Date: Fri, 8 Aug 2014 13:44:43 -0400 (EDT)
From: J
Subject: Doctor Who, Jesse and Jeremy 142

If you do not donate, the Master will shrink your penises! Just
kidding. But donate anyway!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA5HaVGbopM

JEREMY, JESSE, AND DOCTOR WHO 142

Men in Style vs Men in Black

The leader went on to explain.  "What we do not know is your connection to
the Master here."

"We're on holiday!"  Jeremy slammed a desk draw.

The leader came up behind him and slammed him to the wall, near a lamp desk
set up. Jeremy's face was at the wall.

 "One more time you OR YOU..."  he turned to Jesse and the Doctor who
started to run at him from where they were, covered by the other three men.
"speak...and I shan't hesitate to shoot. I know that one word is all you
need to stop us so we must be careful. Now nod if you understand!"

Jeremy spoke to the wall. "Gotcha. I mean..."  he nodded.

"You are trying my patience, Mr. Sumpter. Yes, I know who you are as I've
already said. Now, finish dressing..."

Jeremy was a bit embarrassed that he was turned on by this action. His
dick, aroused, rose up against the wall.

As the trio dressed, the leader waved a gun at his men. "Watch them!"

"My pleasure sir," the redhead said. "I mean...yes, sir."

Jesse winked at him.

(CUE DOCTOR WHO=NEW SERIES FOURTH SEASON—UNIT ROCKS MUSIC soundtrack
track 7)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uvAKFDutjY

After they finished dressing, two of the men, the brunette and blond,
shoved the Doctor and Jeremy out the door of the bedroom, then along the
hallway. Jeremy stared daggers at the two men. The redhead gave Jesse a
hand signal out the door first. Jesse smiled. He nodded yes and left the
room. The redhead put a hand on his arm and guided him. Soon, all of them
were out of the house. A limo driver opened a door on one side of the limo
that was on the side of the driveway that faced the house. The Doctor's
house was a ranch on a corner of a quiet small street with a straight road
and three houses on one side and four on the other. Across the street from
the Doctor's house was an older home that looked more stone than wood and
faced the avenue, unlike the Doctor's home. On the left side of the house
as one exits the front door, was the busier, but at the moment not very
busy, avenue. On the right side of the house as one exits, is the series of
three homes, only one like the Doctor's house, two made uniform. From that
home, a redheaded woman in curls, came out her front door to get the
newspaper. "I asked that man not to throw the newspaper at my flowers!"
She walked down the step from her quaint porch and moved toward her garden
which was directly in front of her porch and bay window. As she stooped,
she waved, "Oh, good morning, Doctor, good morning!"

The Doctor waved and the leader tried to stop him by grabbing his arm but
he decided not to and put his arm down. The men also hid their guns in
their jackets. "Oh, good morning, Mrs. Abbott..."

"Oh, it's Ms. Doctor, you know that."  She laughed. "Now call me Ms. or
I'll go back to calling you Doc."

The Doctor nodded an affirmation.

"Where are you going?"

"You're not going to shoot her, are you?"  Jeremy asked the blond man. The
blond confused.

"Oh, a wedding. Jesse's cousin is getting married."

"And you're wearing those clothes?"

"Nosy neighbors give me a headache," the Doctor murmured. "It's a new
fad. Change at the church."

Jesse shot the Doctor a look as he and the redheaded man in black passed
him and the others by en route into the limo. Jesse sat in the seat and
tapped it for the redhead who nodded "no."  He wasn't coming. Jeremy also
shot the Doctor a look of scorn. The Doctor shrugged.

"Things are not like they were in my day. And the bride's probably wearing
white, isn't she? And she's probably lived with him for five years."

Jesse yelled out of the limo back seat, "Six."

"Six!"  Ms. Abbott laughed. "I don't know what this world is coming to."

"Indeed."  The Doctor laughed. "You can't even be at peace in your own
home, sometimes."  The leader shoved the Doctor.

"Time to go," the leader said.

The Doctor and Jeremy were shoved into the limo. The door was slammed. The
door on the other side of the limo opened and a man sat next to Jesse. He
was bald. "Oh I like baldies," the Doctor said and touched the man's
head. The man jerked his head away and held his gun aloft. The Doctor
looked hurt. "I used to be bald myself. More than once."

Jesse smiled at the man. "Woh, this is comfy."

Jeremy was on the far side. "Doctor, I want to get away from these goons."

"I don't. Enjoy the ride."

"Why?"

"Deer Park Avenue. It's filled with life."

"Traffic," Jesse quipped.

"Teeming with life, in fact."

"Remember not to talk," the bald man said.

"Yes. Sorry bald guy!"  The Doctor pointed.  When he saw the man's face
change to anger, the Doctor corrected himself.  "I mean big guy."

"We're on Northern State," Jesse said as the limo drove onto the exit ramp
and up Northern State.  "Long Island Expressway's faster?"

"Shut up!"  The bald man yelled. "How many times I have to tell you! I want
no suggestions given to the driver."

Jesse was about to say something but stopped himself.

"Or to me, for that matter."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BowEGLTLad0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UB0mx8guLU

The limo drove down the Northern State Expressway. Jesse looked out at many
trees. Sunshine illuminated his face. "Aren't you afraid we'll know where
you're bringing us?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot."

Jeremy whispered. "Why are you letting them think you're the Master?"

"I'm not, of course but..."

"You're not?"  Jeremy slyly smiled.

"Very funny. You know I'm not."

"Go on," Jeremy whispered.

"If we get away, we won't know what they're up to and it does seem
important. And if they're aliens as their guns indicate, or as alien as
their guns, then I have to do something to stop them or help them."

"Help?"  Jeremy said that far too loud so he lowered it. "Help them?"

"Depends on what they're doing here and why they want the Master?"

"They seem human to me," Jeremy noted.

"Yes, they do," the Doctor nodded.

"I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

"You're beginning to sound like Jesse."

