Date: Sun, 30 Apr 2000 05:19:55 EDT
From: SLK2308888@aol.com
Subject: ~This I Promise You~ Chapter 4

	General Announcements~ Hey Everyone!  Love you peeps!  Email me at
SLK2308888@aol.com with the subject heading of ~This I Promise You~.  You
should know the legal stuff but if not, just read it off the previous
chapters (it's the same darn thing)! Till next time It's Gravy Baby!

	Any flames will be forced to listen to my ghetto fabulous self,
tryin to get da down low on the 411, shady bastard style!  Ya, that's
pretty bad!  = )~
	

This I Promise You
By Rick

Chapter 4: Romeo and Juliet


	"What are you doing here?" JC questioned, yawning the last vestiges
of sleep away.

	"I wanted to talk to you, about the other night." Justin stated
softly.

	"Listen Justin, I'm sorry for acting like that.  It's just kind of
weird seeing your best friend getting married," JC said, trying to smooth
over his hair that was sticking up.

	"Well . . . ummm what do you think it means?" Justin asked, looking
down at the beige carpet.

	"Well I don't know Justin.  I guess that's going to be up to you
and her isn't it?" JC questioned with a laugh.

	"Wait what do you mean HER?" Justin asked with confusion.

	"You know, you and Christina silly!  How strange is it to have the
same exact dream as you, what a trip!" JC responded.

	"But . . . but wait!  ME and Christina?" Justin sputtered with
confusion.

	"I know, how funny huh?  The press always putting you with Brit and
here it turns out that your dream girl is Christina!" JC exclaimed, putting
his arm around Justin.

	"That's not how it went and you know it!" Justin exclaimed,
shrugging off JC's arm with anger.

	"How did it go then Justin?" JC questioned nonchalantly.

	"You!  You . . . were there!" Justin stated with exasperation.

	"Oh I know Justin!  I would be honored to be your best man at your
wedding J, you know I'll be there for you!" JC said coolly.

	"Why are you doing this Josh?" Justin asked simply, on the verge of
tears.

	"I don't know what you're talking about Justin," JC stated with
confusion.

	"I guess you don't," Justin stated as he turned and walked out the
door.

	"Justin . . .." JC whispered, closing his eyes to the world for
what he had done.



	Justin burst through his room and slammed the door dejectedly.
	"Is this all in my head?" Justin questioned himself.  He closed his
eyes and plopped down on the bed.  "It was so real, so magical, so perfect,
so . . . so much in my dreams!" Justin thought, cringing with frustration.

	Here he was questioning JC's ulterior motives when he didn't even
know what he wanted out of this whole situation.  Up until now he would
have never questioned his sexuality and even at this moment he still wasn't
sure he was gay, but he had learned that love has no sexual preferences.
That it transcends into something above physical limitations.  Love isn't
about beauty or strength or popularity, beyond our perceived cultural
beliefs of desirability.

	Yet knowing this didn't help matters.  He knew that there would be
people who were narrow minded enough to judge him for who he was and not
who he loved.  He was scared of what the world would have to offer him but
he knew if JC was there by his side everything would turn out OK.
Everything always turned out OK if JC was there to guide him and be there
for him.  Was this all just a fabled dream?  Too perfect and romantic in a
world full of cynics and a lack of true self-respect for the importance of
sex and marriage?  He wanted it, but he knew JC would have to want it to.
Want this friendship to go above and beyond hugs and tokens of affection
taken at face value.

	Justin was willing to try, try and become more then Justin
Timberlake and Joshua Chasez, but as a couple; a single entity that thought
and acted as one through two willing hearts and souls.  Now Justin, struck
with the revelation of a deep and eternal love for JC, wanted more.  More
then promises of permanent friendship, more then promises to be there for
him.  He wanted the one promise that perpetuated a love so strong that
nothing in this world could tear it apart.



~-~-~-~-~-~-~-



	After signing a real live record contract with Lou Pearlman, who
would later seize his cash cow and milk it for all it's worth, two ecstatic
friends from the Mickey Mouse Club would make their way to some secluded
area behind Justin's backyard.  A still young and naive Justin was tugging
at the slightly older Joshua's arm toward his secret spot.  A spot
unbeknownst to anyone but him, yet for some reason he was willing to share
this perfect little paradise to his best friend.  It excited him terribly
to finally share something so wonderful to someone and he knew that JC
would appreciate the gesture.

