas (Because I Love You) and D (Brian and Me). Both of
them are great friends of mine, and very talented authors, so if I were
you, I'd check out their stories.  I assure you, you won't be
disappointed. Lucas, I can never express just how thankful I am that you
have walked into my life. You've been great for me, and I hope that I can
continue to be a great part of you. D, what can I say?  You're such a
smart-ass, just don't stop.

	Matt, I owe you lots. You've been there for me these past couple of
weeks of discovery that have been very trying for me. Thankfully you
understand what I'm going through. Lots of love to you. (D, you're included
in that package)

	An honourable mention needs to go out to a couple of friends of
mine who've supported me with my 'ball-growing' process to get my story out
there for y'all to read. These people are Adam and Zach, and Missy you know
who you you guys, (and girl) are. (See Zach, I'm a man of my word!)

	The positive feedback from my last instalment has persuaded me to
continue my little world of fantasy. I hope y'all enjoy this, and I hope
this instalment is better than the last.

	I'm dying to hear from y'all, so let me know what you think of my
first attempt. I wanna hear it all, good and bad, so leave me a message at
bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com. Thanks.

	Now I gotta tell you that I don't know anything when it comes to
the personal lives of the guys of 98*. As much as I'd love for one of 'em,
or two, or three, or all four of 'em to be gay, odds are, they probably
aren't. Too bad, eh? Drew's pretty hot. :) So, what I'm saying is this is
COMPLETELY fiction.  That means not true for the slow ones out there.

	Now if you're not supposed to read this, because you're too young,
or you're not allowed in the area you inhabit, please don't. If you do, and
you're not supposed to, do us both a favour, and don't get caught. But I
still gotta say; do NOT read this if you're not allowed. Got it? Thought
so. Who would've thought that with only one chapter posted I'd have so much
to say? I hope I didn't bore y'all so much, on to chapter 2.

*******THIS GIFT -- Chapter 2********

	The sun's rays peering through my blinds, shining on my face, was
all I needed to awake from my slumber. I opened my eyes slowly, taking
notice there was someone's head cuddled in the crook of my neck. I looked
down and it all came back, last night wasn't a dream, Drew was here, I had
met 98 Degrees.

	Drew was cuddled close to me, one of his hands placed over my heart
on my chest. It was a cute sight, to see us so close. Never would I have
thought I'd be sharing a bed with Drew Lachey! I was glad I'd be the only
one to see this, it just made it all the more special.

	As much as I wanted to stay in bed all day with him, we all know I
couldn't. It felt right being with him, but that's what scared me. I never
felt this way towards a guy before, girls always had my undivided
attention. As much as I loved girls, no one could have made me feel as good
as Drew was at this moment.

	Reluctantly, I squirmed my way out of bed. Not only did I hear the
sounds of nature calling, but I needed to get my glass of orange juice
before I entered bitch mode. As I left Drew's side, he let out a contented
sigh, and grabbed my pillow to take my place, all without waking up. Damn,
he was adorable.

	I walked into my bathroom to relieve myself, and to make myself
look good in front of the guys. I grabbed my razor and quickly shaved the
stubble growing on my face. I always personally cursed the man who invented
facial hair, I hated it!

	After spending half an hour in the bathroom, I made my way to the
kitchen to get my o.j. Crossing my room to get to the kitchen was something
I couldn't wait to do; I was really starting to love looking at Drew when
he slept. He was beautiful when he was awake, but amazing while he was
asleep; hidden from all stresses that cause wrinkles.

	This time was not unlike the others. He was there; sleeping with
his killer smile plastered on his face. His bed head had to be the cutest
thing I've seen since Tickle Me Elmo. The cutest of all, he was drooling on
my pillow!  I always thought that I was the only one who drooled, and
thought it disgusting.  When he did it, DAMN! It was sexy!

	Finally, after prying myself out of my room, I finally made it into
the kitchen. I really didn't need my o.j. anymore, Drew was enough to
sweeten me up, even without being awake. Justin was in the kitchen eating
something when I walked it. What he was eating, I couldn't tell you, I
hadn't been shopping in over a week.

	"I hope you don't mind, I kinda made myself at home." Justin said
looking up from his bowl of food.

	"No, no, I don't mind at all." Frankly I was just glad he could be
himself in my house. It was a good sign they were accepting me.

	Just then Nick walked into the kitchen, happy as ever. I never
quite understood how anyone could be so chipper in the morning. "How's my
lil bro doing?"

	"Um, alright I guess." I replied, confused. 'Why is he asking me
this?' I thought.

	"So...where did you sleep last night?" He just wasn't going to let
this go, he was enjoying torturing me.

	I started to blush, "In my room..." I trailed off and noticed the
smile on both Justin and Nick's faces increase a couple of notches. "Don't
even think that! Nothing happened!"

	"Drew, chill! Don't worry, we know nothing happened, we would've
heard it." I let out a sigh, knowing he had a point, they knew nothing
happened.  "But, you know what I did see...." he trailed off knowing it was
gonna chew me up.

	"No....what did you see?" The uncertainty in my voice was so
obvious, if that didn't give away some kind of unnatural act, I don't know
what would.