"Thank you."  Jeremy noticed the Doctor's face, "What? He's got a great
voice."

Jesse whispered to himself. The limo passed over a bridge. Then, it
dropped. A car sized opening appeared in the bridge and the car
dropped. The bridge finished itself to allow other cars to pass over
it. Inside the limo, it was dark. The boys looked around. The Doctor looked
at the bald man, "Underground exit?"

The car emerged on a darker road, dark, even on this sunny morning. "Sweet
Hollow Road?"  Jesse asked. "I'd recognize it anywhere."

"Really?"  The Doctor looked out the window with renewed interest, almost
crushing Jeremy's shoulder and cheek. "I've always wanted to come here."

"What?"  Jeremy asked, "Why?"

"There're several stories of ghosts and hauntings, Mary's Grave, hanging
boys, ghostly apparitions, even men in black..."  the Doctor realized what
he just said. "Aliens. It also connects with Mount Misery Road..."

Jesse finished, "Considered one of the most haunted places in the world."

"That's an old graveyard!"  Jeremy pointed toward the side window.

"Yes, so it is," the Doctor peered over him.

The bald man was drawn into the conversation. "Yes, don't worry. We won't
bury you three there. Those there dates back to the 18th, 17th, and even
16th centuries."

"Yes, so they are," the Doctor stated. "One of my best friends is buried
there."

Jesse looked quizzically at Jeremy. Both shrugged.

"You're mad," the bald man stated.

"No, just been here before. And you've obviously not been kept in the
loop. I mean if I'm you're quarry and you're..."

"Shut up!"  The man waved the gun.

The car passed down Sweet Hollow Road and intersected with another
road. Finally, it moved to a large flat area with a castle and a hill
behind it. "That's Oheka Castle."  Jesse pointed.

"Oh, so it is. I should have recognized this area!"  The Doctor snapped to
himself.

"Been here before, sir?"  The bald man asked.

"Yes. Between 1979, methinks and oh, roundabouts 1982, you'll find there
were about, well, what the press thought were about 100 arson attempts but
was actually...wait, why am I telling you this? You told me to shut up."

"Yes, sir."

Jeremy looked at Jesse. "He was here before," they both seemed to be saying
to each other silently.  Jeremy reached up and pressed a button. A sun roof
opened up. Jeremy stood up and looked out. He could see the castle. The
limo passed a main road and went left from it toward a hidden road, hidden
by trees and bushes. They headed for a hill behind the castle. A
semi-circle opened up in the hillside to allow the limo to pass through
into the hill.

"How very Stargate of them," Jeremy said as he looked out the sun roof.

"Close that!"  The driver snapped.

"What're you gonna do---shoot me?"  Jeremy asked.

Jesse pulled him down and pointed to the man next to them on the large
seat. The man had some kind of super science gun pointed at them. "Stun?"

The man kept silent.

The Doctor started singing.  "Gray clouds are gonna clear up. Put on a
happy face. Brush off the clouds and cheer up. Put on a happy face. Eh,
Jeremy, Jesse, can't you do that?"

"I don't like being kidnapped, Doctor. Happens a lot to friends of yours,
does it?"  Jeremy pouted.

"Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy, it's not your style. You look so good
that you'll be glad ya decide to smile."

"Shut up," Jeremy stammered. "I'm sick and tired of being kidnapped, shot
at, savaged by bug eyed monsters, not knowing if I'm coming or going..."
he struggled for what else he was sick of, and then realized and added,
"...or being. And boy! Am I tired of being killed to death..."

"Sir?"  the passenger in the front seat asked into a microphone that was
attached to the dashboard asked. "Are you hearing this?"

"Yes, it's them all right. It's him all right. Bring them in and make sure
none of them are harmed."

"As you say but it'll be difficult. All three of them seem highly dangerous
and lethal."

"Nonsense. It's the Doctor. He's not...leth...well, maybe, but do as you're
told, sergeant."  The voice sighed and then added, "Just bring them in,
sergeant."

Jesse pulled faces at the rear view mirror, put his fingers in his mouth to
elongate it, stuck his tongue out, and crossed his eyes at the same time.

"Well, maybe you're right, Jeremy. You look good no matter what your face
is doing."

Jeremy's angry demeanor changed and his face cracked into a smile.

The Doctor laughed. "That's the way, my boy. That noble chin spreading
sunshine everyplace. Think of a banana split and licorice and you'll feel
fine."

Jeremy screwed up the left corner of his mouth.  "I do. But what kind of
new trouble are we in now? I mean who are these men in black? Are we gonna
see Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones?"  Jesse and the Doctor laughed.  Jeremy
looked at them and laughed, too.

The limo stopped in a dark small space. Lights illuminated a larger
building opposite the small space.

Three large men escorted them from the large one-way, see-through glass
doors...which ran the full length of the front of the building. They were
shoved in. "Hey, no need to shove!"  Jesse snapped off at them.  "Don't you
ever get tired of being shoved around?"

"Frequently."  The Doctor puffed, with growing acceptance.

Inside, three more men grabbed a hold of their arms, a man for each
arm. "Oh, an escort."  Jesse looked at the tall, broad shouldered man in
black. They all wore shades and while different, were all handsome and
strong.  "Does this end the same way all escort services do?"

"Ow! Hey! That hurt!"  Jesse pulled at his escort.

The man took his shades off. "That was nothing, ginger boy."

"He's not a redhead."  Jeremy turned, twisted free of his escort and told
the man that held the shades.

"I know. I meant gingerbread. I mean you and him and that one seem so
breakable."  The man laughed.

"I'm gonna show you who's breakable."  Jeremy pointed. "I'm telling you,
handle with care. I'm not gonna warn you again."

The man laughed in his face. "Whatta you gonna do?"

"Keep tossing us around and you'll find out."

The man with the shades, put them in his pocket and took control of the
Doctor, nodded to the one by the Doctor to take control of Jesse. Jesse
smiled. "Hey there, sexy. You're not gonna be rough, are you?"

