Date: Sat, 13 Apr 2002 18:34:16 +0800
From: yr_ry_ <yr_ry_@hotmail.com>
Subject: what i see 12

*Disclaimer*

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please do not read
on. If you couldn't accept themes of homosexuality and the like, please
don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate
relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and
contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or in simpler terms, it's not
true!!! Even if this story involves NSYNC, a real, successful American
singing group, and a fictitious character, all that happens in here is
fictional... again, it's not true. If there are instances that it is
similar to what happened in the real world, it doesn't mean that it's
really true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the I
and the world know, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay
(but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of
speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know
NSYNC personally. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but don't we all hope that it's
true... hehehehe...


*First Words*

Hi guys. This is my 3rd work here in the boyband section of the Nifty
Archives. I dunno why I called it "What I See" but I just ran out of ideas
for a title and thought of something simple. So the title, What I See was
born *giggle*. I dunno if I can manage my 3 stories at the same time but
Crossed Paths is in its "season break" and Reformation is still there. But
I'll really try my best to update all my stories. Remember, I love
feedbacks.

Mail me at my NEW Addie at
yr_ry_@hotmail.com


What I See Chapter 12

The two of us were just standing there by someone else's lawn. Paul was
just staring at me waiting for something to happen. Me on the other hand
was sweating profusely. I was so nervous as hell. The phone just kept on
ringing and ringing and it was like that it wasn't gonna end. Again, my
mind was racing arranging different scenarios why JC wouldn't answer the
phone. And, all of them are really bad, very bad.

Then, I heard a click like someone answered. "Hello?" I said on the
phone. I know my voice was still a little hoarse and I sounded like I was
unsure with what I was doing. Well, I really don't know what I'll be
telling him. As what Paul said, just tell something straight from the
heart. Only silence answered me. "Josh?" I voiced out again.

I know that someone was on the other line. I can hear the deep
breathing. But why won't he say something? Is he still mad at me because of
last night? I hope not. I really hope not. "Yes?" JC said to me blankly.

"Josh, can we talk?" I asked. My heart was racing really fast and it was
like I was gonna throw up the cereal I ate earlier on. Please say 'yes'.

"We're talking now." Josh replied icily. I guess he's still mad.

"Josh, I'm really sorry last night. I trust you Josh. I really really do."
Tears were beginning to form in my eyes. It was like I was the only who's
existing at the moment. Me, the phone, and Josh. I didn't notice the prying
eyes of Paul as he looked at me with concern and curiosity. I didn't notice
that I was out in someone else's lawn pouring my heart out. Pouring my
heart out. That's new.

Josh remained silent just breathing deeply.

"Josh, you're the most amazing thing that has ever happened in my life. For
the first time in my life, I have somebody who I can call my 'boyfriend'
and that fact really scares me. I am so afraid of myself in screwing up
this relationship coz this is very important in my life right now." The
tears were already flowing down my cheeks and I have fallen to the grassy
ground of this lawn. I guess my knees have buckled down. "Last night when
we were talking, I was thinking how I ever deserve such an ideal guy like
you. I was thinking what you see in me. Add that with my lil bit of low
self-esteem, I was thinking that I might not be good enough for you coz I
am so imperfect and you seem so perfect." I did what Paul advised me. I
told him what I was feeling. All that's in my heart, I poured it all
out. "But I guess all the things that I have thought were true, I screwed
everything up. I guess Justin might be right. I'm not right for you." I
whispered the final few words. I was exhausted.

"But you are right for me." Josh said to me with a whisper that I barely
heard. "You might not be perfect coz no one is really perfect, Kyle. I
didn't love a perfect Kyle. I loved the imperfect guy who makes me laugh
and fall madly in love again when he does something perfect or imperfect."
I can sense that JC was crying as well with the sniffling and the nasal
voice.

"But I screwed things up between us." I sobbed. I felt a comforting hand
rubbing my back and I knew that it was Paul who was doing that. It was the
only way he could show that he cared about me. It was my battle, not his
and we both knew that.

