Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 21:30:06 +0800
From: "r(y)@n" <windang@softhome.net>
Subject: What-I-See-28

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 THIS STORY IS WRITTEN UNDER THE NIFTY BOY BANDS AUTHORS UNION
    Author: Ry
    Email: windang@softhome.net
    Other Stories in this directory:
	* Crossed Paths
	* Help Me
	* Reformation
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

* Disclaimer *

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please do not read
on. If you couldn't accept themes of homosexuality and the like, please
don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate
relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and
contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or in simpler terms, it's not
true!!! Even if this story involves NSYNC, a real, successful American
singing group, and a fictitious character, all that happens in here is
fictional... again, it's not true. If there are instances that it is
similar to what happened in the real world, it doesn't mean that it's
really true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the I
and the world know, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay
(but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of
speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know
NSYNC personally. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! But don't we all hope that it's
true... hehehehe...


* First Words *

Hi guys. This is my 3rd work here in the boyband section of the Nifty
Archives. I dunno why I called it "What I See" but I just ran out of ideas
for a title and thought of something simple. So the title, What I See was
born *giggle*. I dunno if I can manage my 3 stories at the same time but
Crossed Paths is in its "season break" and Reformation is still there. But
I'll really try my best to update all my stories. Remember, I love
feedbacks.

Mail me at my NEW Addie at
windang@softhome.net


------------------------
 What I See Chapter 28
------------------------

"What are you doing here, Justin?" I asked as we approached Justin who was
sitting on the ground. He must have waited for us. The porch wasn't really
a well-lit place so I couldn't see Justin's face. I couldn't read the
expression of his face.

"I don't know where to go." Justin said softly. Josh was helping him stand
up while I opened the front door. Pookie was barking like crazy. I picked
her up and let Justin and Josh enter. I finally got a good glimpse of
Justin's face. There were tears cascading down his cheeks.

"What happened, Jus?" Josh asked as he laid him on the couch. But he didn't
answer. He just sobbed. Pookie was getting restless because she didn't
really like Justin before and she still didn't like Justin at that
moment. I brought her to the kitchen and closed the door so she couldn't go
anywhere. She just barked and barked.

When I returned in the den, Justin's face was pressed again Josh's chest
and Josh was trying to comfort Justin by stroking his back. Justin was
still crying. I walked to their direction and sat beside Josh. "Jus, what's
the matter?" I asked.

"I don't know where I can go. It's just too much for me to handle." Justin
cried. I looked at Josh and he just gave me a faint smile. I wanted to ask
more questions because he just gave a very vague answer but looking at his
state, I knew that he was in no condition to answer anything.

All I could do was sigh. There was nothing I could do more. "Jus, why don't
you sleep it through? I'll prepare the guest room for you. Tomorrow, we can
talk about it if you want and maybe you'll feel better tomorrow as well." I
told him. Justin didn't answer but Josh nodded at me. I left the two of
them and walked up the stairs to prepare the guest room. Questions were
racing in my mind with the reason why Justin was here. It just didn't make
sense for me.

First of all, why here? I knew that Chris, Lance and Joey would take him
in. And of course, his mom! I've read things about his closeness with his
mom. Certainly, he could have picked her. Second, there's the question
what's the matter? If Justin had a problem before JC left, he would have
told me knowing JC. So, this must be something that happened once Josh
left. It was just so mystifying.

I grabbed some clean sheets and pillows from the closet. I changed the
sheets knowing that it hasn't been used so much and I wanted to make sure
it was clean before Justin would sleep on it. I placed more pillows for
Justin hoping it would make his night more comfortable -- he needs it. I
was already finished when Josh and Justin walked inside. Josh was
half-carrying Justin already. "Is he drunk?" I mouthed to Josh. He just
shrugged.

Josh laid Justin down on the bed. I was removing his shoes and socks while
Josh was helping Justin out of his shirt. Once I was done, Josh was
struggling with the shirt because Justin wasn't really cooperating. He just
kept on crying and crying. I was debating with myself if I should remove
his pants as well but Josh started at it already. When Josh unbuttoned his
pants, I pulled at the legs of the pants and the pants slipped out. He was
just wearing a pair of boxer briefs. I covered his near nude body with the
blanket.

"We're just in the next room, okay?" Josh said sweetly as he stroked
Justin's hair. I started at the door.

"Kyle, Josh." Justin said. "I'm sorry for ruining your time together. I
just didn't know where else to go." He told us.

"You don't need to apologize Justin. I'm glad that you came here." I told
him with a smile. Josh was beside me then. "Good night Justin. We'll see
you tomorrow." I told him and closed the door.

"That's weird." Josh told me.

"What's weird?" I asked.

"Justin crying and appearing here." Josh replied.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it when I was setting the room." I told
him. "You've been with him during the tour. What gives?" I asked him.

"I'm oblivious like you. He's still the same fun guy when I left
them. Something probably happened when I wasn't there. Or maybe it just got
too much for him to handle and he had to bring it out. I'm not really sure
though." Josh replied as we entered our bedroom. Our bedroom. That sounded
nice.

"Do you think he's gonna be okay there alone in the room?" I asked as I
pulled my shirt off readying myself for bed.

