Date: Sun, 17 Sep 2000 12:07:26 -0500
From: Angel Lenoir <angel_lenoir@angelfire.com>
Subject: What is Love 5
Well people here it is. The much awaited Chapter 5. Will Justin and Angel
actually get together this time? Well I'm not going to say right now.
After all I wouldn't want to ruin it for all of you now would I?
Anyway, a couple of shout outs to some people out there. Clive, what can I
say man? You've been there for me through some tough times already. I
really appreciate it. Tiny, you're awesome. I've really enjoyed getting to
know you. DDP, Zak, you guys are great. I'm glad that you two decided to
give it a go. Thanks for the love and the support that you've shown
me. Randy, dude, you rock. I'm so glad that I got to know you. Swimmer,
you rule. I'll be seeing you. I would also like to thank everyone that
I've met in the chat room. You guys are awesome. I also want to thank
everyone that's written me encouraging me to continue my writing. It means
the world to me. Without all the encouraging things that have been
written, I'm sure that I wouldn't have had the will to continue with some
of the chapters. As it is, I have and I have yet another chapter in the
making. Thank all of you.
As always this story in no way implies that any of the guys from NSYNC are
gay. It's simply a fantasy of mine and of several other people. Now for
the legality issue: if you're not of age then hit the back button now (yeah
right), if it's illegal to read such things where you live at then leave
now (I'd love to see it), or if it's against your religion then leave now
(if it is then get a new one, I did! :p ). However if none of these
things affect you then read on and enjoy!
What is Love?
5
Last time:
"Justin, thanks for your concern. I really do appreciate it. The thing is
if you harm him in anyway it'll ruin your career. Mine is just starting,
so I don't have a career to worry about. I don't want you jeopardizing
your career for me." I said as I followed Joey toward the exit. It was
for this reason that I didn't hear Justin's reply as he grabbed his bags.
"Angel, I'd jeopardize a lot more than my career for you." He
whispered to himself as he got his stuff and followed behind us.
Now:
As I made my way off of the plane, I was surprised that there wasn't anyone
at the airport. Joey must have seen the questioning look on my face and
realized what it was for. Looking over at me, he smiled. "No one knows
that we're coming in tonight," he said, "It helps us avoid all the crowds
when we arrive this late." I nodded and continued down the steps. As we
reached the lobby, I noticed a couple of people sitting there. As I looked
at them, I knew that something seemed familiar about them, but I couldn't
place it until Justin hurried past me. "Mom!" he cried as he grabbed the
woman into a hug.
"Justin, I'm glad you're home." She said as she hugged him back.
"Me too," he said as he pulled back from the hug. "Mom, I want you
to meet some friends of mine. Angel, come here and bring the rest of your
group."
"Okay," I said as the guys and I started over.
"Mom, this is Angel, Kim, Mike, Jon, and Erin." Justin said as he
pointed out each of us.
"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Harlis," I said as I extended my hand.
Ignoring the hand, she pulled me into a gentle hug. "Please call
me," she said, "I'm sorry about what happened and I want you to know that
you can rest assured that nothing will happen to you while you are here,"
she whispered into my ear before she pulled away. For the first time in a
long time, I felt safe.
"Thank you," I whispered back to her. Then I turned to the rest of
the guys, "So are we ready to go? I could really use some shut-eye."
It took us nearly thirty minutes to get our baggage. By the time
that we had gathered it all I could barely keep my eyes open. As we walked
out the door, I was surprised to see that there wasn't a limo. I hadn't
realized how dependent I'd become on them already until there wasn't one
there. As I looked around, I noticed several cars parked in front of the
entrance. As I looked on, I was surprised when an attendant approached the
group.
"Mr. Lenoir?" he asked aloud.
"Yes?" I said from the back of the group.
"We have your car ready. If you'll please follow me, then I'll
show you to it."
"My car?" I asked in surprise, "But who ordered it? I know that I
didn't."
"I'm not sure sir. All that I know is that I was told to have your
car waiting for you when you got off the plane."
As I looked around toward the guys for support, I was shocked to
see grins plastered all across their faces. I knew then that something was
up. "Okay, what's going on here?"
"Nothing." Everyone replied.
"Guys seriously, what's going on? I can tell from the looks on
your faces that something is up. Come on guys. Tell me! Please?" I
pleaded as I gave them a puppy dog look. Now let me break for a moment and
brag. Puppy dog looks are my specialty. I have yet to meet anyone that
has been able to resist telling me anything when I give that look. Well
anyone except my mother, but that's another story altogether.
"No! Not the look!" Kim said in mock horror as she saw me.
"Please?" I said as I put more emphasis on the look.
"Don't let me see it!" I heard Justin exclaim as he hid behind JC.
Motioning for the others to stay quiet, I snuck up behind Justin.