	"Well, when I first woke up... I wanted to check on my brother, and
see if you found a place to sleep... well you did... and Drew was
fine... you know how I know?" He loved every second of this, and I made a
mental note to kill him later. Meanwhile, Justin was getting curious,
wondering just what Nick knew that he didn't.

	"Nick, come on, the suspense is killing me, tell us already!"
Justin exclaimed, putting his bowl in the sink.

	"Well... I opened the door...." I thought now was as good a time as
any to get my orange juice. At least this way I'd be able to hide my
reddening face in the fridge for a bit. "I saw the cutest sight," he
continued, "my baby bro, cuddling up with Drew!"

	Justin couldn't fake surprise any better than you could light a wet
match, "Yeah right!" Obviously he saw part of the little spectacle that
Drew had put on for them. I had no part in it really, I was just sleeping
in my bed, *he* was the one who cuddled against me.

	"I thought that it was such a Kodak moment, I decided to take a
picture."  The sarcasm in their voices was extremely annoying. You could
tell this little conversation was a badly rehearsed skit they thought of
before I showed up.


	Nick's last sentence finally registered in my head, and I had a
double take, "You what?" The nervousness, fear, uncertainty, and terror I
felt were well displayed through those two words. It was all just too much
for me, as much as I wanted a picture to show myself one of the best
moments of my life; it was the first real-live proof that I had enjoyed
something outside the straight boundaries. And it scared me. It was all
still new to me, and I really didn't know how to cope. With their little
dumb skit, Nick and Justin were able to turn my morning upside down, and
reduce me to tears.

	Embarrassed that they were staring at me, with tears streaming down
my face, I made my exit, heading to the back porch. Every time I needed to
think, the back porch was where I'd go. I'd just sit on the rocking chair,
and rock back and forth, admiring the beauty of nature in my backyard. The
rustling of the leaves as the wind blew through the trees was always a
relaxing sound I welcomed when stress became too much to handle.

	I was glad neither of them followed me, I guess they figured they
had done enough damage for the day, so they left me be. It gave me time to
think, more or less to just relax my body. Rocking back and forth and
taking deep breaths, I slowly calmed down enough to stop crying. I couldn't
help but feel afraid, I mean, here I was, a straight guy, in a house with
four really hot and talented guys, slept with one of them, enjoyed it, and
then have his brother take a picture of that special moment I thought only
Drew and I would've shared.  And now, worst of all, my little show of
weakness probably made them think I was gay, which I wasn't, was I?

	I sat out there on the porch for a good half an hour, before I felt
someone's hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently. That touch was just
magical, it made all my worries go away, knowing one of them cared. I was
afraid to turn around and see which one it was, but I had to know. It took
every ounce of courage in my being to look over my shoulder, up into Jeff's
eyes. Somehow I knew it'd be him, he just seemed like the sweetheart of the
group, always looking out for the others.

	As I looked into his eyes, the tears started flow again, I don't
really know why, they just did. I lifted my hand to wipe them away when
Jeff stopped me, "No, let 'em fall. You gotta let it out sometime." He had
a point, and I wasn't gonna argue with him. He pulled one of the folding
chairs on the porch up in front of my rocking chair, and just sat there
looking at me for a while.  The silence was comfortable, and just knowing
he wasn't disgusted in me was enough to reassure me that everything was
fine in his eyes. He had obviously heard the story from Nick and Justin, if
he knew I was out here. "Well?" he asked.

	"Well what?" I didn't know what he was trying to imply.

	"Well, what's on your mind...what's got you so upset?"

	I let out a sigh, finally realising what he was talking about. I
wasn't sure if I wanted to go though all this with him, I barely knew him,
could I trust him? After a minute or two of contemplation, I finally
decided I had to tell him, as for trust, well, they'd be gone soon anyways,
so if he wanted to tell someone, what would I be able to do?

	"Jeff, I'm confused."

	"About what?"

	"Well, my entire life so far, I've always wanted girls, they were
the ones who always had my attention, they were the ones I crushed, and I
never once thought of thinking anything outside of the 'straight circle.'"

	He nodded, showing his understanding, "And then Drew comes into the
picture and turns it all around?"

	I was amazed at how he hit the nail right on the head; but then
again, he seemed to be the one to understand me so why wouldn't he be the
one to get it?  "Yeah," I said so low I thought he wouldn't have heard
me. "But I don't know what to feel though, I don't want to like him if he's
not going to like me back."

	"But that's for him to decide, that's for you two to work out. I
don't know if he's...like that, but you never know. And I'm with anything
that'll keep him happy, I know the guys will too. Nick already likes you,
so I don't see a problem there. And by the way he was advertising how cute
you two looked together in the bed, I'm sure he's already hoping you two
will get together.  You just have to live for yourself, not anyone else."

	"I know...it's just hard. I'm afraid of what the others will say. I
don't care what they think of me, I'm just worried about what it could do
to Drew, and to you guys if anyone were to find out that we were
together...if we did get together."

	"Leave that for us to worry about if the time comes. Live for the
present, not the future, take one day at a time. We all have worries when
it comes to the future, but if it's supposed to happen, it will, whether
we're prepared for it or not." Jeff's words not only entered my ears, but
also left a mark in my heart.

