Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 15:57:15 -0400
From: musicfan <musicfan@subdimension.com>
Subject: Where Do We Go 24

Disclaimer:

   If you've gotten this far, you know that it is the twenty fourth chapter
in an on-going series. At the risk of repeating myself, I have neither
relationship with either Stephen Gately or Eloy de Jong, nor the groups
Boyzone or Caught in the Act.  This story is a complete work of fiction and
purely created within the writer's imagination.

   I have been enjoying the comments I have been getting and would love to
hear what you think.  Please write.

   Cheers,

   Musicfan


###


     Stephen let the hotel room door close behind him and he went over to
pick up the phone next to the bed.  Kicking off his shoes, he dialed his
sister's number and sat down.  It ran briefly before she picked up.

     "Hey hon, it's me." He said, shimmying out of his shirt while he
talked.

     "Why hello Me.  How are you?" Michelle asked with a hint of a laugh in
her voice. She was sitting on the loveseat in her parlour watching the
telly when the phone rang.  She lowered the volume with the remote so she
could hear Stephen better.

     "Good.  How are things back home?" Stephen asked.  He sat down on the
bed in his t-shirt and jeans.  He kicked off his socks and propped himself
up against the headboard so he was comfortable.

     "Great.  No one's burned down the house or anything," Michelle said
with a laugh.  She smiled as Alan came in with a cup of tea for her.  He
looked inquiringly at her until she mouthed Stephen's name.  Knowing she'd
probably be a while he nodded and went back to his newspaper in the other
room.  "How'd it go today?"

     "Fantastic.  We got right into the groove with everything.  I really
like the songs we're working on right now.  This looks like it's going to
be a great album.  And Louis was talking to us this morning about working
with some other studios, to change the sound, you know?  We might end up in
New York, which I think would be cool."  He stretched out his legs and
buried his toes in the covers.  It felt so good to be off his feet.

     Stephen's enthusiasm brought a smile to Michelle's face.  He really
sounded upbeat about it, which was good.  "Oh, that's grand, honey.  But
does that mean that you're going to be working so hard that I don't get to
see you at all?"

     "Ah, you will, Shel.  We were just talking today about making sure we
get some time off so we don't get run down.  That last promo and tour
schedule was insane.  Nothing like that again, I promise." Stephen said
with a heartfelt sigh.

    "Good to hear.  Though I'm sure you'd rather be with your friends than
come home when you get a chance."  Michelle debated on whether to come and
just ask Stephen what was going on.  She was still dying of curiosity.
"Are you still visiting with your friend Eloy?"

    "No, he went back to Holland already." Stephen said. He wasn't paying
attention as a stray melody floated around in his head and he reached for
the hotel pad to jot it down.  It felt like the lyrics he had worked on
with Steve Mac, and he wanted to keep it in his head for the next time they
got together.

    "Did you two have fun together?" She asked.

    "Yeah, we did.  It was great having someone else to chat with and kick
around with here." Stephen said. He felt surprised that he was able to talk
about Eloy without feeling that gaping emptiness inside that he had had
last night.

    "Good, I'm glad you had fun." Michelle said.  She glanced over into the
next room to see if Alan was paying attention to her conversation.  When
she saw he wasn't, she stirred her tea a bit and debated about how to ask
Stephen about how much fun he had had. "Hope you didn't have so much fun
that you weren't careful, though."

    Stephen nearly dropped the phone. "What?" He asked, not sure he heard
her right.

    "Stephen, you of all people should know you can't fool me.  You went to
London early, but you haven't been around any of the times I called you.
You didn't sleep in your room.  Where were you?  You were with him.  It's
okay, I'm fine with it. I'm even happy for you, that you found someone that
you can be with." Michelle said in a rush.

    "How'd you know I wasn't in my room?" Stephen blurted without
thinking. He winced as soon as he did, because he was basically admitting
to what she said.

    "Because I called you one night and you didn't pick up." Michelle said
with a laugh.  "I had a feeling about this friend of yours and had to check
a hunch out."