"I'm as gentle as a porn star."

"Oh, dear, then I AM in trouble," Jesse quipped.

"Let's go, kid."  This one lead Jesse ahead of the Doctor and Jeremy.

The one Jeremy warned pushed the Doctor. Jeremy broke free of his new
escort again. "I toll you."  He turned the man with the shades around and
punched him right in the nose.

"OWWWW!"  The man reached for his gun under his jacket. Jeremy twisted his
arm and pushed him against the wall.

The Doctor took the gun from under the man's arm pit holster. "Good, Doc,
let's get out of here!"

By this time, Jesse's escort had returned with Jesse to access the
situation. The man behind Jeremy had his gun out but Jeremy back handed a
punch to the man's arm and the gun fell. Jeremy kicked it away as the man
stooped for it. He stood up and saw the Doctor with the gun, holding it by
the nozzle. "C'mon, Doctor, let's go and get Jesse and get..."  He had his
ju jitsu fists ready, pointer finger, mid-knuckle facing out the furthest
on both fists. His thumb was behind, supporting it, again on each hand. His
feet was in balance fight mode.

He wondered what the Doctor was waiting for.  "Da...what are you...?"

To Jeremy's amazement, the Doctor gave the gun back to the man. "I'm sure
we can all calm down."

"Calm down. I dink he broke my doze."

The Doctor moved to touch it but the man backed away. "Lemmesee."

"Don't touch it!"

"You have to forgive Jeremy here..."

Jeremy rolled his eyes. He had already scrambled up the other man's
gun. The man looked frightened. Jeremy smiled and flipped it around, his
finger through the round firing piece. He held it more firmly as it stopped
spinning. "I think this shit is yours."  He returned it to him. The man
took it and looked confused. "Don't know what to do with your gun, do you?"

"Jeremy, here, is used to using excessive force..."

Jeremy nodded proudly.

"...against monks and skinny cave men..."

Jeremy frowned and rolled his eyes. The man he hit looked at him and he
shrugged and put his hands up, palms flat.

"He did warn me."

The Doctor touched it and waved his palm over it, brushing the skin. "I
don't think your doze...your nose...is broken."

The man touched it. "It...what did you do?"

"What? Little ole me?"  The Doctor shrugged now.

"It...it feels totally different. Not broke at all."

"Jeremy's good at breaking them. I'm good at noses. We make a good team. I
had a nose once that was..."

Jeremy put his arm under the Doctor's arm. "Shall we go?"

The Doctor put his arm through Jeremy's.  "Yes. Jer...punching out someone
is not the Doctor's way."

"It is when it's the Doctor plus Jeremy plus Jesse..."

"See your point."

"Yeah, that did turn me on a bit."

The man who was punched let his anger simmer away. He took out a
radio. "These three are lethal, Brigadier."

"Well, then, make sure you don't lose your life to them before you get them
here. After there, you may stand down or let them lethal you."

"Yes sir."

They were lead through a maze of doors, metallic hallways, and finally to a
door that read SADD on it. The door opened and the Doctor gasped. "It's
you!"

Standing at the door was his old friend. "Who's he?"  Jesse asked, "You
know this pencil pusher?"

"Hello, Doctor."

"Jesse, you will mind what you say to one of my oldest and dearest...very
oldest..."

"Doctor..."  Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart was his full
height and in a more casual uniform than usual but a uniform it was. And
light green colored.  He talked without menace but with someone who loved
to tease the Doctor if he could get an upper hand...not that he always
could. But there were times. "It's you who should mind what you
say...oldest am I?"

"Jesse, Jeremy, meet Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart...I was right, the
men that brought us here were from UNIT. I think."

Jesse fake hit the Doctor's shoulder with an open palm strike. "You could
have told us."

"We had INTELL, wrong of course..."

"Of course..."

"That the Master had taken up residence in your home..."


"You knew that was my home?"

"I do keep tabs on you, Doctor."

"On your enemies?"

"And friends, Doctor. Anyway, we thought perhaps the Master had, uhm, taken
your body..."

"It has been known to be one of his targets."

Jesse smiled. "Who could blame him? It IS quite a body."

"We also know of his penchant for boys, thus we thought these two might
have been hypnotized..."

"That's been known to happen, too but we're not susceptible."

At Jeremy's statement, the Doctor coughed. "Bullshit."  He recovered and
quickly added, "Sorry. I mean I know you're both strong willed but my
son...the Master can't be underestimated when it comes to hypnotic powers.
He's almost as good as I am."

Jeremy took his turn to cough, "BETTER!"

The Doctor stared at him and shook his pointer finger at him. He broke his
serious face into a smile. Jeremy gleamed back at him.

The Doctor looked confused. "The Master has a proclivity for boys?"

"Ha. You said pro clitititty."  Jesse joked. The Doctor stared him down.

"What a surprise," Jeremy mocked. "Who would have thought."

"Who, indeed," the Brig stood up.  "It's what our intell says."

"Your agents are always picking up traces of the Master."  The Doctor
laughed. "Remember when in the 70s or was it the 80s..."

"Or was it the 80s," was said at the same time by Jesse and Jeremy.

The Doctor glared at them. "Anyway, they were always spotting the Master."

"These agents were particularly reliable, Doctor."

"Bunch of bullies if you ask me," Jesse commented.

"They even arrested a man once. Turned out to be the Spanish ambassador."

Jesse and Jeremy laughed.

"Ha, ha, very funny. I don't see you making any inroads into capturing
him."

"True. True."  The Doctor said. "I do, however, understand that that
particular incarnation of the Master was in 1580 posing as Francis Drake's
enemy Count Bernadino de Mendoza."

"He's slippery as an eel," said the Brigadier.

"So what is this then?"  The Doctor waved his arms and asked. "Inside this
rather large hill...under Oheka Castle?"

