Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2005 12:55:06 EST
From: J
Subject: DOCTOR WHO, JESSE AND JEREMY 13

K9 TAKES THE PISS OUT
Okay well it's a cheat as most cliffhangers in the past are. The Doctor  came
up to a guard and asked, "Is this soon legal?"  The guard just stared. "Can
I borrow  your gun?"
The guard was even taller than Adam. The Doctor had to  look up a foot and a
bit to stare into the hard faced Dutch man's eyes.
Adam was behind the Doctor, "Doctor, what are you doing? The boys have  only
a second or two!"
"Narrow beady eyes...can't hypnotize a man with beady eyes."
The Guard looked, "I beseech you to move along before I accuse you of
witchcraft."
Adam looked, "Oh please, listen, sir. You know those two are  innocent."
"I know no such thing."
"They are,"  Adam said, "And  you know it. I see it in your eyes. Please
sir, let the Doctor have the gun.  Please."
The guard gave the gun to the Doctor. The Doctor aimed the ropes, telling
Adam, "Get under them!"
"That fire better'd be out!"  Adam ran for the fire.
"He can do it!"  The Doctor  snapped, "K9's a good dog! Like you said
before we landed here!"
As the trap door opened, the Doctor shot both ropes almost at the same  time,
a Time Lord can do that. The guard watching, said, "You must be magical to
shoot like that. Almost got two ropes with one bullet."
The Doctor happily handed the gun back to the guard, "Not quite. Just  good
with time."  The Doctor ran and  ran past Wil who was fondling himself  behind
his father and grandfather.
At the same time Jesse and Jeremy fell, Adam faced the fire but at the  same
time, K9 flew overhead and turned his body. From his lower regions water
came. It was not just a sprinkle. It was  a downpour. It put the fire out and Adam
ran under Jesse and Jeremy. He  caught each of  the boys as they  fell and
they were now under his big arms. "I got ya!"
"Don't ever put me down,"  Jesse said.
The Doctor ran to them, "Sorry, don't stop. To the Ship! Now! We must go
now!"   Adam put the boys down  and all four of them ran. K9 had already turned
and flew toward the TARDIS. As  the crowd shrank back in fear, Wil smiled. He
began to pleasure  himself...again.
At the TARDIS, the witch was faced with the image of her mate, a fiery  human
shape. "My love, it no longer matters. You no longer need your body. You  and
I can share eternity in a new form. A new life force."
The Doctor snuck up behind the skeletons and took the boob, "Sorry about
that. I need this. Or is that sorry about this, I need that. This and that...as
the song says..."   He smiled and  dramatically pointed the boob at the
skeletons, "You want moves Jesse, how about  these for moves!!!"
The boy skeleton  quickly  reformed. It was a boy who wore a short cut shirt,
it having been ripped when he  crawled into the cavern to hide the boob. The
Master snapped, "It was he who  stole the boob from me in the 1930s! I want
him dead!"
"My my my, my so called Master, take it in!"  The Doctor said to him without
looking  at his face, "Even you must feel the life coming from it!"  The
professor came alive as well.  "Everybody lives, Adam, everybody lives!"   He
went over to the Professor.  "Professor, I used to be called that by a misguided
explosive expert named Ass,  Ace I think her name was or something equally
silly. Anyway, you get a second  chance, sir, thank me very much later."
Adam smiled, "Doctor, you're rambling."
Professor Welcher said, "I don't know what is going on."
"You'll get used to it,"  Jesse smirked, "If you stay with us."
"He...he's so old though,"   Jeremy frowned.
"Old? OLD!"  The Doctor  yelled, "He's not old! I'm OLD! I am much older
than all of you put together!  Except that one...wait the Master? He's my ....son?
Or was that my father?  I...brother? Brother!"  The Doctor  hugs the Master.
"Leave go of me! The final indignity!"
"I always told you to lock your door. Anyone could sneak in and steal a  look
at you...well, doing your nasty things that you did, do, or something like  that
..."
The Master fumed.
"I mean you're not called Master for nothing."  He leaned in and whispered, "
Should I  tell them the rest of your name?"
"Doctor, I still have my mental powers. I can kill all your friends now  if I
concentrate."
The Doctor ran to his friends, "Quickly, one! Two! Three! Four! Five!  Six! ...
of you into the TARDIS!" The Doctor opened the doors and threw each of  them
in before they could protest...Jesse...Jeremy...Adam...the Professor, the 1930s
boy, and then even plucked K9 from the air and shoved him inside...and then he
turned to the alien male. "Thank you. Males are almost always so much  more..."
"War like? Aggressive?"
"Yes,"  the Doctor said, "But  they also sometimes straighten things out.
Have a good life."
The witch was glowing, "Thank you, Doctor. I am sorry."
"Yes,"  the Doctor said, "I  am too. For him."   He looked  at the Master.
He heard the sounds of the Penn group making their way toward the  area. "And
now I feel as if I don't leave now, I might never be able to get  outta here.