    "You did?" Stephen didn't know whether to be mad or not, but settled on
an embarrassed laugh.  He should have known he wasn't going to keep this
one from her for long.

    "Mmm hmmm." Michelle said. "So, now that I know... Tell me all about
him."

    Stephen was at a loss at where to start, or whether he should say
anything at all. "Well, there's not much to say." He murmured softly. He
shifted uncomfortably on the bed, trying to think of a good reason that he
couldn't talk to her anymore.

    "Liar," she said smugly.  "Is he good in bed?"

    "MICHELLE!" Stephen exclaimed. He could feel himself blushing. "I'm not
going to answer that!"

    "And why not?" She asked reasonably. She took a sip of her tea and
rested her head on the back of her chair.

    "Like you tell me about how good Alan is in bed!" Stephen retorted.

    "He's great." Michelle promptly replied. "Does everything I like.  Even
that little thing where he..."

    "I don't want to hear it!" Stephen interrupted, shocked. "I don't
believe I'm having this conversation with you." He could hear Michelle
laughing on the other end of the phone. "You're terrible!"

    "I am not," she said as she recovered enough to talk.  "Honey, I'm just
happy you found someone.  You have, haven't you?"

    Stephen knew he wasn't going to get out of this one without telling her
something.  And as he thought about it, it was probably better to get it
done with over the phone than face to face, when she could see him
blushing.  "Yeah, I have."

    "Ah, that's grand, hon.  Tell me more.  I've been dying to know since I
talked with him the other night.  He has a very sexy voice, you know." She
said.

    Stephen laughed.  "Yes, he does. Let's see... what's there to tell?"

    "Well, how about at the beginning?" Michelle suggested.

    Stephen thought about it, trying to think of how he could edit around
the story for his sister to be satisfied without telling her too much.
"Well, I think I've always been interested in him.  He's quite good
looking.  And ever since we met, we always hit it off together.  He was in
a relationship, but finally broke up earlier this year. It's always been
rocky, even at the best of times. And I guess all the traveling and being
on the road was a big part of the problem.  Finally Eloy realized it was
both tearing them apart, and he broke it off. Though he knew it was the
right thing to do, he was pretty torn up about it.  So I suggested we meet
up, hoping to distract him. That's when we got together and went to Disney.
He was feeling down and I thought I'd use my break to cheer him up."
Stephen said.  He was toying with the telephone cord as he thought back to
that fateful weekend. "Well, in the process, we both surprised ourselves."

    "Oh?" Was all Michelle said as she waited for her brother to continue.

    "Well, we were horsing around and the next thing I knew, we were
kissing." Stephen paused, his eyes closed. It felt good to tell someone
about what had happened.  For the longest time, he had wondered if it
really had happened. "It kind of progressed from there."

    "I imagine so.  And then what happened?" Michelle asked.

    "Well, after that weekend, I went back on tour and he went home to work
on an album with his group.  I think we were both pretty confused, since
neither of us had expected anything like that to happen.  But I realized
that the longer we were apart that the more I wanted to see him.  But with
him just coming off a relationship, I didn't want to push him.  So I
started writing notes, like to the ones I sent to you and the boys.
Keeping in touch without pushing.  Apparently it worked, because he called
me up and wanted to get together."  Stephen glossed over the months of
angst he had gone through in the waiting process.  "That's when we met this
week.  Originally he was coming over for just a night, because I was going
into the studio, but then it got pushed back because the engineer wasn't
available.  So we met up here in London."

   "And?" She asked, trying to keep the eagerness out of her voice. She
wasn't about to berate him for not telling her any of what had happened
when he had been home before.  She had known something was up, but hadn't
realized what kind of turmoil he had probably been going through. Suddenly,
his moody silences when they had talked made a lot of sense.

   "And..." Stephen paused as he thought over the past week. "And we met
up. He told me that he had been thinking a lot over what had happened, and
about me. And then --- he told me he had fallen in love with me." Stephen
felt a warm glow as he said the words.  He could hear his sister sigh when
he said that. She was such a romantic.

