Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 12:03:21 -0400
From: musicfan <musicfan@subdimension.com>
Subject: Where Do We Go #19

Disclaimer:

   The following story is the nineteenth installment in an on going series
about Stephen Gately from Boyzone and what I imagine to be the story behind
the beginning of his relationship with Eloy de Jong from Caught in the
Act. I have no contact with either person, nor know any of the members of
either group.

   This story, as with many on the nifty site, contains explicit sexual
scenes at times.  Hence the warning if you're not old enough to be reading
this, you should not.

   I enjoy hearing what you have to think about my story so far, so please
email me and let me know what you think.


###



  Stephen got up with a groan to answer the door.  Eloy stayed slumped on
the couch, panting.  It had taken several knocks for it to penetrate
through to them that someone was at the door.

     An older man carried in the tray of food and put it on the table.  He
put each plate on the table, complete with silverware and napkins and
placed the ice bucket on a stand next to the table.  Two long fluted wine
glasses followed.  When he was done, the man nodded discreetly and accepted
the tip that Stephen handed him.  He left without a word and Stephen
gratefully closed the door behind him.

     Stephen walked from the door over to the sofa where Eloy's head could
barely be seen over the top.  He leaned down, wrapped his arms around
Eloy's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

     "Supper's ready," he said.

     Eloy sighed and opened his eyes.  "Is it?"

      "Mmm hmmmm," Stephen said.  He gave Eloy one last hug and stood up.
"Come on, you were hungry at one point earlier.  Let's not have it all go
to waste."

     "I suppose."  Eloy didn't sound too enthusiastic.  He sat forward on
the sofa and stretched.  The sound of a cork popping piqued his interest
and he turned to watch what Stephen was doing.  Stephen was busily pouring
champagne into the two glasses and trying not to let it overflow onto the
floor.  He chuckled. To say that Stephen was looking a little disheveled
was a bit of an understatement.  His shirt was opened to the waist and his
hair was mussed a bit.  He decided not to point it out because he didn't
want Stephen feeling self-conscious about having answered the door that
way.  He got up and walked over to the table. Stephen had lit a candle and
Eloy reached over to the wall and turned off the light, leaving the room
illuminated only by candlelight.

     "Oh, that's nice!" Stephen said.  Eloy wrapped his arms around him
from behind and leaned his chin on Stephen's shoulder.

     "Mmm, it is.  Shall we see if it tastes as good as it looks?"  He
asked as he nibbled on Stephen's ear.

     "I'm still wondering which you are talking about --- me or the food!"
Stephen said with a laugh as he turned around in Eloy's arms and smiled up
at him.  He winked as he ducked out from Eloy's embrace and walked over to
the table.  Eloy sighed and followed him.  Stephen removed the covers and
put them off to the side.  "Dinner is served."

      "So it is." Eloy said as he took a seat.  Stephen sat across from him
and picked up his champagne glass.  They clinked the glasses together and
sipped.

     "Oh, tasty!" Stephen exclaimed.

     "Mmm, it is.  Stephen, I had no idea you liked champagne so much.
I'll have to keep that in mind when I want to have my way with you." Eloy's
eyes glinted with amusement over Stephen's reaction.

     "As if you'd need it!" Stephen retorted with a laugh. He looked down
at the fish he had ordered and inhaled the aroma.  "Oh, I think this was a
good choice.  How about you?"  He picked up his fork and took a bite.

     "Ja, this is good," Eloy said as he dug into his beef bouillabaisse.
They ate together in companionable silence for a few moments before Eloy
noticed that Stephen was just staring at him.  "What?"

     "Nothing," Stephen smiled.  "Just looking."  He grinned and picked up
his glass to drain it.  "More?" He asked, picking up the bottle.  At Eloy's
nod he filled both glasses again.  As he put down the bottle, he sighed.

     "What?" Eloy asked again.