"I hope so. If he can't deal with it, he'll just knock here." Josh
answered. We stripped down to our underwear and cleaned up a little bit in
the bathroom. I was really exhausted because of all the "activities" that
Josh and I did and of course dealing with my family. I couldn't even
imagine my life while in tour. Things would definitely change.

Once done, I laid down on the bed and waited for Josh. He wasn't done
yet. After a few seconds, he emerged from the bathroom and laid down beside
me. I placed my head on his firm chest and tried to listen to his heart. It
was beating slowly like he was really relaxed. "I think this day went
fine." Josh told me.

"Yup. Everything is great." I agreed. "I love you Josh." I said as I closed
my eyes.

"I love you too." I heard Josh say and I drifted off to a relaxed slumber.

When I woke up the next day, Josh and I were locked in an embrace. I
wondered how we got in that position. Anyway, I looked at him and he was
still sleeping. I knew I couldn't escape his grasp because of the way his
hands were clasped around me. Thank God that my bladder wasn't full and I
could still bear it. I just enjoyed the feeling.

It was my last full day in sunny Florida so I really have to settle all of
the things that I was gonna leave behind. I have to call Matt and inform
him that I was gonna go in a trip but I was still gonna send him the
updates that he wanted. I have to ask Paul to stay in the house and I have
to bring Pookie to my parent's house. I have to pack as well. And of
course, deal with Justin's problem. I just wanted to stay in the position I
was in and never change.

I felt Josh tense a little bit. He was probably stretching his body. I
looked at his face and slowly, his eyes opened. What great blue eyes he
have?! "Good morning." I said with my still hoarse voice. My voice wasn't
really pleasant during the morning.

"Morning." Josh said with a little bit of hoarseness. "Can we not leave
this position ever?" He asked.

"My thoughts exactly." I chuckled. "How I wish?" I sighed. I gave him a
kiss on the lips and tried to untangle myself. But he wouldn't let
me. Except, he kissed me more passionate. Uh-oh. Josh was horny -- not that
I was complaining.

After our little morning exercise, I walked to Justin's room to check on
him. I carefully opened the door and peeked in. "You can come in if you
want." I heard Justin say. So, I went inside.

"Good morning Justin." I said.

"Morning too." He answered with a smile. It wasn't his old charming smile
that could make my heart skip a beat -- he still had that effect. It was a
little bit sad but he wasn't trying to show it.

"Come on, let's make some breakfast. I'll drag Josh too and we can
experiment on some stuff." I told him dragging him off the bed where he was
sitting idly. He nodded and the two of us walked out of the room still
dragging him. I walked passed my bedroom and knocked. "Josh! Come on." I
said.

After a few seconds, Josh was out the door. We were all wearing shirts and
our underwear only but it was just us so it was okay -- I guess. We walked
to the kitchen and Josh scooped a barking Pookie. She still didn't like
Justin. "Can you feed her, Josh?" I asked.

He nodded.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked no one in particular.

"Anything will be fine for me." Justin answered meekly. I nodded and looked
at Josh.

"Pancakes!" He exclaimed with a grin. I rolled my eyes and opened the
cupboard to get a instant pancake mix.

I was cooking while Josh was still playing with Pookie. That dog has been
spoiled rotten by Josh. Anyway, Justin was just quiet sitting on the chair
watching me. I didn't want to let him know that I knew that he was watching
me as I cooked. Maybe I felt a little awkward since the two of us had a
history before and it didn't really go well after that. I was surprised
myself when he was being civil with me. The last time we met, he wanted to
kill me -- I think.

I tried to concentrate with my task. I was trying not to be too
self-conscious as well. "I'll bring Pookie outside, okay?" Josh chimed as
he carried the dog outside not letting me answer. He left me and Justin
alone in the kitchen. I was secretly planning how to make Josh suffer for
what he did. He knew that I wasn't comfortable with Justin and he leaves us
alone.

"Kyle, do you have a minute?" Justin asked breaking the uncomfortable
silence. I tensed a little bit not really knowing what to expect from
Justin.

Still mixing the batter, I turned around and looked at him. "Sure." I said
with a smile. "What's up?" I asked as I sat in front of him still mixing
the batter.

"I know that you wanna know why I just appear here." Justin said.

"Jus, just go straight to the point." I told him.

"I was alone in my house and felt how alone I was. I wanted to go to the
others but I know that they won't understand." He said.

"Why here?" I asked.

"I'm getting to that point." Justin replied. "I know that you and Josh are
the only ones who can understand me, especially you. You know that I love
you since day 1 but thigns just didn't work out. I have come to terms with
that. You're with Josh now." He said that removed a burden from my back. I
really felt relieved. I didn't know that his acceptance was a great burden
for me. "But I know also that you are the only ones that can understand
me. I can't go to my mom because she doesn't know that I'm gay. If I go to
Chris or Joey, they'll just say that I need a lay but I don't need it. All
I need is a loving, healthy relationship. And I know that you and Josh can
provide that even if it's nothing like boyfriend stuff. But just as
friends." Justin said.

