Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2005 14:05:21 -0800 (PST)
From: Rj Gilmore <xxmorbydxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: True Love with Justin Timberlake - 9 - 10

   Ok, here is the long awaited Chapter Nine. After
about four long years. I think it is best for me to
finish a project that was unfinished. (Smile) 
   This story is in by no means implying that Justin
Timberlake or any of the other memebers of NSync are
gay. This is just a story. Not real. Ok, on with the
story.


CHAPTER NINE

   'It all seems like a dream now. When I think about
him. When I see him on TV, or find him in a magazine.
So many years since I had actually seen him in person.
Holding him. Kissing him... NO. NO. I won't. I refuse
to think about him. You have been so good. You haven't
thought about him for months. Hes found... (sigh)...
hes found another.'
   "RJ?"
   I was instantly torn out of my thoughts as I heard
someone ask my name. Looking up, I found myself face
to face with one of my roommates Lana. 
   "Yes Lana," I replied glancing around. We were
standing in my living room. It took me a minute to
realise why I was standing there. 
   "Sweetie, are you alright?" She asked me. "I was
talking to you and it looked like you had kind of
zoned out. Just making sure you were okay."
   I forced a smile. "Y-..yea. I am alright.Sorry. I
didn't mean to break focus. I guess it was something
you had said that made me think of something else."
   She frowned. "Well what I was asking you was if you
wanted to go ahead and pack the breakable things or
wait until we had everything else packed."
    
   'Justin, I don't want to pack! I don't want to
leave you! Just because of some threatening phone
call?!'

   I shook the memories out of my head. "Um,... lets
pack everything else first then we will work on the
breakable things."
   Lana shook her head okay, and walked into the
bedroom to finish putting our things in boxes. 
   I let out a moan, and set down on the couch.
Looking around my almost empty apartment, I smiled to
myself. Four years. It took me four years to actually
get somewhere with my life. 

             * * * *              * * * *
   After the incident of the phone call, Justin, the
boys, and including Britney had all felt that I should
leave. Not that they had wanted me to. They just felt
that the extreme purpose of a phone call like that
might put us all in danger. They had told me that they
would see if they recieved another phone call and let
me know from there. 
   I never heard from any of them. I didn't recieve a
phone call from them or from the anonymous threatening
voice. 
   I let it slide for a week, thinking they must all
be busy. But being Justin's boyfriend made it hard to
let things go. After another week I had become
worried. Three weeks went by and worried became
anxious. Anxious became furious by the fifth week. Why
hasn't he called?! Whats going on?!
   Of course I had not told my mother at all about
Justin and I. I knew that would be a mistake. He would
have no career. So I lived life normally as if he were
never a part of my life. 
   We moved in with my mother's boyfriend as planned
at the end of the summer. That was a changing
experience. It had always been just my mother and I.
To see her with another man was kind of depressing. I
felt left out. Like I wasn't a part of her life
anymore. Then came depression for me.
   I had lost Justin apparantley. Now I had lost my
mother. What was next? I did not want to know. But I
found out soon enough. We had gotten a call from a
doctor in Florida telling us that Kim was sick and was
dying of cancer. That was when I think the old me
died.
I cried for weeks on end. I didn't even go to the
funeral.
   I got a job with the insistence from my mothers
boyfriend. I did not want a job but later on I was
happy I did so. I started saving up money.
   High school started for me. I felt out of place as
soon as I had stepped through the doors. I had made it
a point to not talk to anyone. I remembered it had
worked that way in junior high. Though I did have some
friends; ignoring those that ignored you was the best
way to get by. 
   I took classes that gave me the credits I needed to
get in the grade level I belonged in. That was where I
met Carla. 
   Carla was considered a "Freak"; Freak in a good
way. It was just another word for the gothic type of
people. Freaks mostly were considered the kids in the
baggy jeans that wore the band T-Shirts like Marilyn
Manson, Tool, Slipknot; things of that nature. They
had also listened to these bands. Apparantley, the
bands they supported were their lives. They were
misfits. Like me. So I was happy to relate with these
teenagers.
   I quickly joined these kids. They all knew I was
gay but they did not seem to have a problem with it. I
began to blow all the money I had saved up from work
on the clothes, CD's, magazines. 
   It was all so new for me, but Carla had walked me
through it all. Down went my posters of pop music. I
silently cried to myself realising that if Justin had
seen the way I was becoming the he would probably
definately not approve. I had just ripped him down
from my wall!
   NSync no longer played in my CD player. All the
videos I had of them - gone. It was hard at first. But
the longer I did not hear from them, the more I was
accepting this.
   Then came the tabloids and on television that him
and Britney were together. Feeling backstabbed, hurt,
and betrayed I tried to kill my feelings for him. 
   Over the next two years, I managed to ignore the
magazines, Television shows, and anything dealing with
him. Replacing him with minor crushes like Ginger Fish
from Marilyn Manson or Jay Gordon from Orgy. 
   At 17, I began lashing out. Skipping school,
fighting with my mother. Finally after fighting the
feelings of getting away, I told my mother I was
moving out. She accepted this.
   I moved from place to place to place. Living with
friends, distant family; even strangers. I wasn't
applying myself to get a job, and wouldn't force
myself to finish high school or get my GED. 
   Around 18, after many places later, I met Jonah.
Jonah and I became friends and hit it off really well.
He let me stay with him and gave me the inspiration to
find a job and get my own place. I finally did so near
the end of 2004. I was 19 by this time.
   With a full time job and my own place I began
living life... I even started going to school again.
   Then Justin began to come back into my mind. Trying
to force him out; angry at him for not calling me and
dating other people. But for some reason this time it
was becoming impossible to do. 
   I did everything I could once more to push him out.
Hanging out with Carla, working overtime, cleaning and
already spotless house. Nothing was working.
   Then Lana and her sister Gabby came into my life.
They were two girls that had had so much strife and
struggle in their lives. I had met Lana at the mall of
all places and we thought each other unique and
decided to keep in touch and be friends. It wasn't
until later that I find they had been living in a
hotel they could hardly afford. Lana's sister had
worked as a waitress in a restaurant nearby my home -
working as much as she could to survive. 
   Though I only had one bedroom, my heart called out
to them and told them to come and stay with me to save
money and get their own place. After many hours of
convincing they did so. 


