Date: Sun, 3 Jan 2010 02:23:17 +1100
From: Bradley Danaher <bradmikedan@hotmail.com>
Subject: Full Moon: Chapter 2

I write because I enjoy creating people and stories, and because I enjoy
hearing from readers. If you have any comments or would just like to say
hey, please feel free to E-mail me at bradmikedan@hotmail.com or tweet
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I promise I won't bite.

Thanks to all the people who've written to me already with your
encouragement or just to say you read the story and liked it! I really
appreciate it, and take the time to reply to each and every single one of
you. Thanks especially to those of you who gave me a kick up the arse to
finish the story quicker!

[Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga, New Moon, Eclipse and all of the
characters in this story remain the authorial property of Stephenie
Meyer. This is simply a work of fan fiction. The Quileutes are also a real-
life tribe of Native Americans, and I do not profess to know anything
about their legends or traditions. The Quileute characters in this story
are inspired by Stephenie Meyer's representations, and do not in any way
represent any people, living or dead.]

This second installment takes place simultaneously with the events of
Eclipse, up to Chapter 15, from Jacob's point of view.

=========================================================
Full Moon
2. If I'd died right then, I would've said it was enough.
=========================================================

  "Two pair, aces high. Read 'em and weep!"
  Embry smacked his cards down and smirked at us. "You know what
that means."
  A collective groan went up from the table. One by one, the guys got up
and shrugged off an item of clothing. Jared gave up his T-shirt, which
only brought him back to his usual state of dress. Quil had made the
mistake of showing up already shirtless, and, after losing both his shoes,
was now down to socks and a pair of cut-off sweats. He went for the
socks, setting one on the table as proof.
  "...And the other one?" Embry prodded.
  "I thought we agreed that socks and shoes were one each?" Jared
retorted.
  "Fine, whatever. Paul! Hang on; I want those to come off slow."
  Paul had suffered a losing streak early in the game and was down to his
boxer shorts... which he'd just lost. He shot Embry a death glare across
the table. Embry held his hands up in surrender, and laughed.
  "Alright man, chill!" he said as he gathered the cards up, "But
remember - loser belongs to the winner for the rest of the night." Paul
muttered something under his breath and yanked off his shorts, then sat
back down. He knew that if he lost another hand, it was all over.

  I'd already shucked off my sweats, and threw them to Embry, who was
accumulating an impressive pile of our gambled clothes. I wasn't doing
too badly; I still had my socks, boxer briefs, and T-shirt, as well as a shoe
I'd won off Quil earlier on. I'd figured that, since we were sitting down, it
was better that the sweats went first. Not that it mattered. Being
shirtless was pretty much normal for me now, and being naked around
these guys was like being naked when you shower. It was just something
that came naturally, part of life as a werewolf, and none of us even
thought twice about it.
  Nor did we worry about the price of losing. There was no point in us
pretending that we didn't like the idea of ending up as someone's slave
for the night. There would be nowhere to hide our desires once we
phased, once we could see each others' minds like our own. We knew
each other's deepest, darkest secrets, and we all knew that there wasn't
one of us who hadn't jerked one out over another guy in the pack. In
fact, I was almost jealous that Paul was probably going to lose. I wouldn't
have minded a few hours in Embry's servitude.

  Quil won the next round, but didn't get a chance to get some dignity
back. Paul was out of clothes to hand over, and that meant he lost.
Game over. Embry, with the massive pile of clothes in front of him, was
clearly the winner.
  "Anytime you're ready, big boy," he said, standing up and stretching.
  "Don't get too ahead of yourself, Call. Would hate to see you jizz your
pants before you even get a chance to take them off," Paul taunted. Their
animosity had simmered down since Paul learnt to humble himself now
that he was no longer Beta.
  Embry laughed. "Don't worry; I'm planning on making the most of
tonight. It's your ass that I'm concerned about."
  Sam was on the way out of his bedroom, and the two boys had to
squeeze past his massive frame to get in.
  "Hey, you boys play nice, okay?" he yelled back through the closed
door, "You know Emily doesn't like it when we break the furniture."
  Sam's fiancée Emily was on one of her regular trips to the Makah
reservation, visiting her family. Since we more or less lived at Sam's even
when she was here, the only difference when she was gone was that we
didn't have to cover up for her sake. At the start, I'd wondered how much
Emily knew about all this. I found the answer in Sam's thoughts. She'd
asked him how much of the legends were true and, not being able to
keep any secrets from her, Sam told her about what we werewolves
tended to do in our free time. Funnily enough, it hardly upset her. Sam
explained that we had two different appetites completely - one for our
partners, and one for our pack. They were two separate things, like
having two people living in your head, and since no amount of sex with
Emily was going to satisfy Sam's craving for his wolf-brothers, she didn't
stress too much about it. Boys will be boys, she'd said.

  Sam came over and plopped down next to me on the couch. We sat
there, watching the ads for toothpaste and sitcoms and soft drink. My
eyes flicked between the TV and his face. He was way too quiet.
  "Alright, what do you want?" I asked, maybe a tad accusingly.
  "What?"
  "You come over here, then don't say anything... when you do that, it
means you want something."
  "I can't just spend a little time with my favorite Beta?" he grinned, and
put his arm around my shoulders.
  "I'm your only Beta," I pointed out.
  "That's right... and that is why I'd like you to take care of this
personally for me." I knew it!
  I turned to glare at him. He was still pulling a shit-eating grin, his teeth
almost glowing in contrast to his dark complexion. The familiar aroma of
damp earth and smoke rose off his russet skin, sending a torrent of
memories through my head. I was never sure if it was just because he
was Alpha, or because I was inexplicably drawn to him in some other
way, but it was always hard to say no to Sam. I felt the forced scowl melt
off my face.
  "Tell me what I have to do," I sighed in defeat.
  "Billy and Mr. Ateara are calling a council meeting. Well, okay, council
meeting is a bit formal. It's more of a bonfire-type-thing. The point of it is
so Billy can tell The Legends to everyone who needs to hear it in one go.
So, naturally, we're all going to be there. It'll be Quil's first time listening
to the stories in full. Sue Clearwater will be there, since she's taken
Harry's place on the council," his voice turned sad and quiet at the
mention of Harry's name, "and I've asked Jared if he'd like to invite Kim,
since I think she has a right to know, and so that leaves Leah and Seth."