"It's a UNIT branch. UNIT Special American Defense Department."  The Brig
pointed to a sign on his door before he closed it.

"U, you sad?"  Jesse looked at the same insignia engraved in the gold
plaque that sat on the Brig's desk. "Now, that's just SADD."

The others looked at him.

Jesse pointed to the plaque, then opened the door, "It is, it's sad...they
left U out."

Jeremy puffed, "Stop."

The Brig looked at the wall. "How droll."

The Doctor came from leaning his back on the wall and suddenly sprang at
the Brig.  "Do you know how far out in space we were before you called us?
And possibly in time, too."

Jesse whispered behind the Brig.  "He doesn't really know himself."

"No change there, then," chuckled the Brig so that his shoulders moved up
and down.  At the same time, he raised his eyebrows.

"Brigadier, why have you kidnapped me and my two..."

"These the latest models? Companions? Is that what these are?"

"Hey toe rag, watch who you're calling companions," Jeremy spouted.

Jesse puffed his chest up. "Partners more like."

"Oh, on equal footing?"  The Brig asked.

Jesse was stunned for a bit by that question. "Well, I...ah, might not say
that."

"So, he's still the brains behind..."

"No, what Jesse meant is that they're better than I am," the Doctor
interjected. "Again, why have you kidnapped me? I wanted a nice, quiet
life, you know."

"My, my."  The Brig laughed. "You have changed. They look like models
anyway."

"We're lovers," the Doctor blurted out as he sat in a plush black chair
behind the Brig's desk and put his feet up on the desk. The Brig shut his
eyes to push out this annoyance. And he smiled.

"Did you have to just blurt it out like that?"  Jesse stammered.

"Stiff upper lip, my boy."  The Brig raised his left eyebrow. He looked the
two boys up and down. "Partners, uhm? Oh."  Then, the truth dawned on the
Brig and his face showed it to the others.  "Oh, wait. Oh, I see."

"I think he's the one that needs the stiff upper lip now," Jeremy whispered
to the Doctor.

"That's not all that's stiff on me for the Doc," Jesse quipped. The Brig
did a double take before trying to talk again. The Doctor merely rolled his
eyes.

"I remembered that I had that old space time telegraph system..."  the Brig
started.

"That antiquated thing? And you used it?"  The Doctor asked, rising from
the chair.

 "I did."

"Oh. That old thing. I completely forgot about that. Why...I'm not even
sure which Control Room it's in. Why didn't you try to contact me
otherwise..."

"I did."

"You did?"

"I did."

"How?"

"I used the cell phone number Miss Smith gave me..."

"Cell phone? Those old things? Those went out millennia ago..."  The Doctor
stopped as they stared at him. "Why are you all looking at me like..."

Jeremy shook his head at him.

"They didn't?"

"They didn't," The Brig said. "Well, rather, not yet at any rate. For those
of us normal people."

"Age hasn't mellowed you, Brigadier."

"Anyhow, Doctor, I still couldn't contact you and as I knew..."

"Wait a minute. Why didn't you try to the telepathic neural net..."

"The what?"

"The telepathic neural net...much faster and everyone can just link into it
like a Tomorrow..."  The Doctor stopped as he saw them staring at him
again.  "Hasn't been invented yet, has it?"

"Fraid not, Doctor," the Brig said. "But if I may...I'll explain to you why
I brought you back."

The Doctor took the Brig by the arm and led him to a corner of the room.
"I hope you have a very good reason for calling me back, Alistair."

The Brig looked the Doctor in the eyes. "Several in fact. IF I may get to
the reasons..."

"Go ahead."  The Doctor flopped into a chair opposite the desk and put his
feet up on the desk. "Make it good."

The men started to rush at the Doctor but as Jesse and Jeremy blocked to
defend, putting themselves between the Doctor and the three men, the
Brigadier waved them off.  "Dismissed."

"But sir..."

"Dismissed!"

"Yes, sir."  The three men backed out the door.

"And shut it."  The Brig nodded. The men obeyed.

The Doctor rose up from the desk and banged it with his fist. "Will this
constant interference in my life go on forever?"

"Constant? I've not called on you since..."

"It's either you, or the Time Lords or Torchwood or UNIT Australia or ..."

"When did we get an Australian branch?"

"You're not supposed to know that!"

"Me? I'm allowed to know everything. At my age."

"Your age? Look at my age. And I already know everything. Twice."


Jesse took Jeremy by the arm to a corner while the Doctor talked to the
Brig. "Hey, do you think these two...?"

Jeremy's eyebrow went up, puzzled face washed over him. "I...I doubt...I
don't know."

"I mean look at them. They're behaving like an old married couple."

"The Doctor told us there was only that Tom character and Casey and maybe
one or two others. Certainly not this guy..."  Jeremy stopped. He shrugged.

"Yeah. No. He seems pretty straight to me."

"So why have you summoned me, Brigadier?"  The Doctor sat on the Brig's
desk.

The Brigadier nodded. "No, I'd be sorting it myself if I could sort these
sort of things out alone. It's because there are strange goings on at
Montauk Point, on the East End of Long Island..."

The Doctor frowned.  "I know where Montauk is. I used to live here before I
met Jesse and Jeremy here, you know!"  He thought about something
else. "You recognized me?"

The Brigadier smiled, put down his pointer stick and stood up, "Always
have, always will.  It's basically still you inside."

Jesse quietly quipped, "Inside of me, usually."  The Doctor shot him a
look. Fortunately, the Brig didn't hear.

"Some of the murders have had witnesses. The Brigadier added, "So can you
take on the motorcycle attacks and the Montauk Project?"

The Doctor shrugged, "One thing at a time Brigadier, one thing at a
time..."

The Brig drew closer to him. "That's never stopped you before..."  He had a
twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face.

The Doctor did, also.  "Brigadier, it is nice to see you again."

Jesse whispered to Jeremy, "Oh yeah, those two have so had sex."