	"Jeff, you're a great friend. You don't know how much you just
helped me in the ten minutes we've been havin' this talk. I owe you
one. How could I ever repay you?"

	"If you want to make it up to me, you could go and wake up
Drew. We're going out for breakfast, there's nothing here. Don't you ever
go shopping?  So, we're gonna go out for breakfast, go grocery shopping,
and then chill for a bit, if it's okay with you."

	I just nodded my head and we both rose, turning back into the
house. I had to walk back through the kitchen to get to my room. The layout
of the house was kinda funny; you always had to walk through one room to
get to another. Nick and Justin were sitting there at the table quietly,
afraid to even look at me. I went up behind Justin, and put my hands on his
shoulders, "I'm fine, just got a little emotional there. I'll tell you guys
'bout it after I talk to Drew."

	"We're sorry Drew. You know that right?" Nick's voice showed such a
genuine concern that it almost melted my heart. Almost, I was still kinda
upset, though I knew that little skit was only a joke.

	"Nick, don't worry. It's all good. Let me just go wake up Drew, and
then we'll go for breakfast, alright?"

	They both nodded their heads, still not wanting to say anything;
afraid they'd make things worse. I walked up the stairs and slowly made my
way to my room. I wasn't quite sure if I was ready to look at Drew again,
after all that happened this morning. It wasn't really much, but it still
affected me enough to have doubts. I turned the handle to the door of my
bedroom, my hand trembling.  It was my own room, and I was afraid to open
the door. 'Get a grip on yourself!  It's not that hard, turn the handle,
push the door.' I needed to give myself a mental lesson on how to open a
door. The butterflies in my stomach were enough to get all my thoughts
jumbled.

	Finally I managed to open the door, and there he was, still lying
in the same place he had been when I had left him. Still clutching onto my
pillow like it was a security blanket. I walked over to the bed slowly, and
sat on the edge.  He left just enough room for me to fit both cheeks (you
know which ones) on the mattress, leaving all the empty space between him
and the wall. Thankfully he didn't have a nightmare, or he'd have thrown
himself off of the bed.

	I just sat there for a moment, debating on whether or not I should
wake him from his problem free world. As much as I didn't want to wake him,
I knew I had to, my tummy was grumbling and I was starved. I'm sure Nick
and Jeff were too. I reached my hand out ever so slowly, and placed it on
his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Drew, come on, we gotta go eat." He
grumbled some inaudible reply, making me shake him with a little more
urgency. "Come on Drew, wake up."

	His eyes fluttered open, taking time to adjust to the sudden light,
and realise whom was actually sitting in front of him. "Andrew?" he asked,
almost in disbelief.

	"Yeah, it's me, but please don't call me Andrew."

	"You don't like it either?" a small smile creeping upon his
lips. His voice was still a little hoarse from not being used all night; it
was deep and damn sexy. (Alright, everything about him is sexy to me, OK?)

	I shook my head, "Nope, never really did, it was too long."

	"So, what do you like instead, Drew, or Andy?"

	I cringed hearing the second name. I've always hated that name,
Andy. I really don't know why, it was just something I established early on
in my life.  Even my kindergarten teachers didn't get away with it, as much
as they tried.  "Drew. Just like you."

	He just nodded, as he started to climb out of the bed. I giggled
looking at his hair, it was all ruffled, giving him the adorable 'I just
got out of bed' look. "What?" he asked wondering what was so funny.

	"Nothing." I really didn't want to embarrass him or anything, so I
was going to let it go unsaid.

	"You're not getting away with it that easily, spill the beans." I
still wouldn't open my mouth to say so much as a word. The determination to
get it out of me got the best of him, and he started to tickle me on the
bed, trying to wrestle to words out. It wasn't really a good sight, him
straddling me, and me screaming 'Stop! Stop! That tickles!'

	My cries were heard from the kitchen, and the guys came up to see
what it was. I noticed all three of them standing in the doorframe, smiles
prominent on their faces. Jeff just winked at me, and ushered the guys back
downstairs.  "Are ya gonna tell me?" he asked, pausing to let me breathe
for a second. I shook my head, and he began to tickle me again.

	There's only so much tickling you can take before you'll have to go
pee, and I was getting close to that point, "Alright, alright, I'll tell
you!"

	"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow and relaxed a bit, allowing me to
catch a breath.

	"Really." I sighed. "I was giggling because...well have you looked
in the mirror yet? You're hair is just doing the cutest thing I've ever
seen!" As soon as the words were out of my mouth I started to blush, I
didn't know how he would take it.

	"Aww, look at the pretty shade of red he turns." Drew said in a
child-like tone, making me turn the volume of redness up a bit. "Ooh, even
cuter!"

	'What?! Did Drew just call me cute? Boy have I got to get my
hearing checked. I could've sworn I heard him say that.' I was lost in
thought for a second and didn't realise the word "What?" slipped off my
tongue.

	"I said you're cute when you're red." I was just as shocked when he
said it the second time around. He had to have noticed; his next comment
confirmed it. "Don't be so surprised, it's not like you don't know you're
cute when you blush."