  That took me by surprise. The Clearwater kids had nothing to do with
the council or the wolves.
  "Why Leah and Seth?" I asked.
  "Leah needs to know. Sue won't stay in the council forever; it's hard on
her so soon after losing Harry. Leah is her support, and... well... after
how I treated Leah, I think it's only fair."
  I knew this was a touchy subject for him, so I wasn't sure how to
respond. He sensed this.
  "If you want, I'll ask Leah to come, and you ask Seth," Sam offered.
  "Still, why me?"
  "Because you're my second!" he said, raising his voice. "I know you
don't want to, but sometimes you have to accept some responsibility
around here, Jacob. And Seth looks up to you so much. You're already
like a big brother to him."
  He didn't need to remind me. Seth was like a puppy, tagging at my
heels and always wanting to see what I was up to. No, worse than a
puppy. The mouth on him was unstoppable when he started asking
questions. Annoying was too strong a word, but he definitely had the
capacity to get on my nerves.
  "And I'm pretty sure he's on his way to joining us," Sam continued. I
looked at him, surprised.
  "He's getting taller, filling out a bit more. Kind of reminds me of you
when you were his age, Jake," he teased, "and he's a good looking little
guy too. Anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if he's one of us within the next
couple of months, and I want to make sure he's at least mildly prepared
for it. Don't want him getting too freaked out, you know?"
  I winced at the memory of my own first encounter with the pack.
Making me run for my life hadn't exactly been the nicest way to welcome
me into my new family.
  "So what do you want me to say to him?" I asked.
  "Whatever you feel you need to. Be honest with him; answer any
questions he has truthfully. And he'll be hearing it all at the bonfire
anyway." How could I say no to Sam? All I could do was nod.

  I kept my hands shoved in the pockets of my jeans as I cleared the
three steps up onto the Clearwater's porch in one stride. It was past
dinnertime, and the lights were on inside, so I was sure they were all in.
A commentator's voice on the TV and the smell of something baking
wafted out of the house. Not things a normal human's senses would be
able to pick up, but I never said I was normal. Alright, time to get this
over with. I knocked on the door. There was the sound of a chair
dragging on the wooden floorboards. I cleared my throat.
  Sue answered the door a moment later.
  "Oh," she gasped, "Hello Jacob. What are you doing here at this hour?
Is everything all right? Does Billy need anything?" She flicked the porch
light on. Her hair fell over her shoulders in waterfalls the color of
midnight, framing her gentle face. Her eyes were just as dark, strong, but
not uncompromising. Even now, standing here on the porch of her little
house, in an apron flushed with bright yellow flowers, she carried all the
dignity, grace and power of an Elder Woman of our tribe.
  I found myself smiling. Sue was an amazing woman, and I'd always
wished I had a mom like her.
  "Everything's fine, thanks. I hope I'm not interrupting your dinner... I
actually came to talk to Seth."
  "No, we've had dinner. Seth's just watching TV. He'll be so happy to see
you! Would you like to come in?"
  "It's okay, I'll wait out here."
  "I'll just get him for you then," she beamed at me.
  "Sure, sure."

  I busied myself by taking a sudden, avid interest in the planter box on
the porch, until Seth appeared in the narrow doorway.
  "Jake!" he yelled in excitement, "'sup, bro?"
  "Not much, you?" I realized he'd gone in for a high five, but I still had
my hands in my pockets. He retracted his hand.
  "Just watching some B-ball; you wanna come in and chill for a bit?"
  "Um, no... I was actually hoping we could talk?" Damn that sounded
awkward.
  "Ok, sure. Whatever's cool," he said, glancing down at his feet and
shuffling from side to side.
  "Seth! In or out? You're letting the heat out!" Sue called from inside.
  He looked back up for an answer. I jerked my head towards the road
behind me.
  An eager smile broke across Seth's face, and he nodded quickly.
"Lemme just get my jacket." He shut the door behind him, leaving me
standing in the small pool of dim yellow light, watching the little flying
bugs that had already started to gather around the lamp above.
  When he opened the door again, he was dressed in a heavy parka.
  "See you later, mom!" he called behind him.
  "Jacob, I trust you boys won't be out too late," Sue warned.
  "No, we won't, I promise. 'Night, Sue!"

  We walked down towards First Beach, chatting as we went along. It
must've been a cold night, the way Seth was shivering. I'd put on a light
jacket for the sake of looking normal, but even just under that I was
boiling. The nearly-full moon hung big and bloated in the sky over the
seething black water, making a silver carpet all the way out to the
horizon. To my eyes, it might as well have been broad daylight. I could
see each distant wave as they crashed against the rock in the middle of
the bay. The moonlight turned the wet pebbles into dazzling gems, which
was actually kind of pretty. As we cleared the tree line and walked out
into the open, the full brunt of the icy wind hit us. I welcomed the relief
from the heat trapped under my clothes, but Seth was clearly not as
comfortable. There was a jumble of driftwood over to our left, bleached so
white by the salt that they looked like the ancient, mangled bones of
some sea monster. We sat down there. It was close enough to the trees
that they broke the wind, but with all the splendor of the beach
stretching away for a mile on either side
  "... And that's why Leah thinks I shouldn't go to Seattle this weekend."
Seth finished. For the moment, at least. He'd stopped shivering, too. All
the exercise his mouth was getting must've warmed him up.
  "Uh-huh," I responded, and barely managed to stifle a yawn.
  "What do you think? You know, about the murders and stuff happening
there? I mean, if something like that ever started happening in here in La
Push, Sam wouldn't let anyone get away with it, right? You guys would
hunt the bastard down so fast, and you'd make him pay, 'cos that's what
you guys do... you protect the tribe and stuff."
  That caught my attention.
  "What do you mean, we'd hunt him down?" I tried not to look too
shocked by the accuracy of his statement.
  "Like, I dunno, you'd do all sorts of cool vigilante stuff, like night patrols
and raids, and you'd interrogate suspects until you guys caught him."
  I chuckled.
  "Sure, sure. And then Chief Swan will come over and shake Sam's hand
and give him a medal for good citizenship."
  "Well... yeah. Isn't that what The Protectors are about?" he reminded
me.
  I raised a speculative eyebrow.
  "The Protectors? Where'd you get that from?"
  "I made it up. Something your dad said to my mom, 'they're the
protectors of this tribe now,' or something like that. Why? Do you like it?
You think you guys will use it?"
  "No thanks," I replied, "I don't think we're really after a 'team name'
right now."
  He was about to start up again, but I cut him off before he could.
  "Listen Seth... the reason why I wanted to talk to you tonight," I said,
turning a pebble over and over between my fingers, "is kind of about
that."
  He was silent, for once. I went on.
  "Sam thinks it's time we let you in on our secret."
  "No. WAY!" he leapt up off the log. If he grinned any wider, I would've
had to take him to the hospital for stitches to his face. "So when do I
join? Is there a secret meeting? Do I have to swear on anything?"
  "We're werewolves," I blurted out.
  That shut him up.
  "Wh... what?" he stammered.
  "Were-wolves," I broke it into two syllables in the hope that it'd get
through his thick skull, "we can turn into wolves when... Ah, you've
heard the stories, Seth. Don't make me repeat them."
  "You've gotta be kidding."
  "I'm not joking, there's nothing funny about this..."
  "This is some kind of test, right? To see if I'm too much of a kid to join
you guys?"
  "What? That's absurd! Why would we..."
  "... And, and, If I fall for it, then I'm still too young, but I didn't, so..."
  "Seth, can you shut up for two fucking seconds?!" I roared.
  My entire body was shaking. I glanced down at my hands, and for a
moment, they blurred out of shape. I clenched them into fists. Deep
breath, Jake. Last thing you want to do is put the boy in danger.
  He must've seen my almost-phase.
  "Okay," he gulped, "I believe you."

