Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2000 06:57:46 -0000
From: Dave McGrath <dragon_reborn88@hotmail.com>
Subject: Utopia (chapter 9)

   This story is purely fictional and it's not suggesting anything about the
sexuality of either N'Sync or Backstreet Boys. I'm not trying to imply that
either one of the band members is bisexual or homosexual. I also do not
suggest this story to anyone who is offended by erotic homosexual stories or
who is under the age of eighteen.

        ***************************************************

   I eased myself in the chair, and watched him make himself comfortable on
the bed. He wrapped blanket around his feet, and sat right in front of me
crossing his legs in Indian style. The smile on his lips never wavered, and
his eyes were still so warm... My mind was completely fogged up, and I
wondered if I've finally gone crazy. The fact that I saw him in my dream,
and day later face to face, really seemed like something out of sci-fi
movies.
I cleared my throat, and decided to speak first. My voice came out as a
squeak of dying bird. Clearing my throat again and making an attempt to stop
myself from blushing, I asked:
"You wanted to talk to me about something?"
He took a pillow from the floor and hugged it tightly, resting his chin on
the top. It seemed like he was deep in thought, but everything he said came
out very clearly:
"I don't have a real explanation for wanting you here. I just think you
might be needed here... with your skills and everything."
Crossing my legs on the chair, I attempted to fix the elastic that held my
hair. I knew he was lying... and he knew that I knew...
Blushing slightly, he buried his face in the pillow. I needed all of my
strength in will to not stare at him, or to not jump on the bed and hug him
tightly.
When realizing where my thoughts took me, I shook my head and frowned at the
floor wishing that there was a way to beat myself up. Justin took my frown
as something completely different though, and he sighed deeply. His smile
was gone and his voice was quiet, almost a whisper:
"What was his name?"
I felt my stomach tighten and my throat turn dry. The question came out of
nowhere and it was painful blow... to bring all those memories in couple of
seconds was indescribable pain. My voice was quieter than his when I
answered his question:
"Daniel."
Justin just nodded like it's the most natural thing in the world. His eyes
were crystals ready to burst and roll down his cheeks... his voice came out
as hoarse whisper, while he gripped the pillow until his hands turned white:
"Nathan."
One lonely tear rolled down his cheek, and he wiped it away quickly
pretending to be fixing the blanket around his feet. Scrubbing his eyes, he
murmured softly:
"I'm sick... I have a flu so that's why... you know my eyes and nose and
stuff."
I just nodded still in shock from what he had told me. He was beautiful
boy... so warm and kind... I just couldn't make myself believe that he had
killed someone. I couldn't believe that he would even hurt someone...
He was looking somewhere through walls, while I decided to keep quiet. I
didn't even know what to say to him... 'It'll be ok,' 'You're a strong guy,
you'll survive,' 'Everything is gonna be fine'... ????
Things that people have told me didn't help at all. I knew it wouldn't help
him either. Trying to make my voice normal, I asked:
"What... what happened... how?"
Turning his empty gaze at me, he mumbled:
"You wanna know what happened?... I guess you should..."
Sitting up straight, his eyes had returned to their warm color and his lips
looked ready for a smile. But he didn't smile. He gripped the pillow
tightly, and sighed:
"It all started in Boston..."