	"Well...I haven't really noticed it. I don't exactly look in the
mirror when I blush you know."  He laughed the cutest little laugh before
he excused himself to use the shower. He was so preoccupied in getting in
done that he forgot to grab a towel, so I thought I'd be ever so kind to do
it for him.  I walked over to the linen closet, pulled out a towel, a nice
blue one, our favourite colour, and walked into the bathroom. It was just
too bad the steam from the water had fogged up the shower doors.

	"Drew. I'm leaving you a towel here on the hook outside the shower
door...." Just then he opened the shower door a crack and stuck his head
out. No matter what the situation, this boy always made me get hot
flashes. He looked adorable with the water running from his hair down his
face.

	"Whatcha say?"

	"I was just saying, here's your towel. And you can use whatever you
want.  I don't mind sharing." He just nodded his head and closed to door to
finish showering. It took a lot of nerve to just walk out of that bathroom
without jumping him. After I handed him the towel, I made my bed and
returned to the guys waiting in the kitchen. I walked in, looking at the
floor to avoid their stares, but could feel their eyes burning holes in
me. "What?" I asked nonchalantly.

	"Nothing." They reply came from all three of them in unison.

	"Guys...I can tell it's something, what is it?"

	"We just couldn't help but notice certain two people with the same
name that were getting it on in the bedroom..." Justin started, but I
quickly cut him off.

	"Justin, we were not getting it on...just because I like him...a
bit...yeah...um...anyways, that doesn't mean we were getting it on." I
figured, 'Hey, fuck it, they're gonna find out anyways, and Jeff knows, why
not?' "As much as I'd love to be getting it on with Drew, it ain't
happening. Hell I don't even know if he's like that...but he's damn cute!"

	I hadn't noticed, but Drew was standing right behind me, Nick as
always was going to get the most out of the situation. "So Drew, is that
all you think of him?"

	"Nope. He's amazing. He's got the most adorable face when he
sleeps, amazing eyes, a sexy voice, a killer smile...he's just the most
beautiful guy I know. He'd definitely make number 1 on my top 10 most
beautiful people!"

	"Really?" his voice came from behind me. I had to have turned five
shades of red before I said anything.

	"How much did you hear?"

	"Enough."

	"How much is enough?"

	"All of it." He said with a smile. "I thought it was sweet."

	There was a round of "Aww's" coming from the other guys, making
both of us blush. "Well don't let it get to your head!" I knew it was a
dumb thing to say, but it was out of my mouth before I even knew it.

	We made our way out to my van. Now I know you're probably asking
why I had a van if I took the taxi to work. Well, the damn bastards
wouldn't give me a parking space in the employee section. Like hell I was
gonna pay over $50 in parking each time I worked! So I left the van at
home. I got in the driver's seat and Drew called shotgun, big surprise, eh?
The rest of the hooligans climbed in the back.

	We made our way to a nice little restaurant; some of you might know
the name, McDonalds. Yeah, we decided it'd be the best place to go, since
it was all we could agree on. I always hated McDonalds; I've had too many
little episodes there to actually want to eat their food. The guys seemed
pretty excited about it; I heard them saying something about not eating
McDonalds in over a year.  It's not like they were missing out on anything
extraordinary.

	Drew leaned forward and pressed the play button on my CD player. I
blushed when I realised the CD in the player was the BackStreet
Boys. "Guys, looks like we got some competition. And it looks like I gotta
try harder to pry this boy's attention away from others." Drew said
noticing the blush on my face.

	'K, this boy's definitely into you. He's giving you mad hints!' I
smiled at the thought, which didn't go unnoticed by Drew. Apparently he'd
been staring at me the whole time. "Whatcha smilin' for?"

	"Nothing, just a joke someone told me." I know it was a lame cover
up, but hey, who said I was creative?

	"What was it?"

	I was pressed for time and came up with the lamest joke a friend
had told me at work. "If Jack helped you on the horse, would you help Jack
off the horse?"

	Drew gave me a confused look. "Yeah, why wouldn't I? If he helped
me, I should help him." He didn't get it. I could tell by the laugher
arising from the back seat that the others weren't as slow as my cutie in
the front. "What's so funny?" he asked, glancing at the guys in the back.

	"Drew, think about it. If Jack helped you off the horse, would you
help *jack-off* the horse?" It took some time for the whole question to
process through Drew's head before he turned red.

	"Oh," was all he could manage to say.

	"You know...I was thinking, two Drews, that's gonna get confusing
sometimes." Jeff explained.

	"True." Nick added.

	"So, which one of y'all wanna be called D?"

	"I'm known universally as Drew, so I ain't changing, sorry Drew."
Drew said looking at me apologetically.

	"It's all good. I know a guy named D, a real smart-ass too, so I
guess I can stick with it. Besides, some of my friends used to call me that
in emails, they were too lazy to write Drew out in full."

	"Cool, so D, we almost there yet?" Justin asked.

	I smiled as he used my 'new' name. "Yeah, just around the
corner. But how can you be so hungry, you ate at the house."

	"Hey, I'm a growing man! What can I say?"