  I told Seth everything. Well, everything he needed to know. I did as Sam
asked, and answered all his questions honestly. How we knew he was
going to become one of us, what would start happening to him -
explained to him the insane growth spurt that had already started,
warned him about the constant high temperature. I covered the
initiation, and the reason behind it. It wasn't easy to be subtle about it,
but it helped that he wasn't awkward about the subject, and didn't seem
grossed out at all about what he'd have to do. There was even a tiny
gleam in his eye as he took it all in. I figured that, being fourteen like he
was, there wasn't any kind of sex he wouldn't be interested in.
  I decided to leave out the details of the second, "order-of-the-pack"
initiation, since this was probably enough for him to come to terms with
in one night. He stared straight out at the sea, his face serious and full of
concentration as he pondered what I'd told him. I could see that this was
a profound shift in his world. For starters, he was speechless.
  "So...? What do you think?"
  "It's so... cool," he said, grinning slightly.
  "Yeah?" I sighed in relief, "that's good. I wasn't sure how you'd react."
  "Why? What did you think when you... changed for the first time?"
  "Phased. We call it 'phasing'. And I was pretty freaked out. Almost
pissed my pants the first time I saw the wolves coming at me," I laughed,
"probably why Sam's now making me tell you ahead of time."
  Seth nodded somberly. His teeth were chattering again, and he shoved
his hands under his arms.
  "Are you cold?" I asked. Dumb question. He'd been cold all night. But
for some reason, I felt like I should be looking after him now.
  "Yeah. Aren't you?" he replied.
  "No, not at all," I said, "running a constant temperature, remember?"
  "Lucky."
  "Here," I shrugged my windcheater off, and handed it to him. It was a
relief to be out of that thing.
  "Thanks." It was big enough that it fit over his parka. He sniffed at the
collar. "It smells like you."

  We sat for a little while more, hardly saying anything, just staring out at
the waves and the stars, the vastness of the North Pacific Ocean, and of
the universe above. How small we were, here on a rocky beach at the
edge of all this nothingness. I wondered if we were the only resistance to
the bloodsucking menace on this whole planet, the handful of us. I
couldn't help but feel lonely, on the one hand, but I'd never felt more
important at the same time. We were the only ones able to make a
difference and protect people, the only ones with the ability to fight back.
The thought of Seth being made to bear this burden at such a young age,
on top of his father's death, made me hate those filthy leeches even more.
  The moon was now almost touching the black water, hovering at the
end of that silver pathway that led off into the horizon. Seth must've
gotten tired. He slumped onto me, resting his head on my shoulder.
  "You're really warm," he mumbled.
  "Yeah," I said uneasily, "We werewolves tend to be warm like that."
  His fingers closed around my wrist, then began working along my arm,
gripping my muscles, tracing the lines each vein made under my skin.
What the hell was he up to?
  "Shit, Jake, you're freakin' ripped!" he pulled the sleeve of my T-shirt up
over my shoulder and squeezed my upper arm, "I mean... I knew you
guys had big muscles, but this is really impressive. You could be, like, in
competitions and stuff!"
  I chuckled. I had to admit, he had a certain innocent charm about him
that was hard to resist. I thought about my brothers, and wondered if I
would become as attached to Seth in time, when he became one of us? It
was easy to see how he could definitely grow on me. I decided to flex for
him.
  "Whoa," he gasped, prodding at my bicep, "Am I gonna get muscles like
yours?"
  I was about answer when he lifted my shirt and placed his icy hand on
my stomach.
  "Killer abs, man! Being a werewolf must be so awesome!"
  His hand was warming against my skin, which was a good thing, as he
started moving upwards, under my shirt towards my chest. Shit, was he
actually trying to feel me up?
  "I wanna get a proper look," he said. My shirt was already bunched
under my chin, and he stretched it over my head. A voice deep in the
back of my brain, behind all the reasonable bits, in the part that was
always primal and hungry, told me to just go with it, to see where this
went. That instinct had never been wrong before, not when I was with my
brothers. So I listened.
  Seth took a step back.
  "Lookin' good, Jake!" he grinned.
  He was on me again before I could react, leaning his body into mine as
he continued his exploration of my torso. His touch was feather-soft,
tracing hesitantly across my skin as though it was laced with electricity. I
became entranced in watching his boyish face, lit up by his look of awe.
The wide, brown circles of his eyes seemed to have grown even wider in
the moonlight, full of wonder and admiration. His fingertips trailed
through the light hair below my navel, then slid under my jeans.

  "Whoa, Seth! Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I exclaimed, jerking
backwards and nearly falling off the smooth log.
  "Sorry... I just thought that maybe..." he trailed off, his eyes drifting off
to the pebbly ground at our feet.
  "Maybe... what?"
  "I mean, you said you do this sort of stuff all the time with the other
guys, right?"
  Oh fuck. He doesn't mean... no, I've got to be imagining things.
  "What kind of stuff?" I feigned innocence.
  His hand went straight for my package, grabbing it, balls and all, and
gave it a slight squeeze. A jolt ran through my entire body, and Seth,
feeling me tense, shot me the most radiant grin I've ever seen. I was
already half-hard and there was no way he didn't feel it through the
fabric. My hand had jerked out to catch his, and our fingers were slowly
intertwining. Suddenly there was no need for words, and his quick,
nimble hands undid the five buttons of my fly. He pulled the heavy
denim down around my knees, and then tentatively danced his fingers
across the bulge in my boxer briefs. In a second, they were around my
knees as well, and my growing hard-on slapped back onto my stomach.
  "Jake, you're huge!"
  I must've blushed then, because I wasn't really used to people
commenting on the size of my cock. The only ones who ever saw it were
my pack-brothers, and to them it was nothing remarkable. And thanks
to Paul, the guys at school had long since learnt to not even glance in the
direction of anyone in Sam's gang in the showers.