My hand was still mixing as my mind thought about what Justin said. "I know
what you mean. I did tell you that if you need me, I'm always here." I said
with a smile.

"Thanks." Justin smiled.

Pookie then ran inside the house with Josh running behind acting like a
monster or something. Pookie was standing between my legs probably from
protection. "Josh! Don't tease the dog! She's sensitive about these stuff."
I scolded Josh as I picked Pookie up petting her.

"Sorry." Josh said with a smile. Justin on the other hand was
snickering. "What's so funny?" Josh asked.

"Nothing." Justin replied trying to stifle his laughter. But he failed. He
was then laughing out loud and Pookie was barking at him. I looked at Josh
confused and he just mirrored my expression. "Don't you find it silly?"
Justin managed in between his fit.

"What?" I asked.

"Dog. You. Josh." He said and once again, he dissolved in a fit of
laughter. I tried to recall and I joined him laughing. Josh was laughing by
then as well. It broke the ice.

Once we recomposed ourselves, I started to cook the batter. Josh and Justin
were talking about Justin's new venture in his solo album. I didn't really
understand much because they were chatting about the production of the
songs and such. It wasn't my cup of coffee. But if they talked about
websites or networks, they would hear a lot from me.

After a few minutes, I placed the first batch of pancakes on the
table. "Eat." I said and returned cooking. The two were like girls
gossipping. I could hear some familiar names and some stories about them
but I didn't really pay that much attention because I wouldn't need that
information anyway. But when I talk with Ken, he would love those! "Here's
the last batch." I said sitting down beside Josh.

I placed a few on my plate and started eating. The two were still talking
and I tried to keep up with their conversation adding some stuff and some
interjections. Still, it was great to find Justin finally smiling and
having a ball. The depressed Justin of last night was long gone and the
Justin I know was back.

When we were done, we all helped in cleaning up the mess. I had to hurry
since I have to finish some errands and tie up some loosends before my trip
tomorrow. "Josh? Did you reserve me a flight or something?" I asked him a
little bit embarrassed. It wasn't my nature to depend on someone but if he
had reserved me a ticket, I didn't want to waste any money.

"Thanks for reminding me." Josh said. "He's coming with us!" Josh informed
Justin happily as he walked to the phone. He was already dialing the number
of the airlines when I grabbed the phone from him.

"Josh, I can pay for my own fare." I told him. He took the phone from my
hands.

I grasped on the phone not letting it go. "I know but I want to pay for
it." Josh said.

"I don't want you to spend money on me especially when I can get my own." I
said.

"Kyle, I have loads of money that I don't need. This won't do any harm."
Josh retorted.

"Quit arguing you two." Justin said interrupting me. "I already reserved
for your flight and I'm paying." Justin said pointing at me and his cell
phone. I just rolled my eyes.

"Thank you." I said to Justin. "I have to take a bath so I can start with
my errands. I have to bring Pookie to mom. I have to ask Paul about
house-sitting. I have to get soem work from Matt. Then I have to pack my
clothes and check on stuff." I was starting to babble already.

"Want some company?" Josh asked me with mischief obvious in his eyes. I
glanced at Justin who seemed to be pained with that.

"Not now, Josh. Be with Justin for now. I need to hurry up so I can finish
them early." I told him even if I really wanted him to come with me. What I
do for friends?! A pout was starting to form in Josh's face. "You know,
Justin is more effective with that." I said with a grin.

Josh just rolled his eyes. I spun around and left the two to their own
devices. I walked upstairs to take a bath. It's one of those long days --
again.

-------------------
End of Chapter

I can't believe I wrote this chapter. I really have a very busy week (and
also the next) and I wrote something. I'm proud of that one! LoL! Thank you
time management. Anyway, it's pretty much an empty chapter. But I'm trying
to write light chapters because when the tour comes, it's gonna be
hell. *grin* As always, EMAILS ARE WANTED AND ENCOURAGED! email is
windang@softhome.net

Oh yeah, I totally forgot about Justin, Joey and Nick's birthdays! They
celebrated their birthdays this month and I really hope they enjoyed their
birthdays. Also, please vote for JC's single, Blowin' Me Up (With Her
Love). It's a great track and it deserves to be #1 anywhere.

Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and MAILED me! I truly
appreciate it very much. It's really nice to know if there are people who
are actually reading what I write. A big big shout out to Danny and Chris!

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those
feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line
okay? I also have most of the IM programs out there and I'm usually on,
hopefully you can catch me.

AIM : pseud0ry
Yahoo! : yr_ry
MSN : yr_ry_@hotmail.com

Also, I'm usually in the boyband chatroom.

email address:
windang@softhome.net

EMAIL me.

2A big big "HI" to all my new friends in the Nifty Boyband chatroom, Nifty
Writers room, and Crazy!!! There are too many names to mention but I guess
Dru, Duckie and CJ are my frequent chatmates! So a big "hello" to the three
of you! I wanna give a big shout out to my Danish pals, Chris and
Danny. They have always given nice bits of advice to me especially when I
felt low. I hope you two won't ever break up! :-) And finally, David!!!!
Thank you very much for maintaining the Nifty archives. Without him, we
won't be able to read any of the best slash stories.