Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 23:39:41 +0000
From: Dean Lidster <dean@meta4.org>
Subject: Dean-And-Hanson/Better-Than-A-Dream-3 [t/t]

                                  B E T T E R   T H A N   A   D R E A M
                                                        by Dean Lidster
                                                         dean@meta4.org
=======================================================================

                              PART THREE
DISCLAIMER
~~~~~~~~~~

This story contains sexual acts between boys. If this is not to your
tastes, then why in God's name are you reading this in the first place,
huh? If you're curious, then that's fine by me - just remember: an open
mind and an open heart is the secret to a good and happy life. If you
are UNDER the age of concent for state / geographical location / planet
that you're in / on etc, please leave now (unless you want to be
educated and have an open mind that is!)

I spose this story is copyrighted. By this, I mean that I wrote it and
would not particularly want anyone to subtly alter it and pretend it
is their own. However, you MAY post it to any newsgroups, archives
etc, print it, give it to friends without my prior permission PROVIDED
THAT I STAY ACCREDITED AS THE AUTHOR AND YOU DO NOT CHARGE FOR DOING
SO. Easy :-)

The story, when it concerns the relationship between myself and Lee, is
very nearly true-to-life, however everything else took place in my mind
only (unfortunately!)

If you like this story, mail me at dean@meta4.org. If you don't
like it, mail me anyway and tell me why!

Meta4 is still in bits at the mo, so don't expect to see too much if you
visit the site. I know it's been a while since the last part of this story
(like about three and a half years) but there ya go :-) I tripped over
the files and decided they'd be better posted than sat on CD.

Cheers,
Dean




               Dedicated to Lee - I will love you forever.



  Author's note: This story is part five of an ongoing work
entitled "Midlands of Nowhere" - it is strongly recommended that
you read these parts before reading this!
  The order is as follows:

  "A Date with Taylor"
  "Touring with Hanson"
  "Zac and Mac"
  "The Exchange"
  "Better than a Dream"






                      Chapter Three - Salvation


As Lee recounted these events to me, his face had a strange glazed look to it.
It was as if he simply couldn't believe what he was telling me but it was all
too apparant from the emotion in his voice that he had been through it all.

He suddenly looked at me and put on a brave smile. "Sorry," he sniffed. "You
don't even know me and an' I'm telling you all this shit..."

Carefully, I put my arm round Lee's broad shoulders and gently squeezed him to
me. All the time, my mind was torn between the lust I had for him and the
compassion I felt for him: How anyone could be subjected to such horrors - never
mind someone as handsome as Lee - was incomprehensible to me in my sheltered
little life. I needed to hear more if only to allow Lee to get it off his chest.
Actually, I suppose I was honoured that in thirty minutes he felt he could trust
me with the finest nitty-gritty of his darkest past.

I suddenly realised Lee was hugging me back, and I felt all warm and glowy
inside - he trusted me.

"Go on," I whispered. "If you want to, that is..."

He smiled at me in that wonderful way, but this time it had an air of gratitude
about it, as if being able to ramble to a stranger was the unknown thing he had
been searching for for a long time.

After a few moments of slumping against the wall, Lee hauled himself upright and
back onto his shaky feet. He looked up and down the road for any sign of his
persuing father, but found none. Over the road, the kids were still staring at
him and sniggering amongst themselves. Ordinarily, this would have made him feel
even more self-conscious but now, with the stage a whole lot broader than it had
ever been previously, they were inconsequential. Gradually coming back to
coherent thought, he looked around again, this time noticing a bus stop a few
metres up the road.

He walked up to it and consulted the assorted splodges of faded pink that marked
the roads. Almost in disbelief, he shook his head as he realised he'd run nearly
three quarters of a mile from his house. As he stared at the map, he began to
realise where he was. Although he didn't recognise that particular street, he
wasn't a vast distance from the library - one of his favourite haunts whenever
things at home got a little too turbulent for his liking.

Making up his mind, he set off towards the library - at least they had comfy
seats there...