  Seth traced a finger along the underside of my shaft. The look on his
face was so absorbed, his full lips parted just slightly. I could feel his
breath on my skin, a warm jet of air breaking the cold ocean wind. I'd
never felt so exposed, bare-chested, my pants around my knees, with
Seth's face inches away from my dick, and nothing but the black expanse
of the open ocean beyond. I closed my eyes and felt my knees weaken
under his touch, at the same time as the warm pre-cum started rolling
down my skin. He touched something to the sticky stream - his finger?
No, it was warmer and wetter. His tongue, sweet Jesus, just a fraction of
an inch from my throbbing meat. I couldn't stand his teasing much
longer. My dick jumped with every heartbeat, begging for a hand, a
mouth, anything.
  "Jake horny?"
  I opened my eyes and frowned at him.
  "No, Jake's ready to explode," I replied in a low growl.
  He closed his fingers around my pole, and the breath whooshed out of
me, like I'd been winded by a kick to the stomach. What was that? I'd
done this a hundred times before, with Sam, Jared, Embry, Quil. It'd
never felt like this. Why now?
  Seth started to stroke me slowly, the wide-eyed look of awe never
leaving his face. He worked over my hard-on with both hands now, still
not entirely sure what he was doing, making it up as he went along. It
didn't matter. He had me panting in a matter of minutes, sweat beading
on my temples. His pace increased, and he made the most of both hands,
rolling my nuts around, twisting each fist in a different direction as he
pumped them along my shaft. I wondered if this was how he jacked off,
normally. The image of him beating off, and now making me cum the
same way, sent my mind reeling. A bolt of electricity shot up my spine
from the base of my cock, tingling across my skin to my fingertips. I was
getting close.

  He started biting his lip; frustrated, maybe, that he wasn't reaching his
goal. I touched his shoulder reassuringly, letting him know that he was
doing great. That I was at the edge. He got the message. He stroked
faster, twisting his fists as they worked along the full length of my pole,
over the head, down to my aching, boiling balls. I heard moaning and
realized it was me, and then started freaking out that someone might see
or hear us. No, no one would. With my hearing, I would hear them
crunching down the beach half a mile away. Seth wasn't worried at all
that we might get caught. All he wanted was to make this happen, to get
me off. Well, it was working.
  "Seth... Auuugghh!" I didn't get to finish. He'd shoved his mouth down
suddenly, taking a good half of me into him. The warm, wet feeling where
only cold air had been before was indescribable. I could only cry out in
release as I erupted into his mouth. I fired two blasts of my hot load
straight onto his hungry, waiting tongue before he pulled off me with a
start. I guess cum wasn't really his thing. He kept jacking me though; the
fast, twisting strokes that brought me here cranked shot after shot out of
me, drenching my chest, his hands, running down my legs. I was
shaking all over, like I was about to phase; only I knew there was no
danger of that. Finally, I stopped, and Seth let my cock slap back onto
my abs. I was really out of breath.
  He was looking at his hand in amazement.
  "It's really warm," he said.
  I nearly burst out laughing. After that, was that all he had to say? He
stuck a cum-covered finger in his mouth like he was licking batter off a
spoon. His screwed his face up a bit, and I couldn't help but smile.
Anyway, I wasn't sure how good it was for him to be swallowing werewolf
cum before the official initiation, so I stripped the T-shirt off my
shoulders and threw it to him. He caught it without a word.

  "You ok?" I asked him after he was done cleaning himself off, and had
thrown me back the T-shirt so I could.
  "Yeah," he replied. He wasn't talking, and I was getting worried.
  "That's it, just 'yeah'? After all that? Seth, that felt fucking amazing! I've
never..."
  And then he kissed me.
  His tongue, still carrying the faint taste of my jizz, drove into my mouth.
I was shaking again, and so was he now. The kiss was forceful, eager,
making up for his lack of experience. I wrapped my arms around him, to
steady him, to steady myself, and pulled our bodies closer. We were both
panting through our noses, not wanting to tear our lips apart. Up close, I
could take in all of his scent. The clean smell of soap, from the shower
he'd had this afternoon; a faint aroma of the cookies that were baking at
his house when he left. And underneath that, his personal scent, crystal
clear like fresh rain on new leaves, or cool spring water running across a
mossy stream bed, blended with my own scent from the jacket that he
wore.
  He smelled and sounded so sexy that I was half-hard and pre-cumming
again. It was only as we broke apart that I realized I wanted this to last
forever, the feeling of his cool lips on mine.
  "Jake, you scared me when you started going off... I didn't know what
to expect. It was kinda gross at first, the taste, I mean... then the second
time, it wasn't so bad."
  "You get used to it, trust me," I grinned at him, "but that was awesome,
Seth. That felt so good! No one's ever made me shake like that before. I
feel bad though... that you didn't... you know."
  "S'okay," he said, "I'm kinda feeling too cold for that."

  He helped me clean up the remaining mess on my body with my T-shirt,
though most of it had ended up on my jacket anyway when we kissed. I
balled my soiled T-shirt up and tucked it into the waistband of my jeans,
putting the jacket back on instead for the walk back to town. The moon
had set long ago, and I'd promised Sue we wouldn't be out too late. We
didn't say much as we left our driftwood bench, the beach, the relentless
roar of the black waves behind us. Seth curled his arm around my waist,
leaning into me for warmth, and I unconsciously put mine around his
shoulder. A short distance down the path, he started yawning, and I was
overcome by the urge to rough up his hair. Everything about him was
designed to lure me in, I thought. Was I really falling for him?
  I tried to picture the Seth I remembered, before the events of tonight
transformed him in my eyes. He'd always been cute, his build lean and
athletic, designed for agility and speed. Just recently, I'd been taking
more notice of him since Billy and I had been spending more time with
Sue's family. He'd squared out a bit, put a bit of muscle on, but hadn't
lost the boyish features, or those irresistible puppy-dog eyes, only the
long hair that used to frame them.
  "I've been meaning to ask, Seth," I said as I absentmindedly stroked the
hair behind his ear, "why'd you cut your hair short?"
  He was quiet for a moment, and then looked up at me.
  "You really wanna know?"
  "Yeah, if you don't mind me asking," for a second I thought it might
have something to do with the loss of his father, and regretted asking.
  "I did it 'cos you cut your hair short. I thought it looked cool. Mom
wasn't very happy with me."
  I was speechless. Did he really look up to me that much? I knew that
whenever our families were together, he was practically my shadow; he'd
follow me around, ask way too many questions, and generally make
himself an annoyance in the way a little brother might have. But this
sounded like something else, like he thought of me as a mentor or a role
model or something. I was confused, and fumbled for the right response.
  "You really did that because of me?" we were coming within sight of his
house now.
  "Well, yeah. I love you, Jake."

