Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2004 15:48:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: BR
Subject: Colin's Irish Spring (Part I)

Disclaimer: This is a fantasy story about a sexual encounter between two
consenting adults. One of them is Colin Farrell. No knows about his sexual
orientation. This is pure fiction. If you're under 18, go watch "Spongebob
Squarepants." If you are over 18, read and whack away.

"Shit!" I cursed my alarm clock for making me oversleep. It was a piece of
shit anyway. I think it was there when Dick Clark was born. I was late for
my sit down interview with Colin Farrell to discuss his upcoming movie, "A
Home at the End of the World." It was at 9 a.m. I sped at warp speed
showering, eating, brushing and rushing out the door with my tape recorder
in my hands.

Colin's agent called me a few days prior that said that he was only in
L.A. for a few days because he was in the middle of filming in Africa and
here for the junket for the movie. She told me to meet him at a local cafe
near the hotel that he was staying at.

I arrived at the cafe at about 9:20. I looked around and no Colin in
sight. No surprise. He's probably going to have a huge hangover from
drinking and partying last night. He's gonna be incoherent. I'm dreading
this encounter.

After waiting what seems like an eternity, which in real time was ten
minutes, the door opened. A familiar person walked in with a faded knit cap
on, a pair of sunglasses, a ratty gray t-shirt that enhanced his sinewy
muscles and his tight blue jeans that showed every part of him, the good
parts. I needed to calm myself down before I cream in my pants.

The man took off his sunglasses, and I immediately recognized Colin was his
dark eyes looking right through me as he walked up to the table.  I looked
at his scruffy face. It didn't look like that he woke up in his own vomit
with a beer bottle in hand and greasy tit in the other. He looked pretty
sober. Good sign.

I extended my hand, "Hello, Mr. Farrell, I'm Bryan Ashmore from ROX
magazine. It's nice to meet you."

He clasped his hand on mine. "Enough the pleasantries. I hate that shite,"
he uttered in that sexy raspy Irish brogue tone in his voice.

"Okay," I recoiled as I settled back into my seat. " You want anything to
drink?"

"Nah. I'm fine." He pulled out a pack of Camel cigarettes and a lighter
from his back pocket. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

" I don't think you could smoke in here."

"Fuck 'em."

"Okay. Let's get started," I turned the tape recorder on. "Okay, Colin,
tell me about your new movie. What 's the story about?"

He sat back in his seat, puffing away at his cigarette. He was explaining
to me the basic synopsis of the movie. I don't think he was there. A shell
of him was giving a stock response that he's given to dozens of
reporters. After he was done, he gazed out of the window. I needed to find
a way to bring him back.

"I saw you in that movie, 'Intermission', back in March. That was a great
movie. You were excellent in it."

It seemed to work. He chuckled and mumbled, "Thanks." Buttering him
up. Good.

"Now in "Home", there was a bit of controversy about a full frontal nude
scene of yours. Test audiences said that it was 'too distracting.' Do you
believe that?"

He sat up in his chair. "It's a dick for Christ sakes. Who cares? Every guy
has one. What's the fucking big deal?"

"I saw your interview on 'Extra' about the infamous nude scene and how you
think the scene was really cut. You said that it wasn't the integrity of
Michael Cunningham's book and will not be on the DVD. Do you really believe
that?"

"Fuck, no."

"Ewan McGregor does full frontal all the time. When he did it in "Young
Adam", they slap it was an 'NC-17' rating. Do you think that more men
should be naked in films?"

"Sure. Why not? Women have been this shite for years. Have the guys drop
trou, too."

I did kind of a bold move on my part, but the readers wanted to know and so
did I. "The test audiences were shocked by the size of your penis. Is it
something shocking?" I did want to know what made him such a ladies'
man. The thought of him and his legendary penis made me hard in my pants.

 "Wouldn't you like to know?" He raised a mischievous eyebrow. With his
free hand, he reached down and adjusted his crotch. I almost died.

I cleared my throat and tried to remain professional. "In this movie, you
have played a bisexual and in your upcoming movie, "Alexander," you played
the famous Macedonian conquer that demonstrated countless nations. Then,
there's a relationship with the friend, Hephaestion, played by Jared
Leto. Have you noticed a trend here?"

"It's just a coincidence." A part me shriveled up a little bit by that last
statement.

"Were there any love scenes in "Home" or "Alexander'?"

"I can't tell you that or I have to kill you." When he said that I got the
impression that he was joking, but I couldn't tell.

"Everybody is talking Oscar for you in 'Alexander', how do you feel about
that?"