"Naw."  Jeremy nodded "no" to Jesse.

"You interest me, Brigadier..."

"See," Jesse told Jeremy.

"Brigadier, did you say something about the East end? What's been going on?
Specifically?"

"People have been vanishing off the streets. The homeless as well as the
homed,..."

Jesse asked, "Homos?"

The Brig shots him a dirty look and angry at that somewhat. "Old men and
women, children, teenagers..."

The Doctor said, "Oh, that's bad..."

"That's not all. Some of them, mostly the children and teenagers who have
homes, have been returned, with absolutely no knowledge that they were ever
gone or have ever lost time...There's also the acting up of animals, deer
crashing through people's living room windows, teenagers suddenly
attacking, molesting adults, vandalizing, as if somebody has turned on a
switch...but why?"

The Doctor put a hand to his chin and walked the length of the room.  He
looked at Jesse and then at Jeremy. He turned back to the Brig, "Because
someone has turned on a switch...I'll..."

"I'm not done. There's more. Strange weather occurrences, freak lightning
and thunderstorms, again as if someone...well, you get the idea..."

"And?"

"Reports of UFOs in the night skies, hairy giant monsters roaming the
woods..."

The Doctor sighed, "Anything else?"

"Things suddenly appearing and disappearing and reappearing right in front
of witnesses' eyes."

"Ghosts?"  Jesse asked.

"And?..."

"There's a good chance a shadow government may have been in charge of all
of it!"

"Just what we need."

The Brig nodded. "I know. There was a project in the base that was out
there but it was supposed to have been shut down ages ago. No one should be
there at all. I don't know if anyone is..."

"And?"

"I...personally have been having...well, dreams..."

Jesse smiled. "Wet ones?"

Jeremy joked, too. "About the Doctor?"

"Certainly not on both counts."

"Don't mind them. They delight in deviousness, my good man. Continue."

"There's something to do with a factory in Farmingdale. In my dream. I know
it's nonsense but I can't help but feel that my dreams are linked to this
project somehow and at least some of these events. Can you help?"

"I'm sure we can," the Doctor said.

Jesse looked at Jeremy. They looked tired.  The Doctor came between them.
"Jesse, Jeremy, the first thing we have to do is..."

"Nah uh," Jesse nodded. "No way."

"We're on holiday, unless something like the imminent destruction of the
Earth is like, well, imminent... "

The Doctor rubbed the back of his head. "I...suppose not. I wanted to check
out some of these occurrences."

"Brigie, baby," Jesse asked, "Do you have a car you can lend us."

"Brigie Baby?"  The Doctor scorned.

"We're going to the beach," Jeremy informed them.

"You said some of the occurrences have happened near or around Robert
Moses?"  Jesse asked.

The Brig smiled. "I did, indeed? There are strange things going on on all
over Long Island right now, Doctor."

The Doctor quipped, "I'll say, you should have seen the gay night life out
here."

"Gay?"  the Brig was still realizing. "Doctor, you used to go puff...eh,
gay bars?!!"

"Gay clubs, Brigadier, use the word clubs. I was trying to find myself
again on Earth, stuck here again...after...something happened..."

"We want to do something other than monster hunting, this time, Doctor."
Jeremy rebelled.

"Yes, well...I don't see why you have to..."

"We're going."  Jesse snapped.

"We can check out the beaches there and the monsters that might be
there. If any. Or monster packages. If you know what I mean."

The Brig slapped Jesse on the shoulder. "I like these two, Doctor. More
than a match for you, are they?"

"Yes."  The Doctor sighed as the Brig lead the two boys out of the
room. "They certainly are."

"Have I got a car for you," The Brig told the boys as they walked through
white corridors.

They went into a larger room and the Brig marched to a warehouse-like gray
door. He unlocked it and men stood at attention on the other side. Some of
them were UNIT soldiers and some were mechanics. "At ease, men," the Brig
told them. Some of the men whispered as the Doctor walked past. He just
gave them the eye, sometimes the evil eye, sometimes a mischievous
one. They walked past men working on a helicopter that had the call letters
G-AWFL on it.  Behind the helicopter, two men worked on a familiar yellow
roadster. A canary yellow roadster.

"BESSIE!"  The Doctor squealed.

 http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Bessie

Jeremy and Jesse laughed. Jesse asked, "Does it run on petrol or steam?"

"Quiet. Bessie's very sensitive."  He looked at the license plate. "WHO 1
and the symbol for infinity?"
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/File:Infinity_Symbol.jpg

The Brig rose up to him. "Yes, well, I don't know how many there are of
you, do I?"

Jeremy whispered behind the Brig. "Neither does he. He's lost count."

"You've lost count? You don't know how many of you there are any longer?"

"Yes, well, mystery is the spice of life, Brigadier."  To Jeremy, the
Doctor threw, "Big mouth."  Jeremy laughed and playfully elbowed the
Doctor.

The Brig had two men working on it.  He told them, "Bessie is a Siva Tourer
from a Dorset firm---Neville Tresclott Design or something. It has a 1950
Ford Popular chasis and engine. Much of it is Edwardian."

"And fiber glass! Well, I can use a nice quiet, calm car to drive in, nice,
slow, no shaking, no tilting, nothing jerky. Nothing over say 40 miles an
hour."  Jesse felt the yellow paint job. "It's probably not very fast but
I'll take it."

The Brig eyed the Doctor as if they shared a secret about the car's
speed. While Jesse didn't catch it, Jeremy did.

"Sir, we can't find what's wrong," one of the mechanics, the younger one,
said.

The Doctor looked under the open hood. "If I may..."

"Of course, sir."

"It must be the cam sprocket of the gasket wheel."  The Doctor took out his
sonic screwdriver.

"My men let you keep that?"

The Doctor looked at him, almost offended. "No."  He reached down into
Bessie. "You see, that, there."

The mechanic, a long haired young type, looked inside over the Doctor's
shoulder. "Oh yeah. I do."