  And there it was. My heart skipped a beat, and when it started up again
it was slamming like I had sprinted down the road. My palms were
sweating inside my shaking fists, and I realized I was a second away from
phasing. Not out of anger, but out of fear and shock. My instincts were
telling me to run for it. He noticed, and pulled himself away from me,
eyes wide with terror. I didn't want him to be afraid of me, I really didn't.
But... fuck! Why'd he have to drop something like that on me? How did
he expect me to react? I sucked in slow breaths through clenched teeth.
  "It's okay," I said, regaining control, "I'm not going to hurt you,"
  He was standing a few feet away from me now, looking more like a
scared little boy than ever.
  "Come here," I said, pulling him to me. I held his head against my chest
and stroked his silky-soft hair. His breaths were still quick, anxious, but
the thumping of his heart was slowing down.
  "You're not mad?" he whimpered.
  "No," I sighed, "why would I be? Just... don't go dropping bombs like
that on me out of nowhere, ok?"
  He nodded, burying his face in my chest.
  "I..." shit, I couldn't believe I was actually saying this to him, "I really
like you too."
  His eyes flew up to meet mine and it was like dawn had broken. A wide
grin lit up his face - the first golden rays of the sun breaking through the
clouds. His arms were around me in a flash, and boy, for a little guy, he
was strong. He squeezed me tight, and I realized his transformation
must've already begun. Supernatural strength - check.
  "Wait, you only said you 'really liked' me," he said, sounding a little
uncertain, "how much do you 'really like' me?"
  I paused, and my hesitation registered in his expression. I didn't want
to hurt him. Didn't want to offer him any promises I couldn't keep. There
was still Bella to think about. I hadn't spoken to her in over a month, but
even after all she'd done, didn't I still have feelings for her? If her
bloodsucker ever left her again, I wanted to be right there to pick up the
pieces. And then imprinting! Shit! As Sam proved to us all; no matter
how much you say you love someone, as soon as you imprint on
someone else, that other love becomes nothing. There will be nothing you
can do for that person but feel sorry for them, and wish you'd never put
them in a position where you could hurt them in the first place.

  Staring into Seth's waiting eyes; I realized I didn't have a simple answer
for him. The seconds ticked on. A corner of his lips began to tremble. The
truth, I reminded myself, Sam said to tell him the truth.
  "I have to be honest, Seth, I've never thought about you like that before.
But tonight... you really opened my eyes. Something you did or
something you said... it's changed how I look at you. And seeing you
now, I can't imagine a more wonderful guy in the world. I can't remember
feeling like this about anyone else. I've never wanted anyone like I want
you. Then when you said you wanted me too, I couldn't believe it! It was
like I was being offered more than I ever deserved. Because if I ever hurt
you like Sam hurt your sister..." my voice caught in my throat.
  He scanned my face.
  "Wow, you really mean it," he said softly.
  "Yeah, I mean it."
  "Then I know you won't do that to me," he said, satisfied.
  "Seth, I can't promise something like that. It's... well, it's now how
things work," I didn't want to go into it right now. Sam's memories were
too vivid, too clear in my head, and I was already choking up.
  "I'm willing to take the chance." He pressed his hand against my chest,
over my heart, and suddenly he seemed older, so much more mature
than the boy who greeted me at the door just a couple of hours ago. I fell,
headlong, spiraling, into his deep brown eyes, and saw the absolute faith
he had in me. The idea that I might one day break his heart was
unthinkable to him. From the way he looked at me, he must've thought I
was infallible, perfect. And if I ever shattered that image... I caught a
mere glimpse of the damage I could do to him, if I ever broke that trust.
But his gaze was so full of conviction that this would work, not maybe,
but for sure.
  It was that optimism that won me over in the end. He was so ready to
put his heart in my hands, so sure. To him, he wasn't taking a gamble.
He knew. Who was I kidding; I couldn't stop falling for him even if my life
depended on it.

  We walked the short distance to his porch, hand in hand. I fought hard
against all the doubts in my mind. Not doubting any of my feelings for
him, no, there was no question about those. And if it meant tearing the
werewolf out of me so that I would never imprint, never want anyone
else, never hurt him, I would find a way to do it. Ironically, I hadn't felt
this human in a long time. It took his clear, simplified view of the world
to remind me that, for too long now, I'd been complicating things for
myself. Putting up walls to keep the people I loved from getting drawn
into this nightmare of freaks and monsters that I now inhabited, where
any wrong decision could be a death sentence. Wasn't this enough? Me
and him, here on his porch, and all that had happened tonight. What
else really mattered, if this moment was perfect? The past was gone,
unchangeable. The future was a blur, not even so much as a promise.
Here at least, I told myself, feeling his cool hand on mine, there was some
future to look forward to.
  "So, uh, what now?" he asked.
  "I think you'd better get inside," I said, indicating the door, "your mom
must be getting worried."
  "Ok. You sure you don't wanna come in?"
  "No, I should get going," I said, "I need to let this settle into my brain,
you know?"
  He nodded understandingly.
  "I'll talk to you tomorrow," I assured him.
  He turned for the door, and had his hand on the knob, before he spun
back around. Suddenly he was back in front of me, reaching up on the
tips of his toes, his lips brushing against mine.
  "'Night," he said.
  "'Night, Seth,"
  "Oh, and Jake?" he leaned into my ear, "I'm gonna think about you
tonight when I jack off."
  He shot me a killer smile, and then disappeared through the door.
  Damn.

  I barely remember sprinting back to my house, dumping my clothes
and hobbling down the back steps while tying a pair of cutoffs around
my ankle. My next clear memory was wheeling around the perimeter of
the town, and then heading straight out towards the mountains. The
rhythmic pattering of my paws seemed to wake my mind up again,
reminding me of where I was. Phasing had come so easily - after all the
pent up emotions of tonight - that I didn't even notice I had done it, until
the voices began to fill my head.
  <No way, he didn't> said Jared.
  <Jake, talk to us, bro. What happened? What are we seeing here? Is
this for real?> Quil pressed.
  I forgot. I had an audience. I scrambled to think of something, anything
else, as quickly as possible.
  <Guys, phase back. We'll meet up back at my house. Jacob and I will
finish off this shift,> Sam directed them.
  <What? And walk the whole way?>
  <That's right. On two legs. Now!> He could be snappy when he got
impatient.
  The two of them blipped out of my head. Only Sam remained, and from
what I could see through his eyes, he was coming up fast beside me.
  The giant black shape crashed out of the foliage to my left and took up
my pace easily. I could outrun Sam without breaking a sweat any day -
the big guy wasn't much built for speed - but I wasn't trying to. I relaxed
my thoughts, letting my mind go where it wanted, and letting Sam follow.
In a couple of minutes, he knew everything.
  <Went a bit differently than you expected, huh?> he asked.
  I had nothing to say to that.
  <Look, Jake, if you're worried about what the other guys will think...>
  <It's not them I'm worried about, Sam!> I half-laughed at him, <you of
all people should know...> the image of a shattered, bitter Leah tore
through both our minds simultaneously, and we fell silent.
  <Of course. But you have to understand: you're not me. That was my
mistake to make, and I can't have you bearing the burden.>
  <It's not that simple...> I began.
  <It never will be if you keep overanalyzing everything! God, Jacob! He
loves you! And you're too much of a self-pitying ass-wipe to see it.
Already, he loves you as much as any stupid imprint! What more could
you ask for? Tell me, if he imprinted on you tomorrow, would that
change anything?>
  <No. But then I'd have to love him back, I'd have no choice.>
  <Don't you already?>
  I didn't have to answer. Sam could see it straight out of my thoughts.
How I wanted nothing more than for Seth to be mine. How Bella was
quickly becoming... a complication.
  <That's deep. Well, safe to say, you can't hurt him, Jake,> Sam said in
the same satisfied manner that Seth had given me earlier; <you don't
have it in you.>
  We had turned around in a big circle, and were now coming back down
to the village. It seemed that everyone else had more confidence in me
than I did in myself.
  <But I'm happy for you, man,> he said, lightening the tone, <he's a way
better choice than Vampire Girl.>
  I knocked him with my flank and nearly sent him careening into the
trees, and then it was a race to his house, laughing as we ran.
  <You know, you forgot to invite him to the bonfire.>
  Shit! With everything that happened, it'd slipped my mind.
  <It's ok, I don't blame you,> Sam sniggered, replaying my own
memories of how Seth had drawn me in so completely, <just remember
the next time you talk to him.>
  <I will,> I muttered, embarrassed.
  <There's one other thing I want to know,> he grinned wickedly, wolf-
teeth gleaming in the moonlight; <does this mean I'm going to be getting
a lot less head from you now?>