"You're not the only one who screwed up Kyle. I should share the blame
too." JC told me.

"No Josh! No! It was all my fault and you know it. Just don't." I refused
to believe what JC just told me. All of this was because of me, no one else
but me.

"It's my fault too. Last night, I tried to think about what we shared for
the past days. And it has always about me. Nothing but me. I tried to place
you in the world that I belong and I didn't even taken the effort to get to
know yours. I've dragged you to my rehearsals and you met my friends and I
was thinking that I want you to be so much a part of me that I forgot that
you have your own that I haven't get to know that much. I don't even know
where your office is." Josh cried. "I've been too insensitive as well. I
always say that it would be all right but it's not the truth. It's not all
right because I hate being away from you now that I've learned to live with
you." JC paused a chuckled a little bit that caught my attention. "See,
it's all about JC Chasez again and how he'll live through the tour with
you." JC said bitterly.

"Josh, stop it." I told him not wanting to hear this self-hate banter that
he's been doing. "You don't have to do this."

"You don't have to do it either." JC shot back at me making me fall into
silence. "Can't we just leave it that it's both our faults but we're gonna
move on from it?" JC pleaded to me.

"I'd like that." I said barely a whisper. "I'd really like that." I said in
a more audible tone with a pleasant smile pasted on my face.

"Me too." I could picture Josh smiling. JC's smile... it was a spectacle to
behold.

"What time are you leaving?" I asked him.

"I'm still in the house coz we're gonna meet by 9:00 later in the
compound." JC answered. I grabbed Paul's hand and looked at the time in his
watch. It read 7:30am. I have lots of time.

"I'll meet you there." I told JC and hung up the phone. I looked at Paul
who just nodded at me. "Tell mom that I'll be there for lunch, okay?" I
shouted as I ran towards my house to get my car keys and drive the hell out
of there to JC's house.

Do you get the feeling that it's like the whole world is against you? I
mean if you are hurrying up, there's just sick twist of fate that it just
slows you down. Maybe it's the fact that I'm excited too much and I wanna
see JC once more. Or prolly, the two cars barring the way when they
collided in the accident and the jam in a traffic intersection.

Oh well, I still arrived in JC's house. I was in front of gate and I was
about to turn off the engine to step down but the gates opened and I drove
thru. He's still here. Once I parked and exited my car, I sprinted to the
front door to finally meet JC. I was about 10 meters away from the door
when the door opened and JC ran to me. It was like a slow-motion-drama
scene. I was running to him and he was running to me.

His eyes were a little bit red, maybe from crying. I know because that's
the same way I looked at the moment. Once we were close enough, I wrapped
him into a tight embrace. It was like a big burden was lifted off my
shoulders once I touched JC. I could also feel his hands snaking around me
and it's like I felt so free yet so loved and protected. "I'm so sorry,
Josh." I whispered at him repeatedly as I tried to hug him tighter. I
really don't wanna let go. Never.

"Shh! We discussed this earlier." He said to me. "It's both our faults and
we are gonna move on." I can hear his soulful sweet voice once more. It was
one of the millions of fantastic things that I love about JC. I think he
can drive me to ecstasy with just his voice. JC broke his embrace and we
looked at each other. It's like I fell in love once more. Our faces were
drawn closer until our lips met. "Come on, let's go inside." Josh said with
a smile in his face.

The two of us walked inside the house. I could see his packed bags on the
floor ready to go for their tour. My spirits seemed to be trampled once
more. We are gonna part ways once more but I tried to hide it from JC. This
could be the last moment we're gonna see each other for a few months and I
don't want him to worry once more. When I looked at JC, he has this smile
on his face that wasn't wavering. It's just there. When he looked at me,
his smile became bigger. It was like his whole face was smiling that was
emanating happiness. It was contagious coz I was smiling as well.

He winked at me and he dragged me to upstairs. I think I have an idea what
this is all about. His legs moved quickly as he pulled me towards his room
and all I can do is follow his pace. I guess this is what they would call
the 'make-up' part and I'm really liking it already.