   "And what did you say to that?" She asked, a bit breathless.

   "Honestly?" He said, laughing a little. "I couldn't get a word out."

   "Oh no!" She exclaimed.  "What did you do?"

   "I think I lost my voice.  I couldn't even get a squeak out." Stephen
said, remembering. "Finally I had to get up and go over to him.  Poor man
wouldn't even look at me, he was so afraid I was going to reject him.  As
if I would!  God, he's gorgeous, Shel. You know, the first time I saw him,
I thought he was the one for me.  When I found out he was with someone, I
figured that was it.  And when we got to be good friends I realized how
much we had in common. So I think there was this little bit inside of me
that kept on hoping that one day, maybe it would work out.  He's the one,
Shel. The one I've been waiting for all my life."

   "Oh honey, that's wonderful." Michelle said.  "I'm so happy for you
both. And I'll forgive you in advance if it means you'd rather go visit him
than come home for a visit with me."

   "We're still working things out," Stephen said. "And we know it's going
to be hard.  Hell, it's not like either of us can go anywhere without being
noticed, so we're going to have to be careful. But we're going to make this
work.  I can't go back. Just having him leave yesterday was like losing a
part of my soul." He paused and closed his eyes, not wanting to get choked
up about it.

   "Well, if you need a place to meet, just let me know.  I can arrange
something here. That way it won't look strange for you to come home and you
can meet him here." Michelle said, already making plans.

   "Thanks, Shel.  For listening, and for being so willing to help out."
Stephen said softly.  She was the best.

   "Stephen, I'm just happy for you.  That you've found someone that you
can love, and who loves you back.  You don't know how long I've been hoping
that this day would come, hon. And if there is anything I can do to help on
this end, please let me know." She said earnestly.

   "You're a love, you know that?" Stephen said. "I'll keep that in mind.
Who knows, maybe I'll take you up on that offer."

   "You do that, sweetie," she said. "Now, do the rest of the guys know
anything yet?"

   "Well, Ro knows a lot, but not who.  I think Shane has a good idea
something's up, but I haven't talked to him about it yet.  As for the
others, no. Not yet." Stephen said.

   "I'm sure they'd be willing to help you out if you ask, too." Michelle
said positively.

   "Yeah, maybe.  I don't want to drag them into this, though.  Its
something I have to do for myself, you know?  But we've already talked to
Louis about getting time off.  Once we get the schedule set up, I'll
probably go to Holland to visit with Eloy.  I'm a bit excited about it all.
He's told me so much about his family, and his mother has been asking to
meet me.  Shel, this feels so damn good. I can't really explain it."

   "I know, hon. You're in love.  That's lovely." She said softly.  A noise
made her look up and she saw Jordan standing at the top of the stairs.
"Jordie, what are you doing up?  Back to bed with you."

   Stephen glanced down at his watch and saw how much time had
passed. "Poor lad, can't sleep?  I better let you go hon. I promised I'd
give Eloy a call, and he's an hour ahead."

   "All right," she said, distracted. "I'll let you go.  But you give me a
call when you know more, Stephen!  Keep me up to date and all!"

   "I will.  Love you." He said, preparing to ring off.

   "Love you right back. Good night, sweetie." Michelle said.

   Stephen sat for a moment with his finger on the hook before lifting it
and dialing Eloy's number.  It rang a few times and he began to get nervous
that he had waited too late.

   "Hallo?" a deep voice answered and he relaxed as he recognized Eloy's
voice.

   "Hey babe." Stephen said, smiling into the phone.  "Sorry I'm late."

   "Nah, it's okay.  I was just up on the deck and had to climb down to get
the phone.  Did you have a good dinner with Ronan?" Eloy poured himself a
glass of wine and carried both it and the cordless phone back up to the
deck.  It was beautiful out and he had been enjoying the evening up on the
roof.

   "Yeah, it was good." Stephen paused for a moment as he listened to Eloy
sigh.  "What're you doing?"

   "Just going back up to the deck.  It's lovely tonight.  The stars are
out." Eloy said as he leaned back in his chair and stared up at the sky.