  The guys only got cursory details. Didn't want to kiss and tell, after all.
Sam left it up to me to decide who I told, but I figured, what the hell,
they'd all know anyway the second we were wolves together, right?
Naturally, I had to put up with a solid ten minutes of cheering and the
guys yelling "Go Jake!" as they gave me high fives and jabs in the ribs.
Paul had learnt to hold his tongue if he had nothing good to say, but I
had a feeling he might've been genuinely happy for me. He even clapped
me on the shoulder before he and Embry took off to run the next shift.
Embry wanted details when he came back, of course.
  "So, are you guys a thing now?" Quil asked after they'd left.
  "I don't know... we haven't gotten to that part yet," I replied. It felt
weird. I was used to them ribbing me over Bella, but somehow this felt
more personal, like they had a right to know. Maybe it was because they
knew Seth, or because was going to become one of us soon. They ran out
of questions pretty quickly, after they figured I wasn't going to give them
any juicy details. Quil seemed content to know that I'd found someone,
and was happy. Jared was more skeptical. He could see where I was
coming from with my doubts, and since he'd imprinted on Kim, he knew
first-hand how it could completely change your world, leaving you no
choice in the matter. Talking to him didn't make me feel any better at all,
so Sam sent us all home to get some rest, before the other guys got back.
  I watched Quil and Jared wave goodbye to each other before heading off
in opposite directions down the road, and then I turned back to Sam.
  "Why are you doing this?" I asked him.
  "What am I doing?" he asked nonchalantly, leaning against the
doorpost.
  "You're protecting me, being the good guy. You don't have to, you know.
I'm not a kid; I can take my share of emotional pain."
  "Jake, I just want to see you happy," his face was hard and serious, but
the gentle, warm tone of his voice told me he was speaking to me as a
friend, not as the Alpha. "Ever since the vamps came back, you've been
miserable. And it's because he took her away from you."
  I felt a sting in my chest.
  "But it was time to move on, a long time ago. And then tonight! I saw
inside your head, Jake. You were like a kid on Christmas!" he laughed,
joyfully, "I'm so glad he's brought some happiness back into your life.
We're all going to owe him one, the whole pack. For bringing you back to
us."
  I guessed he was right. I hadn't been this happy in a long time.
Something that made me feel like this couldn't possibly be bad. I sighed,
and pulled Sam into a hug.
  "Thanks for looking out for me."
  "Anytime, buddy. Now go on, get the hell off my property."

  I scratched at a spot of paint on the table, waiting for someone to pick
up the phone. Four rings. He was home, wasn't he? Or had I been in
such a hurry to get home and on the phone, that I'd actually beat him
home from school? Six rings. A dent was starting to appear in the wood,
and the paint hadn't gone anywhere. Seven rings.
  "Hello?" a girl's voice. Not Sue.
  "Oh, hi Leah, it's Jacob," I said flatly. There was a time where I would've
been embarrassed to be talking to Leah Clearwater; beautiful,
statuesque, straight out of every Quileute boy's dreams. Now all I could
picture was how she looked in Sam's eyes: bitter, jealous, and utterly
repulsive. I'm sure some of the disgust showed in my voice, because she
replied in like.
  "Billy's not here," she shot back with acidity.
  "I know. That's not why I called. I was wondering if I could talk to your
brother."
  "Seth? What do you want with the little twerp? You guys were out a
long time last night."
  "None of your business. Just put him on, will you?"
  The phone clacked to the table. There were footsteps shuffling, then
Leah calling out Seth's name. I hated having to try to hear all this
through the phone. It was like listening through a concrete wall, with
your ears stuffed full of cotton, and your head underwater. Everything
was so... distorted. A long time passed. I started up on that spot of paint
again. Maybe they forgot about me? Maybe Leah's just left the phone
there, leaving me hanging, to be a waste of my time? Finally, there was
another clacking.
  "Hello?"
  "Hello, sir, this is Lycanthropes Anonymous calling, just wanting to
check if you've been experiencing any unusual growth of fur lately?"
  "Jacob?" Seth asked, confused.
  "The one and only," I replied, "Or have you forgotten me already?"
  "No, it's just..." he paused, "I didn't really expect you to call. You only
live, like, two minutes from me."
  "Well, sorry. In that case, I might just hang up now..."
  "No! Don't hang up."
  "Okay. I take it you still want me, then?"
  "Yeah, more than ever," his voice was low, and I imagined Leah wasn't
far away in their little house.
  "That's good. Hey, and guess what?"
  "What?"
  "I still want you too."
  He giggled, and I wanted so much to tussle up his hair.
  "So what are you doing?" I asked.
  "Nothing much," he replied with disdain.
  "Oh, as if, it's Friday night!"
  "Unlike some people, I don't have a big gang of friends."
  "Point. Okay, so you want to do something?"
  "Like what?"
  "I don't know. What do you want to do?"
  "I dunno. What do you wanna do?"
  "Don't start that, Seth."
  "Sorry... Look, why don't you just come over here, and we'll figure it out
from there?" he sounded irritated, impatient. I wondered what I had done
to bother him, and then figured it probably wasn't me.
  "Leah getting on your back?" I asked.
  "Yeah. She doesn't like it when people who aren't her get to use the
phone."
  I laughed. "Alright, I'll be over in a couple."
  "You'd better hurry. I'm going to have to start fighting her off with a
pointy stick. Ow!" he yelped, probably as Leah delivered one of her finely
tuned pinches to the arm. Then the line went dead.
  I changed out of the clothes I'd worn to school, opting for something
more comfortable. But then I realized I actually wouldn't mind looking
good for Seth, so I pulled on a grey muscle tee. He'd love that. Billy still
wasn't home from Mr. Ateara's. I left a quick note on the kitchen table
telling him I'd call around dinnertime to let him know when I'd be home,
then bounded out the door.

