Date: Sun, 4 Mar 2001 16:51:49 -0800 (PST)
From: DreamKiid <dreamkiid@yahoo.com>
Subject: when i dream at night: chapter 3

When I Dream at Night
by:  DreamKiid

Disclaimer: The story involves a relationship, between a member of the
Backstreet Boys (who? You'll have to read and find out), and a rather
charming fellow. Yes, two guys. If that comes as a shock to you: 1. Your a
complete moron. 2. You need not procreate. 3. Press ALT and F4 at the same
time right... NOW!  Its a love story.. and that means there will be sex in
it.  That is if I can bring myself to writing it.  I think sex is very much
a part of a loving relationship, and that is why I want to include it.

Finally, this is fiction and not meant to imply anything about the true
sexuality of any member of the Backstreet Boys . If you are underage..
yadda yadda...  you shouldn't be reading this.. yadda.. ::mumbles:: (don't
get caught). ::mumbles::

Extra Note: For the introduction and background info, small description of
Jonathan, the main character, please check out Chapter 1.

Comments, Concerns, Criticisms, Praises: E-mail me at dreamkiid@yahoo.com


Chapter 3:


"There you are.  We were wondering where you had gone
off too," Kevin said as Brian walked into his room
followed by Nick.  AJ and Howie were already in
Kevin's room.  Howie was sitting in front of the TV,
while AJ sat on the floor looking through some papers.

"I found him hanging out with Jonathan," Nick informed
everyone.

"Well, take a seat.  I want to talk about the next few
days and what management is going to need from us."

Kevin went on for about half an hour talking about the
coming week.  Kevin talked to the guys about where
their focus needed to be and what was expected of each
of them.  If he didn't talk to them, management would
have an even tougher time trying to get each of them
to where they needed to be on time.  Everyone's
attention spans were pretty short, so Kevin did all he
did to keep them in check.  Once Kevin finished
talking, the guys just sat around for a while.

"So what did you all night, Brian?" Kevin asked,
taking a seat on his bed.

"I didn't do much.  I went to find Jonathan after
dinner and found him still sleeping in his room.  I
decided to keep him company while he ate dinner and
then we just chilled out for a while," Brian replied.

"He's a pretty cool guy, isn't he?" AJ joined the
conversation.

"He seems to be a nice guy," Howie spoke up, "He
doesn't seem like the type to kiss our asses just
because we're the bosses."

"He does seem like his in awe of us just because we're
the Backstreet Boys sometimes though," Kevin added.
"You guys shouldn't trust him too much just yet.  You
can never expect people's real intentions."

"Kevin, you are always so negative!  If Jonathan had
bad intentions, in using or something, he would be all
over us.  You've noticed how apprehensive he has been
when Nick has invited him to do things with us."

"Yeah Kevin.  Give him a chance before you label him a
'user.'  For all he knows he is heading back home once
the tour is over and returning to his everyday average
life," Nick spoke up.  He walked over to Kevin and
placed a hand on his shoulder.  "You shouldn't be so
quick to judge people."

Once the conversation was over, everyone made their
way out of Kevin's room and headed towards their own
bedrooms to call it a night.  Everyone was tired and
they knew they had a busy next few days.

***

I was getting ready for bed again.  I was incredibly
exhausted, even though I had taken a long nap before
Brian came knocking at my door.   Just as I was
getting into bed, my phone rang.


"Hey Jonathan.  What's up?" The voice on the other
side of the line said before I could even say 'hello.'

"Hey..." I responded knowing exactly who it was.
"Don't get too exited over there!"
"I'm sorry.   I'm doing pretty good."
"What are you doing?" .
"Nothing, I just got back from dinner a little while
ago."
"What did you do all day?"
"Oh you know, nothing interesting.  We made it to St.
Louis pretty early and I came to my room and ended up
falling asleep."

"How are they treating you out there?"
"Great." I answered, agitated by the line of
questions.
"Why didn't you call me last night?  I thought I told
you to call me?"
"I'm sorry but we had to board the busses pretty late
and I was just too tired."
"But I thought I made it clear I wanted you to call
me?"  The person raised his voice.
"I know, but like I said, I was just too tired.  I'm
really sorry."
"Don't let it happen again, ok?!"
"How are thing in New York?" I tried changing the
conversation.
"As good as they can be without you here."
"I'm sure your doing fine," I said.  "You've never
been one to stay at home sulking."
"I'd be better if you were here with me or, if I was
there with you like we had talked about."
"You know that wasn't possible.  Plus, you couldn't
get time off work yourself."
"Listen Jonathan.  Someone is at the door so I better
get going."
"Who is it?"  I asked.
"Don't worry about it.  What time is tomorrow night's
concert over?"
"I'll probably be back at the hotel at 11."  I
answered.
"Well, I'll give you a call at 11:30.  I hope to find
you in your room."
"You will," I said, not wanting to argue, for I knew
I'd lose the argument.  "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