As I tapped him on the shoulder, I put the look back on my face, causing
the others to snicker softly. As Justin turned to see who was tapping him
on the shoulder, he got a real close look at me, and that was all that it
took. Within seconds he had crumbled.
"I got the car for you. I remembered how you'd told me that you
like Mustangs. I figured since I wouldn't let you drive mine that I'd let
you have one of your own to drive, so I called ahead and set it up so that
you would have one. The guys knew about it, and we thought that we'd keep
it a secret until you got here."
"Justin!" I heard as people started shouting and dog piling him
before he was through.
"Thanks babe." I said before I realized what had come out of my
mouth. As everyone realized what I'd said they all got quiet and stared at
me. "What? It just came out! Besides, Justin is a babe you know!" I said
with a sly wink at Justin that caused him to turn red before I turned and
walked past the attendant that was staring open mouthed at the scene. As I
passed him, I looked at him and asked, "So are you going to show me to my
car or what?"
"Uh, yeah. Right this way, sir." He said as he jerked back to
reality and quickly headed off in the direction of the car.
As I followed the attendant, I could hear the others laughing and
Justin asking in a confused voice, "Did he say that I was a babe?"
Within minutes I was approaching a silver Mustang. I know that my
mouth dropped open. The car was beautiful. It was everything that I ever
wanted in a car. It was silver, had leather interior, and best of all I
hadn't paid for it. Not that I couldn't pay for it now, but to be honest
with you I would have loved the car if it had been a clunker because Justin
was the one that had got it for me. Okay, I know call me weird, but that's
the romantic part of me coming out.
"Your car sir." The attendant said as he handed me the keys and
started back toward the entrance.
As I was getting into the car, I heard a voice hollering at me.
"Angel!"
As I looked back, I saw Justin running toward the car. Within
seconds he had reached it and was jumping in the vehicle.
"I thought that you were going to leave without me!" he said as he
settled down in the seat.
"I didn't know that you wanted to ride with me. Last I saw you
were still embarrassed about the babe comment," I said with a smile.
"Hey, I can't help it if I'm good looking." Justin said as he
preened himself in the mirror.
"I said you were a babe, I didn't say you were good looking," I
said with a laugh. As I said this I noticed a flicker of what seemed to be
disappointment come across Justin's face. As the engine roared to life
though, I soon forgot about it in my excitement. As I peeled out of the
parking lot, I looked over to find Justin smiling at me. "What?" I asked.
"I'm just remember my first time to drive one of these things. I
think that I did the same thing!" he said with a chuckle.
"Was it just you in there or did you have a passenger?"
"Oh, my mom was there with me."
"I bet you scared the shit out of here." I said without thinking.
Then as I realized what I'd said, I quickly tried to backtrack. "Uh, I
mean the crap out of her."
"Nah, you're right. I did scare the shit out of her." Justin said
with a laugh. "You should have seen it." Justin said as he tried to
imitate his mother's voice. "Justin, you slow this car down right now.
Justin, if you don't slow down right now, you're going to get pulled over.
JUSTIN SLOW YOUR ASS DOWN RIGHT NOW!"
After hearing the last part, I couldn't help it and burst out
laughing, only to be reminded that it still hurt. Soon the laughter had
turned into gasps for breath as the pain coursed through my sides.
"Angel are you okay?" Justin asked with a concerned look on his
face.
As I shook my head, I pulled the car over to the side of the road.
"You drive," I gasped out as I slid out of the car. With a worried look on
his face, Justin quickly got in the driver's seat and quickly pulled back
onto the road. About 30 minutes later we were pulling up into Justin's
driveway. As we came to a stop I noticed that the others were already
there. When they saw Justin driving and me slumped against the passenger
door, they came running to the car.
"What happened?" Mike demanded.
"I don't know. Everything was fine then he started gasping for
air. He pulled over and insisted that I drive."
"Angel, are you okay?" Kim was asking me during Justin's
explanation.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just tried to do too much too soon." I said with
a gasp. "Help me out of the car, would you?" I asked her as I extended my
hand towards her. I was surprised when Justin grabbed it instead, but then
realized that I was probably too heavy for Kim to carry anyway, and I knew
that I wasn't going to be walking on my own.
As we reached the door, it was flung open as Lance and JC came
running out. "What happened," they both cried at the same time as Lance
took a position on my other side to help support me.
"He pushed himself too far too fast. I warned you that he would,
but did you listen to me?" Kim said with a snort as she brushed past us
into the house.
Several agonizing minutes later Justin was lying me down on a bed.
The trip up the stairs had nearly done me in, but somehow I had managed to
make it. As Justin got up to leave, I reached out and grabbed him. "Justin
wait a minute. I need you to do me a favor."
"Sure, what do you need?"