  Seth must've seen me coming up the road, because he was standing in
the doorway, grinning from ear to ear, even before I reached the steps. I
could hear Leah blabbering away on the phone just behind him, so I
decided not to immediately pull him to me for a hug. But that didn't
seem to bother Seth, and he grabbed me and embraced me anyway. Had
he grown since last night? His nose seemed to nuzzle higher in my chest,
and his face seemed closer to mine. Maybe I was just imagining it. Or
maybe that little bit of werewolf cum was already having an effect. Shit.
No more blowjobs for the time being, not until he'd been properly
initiated, or Sam would kill me. We left the house behind, turning back
up the road towards the centre of town.
  "You seem different today, happier, kinda... more confident," he mused.
  I grinned at him.
  "I had a chat to Sam last night, and I've decided that nothing else
matters - none of this imprinting bullshit anyway - just you and me."
  "Huh. And so Sam knows now?" Seth asked.
  "Yeah, the whole pack does." He looked mortified. "Don't get me wrong,
I didn't run home and go 'Hey guys, guess what I just did?', but it's kind
of hard to keep secrets from them."
  "'Cos you guys are all so close and stuff?" there was a hint of
admiration in his voice.
  "Well, there's that, but also when we're wolves, we can hear each other's
thoughts."
  "Oh, so you can, like, talk to one another?"
  "More than that, you can see right into each other's heads, everything
anyone else is thinking, and they can see into yours. There's no way of
keeping secrets from each other."
  "Wow. So you'd know everything about everyone else in the pack."
  "Yeah."
  He was quiet for a moment as he thought over this.
  "What's that like?" he asked at last.
  "It's awful," I shuddered, "no privacy, no secrets, nowhere to hide...
They all saw everything we did last night, and heard every word we said.
Not the kind of thing I'd share if I had a choice."
  Seth didn't say anything. He was embarrassed, I guess, that we were so
suddenly on show. Like he'd been on reality TV, and didn't know it.
  "I'm sorry; I should've told you sooner."
  "No, that's okay," he said, "I wouldn't have done anything different."

  We were nearly at the general store now. I could see Paul and Jared
sitting on steps, and Jared turned to say something to Paul when he saw
us coming.
  "What do the guys think?" Seth asked as we approached them.
  "They're happy for me, mostly. Jared's the only one who had anything
to say against it, but I'm not letting that get to me."
  "Hey Jake! Seth!" Jared waved to us. We started towards them.
  "Hey! You guys know Seth Clearwater, yeah?" I said, as a formality. Of
course they knew him. They'd know everything about him that I knew.
  "Yeah, 'course, Leah's brother," Jared nodded. He shook hands with
Seth, who winced at the strength of the larger boy's grip.
  "Seth; Jared, Paul," I indicated each of them to him.
  "Hey guys," he said. All his usual extroversion seemed to be gone in
front of the two big guys who knew way too much about him. I couldn't
keep from grinning.
  "So, are you coming to the bonfire?" Paul asked, and Jared immediately
elbowed him hard in the ribs.
  "...Bonfire?" Seth replied, perplexed. Jared fumbled for something to
say, and I jumped in for the save.
  "Yeah, Sam wanted me to invite you to this thing; it's in a couple of
weeks' time..." I began.
  "Uh, guys," Jared interrupted, "sorry, but we've got to scoot. See you at
Sam's later, yeah, Jake?"
  "Sure, sure," I mumbled back, distracted. He gripped my shoulder and
smiled encouragingly, and then he and Paul took off. I heard him hiss
under his breath, too faint for Seth to hear, "Why'd you bring that up?
Now he's all suspicious..."
  "So what's this about the bonfire?" Seth inquired, his features creased
into an accusatory look.
  "Can I buy you an ice cream? Then I'll explain."

  We sat back on the steps where Paul and Jared had been before, eating
our ice creams. There were seats inside the store, but I didn't want to be
overheard. A fine, misty rain had begun drifting down out of the grey sky,
and I wondered if the cold was bothering Seth. If so, he didn't say
anything. I explained the bonfire to him; how my dad and Mr. Ateara
wanted to tell The Legends to the wolf pack and anyone else it might
concern in one go. The stories were pretty lengthy, and they didn't want
to have to repeat themselves.
  "But I've heard them all already," Seth said.
  "Not like this, you haven't. Hearing the stories and thinking it's all a
bunch of fairy tales is one thing. When you know they're not only real,
but they directly affect your life, you tend to pay a bit more attention."
  He nodded, and stared at his hands as he folded again and again the
chocolate-stained paper from his ice cream.
  "My dad used to tell them to me," he said quietly. I glanced over at him.
  "I used to ask him if there were more, to tell me more stories about the
wolf-men," he smiled slightly, reminiscing, "and he'd always say, yes,
there's more. But they're for later. There was a whole lifetime's worth of
knowledge that he was going to pass on to me someday, when I was
ready for it, when I was older."
  I placed my hand on his back, offering what comfort I could.
  "Do you ever miss your mom, Jacob?" the question caught me off
guard. He also called me Jacob - something he hadn't done since he
started calling me "Jakey" when he was five.
  "Yeah," I muttered, "I missed her more when Rachel and Rebecca were
around, and it felt more like a family. It's just me and the old man now, it
doesn't feel as bad."
  We didn't have anything to say to each other for a long moment. This
sucks, I thought, and decided to change the subject.
  "You want to come around for dinner tonight?" I asked him, lightening
the mood.
  "Okay," he said, "who's cooking?"
  "I usually do," I replied, and from the look he gave me, I could tell it was
the wrong answer.
  "Or... you could come over to mine. Bring Billy along. I'm sure mom
would love the company."

  We agreed that was a good idea, and went back to my house to call Sue
at work. She said it would be great to have Billy and me over, and she'd
make Harry's famous fish fry. All we had to do now was kill time until
Billy came home. I took Seth down to my little garage and showed him
the Rabbit and my bike. I could almost see my cool quotient rising in his
eyes as I mounted the bike, kicked it to life, and took it for a spin on the
dirt road between my shed and the woods. I'd gotten off the bike, and
was about to let him have a turn when Billy's voice came round from the
front of the house.
  "Jacob? Is that you?" he called out.
  "Yeah!" I yelled back. "Come on," I said to Seth, "we'd better go,"
  We got to the front door in time to catch Billy's valiant attempt at
scaling the two-inch-high step up onto our porch in his wheelchair.
  "Don't bother, Billy," I sighed, "we're going over to the Clearwaters'
tonight."
  "Oh?" he said, and then saw Seth behind me. "Is that so?" he gave me a
look that I recognized. He knew something was up, and wanted in on the
secret. I didn't give him the pleasure.
  Seth insisted on wheeling the old man the two thirds of a mile to his
house. The roads were unpaved all the way, so for the sake of not
bumping the hell out of Billy, we took it slow. By the time we got there,
the heady smell of deep frying fish and golden fries was high in the air for
thirty yards all around. Well, to me at least. The others didn't seem to
notice until we crossed the threshold.
  "Sue! It's been too long," Billy said with a cheeky grin.
  "You're getting senile, Billy," Sue laughed, brushing long strands of her
jet-black hair out of her face as she turned around, "I only saw you just
the other day."
  "And yet the days apart feel like years," Billy retorted, and then took up
his favorite place in front of the TV.