             ****                    ****

   So here I was. My life had changed so much. But it
felt empty.
                   Justin.
   So many things that I want to say to you. So many
things I am dying to ask you. My heart is broken. I
have been in denial of loving you for a long time. 






                 CHAPTER TEN

   "Here is a toast," Gabby said holding up her glass
of Kool-Aid. "To us. And may this new chapter in our
lives be a good one."
   We held up our glasses and clinked them against one
another. 
  Me, Lana, Carla, and Gabby were sitting on the floor
of the apartment drinking Kool-Aid and eating pizza.
We had been packing all day, getting ready to move to
another state. 
  California.
   Lana was a photographer and had gotten a contract
deal to do photo shoots of famous celebrities. This
job required her to move to Los Angeles. Gabby being
her sister, was not letting her go alone. And I,
wanting to get out of Texas and just go somewhere new,
figured this would be the perfect oppurtunity.So we
all decided that we would still be living with one
anothe- only this time in Los Angeles.  
  Our apartment was almost empty. We only had a few
more things to pack before we left for our new home
the next day. Carla was not going. She had only come
to help us pack. I had to spend thiry minutes
consoling her and promising her that I would see her
again.
   "Lets all say a toast," Lana implied, taking a bite
of her pizza and then picking up her glass again. "May
this be a new adventure for all of us and.. that I can
actually keep this job."
   We clinked glasses.
   I picked up my glass of the liquid drink."Yes may
you keep this job, and... and may we all be wealthy in
our new adventure."
   "Money is good." Gabby said nodding her head. "May
we be very wealthy!"
   Carla picked up her glass. "May I see you all once
more, and..." She stopped and looked at me. "May
whatever troubles RJ has been dealing with all the
time that I have known him, cease to exist and may we
get to see a happier RJ." 
   I stared at her, shocked. "What do you mean,
troubles that I have been dealing with?"
   Carla smiled a reassuring smile as to let me know
she did not mean to offend me. "Something bothers you
RJ. I can see that. Everyone can see it. Now, I am not
going to pry you of what it could be, but it seems you
are hiding something. And whatever it is, its hurting
you."
   I didn't say anything. Lana, who was always good at
easing the tension in a room, noticed that I was
getting uncomfortable with the conversation. 
   "Hey, how about a movie?" Lana asked.
   No one said anything. 
   "It's our last night in this house," Lana
continued. "Let alone our last night with all four of
us being together. Lets go see a movie or something."
   Happy that the conversation was over before it even
began, we all got up and headed out for a night out on
the town.