Once he opened the door, he spun around facing me and kissed me roughly
like he wanted to do it so much already. And I was feeling the same. I
guess last night really drained both of us. We need this. I grabbed his
head and pushed myself closer to him. I need to touch him. His hands were
snaking down to the button of my pants trying to undo it. I broke the kiss
when an idea went into my mind. "I think if we both strip now, it would be
quicker." I told him out of breath. He nodded and we quickly removed the
articles of clothing that we were wearing until we were both naked like we
were just born.

Our bodies once more met and I could feel the warmth that his skin was
emanating. Plus, the pulsing cock down there. He moved back and I moved
forward until we were at the bed I pushed him on the bed and dove at him
like a wild animal that was set free. I smothered him with kisses. I wanted
to taste him. I wanted to taste every part of his beautiful body. "Oh,
Kyle!" Josh groaned. I went down further until I was face to face with his
throbbing penis.

I wasted no time as I swallowed his penis and sucked on it. It elicited a
loud gasp and moan from JC and that was the encouragement I needed. I let
my hands crawl up his body until it touched one of his nipple. I began to
rub it with my thumb. I felt JC's hand over my hand guiding the circular
motion that I was doing with his nipple. "Kyle! God!" JC groaned once more.

Josh's ball sac contracted to his body signifying that he's close. I sucked
harder and bobbed my head faster wanting to taste the succulent cum that
he's gonna release momentary. "I'm about to cum..." JC groaned softly. I
looked at him and his eyes were closed enraptured by the intense
feeling. "I'm cumming!" JC groaned as his eyes opened and his body
tensed. Volleys and volleys of semen were ejaculated from his penis to my
mouth. It's still the most magnificent and exotic thing I ever tasted.

Once his penis stopped throbbing and began to deflate, I moved closer to
him. "I love you." I told him as I nibbled his earlobe.

"I love you too Kyle." Josh whispered. The way he said it made my heart
flutter. It was so simple yet it was so filled with emotions. The next
thing I knew was that JC was straddling my chest and he has this
mischievous grin plastered on his face. I know that he's up to
something. "Now it's your turn."

"Do we have the time?" I asked him. I don't want him to be late because I
know that he's really looking forward with this tour.

"Fuck it!" JC told me friskily and he wrapped my lips with his. I wrapped
my hands around his body and I began stroking his smooth and muscular
back. I felt that he was sliding down coz the next thing I was stroking was
already his head. I really love his hair. It was so long and it was so
soft.

A very strong feeling came to me as I felt a warmth around my
penis. "Jesus!" I gasped as I saw JC's head bobbing up and down. He was
sucking me like there was no tomorrow. It was short and quick strokes
bringing me to an overload of pleasure coursing through my body. "JC! Oh!"
I moaned as I grasped his long hair once more. I looked at him sucking me
and I could see a thin film of sweat on his forehead. He was so serious
with what he's doing. It's like he's making music there and there.

I could feel a familiar tightness in my groin area. I know that my climax
nearing. "Josh, I'm close. Very close." I moaned as I continued to stroke
his head. JC sucked harder and his motions were much faster putting me to
the throes of climax. "I'm cumming!" I shouted as I ejaculated in his
mouth. JC continued to bob up and down but in a slower pace as I slowly
felt my orgasm come to a close. "You're so fantastic!" I panted. He looked
at me and smiled. My head turned to the side and I saw the clock. It was
8:30am already. "Josh, what time are you needed again?" I asked him.

"9am, why?" He asked as he laid his head on my chest. He turned to the
watch and prolly saw the time! "Shit! I'm gonna be late and they're gonna
kill me!" JC exclaimed as he scrambled away from me but it made him fall
from the bed. "Ouch!"

"Are you alright?" I asked him as I peered from the bed. He was lying at
his back with this pained expression on his face. I was worried but it was
damn funny. I was giggling already.

"Not funny!" JC groaned as he tried to stand up. I extended my hand and he
grabbed it. I guess he didn't want to stand up coz he pulled me to
him. Yes, it was painful. "Now, who's laughing?" JC told me with a tinge of
sarcasm but I was still giggling.