The person on the other side of the line ended the
conversation without so much of a goodnight.  'I don't
know why I put up with him!' I thought as I hung up
the phone.  I walked back over to my bed, kicked my
shoes off.   I sat at the edge of my bed, thinking.
'Things cannot stay the same way any longer!  I can't
continue to live like this.'  I finally forced myself
to decided on making a decision on something I had
been avoiding for quite some time.

***

In another room of the hotel, Brian Littrell, was
having his own phone conversation.  This conversation,
was a pleasant one though.

"Hello?"
"Hey cutie!"  Brian cooed into the phone.
"So what's up with you and this kid you were talking
to me about yesterday?"
"Nothing, nothing's up," Brian said coyly.
"Yeah right!  Come on Brian, you're going to tell me
eventually so just spill it now," Tyler said.

"Well, I..."
"You really like him," Tyler spoke up, interrupting
Brian.  "Here we go again."
"That do you mean, 'here we go again,' Tyler?"
"Just what I said, here we go again.  It just seems
like you fall in love with at least one boy every
tour!" Tyler said.
"I do not fall in love with every boy!" Brian said
getting defensive.  "I can't believe you think that!"

"Brian!  I know you better than anyone else.  I can
tell when you like someone just by the tone of your
voice."
"Oh please!  You cannot!"
"Give me some credit Brian.  I've known you for close
to 7 years now.  I know you better than anyone else,
and I can certainly tell when you are interested in
someone."

"Well, this time its different Tyler!" Brian said, not
bothering to argue any further with Tyler over how
well he knew him.  After all, Brian knew that Tyler
knew him better than anyone else.  Tyler knew Brian
better than even Kevin, who had grown up with Brian
and spend almost every day with him being in the
Backstreet Boys.

"I hope your not getting your hopes up over this guy
Brian.  We both know how these things usually turn
out."

"Who knows, really.  I'm really not expecting anything
at all.  I know not to get my hopes up by now.  Lord
knows you remind me every time not to.  I just hate
being alone, you know?  I've been able to handle it in
the past but I don't know how much longer I can keep
it up.  You say it is all great being on the road and
all, and not that I'm complaining, but it gets too be
too much sometimes."

"I know its not all great being on the road, but don't
tell me you didn't know when you joined the Backstreet
Boys that you were going to have to make a lot of
sacrifices," Tyler said.  "You were told from the very
beginning from everyone that it wasn't going to be
easy."

"I knew I was going to have to make a lot of
sacrifices.  Everyone made it extremely clear to me.
I just didn't expect to sacrifice my happiness Tyler,"
Brian said in a desperate tone.

"I understand that you are getting to a point in your
life where your career isn't the most important thing
on your list, but its still up there Brian.  You can't
be thinking of throwing everything away just because
your personal life isn't where you want it to be right
now."

"Tyler, I'm not thinking of throwing everything away!
I just want something more, something more substantial
in my life.  Platinum records and sold out shows are
great and all, but they don't compare to having love."

"Well, you are only 25 years old Brian.  You are still
young.  There is plenty of time for you to find love,
more than enough.  It just takes time."

"You know that with my schedule I can't afford to take
my time."

"And that lack of time is the reason why you are
always falling for someone on tour with you guys!"
Tyler said, trying to lighten the conversation.  "More
specifically, you are always falling for very straight
guys!"

"I can't help it!  A lot of cute and sweet guys end up
coming on tour with us!  I can't help the fact that
they are straight.  Lord knows I've tried to change
that!  I especially can't help liking them.  I'm only
human," Brian said.

"All I am saying is to be careful.  I hate seeing you
get hurt when you realize things just can't work out.
This guy is probably straighter than an arrow, just
like the rest of them, and I don't want you going head
over heels over someone you can't have."

"I know, but still.  I'm allow to dream, aren't I?
All I have is my dreams right now.  I'm sure not
getting any real loving."

"Yeah, well keep on dreaming but just don't go acting
out your dreams.  Let us not forget who you are, Mr.
Backstreet Boy!  Don't forget that not everyone is as
accepting and as trustworthy as that one guy you came
out to."

"Thank you for reminding me once again about that guy,
Tyler.  Especially about being a Backstreet Boy.  Its
not like I get reminded about that every waking
moment."