Walking through the thigh-height turntable, he cordially smiled at the librarian
who returned the gesture, then made his way over to the historical records
section. Tracing his finger along the tatty, uneven spines of the books, he came
to rest on a fairly large, leather bound volume entitled "Witches, their craft
and folklore" and carefully pulled it from the shelf.

This book wasn't exactly light reading for Lee (or for anyone, for that matter),
especially as his dyslexia made the small text seem even more strange and
bizarre than the concepts it was trying to convey, but the subject intrigued him
so that he was determined to go at whatever pace it took to allow him to achieve
a reasonable level of understanding.

He took the book and found his favourite seat at a small table concieled behind
one of the bookshelves, switched on the reading lamp and flicked to a random
page. But it was futile - every illustration and every word he read somehow
managed to force his mind to what had just happened. He remembered the now lost
picture of his mother and her smile, and he began to cry.

A couple of hours later, the librarian was doing her rounds, switching off the
reading lights and replacing some books before she called it a night when she
found Lee, fast asleep over his book. His brow was furrowed and his eyes darting
around under their lids as he dreamed an obviously none too appealing dream.

"Lee," she said, gently placing her hand on his shoulder to wake him.

"NO!" he yelled, suddenly leaping up from his seat and knocking her hand away
making her scream with fright. As he began to wake up properly, he shook the
dream from his head and realised where he was. "Uh, Miss. Higgot, I'm sorry," he
apologised, wiping his eyes.

"It's OK, Lee, you just gave me quite a start!" she smiled from behind her
half-moon spectacles. "Bad dream?"

"I hope so,"

"I'm afraid I've got to turn you out - closing time..."

"What time is it?"

"Nearly half-nine,"

"Oh, sorry,"

"Don't you worry, love - it's nice to see someone as young as you take an
interest in reading. Restores my faith in your generation."

Lee smiled weakly and began walking towards the exit.

"Are you alright?" she asked after him.

Lee so desperately wanted to say no, to tell her what had happened and for her
to make everything better again, but it wasn't to be.

"I'm fine. See you tomorrow,"

"OK - night, love,"

Lee stepped out into the cool night air, the sun very low on the horizon causing
exceedingly long shadows to be cast along the street. Only a few cars were on
the roads now, but the ever present white noise of traffic was still there. He
slowly walked along the pavement, aimlessly kicking a coke can infront of him
until it escaped into the gutter and it seemed too much like hard work to
retrieve it.

He walked on, oblivious to the gangs of youths talking and shouting as they
mooched around bus shelters and on garden walls that usually scared him
slightly. The stereotypical boy-racer car waffled its way past him, bass cannons
practically shattering the windows as they pounded out some repetitive, mindless
sound. It would normally have provoked a longing glance from Lee, but again the
experience just washed over him as if it had never happened.

He rounded a corner into his street and decided to cross the road so he was on
the opposite side to his house, not wanting to get too close straight away. As
he approached, he noticed his father's bashed-up, dyssentry-brown Sierra
"parked" with one wheel on the kerb outside. As he got closer still, the all too
familiar sounds of a raging argument from inside began to reach his ears. To
Lee, it seemed as if the entire house oozed with anger and hatred, never a good
word being said about anyone or anything.

There was no way he could go back there that night, so he simply carried on
walking.

A half-hour later found Lee in the little park the council had tried to set up,
sitting against a tree that had bits of paper, broken glass and the odd used
condom lying around. As he sat there, staring at the last few rays of sunshine
that shot out from the silhouette of the houses in the distance, he began to
feel like his surroundings - dirty, unkempt and abused.

The evening's events had done more than tire him out - he was completely
expired. Dispite the less-than-comfortable surroundings he was in, he fell into
a deep sleep.

He woke up shivering around half five the following morning, the sun having
returned from it's brief disppearance overnight. For an instant, he couldn't
think why on earth he'd slept outside but all too soon the reality came crashing
home, causing him to burst into fits of tears so vicious he thought he was going
to suffocate. He gradually managed to regain his composure, wiping the tears
from his red eyes. He wasn't going to bother going home - he'd just go to school
as if nothing was wrong and play the day as it came.