"Come on, you're gonna be late." I told him as I tried to stifle my
laughter. I stood up and then pulled him up. We put in our clothes and once
we were presentable enough. "You know, we reek sex." I told him coz there
was this distinct scent that just screams 'sex'.

"The guys are gonna tease me like hell in the bus." He whined.

"But you love it!" I told him and he laughed at that. He knows that it's
true. We exited the room and went downstairs to get his bags and place them
in my car. I'm gonna bring him to the compound making it easier for him coz
he won't need someone to bring home his jeep. "You didn't forget anything?"
I asked.

"Everything's here." JC told me and he went to the passenger side of my
car. I went to mine and started my engine so we can start our trip to the
compound.

We were halfway through and we weren't still talking. "So?" I broke the
ice.

"So?" He said.

"Um, I really love you and trust you with my whole heart and soul." I told
him. I needed to tell him that not for him, but for me. I want to confirm
that it's what I was feeling. I needed to vocally admit my love for him.

"I love you too. I know that this is gonna be hard for you but we will make
this work." JC said to me as he placed his hand on my hand. "We'll just
have to talk, email or whatever each other. We're gonna make this happen
coz I love you so much that it hurts."

"We will see each other again after a few months?" I asked as I parked in
front of the compound. The bus was there and I could see that the others
were already there. Joey and Chris were talking outside the bus and Lance
was walking towards us waving.

"We'll see each other again." JC squeezed my hand and we met in a kiss. We
stepped out of the car and carried his bags to the bus.

"Hey!" Lance greeted us. "Only 5 minutes late!"

"We have some, um, final business that we have to attend to." I reasoned
out but I blushed a little when I said that coz I remembered what we just
did in his house.

"I'm not gonna pry anymore at that." Lance told me quickly. "The guys are
all there and you can just bring JC's bags in the bus." Lance informed us
and JC and I just nodded at him. "3 bags? I think that's a record for JC."

"Too many?" I asked.

"Are you kidding? Last tour, he brought 8!" Lance chuckled. I looked at
Josh and he was just smiling at me sheepishly.

"Let's just say that there are lots of unwanted stuff that I forced him to
leave." I told Lance.

"Good!" Lance said with a nod.

"Hi Kyle!" Chris and Joey greeted us. I said 'hi' and resumed walking to
the bus. We went in the bus and I was blown away. It was a little bit small
but it was fully furnished. It was practically a house inside. They have
this lounge room where there's a TV and lots of game consoles. There's a
dining room and kitchen and finally the bunk beds. Yeah, it's a little bit
cramped but I think they can manage.

"Our home!" Josh told me.

"Nice! Where's your bunk?" I asked him. He pointed at the farthest one to
the right. I placed his bags there and again, a silence settled. "I guess
this is it." I told him hesitantly. I don't want him to leave. I want to be
with him.

"I'll call you as soon as we reach Portland, okay? Just remember that I
love you and if you need anything, you know my cell." JC said to me. I
could see the sadness in his eyes as he bid goodbye to me.

"I'll wait for that call." I told him. "And the same goes with you. Call
me, email me anytime! I'll be there for you." I embraced him tightly trying
not to shed any tears. It's hard enough that he's leaving right now and I
don't want him to see me in a bad state. I have to be strong for him.

"Aaaw. Isn't that sweet?" A familiar sarcastic voice said behind us. I
broke the embrace and looked at the source of the voice. It was Justin
leaning at the entrance of the bunk area looking smug.

"What's your problem, Justin? You've been such a prick for the last few
days." JC snapped. I never imagined that it would come from Josh. Maybe
from me, but not Josh. I think Justin was thinking the same because he
looked shocked. "I've fed up with all your banters. I'm with Kyle now. Live
with it." Justin just spun around and left us.

"I'm sorry..." I started.