"Just remember what I told you.  You knew what you
were getting into!  So enjoy it Mr. Backstreet Boy!
Go have some fun and stop moping around!  Anyway, I
need some rest so I will talk to you tomorrow since
I'll probably be getting a call from you around this
time."

"Thank you, Tyler." Brian said before Tyler ended the
conversation.
"Thank you for what?"
"Thank you for always being here for me.  I miss you,
ya know?
"I miss you too Brian, and there is no need to thank
me.  That's what friends are for."

"Goodnight Tyler."
"Night."

Brian hung up the phone and rolled over on the bed so
he could face the balcony.  He lay there for a while
just thinking about what Tyler had said to him.  'Lets
just hope Tyler is wrong this time.' Brian yawned a
few times before rolling over and drifting to sleep.
'God, please let him be wrong this time.'

***

"Jonathan, make sure you get in touch with the MTV
person I told you about.  The phone number is in the
folder I gave you earlier today.  I'm sure they will
give you some hell over the Boys not showing up on
Monday but you can handle it," Leila yelled as she ran
past me, backstage at the Raleigh concert.

"I was just getting to that right now Leila," I yelled
back.

I made my way towards a back room assigned for the
press crew.  Computers, faxes and phones were all set
up all around the room.  I took a seat in the back of
the room and dialed the MTV representative number.

"Hello?  May I speak with a Dan O'Neil?" I placed my
feet up on a desk and relaxed a little while on the
phone.

"Yes, this is Dan speaking."

"Hi, my name is Jonathan Bratts.  I am calling on
behalf of the Backstreet Boys.  I think you talked
with Leila Kilcher a couple weeks ago?"

"Yes, Leila the press coordinator, right?"

"Right .Well, I'm calling because the Backstreet Boys
will not be able to make it to the TRL Grammy show on
Monday.  A scheduling conflict arose and its simply
impossible for them to make it."

"You're not serious are you?  We had discussed this at
great length with the Backstreet Boys reps and now
your canceling?  The Backstreet Boys were the biggest
TRL act this past year and they were going to be the
main focus in our photo shoot for the TRL poster!" The
man sounded very agitated and was losing his cool.

"I'm sorry Mr. O'Neil but the Backstreet Boys will be
rehearsing for their Grammy performance.  I don't know
if you are aware but the Backstreet Boys are going to
come off this weekend having performed 4 concerts in 4
days.  With the Grammy's on Tuesday, it only leaves
them Monday to rehearse.  Their rehearsal slot has
been moved to the morning to accommodate all the
artist.  I'm sure you understand.  The Backstreet Boys
themselves send their apologies and are upset over not
being able to participate in the TRL photo shoot."

"There is no way we can work around this?" The man
made one last attempt.

"I'm sorry but it just doesn't seem possible.  Even if
you were to move the shoot to the middle of the night,
they wouldn't be able to make it.  You'd have 5
sleeping guys on stage."

I ended my conversation with the MTV producer and went
on to the next thing on my list of things to do.  A
few minutes later, Leila came walking into the room.

"So how did it go with the MTV people?  I hope they
didn't freak out too much," Leila said taking a seat
next to me.

"Well, the producer seemed to be just a little upset.
He understood the problem so he didn't give me much
trouble," I informed Leila.

"Oh, I'm sure they are on the phones with management
right now trying to work something out!  They don't
give up as easily as you think.  Even if the Boys had
time to do the photo shoot, they need their rest.
Wednesday is a very big day for them and we can't
afford to have them sleep through it!"

"I hope they win an award.  I really think they
deserve a Grammy this year with Millennium.  It was a
great CD, and considering out of all the CD's that
came out this past year they don't really have a lot
of competition other than Santana."

"We are all hoping they win at least one.  It will be
a big reward for all the hard work they have put in
this past year and after everything they went
through," Leila added.  "How about we make our way out
to the stage arena.  I feel like catching the show
tonight since we don't have much to do." Leila and I
got up and made our way out into the backstage
hallways.  Just as we were coming out of the 'press
crew room,' we bumped into Brian.

"Hey Jonathan!  You going to catch the show tonight or
are you heading back to the hotel?" Brian asked.

"I'm going to stay and watch.  Leila over here wants
some company and who am I to say no to such a lovely
lady," I said, grinning at Leila.

"Complimenting your boss will get you nowhere... but
up," Leila laughed, and take my arm in hers.

"Stop by my room when you get back to the hotel, ok?"
Brian asked me as we made our way through the
hallways.  Brian looked at me and gave me a smile and
went turned towards the warm up area.

"You guys are starting to become good friends, aren't
you?" Leila questioned me as we made our way out into
the arena.