	"Justin where are we going?" JC asked with a laugh.

	"Hold your horses Josh!  We're almost there just keep your eyes
closed for a little while longer!" Justin said excitedly, carefully leading
his friend across the dark entanglement of trees.

	"Justin, you know we're going to get in trouble if we don't get
back soon!  Our parents said to be back in an hour so we can go out to
celebrate," JC said with excitement, still in shock that they had made it,
that their dreams were finally coming true after all those years of hard
work.

	"Dude come on!  They'll wait for us, this is important. Please!"
Justin whined.

	"All right!  All right, you know I can't say NO when you do that!"
JC said with a chuckle.

	"Yes!" Justin squealed with delight and started walking again.  The
two walked silently until they reached a small clearing, pristine and
probably untouched by man or technology.

	"OK you can open your eyes JC!" Justin stated proudly.  JC opened
his eyes to an impressively sized tree that centered the small clearing.
The tree stood massively, showing off its sheer height and solidarity.

	"Oh wow!  Justin this is amazing!" JC exclaimed, walking around the
whole circumference of the tree.  The sun shone extremely bright on this
particular bit of perfection, making everything appear illumines and
surreal.

	"This is my secret little spot to get away from the world," Justin
explained.  The breeze softly caressed his face carrying with it the
fragrance from the strange flowers the tree had produced to intoxicate the
area with it's heavenly fragrance.

	"I can see why Just, it's incredible!" JC stated appreciatively.

	"Ya, for a long time no one knew about this place but me, now I'm
glad I could share my secret with you," Justin said with a sheepish smile.

	"Awww, Justin man I'm honored!  But why did you wait all this time
to tell someone?" Justin questioned.

	"I dunno," Justin shrugged, "I didn't think they would have
appreciated it, plus I just want this to be me and my best friend's secret
hang out.  If everyone knew it wouldn't be special anymore.  You know what
I mean?" Justin questioned.

	"I sure do kiddo, and I promise I won't tell a soul about this
place," JC said solemnly.

	"Thanks JC, I know I can count on you!" Justin said as he hugged
JC.  "Hey ummm . . . I was going to give you this tonight but I kind of
wanted to give it to you in private," Justin said shyly.

	"Justin, you don't have to buy me anything!" JC complained over the
extravagance.

	"No!  I wanted to!  You've been such a great friend to me.  I just
wanted to give you a little something to always remember me by," Justin
stated nervously, kicking the grass with the sole of his foot.  "I . . . I
hope you like it," Justin said, carefully reaching in his pocket and
pulling out two small wrapped gifts.  He handed them over to JC who smiled
at him widely.  JC could see the care Justin took to wrap them up.  "I know
they're not much but I picked it out and paid for it all by myself," Justin
said with a hint of pride.  "You . . . you can return it if you don't like
it, but I . . . I hope you do and stuff," Justin mumbled quickly.

	"Justin will you hush and let me open them!" JC stated jokingly.
He carefully opened up the wrapping paper, anxious at what lay inside.

	"I knew you wouldn't like them, we can just go to the mall and
return it tomorrow if you want to," Justin said dejectedly.

	"Justin stop it!  I love them!" JC exclaimed.  He held up the Swiss
army knife to the light to get a better look at it.

	"If you turn it around, I . . . I got your name engraved on it,"
Justin said sheepishly.

	"JC Chasez." JC read the inscription.  "Justin this is the most
thoughtful gift anyone's ever given to me!" JC exclaimed pulling Justin
into a long bear hug.

	"So you really like them?" Justin asked with relief.

	"I love them man!  Here can you help me put the necklace on?" JC
asked, kneeling in front of Justin.

	"I really didn't know if you'd like it.  It's a Leo pendant, you
know like your zodiac sign.  I figured it might get you good luck!" Justin
explained as he fastened the necklace on.

	"So what do you think?" JC asked standing up and turning around
with a flourish.

	"It suits you Josh.  It really does," Justin responded.

	"Well since it already brought you as my best friend then I'm sure
it's going to give me fantastic luck!" JC exclaimed.

	"Oh Josh!" Justin said as he rolled his eyes, "come on let's go
before they send the search party."