"I don't get into that shite, you know. Whatever happens happens. If I get
nominated, great, if I don't, that's fine. I make movies. That's all."

"What are you working on now?"

"I'm doing 'Ask the Dust' in South Africa."

"Who are you co-starring with?"

"Salma Hayek."

"That's great."

"Don't you hate the insinuations about romances with your co-stars, like
Rosario, Bridget or Angelina?

"They can say whatever the fuck they want. I don't care. They only people
knowing what I do is me and the woman I'm fucking."

"You have this reputation of being a bad boy. The partying, smoking,
drinking, lots of sex. Do you think that the media takes it too far?

"Look, I know I'm not the typical Hollywood actor. If you come to my face,
I'll kick the piss outta ya. I'm not going pussy out.  I don't give a
fuck. It's me. I've toned it down when I became a father I only do it
occasionally."

"That's right. You're a father to James, by model Kim Brodonave. How old is
he now?"

"About ten months." A smile formed on his face. His teeth were good
considering he was a chain smoker.

"How has fatherhood changed your life?"

"Being a father is the best thing. I love my son. I want to be good
father. I don't want to fuck him up. You know."

I nodded even though I didn't have children of my own. "I heard there's a
little trouble between you and Kim about custody of little James."

He started to fiddle with his earring. I was sorry that I asked the
question. I heard a cell phone ring. We both reached for ours. "It's mine,"
Colin said. He talked on the phone in whispers and then he hung up.

"Sorry, man. I have to talk to some more assholes about the movie. What are
you doing later?"

"Nothing really. Why?"

"I'll have my agent call you. Okay. To finish the interview." He arched one
of his bushy eyebrows at me. Hmm, he was planning something.

"Okay. That's cool."

He reached out with his hand and took out his cigarette in the other. I
shook his hand and I had a feeling. I don't know what it was, but something
in his eyes made my heart race.

"That's fine. It's been nice talking to you."

"Later," he said in a passive voice.

I knew he wouldn't be calling, leaving my high and dry with only high of my
story. My editor will kill me that I fucked up another story again like I
did with Will Smith for "I, Robot." I was interviewing him at the golf
course about the robots, 'Big Willie Weekend' and his raunchy and then the
next thing I know I'm giving him a blowjob in the supply closet. Shit.

His agent called me later that evening at said that Colin would be at his
hotel room for the remainder of the evening. I could finish my interview
with him. Good. When I got to his room door, there were no big, burly
bodyguards blocking the door. I knocked on the door. No answer. Shit, he's
not here. I knocked again. A few seconds later, the door unlocked and Colin
appeared piss drunk with a cigarette hanging from his lips and Amstel Light
in his hand.

The place smelled like sex. He had mind-numbing rock music blasting in the
background.

He had his shirt and shoes off. He looked very tan and toned. He was lean,
but not muscular. I liked that.  A nice black patch of hair in the middle
of his chest traveled down his treasure trail to the stiffness of his
jeans.

"I had this bitch in here and she couldn't get me off."

"That's a shame. Blue balls are the worst." I can sympathize. I haven't
gotten laid in about two months.

"I need to come before I explode."

"What are you saying?"

"I saw you looking at my dick during the interview."

My face was flushed. I was so embarrassed that he caught me checking out
his package. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to." I was waiting for
him to beat the shit outta me.

"You wanna see it?"

"What?" I was dumbstruck. This symbol of machismo, this lothario, this
master of the pussy wanted me to see his dick. "I guess." I tried to act
coy, but secretly I wanted to see what the fuss was about.

He put out his cigarette on the wall behind him and dropped his Amstel
Light on the ground and proceeded to show me what he got hidden in his
pants.

When he was stumbling to unbuckle his belt, I was thinking about what was
going to be uncovered. It was like discovering the Holy Grail, but I'm
going where no man and thousands of women have gone before. He unbuckled
his pants and unzipped his fly and let his jeans fall to his ankles. He
wasn't wearing any underwear. My mouth fell open. I looked at this flaccid,
five-inch uncut dick presented in front of me. I was literally salivating
like a rabid dog after a bone and I wanted this bone, bad.

"No wonder you are such a ladies' man. I mean, look at that dick. It's
huge."

"I know. They all want a piece of this and you can have some, too."

"Oh, I will."

I got down on my knees. My pulse raced that I was going to blow Colin here
in his hotel room in a few seconds.

I pushed back the foreskin, showing off his pulsating mushroom head. It was
purple. I licked him on the sensitive head. I followed my tongue along the
edge of the head. He shuddered. I knew I had him in my grasp.