"Yeah, they've taken a liking to me apparently, and
who am I to deny them the pleasure of hanging out with
me?" I said while trying to keep a straight face

"You're right, none of the Backstreet Boys, or anyone
else for that matter should be denied the pleasure of
spending time with you Jonathan," Leila played along.
"But I was talking specifically about you and Brian."

"Brian?  We have hung out a couple of times and
talked, but I wouldn't say we are friends."

"Why wouldn't you say you're becoming friends?" Leila
turned to face me.  We had already taken our seats
near the stage to watch the concert.

"I don't know.  I just don't see myself becoming best
friends with celebrities.  They have extremely busy
schedules, I'm trying to live my life.  How can a
friendship develop under circumstances like that?"

"Just because they are busy, don't think they make for
bad friends.  Those guys know how to work at keeping a
friendship.  Years on the road has taught them well.
I think they've found a good friend in you.  You don't
see them as 'The Backstreet Boys." " Leila asked.

"Yeah.  Sometimes I forget they're the guys who get up
on stage every night.  Who they are backstage are
completely different to who they are offstage."

"Let me tell you, those guys have gone through a lot
of difficult things being in the Backstreet Boys, but
nothing more difficult than getting used by people.
So many people have used those poor guys just because
of their fame and that has made each of them to become
very weary of who they chose to invest their time and
energy with.  They have had to learn the hard way, but
they have learned to not trust most of the people that
come into their lives," Leila said.

"I'm not most people."

"I'm pretty sure that the guys have realized that
already." Leila said just as the lights started to
dim.   "I'm sure it didn't take them long at all."

I didn't hear the last thing Leila said because the
arena was quickly filled with incredibly loud screams
from the thousands of fans.  The screams only got
louder when the Backstreet Boys started their decent
towards the stage on their futuristic surf boards.

"ARE YOU WITH US RALEIGH?!!!!" Echoed through the
arena.

***

"Hey Jonathan, come on in," Brian said, waving me
inside.
"So what's up?  Did you need something?"
"Need something?  No, not at all.  I just thought you
might want to chill for a while." Brian said.
"Oh ok.  Sounds like a plan to me.  I got all my work
done earlier today so I have nothing to do."

Brian's hotel room was pretty big.  It was actually
two rooms, a bedroom and a living room.  The bedroom
was to the right of the front door.  The bedroom had a
huge king sized bed, a dresser across from it and a
desk.  The living room had 2 big plush couches, a
leather massaging chair, and entertainment system.  A
balcony stretched out from 2 big sliding glass doors
that overlooked the city.

Brian walked over to one of the couches, the one
directly across from the TV, and stretched out.  He
looked very comfortable in his blue jogging pants and
white Nike T-shirt.  I was just as comfortable in my
gray sweats.

"So did you enjoy the concert tonight?" Brian asked
ushering me to sit down on the couch across beside
him.

"Just like the first time," I said.  "You guys put a
lot of energy into it tonight though, more than I've
seen in other cities."

"Yeah, well Raleigh has always been a great city to
perform in.  The crowds here are always incredibly
supportive and loud, as you saw tonight."

"If it wasn't for my ear plugs I would probably not be
able to hear you right now."

"So you've enjoyed being on tour with us so far?"
Brian asked.
"I definitely have.  Its been incredibly fun and
exiting.  This is the first job I've ever really
enjoyed," I said looking straight into Brian's crystal
blue eyes.  "God knows I've hated all the other ones
I've had."

"I'm sure none were as bad as having to work at 'Long
John Silvers,' believe me," Brian said.

"Can't say I've worked at a fast food restaurant, but
I have worked in a restaurant.  It wasn't a pleasant
experience, to say the least."

"Well, now we both have a job we like, so it all
worked out in the end, huh?" A grin came across
Brain's face.

"I would say so."

"I know I enjoy my job.  Its hard work but I can't
imagine not being able to get on stage and performing
for fans."  Just at that moment the phone rang.  "Give
me a second Jonathan while I see who it is."

"No problem."  I watched as Brian jumped off the couch
and made his way over to the other side of the room to
pick up the phone.

"Hello?... Hey, what's up?.... I'm just hanging out
with a friend.... hold on a second."  Brian removed
the phone from his ear and looked over at me.
"Jonathan, I'm going to take this in my room.  I won't
take too long."  Brian pushed the hold button on the
phone and hung it up.  He walked into his room,
leaving me sitting on the couch.

"Why do you have to know?...... What?! That is so
ridiculous!.... Whatever, I really don't need this
right now.... I'll talk to you another time ok?....
No! I'm not going to talk to you right now.... Bye!"