	"Wait up!  Well, I guess great minds think alike or something
because I got you a little something too," JC said sheepishly.  "Now I was
going to wait and give it to you on your birthday but I guess signing a
record deal is a pretty good cause for celebration, Huh?" JC said with that
silly grin of his that made Justin smile.

	"OK so what is it?" Justin asked excitedly.

	"Close your eyes," JC ordered.  Justin complied with his commands,
the anticipation killing him.  JC quietly took out the necklace he had
bought for him and placed it around his neck.

	"OK," JC whispered.  Justin opened his eyes and was almost blinded
by the brilliance coming off the metal.  He carefully lifted the medallion
closer to his face and saw the large JRT in big bold letters.

	"Josh this is too much!" Justin complained.

	"No it's not!" JC disagreed.  "I had a little money saved up and
besides if NSync hits it big we'll be rolling in money!" JC stated with a
laugh.

	"No one's ever given me something like this before," Justin said,
admiring it.  "But don't you think it's kinda big?" Justin asked, letting
the medallion fall back on to his somewhat scrawny chest.

	JC laughed boisterously.  "Somehow I don't think that'll be a
problem.  Don't worry you'll grow into it.  It'll be like your little
thing, just like your curly hair.  You have to have a certain image now, it
comes with being famous."

	"People aren't even going to recognize me!" Justin complained.
"I'm so small no one won't even see me!  And my hair, no one likes people
with curly hair!"

	"Justin, trust me OK?  You're going to grow up to be your own man.
People are going to love your personality, people are going to love your
curly hair," JC assured him, with a playful pat on the head.

	"Thanks Josh.  You always know exactly what to say to make me feel
good about myself," Justin stated.

	"Curly, you should always feel proud of yourself, you're a bright
and talented kid.  You make your parents so proud Justin and . . . and you
make me proud!" JC exclaimed.

	"I do?" Justin questioned in awe.

	"Always Justin, always," JC said with that irresistible grin.

	"Will you be my best friend forever?" Justin asked nervously.

	"You know I will!  We're inseparable, two peas in a pod.  The
Dashing Duo!" JC said with laughter.

	"Do I have you word?" Justin asked with speculation.

	"Justin, I can do better then that," JC responded.  He took out the
knife and carefully opened the blade up.  He deftly and swiftly carved into
the bark of the wood, not stopping until it was finished.  "There!" he said
with exasperation.


				 JC + JRT

				  Always
				     &
				  Forever


	"You have my word etched on our special spot!  Now do you believe
me?" JC stated with charm.

	"I have all the faith in the world for you JC . . .." Justin
responded, eyes shining.



~-~-~-~-~-~-~


	Justin, haunted by those familiar words ringing in his ears,
quickly stood and grabbed a coat from his closet before storming through
his door.  He zipped through the stairs and out into the backyard in a
flash.  He easily climbed through the short wall separating his backyard to
the secluded area.  Keeping up a rapid pace, he quickly reached their spot.
The old tree, still stubborn as ever, still stood in majestic grandeur
spreading its branches and leaves outward.  Not having visited it in
awhile, Justin noticed vines encompassing the trunk of the tree.  Twisting
and turning toward the sky as it fought for existence.  Justin circled the
tree before reaching the spot.  Moving away the vines that curtained the
carving of everlasting friendship.  He admired the deep grooves and edges,
and traced the "JC + JRT" part carefully with the tip of his finger.

	"I wish it could last forever," Justin sighed as he sat down at the
base of the monolith.  He reached in his pocket for his cell phone and used
speed dial.

	"Hey y'all this is Britney!  I'm out right now so when you hear the
beep you know what to do!  Oh!  And don't forget to . . . call me baby one
more time!"  Justin smirked at his friend's message before hanging up.  He
pressed another speed dial code hoping this friend would be free.

	"Like Oh my god Heather you would just not even believe me how hot
Carson is!  Girl, let me tell you something, he is just scrumptious!"
Justin heard immediately.

	"Like Oh My god, he's so like totally a hottie!" Justin squealed
into the phone.

	"Justin!" Christina exclaimed with embarrassment.

	"Hey girl what's up?" Justin asked.

	"J!  You better not be spreading rumors now, don't be all shady!"
Christina responded.

