Date: Sun, 23 Nov 2003 01:01:41 -0500
From: Thack <thack98@mindspring.com>
Subject: What I Feel For You Scene 136-137

Greetings all!  Thank you for your patience.  Yes, I'm still
working on the story.  LOL.

The legal stuff:  This story is sexually-explicit, involving
homosexuality.  Do not continue if this will offend you.  If
accessing this story causes you to break local laws, please
leave now.  By continuing, you implicitly declare and affirm
under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in
the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to
sexually explicit material.  The content and opinions
expressed in this story do not imply anything with regard to
the sexual preference of any member of 98 Degrees or other
celebrities named herein.  (Like it or not, they are all
straight.)  It is a work of fiction entirely.

Thanks to Jase and Dan, each for VERY different reasons.  My
flyboy and my fly boy.

Scene 136

Jeff sighed as he looked down at me.  He looked tired, as if
he hadn't slept in some time.

"Alex," he said softly.  "The doctors don't think he's going
to wake up."

"I know, but they're wrong."

"Alex."

"You just have to believe me, Jeff.  I just know this isn't
the end."  I paused, wondering if I was ready for this part
of the conversation.  "I mean, Drew is going to make it.
But he and I are over."

I closed my eyes a second, wishing I didn't have to tell all
of this to Jeff.  Even if he didn't want to say, "I told you
so," I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his
head.

"We were in Kona for dinner.  The concierge at the hotel had
set up this nice dinner right on the water.  It was great to
be there with him and for a moment I thought everything was
going to work out.  Then, our of the blue he starts telling
me about Lea and how it would be good for the group if they
got back together."

"I found out about that yesterday," Jeff said quietly.

"So you didn't know?"

"Hell no!  If I did I would have probably gone ballistic and
attacked the little shit."  Right after he said it he
started turning red.  "I'm sorry, Alex.  I don't really mean
that.  Despite our differences I love him."

"I know you do.  But there he was telling me how he was
ready to get back with her but that it wasn't going to mean
anything.  I lost it, Jeff.  I guess I'm not as trusting as
I should be.  She was his first love and I'm not convinced
he wouldn't be with her again if he had the chance."

"But he loves you."

"True," I said.  "And I love him.  I always will.   But
there have been times I've thought about being with other
guys."

There was a long silence and I closed my eyes.  I tried to
organize my thoughts but everything seemed out of place, as
if all the files in a filing cabinet were moved and I was
searching for something specific.  I honestly didn't know
what I meant when I said I had thought about being with
other guys.  I opened my eyes and looked up at Jeff's blue
eyes.  I knew there was a connection between us but I wasn't
prepared to do anything about it.

"So, how do I fit into your plan?"

I wasn't sure what Jeff was asking and he must have realized
that by the look on my face.

"You said you want me to help you wake Drew up.  Tell me
what I need to do."

"It's gonna sound crazy."

"That's okay," he smiled.  "I suppose since you dreamt about
the accident months before it happened I'll give you a
little leeway in the reality department."

"Maybe," I replied.  I stalled for a moment.  "It's gonna
sound crazy."

"You said that already.  Just tell what I need to do."

"Okay.  I need you to go talk to Drew for me."

"He's unconscious, Alex."

"It doesn't matter.  He'll hear you."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I need you to talk to him and tell him I'm dying."  I
paused a moment to see if he'd say anything but he didn't so
I continued.  "Tell him I'm dying and before I leave I need
to see him one more time.  Tell him I love him and I need to
have him with me one last time."

"Alex!  That's morbid."

"But it'll work, Jeff.  He's not going to leave me.  Not
when I need him."

He stood up and took a few steps back.  He rubbed both hands
through his hair and sighed heavily.

"You want me to lie to him?"

"It'll work, Jeff."

He shook his head and sighed again.

"Okay," he said finally.  "But it won't be easy getting him
alone.  They're having a round the clock vigil for him.
Between Justin, Nick, and his mom I barely have a chance to
see him."

"Justin is here?"

"Of course he is. Alex.  You talked to him this morning for
an hour."

"No I didn't."

"Yes," he said softly, "you did."

"I must have been some serious drugs, then because I don't
member seeing him at all."

"He said you were pretty lucid."

I thought I detected a hint of worry flash across Jeff's
face.  His eyes met mine and he quickly looked away, as if
the machines that were monitoring my body suddenly were more
important to look at than me.  I wasn't ready to go down
that road so I simply ignored the nagging worry I felt
inside of me.