     "I dunno... just... this," Stephen said, motioning his hand
vaguely. "Do you know how nice it is to just sit here and enjoy this?"

    Eloy looked at him and nodded slowly.  "Ja, I do."

     "And I don't mean not having to run around with the rest of the lads.
I mean, being here, having dinner.  Doing what we did today. Going out and
having a laugh together. This is special," he said.

     "It's special to me, too." Eloy said.  He covered Stephen's hand that
was resting on the table with his own and held it lightly. "You're special
to me."

     Stephen felt his heart melt.  "That goes for me, too, you know.  Have
I thanked you for calling me?" He turned his hand up so that they were palm
to palm.

     "Thank you for agreeing to meet," Eloy said softly as he stroked his
thumb over the back of Stephen's hand.  They stared into each other's eyes
for a moment.  "This has been marvelous."

     "Yes, it has been.  And I hope just the beginning." Stephen said
softly as he looked into Eloy's eyes. He reached with his free hand for his
glass and raised it.  Eloy matched him and they tipped their glasses
together before drinking again.  They went back to eating and finished.
Stephen went to the tray where another plate lay under a cover and revealed
tiramisu.  He grinned.

     "Shall we move back to the sofa?" He asked.  Eloy nodded and put both
their plates on the tray and cleaned up.  Stephen took a couple of spoons
and brought them over to the table next to the sofa.  Eloy brought over
their glasses. Stephen settled down on the sofa and patted the cushion.
Eloy sat down next to him. He waited expectantly, because he was pretty
sure that Stephen was planning something.

     He was.  He reached over and brought the plate onto his lap and dug in
with one of the spoons.  Smiling, he offered Eloy a taste.  Eloy grinned
before accepting the treat, nibbling it off the end of the spoon. Eloy
returned the favor by taking Stephen's champagne glass and holding it for
him to sip from.  Then he took the spoon from Stephen and brought up a bite
for him to taste.  Stephen had his eyes closed and opened his mouth for a
bit of the tiramisu. They fed each other back and forth this way.

     A few moments later Stephen swore softly.  "Damn, we're out of
champagne. Knew I should have ordered more."

    "Not to worry, zusje.  If you don't mind, I can go up and get the extra
bottle of wine from last night," Eloy suggested. Stephen perked up at the
idea.

    "Do you mind?" He asked.  Eloy shook his head and gave Stephen a kiss.

    "No, not at all.  Don't move, and I'll be right back." Eloy promised.
He got up and went out the door. The room seemed rather empty and
quiet. Stephen got up and put the radio on his boom box that was on the
desk off to the side. He walked over to the window and looked out as he
waited for Eloy to return. It only seemed a matter a moments before Stephen
heard a soft knock on the door.  He opened the door, letting Eloy back in.

     Eloy also had a bucket of ice with him.  "I figured we might need this
to chill the wine."

     Stephen smiled.  "Good idea." They put the wine down in its bucket
next to the sofa as they sat back down.  "Now, where were we?"  He sat so
that he was facing Eloy on the sofa.

     "I think we were here," Eloy said with a smile, indicating the rest of
the tiramisu.

     "Mmmm, so we were." Stephen said.  He picked up the plate and fed Eloy
another bite.  Eloy took the spoon back and gave Stephen another
morsel. Stephen grinned. "This is fun."

      Eloy answered his smile with one of his own.  "Ja, it is." He reached
over and stroked Stephen's face, wiping a small bit of cream off the corner
of his mouth.  "Now what are you doing that far away?"

     "Beats me," Stephen said with a laugh and moved closer.  "You know,
the hell with the ice.  Let's just have the wine."  Eloy nodded and opened
the bottle.  He then poured them each a glass as they finished off the
dessert.  After taking a sip, Stephen snuggled under his arm with a sigh
and leaned his head against Eloy's shoulder.  Eloy stroked his arm and
hugged him close.

     "Damn, but I don't want this to end," Stephen said softly into Eloy's
chest.