I didn't mean to eavesdrop on Brian's conversation,
but I couldn't help but overhear Brian's side of the
conversation.  He had left the bedroom door wide open,
allowing me to hear his yelling.  As soon as I heard
Brian slam the phone down, ending the conversation, I
turned my head and acted as if I had been watching the
television.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting here all by
yourself," Brian said walking into the room again
.
"Don't worry about it," I said, looking over at Brian.
 He still seemed a little stressed out.  He sat down
in the same place he was before and tried to relax.
"I don't mean to be nosy but, are you ok?  I couldn't
help but overhear you on the phone."

I caught Brian off guard.  "Oh yeah, I, um, I'm fine,"
Brian stumbled to answer my question.
"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to stick my nose
where it doesn't belong." I really felt bad.
"I just had to answer, I mean, explain what, um, what
I was up to and..."  Brian was at a loss for words.

"Brian!  Really, you don't need to explain.  I
shouldn't have asked you anything."  I reached my hand
out and placed it on Brian's barefoot and gave him a
smile.  "Don't explain."

Brian shot me a smile and relaxed.  We sat there in
silence for a while just watching TV.  After about an
half an hour of chilling out, I said goodnight to
Brian and made my way to my room.

***

Saturday we woke up in Atlanta, Georgia.  It was a
beautiful day, the sun shinning bright with no clouds
in site.  Everyone didn't need to be at the venue
until 6 that evening, and it was only 8 in the
morning.  I figured I would catch up on my e-mail and
phone messages when someone came knocking on my door.


"Look who's up and about so early."  Standing in front
of me was Brian, dressed in his gray sweats and white
T-shirt.

"Morning Jonathan," Brian rubbed his face, looking a
little tired.  "I couldn't get back to sleep after we
got kicked off the busses so I figured I'd come bug
you."

"Well, bug away."  I opened the door more and stepped
aside to let Brian in.

"You think you might want to go out and do some
shopping and stuff," Brian said, turning to face me
once he was in the room.  While he waited for my
answer he shuffled his right foot back and forth
across the carpet, out of nervous habit, I figured.

"Yeah, I'd love to!  I've been meaning to go and spend
the money I've earned."  He could have asked me to
shine his shoes and I would have said 'Yes!'

"Great!  I really need to get away from everyone for a
while, you know?"

"But you won't really be getting away from everyone if
you have me tagging along."  I said.

"Well, you aren't tagging along Jonathan!  I asked you
to come, didn't I?"  He looked a little frustrated.

"Yeah, you did."

"Good, its settled then.  I just need to go get
changed and I'll sneak back down here."  Brian stepped
towards the door.  "Don't tell anyone where your going
to ok?  They might track us down."

"No problem."

About half an hour passed until Brian returned to my
room.  He was wearing really cool dark denim dress
jeans and a white, very soft looking, turtleneck
sweater.  I was in my usual black attire: black pants,
boots, v-neck shirt and coat.  It was pretty chilly
outside and I imagined we would be walking around.  By
the way Brian was dressed I figured I was right.

"Ready to go and spend some money?"  Brian gave me one
of his goofy smiles, making me laugh hysterically.

"Yeah, I'm always ready to spend the green," I said,
once I finished laughing.

We quietly made it down the hall towards the back
elevators.  Once we were downstairs and out on the
street, Brian breathed a sigh of relief.

"I really expected to get caught by one of our
bodyguards.  I really didn't want to have to spend the
rest of the day being followed by one of them.  They
end up bringing more attention to us."

"I guess they all figured everyone would be sleeping.
I'm surprised we got out, undetected, especially the
way Marc keeps an eye on you.  You would think he was
somehow attached to you."

"Yeah, Marc doesn't let me out of his sight!  He's
great though cause I always feel protected with him,
but sometimes it gets to be a little too much."  Brian
said, as we made our way down to the corner.

"Let's catch a cab and head to the fancy stores.  I'm
in the mood of giving management a heart attack when
they see my credit card bill."  Brian stepped out onto
the street and hailed a cab.

"Remind me why management will be seeing your credit
card bill?"  I didn't really see how Brian's bills
were any of The Firm, their management company's
business.

"Oh, we don't use our own personal credit cards.  Jive
supplies us each with a company credit card.  That way
it makes it easier for our accountants to keep track
of our finances, and it helps us not get recognized at
stores when we hand the cashier our the credit card.,"
Brian explained.
"Plus, the company's credit limit is incredibly high,
which allows us to buy a car or expensive jewelry.
Whatever our hearts desire."

"Sounds reasonable, I guess."  I still found it weird
that the record company and management had access to
everything the guys did.