   "Damn, wish I could be there with you," Stephen said softly. He closed
his eyes and tried to envision Eloy sitting up on the rooftop somewhere in
Amsterdam.

    "So do I, lover." Eloy said in the same tone.  Stephen felt himself
grow warm at the endearment and he smiled.

    "Well, with luck, it will be soon." Stephen said positively. "We talked
with Louis this morning and we're working out the schedule for some breaks.
Hopefully I'll know more in a day or two."

    "Goed," Eloy said, happy to hear that Stephen was feeling so upbeat.
"How did your day go in the studio?"  He stretched out his legs onto the
stool next to the chair and leaned back to look up at the stars while he
listened to Stephen talking.

    "Excellent!  We got off to a good start.  Got some tracks down, though
we'll have to record some more on the backing vocals.  But I'm really happy
with the way things got started today.  There's a chance we might go to
either Cheiron or The Loft or Record Plant in New York. I have to admit I'm
a bit excited about that, because working with different people will be
good for the music.  But all that traveling is going to be a bit much."
Stephen found himself just babbling along, eager to share his day with
Eloy.

    "That's an excellent opportunity," Eloy said encouragingly.  "I've
worked at Cheiron.  They've got great people there.  And going to New York
would be fabulous, Stephen.  Maybe you can make it into the States that
way, with one of those producers behind you all."

    "Well, who knows if it will even happen," Stephen said
offhandedly. "But it's nice to think about.  How was your day?"

    "Nice.  I had lunch with Mama and Luci, which was wonderful.  We had
ourselves a grand old time chatting and catching up.  They were eager to
hear about my trip," Eloy said with a grin.

    "Oh?" Stephen asked.  "And what did you tell them?" He felt a shiver of
anticipation.

    "Oh, not much.  Just that I found the man of my dreams and that I want
to spend the rest of my life with him." Eloy said.

    "Hmmm, this man anyone I know?" Stephen asked with a silly grin on his
face.

    "Maybe," Eloy said, a chuckle rumbling through him.  "They are both
thrilled, and are dying to meet you.  I do hope you all work out the
schedule soon so you can come out here for a visit and meet them."

    "I'd really like that, Eloy. From what you told me, they're both
lovely.  And E?" Stephen said.

    "Ja?" Eloy asked as he sipped at his glass of wine.

    "I told Michelle about us tonight." Stephen said quietly.

    "Ja? And what did she say?" Eloy asked.

    "Actually, she guessed before I told her." Stephen said with a laugh.
"Do you know what she did?  She called one of the nights we were together
and when she didn't get an answer, put two and two together and figured
where I was.  Asked me if you were good in bed."

     Eloy roared with laughter.  "And what did you tell her?"

     "I was shocked, actually.  Asked her if I would ever ask her about her
and Alan.  Then she proceeded to tell me!  Christ, like I need to know what
my sister likes to do in bed!"  Stephen could feel himself blushing as he
remembered the conversation.  "We were soon off of that part, but it was a
close one."

     "I can't wait to meet her.  She sounds hysterical." Eloy said. He
could imagine Stephen's reaction to her question and he held back another
chuckle.  He knew how shy Stephen could get, and the last thing he'd want
to do was talk to his older sister about his sex life.

     "Oh, a barrel of laughs.  Usually at my expense," Stephen said wryly.
"Anyhow, she wheedled some of the details out of me and then promptly
offered to help us if we needed it."

     "Really?" Eloy asked. "How so?"

     "Well, I said that we knew it was going to be difficult, but that
together we were going to make this work.  But that doing so without being
recognized was going to be hard."  Stephen got up, went over to his
mini-bar and pulled out a can of soda.  He made his way back to the bed and
shucked out of the rest of his clothes.  "She suggested that we meet in
Ireland and that she'd set something up.  That way it wouldn't look
suspicious for me to go home and you could be there when I get there."

     "It's a good idea, actually," Eloy said thoughtfully.  "Plus, she gets
to watch."