	"More like a kid at heart!" Drew threw at him, followed by his
adorable laugh. The rest of the ride was quiet; it was only another two
minutes anyways.  It's not like we needed the conversation; we had a lot of
time left. 'Shit, when do the guys leave? I know their plane was cancelled,
but when did Nick reschedule for?' I thought to myself.

	As we were getting out of the van, I decided to make my thoughts
known.  "Nick, not that I want y'all to go, but when do you have to go back
to the airport?"

	"I called management, they said that they could buy us some time,
so we have a week here. Which reminds me, now you have to tell me a good
hotel, we can't stay at your house a whole week."

	"Why not?" Drew asked.

	"Yeah, why not?" I added.

	"D, I just can't impose so much inconvenience on you so soon in our
friendship..." Nick tried to say, but I quickly cut him off.

	"Shut the fuck up! You know you aren't inconveniencing me, you're
just trying to be nice...come on, be a pal, I could use the company. You've
seen my house, I get all lonely." I said imitating a lonely child.

	With a sigh, he reluctantly agreed, causing Jeff and Drew to have
internal cries of victory. Jeff because he wanted to see something happen
with Drew and me, and Drew because he wanted to spend more time with
me. "Just don't get too used to us. After this week, we have to go, no
matter what."

	I pulled open the door to McDonalds and let the guys in before
me. Drew insisted he pay for my meal, since I was being nice enough to let
them stay at my house, though it somehow felt like a first date, only with
his 'brothers' there. It was a cute gesture nonetheless. We ordered our
food and took our trays to our seats. I knew Drew would sit beside me, but
he made it seem like he had no other choice. He waited for the guys to sit
down, all of who conveniently left the only open space beside me, not that
I was going to complain.

	We began to eat our breakfast when out of the blue Drew turns to
me, "Oh, D, I used your toothbrush." The look on my face must've been
priceless, from the giggles the guys were giving looking at me, I knew it
had to have been funny.  "What? You said I could use anything." It was just
something else, for Drew to think that he crossed the line or something.

	"It's fine. I just wasn't expecting you to use my toothbrush. I was
expecting more like my brush or something, which by the way I can tell you
didn't use." I said grabbing his cap and pulling it off his head.

	He kinda blushed, "Stop it, you embarrassin' me!" he said grabbing
for his cap. I gave it to him no problem, just flashing him a quick "I
think it's cute" look. I knew he'd understand, he just smiled and put the
cap on the table.  'Bingo, he's whipped!' I thought to myself.

	I wasn't as hungry as my stomach was saying, so I didn't finish my
food.  In a way, it was good, Drew didn't have to go back and order
more. He just ate off my tray, finishing up my food. 'Gee, he uses my
toothbrush, he eats food I've bitten, drinks a drink I purposely
back-washed in, he's gotta be into you Drew.' Thinking about the
back-washing part made me start to laugh. I just had to tell someone, so I
leaned over and whispered it into Jeff's ear.

	"You didn't!" he actually couldn't believe I'd do it.

	"I did, you wanna see for yourself?"

	He just shook his head. "Nope, it's alright."

	Nick's curiosity couldn't be held in, so he asked what we were
talking about. I didn't expect Jeff to just blurt it out, but he did. "D
back-washed in his drink, and now Drew's drinking it!"

	All their eyes shot open. Justin was in the middle of taking a sip
of his drink, which he conveniently spit all over me. Drew on the other
hand just shrugged his shoulders, "Oh well, I've used his toothbrush, it
ain't like his saliva is foreign territory in my mouth now." The other guys
were as shocked as I was to hear him say that. Nick was having difficulties
keeping his jaw from hanging open, and Jeff couldn't stop laughing.

	We all waited for Drew to finish his, well, my breakfast. Figuring
the best thing to do would be to leave before the rush came and the guys
would be noticed, we abandoned the place and headed for the local grocery
store. I tried to assure them that I would go shopping on my own, but since
they were staying a week, they wanted to have some say in what was being
brought into the house.

	Shopping with the guys was one of my worst experiences. I felt like
I was the teacher of a pre-school class on a field trip in a toy
store. Everything they saw, they wanted. We started noticing more people
starting to look our way, and the guys took that as their cue to
leave. "We'll be in the van if you need us." Justin explained as the others
made a mad-dash for the exit. If they hadn't been so old, I would've
presumed they were jackin' something from the store.

	I've never spent so much time in the grocery store in my life. It
had been over an hour, the most I've spent in there was 20 minutes. I
gradually made my way to the checkout, picking some things up on the way. I
decided to wait the extra five minutes, and stand in the crowded line, just
so my friend could serve me. I really needed to talk to her.

	Taking things out of the cart and placing them on the conveyor
belt, I began my conversation with Martha. "Damn girl, where've ya been? I
haven't heard from ya in a while, hiding?"

	"Nope. Just working my ass off. Can you believe they won't even let
me take a couple of days off?"

	"Oh, I believe it. Timmy's wouldn't even let me have my birthday
off.  Kinda sucked, but it was well worth it."

	Martha looked at me like I was ill, "How is working on your
birthday worth it?"

	I just smiled. I knew I could trust her. "Did you see that group of
guys I walked in with?"

	She just nodded, egging me to go on.

	"Well, do you know who they are?"