"Are you sure you ain't bored to fuck listenin' to all this shit?"

Lee suddenly asking me a direct question again almost made me jump.

"No... Go on..."

"Well, I spose what happened was that when I went home again that night, there
were nobody in the house. Car had gone, dogs had gone... Lot of the furniture
and shit were still there but all the easily-shiftable things weren't."

"They'd just left?"

"Yeah."

"What did you do?" I asked, even more horrified than I was a few moments earlier
- something I didn't think was possible.

"Well, I crashed in me room, kinda expecting them to come home but they never
did. I didn't have any money left, so I told me head of year at school. He told
me to stop spouting crap and walked off."

"He did WHAT?"

"You don't know the kinda school I went to. Teachers couldn't really give a
monkey's about the kids as long as they got paid. S'pose they got stung by
having any concern they gave about a kid shoved back in their face with some
smart-arse comment. They just didn't think it were worth it.

"I just went an' told the headmistress. For some reason she did listen to me an'
called the social. They was fairly nice to me and shit and started lookin' for
me old man. Got me a place in one of the kids' homes in the mean time."

"What was it like?"

"It were great for the first month or so - the others there had been in similar
situations to me but it were very competitive - everyone trying to get one over
on the others. Thing was, I'd been fuckin' dumb and admitted I were gay to the
social worker on me case. One evening one of the kids was dared to go into the
office in the home an' when he were in there he managed to find me file and that
I were gay. Soon as that happened I had the crap kicked outa me whenever I
weren't with a grown-up. They knew it were happenin' but they didn't seem like
they were doin a fuck of a lot about it. Even when there WERE an adult around,
they'd always be doin' shit like 'Backs to the wall, lads!' and 'Don's stop to
tie yer shoelace when he's around'... Of course everyone at school found out too
an' it went down hill from there."

"And the staff at the school didn't do anything about it?"

"Weren't their problem as far as they were concerned..."

"So... What happened?"

"I were stuck there for about a year. For one reason or another the ribbin' I
were gettin' eased off for a bit, but it came back twice as hard. Ended up in
fights with practically everyone and eventually had me arm broken by this fat
bastard in the year above me who's dad 'thinks queers are a waste of skin'. Then
Roz and Eddie found me and for one reason or the other decided to adopt me.
Dunno why they decided I were worth lovin'. Never asked 'em neither. I reckon if
I do the dream'll end - they've been better parents to me than my dad ever was."

"You lads OK up there?" came Eddie's voice echoing up through the empty house.

"Ye... Yeah, Dad, we're fine," called Lee, his voice cracking slightly as he
simultaneously tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

Lee drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly causing me to feel weak all over as I
felt his body flexing next to mine. I was still chastising myself for lusting
over him when he seemed so vunerable, but he was just SO hot...

"You gonna give me a hand with all this shit then?" he said, turning to me, his
eyes beaming out from behind his fringe.

"Sure,"

Over the next hour, Lee and I progressively cluttered the previously bare room
with the kind of junk any ordinary fourteen-year-old should own - clothes,
stereo, stacks of CDs, computer, radio-control car, supersoaker, Hanson poster,
beer ma...

"Hanson poster?"

Lee stopped rummaging around in a box to see me holding open a huge poster of
the three guys I'd been fantasising over whilst on the Eurostar and smiled
sheepishly, his pale skin turning to an endearing light shade of crimson.

"Yeah..." He paused for a moment. "Don't you... Don't..."

"...I think Taylor is one of the sexiest guys to walk the face of the Earth?"
Lee smiled so broadly I thought his ears were going to file for a restraining
order on his lips. "I was actually gonna say 'Don't you think he's a very
talented musician?'."

"Uh huh,"

"I was! But your suggestion's valid too."

I put down the Hanson poster and unravelled the next one in the box - one of the
Back Street Boys.

"Nick Carter?"

"Nick Carter."

"Anyone ever told you that you look quite a bit like him?"

