Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 07:31:17 EST
From: Angel36745@aol.com
Subject: Where You Are 1

  Disclaimer: I do not know 98 degrees. I have never met them, most likely
I never will. This is just a story, that's it a story something I made
up. It's not real in anyway shape or form. If it was I would be crying my
eyes out.

  Warning: There may be sex in this story, you know the rules to that. I
wouldn't say that this story has a dark plot. I will say that this will be
my sadest story. It's been bouncing around in my head for a few months
now. I know how's it going to end, and begin, but the middle is going to be
a little hard.

  Authors note: It's me again, I hope you haven't forgotten me. Another 98
degrees story, who would have thought I would leave the BSB alone long
enough? Like I said in the warning this is a very sad story. It's all
because of a song that gave me a really weird dream. The story is going to
follow my dream all the way. It was a short dream, so I'm going to make it
a little longer. This will most likely on have two parts to it, maybe
three. I might right more, but I may not be able to. Ok I would like to
thank a few people for all their help. The first person I have to thank is
Kenitra, without all of your help I would have never started writing. Then
to my best friend Eddi, your great man thanks for everything. He's been a
great help to me in so many ways. To Fallen Angel for giving me a few ideas
on this story when I asked. You should also read his story French Kiss Me,
it's really good. You should also read anything and I mean anything by
Kenitra. Ok now what I love most about my stories, my symbols. These ***
mean a character change or who I'm starting with in the beginining of the
story or chapter. When I am starting a chapter I will put the name of the
character in the middle of the symbols. If I'm in the middle or somewhere
else in the story the name will follow the symbols. Now on with the story,
and if you have time mail me.
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***Nick***

  I was on my way to the hospital, Drew had called me. My boyfriend had
just been in a really bad car accident. I had asked him how bad but he
wouldn't tell me, that worried me more. I had this sinking feeling in my
heart, like I was losing something. As I drove, I had flashbacks of our
time together. I remembered the first time I saw him looking at me, it had
been interesting. I had been sitting in a park listening to my CD player.
Drew had been watching a guy for the last ten minutes. It had been six
years ago, so much time and still so little. I had decided that I would
check this guy out myself. I turned around slowly to see what had to be the
hottest guy I've ever seen. He had to be close to six feet tall, and he was
built perfectly. His eyes were closed as he stretched, his body moved in a
fluid motion. His body was tanned lightly, his hair a dark blond. Then he
opened his eyes and looked straight into mine. Up until that point I had
never had my breath taken away. His eyes were like three or four different
colors, all of them seemed to blend. He smiled slowly and walked toward us,
I started to turn red. I wasn't out of the closet yet, and normally I
didn't check guys out so openly. "Do you see something you like, or are my
shorts ripped in the back?" He started turning in circles, it was funny.

  He stopped and look at both of, his smile only getting bigger. "Sorry the
name's Ken, nice to meet you." I shook his hand and stood up, he was a
little taller than I was. "I'm Nick and this is my little brother Drew."
Drew stood up and shook his hand, Drew wasn't the only one standing up. "So
do you come here often, or is this a once in a lifetime thing?" He was so
forward, not forceful just open and nice. "We don't live that far from
here, how about you?" His smiled seem to get bigger after he heard the
question. "I just moved here, don't know how long I'll be staying." For
some reason when he said he might be gone soon. I had this feeling that I
couldn't live without him, it was just so weird. "It was nice meeting you,
I better get to jogging. The sun looks like it's getting close to setting."
He started to turn away and my mind went spinning. "That's what I was about
to do, mind if I join you?" He shook his head slowly then waved for me to
join him. He started jogging and I stayed foot behind him. I watched his
body move, and he had a great body. His ass was tight and round, almost
perfect in my eyes. I jogged up beside him, his face was set in stone. He
didn't look anywhere, but where he was going. I noticed that I was no
longer alone. Drew was right beside me, but he wasn't looking forward.