	She shook her head no. Whenever I had something to say, she always
refrained from using words. It made her feel like she was bringing herself
into the attention circle, something she hated to do.

	"Martha, think about it...I always listen to theiir music...I sing
their songs in class..." She still wasn't getting it. "Martha...98 Degrees!"

	The realisation hit her like a bullet and she started
squealing. "Oh my God! Yeah right! I knew I saw him somewhere before!"

	I just smiled, waiting for her to calm down. When she finally did,
she asked me a question that completely took me for a loop. "So, which one
are you with?"

	"What?" I was confused and defensive all at the same time.

	"You heard me," her smile grew, "which one are you with?"

	"Martha!" I feigned shock. "I'm not with any of 'em."

	"Alright then, which one is it that's got you so hung up?"

	I smiled, she just knew me too damn well. "Drew," I said in a
whisper, blushing while I said it.

	"Ooh, he's the cute one right?" You had to love her, she always
made a joke out of everything, no matter how serious it was.

	"That's kinda a dumb question to ask me. Of course I'm gonna say
'yeah'!"

	"Just checking. So, is he...you know? Wait, you're not even like
that...this boy must be something!"

	"Oh, he is! And I don't know if he's like that, but he's been
droppin' me hints. Then again, it might be nothing; you know how I always
misinterpret these kinda things."

	"True. Just don't go fast, take things slow. Be subtle. If it's
meant to happen, it will. Just remember I love ya!"

	"Will do." With that I paid her and carried the groceries out to
the van.  I opened the back of the van up with my keys and placed them
inside. Looking over the seats, I saw the guys, none of them
moving. 'What's with them?' I asked myself. Reaching the drivers seat I
realised exactly what. They were all asleep again. 'Fuckin' babies.' I
thought with a smile. I got in, buckled up and started the van, en route to
my humble abode.

	Reaching my house, I opened the trunk of the van (if that's what
you call it) and grabbed the groceries. I left the guys there, if they
wanted to sleep, they shouldn't have waken up so early. Besides, I wanted
Nick to get a cramp in his neck, which from the position he was sleeping in
would definitely cause one, because of what he had done earlier. Jeff
looked comfortable, so there was no use disturbing him, Justin was just
knocked out cold, snoring like crazy.  And then there was Drew, just the
same old adorable Drew that was sleeping in my bed no longer than three
hours ago. I didn't have the heart to wake him, so I just grabbed my
groceries and walked into my house, leaving the door unlocked in case they
woke up.

	I placed the groceries where they belonged, you know the fridge,
the cupboards, and the pantry, then made my way to the living room. I
decided to settle for some TV while the guys slept. It wasn't long before
my eyelids were heavy themselves, leaving me falling into a catnap.

	I awoke a couple of hours later. Nothing had changed except for the
fact that Drew was in the living room sitting on one of the recliners and
watching TV. I don't know how long he was sitting there, but my guess was
he wasn't watching the TV the whole time. The way he was positioned made
his line of sight more focused on my sleeping figure than the TV. I wasn't
about to complain.  A hot guy, looking at me? What's to complain about?

	I sat up on the couch, stretching my arms to the ceiling to pull
out the kinks my body had acquired while I was asleep. "Whatcha doing?" I
asked with a raspy voice.

	"Just watchin' TV."

	"What's on?"

	It became crystal clear he wasn't really watching the TV when he
couldn't answer me that question. He shrugged his shoulders, and tried to
get out of it by saying, "Just a show."

	I nodded my head, not wanting to press the issue, what good would
it have done to embarrass him. Sure I love to see him blush and all, but I
didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. "Alright. So how long were
y'all in the van?" I laughed thinking back to me leaving them there.

	"A while. You bastard, you just left us there. The other three are
still there!"

	I just laughed. "I had my reasons why I didn't wake y'all. There's
a little devil inside me that you don't quite know just yet."

	"Well, I'm hoping I get to know all the little demons you have
hidden in there," he said with a slight smirk.

	"Give it time, you'll see 'em."

	Just then Jeff and Nick decided to walk in from the van, Nick
rubbing his neck. "Damn, D, why didn't you wake us up man?"

	"Aww, does the wittle baby have a hurting neck?" I asked as if I
were talking to baby.

	"Just a bit."

	"That's whatcha get for this morning. We're even now."

	"We're far from even...you'll get yours, right Jeff?" For some
reason, Nick just couldn't let anything lie. He always had to go the extra
step, but that was something I was beginning to like about him. He'd be the
one to keep me on my toes.

	"So, we gonna watch a movie or what? What's on pay-per-view?" Jeff
asked, taking a seat on the sofa.

	"I dunno, check the guide." I suggested. "I'm gonna go get some
drinks and snacks, any requests?"

	"You know me, any junk food will do." Drew stated matter of factly.

	"Can we get pizza?" Justin said while he walked in, still half
asleep.

	The other guys voice their agreement, and pretty soon I was on the
telephone, ordering pizza for their sorry asses. After doing that, I
brought in a Pepsi for myself, (thinking they'd be able to get their own if
they wanted one, after all I did just order their pizza) and a bag of
Doritos. I plopped down on the couch, taking note that Drew and Jeff had
switched places. I placed the Pepsi on the coffee table, and opened the bag
of Doritos. "So, what movie are we gonna watch?"