"Look in my bag and bring me out the pain pills," I started to say
when Lance appeared with them and a glass of water.
"I figured that you'd need these." He said as he handed them to me.
Between him and Justin, they were able to help me sit up and take the
pills.
"Thanks," I managed to whisper.
"Angel, I hope that I don't upset you, but can I ask you one
thing?" Justin asked timidly.
"Sure, ask me what ever you want."
"Why'd you do it?"
"Why'd I do what?"
"Why'd you over push yourself? You know what the doctor said."
Justin said softly.
"Justin, let me ask you a question. Have you ever felt like you
didn't belong?"
"Yeah, everyone does at some point in their life."
"Try living your whole life like that. I never felt like I
belonged. When I lived with my dad, the only way that I knew he loved me
was because of the abuse. When I lived with my mother and my stepfather, I
felt like I was there to be a slave. I was there to look after my sisters
while they worked and did what they wanted to do and could never do what I
wanted to do. Through high school, I was always ahead of my classes
because it was an escape for me. I worked harder than anyone else did not
because I had to but because I wanted to. It let me escape my life because
I didn't belong. The only time I felt like I belonged is when I was
singing. My whole life I always wanted to sing. Then I met Kim, Mike,
Jon, and Erin. Suddenly I belonged. They became my family. The fact that
we were singing became second place in my life. For the first time I
belonged. That was the reason that I sent in our tape. It wasn't for me.
It was for them. I didn't want them to lose what they enjoyed doing. Now
we have a chance to sing professionally, and Justin I'm not going to hold
them back. If I listen to the doctor, then that's at least a week that is
gone. I've got to push myself. I owe it to them."
"I understand what you're saying, but why?" Justin said.
"Why? It's because they're my family. I'd do anything for them.
You see Justin, I would give my life for any of them and they'd do the same
for me. I know because they already did it once."
"What happened?" Lance asked softly.
"Well you remember me telling you about how my mother treated me
when I came out to her? I was devastated. Even though I never felt like I
belonged there, she was my mother and I loved her. For her to treat me
like that caused me to think that I was worthless. That night while Kim
was yelling at my parents, I lost it. I broke down and ran out of the
house. When Kim couldn't find me, she called Erin, Jon, and Mike. They
were there in minutes. It took them several hours to find me. I had
driven down to a bridge below my house and was getting ready to jump. I
was in the process of jumping when Mike grabbed me. I nearly pulled him
over with me, and if it hadn't been for the others grabbing him then we
both would have gone over. That was when I knew how much they loved me. I
knew from that moment that I'd do anything for them." I finished with tears
running down my cheeks.
"Oh man. I'm so sorry Angel." Lance said as he hugged me gently.
"Me too. I'm sorry that we asked." Justin said as he joined the
hug.
"Don't be sorry. You didn't know. Besides, if I hadn't wanted you
to know, then I wouldn't have told you." I said with a slight smile.
"I don't understand you." Justin said, "If I had had half of the
things happen to me that have happened to you then I know that I wouldn't
have found the reason to go on."
"Justin, life is a precious thing. I found that out the hard way.
It took me nearly loosing mine to understand that. Sure it's not always
what you want it to be. The thing about it though, is that you make your
life what you want it to be. Anyone can take charge of his or her life.
You just have to have the reason to reach out and take charge. I found my
reason that night. When Mike, Jon, Erin, and Kim risked their own lives
for me, then I found a reason to keep living. They were that reason. I
don't know what I would have done without them, but I know that I wouldn't
be here right now. I wouldn't be singing like I wanted to, and I wouldn't
have met two great guys." I said as I smiled gently at Justin and Lance.
"Don't get me wrong, it's not an easy thing to do taking control. As
humans we are often content to sit back and let things happen and then we
accept the consequences. Taking control for yourself means that you have
to work for it. Sometimes you have to work harder than others do, that is
the reason that I push myself so much. Does that make sense guys?"
"Yeah it does," a voice said from the doorway. I looked up as Mike
walked into the room.
"I'm sorry but I heard you talking while I was outside, and I
couldn't stand out there anymore." Mike said as he came over and gave me a
hug. "I've often wondered what keeps you going Angel. Now I know, and I
can honestly say that I'm proud to have you in my life. You'll always
belong with me and the others," he said with tears in his eyes.
"I know Mike." I said as the tears started to fall again.
"And you belong with us also." Justin said as he laid a hand on my
shoulder. "It's not often that we meet someone that we can trust, but
Angel we knew from the first day that we met you that we could trust you.
I'm just sorry that we didn't show that same trust to you that night."
"Just, forget about it. Too often we let ourselves believe what
people tell us. We don't think for ourselves. To most of the people in
the US, homosexuality and bisexuality is wrong. That was the reason that
you reacted the way that you did. It wasn't that you didn't like me for
who I was, it's that you couldn't see past the stereotype that surrounded
the word. I'm proud of you for learning to look past the word and see the
person inside. After all we're all human. Like I told Lance, some of us
are born straight, some of us are born crooked, and then you have those
that are in the middle. I happen to fall in the middle."