"What's that thing?"

"A fan belt, sir."

"Oh, so it is."  The Doctor turned the screwdriver, "There. Should be right
as rain now."  The Doctor stood up. "Funny expression, right as rain. I
mean what's so right about rain?"

"Yes, sir," the long haired youth said. "But if you're a farmer, you'd want
rain so right as your crops would grow. Rain would be a good thing."  He
smiled. The Brig looked at him. The smile dropped.

"True, true," the Doctor patted him on the back. "You're a tall one, aren't
you?"

"Yes, sir."

"It's all a matter of perspective. What's your name, sir?"

"Ross, sir."

"Ross. I knew a Ross once. Always meant to back and save him. Jesse..."

"Yeah?"

"Put that on the list."

"List, Doctor? What list?"

"My list of things to do. Set right," the Doctor told them.

"Are we going to take the long way round again to save another one of your
failed saves?"  Jesse asked.

The Doctor ignored him.  "Now, then Brigadier, you and I shall take
Bessie..."

"No, no," Jesse said, "Jeremy and I are going to take K9 and Bessie and go
to the beach."  Jesse jumped into the front seat. Jeremy sat next to him at
the wheel. "Jer, can you drive on the wrong side of the seat?"

"Yeah. The British do it, I can do it."

"Good."

"The cheek," the Brig said, "I'll show you the passage out of this garage."

Jeremy heard a beep. "Can't start. Oh, Jesse, it's because you haven't
fastened your Who safety belt."

"We're only going a few miles..."

"Safety first. I love your little head and your big crotch or is that the
other way around?"

"Gosh, when you put it like that."  Jesse fastened his seat belt.

"I bet it goes 40 miles a minute," Jeremy joked.

"40 miles an hour."

"This car won't go an hour," Jeremy answered him back.

The Brig looked across the car at the Doctor as he and the Doctor stood on
opposite sides. "Are they taking the mickey out?"

"Taking the piss out more like," the Doctor quipped.

Jesse resumed his mischievous face. "Atomic engines to battery."

"Atomic what? Eh, what's he talking about?"

"Check!"  Jeremy played along and raised an equally mischievous eyebrow to
Jesse.

"Turbines to speed!"

"Roger. Ready to move out."

The car tore out. A black area on the gray wall opened up and they headed
for it.

"Be careful with her."  The Doctor called after them as they drove off,
"Remember. Bessie is very sensitive."

"Yes, naught to 40 in 20 minutes."  Jesse called back to him.

"Appearances can be deceiving, Jesse!"  The Doctor yelled after them.

A flap opened up in the hillside. It went down. Bessie drove out and when
cleared, the trap door went back up to resume being part of the
hillside. Jeremy said, "We have to go home, collect K9 and a few things and
then we'll head out."

"It's a beautiful day but at this speed by the time we get home..."  Jesse
laughed and put his head on Jeremy's shoulder.

"What's this?"  Jeremy pulled a lever marked minimum inertia hyper
drive. The car sped up past Oheka Castle out onto the road and left nothing
but dust behind it. Jesse was thrown back to the seat but thought there
should have been more impact. "Gordon Bennett!"

"Wicked!"

They arrived at the house within five minutes. "No being thrown from our
seats as we stopped?"  Jesse wondered.

"I guess that's what it does."  Jeremy stared at the dashboard and then
jumped out of the seat and the car, "C'mon, it's still early. We can get to
the beach before the crowds. Let's get our gear and K9 and take off."

Jesse patted Bessie's dashboard. "Take off is just about right," he joked
and laughed.

The pair went in, stripped, informed K9, gathered two bags of beach
equipment, and strode outside toward Bessie, which was parked in the
driveway. In her own driveway and seeing this, Ms. Abbott screamed and
nearly fainted. They had forgotten to put on their bathing suits. As they
ran back to the house, Ms. Abbott came out of her pretend near-faint and
peered over her small car to watch their backsides retreat.  She completely
missed seeing the flying milk white mechanical dog land on Bessie's back
seat. When they emerged seconds later, Jesse saluted Ms. Abbott, who was
watering her lawn. He wore a green speedo. Jeremy wore a red one and it was
skimpier than even Jesse's. Abbott waved and shook her head in delight,
fantasizing.

Jeremy jumped into the driver's seat and took off as Jesse just made
contact with the seat. Driving down Deer Park Avenue, Bessie made quite a
sight.

"It's nice to see normal surroundings again," Jesse
noted. "McDonalds. Wendy's, Burger King. Gas stations. I'd forgotten how
much I love Earth."

As they drove down Deer Park Avenue past a sign that read NORTH BABYLON,
Jeremy looked at the drivers around him.

"Everyone's watching us. Should I put the hood up?"  Jeremy asked.

"Naw, let em gawp, let em gape. It's too nice a day to have the hood up and
besides...I like being looked at," Jesse puffed his chest out and patted
his abs.  He looked up, "You have to take Southern State..."

"Check the map," Jeremy told him.

"I don't have to."

"Check the map."

"Oh, okay," Jesse unrolled it. "Like I said, Southern State Parkway."

"Oh, there it is," Jeremy swerved Bessie to a new lane.

 He turned onto Southern State Expressway. K9 chirped up. "Information,
Masters. We are going the wrong way."

"No, we're not," Jesse said, "I know New York like the back of my hand."

"Negative. Check the back of your hand. We are heading West. This vehicle
should be heading East," K9 informed.

Jesse squinted at the map.

Jeremy took his eyes off the road, looking for an exit to turn around
from. He looked at the map.  "If you look at the map the right way up we
might eventually get there."

Jesse smiled. He turned the map the right way around. "Sorry. You'd think
this jalopy would have GPS."

"I have GPS."  K9 told them.

"Oh, look, it does, too," Jeremy hit the dashboard buttons.