A WEEK LATER 

   I pulled up to the building where Lana was doing
her photo shoot. Turning off the car, I glanced at my
watch. I was on time. 
   Hopping out of the car, I made my way to the
building and took a breath. I was nervous.
   Lana had called my cell phone earlier that morning
and asked me if I would care to have lunch with her
and a client that was modeling for her pictures later
on that day. I of course said yes. 
   She had told me that this was someone very famous
and that she was excited that she was chosen to do his
photos for an upcoming magazine. Once she started
talking to him, they seemed to be instant friends
right away. So she had invited him to lunch. 
   Opening the door of the building I stepped out of
the heat, and into a nice cool lobby. Off to my right
sat a lady behind a desk. 
   "May I help you?" She asked as soon as she saw me.
   "Uh, yea. "I responded. "I am here to see Lana. We
were supposed to do lunch."
   The lady glared at me for a moment and then picked
up the phone. Punching some buttons she sat with the
phone to her hear.
   "Mr. Beaudrow?" She finally said into the phone.
"There is a young gentlemen here for Miss Lana... Uh
huh.. yes... alright Mr. Beaudrow. Your Welcome."
   She hung up. 
   "If you go down that hallway there," the lady told
me pointing to some doors behind her. "You will see a
door marked STUDIO off to your left. Miss Lana is in
there finishing up her shoot."
   I thanked her and made my way through the double
doors and into a dim lighted hallway. Walking a little
ways I saw STUDIO marked on a door and made my way to
it. Taking another deep breath, I opened the door and
walked in.
   I entered a huge room that looked more like a
warehouse. The floors were concrete, as were the
walls. Photo equipment was everywhere. In the center
there was a green screen hanging from the ceiling and
placed in the front of it on the floor sat, what I
took, were some props and things. 
   "RJ!" I heard Lana call. Looking over I saw her
coming over to me. 
   "Man, I love this job!" She said excitedly. "I got
to take pictures of some cool people."
   I smiled. "Well I am happy to hear that."
   She gave me a hug. When she let go she said "As
soon as my client is done changing and everything, we
will be off to lunch."
   "Oh, okay." I told her. "So is this client an
upcoming star, a singer, an actor? What?"
   "Not an upcoming star. He has been around for a
long time. But he does sing and act. "
   "Neat." I told her. "So why did you want me to come
to lunch with you?"
   She smiled a big smile. "Well my client is coming
out with a new album. But he needs some ideas for his
layout on his CD. You know? Pictures; the way the CD
and its case is going to look."
   "Okay." I said. "Go on."
   "Well you have helped me with ideas for pictures
before, back at home when I would take pictures of my
clients and everything. So I figured I could use your
input of things that I could do. Like throw my ideas
out there and you and my client can let me know what
you think."
   "Lana," I smirked. "You are an adult now. Working
for a business. Not like working from the apartment
back at home. It is time you think for yourself."
   She slugged me in the arm. "RJ, just do this for me
alright?"
   I sighed. "Ok. I'll do it for you. If it makes you
happy."
   "Thank you!" Lana said, grinning. "Now if we could
only make you happy."
   I started to open my mouth to say something but the
door that I had come in, opened. Turning around to see
who had come in, my heart stopped. 
   No! This could not be happening!
   He came in through the doorway and stopped when he
saw me, like a deer caught in headlights.
   "RJ," I heard Lana say. "This is my client, Justin.
Justin Timberlake."

Ok sorry that it all seemed too fast to take in but I
was just trying to update this story as much as
possible. Please email me with your comments if you
can. The story is now picking up and won't be as fast
as this one. Look for Chapter 11- coming soon