    "It doesn't have to." Eloy said in reply. Stephen looked up at him with
a small smile shadowing his lips.

    "Yeah, but tomorrow the rest of the guys fly in and the day after we're
in the studio.  How the hell can we work around it?" Stephen sighed and
finished off his wine.  He knew he was starting to get depressed over it
and was trying to fight it.  He didn't want to ruin the evening by getting
maudlin.

     Eloy pulled the glass out of Stephen's hand and tilted his face up.
Reluctantly, Stephen looked up. "We'll find a way. Now is not the time to
get upset, not tonight. Not when we have so little time right now."

     Stephen closed his eyes.  "I know.  And I'm sorry. But sometimes, I
just can't figure out a way around it and I get frustrated."  He felt a
light touch on his eyelids as Eloy gently kissed each one.  He found
himself smiling as Eloy made his way across his nose and down to his
lips. He lost himself in the feel of Eloy tracing his lips with his tongue.
Fingers gently traced a line along his cheek before cradling his neck.  He
opened his eyes to find Eloy looking down at him.

     "Better?" Eloy asked him softly.

     "Getting there," he replied. He reached up to pull Eloy down closer
again for another kiss. "Much better." Stephen got up onto his knees and
kissed Eloy again.  "But I have an even better idea."

     "Oh? What's that?" Eloy asked, amused at Stephen's expression.

     "Let's go to bed and snuggle," Stephen suggested.  He stood up and
tugged on Eloy's hand.  Eloy got up and followed him to the bed.  Stephen
reached up and unbuttoned the rest of Eloy's shirt and pulled it off him.
Eloy responded by pulled Stephen's shirttail out of his jeans and slipped
it off of his shoulders.  The shirt fell and pooled around Stephen's feet.
He let his fingers lightly stroke Stephen's arms as they made their way up
to rest on his shoulders.

     Stephen looked up at Eloy and smiled.  He reached out and slowly
unbuttoned Eloy's pants.  Eloy ran his hand through Stephen's hair before
lightly running his fingertips down Stephen's chest.  Stephen shivered. He
let his fingers trace along the waistband of Eloy's pants before pushing
them down past his hips. Eloy slipped his hands around Stephen's chest and
pulled him close.  He hugged Stephen tightly before slipping his hands down
the back of Stephen's jeans and pushing them down his legs.  He then pulled
them both down across the bed with Stephen on top of him.

    "Mmmm," Stephen growled softly as he lightly bit Eloy's shoulder.  Eloy
used his feet to pull Stephen's jeans off all the way. An eager hand pushed
his own pants down and they enjoyed themselves by exploring with hands and
lips.  Eloy pulled back from a kiss to find Stephen grinning at him.

    "What?" He asked softly.

    "You," Stephen said with a laugh.  "You are just too damn gorgeous for
words.  And I just want to eat you up!"  He growled softly and Eloy
grinned.

    "Promises, promises," he teased. He wrapped his legs around Stephen and
rolled them over on the bed so that Stephen was pinned underneath him.
"Ah, now I have you where I want you!"

    "Yeah, like I'm struggling!" Stephen laughed back.  He pulled Eloy
towards him into a hug. "Come under the covers with me," he said.

    "I suppose I could do that."  Eloy got up long enough to let Stephen
pull back the covers before they both crawled under the duvet.  They lay on
their sides facing one another.  "Stephen," Eloy said.

    Stephen smiled.  "Eloy."  He ran his hands along Eloy's ribs.  "God, I
could get used to this."  Eloy reached out a hand to cup Stephen's face and
he leaned forward to give him a kiss.

     "Mmm, so could I," He murmured against Stephen's lips. As they kissed
again, Stephen wrapped his arms around Eloy's waist. "I love you."

    "I love you," Stephen said. "But then, I've always loved you in some
fashion or other."

    "Ja?" Eloy asked.  He ran his fingers through Stephen's dark hair.