     "Eloy!" Stephen exclaimed over Eloy's laughter. "You're just as bad as
she is!  I can't believe you said that!"  Eloy didn't respond for a couple
of minutes because he was too busy laughing to say anything.  Stephen shook
his head ruefully, wondering what he had let himself in for.  Between his
sister and Eloy, they were bound to give him a heart attack sooner or
later.  He had to chuckle though, because Eloy's laughter was so
infectious.

     "Well, we'll figure it out once we know what your schedule is," Eloy
said when he could finally speak again.  "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist."

     "Yeah, right." Stephen said, a doubtful tone in his voice. "Try a
little harder next time."  That set Eloy off again and Stephen rolled his
eyes, but he had a huge grin on his face at the same time.

     Eventually Eloy calmed down again.  "You getting ready for bed?" He
asked.  The wine was making him sleepy as he sat in his chair up on the
deck.

     "Already there," Stephen said. "I got out of my clothes as soon as I
got in the room."

     "Oh my, what an image that presents to me." Eloy said in a low
voice. "You trying to tease me, zusje?"

     "Never, hon," Stephen said softly. "Believe me, the last thing I want
to do is frustrate either of us."

     "I know," Eloy replied with a sigh.  "Damn, I can see you so clearly
now.  You on top of the covers?"

     "I am," Stephen said with a smile. "Just me in my all together. How
about you?"

     "Feeling entirely overdressed right now," Eloy said
uncomfortably. "Damn. I think I need to remedy that." He pulled at his
jeans to relieve the pressure against him.

     "I'm sorry," Stephen said.  "We better not continue this or its going
to get a lot more uncomfortable." He was getting an erection from the way
Eloy was talking to him and knew that they were both going to be pretty
frustrated if they kept on in this vein much longer.

     "Or," Eloy said in a gravelly voice. "We can keep it up and take it
further.  Which would you like, babe?"  Stephen closed his eyes at the raw
tone of Eloy's voice.

     "Shit, Eloy." Stephen rasped. "I can't."  The sound of Eloy breathing
harshly in his ear was turning him on.  "I've never done this before."

     "First time for everything.  Just close your eyes, Stephen." Eloy
said, his voice low. "Feel me touching you."

     "Eloy, don't." Stephen begged. "I can't do this."

     "Why not? I'm right there with you, baby. I've got my arms around
you. I'm touching you right now.  Can't you feel me caressing your face?"
Eloy had his eyes closed as he envisioned what he was saying. He could
picture Stephen lying in the bed with himself crouched low over him. "Turn
off the light, Stephen."

     Stephen found himself trembling. "E..."

     "Shhhh," Eloy said, his voice dropping lower. "Turn off the light,
vrijster.  I'm running my fingers down your chest now.  Oooh, it feels so
good."

     "Eloy, please." Stephen said in a tiny voice, losing the battle. He
could almost feel Eloy touching him and he shivered.  "Please don't."

     "Can't stop now," Eloy whispered softly in his ear. "I'm just getting
to the interesting part."

     "I..." Stephen cried softly, still trying to voice a protest.

     "Stil," Eloy murmured softly, his voice a low rumble in Stephen's ear.
"Stil... hush, honing. Let me love you." He ached with the need to hold
Stephen in his arms, and settled for a mental image with a small sigh.

     "No, this is going to make it worse. I -- I can't baby.  I really
can't." Stephen begged.  He couldn't let this continue.  It would rip apart
the fragile peace he had built for himself today, and he really couldn't go
through what he had over the past few months, yearning so much and hurting
at being alone.  In some ways, this would be worse, he thought to himself.

     The tone of panic in Stephen's voice finally got through to Eloy and
he stopped.  "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Damn, I'm so sorry I had to come
back."

     "So am I," Stephen replied softly.  They sat in silence for a moment,
each lost in his own thoughts.  "And I'm sorry I can't do what you want,
Eloy.  But I think it's better for both of us if we don't go down that
road."