	"Nah, girl!  You know I won't be all up in your business and shit.
Though I will never look at Carson the same ever again," Justin stated with
a laugh.

	"Justin!  Boy don't make me come get you!" Christina replied.

	"So how's things?" Justin asked.

	"It's been tight.  We've been practicing for the tour and getting
some rough cuts of some new songs," she responded.  "I was just on the
phone with Heather and she said she'd call me right back, so you kinda
caught me there," Christina joked.

	"How's Heather?" Justin questioned.

	"She's doing good.  Misses her brother though and you too,"
Christina replied.  "So how are the rich and famous boys of NSync?"

	"The group's been working, trying to get everything down for the
tour.  They're really cracking down on Lance to get the moves right.  Poor
Lance, he tries so hard but the boy was just born with two left feet.  Then
you know how hyper JC is; he wants even harder moves and faster beats.  I
don't know if Lance is going to make it through this one," Justin kidded
with his friend."

	"So how are you and the 'rents.  Still planning to move out?" she
asked.

	"Nah, we got everything worked out and they realize how silly it
would be for me to have curfew and shit.  I've been thinking about getting
an apartment or something with JC after awhile though," Justin answered.

	"Still sticking to JC like glue huh?" she asked jokingly.  Justin
sighed heavily at the notion.  "Hey Just, it was just a joke," Christina
added.

	"I know . . ." Justin sighed.

	"So what's the problem?" Christina asked.

	"When we were all together was I always all over JC?" he asked.

	"Well kind of, but it wasn't like you were annoying him or anything
Justin.  He loved hanging around with you, he still does," Christina
responded.

	"So you didn't think anything weird was going on right?" Justin
asked nervously.

	"Well . . . the way you kind of looked at each other was kinda
funny," Christina stated, "it was kind of like the way you look at someone
when you . . . oh never mind I must have been imagining things."

	"The way you look at someone," Justin whispered with an audible
gulp, "when you love them."

	"Oh My God!  So Britney and I were right all along!  Keri kept
saying it was impossible!  But we knew Justin!  We had you two pegged, Oh
my goodness I have to call girlfriend up right now!" Christina exclaimed.

	"Chrissie, hold up!" Justin tried to interrupt her.

	"Oh no Justin, you know we wouldn't say a word to anyone, until
they find out from you guys.  But oh gosh!  How exciting this is for you
guys!  I bet JC is such a romantic; you're so lucky Justin.  He MUST be a
good kisser.  Mmmm he has those soft kissable lips that are just so yummy!"
she stated, "Now I'm not trying to steal your boy toy Just but oh god the
man is cute!"

	"Chrissie, we're not a couple, we're not together, amd we're not
going out.  As far as I know we both might not even like each other like
that," Justin yelled into the phone.

	"OK OK!  So what's wrong with JC?" Christina asked.

	"I don't know!  I thought we were so connected and so meant to be,
but I guess I was wrong," Justin murmured.

	"Damn Justin, so what's up with JC?  Is he doing something shady?"
Christina questioned suspiciously.

	"I wish I knew, I've been trying to get him to talk to me but he's
been dodging me," Justin said with frustration.

	"You want me to talk to him for you?" Christina questioned
seriously.

	"No!" Justin yelled.

	"What?  I'm not going to stand here while he's being all shady, I
gotta protect my boy!" Christina said in her mock-ghetto tendencies.

	"Girl!  You so crazy!  Listen, don't say anything to Brit, Heather
or anybody else OK?  Let me figure it out before half the MMC crew know
before JC does," Justin explained.

	"J, you know I'll keep the 411 on the down low," Christina giggled.

	"Good, now get your ghetto fabulous self to practice!" Justin said
with a smirk.

	"Alrighty Lates, J Man!" Christina said bye to her friend.

	"Peace Out!" Justin remarked.  Justin shook his head at the silly
games he and Christina would used to play growing up.  "God JC!" he
suddenly exclaimed.  "Why are you fighting so hard against this!  I know
you feel it too!" he yelled out in frustration.  He stood and looked at the
tree one more time before heading back.


	JC moved back against the foliage as Justin passed by him.  He
watched as Justin hopped the wall and went inside his house.  JC carefully
crept out of his hiding place and made his way toward their spot.  Although
Justin had stopped coming here as frequently, JC had come to embrace this
sacred place with a vengeance.  He liked to come in the late afternoon to
think and meditate about life and what he wanted out of it.