    "Yeah," Stephen said with a grin.  "I just didn't want you to know it."

    Eloy tilted his head as he looked at Stephen.  "And why not?" He asked.

    "Well, it wasn't like you were available," Stephen said, his smile
growing a little more crooked.  "But I lusted from a distance."

    "Did you, now?" Eloy asked.  "And all this time, I never knew."  He
watched as Stephen looked down.  He stroked a finger along his cheek until
he pushed his chin back up.  "I wish I had," he said softly.

     "It wouldn't have been right," Stephen replied.  "And I don't poach."

     "Stephen, you know how it was the last 2 years for me." Eloy said.
Stephen nodded.  "I think I only kept on going back because it was
convenient and it meant not having to deal with the heartache of breaking
up.  And though I did love Carlo, I came to realize I couldn't live with
him.  It was all right as long as I was on the road, but once I was home
for any length of time...." He trailed off with a sigh.

     "I remember you said how bad it could get," Stephen said quietly.  He
didn't want to disturb Eloy's thoughts, but felt he had to be encouraging
and let him talk.

     "Well, he was just...so... possessive.  Stifling. I think he was so
afraid of losing me that he pushed me away."  Eloy sighed, lost in his
thoughts. "That's why it took me so long to sort things out.  For a long
time, I thought it was me.  That I couldn't be what he needed. I guess in a
way, that was true."  He stopped and looked at Stephen.  "I know you
probably don't want to hear it, but I guess I'm trying to explain why I did
what I did over the last few months.  I was looking to see if it was me or
not."

     Stephen looked at Eloy for a moment, inwardly debating with himself
about continuing this conversation.  He saw the need in Eloy to explain
what had happened that morning.  He would rather just forget it, but he
knew that it would be there until they had talked it out.  He rolled onto
his back and tugged on Eloy's arm.  Eloy moved over so that he was resting
his head in the hollow of Stephen's shoulder.

     "And did you figure it out?" Stephen asked as he wrapped his arm
around Eloy and rubbed his arm.

     Eloy let out a gusty sigh.  "I don't think I did.  If anything, it
made it worse. And after we got together..." he trailed off as he tried to
find the words for what he wanted to say. He unconsciously drew a pattern
on Stephen's chest as he worked it out. "After that, I think it threw me
through a loop for a bit."

     "Why?" Stephen breathed, not wanting to interrupt him.

     "Well, because in all my searching over the weeks before, nothing had
prepared me for what happened that weekend.  Honing, I don't know if I can
explain it properly. I have been with others, ja. It was something I had to
do to see if what I was feeling was right.  But with those others I was
with... Stephen, it wasn't that many." Eloy said.

     "I told you, it doesn't matter.  It's in the past.  And I couldn't
expect you to be celibate," Stephen replied.

     "But I wish I had been.  Because in one weekend with you I found what
it had taken me weeks searching for." Eloy said as he looked up into
Stephen's eyes.  "Only it took me a while to realize it.  I thought I
didn't want another relationship. And I thought a long time about whether
we could make this work."

     Stephen opened his mouth to say something and Eloy put a finger to his
lips to stop him.  "No, let me finish.  I've thought about this a lot
before I called you.  I know this won't be easy. And I'm willing to do what
I can to make it work.  But it's something we need to talk about.  Being
with you..." Eloy paused as he cast about for the right way to say it.
"What scared me that weekend was that everything felt so right to me.  I
could easily picture us together, and it seemed that things were moving too
fast and I got scared. But once I was back home, I got to thinking about
it. Well... I'll tell you Stephen, that I couldn't think of anything else
but that weekend and what we had done. And I'm not just talking about the
sex. Though that was, and is, incredible." Eloy smiled.  Stephen gently
kissed the fingers that were still resting against his lips. "It was more
than that.  Just being together, and sharing everything. Being with you is
easy.  There's no stress.  No dem!  ands. And we synch together so well.  I
guess I've always known that as friends.  But when I thought of us being a
couple, of waking up every morning beside you... ah, baby... I'm kicking
myself for taking as long as I did. I was such a fool."