     "Ja, you're probably right," Eloy said with a resigned sigh. "But
damn, zusje, I miss you so much right now.  Please hurry up and get your
schedule straightened out as soon as you can.  And I'll do what I have to
on my end to free up for when you can come over."

     "Yeah, I'll work on it," Stephen promised.  "You don't know how much I
need to get this straightened out.  I need you so damn much." His voice
quavered on the last words and he leaned his head back against the wall.
He really didn't want to fall apart over the phone right now.

     Eloy was silent for a moment. "Babe, do me a favour?"

     "What's that?" Stephen said softly.

     "Turn off the light and get under the covers," Eloy said. "No, I'm not
going back to that. But please do it."

     Stephen sighed. "All right."  He reached over and turned off the lamp
and then crawled under the duvet.  He shivered slightly as the cold sheets
touched him.  "Light's off."

     "You all wrapped up?" Eloy asked.

     "Yeah, I am." Stephen said, resting his cheek on the pillow.

     "Okay, imagine this.  I'm going to wrap my arms around you.  How's
that feel?" Eloy asked, his voice a mere whisper in Stephen's ear.

     "I feel it," Stephen said softly. "It feels nice."

     "I'm going to imagine myself holding you all night long. I can't think
of anything better than that, can you?" Eloy said.

     "No," Stephen whispered back.  "I guess this will do for now. I love
you."

     "I love you, too, babe. Don't ever forget that. Now, it's getting
late.  I'm going to let you get some sleep.  You have another busy day
tomorrow."

     "What are you doing tomorrow?" Stephen asked sleepily.

     "Got a photo shoot with the lads for the new album, then some planning
for the release. Enough to keep me busy," Eloy replied.

     "Sounds like fun," Stephen murmured.

     "Not really," Eloy said with a chuckle.  "But it's something to do. I
should let you get to sleep, so I'm going to say goodnight now.  Sleep
tight, kindje."

     "Mmmm, I don't want to hang up though." Stephen said. "I love
listening to you."

     "And I love talking with you, baby.  But if we don't hang up soon, the
sun will be coming up and neither of us will be able to face working." Eloy
said.  "So it's probably best if we say goodnight now."

     "I suppose," Stephen said. "Are you going to be able to sleep?"

     "Ja, I will.  I'm just going to think of you in my arms and I'll drift
right off, thinking that." Eloy replied.  "Love you."

     "Love you right back, baby." Stephen whispered. "Go get some rest,
love.  I'll talk to you tomorrow."

      After they had rung off, Stephen lay in the dark with the phone still
cradled against his cheek.  It was only once it started making that noise
that it had been off the hook too long that he placed it back on the
cradle.  It was quiet in the hotel room as he burrowed back under the
covers.  He closed his eyes tightly, trying to recapture that feeling of
Eloy wrapping his arms around him.

      After a half hour or so of laying alone in the dark, he sighed and
rolled over to turn on the lamp again.  It wasn't working.  He could hear
every noise out in the hallway.  Keith and Shane had come in not too long
ago, laughing their butts off as they headed to their rooms.  He wanted to
get up and open the door, but he stayed in bed.  Running to Keith wasn't
the answer tonight.  He rolled over restlessly and stared at the phone.
The piece of paper where he had jotted the note down caught his attention
and he sat up and grabbed it.  With a sigh he spread it out over the covers
and looked at it again.  The melody ran through his head again and he added
a couple of lines.  Obviously he wasn't going to get any sleep this night.

###

     Eloy lay in his bed, hands propped behind his head. His mind raced
over the details of the last week, his conversation with Stephen running
through his head.  Despite his comment to Stephen, he found he couldn't
sleep.  He rolled over to his side and stared across his empty bed.

     " Oh, op welke manier mij ben zoek u wel, zusje.." He whispered into
the dark.  It was a lot harder tonight than it had been last night.  He
wondered why it would seem so different, but couldn't come up with any
explanation.  He closed his eyes, trying to picture Stephen lying next to
him.  Eventually he pulled the other pillow into his arms and hugged it
tight.  But sleep eluded him for a long time that night.