"Just a find a way to talk to him alone, Jeff."

"I will."

He walked over and gently kissed me on my forehead.  As he
righted himself he let his hand brush through my hair once.
He smiled in a gentle way and before I could say anything he
was gone.  Alone, once again, I closed my eyes and waited
for sleep.  I believed it would work.  Drew would hear that
I was dying and wake up to see me.  It would be his reason
to come back to the world.  I just prayed that he wasn't
planning on meeting me on the other side.

Scene 137

I woke up with a stranger sitting next to me holding my
hand.  At least, that's what I thought.  She smiled down at
me and for a moment I thought I was dreaming.  I looked down
at my arm and say the IV still attached, so I was confident
I was still on heavy pain medication.  Honestly, I had lost
all sense of time so I had no idea what day it was.

"Hi, Alex," he said.

A sudden flood of memory hit me.

"Mrs. Lachey."

She laughed.

"Sorry, Mrs. Fopma." I corrected, stumbling over her last
name.

"Just call me Cate."

I smiled back at her, realizing she wasn't a stranger at
all.  I'd never met her, but I had heard stories about her
from both Drew and Nick.  I couldn't remember but I knew one
of them had shown me a picture of her once.  I spent a long
moment trying to figure out if it had been Drew or Nick and
finally gave up.

"I'm glad to see you're doing okay," she said softly,
letting go of my hand.

"If this is okay," I motioned gingerly to my broken leg and
the various tubes and wires attached to me.

"I wish I had met you at Christmas.  We were looking forward
to it.  It certainly would have been under better
circumstances."

"I'm sorry," I said, not sure why I was apologizing for the
blizzard that stranded me in Minneapolis.

"I've heard some very nice things about you from Nick and
Drew."  I wondered how much Drew had really said about me,
knowing he wasn't prepared to out himself to his parents.
"And from Justin and Jeff, too."

"They are all great.  Especially Nick and Drew."

She smiled again.  There was a moment of uneasy silence.
For whatever reason I knew I shouldn't speak.

"Thank you for saving my son."

My mind went into high gear.  I felt the smile burst across
my face.

"It worked!  Drew's awake!"

I saw he body sink down and her eyes begin to glisten.

"No, Alex.  That's not what I meant.  Drew's not awake.
Drew's not going to wake up."

The moment of joy I had felt was fleeting.  Clearly Jeff
hadn't had the chance to talk to Drew.  I felt bad for his
mother.

"Oh, I'm sorry.  I just."

"It's okay."

"Then how did I save him?" I asked.

"You kept him alive out there."

"What?"  I was thoroughly confused.

"It seems no one told you.  Do you remember the accident?"

"No," I confessed.  It dawned on me that what she was about
to tell me I may have already heard and simply forgotten,
like my visit with Justin.

"According to the doctor's, Drew should have died after the
crash.  They said that with the injuries that he sustained,
there's simply no way he should be alive right now.  They
also told me that you are the reason he's still here.
Apparently you stopped the bleeding and kept him alive until
the paramedics arrived."

"I did?"

"Yes."

"How?"

She laughed.  It seemed like both a strange response and a
perfect one all at once.

"If you don't know, I don't know."

"Drew saved himself.  He must have.  I mean, I don't
remember anything.  Or rather, I remember bits and pieces.
If I did anything to keep Drew alive it was because he told
me what to do.  You're son is alive because of what he
knows, not because of me."

"Well, Alex.  Whatever happened out there, I still have to
thank you.  You gave me a chance to say goodbye to my son."

With that she started crying.  I looked up at her and saw
the tears streaming down her face.  They dripped onto the
dark red material of the dress she was wearing, momentarily
staining it.  I shuddered, thinking it looked like blood.
We sat there for what seemed like an eternity, neither of us
wanting to speak.  Neither of us really knew what to say.

With a crash the door to the hallway flew open.  Nick was
the first to enter, followed by Justin on his heels.  They
were both out of breath and each was grinning wildly.  I
sniffled, suddenly embarrassed to be crying.

"Mom!" Nick cried out.  "Drew's awake!"

To be continued.

Thanks for reading.  I appreciate all the comments.  Oh, and
thanks to the person that nominated "Alex and Jeff" as "Most
Anticipated Couple" in the Nifty Boy Band Story Awards.  I
got a kick out of that one.

Send feedback to:  thack98@mindspring.com