   Stephen closed his eyes, willing himself to not tear up.  The lost tone
in Eloy's voice as he tried to explain the past few months tore right
through him.  "That makes two fools then, Eloy."

    "Huh?" Eloy said,looking up with a confused expression on his
face. "What do you mean?"

    "You weren't the only one to go off and think about this.  I knew what
happened that weekend.  It was absolutely fantastic.  And the idea that it
might not work out... or that you weren't interested," Stephen sighed and
rested his cheek against the top of Eloy's head.  "I have to admit that for
weeks afterwards I was a bit of an arse.  The lads could tell you.  I was
an absolute bear.  Every night I'd come to my hotel room, and it would seem
so empty.  I never knew what was missing before.  I always knew that it was
something, but it was nothing I could put my finger on.  But after that
weekend with you.... Damn," Stephen swore softly and Eloy reached up to
reassure him.  "I knew what I was missing.  And it hurt not to have it." He
closed his eyes, unable to stop from feeling the pain of that time.

     "I'm sorry," Eloy said softly.

     Stephen continued without noticing Eloy's comment, so caught up he was
in the past himself. "And you know what the worst part was?" He asked,
opening his eyes to stare up at the ceiling.  "Being alone. Sitting in a
hotel room all alone and feeling sorry for myself. Wondering where you
were. Were you doing the same thing and looking at the ceiling?  Or were
you with someone and not thinking of me at all?  And I wanted so much to do
things I couldn't.  Not being able to hold you.  Not being held," his voice
trailed off and he tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. "I just
wanted someone to hold. And I wanted it to be you."

     Eloy pushed himself up off of Stephen's chest and pulled him into a
hug. He was crying, the tears running down his cheeks.  He heard the ache
in Stephen's voice and he mentally kicked himself for the lost time over
the past few months.

     "I'm so sorry, Stephen.  I never meant to hurt you." He rained kisses
on Stephen's face, trying to blur the memory away.  "I'm sorry."

     "It's not your fault, Eloy.  It's my own. I knew it was going to take
time for you to work things out.  I promised myself I'd be there waiting,
ready.  But with the pace of this tour, and everything, I guess I was a bit
more worn down than I wanted to admit.  Awww, honey, don't cry.  Please
don't." Stephen begged, cradling Eloy's face with his hands.  He kissed
him, willing away the pain. "We're together now.  The past is done. You're
here, and however we do it, we'll find a way. We'll make this work."

     Eloy rested his cheek against Stephen's. "Ja, I know.  And I want it
to work.  Whatever it takes. I need you, Stephen. You're in my soul now."
He pulled back to stare into Stephen's eyes, his own still glistening with
unshed tears. "And in my heart."

     Stephen stared into Eloy's eyes, his lips trembling. "You are my
heart, baby.  All I've ever wanted. All I'll ever want. I love you."

     "I love you, too." Eloy whispered back. He gradually loosened his grip
on Stephen's shoulders.  There were red marks where he had grabbed him,
trying so hard to get his point across.

     Stephen reached up, his hand shaking, and cupped it around Eloy's
face. "Hold me, honey."  Eloy wrapped his arms around Stephen and pulled
him against his chest.  Stephen clung to him as Eloy whispered endearments
to him. He paused between each to kiss Stephen, until he buried his face
against Stephen's neck.  They lay clasped in each other's arms for a long
time before Stephen loosened his grip and moved back enough to rub his
cheek against Eloy's.

     "Ah, thank you.  I needed that," he whispered into Eloy's ear.