So, have a good one!"  He waved.
The aliens hugged and glew. They shot up like a rocket in a ray of light
that went up vertically. The Master looked as the Doctor shut the doors,  "
Doctor! Don't leave me! Not here in this primitive time!"
The Doctor  opened the  doors.
"You're gonna take me! You're gonna do it?"
"No, just one final word or two. This time is not as primitive as the far
far past. I must say that I saw a tribe on the islands not long ago that made
this lot look almost tea time totallers! Farewell, hope you don't see me again,
 mother."  The Doctor closed the  doors and the TARDIS vanished as the Master
banged on it. The crowd came and saw  him banging on something just
vanishing.
Someone in the crowed yelled, "WITCH!"
In the TARDIS, the Doctor put an arm around Jesse on the  right and an arm
around Jeremy on the left, "It's so good to have you both  back!"
The Professor looked around, "It...it...it..."
The boy, Joey, looked around too, "Is big..."
"Sigh,"  the Doctor moved to  the console, "Don't say it. Everybody else
does. So, you're name is Joey, is  it?"
"Yeah I didn't remember telling you my name?"
"He's a bit psychic,"  Jesse  put his arm around Joey, "And you are from
what year?"
The Doctor set the coordinates, "1931. From the college there,  yes?"
"Yes,"  the boy said, "It was  a college stunt that I stole the boob in the
first place. Took it out of this  cabinet."
"Looked like this didn't it?"   Jesse waved across the console room.
Joey looked  up, "Yeah, saw this set up but it was better like..."
"Better? Better!"  The Doctor  set the TARDIS flying. "Sooner we get you out
of here, the better! That's  better!"
"Doctor,"  Adam came over to  them, "Be nice."

"Better in sight only, sir,"  Joey said, "But I dare say it was not as lived
in as this one. Not as  homey..."
Jeremy came up behind Joey, "You're not making any points,  kid."
"What I mean is this Ship is nicer and has a warmer feeling to  it."
The TARDIS made a sound. The Doctor patted the console, "Well, she, yeah,
she, likes you so you're welcome to stay as long as you like."
Professor Welcher sat in the large wicker chair and waved a handkerchief  at
his face, "It's all too much for me."
They laughed.
"It sounds too loud this time,"  The Doctor said, "I'd better take a look
at the bottom."
Patting Jesse's ass, the Doctor dove under the console.
Jesse smiled, "Later, Doctor, once we've returned all the new  cumers."
"Not yours,"  the Doctor  snapped as he put his head back up, "The TARDIS!"
As the newcomers, Welcher and Joey, made their way around the console  room,
guided by Adam, Jesse began to look at the ornament that resembled a giant
bird, the wicker chair, a few other older wooden chairs, a table with candles on
 it, and large alcoves with tubes in side and more computers. Jeremy looked
at  the Doctor's left hand, which held onto the boob, "Doctor...you still have
the  ..."
"So I do!"  The Doctor was  looking at the bottom of the console as the
TARDIS began to hum louder and  louder. "It's perfectly fine."
Jeremy looked, "I meant the tit."
"I think it just made the TARDIS more efficient."
"What?"  Jeremy asked,  "Doctor, it still has power?"
"Well,"  the  Doctor was on his knees, "Indeed and since she doesn't need
it any longer,  becoming all non corporeal and all that, I can keep it..."  He
rolled his eyes back in his head and  his eyelids burned red, "It's mine,
Jeremy, all mine, do you hear?"  His voice became strange and deeper.  Jesse came
over, looking concerned too. The Doctor didn't skip a beat, "I can do
anything in the universe with the universe that I want to and I have complete
control over the entire realm of existence...do you hear that, boys? I'm in  control
and I can do whatever I like with whom and whatever I like! Absolute  power
absolutely!"
Jeremy put a hand on the Doctor's back, "Doctor, are you all  right?"
The Doctor dropped the whole strange voice and stood up straight, "Well,  of
course, I'm alright, but what if I weren't, huh, I ask you that?"
Jesse slapped the Doctor's back in annoyance, "You had us..."  then he looked
at the calm Jeremy,  "...well, me, worried..."
"Well, that's why I think the sooner I drop this into the Eye Of Harmony,
the better."  He walked toward the  exit to the rooms within but Jesse grabbed
his arm.
"Huh, Doctor just a sec, mate."   Jesse looked at him, "What is the  dealio?
I mean all the new furniture, I didn't think you put these in here while  we
were in danger?"
"No, of course not, I rarely have time to redecorate."
"Well, then, who did?"  Jesse  shrugged.
Jeremy looked at them, "Yeah, it's changed a bit."
"Well, the TARDIS and I sometimes do it one two three with a flick of the
switches. And as you know both, we have some different console rooms about the
place, all of which I've used at various times...but..."  He turned red.
"Ahh, but what?"  Jesse shook  his head.