"I also forgot to mention, Jive pays for most of the
bill," Brian added with a smirk.

"What?  They pay for whatever you spend on this credit
card?"

"Yeah, but technically the money they use to pay part
of the bill comes from the money we generate.  Us
musicians don't get our fair share of the profits, so
to compensate for it, the record company gives us an
extra 'allowance' in a way."

"Your still lucky bastards!"  I said lightly punching
Brian in the arm.

"Lucky?  Its not like we sit on our asses and just
have money rolling in!"  Brian said.

"You're right, I'm sorry.  You guys do work hard, so
you deserve all you have."

"Well, since you apologized, I might just have Jive
pay for whatever you buy today too."

"Ooohh, now there is an offer I won't turn down!"

Brian and I spend around 3 hours going in and out of
designer store after designer store, in Atlanta's
extremely lavish shopping district.  For the most part
Brian went unnoticed, except for in a couple designer
stores.  Brian was quickly recognized in the Versace
and Armani stores, where he, and I, were treated like
kings.  We were taken to an upper level and lead into
the private shopping area.  Racks of clothes were
brought into the room and extended in front of us as
we sat on incredibly comfortable couches.  The service
we received was incredible, and this was a clothe
store!  I had never imagined in my wildest dreams that
I would get to experience all this in my life, (well,
maybe I did dream it once or twice).  We were even
given drinks and snacks while we looked at all the
clothes, including the private collection, held
especially for celebrities.  In the Armani store, the
manager even got Georgio Armani himself on the phone
to greet Brian and personally thanking him for
shopping.  Needless to say, Brian spent a lot of money
in the store, and as we were leaving the manager
handed Brian and myself an extra bag with a wrapped
box inside each one.  The manager simply said, "A gift
from Mr. Armani to show his appreciation, and next
time you are in Milan he insists both of you stop by,
along with the rest of the Backstreet Boys, and visit
him."

After exchanging good-byes, Brian and I hopped into a
town car, which the manager of Armani ordered for us,
and headed to have something to eat.

"Wow.  I am just amazed at the privileges you guys
receive!  I had heard of the private shopping rooms
and personal assistants at those kind of stores, but I
never imagined it would be like that." I said as we
made our way to one of Brian's favorite restaurants in
Atlanta.

"Well then, you had everyone fooled, including me."
Brian said looking at me.

"What do you mean?"

"It didn't seem like it was your first time receiving
service like that," Brian said.  "They all figured you
were some rich model friend of mine."

"They did not!  They probably thought I was your
assistant!"

"They definitely didn't think you were my assistant.
One of the ladies, the one who brought us the coffee,
even asked me if you were a model!"

"A MODEL?!? HAHAHA!"

"What are you laughing about?  She really asked me who
you modeled for," Brian was getting a kick out of this
too.

"What did you tell her?"
"I told her you were signed with some agency in New
York."
"That is just too much.  I can't believe they thought
I a model."
"Why can't you believe that?  I think you could be a
model."
"Me, a model?  Get real!"  I pushed Brian gently, and
turned to look out my window.  Before I could move my
arm away from Brian he grabbed me by the wrist.

"What?"  I turned to look at Brian as he held my arm
in his hand.

"You amaze me."  Brian's deep blue eyes were locked
with mine.  I could have felt uncomfortable, having
Brian stare into my eyes so intensely, but I didn't.
I felt at ease.

"I amaze you? How so?" .

Brian blushed when he noticed he still had a hold of
my arm.  He let me go and turned in his seat and
stared out his window.  "You just really don't see
yourself as you are, do you?"  Brian asked, not really
looking for an answer.  I just sat there, bewildered
by Brian's comments.

I amazed Brian?  I didn't understand him at all at
that moment.  The way he spoke made it seem like he
was talking about much more than my physical
apperance, but I just didn't understand.  Maybe I
didn't want to understand him, who knows.

"Here we are," the driver annouced and we pulled up to
the restaurant.

"I'm starving," Brian commented as he opened the door
and stepped out.
"Yeah, me too.  They better have some good chicken!" I
said as I followed Brian out of the town car.

We walked into the restaurant and were greeted by the
hostess.

"Two please," Brian said to the hostess.  "And can you
please give us a private table."

"Sure, right this way gentleman."  The hostess lead us
towards the back of the restaurant and sat us in a
small booth which was hidden behind some plants.

"May I take your drink orders now?"

"Yeah, I'll have a tall glass of ice tea please,"
Brian ordered first.
"I'll have a glass of lemonade please."  I smiled at
the hostess, who couldn't have been more than 20 years
old.