     "Ja, so did I.  I forgot how nice it was to just lie in someone else's
arms like this." Eloy replied softly.  He looked into Stephen's eyes and
smiled. "And it's more special because it's with you."  They kissed, Eloy's
lips lightly brushing against Stephen's. He hovered for a moment until
Stephen leaned back into the kiss and pushed his tongue past Eloy's lips
and into his mouth. He wound his arms around Eloy's neck before pulling one
hand back to rub its way across Eloy's chest.  Eloy shuddered with reaction
to what Stephen was doing with his mouth. He closed his eyes and let
Stephen move to his neck, kissing his way along his collarbone.  His
fingers crept through Stephen's hair, pushing the strands back off his
face.

     Stephen paused for a moment as he looked up at Eloy's face.  Eloy had
his eyes closed, his lips were parted from their kiss.  His cheeks were
flushed and he was panting slightly.  He had never looked more desirable to
Stephen than he did in that moment.

     He started placing kisses all along Eloy's chest, taking his time as
he went.  Eloy lightly stroked Stephen's back, encouraging him along.
Occasionally he'd shiver as Stephen hit an especially sensitive area before
moving on to another place.

     Their lovemaking was slow and easy.  They took their time in their
loving.  It was so different from the other times where they had
practically mauled each other in comparison. Stephen was delighted to find
that he could make Eloy shiver.  Eloy in turn took his time in finding what
Stephen liked best.  The stopped only long enough for Eloy to pull out the
condoms he had placed in his pants pocket when he had gone upstairs to get
the wine.  Stephen wasn't going to question it anymore.  There had to be
trust between them, and honesty, and most of all, acceptance.

     "Ah, that's it, baby," Stephen gasped as Eloy slowly sucked his length
into his mouth.  "It feels so good when you do that."  He inhaled sharply
as Eloy pressed a finger inside him.  He encouraged Eloy with whispers and
his hands, which followed Eloy's head up and down.  "Ah, God, babe."

     Eloy felt the tension in Stephen's hands as he came close to coming
and picked up his pace.  A few moments later Stephen let out a gasp and
came with a rush. As Stephen came back to him and opened his eyes, Eloy let
go of him and crawled up his body, licking and kissing as he went.  They
kissed, their bodies intertwined.

     "Thank you, babe." Stephen said with a smile as they broke off their
kiss.  He worked his hand down to where he could grasp Eloy and gently
stroked him to completion.  Eloy was staring into his eyes as he came and
Stephen was pleased to see the smile on Eloy's face.  "Good?"

     "Ja," Eloy whispered huskily before collapsing on top of Stephen.
Stephen wrapped his arms around Eloy's chest and hugged him tight.  Soon,
their breathing slowed, and they lay in comfortable silence together.

     A moment later they were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the
phone.  Stephen groaned. Eloy started laughing and he lifted his head up to
look enquiringly at Stephen.

     "Are you going to answer that?" He asked.

     "Hell no!" Stephen said indignantly.  He stretched over to the phone
and disconnected the cable from the back.  The clock next to the phone read
11:15.  With a sigh, he collapsed back into the bed.  "If that's Michelle,
I'm going to murder her!"

     Eloy laughed and Stephen could feel the low rumble of his laughter
against his stomach.  "Now, you couldn't do that!" He said reproachfully.

     "Well, of course not.  But her timing is awful!" Stephen said with a
rueful laugh.  "I'll call her in the morning.  I promise.  But for now, I
just want to be with you, all right?"  He pulled Eloy back so that Eloy was
resting his cheek on Stephen's chest again.  Wrapping his arms around his
lover, he sighed deeply.  "This is all I want for tonight."

     "Just this?" Eloy asked, a teasing tone in his voice.  "And here I am,
thinking of doing it again."

     "Now?" Stephen asked, astonished.  He felt Eloy's laughter again and
chuckled.  "Nah, I don't think so.  You have to learn some patience first."

     "Ah, but liefste, you'll find I'm not the patient type at all," Eloy
warned him.

     "Heh, we'll see.  Hush now and let me get some rest."  Stephen said as
he ran his fingers up and down Eloy's spine.  Soon he drifted off to sleep,
a smile on his face.