Lee defaulted to 'shy mode' again and looked at the floor, but this time I could
see the smile still glued to his face.

"If anything, you look better. Nick's face seems slightly out of proportion..."

"You're embarassing me," grinned Lee, looking up enough to make eye contact, but
this time maintaining it.

"I'm simply stating my objective opinion. That it is embarassing you is a side
effect." I smiled back.

"Do you want something to drink? Sorry, I didn't think..."

"Don't worry about it, but yeah, I'd love one, please."

"OK... Dean?"

"Mmm?"

"Thanks,"

"What for?"

"Being a friend... Never really had one before."

"Well, there's a first time for everything,"

"Absolutely," He smiled. Initially I took that single word response at face
value, but within an instant my mind had read far more into it that Lee had
obviously intended.

Or had I? The mischevous grin on Lee's face made me think again.

"RACE YOU TO THE KITCHEN!" he suddenly yelled, legging it past me.

I leapt after him and managed to sandwich myself between him and the doorpost as
we both tried to get through side by side. Grinning inanely, we fought and
jostled to get out, us both "popping" out onto the landing and heading for the
stairs still side by side. We clattered down them at full tilt and rounded the
corner at the bottom. I had the dual disadvantages of wearing just my socks and
having the outside line on the corner. This combined with the parquet flooring
caused me to drop back as Lee's soles found grip. Just a couple of feet down the
front hall he too stopped though and turned just as I ran straight into him,
causing us to collapse in a heap on the floor.

"One slight problem," panted Lee.

"Oh? What's that?"

"Fuck knows where the kitchen is!"

"That's a quid, Lee" said Roz, poking her head from round the door at the far
end of the hall.

"Sorry, Mum,"

"And I'm in the kitchen," she added.

"A pound?"

"I'm tryin' to cut down on me swearin'. Roz and Eddie swear themselves, but it
usually has a reason behind it, so I get fined when I swear for 'dramatic
effect',"

"Ahh..."

All this time the close proximity of Lee was making my senses do loop-the-loops:
I felt like I was buzzing all over. Lee began to pick himself up from beside me
and offered me his hand to pull me up. As we touched, it was as if I could feel
the same buzz in Lee as was in me, a mutual understanding and elation that
neither of us had experienced before. This was confirmed by the fact that the
handhold didn't break as I stood: Instead it served to provide a physical
metaphor for the new feeling that neither of us wanted to let go of.

"You boys want a drink?" asked Roz, breaking us from our trance. We didn't
release hands quickly in the 'this ain't right' kind of way, more a reluctance
to do so on both sides. We both smiled at each other and simultaneously answered

"Please,"

Lee looked slightly confused for a second, then shrugged and walked into the
kitchen, me following.

"Lee, I hope you've said 'Thankyou' to Dean for helping you," said Mrs. Clarke
in that unmistakable 'I'm your Mother and there's absolutely sod-all you can do
about it' tone of voice that any teenager will know all too well.

"Thankyou, Dean," said Lee in a forced, primary school tone. He was promptly hit
round the head with a tea towel.

"Tea, Coffee?" she offered as an electric kettle was retrieved from a box.

"Uh, tea, white, one sugar please,"

"Tea as well, please Mum,"

"Oh, I think we're out of milk..."

"Do we have any Mountain Dew?"

"Yeah, I think so - check that box over there,"

"You like Mountain Dew too?" I asked, astonished that someone other than me
could drink a liquid that looked as if it had originated in the Selafield
nuclear fuel reprocessing plant.

"Uh huh - less bitter than coffee with more caffeine," Lee smiled.

"I don't know how you can drink that stuff - just imagine what it's doing to
your insides!"

"I think it must be a gay thing," hypothisised Lee.

I could physically here Roz stop breathing, anticipating the explosion from me.

"Mmm," I just replied, taking a glass and wiping it over with the tea towel that
was still on Lee's head.

Lee turned and saw the look on his mum's face.

"S'OK, Mum, Dean's gay too,"

"He is? I mean you are?"

I nodded 'yes'.