Soon, enough Bessie was turned eastward bound and on Southern State. As
befitted summer, there were few cars on the road this early. Bessie drove
along to exit 40 Ocean Beaches and onto the Robert Moses Causeway. The wind
felt good in their hair but the windscreen kept the worst of it back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnGkLdx2ThY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y10WkRyExtg


"Say, that's Gilgo Beach."

Jesse looked up from the map. "Dildo beach."

Jeremy rolled his eyes.  "You're such a child."

"I know and you love it."  Jesse sidled up to Jeremy and rubbed his head
against his lover's shoulder.

"I know."

"That's where they found some of those bodies?"

"I think so," Jeremy told Jesse. "And we just passed Oak, Captree, a few
other beaches."

Jesse pointed left to Jeremy. "The furthest one. I heard it's a nude beach
all the way down and gay as well."

"Oh gay," Jeremy turned the wheel.

The car drove up to the registration box where a uniformed hottie stopped
them. "Registrated?"

"No," Jesse said.

"Yes," K9 said from the back.

"What was that?"  The teen hottie asked.

"Oh, computer..."  Jeremy started to say.

"...ized car," Jesse said. "We are registered. Uhm, look it up for me?"

The hottie winked at him. "Sure thing."  He went to the box. Jeremy looked
at Jesse. Jesse shrugged. Jeremy winked.  "Oh, you're with the Doctor?"

"Yeah..."  Jesse said slowly.

"Go on in."  The hottie ordered.

"You sure?"  Jeremy asked.

"Saved our asses more than once," the hottie told him.

"And you're not even a blond," Jeremy commented.

"What?"

"Nothing, just kidding. Thanks!"  Jeremy smiled and winked at him.

"Have a good one," the hottie told him.

Jeremy waved and drove off to the parking lot. There weren't a lot of cars
in the parking lot but a van was there and five surfers were getting out of
it. "Wow!"  Jesse noticed them all.

"They're straight," Jeremy said as he noticed a girl wrapped in an arm of
each surfer.

"Yeah. Until they see me," Jesse added.

"Yeah," Jeremy raised his eyebrows. "Are you gonna help or stare?"

"Stare," Jesse admitted. "No, I'll help."  He took a large bag that had his
beach chair in it.

"The tent's in that one," Jeremy told him.

"No, it's in me pants," Jesse joked.  "K9, you stay here..."

K9's head went down and he made a lowly sound.

Jeremy smiled. "Don't sulk, K9."

"Sulking is a human emotion from which I do not suffer."

"I know, K9. And I know you want to come with us. But we need you to guard
Bessie. I'm sure someone will want to touch her."

"Affirmative, Master."

"You can come next time. As soon as we figure out how to work Bessie's own
defenses," Jesse told him.

"Affirmative."

"Promise," Jesse held up his hand and two fingers.

"Means up yours in British terms."

"Oh does it?"  Jesse winked at Jeremy. "I didn't know that."

The boys walked past the main station and restaurant and onto a brief board
walk. At the end of it, they moved to the sand and made their way toward
the water to set up tent, chairs, and towels. "Let's go down further,"
Jesse nodded.

As they walked, a jogger and his girlfriend ran past them. They
stared. Jeremy looked down at his growing crotch. "Am I pointing in the
wrong direction?"

Jesse patted Jeremy's crotch.  "Woah. No, you're pointing just fine. Don't
mind them. As long as there are no kids on the beach, you're okay."

"Oh shit, I didn't think of that," Jeremy said.

"What the hell, it's the human body," Jesse told him.

"Yeah but still..."

"Think of this as Europe."

"Yeah, but it's not."

"Don't let it ruin the day."

"I won't. Maybe there won't be any kids the further we go."

"That's the idea."


At the UNIT base, the Doctor and the Brigadier entered his office
again. "Come on and sit down Brigadier."

"Why?"  The Brig sat in a big black chair across from his desk chair.

"The dream...it means more than you might think. I believe someone is
trying to give you some kind of warning. Or ...it might be something else."

"A trap?"

"Maybe. Let's start with Farmingdale."  The Doctor looked at him. "I think
we can get somewhere faster if I..."

"What tinker around in my mind, some?"

"You against it?"  The Doctor wrinkled up his nose.

"Oh, very well. I was going to suggest it anyway. Not that I like anyone
tinkering around in there anyway. I like it just the way it's arranged in
there, thank you very much."

"I'll be gentle with you, Alistair," the Doctor joked. "Now, come on and
sit quietly and relax."

"Do you want me to shut my eyes?"

"No. I want you to look into mine."

"Very well. Let's get this over with."

The Brig did as the Doctor asked. "My, my, my. I never noticed this
before."

"You found something already?"

"Yes. Yes!"

"Well out with it, man, what is it?"

"You've got the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. Next to Jesse, of
course."

The Brig raised a hand up. "This is a waste of time. I insist we stop."

"No, no, no. I'm just joking, Brigadier. But they are very nice."

"Doctor," the Brig warned.

"Okay, concentrate. Go back to Farmingdale. Your dream. Keep your eyes as
open as you can. Focus on my eyes. Look. Focus."

"I can't seem to."

"There's something...some evidence that your memories may have been
tampered with."

"By an alien?"

"Possibly. Whoever they are, they've covered their tracks quite well. I
almost didn't see those traces. Oh, they're very good."

"The Master?"

"Well, it would take someone of his immense skill to do what I think has
been done. Rivals even my skills."

"So how do we proceed or is this a dead end?"

"Let's try...this..."  The Doctor took out a fob watch and waved it back
and forth. "Focus on that. Does anything come to mind about Farmingdale?"

It took about ten minutes.

"There...is...an...add...ress."

"Let me have it."

"Let him have it."

Eventually, they drove there in a UNIT car. A Camaro. "You do go in style,
don't you, Brigadier?"

"Yes, age does have its privileges, Doctor."

"I always thought that was rank!"

"What's rank? I don't smell anything."