	"All we could agree on was Urban Legend, hope it's alright." Justin
yawned.

	"Yeah, sure. You gonna stay awake there?" I laughed. He just
shrugged his shoulders. I could tell that was gonna be a battle he was
going to lose. The movie didn't start for another half an hour so we just
chilled for a bit, talking and passing the time. I didn't get one sip of my
Pepsi, Drew had claimed it his own. He was ever so kind to offer me a sip
or two if I wanted them. I wasn't as hungry as I thought, yet again, and
wound up closing the bag of chips I had opened. I just wasn't in the mood
for 'em.

	Just then, the doorbell rang, and assuming it was the pizza man,
Jeff went to answer the door. I was wondering what was taking Jeff so long
to come back, when finally he walked in with Martha, my friend from the
grocery store.  Martha's smile couldn't have been bigger, Jeff just
happened to be her favourite. They walked in, Jeff's arms around Martha's
shoulders. "Guys, sorry, it wasn't the pizza man, but...it was someone much
cuter!"

	"Who?" Justin, Nick, and Drew said almost at the same time.

	"Drew's friend, Martha." They just mumbled their hellos, and turned
back to the TV. A bunch of couch potatoes. Martha and Jeff sat down on the
love seat, and glancing at Martha, I could tell she was in heaven. "We
ordered pizza if you're hungry," Jeff explained to her.

	Martha, being the flirt she is, "I'm not that hungry, maybe I'll
just steal a bit from you." She turned up her flirtatious smile, and I knew
it was going to be a long night.

	Again the doorbell rang, and we knew for sure this time it was the
pizza man. With Jeff being preoccupied now, Nick was the one who went to
answer the door. Judging by the screams, the pizza man, wasn't a pizza man,
but a pizza girl. Instead of taking five minutes to get the pizza, it took
Nick a whole 20 minutes. He came back explaining how she wouldn't let him
pay for the pizza, and how he needed to compromise with her; he'd give her
an autograph if she's let him pay for the pizza. Obviously the girl agreed,
smart girl. She'd have got in trouble had Nick not paid, unless she was
gonna pay for it herself.

	Nick brought the pizzas in and set them down on the coffee table. I
had ordered each one of 'em their own pizza. I figured they'd be hungry
enough to eat them all, and they wouldn't complain that way. Even though
they were full- grown men, they still acted like children. Even with the
separate pizzas, they still managed to argue.

	"Hey, no fair, Justin's pizza has more pepperoni!" Drew whined.

	"Oh, give it a break. It's a pizza!" I said, rolling my
eyes. "Look, you have more cheese!" I said pointing to his pizza.

	He looked from his pizza to Justin's and after a minute or two of
comparison, he smiled, content with my analysis. I let out a little laugh,
and glanced over towards Jeff and Martha, as they whispered to each other.
'That's cute. I think they'd make a good couple.' I thought to myself.

	"They'd make a good couple." Drew whispered in my ear. I just
looked at him with shock, wondering if he was able to read my mind or
something.  "What?"  he asked, noticing my facial expression.

	"That's just what I was thinking, it kinda scared me, that's all" I
explained. We shared a look, smiled at each other, and then he went back to
eating his pizza. The movie was starting in a couple of minutes, so I made
myself comfortable. Since both Drew and I had the couch, I made him sit at
the end, while I placed a throw pillow in his lap and rested my head there,
while sprawling across the rest of cushions.

	I was a little uncomfortable at first, not knowing how Drew would
react. I mean, this was the first time we were both spending time together
at such a close degree. He sensed my discomfort, and reassured me by
pulling my face so that I was looking up at him, and mouthed the words
'it's fine.' It was amazing how even him just mouthing words, not even
pronouncing them fully made me at ease. This boy really was something.

	Nick shut off a couple of lights, leaving the living room in a
somewhat shadow effect, with the only light shining in from the
kitchen. The movie was just starting, and with the surround sound vibrating
the house, it gave a pretty damn scary effect. Nick made himself a little
spot on the floor in front of the couch, Justin took the recliner, and Jeff
and Martha had the loveseat. We were all ready for the movie to begin; not
the intro, the actual movie.

	Finally the opening credits were done, and the movie was
starting. I hadn't watched this movie in a long time, so I was really
looking forward to watching it, if I could keep my eyes open long
enough. By mid point of the movie, Nick was on the phone, talking with his
girlfriend, Jeff and Martha were making out, Justin was hypnotised by the
movie, I was asleep in Drew's lap, and Drew's attention was in between the
movie, and my hair. I relished the feeling of Drew's hands running through
my hair, even though I was asleep, I still could feel him doing it; it made
me feel safe and secure, like nothing could harm me.

	I hadn't even realised what was happening until I was placed gently
on my bed. Drew had carried me. My guess was the movie was over, though I
couldn't know for sure. I just lay there, as he started to take off my
socks, and pants.  I was just mesmerised by his sweet gestures. He pulled
down the comforter for me while I slipped underneath. "Andrew, where do I
sleep?" he whispered in my ear.