The smell of his raw musk drived my senses wild. I tasted the saltiness of
his piss slit . It turned me on. I sucked on him like a Hoover
vacuum. "Yeah, suck it. You fucking bitch."

He began to get hard in my mouth. I began stroking his cock as I bobbed up
and down ingesting as much as this delicious meal as I can. I pulled away
to admire the magnificent instrument I paid attention to. My eyes bulged
out with the meat that he was packing. Colin stood in front of me with
mind-boggling nine inches starting me in the face.  His dick was very dark
and veiny. His dickhead was oozing pre-cum.

I got hard in my pants. I returned to giving him the pleasure that he
deserved. My target was the pre-cum drooling out of his dick. I stuck out
my tongue and loped up with slick serum. My taste buds perked up with his
lubrication.

I looked up at him when I was giving his hard, aching dick special
attention; I saw the pleasure in his eyes. Changing my momentum, I
incorporated my free hand kneading and rolling his balls as I continued
suction on his cock.

"Oh, fuck, yeah." He placed his hands on the back of my head. Oh,
yeah. That's what I wanted, the satisfaction that I am pleasing him in the
right spots. He growled as I pumped.

I sucked him with fervor. I messily slurped as he tried to jam his entire
shaft down my gullet. Oh, I almost passed out, but I was loving every
minute of it. Giving this gorgeous man the best suck job of his life. I
wanted to make him remember it. I want it to be permanently engrained in
his mind when another bitch is giving him head that nothing compared to
what I was giving to him right now. I upped my game on my technique; I
changed my jacking up and down motion to the implosive corkscrew
action. The saliva dripped and dribbled out of my mouth and down his shaft
to settle on the palm of my hand kneading his balls.

He pulled his slick dick out of my mouth and teased me by slapping his
massive piece of meat on my lips and tongue. I played along, begging and
craving for him to put his dick back into my mouth.

I was giving him great suction action. I felt his balls constrict in my
hand. I stopped my work on his magnificent organ and stood up on my
knees. I look intently into his eyes. The lust, the longing I wanted to
fuck me right there,

"I want you inside me."

"Oh, yeah."

"Fuck yeah. I want you to rip me open with your monster. I want you to fuck
me silly. Fuck me so I can't remember my name afterwards. Just fuck me."

"You want it that bad, huh?"

"I want it now. "

"Get ready for this, bitch." And he grabbed his impressive member making
the head turn a deep blood red.

I was getting ready for the best I will have in my life when-- "Wait a
minute. I forgot something."

"What?"

I pulled out of condom from the pack on the night table and return to the
twitching organ in front of me. "This." I went back down on my knees. I
ripped open the package and pulled out the magnum-sized condom.

"What are you doing?"

"A little trick I learned from an Italian friend of mine." I placed the tip
of it between my lips. I took Colin's waiting cock in my hand and placed my
mouth on his head. Slowly with finesse, I slowly slid my mouth around his
cock and when I couldn't take anymore, I let my hand wiggle the rest of the
condom on to his bush.

I felt the heat on his body mixing with mine. It was real turn-on. My mind
was reeling, being pinned up against the wall. In one quick motion, he
depantsed me with his other hand. Wow! That impressed me.

"Spread it open." I took my ass checks wide and parted them in incorporate
his meat pole. I felt the head of his dick hovering near my
asshole. "Wider, bitch."

"Yes, sir." I obliged his request. I really spread myself to expose my pink
pucker to him.

I heard him spit on his wrapped cock. "Are you ready for me?"

"Yes. Stick it in." I braced the wall so that my legs won't give way when
he shoved it in.

The head of his cock entered me with little pain. Then, he slowly began to
slide more and more of his cock in me. I winced at his girth. He was
halfway in.

"Are you ready for it all?"

But before I could answer, he impaled me with the rest of his cock, and I
almost passed out from the pain. I tried to scream, but nothing came out.

"You are the first bitch in a long time that can take all of my dick."

I arched my arch to place my ass on his thick bush. He went to a slow fuck
making my ass get used to his club invading my insides. I loved it. I
beckoned for more. Like he could read my mind, he began to fuck me
harder. I felt light-headed when he deep dicked me. I grunted after every
thrust. I swear, the neighbors must being to have this.

I felt his hot breath as he nibbled on my ear. He mumbled something in that
raspy Irish voice of his. I didn't understand what he was saying, but who
cares. I have Colin Farrell inside me, filling my ass with all of his
nine-inch cock.

"I wanna ride you." I said hoarsely, out of breath.