             *****************************************

"Wow, this is beautiful!"
April's feet were in water, and her old jeans rolled up to her knees. The
socks and boots were neatly piled next to an old, old rock that seemed to
grow out of the sand. Nick sat on the top of the rock and watched her with a
smile. His shoes and socks were off too, and thrown on the sand carelessly
together with his jacket. His voice was too deep for his face, but
comfortable for ears:
"It's too cold to do that now. Wait until summer so you can swim... now
you'll just get a cold from standing in freezing water..."
She turned to him with a smile that overshadowed her face, and yelled out:
"I can do whatever I want!! I can do everything!! I love this... I love it!"
He jumped off the rock, and gathered his socks and shoes, then sat down and
slowly started pulling them on. Aprils face lost the smile in instant:
"We are leaving?? Already?"
He laughed shaking his head:
"Already? We've been here for about an hour and I need to get home. That's
why I drove here, remember?"
"Oh..."
Her face was expressionless as she walked out of the salty ocean water. The
waves overlapped each other, hitting her heals and hugging her ankles like
they wanted her to stay little longer. She sat next to him and reached for
her socks. Pulling them on slowly, she mumbled:
"I don't have a place to go to."
Frowning at his shoes like they were guilty for everything, he mumbled back:
"You can come with me."
Forgetting the boot she was putting on, she turned towards him with that
same blinding smile she had in the water:
"Really, you'll take me in? Seriously?? You will?"
Scratching his head, and still frowning at his shoes, he seemed to be trying
to avoid her eyes:
"Yeah, well, you have nowhere to do... My mother will be ok with it... but
she'll make you do some work for her..."
Excitingly finishing the tying of her boots, she jumped up still smiling:
"That's perfect... what are we waiting for? C'mon... lets go meet you mom!"
Before he could even make a move to get up, she was already running towards
the path off the beach. Tripping couple of times on rocks stuck in the sand,
she almost fell down, but she kept running like her life depended on it.
Getting up slowly, Nick couldn't help but grin at her... she was a gift from
Heaven... he knew that. Her laugh at finally falling on her face was so
bright and happy, that he dusted off his jeans quickly and took off running
after her. The sand raised veil like a dust under his feat. She squeaked
while still laughing and kept on running. On the top of the hill leading
towards the parking lot, she yelled out:
"I'll get to the car before you do!"
And then she turned and ran downhill. Fighting with sand, Nick was still
grinning. Definitely a gift of Heaven.

          ************************************************

   Stepping out of the airport, Brian felt the salty wind hit his face and
he smiled. It reminded him of home... home that wasn't so far away now. But
he wasn't about to think about it... he didn't want to. Focus is all he
wanted and all he needed. Find and kill. Find and kill.
Repeating that sentence inside his mind, he walked out in the street looking
for taxi. His backpack was all he had with him and all he needed. Couple of
shirts, underwear, some money, black belt, and Catcher in the Rye. The book
that he read so many times that he lost the count. It was his safety... the
book was his home.
Waiting for a taxi to show up, he sat on the cold pavement crossing his legs
in Indian style, and tried thinking how to get to Kevin without him knowing.
How to catch him in surprise... but everything he thought of came out lame
and absolutely useless. Tired of planing, he cleared his mind and formed his
Peace with all feelings in perfect harmony, whether they are good or bad.
His Peace was something Daniel taught him... if your feelings are in perfect
harmony, then you are stronger, quicker, and more likely to win. Just
because you can control your feelings... If you can control yourself, then
you can easily control the opponent.
After sitting there for about an hour, the Taxi finally showed up and Brian
jumped in, happy that he is finally moving towards somewhere. The Taxi
driver was fat and bold, with lips giving away years of smoking, and with
scar on the left cheek that seemed almost fresh. He looked at Brian
suspiciously, and growled:
"Where to?"
Brian pushed away a load of McDonalds boxes so he could sit on the actual
seat. He was barely disgusted by most of the things, but he was positive
that the fat, bold guy will make him empty his stomach. He gave guy a grin
though, and said happily:
"Golden Pearl... my fiancé is waiting there."
Without saying anything, the driver turned the car around. Brian knew where
Golden Pearl was, and he had everything planned... it was the furthest hotel
into the woods, and from there he would have no trouble keeping an eye on
Kevin. He decided to just observe him couple of days... and then kill him...
definitely kill him. His heart tightened at the thought, but he calmly
sighed in the back of the car. Kevin knew he needed to kill him... Closing
his mind to memories of soft touch, he bit his lips and whispered softly to
himself:
"He will die...."

                                  End Of Chapter 9