  It was the first time I had started getting a little out of breath. Ken
had ran around the whole park seven times so far. Drew had kept up with us
without a problem, which was becoming a problem. He had started to pay
attention to where he was running and not what was bouncing up and down. I
had looked myself a few times, he had to be hung. I had looked back at the
path after a second. No need to show him that Drew wasn't the only one
standing up and being counted. We stopped jogging after the eighth lap as I
was starting to call it. He slowed down to a walk then looked over at me
and Drew. "Sorry about not talking much, but I have to stay in shape." I
just smiled and kept my pace right beside him. "It's cool man, I'm the same
way most of the time." Drew had been staying really quite, that's how I
knew he was interested. The only problem was, I was interested, too. He
then stopped and dropped down onto the grass. Both Drew and myself hadn't
seen it coming. He looked up at us with his arms hanging over his legs. It
took everything I had not to look between his legs. Drew had a huge grin on
his face, then we both sat down on different sides of him. "So what does
this town have that could be called a night life?" I looked at Drew and
smiled, we knew where every single club was.

  We made arrangements to meet up with Ken a few hours later. Then we both
took off to get ready and look our best. I jumped into the shower and
started washing every single inch of my body. I had to be perfect, I knew
that Drew was doing the same thing. We had something like this happen once
before in high school. It had been a girl at that time, that's why we were
still on good terms. I had told Drew I was gay in high school shortly after
he told me. I hadn't freaked out, and neither had he. It was a really good
time in our lives. After we had both gotten out of high school we told our
parents. I had been so scared, so had Drew, but it went really well. My
mother had cried a little my father had paced. Then when we thought it was
going to get worse it didn't. My mother stopped crying and hugged each of
us. She told us that no matter what she would always love us. That she only
wanted us to be happy, and she wouldn't have it any other way. Then my
father walked into the room, his head hung low. My breath had caught in my
chest as he looked up at us. He had told us, it would take some time to get
use to, but he was fine with it. He had been a little upset, but he would
get over it and he did. I looked at myself in the mirror, why did this
matter so much?

  I had decided to wear some tight jeans and a loose white shirt. I fixed
my hair and looked into the mirror again. I didn't really know what else to
do, but wait, so I sat down. I guess I had rushed getting ready a little
too much. I turned the TV on and watched MTV for an hour. I knew that
someday I would be on there singing my heart out. It had always been a
dream, but I was going to make it come true. I looked at my watch and
jumped off my couch, I was going to be late. I rushed outside and jumped in
my car, I went straight to Drew's. He ran out of the apartment and jumped
into the car. "What took you so long, I was starting to get worried." I
told him I had lost track of time, he threw a huge fit and then went
quite. We were sitting outside of Ken's apartment, he wasn't outside
yet. "Should we go get him?" I looked at Drew and nodded, we both got out
and walked up to the door. We entered the apartment building and walked up
the stairs. I looked at the paper he had given me. I knocked on the door,
it opened seconds later. "Sorry not dressed yet, I kinda like to look
perfect. Come on in make yourselves at home, sorry about the mess." He
moved away from the door with only a towel around his waist. We walked in
and took seats on the couch

  I watched him run from room to room, he had left the towel and now ran
around in boxers. Then for about five minutes he stayed in his room. When
he came back out of the room he was wearing leather pants. Then as my eyes
traveled up his body I found that his shirt was skin tight. His hair fell
neatly over his forehead, he bent down and put his shoes on. I couldn't
take my eyes off of him, he was just amazing in every way. Then he looked
up and smiled at us, Drew looked drunk. "Do I look ok for the clubs or am I
over dressed?" I looked at him very closely, if I said over dressed would
he take his pants off? "I think you look fine, what do you think Nick?" I
smiled and nodded, for some reason I had lost my voice and Drew gained
one. "Cool, let me grab my coat and we'll go party." I stood up and moved
toward the door, Drew wasn't following. I went back and grabbed his arm, I
had to pull him to the door. Ken walked back out smiling, damn did he have
fashion sense. Then we hit every club that Drew and myself could think
of. Ken danced perfectly, he was almost too good to be true. Then he
started drinking, he had a lot of flaws when he drank. For one his dancing
suffered something major, but I didn't mind. He was holding my body close
to his, but I had never seen anyone dance like this.