"C'mon, Doctor, there's no secrets between us."
"I know. Well, what I mean is that, I have tons of secrets, that even I  don'
t remember. I mean..."  He looked  at their incredulous faces, "I just forgot
about some of them. This one is a  kind of  thing I made. He is like a  maid,
made. I think. Or is that a made maid? Anyway I took the DNA of two of my
favorite male companions..."
Jesse almost walked away and did take a step or two back,  "I don't think I
want to hear this."
Jeremy looked like he was getting mad but he contained it, unlike Jesse,  "I
do."
"Shall I go on?"
"Yea,"  Jeremy said. Jesse  curled up his lip.
"Ben and Jamie. And I made them into a kind of android flesh thing clone.  He
is called Benjijamie."
The boys both repeated the name. "That's so lame,"   Jesse frowned.
"Yeah but kinda neat too, dude,"  Jeremy smiled, "We've never seen him."
"He's around here somewhere,"   the Doctor said, "But it's a big TARDIS and
he tends to like being by  himself."
"Okay,"  Jeremy said, "Doc,  the tit."
"Oh yeah, I'll be right back, entertain the troops."  The Doctor said, "
Funny, you know, the  Eye is where the Master was not too long ago."   The boys
looked at him. "Yeah,  well, I'll be right back."
Jesse looked around, "Do you see all this new stuff?"
"Yeah and did you see those images of Ben and Jamie from the databank?  This
guy must be some hunk."
"Doesn't hold a candle to you,"   Jesse had picked one up from the  table
and handed it to Jeremy.
Jesse held the candle out over Jeremy's chest and Jeremy moved back,  "Later.
"  He smiled.
Adam moved between them, "You guys, you know the TARDIS well?"
"As well as we know the Doctor,"  Jesse said and eyed Jeremy, who shook his
head in amazement that he said  that.
"Why?"  Jeremy raised an  eyebrow. Adam was hot.
"These two, they want to see the rest of the TARDIS..."
"That could take a life time."  Jesse commented.
"I told them that they might get lost,"   Adam said, "But they won't take
no  for answer."
"Okay, I'll handle this,"  Jesse said and puffed his chest out. He went over
to Joey, "Listen you,  boy..."
"I'm in college..."
"Yeah in the 1930s...what year?"
"1931..."
"I imagine that makes you about the level of  junior high school mental age
in our  time..."
Jeremy moved over to them, "You are gonna get a slap you are,"  Jeremy
smiled and pointed at Jesse, who  smiled back and pointed back. "Don't mind him,"
Jeremy said, "I'll show you around. We  can kill some time before we arrive
in your time."
Jesse stood behind Joey, "College age, huh?"  He took his shirt off, "Whoa,
is it hot  in here or is that just me?"
Adam looked at him, "Definitely just you."
"Oh?"  Jesse looked at him,  mad.
"Yeah you're hot,"   Adam said.
"Think about staying with us?"  Jesse asked.
"You mean on the TARDIS?"
"Yeah, why not?"  Jeremy  chimed in.
Joey piped up, "Me too?"
Jeremy shrugged, "Why not? Anyone who steals something from the Master,  is
the enemy of my enemy and all that, has my winning approval."  He laughed, "I
sound like a  dork..."
Jesse came to Jeremy, "You are a dork."  He put Jeremy's hand on his own
chest,  "C'mon let's do it, right here, right now..."
"I would but..."  Jeremy  shrugged and dipped his body, "Old guy..."
"Yeah can we see the rest now?"   The Professor came over to  them.
As they took the tour, Jeremy separated from the group and went through  the
huge Gallifrean marked doors, giant affairs of gold. He watched as the  Doctor
tossed the stone boob into the Eye and closed it again using his own  eyes.
Jeremy watched, "Are you okay?"
"Yes, it's just ironic isn't it? The Master used the eye to take on the
life forms of dying or dead Gallifreans and some of them Time Lords. Now the
priceless thing he wanted is back in there and he's not."
"But it's all over now?"  Jeremy asked.
"Yes,"  the Doctor said and  came to Jeremy, "Just seeing him again..."  He
hugged the boy who hugged back tightly.
"It's allright, Doctor, it's allright."   Jeremy shut his eyes.
"Just hold me."
"I will."
In the console room, a very muscled naked Benjijamie came in and put out  a
golden hat stand. He smiled and walked back to his quarters.
"Doctor,"   Jesse later  asked, "Joey, he doesn't look like a rich kid."
"You've been thinking again, Jesse, that's a good  thing,"   The Doctor
said.
Jesse has just brought the Professor, Adam, and Joey back to the console
room with K9`s help where  they met  up again with the Doctor and Jeremy. Jesse
said, "He wasn't in any college. He  must be lying..."
"Yes and in 1931, we shall find out why..."
to be continued...

Doctor Who, K9, the TARDIS, and the Master are  all the BBC's copyright. No
infringement is meant.