"I do."  The Doctor and the Brig walked up to a long rectangular, modern
building. The entire thing was dark glass. They couldn't see inside. "How
do you suppose we get inside? Past the door?"

"Well, you wouldn't hear of a full scale attack."

"Attack? We don't want to arouse a full alert. I mean from what you said
there might be other places besides this one, like this one, involved."

"Montauk's been shut down. There's no one there."

"Are you sure?"

"I had it searched a year ago. There was nothing there. No one. Completely
empty."

"Hello, sir," an American man who walked out of the building nodded to
them. The Doctor pointed to himself. The Brig nodded to the man.  "Going
in?"

"Yes, yes, uhm..."

"Jenkins, sir. I know I'm just one of the little people, sir."

"Really?"  The Doctor looked at the man's height and took out his sonic
screwdriver. "You're 5'11, same size as one of my friends. That's not
little."

"Sir?"

"No, Jenkins. I'm just bad with names and my friend here...well, he's quite
the Joker."

"Yes, sir."  Jenkins, a light haired brunette man in a suit and tie, held
the door open for them. They entered. Before he closed the door, Jenkins
said, "Sir, just so you know, the weather control machine is ready for a
fourth test."

"It is?"

"Yes. This time we won't almost drown a whole family or fry a father on a
picnic."

In the hallway, as the Brig waved good bye to Jenkins from the glass door
that Jenkins could not see into, he asked, "I should have arrested him
there and then. What's going on here, Doctor?"

"I don't know. If you arrested him, we'd never find out. It'd alert
everyone else in here. I take it they're ---at least partially behind all
the strange events happening, including several deaths..."

"Deaths? Murders."

"Oh, discussing our canteen again? Hello, Brigadier," a woman passed
by. "That memo about the alien tech went out last week."

"Oh, yes. Thank you, thank you."

"I know you have other balls rolling..."

"You do?"  The Doctor looked down at the Brig's pants.

"...but it is good to see you here again, sir."

"Yes, you, too, Miss..."

"Oh, you great teaser. I'm always here. Every day."  The blond woman wore a
lab coat and had her hair up in a bun. She nodded. "Work to do. See you in
the canteen as usual?"

"You do know he's married?"  The Doctor rounded behind her.

"Oh, he and I aren't...we're just friends, uhm..."

"Doctor, actually..."  the Doctor put his hand out.

"Doctor who?"

"Scientific advisor?"

"Oh. Oh, I guess," she put her hand out and shook it, "Vera. Vera Miles."

"Vera Miles? Were you in Psycho?"

"Don't mind him, he's the original teaser."

"Yes, some even call me the joker. A joker."

"Yes...I'm sure..."  Vera walked away slowly and kept watching the Doctor
suspiciously.  "Don't forget the last teleportation tests are ready to
send."

"Yes, Ms. Miles. I'll read about it in your report."

Others passed by and nodded or waved to the Brig. "They all know me."

"Yes, how nice."

"How?"

"You tell me. Is this some kind of a trap, Brigadier?"

"Doctor, I don't think I like that question. Are you implying that I am
behind all this?"

"No," the Doctor pointed to a door in the hallway. "But you must have made
quite an impression."  He tapped his knuckles on the wood of the door.

The Brig turned. He hadn't realized that as they spoke and walked, they
approached a series of offices in the hallway. The door the Doctor tapped
on had a plaque attached to it. It read, "Brigadier Sir Alistair Gordon
Lethbridge-Stewart, CMG CBE DSO: Commander in Charge of Project."

"You're the one in charge, Brigadier..."

Shocked face on the Brig.

Zoom in on the plaque.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UEb4YKYBFs


Post Credits sequence:

Two hot blond boys walking along the beach. 90 percent naked. One puts on
shades. Binoculars watching them. Boys walking. Surf sound as the water
hits the sand. Calming. Gentle breeze. Summer sun. Blue sky. Glistening
abs. Bare feet.


ALTERNATE SCENE: (I was going to introduce a telepathic cat in this story
that the Doctor already had. It once featured in a fan fiction series I did
with the 6th Doctor, Peri, Rogeer (a chimney sweep), and a Native American
named Kiko but I thought it just didn't feel right here and slowed things
down a lot).

"You!"  Jesse pointed at him.  "We..."  he pointed to himself and
Jeremy. "...are on holiday."

"Yes..but I wanted to take you both swimming on Florana--- where the very
bubbles of the water keep you afloat and..."

"Yeah, yeah," mocked Jeremy. "And where every time you come back from
there, you feel a hundred years younger."

"You've been younger," Jesse spat out, "And younger and younger and it
almost killed you."

The Doctor cleared his throat. "There's more to it than I've told you."

"We don't want to hear as we'll never see it."  Jesse started to pet a
multi but light colored cat that came up to him. It purred.  "This yours?"

"Yes, Simone, meet Jesse and Jeremy. Jesse and Jeremy meet Simone. Now..."

"Greetings. You smell good."

"What the fuck was that?"  Jesse asked.

"Yeah, I heard it, too."

"Simone's somewhat telepathic."

"Somewhat?"  Simone telepathed. "I'm fully. It's my way of
communicating. Your leg feels very good."

"Thanks," Jesse patted her head.

The Doctor said, "Now, about Florana..."

"I said I don't want to hear."

Jeremy shrugged. "I do..."  Jesse stared at him. Jeremy countered his stare
with, "Well, I do. He usually takes us to the places the describes."

"Thank you, Jeremy."

"Eventually."

"Thanks a bunch."

Jesse added, "Yeah and while we're there we get attacked by either
Sontarans or some Raston Robot Warrior. Florana probably has its version of
the Loch Ness Monster only it'll be more ferocious, want to eat us, and
then shit us out."

Simone telepathed, "Don't be so vulgar."

"Oh, another one to tell me how to talk."

"You can be as you like."

It's not been spoiled yet."  He does say the air is like a magic potion and
the water is like the elixir of youth

END OF ALTERNATE SCENE



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