  Drew was trying to steal the spot light, but it wasn't working yet. That
was until he got behind Ken and pressed his body up against his. I hadn't
seen that coming, or the fact that Ken let it continue. His eyes were
closed and we moved as one in his strange little dance. Drew looked a
little wild himself, he was going to get caught. Drew was only nineteen,
Ken had some how got him in. Now we were dancing in some weird way that was
for some reason really hot. Then I noticed it looked something like the
tango, only a lot more erotic. If you looked at it with unknowing eyes, it
looked like a threesome of sorts. My face was only an inch away from his, I
could feel his breath. He opened his eyes slowly, I got a really good look
at them. I counted four colors, there was blue in the center. The blue
mixed with a green, and the green went to a hazel, then a gray. He had the
weirdest eyes I had ever seen, but in a way the most beautiful. The music
was slowing to a stop, so he slowly stopped dancing. "I think I need to
take a seat, my legs are killing me." He then wrapped his arms around both
of our shoulders and walked toward a table. He sat down and let his head
fall back, his eyes closed. "You two are pretty good, where did you take
classes?" I looked at him, he had taken classes?

  He must have started to sober up because he didn't look drunk
anymore. "You mean you've danced like that before?" Drew looked a little
interested and mad, like he had been cheated. "Yes, when I was in New York,
I took classes there. I also took some classes in LA, and Flordia. I do a
lot of traveling, most of the time I get to stay in one place for a
month. If I'm lucky two, then it's back on the road to some new city." I
was really starting to get confused. "I'm a model, I have a few shoot's in
this city so I moved here for a while. I do print and runway, sometimes
other things." With that last comment he smiled lightly. "Dancing is my
hobby, without it I would go nuts. So I always look up every place I can
dance, when I move to a new place. To be honest I'm thrilled I ran into you
today. I don't get to make to many friends, you have no idea how much you
two mean to me. At least while I'm here, I'll have some cool people to hang
with, not some stuck up bitches." He wasn't smiling anymore, it looked like
he was thinking. I didn't mind he already considered me a friend. Drew
looked like he was in deep thought, then his face changed. "So, that dance
and all, it didn't mean anything to you?" Ken looked at him and smiled
brightly. "It was a great dance, but mean something to me? I thought it was
fun and all that, but it's not like it meant I was going to bed you. Or let
you bed me, what kind of guy do you think I am?" Ken still held his smile,
but it was one that was serious.

  Drew looked a little offended by Ken's bluntness. "Listen, I didn't mean
it to come out so harsh. I liked the dance a lot, but you have to
understand something. I dance a lot and I've even been in some shows where
I've danced. I'm a model, which means nudity and all that doesn't bother
me. The only reason I had a towel around my waist was, I didn't want to
offend you. A dance is a dance, love is so much more than a simple
touch. I'm sorry if I was leading you on Drew, really I am. I didn't
realize what you must have been thinking until now. So like when I touch
someone, it doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. I've had every inch of
my body touched and moved around, so it would be a good shot. I use to
being touched everywhere, and I mean everywhere. So it doesn't effect me
the same any more. When you had your hand on my hip, and your groin pressed
against my back side. I didn't take it as a sign that you liked me, I just
took it that you knew how to dance. I've danced with a lot of people doing
those same moves. I've been held the same way by other guys for a
picture. What I'm trying to say is this, I'm sorry that I hurt your
feeling. I just hope that you can forgive me in time, if you can't, I can
deal with it." Drew's mouth had dropped open and his eyes were wide. I just
had a hard time believing everything he had just said.

  It wasn't that I didn't understand him, I did. I just couldn't believe he
would let someone just mold him. I could understand someone maybe moving my
legs, or my head for a picture. Ken on the other hand didn't care if
someone grabbed his cock and moved it around. I did have one question, and
I hoped it killed the sour mood. "So like when they grab your cock, do you
get hard?" I said it smiling and almost laughing at the same time. He
looked at me and started laughing lightly. "I'm human, Nick, if they play
with it long enough, I get hard. Most of the time it's just business, so
they don't play around too much. The first time I walked down a runway, I
was sporting the biggest hard on. I thought I was going to die from the
tightness of the pants. It wasn't so bad, but it was interesting. After a
while things change, you get use to everything. Like if we had met, four
years ago and danced like that. Something may have happened, but now I'm
kinda use to it." Drew smiled a little, he was thinking of something. He
had this little grin forming on his lips. "So if someone was sitting on
your lap you wouldn't get hard?" Ken looked at him and nodded slowly, he
looked a little confused. I looked at Drew and shook my head, he ingored
me.