"That's weird," I said.
"What is?" Brian turned to look at me.
"She realized who you are as soon as she saw you, yet
she didn't make a fuss."
"Maybe she just doesn't care for the Backstreet Boys,"
Brian said.
"No, I could tell by her eyes that she wanted to
scream."
"Actually, the employees here are under strict rules
to not make a fuss over celebrities.  I'm pretty sure
they get fired if they ask for an autograph or
something."

"I see.  But I'm sure, being that you are a sweet and
incredibly giving person, you are going to sign a
napkin for her anyways, right?"

"Um yeah, that is exactly what I was planning on
doing," Brian replied, stumbling on his words.  I
guess I didn't leave him a choice after what I had
said.

"What a gentleman," I added.  Brian only smiled and
blushed.


Lunch was great.  The food was incredible and the
conversation between Brian and I was even better.  It
was a simple conversation, but we both enjoyed it
tremendously.  The best conversations between two
people are usually when they are just getting to know
each other.  Every word is interesting, every story
exiting.

We made it back to the hotel after lunch and secretly
made our way back up to my floor.  Luckly, Brian had
thought to leave all our shopping bags at the front
desk and have them bring them up later, or else it
would have been impossible to make it to my room
without getting caught.

"Whew!  We made it!" Brian let out a sigh of relief.
"No fans, no security and no management to deal with.
Just a fun afternoon out in the city."

"Yeah, I can't believe we made it out of here without
being tracked down.  You would think that having a
tall built man in a suit follow you around wouldn't
look weird."

"You're telling me!  Management insist we take
bodyguards everywhere we go!  They don't realize that
having huge guys follow us around brings more
attention to us.  We usually get surrounded by fans
when we have bodyguards with us and left alone when we
don't."

"But it is risky going out without security Brian," I
added.  "You might not always be so lucky to be left
alone.  If someone was to recognize you in the middle
of a mall and you had no security with you, it
wouldn't be a pretty site."

"I guess," Brian said, not really wanting to admit to
me being right.
"We wouldn't want to have Brian pulled apart by a mob
of teenage girls, now would we?"
"No we wouldn't.  We wouldn't want that at all!" Brian
shook his head side to side like a little kid.

"You are just too much!" I couldn't help but laugh at
Brian's faces.
"Am I?" Brian became serious again and looked me
straight in the eyes.
"Um no, not really.  You're just enough."
"Just enough?"
"Oh, you know what I mean."  I blushed, probably
turning bright red.
"I had a really good time with you today Jonathan,"
Brian said, not losing eye contact with me.
"I did too Brian.  Thank you for such a fun day."
"Don't even mention it.  It was nothing." Brian said.
"You really don't need to thank me.  Next time you
better not turn down me buying you stuff!  I really
wanted to."

"Believe me Brian. I wouldn't feel right having you
buy me things.  I certainly can buy my own clothes.
You guys pay me well enough." I said with a smile.
"I hope we can do this again soon?"
"Definitely, I'd... I'd really like that," I stumbled
out.  I looked into Brian's blue eyes again and I felt
at ease.

"Great.  Maybe I can give you a call later tonight,
after the concert?" Brian asked, looking away a
little.

"Sure, that sounds good."  I answered simply.
"Ok, I'll talk to you later tonight," Brian walked
towards the door and opened it.  "Talk to you later."

"Talk to you later, Brian."  I said, as Brian closed
the door behind him.


***


"Thank God this weekend is over!  I didn't think I
could make it through it.  I thought I was going to
pass out somewhere in the middle," AJ fell backwards
onto the coach in the back of the Boy's tour bus.

"Yeah, 4 concerts in four days in four different
cities is something we are never doing again!"
Kevin added as he entered the back room.

"So tell me, who's genius idea was it to add a fan
conference to the already crazy schedule?"  I said,
taking a seat next to AJ.

"You can thank Leila and management for that one,"
Kevin answered.

"Okay, I don't want to hear anymore complaining from
any of you!" Brian came running into the room.  "I
can't take it aymore!!!!"

Brian's less than subtle entrance was greeted with 3
pillows hitting him in the head.

"All right, who threw the last one?!"

"WHAT?  You're only going to hold the last one
responsible?"  I shouted in protest, and out of
stupidity.  Brian just grinned at me and gave me a
'you dumb ass' look, along with AJ, Howie and Kevin.
"I... I mean... hey, you tricked me!  No fair!"

"Well, since you are the only one man enough to admit
it, I'll let it slide this time."

"Aww, beat his ass!" Nick decided to grace us with his
presence.  "I want to see some serious butt whopping."