	Yes, there was Justin, and he knew they could be happy together.
Live in such a fairy tale life of love and devotion that would be perfect.
Yet, it scared him to no end.  He wanted a normal life with a wife and
kids.  Oh how he adored kids, he had always wanted at least ten of them
pitter-pattering around the house.  Yet, there would be no pitter-patter if
he chose to be with Justin.  Only hate and spurn from other people not
willing to understand them.  Only selfishly holding on to misconceived
notions and bigotry.

	They could make it last, he was sure of it, but he would never want
to put Justin in that situation.  JC knew he couldn't always protect him,
never always be by his side.  Admitting love would only make the worries
multiply.  A constant fear that he had no control of.  Not even control of
his own self, and that, that frightened him to no avail.  He remembered a
conversation once where a wide-eyed Justin Timberlake snuck into his room
and had made him spend the entire night talking.



~-~-~-~-~-~-~


	"Josh, how . . . how do you know when you're in love?" Justin asked
shyly.

	"Why J?  Are you falling for some girl at school?" JC ribbed him.

	"Josh!" Justin whined, "it's just that I want to know what to look
for when it happens."

	"Well I mean it's so hard to explain Justin, I really can't
describe it to you," JC responded.

	"Is it really special?" Justin asked with wonder.

	"Ya kiddo it is very special!" JC stated patting his head, "but
that only happens when you're with a person who means a lot to you."

	"Well, how do I know when they mean a lot to me?" Justin asked with
confusion.

	"Curly, when you're with someone really special and you really care
for them, you kind of put them above all other people.  They mean more to
you then your mom, your dad, your brothers, or friends.  You just want to
tell them all your secrets and you just want to be with them because they
make you feel happy and special," JC tried to explain.

	"Well you must be very special to me because I do all that with
you," Justin pointed out.

	"I guess you're right Just, you're a very special person in my
heart too," JC replied warmly.

	"I think I understand now Josh.  I just have to find a girl version
of you!" Justin said, rolling with laughter.

	"Hey!  I think I would make a pretty fine looking woman!" JC said
posing in a seductive look.

	"Don't give me nightmares Josh!" Justin giggled.

	"Oh you think that's funny huh?" JC asked sarcastically.  "Well,
how about this?" JC asked hitting Justin with a pillow, "and this! And
this!  Do you give up?" JC asked holding the pillow threateningly.

	"No!" Justin said with a wide grin.  JC whacked him a couple more
times till Justin gave up.

	"You promise to give up?" JC asked, clearly tired and flustered.

	"Yes!  Yes!" Justin said trying to keep his composure.

	"Pinkie Swear?" JC asked suspiciously.

	"Pinkie Swear," Justin repeated as he hooked up his pinkie to JC's.



~-~-~-~-~-~



	JC mentally shook himself, parted the curtain of vines and looked
at the etching he had done so many years ago.  He looked at it longingly
and with a sad heart.

	"I still remember my promise Just," JC sighed, "but I can't be with
you forever."

	JC reached into his pocket and took out the pocketknife he had
always kept close to him.  He opened up the blade with the intention of
destroying all that their promise stood for.  All the wonderful moments and
memories not yet made in their lives together.  He was determined not to
make Justin too much a part of his life that he couldn't live without him.
It would be too much to be dependent on someone else.  He was in control of
his life and he wanted to keep it that way.  He raised the knife
menacingly, ready to claw away at the unwanted truth.

	"I can't!" JC sobbed dropping the knife to the floor.  JC fell to
the floor, racked with waves of contrition.  "I don't want to love you
Justin," JC mumbled, rising to his feet.  He stood with the knife in his
hands and dug it through the thick bark.  He sniffled as he worked, and
quickly made the adjustment.  He quietly wiped his eyes of his tears and
carefully looked at his work.  He smiled slowly and then turned and walked
away.


				  *     *
				*    *    *
			       *  	   *
			       * JC  + JRT *
				*         *
				 *       *
				   *   *
				     *


	To Be Continued????

	Well there it is.  I know it was actually a long chapter!  Go
figure, lol.  Anyway, write me some comments at SLK2308888@aol.com