"You don't have to be sorry for anything. It's his problem not ours." The
flare in JC's voice diminished and his features soften once more as a smile
appeared in his face. I just nodded. "Come on, let's get out of this
cramped bunk." JC held my hand and dragged me to the lounge room where the
others were seated. Justin was in a corner sulking. Everyone seemed to be
ignoring him.

The engine started. They're ready to go. "Bye Josh." I told him. He gave me
a tight embrace and whispered 'I love you' in my ear. I'm trying my best
not to cry in that moment. I broke the embrace and faced the others. "Bye
guys! I hope y'all have a wonderful time." I told them with a smile.

"We'll try our best." Lance said with a nod as he stood up and gave me a
friendly hug.

The others followed except Justin who was still in his little corner not
facing anyone. "We'll keep Joshy out of trouble." Chris whispered as he
gave me his hug that made me laugh a little.

"Thanks." I answered. I waved one final goodbye and stepped away from the
bus. JC gave me a flying kiss and the door closed. The engine roared louder
and it moved slowly at first. Then, it drove away. Away from me. "Bye. I
love you." I said to no one in particular as a tear escaped my eye.


----------------
End of Chapter

Finally, that's Chapter 12. And the two are in lovey dovey terms again. I
just can't stand Kyle and Josh being sad and angry with each other. Again,
sorry for the sex scene, I'm still trying to cope up in that craft. My
imagination seeemed to be not enough! The next one would be a little bit
somber and it would feature Kyle's family. So more character development in
the next one and little more secrets from Kyle and the family.

It's so damn hot!!! I live in a little archipelago in Asia, Philippines and
when I say hot, it's really hot. I think we have like 35C (95F) temperature
here. Summer here is good, but this is just too much already. *sigh*

Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and MAILED me! I truly
appreciate it very much. A big, big shout to my Danish pals, Chris and
Danny, I hope you always be in love forever coz you compliment each other
perfectly. You two are made for each other! :-)

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those
feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line
okay? I also have most of the IM programs out there and I'm usually on,
hopefully you can catch me.

AIM : pseud0ry
Yahoo! : yr_ry
MSN : yr_ry_@hotmail.com
ICQ : 156360427

Also, I'm usually in the boyband chatroom.

NEW Addie is:
yr_ry_@hotmail.com

EMAIL me.

A big 'HI' to the people in the Nifty Boyband Chatroom and CRAZY!!! They
are so nice, especially Wes, Dru, CJ, Duckie, Strat, Clive, Jayson... and
the list goes on. Wanna say hi to my friend Byron who have helped me with
his support and his friendship! Stay strong in your relationship! Finally,
a big big 'thank you' to David who maintains the Nifty archives, without
him, we won't be reading any of the best slash fics in the world!

Also, here are my suggestions of other cool stories in the archive that
influenced me in my craft.

 + Brian and Justin (Brian/Justin)
 + The One (Brian/Justin)
 + Jamie's Romance (Justin)
 + Love Thru Chat (JC/Justin, Lance)
 + Josh and Just (JC/Justin)
 + Lance in Shining Armour (Lance)
 + My New Life (Lance)
 + Because I Love You (Brian/Nick)
 + Double Take (Brian/Nick)
 + Bad Boy B-Rok (Brian)
 + Justin's Dark Angel (Justin)
 + My Surprise Romance (Lance)
 + Heir to the Darkness (Brian/Nick)
 + Life with Justin (Justin)
 + Kevin and Dustin (Kevin)
 + French Kiss Me (Brian)
 + Millennium Love (Brian)
 + Forever (Kevin)
 + JC's Hitchhiker (JC)
 + Get Another Boyfriend (Kevin)
 + Jimmy Needs Assistance (Lance)
 + Lance, JC and an Astral Fan (Lance/JC)
 + Lance's Search (Lance/JC)
 + Heir to the Darkness (Nick/Brian)
 + JC Dreams (JC)
 + On the Streets (Kevin)
 + Sans Vous, Je Suis Rien (Justin)
 + Insecurities (Nick)
 + Chance Meeting (Justin)
 + My Soulmate JC (JC)
 + Brian and Tommy (Brian)
 + Like the Rain (Justin)