As we sat there and talked, I realized how tired I was. Listening
to the guys talk, I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. One of the
last things that I heard Mike saying, "You really like him a lot don't
you?" and then I was asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, there was once again a body
snuggled up to me. As I looked over at the sleeping person next to me, I
was once again surprised to find Justin in my bed. As I looked at him the
feelings that I had been wondering about returned. What did I feel for
Justin? I knew that I liked him, but did it go further? I'd always
thought that he was good looking, but could it be that I actually had
feelings that went beyond the feelings of a crush or the feelings of
friendship? As I looked down at the angel sleeping next to me, I had to
admit that I did. Suddenly the words to a song popped into my head. As I
jumped out of bed, I looked around for something to write on. Finding a
sheet of paper, I quickly started to scribble down the words that came to
me.
Though we had our problems, our troubles, our strife,
I realized that I needed you in my life.
Whether we could ever be more than friends, I didn't know.
And until I found out I was taking it slow.
But I couldn't deny my feelings for you.
You were my sun, sweet as the morning dew.
What is love, but a simple thing?
Where two hearts together can sing.
And in their joy they become one.
And stay together in a song that's never done.
A song of love is what they sing
And of the happiness that each can bring.
Yes, what is love but a simple thing?
As I was scribbling, I didn't hear Justin wake up and come to stand
behind me. I was so involved in what I was writing that it took him
reaching out and touching the paper for me to realize that someone was
there. As I glanced up at him, I smiled and gently removed his hand from
the paper. As I touched his hand a feeling of warmth spread throughout my
body, and I quickly set it down on the desk next to the paper.
"Sorry, but you're getting in the way of an artist at work." I said
as I pointed a finger at the hand. "Justin you better tell your hand to
stay away from the paper if it wants to stay connected to its arm."
"I will," he said with a laugh. "By the way, those words have some
powerful feelings behind it. Who's the lucky girl or guy?" he asked.
"What do you mean? It's just a song." I said with a quick glance
at him.
"Angel obviously you care for someone a great deal and it's obvious
to me that this song is for them. I was just curious as to who it is.
It's Mike isn't it? I've seen the way that you guys look at each other. I
can't believe that I didn't see it earlier," he said with a hint of was it
jealousy in his voice?
"No, it's not Mike." I said with a laugh. "Mike's like a brother
to me. Could you imagine doing it with your brother? Can we say gross
city?" I asked with a laugh.
"Okay, so it's not Mike. I would have thought that you would have
gone after him. He's really cute." Justin said. Then as he realized what
he'd said his face turned read and he clamped a hand over his mouth. "I
can't believe I said that!" he said with a laugh a couple of minutes later.
"Angel, you're rubbing off on me. Are you sure that bisexuality isn't
contagious?" he said with a grin toward me.
"Well if it is, then maybe it'll rub off on you." I said without
thinking. It was only after he got quiet that I realized what I'd done.
"Justin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. God, I'm such an idiot. Can you
forgive me?"
"Forgive you for what? Maybe I want it to rub off on me," he said
as he slowly leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. As he drew back,
I could see what he was feeling in his eyes. As he looked at me, I saw all
the feelings that he'd been hiding from me, and I knew that as he looked
into my eyes he was seeing the same things in mine. Slowly we leaned in
and kissed each other again. This time more passionately as my tongue
brushed across his lips and he eagerly sucked it into his mouth. As our
tongues wrestled, we didn't hear the door open. It was only when we heard
someone clear their throat that we realized we weren't alone anymore. As
we broke apart, I was horrified to see Lynn standing in the doorway.
"Mom!" Justin gasped.
"Lynn!" I almost shouted at the same time.
Inside I was a sea of emotions. I had just found the person that I
would willingly risk it all for and kissed them. The fact that the person
was Justin Timberlake was bad due the amount of fame, but to make matters
even worse, his mother had walked in on us during our first kiss. This was
going to be bad.
Well that's it for this chapter. Don't you just love these cliffhangers? ;p
At this time I would like to give you some other stories to read that I've
read and enjoy. First off is Brian and Me, a great story by a great
author. Other stories here
Let me know what you think. You can get a hold of me several ways:
Email: angel_lenoir@angelfire.com
ICQ: 64742298
AIM: angellenoir
Microsoft Instant Messenger: angel_lenoir
While I won't guarantee a response, I will promise to at least try to get
one out to everyone that writes me. I appreciate all of your support, and
I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out, but a lot of things
happened that set it back. Fortunately I've managed to get everything
worked out and hopefully you'll see a lot more chapters soon.