"Come on," He slowly pulled his cock out with a loud pop. He waddled
backwards to one of the chairs and sat down, I turned around and took in
the image of this beautiful human specimen with his impressive boner
pointing at me, beckoning me to sit on it. I walked over to Colin as he
continued to stroke himself, and slathered his dick with his spit. He held
on the base of his shaft for my eager hole. I climbed up on the arms of the
chair and slowly directed my hole on the target, Colin waiting cock.

When he re-entered me, a shock of pain coursed through my veins. It burned,
but I didn't care. I wanted ride this stallion. So, I took my meat
injection like a man. I grunted and groaned as Colin thrust his hips
up. The slaps of our skin became louder and louder as he fucked me with a
purpose. He pummeled me like him in that drunken bar brawl in Paris.

I yelped from the excruciating pain. "Yeah, fuck yeah. Ride it, fucker."
Colin growled in my ear when I tried not to pass out. I can't stop this man
from tickling my prostate. I bit into his neck, and then he grabbed my hips
and forced all his cock into my insides. I got really revved up for more.

I grind myself on his lap, making my hole envelop all of his girth. I
bounced up and down while he banged me like a jackhammer. His breath became
hallow. Then, he slapped me on the ass and that drove me buck wild like a
cowboy on a bucking bronco.

"I guess those horseback riding lessons paid off, huh?"

"Shit, yeah." Talking about "American Outlaws" is not best time when he is
fucking me like a machine.

He picked me up. I didn't know he was so strong. He fell on top of me on
the king-sized bed. He pumped into me, harder and harder. My asshole was on
fire. I looked into his eyes. They were glazed over, but he was intent of
getting off. The sweat from his brow fell onto my cheek. His
cigarette-laced breath blew in my face, and then his breaths were more deep
and rapid. He trusted his cock all the way inside me and pulled it out and
shoved it back in again. He started to build momentum when he grunted, "Oh,
fuck, man. I gonna cum."

"Yeah? I want you to cum on my face. Cum all over my fucking face."

"You want it? You want the 'Irish Spring?'"

I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about, but I went all along with
it. I just hope he's not gonna piss on me.  "I want it all. Every last
drop. Come on. Shoot it out. Fuck, yeah."

He pulled himself out of me and ripped the condom off. He climbed on the
bed and sit on my chest. He began to jack off. After a few moments, he
screamed and volley and volley of his precious seed rocketed out of his
piss slit. He bathed my face with his spunk. After his last shot, he shook
his dick for the last drop of his precious cargo. I wanted to savor this
moment. I rubbed his jizz over my face like a moisturizer. I took some it
on put on my lips. I wanted to taste him, the essence of him. He tasted
good and warm.

"You like it?" He mouthed in barely audible breath, recovering his breath.

"Oh, yeah. " I savored my meal.

Colin got up from me and looked at my beat red dick. Then, he looked back
at me.

"Let me blow you." I did a double take. Before I could say anything, he
placed his warm mouth on my arching cock. He began sucking me like pro. Him
being a ladies' man was a crock on shit. He knew what could send a man over
the edge. It didn't take that long for me to warn Colin that I want about
to explode.

"Fuck yeah. Give me all your cum."

"Here it comes," I said breathlessly.

When I came, I saw the sun, the moon, the stars, rainbow, everything. I was
on a high. I never wanted it to end. I wanted it to go on forever. Colin
jacked me off until my dick hurt from the sheer velocity oif shoits that
landed all over the bedsheets.

"Shit. That was great." Colin said climbing in the cum-soaked sheets.

"More than I imagined. I thought we were finishing the interview, but this
was way better and less tedious."

We laughed as our sweaty bodies climbed into the bed. I basked in the
afterglow of having the greatest time of my life. I tried to get up, but I
was stuck to the sheets.

"I wonder if housekeeping can get cum off the sheets?"

"They've cleaned up a lot worse when I come out of the hotel room."

We laughed. I nuzzled up to him, spooning him. Our stickiness
interviewed. I wanted to be there even longer.

"I don't kiss." He said matter-of-factly.

"Good. Kissing you would be like kissing an ashtray." We both laughed. He
gave me a playful slap on the head.

We sat there for a few moments in silence.

"Can you stay in bed?"

He couldn't. He had a plane to catch. He got up from the bed and ran naked
in the bathroom. I wanted to have that image of Colin Farrell running into
the bathroom ingrained in my memory forever. A few minutes later, he
returned to the bed and put his clothes back on. My heart ached.  I wanted
him to leave naked. I wanted to whole world to worship his magnificent
manhood. It ached for this man.

"Hey, I'll call you the next time I blow into town."

He left his number and his room key so I can clean up. Shit. I wanted
another go around; because that was the greatest fuck I ever had in my
life.

TO BE CONTINUED...