  Drew stood up and then walked around until he was standing behind
Ken. "Would you mind if I tried something out real quick?" Ken looked at
me, he looked even more confused than before. Then he nodded slowly, Drew
then pulled Ken's chair out slightly. He stood in front of him then took a
seat on his lap. Ken looked up and smiled at him and started laughing. To
my surprise Drew didn't get pissed or anything, he just smiled. "I'm
guessing I've proven my point, so if you wouldn't mind?" Drew continued to
smile as he stood up. He then went back to his seat, now I was
confused. "Ok, what was all that about?" Drew looked at me and smiled
sweetly. "Why don't you give it a shot Nick, see if you can turn him on."
Ken kept smiling but his breath seemed to catch. "Would you mind Ken, I
don't want to invade your space." His jaw seemed to tighten like he was
fighting something. "No, go right a head Nick, I don't mind at all." I
slowly stood up and walked around the table. I took a seat on his lap, at
first there was nothing. Then I felt something start to get a little
hard. I could see something in Ken's eyes, that looked like he was asking
me something. "It's the same, Drew, nothings changed at all, I guess he
just doesn't dig us that way." Ken silently let the breath that he had been
holding out. Drew's smile didn't waver in any way he just nodded. As I was
standing up he squeezed my leg gently.

********Ken

  All I could feel was pain slamming through my whole body. My vision was
blurring, and I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe this was happening, I
could taste the blood in my mouth. Drew was running beside me as the
doctors wheeled me into a room. He had already called Nick, I just hoped he
got here soon. I hadn't even seen the car coming at us, Drew had. He yelled
just seconds before it slammed into my side. I had thrown my self over
Drew, couldn't let my little buddy get hurt. I had held him until the car
stopped bouncing around. I know that my head had hit a lot of stuff on the
way. I had managed to keep Drew from getting hurt to bad. In fact he only
had a scratch on his forehead from what I could see. Drew had been the one
to pull me out of the car, he kept screaming for help. I had been laying on
the street, then I passed out for a while. I remembered waking up in
something that was moving. That was when the pain started, it was so in
tense. Drew was on his cell phone talking to Nick, he had to be. He had
tears streaming down his face. I didn't understand why he was crying, I
wasn't in that bad of shape. I noticed that the pain was starting to
lessen. I guess they had started some kind of pain killer, I was happy for
that.

  It also gave me a chance to think a little clearer. I remembered the
time, I thought I would lose Nick forever. It had been a few weeks since I
had started hanging out with him and Drew. I didn't think I could ever have
so much fun in my life. We even started working out together, then Nick
told me he would be leaving soon. Then Drew came by later that day to tell
me the same thing. I then got a phone call from my agency telling me after
the next shoot I was leaving. It was all happening so fast, I could believe
it. It felt weird, I had just made two of the greatest friends a guy could
ever have. I felt closer to them than I did to my own brother. I really
felt close to Nick, I had the hugest crush on him. That night he had saved
my ass, I owed him. I couldn't ask him out, he was going to be leaving
soon. I would, too, it wouldn't be right to ask him out. I lived a weird
life that never let me live in one place longer then a few months. He
didn't have that life, he was normal then at least. He was going to be
going to college, I was proud of him for that. I hadn't even finished high
school, I just started modeling. My mother had thought it was a good
idea. My father didn't even matter, I hadn't seen him, since I was
twelve. My brother had jumped my case for dropping out.

  I loved my brother, but he was such a pain in the ass. He was a little
older than I was and thought he knew everything. I guess in a way that's
why I liked Nick, we were the same age, and thought a like. He loved to
work out, I loved to work out, plus he could keep up. I liked Drew in the
same way, he was as built as Nick and myself. We all took care of
ourselves, well I drank every now and then. I knew that when I drank I got
a little wild but it wasn't that bad. It wasn't like I went running up and
down the street naked, well not any more. I found myself sitting in front
of Nick's apartment, I had walked. I didn't know if I was in the right
place. He had given me his address, but I wasn't to good at this. I walked
up to the door and started knocking softly. "Come on in Drew, I'll be out
in a minute." I smiled to myself and walked into the apartment. It was
neater than I thought it would be. I took a seat on the couch and laid
back, it was nice and soft. Nick walked out of a room drying his hair
off. He didn't have a towel around his waist, a nice surprise. He looked up
and his jaw dropped, he looked like he was getting pale. Then he covered
himself up really quickly. He couldn't speak which only made it a lot
better for me. "Don't worry Nick, you have nothing to be shy about." He
started turning red now, he was so cute when he blushed.

