Date: Wed, 2 Jan 2002 17:49:18 +0100 (CET)
From: Zelda <zeldium@yahoo.no>
Subject: What makes a Man- Part 5

Disclaimer: The same as the others; don't know, nor own the guys, even as
much as I'd like to, and this story is not to represent the guys'
sexuality, as I don't know that. This is just a story, fiction, and should
not be taken too seriously.

The lyrics are taken from 'All you Want' by Dido. Though I skipped parts of
it, that didn't really fit into the story.

Zelda (zeldium@yahoo.no)

----------------
All you want.

'I'd like to watch you sleep at night
To hear you breathe, by my side
And although sleep leaves me behind, there's nowhere I'd rather be
And now our bed is oh, so cold
My hand's feel empty, no one to hold'

"I mean, of course it makes me think, I was in love with Shane, and he said
he wasn't into anything like this, so when I hear something like
this... but it doesn't... bother me!" Mark said, a bit reluctant.

Kian looked at Mark. "If it bothers you, just tell me. I understand it
perfectly well. It bothers me as well..." he said, and went to a sofa
nearby, and sat down.

Mark followed him and sat down next to him. "What do you mean?"

"The thought of Bryan and Shane sleeping together bothers me," Kian
answered, avoiding the real answer.

"Ok, I understood that, but why?"

Kian sighed, and looked away. "Bryan and I used to be an item..." he said.

Mark looked surprised at him. "Why didn't you tell me? I told you
everything about Shane; you could've trusted me with Bryan!"

Kian looked at him. "What for? I don't want to talk about Bryan, Ok? It
hurts enough as it does..." Kian rose up to leave.

Mark sat back, hurt and confused. He had just asked a question; he didn't
know how much Kian felt for and missed Bryan, and that there was nothing
he'd rather do, than to get back together with him.

'And I can't sleep what side I want
It's not the same, with you gone'

Bryan finally broke the kiss. Shane didn't really know what to say. He just
stared at Bryan. 

"Why... why did you just do that?" he asked. 

Bryan shrugged. "I wanted to, Shane. I wanted to... 'thank you', because
what happened last night meant a lot to me, as well."

Shane just stared back. He didn't know what to do. In a way he wanted to
answer something resemblance, but felt that if he did, he'd send out the
wrong signals.

"Bryan, you know that this night meant a lot to me, but you also know why
it did. Please don't confuse me more than necessary; I still don't know
what I feel about anything..."

The door to the lift opened, and they turned to see Nicky. "Hi guys," he
said and came into the lift.

"Hey Nicky," they both said quietly. Bryan inched away from Shane, and
leaned to the wall. But Nicky was too tired to notice the tension between
the two others anyway, and didn't notice the looks Bryan and Shane sent
each other.

'Oh, if you'd come home, I'd let you know that
All you want, is right here in this room
All you want
And all you need, is sitting here with you
All you want'

As Mark watched Kian walk away to Anto and started talking with him, he
felt that he had been slapped in the face. Ok, so it had been rude of Mark
to ask about something like that, but Kian didn't haft to react like
that... how could Mark know that Kian was very sensitive on that area?

Mark took his arms around himself, as if it was cold. But it wasn't
cold. It was more like protection.

As people walked by, he felt so exposed, as if they could read his face
like green and blue neon sign, and could tell what he was thinking, what he
was feeling. He knew very well that they couldn't, but as they were staring
at his way, he was sure they could see his feelings.

'What do you haft to be afraid of? What are you feeling? Exactly; nothing...' 

But when the lift opened, and he saw Shane coming out there, with Bryan and
Nicky, he knew he was just fooling himself.

He swallowed and looked down, admitting that he did feel something; his own
emptiness after pushing his feelings for Shane away to get over him...

'It's been three years, one night apart
But in that night, you tore my heart
If only you had slept alone
If those seeds, had not been sown'

Kian looked over at Mark, feeling a little bad about the way he had handled
the Bryan and Shane-discussion. He saw that he was feeling bad by the way
he was looking down. Then he saw that the others had come down too.

When he met Bryan's eyes, he had to look down too...

'Oh, you could come home, and you would know that
All you want, is right here in this room
All you want
And all you need, is sitting here with you
All you want'

"Well, now that you're all finally here... let's go!" Anto said. He sensed
that it would be a very long day. They didn't seem to have the good old
enthusiasm that they usually had. He knew that they could be tired, but
that didn't seem to be the problem, though it seemed like Nicky could've
slept a lot better.

With the others, he couldn't figure out what was going on. Kian and Mark
seemed to avoid each other. He just guessed they'd had a row, but when he
saw how they both stole glances from Bryan and Shane, that had suddenly
become so close, he wondered if there was something more to it...

'All you want is right there in that room
All you want
And all you want, is right there in that room
All you want'

When they finally were back at the hotel after a long and tiring day, Bryan
stopped Shane outside his room.

"Have you thought more about...?" he asked.

Shane blushed vaguely. "Well, there hasn't been much else to think
about..."  Bryan looked around them before he leaned to him.

Shane looked up at him, and closed his eyes, as Bryan found his way to his
lips, and engaged in a kiss.

Shane willingly kissed him back, but then broke it. "I don't want to do it
here..."

"Well, we could continue this in you room..." Bryan suggested.

Shane smiled, and then opened the door.

'I'd like to watch you sleep at night
To hear you breathe
By my side'