Date: Sat, 16 Sep 2000 18:07:34 EDT From: Storywrightr@aol.com Subject: Why 13-15 Why? Part 13 Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. It contains characters whom you may assume to be real-life people, but this is fantasy and in no way is to insinuate anything about any person, living or dead. "Was it just me or were we awesome tonight? I mean, it was like every little thing hit perfectly. And everyone's voice was perfect!" Especially Josh's. "Especially Justin's." Ah Josh, you're going to make me blush. Please say more! "No--especially you! And all of us . . . it was like all so perfect. Wish we had this one on tape." "God, I always feel pumped after a concert, but tonight--we gotta do something, guys--how about it?" "I'm in Joey--Lance?" "Sure, I'll come. Justin, you coming?" What's Josh going to say? I'd rather just go hang at the hotel with him. Perfect day on the river. Perfect show. I want a perfect night too. "Um, not sure. What are you doin' Josh?" Please--please--please-- please--something I can do with you--please! Be cool Justin--be cool. "Oh, um, I don't know. I'm pumped--but I'm also tired--maybe too much sun today or something." Please--please--please! "I may just go back to the hotel--maybe even go for a swim if I can get into the pool." Wait, wait, wait, wait. "Mind if I join you?" Please--please-- please--please. "Sure--though I don't know how good a company I'll be." Oh I know-- you'll be great. "Sure you aren't sick of me yet?" God no--never. "Oh, I can manage, I think." Stop looking at me like that Lance. "So I guess I'll head back to the hotel, too." "Well, have fun!" I hope. "Be careful, okay?" Lance, stop whispering--someone will think it's strange. "I'm okay. Really." And if I'm not, I don't even care--no matter how miserable I'll be tomorrow, I can't resist even a few minutes with him. Whatever I can have, I want. I'm one sick puppy! Why? Part 14 Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. It contains characters whom you may assume to be real-life people, but this is fantasy and in no way is to insinuate anything about any person, living or dead. "Justin, it says it's closed! You trying to get us in trouble? Or arrested? Can't believe you got past Lonny in the first place. He'd kill you if he knew you were down here! And kill me for going along with it." Don't you know I'd do anything to be with you? "Stop--it's okay. We aren't really breaking in or anything--we're guests here, remember? And hey, being celebrities should be good for something, shouldn't it? At least we don't tear up hotel rooms like all those rock stars used to do." "Well, let's be quiet anyway! . . . Nice pool!" "Want me to find the lights?" "NO! There's moonlight coming through the from the glass ceiling-- that's good enough." "So we gonna go skinny dipping?" "NO! Are you crazy? That's all we need--to get caught like that. And especially the two of us alone! Can you imagine the rumors that would start? Don't even think about it!" Oh, yeah . . . don't want any rumors like that out there. Smile Justin. Whatever . . . it's dark enough in here he can't see how I'm looking. "What? What's wrong? You think I'm just a boring person, don't you? That I wouldn't take my clothes off--take a chance?" "What? NO! No--what do you mean? I didn't say anything!" "You didn't have to--I saw that look on your face, like you were so disappointed in me. Cause I'm boring, right?" WHAT? "Josh, you are less boring than anyone I have ever met. Anyone." Oh God, Justin--could you be more obvious? You sound like some little girl about to cry. Christ, what a fool I am. Just jump in the water. "Jumstem--Jumstem--combla blap her." What's he saying? I can't understand him when I'm under the water. "Justin. What are you doing?" "Swimming--isn't that why we came down here?" "Yeah, but you just went running--you feelin' okay?" "Sure--just up from the concert still I guess--too pumped. Feelin' silly, you know?" "Yeah, I guess. You just seem . . . I don't know . . . different somehow. Sometimes it seems like you've changed so much--like you are a different person." What? "Sorry. I . . . I don't know . . . Am I really different?" God, what has he seen? "Just sometimes. I don't know--like you are someplace else--not like we used to be so tight. And sometimes you look at me and I think you must hate me or something. Did I do something to make you mad?" Where is he coming up with this stuff? He's gonna kill me! I can't listen to this. What do I say to him? "Is that it? Are you mad at me? Disappointed in me? Have I done something wrong?" God I can't stand this. "Where you going?" "I just gotta go--sorry!" I can't believe I just ran out of there. I'm such an idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. So I want to tell him, huh? Yeah right! Right! Why? Part 15 Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. It contains characters whom you may assume to be real-life people, but this is fantasy and in no way is to insinuate anything about any person, living or dead. I just want to die. Why am I such an idiot? And why did I lie down here all wet--now the bed's wet. What an idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot! Oh God NO! Josh I do NOT want to talk to you! Please just go away! Stop banging--you want to wake up the whole hotel? This is embarrassing enough as it is. "JUSTIN--open up!" Lance? It's Lance out there? "I'm not feelin' so good--what's up?" "Just open the door, Justin! I don't want to talk through the door." "Okay. Come on in, if you want to." Guess it doesn't matter that I wanna be alone--I don't matter. "What's going on?" "What do you mean?" "JC called me on my cell phone. He was worried about you. Said you were acting all strange. Said he didn't think you wanted to ever talk to him again. What did you do?" Yeah, it's me--couldn't be him. "Did you tell him? Is that it?" "NO! I didn't tell him! Okay? Layoff Lance. I'm sorry he called you and ruined your evening--but that's his bad, not mine. What are you here for?" "Don't you get it? He was worried about you--and so am I. You're losing it Justin. What are you doing? When are you just going to tell him or get on with your life or whatever?" "Oh, real sympathetic Lance--EXCUSE ME for messing up the happy vibe around here! Just leave me alone--kay? Can't everyone just leave me alone?" "Watch out what you ask for Justin, it could come true. Why don't you just talk to him? How could it be worse than this? You're miserable--you're making him miserable--and you aren't making the rest of us so happy either." Gee, thanks! "I'm sorry Justin . . . I'm trying to help--I really am. I want to be your friend. I'm really wanting this to work out for you. I don't even know what that means--as far as JC is concerned. I don't know if he'll be happy or sad or mad or confused or what when you tell him. You guys might become the happiest couple in the world--or you might ruin a friendship--though I doubt that--at least no more so than you already are. But the point is, just be done with it. At least then if he's mad at you or doesn't want to be around you, it'll be for a real reason--not because you are just annoying him with your craziness. Are you listening to me? Do you understand me?" Please just leave me alone. Why won't everyone just leave me alone. "I'm sorry--I just want to go to sleep for the rest of the year. Can't I just do that? Please Lance? Can't I just go to sleep? Maybe forever?" Good Justin--start crying. What a baby. "Justin . . . no, you can't just go to sleep . . . and you sure can't go to sleep forever. You'll make it through this--you really will. And I'm gonna be here for you. And Chris and Joey--even if they don't know what it's about; they're your friends and they love you. And you know you have Brit you can call anytime. And I really think you have JC--even if he doesn't want your relationship to change into something else, I know he doesn't want to lose what you had. Even if he needs time to understand it all--you're his best friend." "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a pain. I'm sorry I'm messin' everything up so bad." "Oh Justin, stop--you aren't a pain. Well, sometimes . . . I'M KIDDING! But come on--clean yourself up. You have someone to go talk to." "TONIGHT?" "Yes, tonight." Oh, God--please help me!