  I slowly pulled myself off the couch and walked toward him. He hadn't
moved yet, it was like he was frozen in his place. I put my lips right
beside his ear, he smelled so good right then. "I'll show you mine if you
show me yours." I heard the towel drop to the floor and I smiled to
myself. I unbuttoned my shirt then dropped my pants, all that was left were
my boxers. I slowly backed away and pulled them down then kicked them
off. I looked into his eyes, his smile said it all. I walked back up to
him, slowly pressing my body against his. "That wasn't so bad was it?" He
shook his head slowly, I could feel him getting hard. I knew that I
wouldn't be that far behind him, his hand moved around my waist. His touch
was so warm, his hands so soft and gentle. I ran my hand down his back
slowly causing him to arch his back. I places my hand on the small of his
back and pulled him even closer. His body was so hot and I'm not just
talking about the way he looked. I bent my neck slightly and kissed his
lips then bent more to move to his neck. His head fell back as I kissed and
licked his neck near his Adam's apple. He moaned softly, I moved back up to
his lips. He was so sweet to the taste, his lips so soft and smooth. He
parted his lips slowly, I teased his tongue with my own. The kiss started
to deepen.

  I searched his mouth with my tongue darting in and out quickly. I teased
his lips slightly, he put his hand on the back of my neck. If I had to say
good bye then I was going to make it worth awhile. He pulled back slowly,
and so softly, his eyes met mine. Then his eyes started to widen in
surprise, I knew what he was seeing. He got over it quickly and pulled me
back to his lips. I was impressed to say the least, my eyes changed with my
mood. When I was feeling normal, they were multicolored. Right now they
were one solid color, and not the prettiest color at that. Then I heard the
knock on the door it was soft at first. Nick pulled away and looked at the
door in confusion. I was left breathless, dazed, and highly confused. "Oh,
no that's Drew, if he sees us like this, it'll kill him." That was all I
needed to hear, so I grabbed my clothes and started putting them on. "Just
a sec Drew, got to get something real quick." I was fully dressed again and
walked toward the door. I opened the door and Drew looked a little shocked
to see me. "I just got here, I think he's in the shower, but I'm not sure."
Drew nodded slowly and walked in, I just hoped Nick was in his
room. "What's wrong with your eyes, they're yellow." I guess I was still a
little beyond horny, I just smiled. "My eyes change with my mood, they
never stay the same for long." He just nodded as we took seats on the
couch.

  Nick walked out to join us seconds later, he was dressed this time. "So I
guess we are adding someone to farewell party?" Drew said looking at me, he
wasn't really smiling. I guess I had intruded on a family thing. "No, I'm
sorry I just stopped by to tell Nick, then I was going to go to your
apartment. I wanted to tell you both that I'm leaving too, I'll be gone in
a week." Nick looked a little crushed, as did Drew, who had been a little
rude. "I'm sorry man, why don't you join us tonight." I looked at Drew and
smiled while I shook my head. "No, you two need to spend time together,
you're brothers, and most likely you'll both forget me within the week. It
was really nice meeting you both, and I will always cherish our time
together." I stood to leave but Nick grabbed my shoulder halting me. "Why
didn't you say something before?" I looked at him, right now he most likely
thought I was going to use him. "I was going to, but something came up. I
wish thing's could be different, but my life is hectic at best. I'm always
on the move, maybe we'll meet up again someday. It just wouldn't be fair,
Nick, I wish I had said that before. I let myself get a little out of
control. I'm sorry I'll leave you two now, I hope you have fun." I left as
quickly as I could, it hurt to tell him that. It took everything I had not
to cry, I didn't like leaving him like that.