Everyone finally calmed down, just as we arrived at
our hotel.  The guy's adrenaline rush from performing
that night finally started to come down.  Nick, AJ,
Kevin and Howie made their way towards their rooms and
called it a night.  They were extremely tired and we
had a 7 o'clock flight to Los Angeles for the Grammy's
the next morning.  Brian and I trailed behind and made
it into the bar.

"You want a drink?"  Brian offered.
"I would but I'm underage remember?"
"Ah, they won't care, believe me.  Most places even
serve Nick, who not only acts but looks 12."
"Well, I guess one won't hurt.  I have been craving
one."

Brian called the waitress over and ordered a
screwdriver for me and a beer for himself.

"I'm not much of a hard liquor kind of person," Brian
conceded.  "Beer is about all I can handle."
"Oh, can't hold your liquor huh?"
"Not very long, no."
"No details please," I pleaded.
"Believe me, I'm not willing to embarrass myself by
sharing those stories."

The waitress brought over our drinks.  We sat there in
silence while we sipped at our drinks.  We were
perfectly content to sit there and just relax.  I
could tell Brian hadn't come down from his adrenaline
rush from performing, so sleeping was out of the
question for him.

"Thank you."  I blurted out out of nowhere.
"Thank you?  For what?"  Brian raised an eyebrow and
looked me dead in the eye.
"You know, for going out of your way and making me
feel welcomed and stuff," I said, staring down at my
napkin.
"Jonathan, I haven't gone out of my way to make you
feel better," Brian said.
"Oh?"  I looked up at Brian.

"What I mean is that I haven't forced anything to try
and make you feel like part of the Backstreet family.
You are part of the Backstreet family, and you are now
a friend.  I knew you were going to make a good friend
to not only me but the rest of the guys the first day
we met."  Brian said.

"That's nice of you to say.  I just want to tell you
that I really have enjoyed hanging out with you guys.
Its like icing on the cake.  Not only do I love my job
but I actually like my bosses!" I said with a laugh.
"And I also want to tell you that I haven't enjoyed
hanging out with you guys because..."

"Jonathan, you don't need to tell me," Brian
interrupted before I could continue.  "After years in
this business its become real easy for us to tell who
genuinely like us for the people that we are and not
the job we have.  We all talked about how cool you
were after you hung out with us the first time.  I
mean, even Kevin who is usually impossible to convince
on letting anyone into our tight circle, realized you
could be trusted.  We all trust you."  Brian said.

By this point we were on our third drink.  I guess the
drinks helped us talk and be honest about what was on
our minds.  Without the drinks I think both of us
wouldn't have admitted as much as we did.  To me it
seemed like it usually took a long time before friends
admitted to each other how much they trusted each
other.  Everyone is always looking out for themselves
and protecting themselves from getting hurt and
admitting to someone that you trust them and consider
them a good friend is like an open invitation to get
backstabbed.

"I think we should head upstairs cause we have an
early wake up call tomorrow," Brian pulled his wallet
out to leave the waitress a tip.

"You mean, later today.  Its 1 in the morning Brian."
I informed Brian.
"Oh wow, time flies when we talk, huh?"
"Yeah, it does seem to fly by."

We made our way over to the elevators and waited
patiently for one to come down.  We got on the
elevator by ourselves.  Brian pushed the button for
our floor and leaned back against the wall.  We rode
up in silence.  This time almost everyone was staying
on the same floor.  Usually the Boys stayed on a
different level than the rest of the crew either
because of security issues or they stayed in suites.

We exited the elevator and made our way down the hall.
 Brian's room was around the corner from mine so we
both stopped in front of my door.

"Anyways, thanks for the drinks.  Its on me next
time," I said.
It sounded like Brian was going to protest the idea
but I guess he figured it was better not to.  "Okay,
I'll hold you to your word."
"You always can," I added.  "Goodnight Brian."
"Goodnight Jonathan."

I had just turned towards the door to insert my card
key into the door slot when Brian put his hand on my
shoulder and turned me back around.  Then he did
something that really threw me off.  He leaned towards
me, as his eyes closed.  Just before he could reach
me, I turned away, and tried to open my door.

"I umm, I don't...."  Brian stumbled out, his face
turning a little red.
"I had a really good time Brian, a really good time."
I smiled at him.  I placed my hand on his shoulder and
pulled him into a hug.  "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.  Have a goodnight."
Brian turned away, looking a bit confused and
embarrassed, and walked towards his room.

I walked into my room, closed the door, and leaned up
against it.  My mind was spinning.  I didn't know what
to think.   The last thought on my mind that night was
what exactly I had just gotten myself into.


To Be Continued.