	Without even saying a word, I just pulled back the comforter on the
other side of me. "You sure?" he said in a low tone. Why he was whispering
was beyond me, but I think it was cause he thought that if he spoke louder,
he'd wake me up. I just nodded my head, and he took his socks off and
changed from his khakis to some sports pants. I was way too tired to take
notice of what kind they were.

	He crawled in beside me, and cuddled kind of close to
me. Everything was fine until he started to kiss the back of my neck,
slowly making his way around to my mouth. At first I was all for it, I
liked it, I wanted it, thoughts started to cloud my mind, and I became
cold. I closed up. "What are you doing?  Don't touch me!" I screamed while
jumping out of bed.

	"What?" was all he could manage to get out. His face showed
heartbreak all too clearly, and even though part of me wanted to reach out
and make him all better, there was a bigger part of me that didn't. Tears
started to stream down his cheeks, which made me avert my stare. I couldn't
look at him like that, there was too much hatred in my eyes at the moment.

	"I can't. I'm not like that!" was all I could say before I left the
room.  I didn't know where else to go, so I went to my spot on the porch in
the back yard; my rocking chair. I just sat there, rocking back and forth,
looking out into the darkness. Eventually I fell asleep, still rocking back
and forth, freezing my ass off.

	No one but Drew knew I where I was. I heard him come and check last
night while I was rocking. He opened the door, and after he saw I was safe
in my backyard, he left me to be alone. I still couldn't look him in the
face.  More so now because I had hurt him, not because I was convincing
myself I was not gay.  In my head that night, I came to accept the fact
that I was attracted to guys, I didn't know if I was gay, but I was willing
to accept bi for the time being.

	Sometime during the morning, Drew came out and covered me up. It
was a lot colder than I would've liked, but my stubbornness wouldn't let me
give in and go inside. Drew was still so hurt he couldn't look at me. I
pretended to be asleep the whole time, just to see how he'd react. He
tucked me into my rocking chair, and then, after a long time of just
standing there, debating something mentally, he leaned down and kissed my
forehead. Even still, it wasn't a real kiss, it was a scared kiss. It kinda
felt like he was forced to do it, even though I knew it was of his own
volition.

   I felt bad, I hurt inside. From the touch of Drew's lips on my forehead,
I knew I had made a mistake. I shouldn't have reacted that way. Sure I was
confused, but to hurt Drew the way I did, it just wasn't right. Not long
after he covered me up and left, I got up. I knew what I had to do. I went
into the kitchen and picked up a pen and grabbed the pad of paper that I
left beside the phone. Quickly, I wrote down the letter before I lost my
nerve:

	"Guys. I had to go out. There's Someone I have to go talk to. I
need to apologise to someone for something I've done, and the only way to
do that is to straighten things out with this one Person first. I shouldn't
be too long, and if I am, make yourselves at home. Drew, you better take
care of my place while I'm gone, I don't want these hooligans messin' it
up. Much love, D"

	I grabbed my jacket, it was a chilly day, and headed out the
door. I vetoed the idea of taking the van, the church was only a short walk
away. I was a little nervous about going, I hadn't been to church in a
while, and this time I'd be going to talk to God about something I needed
to straighten out.  Something I knew the church condemned, and something I
was sure how He'd take.

	I trudged my feet up the big cement step that led to the huge
wooden doors. Standing just outside the doors, I waited. 'Now's the time to
turn around a leave if you don't want to go through with it...NO, you ARE
going to go through with this, if not for your sake, for Drew's'

	I slowly walked into the empty church, making my way down to the
place where they kept the candles. I dropped my donation into the little
box, and grabbed a lighting stick. I chose a candle all the way in the
corner, far from all the others that were lit. While I lit it, I said a
little prayer, asking God to listen to me while I talked to Him, as soon as
I was done lighting the candle.

	I took a deep breath and walked over to one of the pews so I could
kneel.  With a sigh, I began. "God, I really don't know how to begin
this. I don't know what You're gonna think of me after this, but I have to
tell You. You know, I always turn to You when I need something, or I'm
feeling bad, but You have to know that I do truly love You. I appreciate
everything good You do for me, and that's why I have to thank you right
now. You've led me something I only dreamed of into my life, and what do I
do. I hurt him.

	"I'm not used to having these feelings. I've always had feelings
for girls before, what everybody's always wanted for me. Last night he
tried to get a step closer, and I totally shunned him. I hurt him more than
I probably know. I'm so dumb, why do I do things like this? I like him, I
truly do. I think he likes me too, the way he does things with me, the way
he makes me feel safe, he just has to feel the same as me.

	"I know it's 'wrong' to like a guy, at least in the eyes of the
church. I really don't know what You think of it, because no matter what
happens, the church is basically You, or so they say. I know You only want
me to be happy, and I believe I'll be happy with him. God please, how do I
tell him I'm sorry and that I want to work something out?"

	I placed my face in my hands as the tears started to fall. Once
again, someone placed their hand on my shoulder. It wasn't Jeff, as strange
as it may sound, I knew Jeff's touch already. It wasn't the priest either,
these were young hands, and I knew who's hands they were. "You just did."

~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~

    Don't forget to write me, I'm always looking for some constructive
criticism. So let me know what y'all think. -- Sprout

bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com