  I was really starting to hate my life. I had thought about going into
acting ,but it just wasn't my field. I needed some lessons first and then I
would have to cover my past up. I found myself packing everything as
quickly as I could. I had already called a moving company. I was heading to
LA again, this time they promised that I would be there for a year. I was
looking forward to it, maybe then I could find someone. Someone was
knocking on my door pretty hard. I opened to see Nick standing there
waiting for me. He had tears falling from his eyes, it took me off
guard. "I told Drew how I felt about you, then I told him what happened. He
stormed off and told me that I knew that he was interested in you. That it
was the only reason I had gone after you, I told him it wasn't true. Then
he slammed the door telling me, I wasn't his brother anymore." I pulled him
into my arms, it had been three days since I had seen Nick. He sobbed and
held onto me tightly, I felt so guilty. "I'm so sorry Nick, this is all my
fault I shouldn't have gone after you." He sobbed harder and I decided that
I should tell him the whole truth. "I like you a lot Nick, but I don't
think it would work. I would even go as far to say I'm falling for you." He
looked up into my eyes and brought his lips to mine.

  This kiss meant so much more than the other. This kiss was one of love,
not lust. I could feel him willing me to love him, and I did. I did love
him, and I didn't even know when I had started. All I knew was that I loved
him and I always would. I also knew that we couldn't be not with our
lives. He was going to college and I was going to continue my career. I
pulled away slowly and looked into his eyes, I could see so much
pain. "Please don't go, not yet, we haven't had enough time." I couldn't
stay and neither could he our lives went down two different paths. "Nick, I
can't stay, I have to go, I'm under a contract." He looked away for a
second and then back to me. "Then I'll go with you, we can make this
work. I don't want to lose you now, I can't lose you now." I closed my eyes
saying yes would be so easy. I could be selfish, and he would never know, I
could rob him of a normal life. I knew that we could be happy, maybe even
be happy forever. I could keep him with me, we could see the world
together. As I looked into his eyes, I knew that I couldn't take that from
him. My career could be over in ten years or ten days. Then he would be
stuck with me where ever I was at that time. He wouldn't have anything to
fall back on, and that would be my fault.

  He would be giving up a huge chance in his life. I never thought that
school was all that important. It wasn't to me, and it never would be, but
to Nick. He could change the world with his brains, while I just made money
off my face. I didn't know what he was going to college to become nor did I
care. He could use this chance, he could change his life. He would have
something to fall back on, and he could live a happy normal life. "Nick,
you have to go to college, I couldn't forgive myself from taking that from
you. My life isn't the easiest to live, it's fun that's easy to see but not
easy. My career could end in ten years or ten days. If you went with me,
where would you be if that happened. You have a chance to do something I
could never do. I would love to do nothing more then stay with you. I would
love nothing more to take you with me. Our lives have just taken different
paths. I hope that they cross again, but that's life Nick." His eyes filled
with tears, but he didn't move away. It took everything I had to show no
emotion, I was starting to break. It was like he was searching my soul, and
in doing so. He was causing me to show my true feelings for him. I was
fighting it so hard, but he was winning. I thought of turning away, but my
feet wouldn't let me. I was frozen in my place looking into his eyes.

  His hand slowly moved to the side of my face. His touch was warm and
welcoming, in some ways pleading. I felt myself begin to weaken, to fall
apart in new ways. I let the tears fall, his lips then met mine. My eyes
closed tightly, when I opened them he was gone. I knew that it was for the
best, it just wouldn't have worked. I fell against the wall and sank to the
floor. I closed the door from my little spot on the ground. I cried
silently for a while, letting myself get lost in my own grief. I don't
remember how much time passed. I just pulled myself back together, then I
started packing. Once that was done I took a seat on the floor again and
wrote a note. I had to let Drew know that it wasn't Nick's fault that I had
come on to him. I took a cab to Drew's apartment and dropped the note
off. I then went back home and packed one last bag, once it was sealed I
went to bed. I was going to leave sooner than I had planned, I didn't want
to stay here any longer. There was no need to tempt fate, no need to put
myself in a place where I might stay. When I got up the next morning I
called the moving company. I got them to come a day sooner then I had
planned. Once all of my stuff was in their van I left for the air port. I
looked out the window on the plane. I tried not to look back, but it wasn't
that easy. I had wrote another note before leaving. I didn't know if Nick
would get it, I hoped that he did.

 To Be Continued