I didn't know if she was going to laugh or cry for a moment, but whatever it was
she chose I didn't have time to see  as she was too busy hugging me.

"Hey ease off, mum - don't scare him away!" Lee smiled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Dean," she said, taking a step back and wiping a tear from her
eye. "It's just that we've all been through a fairly rough patch - Lee
especially - and people just seem to be so hostile..."

Her emotions seemed to be robbing her of the power of speech, so she gave up and
hugged me again.

"Mum! Would you please put the guest down? I'll pay you money..."

Roz let go of me and just smiled at me. "It's OK - I'll do it this time," and
with that, I hit Lee over the head with the tea towel again.

We spent another half hour or so just chatting and getting to know each other,
Eddie joining in after getting fed up with shifting boxes out of the garage
where the removal men had dumped them all. Turned out that Eddie was a corporate
lawyer and Roz an ex-care worker turned Eddie's secretary. In return, I
explained where we lived and that my dad ran a small computer company and my mum
worked in the managing end of a warehousing company, but was soon to quit and
work for my dad as the business seemed to be in a stage of fairly rapid growth.

I suddenly noticed the time and realised that my parents were probably worrying
about me by now, so I made my excuses and said I had to leave, but vowed to be
back the following day. I also explained where we lived incase they needed
anything urgently and made my way to the door, Lee in hot persuit.
I said goodbye to Roz and Eddie as I pulled on my rollerblades and then to Lee,
him smiling back at me, however I sensed a strange kind of anguish in his face.

"I'll be over first thing tomorrow, I promise," I said. That seemed to reassure
him.

As I picked my way over the shale driveway in my rollerblades (probably looking
like one of those early 1900's films you see of polar explorers with their
stupidly large snow-shoes on) I turned and looked back at their house. Lee was
still standing at the front door, and he waved vigorously the moment I turned
round. I could do nothing but grin inanely and wave back in a similarly
over-enthusiastic manner.

"I'm back," I yelled as I stumbled in through the back door at home.

"OK, Nit," came the reply from my dad. Nothing so simple from my mum, though.

"Are you OK Dean? You were gone an awfully long time..."

I explained that I'd met our new neighbours and that they were an extremely
friendly bunch of people, and that I was going back over there tomorrow morning
to carry on helping them unpack. My mum decided she and my dad would have to go
over too to introduce themselves and present the standard housewarming gift of a
large tub of our honey and invite them over for dinner so that they could get to
know one another.

To be honest, I didn't really care as long as it didn't interfere with time that
I could be spending with that gorgeous blonde hunk of theirs and, on that
thought, pranced merrily up to my bedroom.

A couple of hours later, I was watching the Discovery channel with my dad (one
of his favourite passtimes) when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," I said, leaping from the sofa in an uncharacteristicly
enthusiastic manner - obviously it really wouldn't be Lee, but I couldn't take
the chance of it NOT being me to open the door to him. I quickly dragged my
fingers through my hair, straightened my shirt and rearranged myself in my jeans
before I reached for the latch and opened the door.

If people swooned nowadays, I would have done. Instead my legs just went to
jelly and I lost all concept of intelligent conversation again. The image of Lee
standing on the doorstep, smiling at me, just had that effect. We both stood
there for a few moments, both not quite knowing what to say. For the first time,
Lee took the initiative and took a step forward, placed his hands gently on
either side of my face and drew our lips together in a short, gentle, but
exceedingly emotive kiss.

I nearly creamed myself.

"We, uh, didn't get chance to say goodbye properly," he explained, going into
shy mode again. He then flashed his smile at me, turned, and jogged back up the
garden path into the twilight.

I stood in a complete daze. The best looking guy in the whole of God's creation
had just kissed - yes, KISSED - ME!!!!! HE had kissed me. He had kissed ME! He
had KISSED me! Oh YES! If Lee was the best looking, cutest, most enchanting guy
in the world, then I was certainly the most lucky. Thankyou, Lord...


TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

Dean Lidster
dean@meta4.org
http://www.meta4.org (in bits - not a lot there yet!)
=======================================================================