  After dinner, Seth and I sat on the back steps watching the procession
of black clouds, their edges painted silver by the moonlight as they
drifted across the sky. Leah had shut herself in her room, on the phone
as usual, and Sue and Billy were blabbering away at the table, so Seth
and I had gone outside for some privacy. The cold night air was getting to
him, despite the thick quilt he'd dragged out here from his bed. We'd had
it over both our shoulders, so I could share my body heat with him, until
it got too much for me, and I could feel myself sweating. As we talked, I
realized how much I'd underestimated him. All these years we'd known
each other, our families being so close and all, I'd thought of him as a
kid, inferior to me, not worth wasting time on. Only now did I begin to
see how much he'd grown up. I no longer had any doubt that he was
ready to bear the burden of the sons of our tribe.
  He grew sleepy, leaning against my body. I curled my arm under the
quilt and around him, bringing him closer, keeping him warm. He held
my hand with our fingers interlocked, pressing it against his sternum,
letting me feel the subtle rise and fall of his chest. His hair brushed up
against my chin, and every breath I took was laced with his cool, clean,
seductive smell. We stayed like that, the silence broken only by his
breathing. I thought to myself, if this was it, if I had died right then, I
would've said it was enough.

  The door opened behind me, and I turned to see Sue, smiling down at
us.
  "Seth, dear?" she said in a voice like the music of a lullaby, "I think it's
time to let Jacob and Billy go home."
  Seth groaned and shifted. Sue nodded to me, and then disappeared
back inside, shutting the door as she went.
  "Stay the night? Please, Jake?" Seth pleaded.
  Fuck. I wanted to, so much. But I knew I couldn't.
  "I... I can't," I said, "the guys are counting on me to do the next shift.
I'm going to be running from midnight till dawn."
  "Till dawn? But you haven't even slept!" he protested.
  "I know, it's a hard life," I yawned just thinking about it. "It'll be easier
on us when you and a couple more guys join the pack."
  "I can't wait," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic.
  We shuffled back to his room, the quilt sweeping the floor behind him.
He lay on his bed, and I sat on the floor next to him. I took the room in,
for the first time, really, even though I'd been in here scores of times
since we were kids. But now it seemed that every little thing told me
more about the boy I loved, from the fading stripy blue wallpaper to the
Muse poster. I smiled to myself - I liked them as well.
  "Jake? You ready to go?" Billy called from the front room.
  "Alright, gotta head off," I whispered to Seth. We were still holding
hands. I leaned in and kissed him, letting my lips convey how much I
didn't want to leave him right then, how much I really did want to stay.
  Billy didn't bring up the subject of and Seth and me on the walk home,
which was gracious of him. He knew - I could tell. And there was
something in his smug tone as we chatted that told me he was happy for
me, too. It was comforting to know that we had the approval of Sue and
Billy. I felt like a great weight had been taken off my mind, later, as I ran
with Sam by my side. My feet had more spring in them, my muscles had
more energy, and I was filled by a strange, warm feeling that I hadn't felt
in a long time - the feeling that when the sun rose, when my shift was
over, there would be someone waiting for me to come home.

  Sam and Embry burst forward from the tree line, just black silhouettes
in the moonlight against the low, dusky mist forming in the forest behind
them. They were still running as they wheeled around in the narrow
meadow, keeping close to the trees on their left. They weren't phasing
back, not even slowing down, and I knew we were on to something. Paul
and Jared were still in there, probably, chasing down our quarry. The
other two had only come back to let Quil and I know that we were
needed, fast. We kicked off our sweats, not bothering with tying them
around our ankles. There'd be plenty of time to worry about modesty
issues later, when the hunt was over, and we couldn't have anything
slowing us down in the meantime.
  We didn't think that tonight would be an intense night of running, and
we'd all made other plans. It wasn't the ideal way to spend the first
warm-ish Saturday night of May. As I phased, the minds of the others
came sharply into focus. Behind the adrenaline, the excitement of
chasing this vampire, I could feel the irritation in Jared's head. He'd
cancelled a date with Kim to be here. Sam was equally annoyed, just
covering it up better. Emily had just come back from the Makah rez this
afternoon, and he'd barely gotten an hour with her before he was off
running again. I wasn't terribly thrilled myself.

  I'd spent all of today with Seth, doing homework at my place. Billy had
been conveniently carted away to Charlie's to watch a game, and we had
the house to ourselves. It felt like the first time we'd really hung out, just
doing normal stuff, not anything 'couple-y'. It reminded me of when Bella
and I used to just chill like that as well, the whole days we used to while
away together over that same table, usually not getting much homework
done, but enjoying every second of each others' company nonetheless.
Back before HE came back. I figured that's why hanging out with Seth
felt so right. He'd taken my mind off the empty feeling I'd been getting
since my best friend abandoned me. Yeah, that's what it was. It was
better for me this way, healthier: best not to be making any attachments
that couldn't last.
  As if he'd known what was on my mind, the first thing Billy said when
he came in through the door was that Charlie was home alone, that Bella
had gone to Jacksonville for three days to visit her mother. And although
he didn't say it, I knew she had gone with HIM. Three days. That was
exactly how long it took, wasn't it? For him to turn her into one of them.
The thought of it made my stomach turn. How were they going to do it?
Crash the plane and make it look like they died? Would they kill a whole
plane full of people to make their plan look real? I wouldn't put it past
them. Or maybe just a car crash, to keep it simple - that shiny silver
Volvo found wrapped around a tree, two teenagers found inside, mangled
beyond recognition. They'd have to find two replacement bodies, but I
didn't put that past them either. Chances are they had a whole dungeon
full of those ready to go.
  I'd done my best to push the thought of all that from my mind. Wasn't
Seth all that mattered now? All I ever wanted? Bella was just a
complication to that now. But she was still my best friend. I would want
to know if anything happened to her. Just to know, just for closure. So I
decided to call her when she was supposed to get back on Sunday, and
leave it at that. Seth wasn't oblivious to my distress at the situation. I
could see the helplessness in his eyes, not knowing what to say. He only
knew the bare minimum of the bloodsuckers' side of the story, after all.
But as I sat there, staring aimlessly into the void, my fists clenched in
anger, in grief, in hate, he pressed his hand against my chest.
  "She'll be alright, Jake. Whatever happens, at least it's what she wants.
You should be happy for her."
  "I know," I sighed. I also knew that he didn't have to do this; he didn't
have to play the good guy and defend her. After all, wasn't she his main
competition? Not that there was any person in the world who could
compete against Seth.

  It was then that Emily came bursting through my front door.
  "Sam needs you," she huffed, still catching her breath. "It's urgent. The
female is back on our land, he thinks you guys can catch her. But the
plan he's got is risky, maybe even dangerous with so few of them. He's
calling for backup. He says he needs you running right away, and he'll
meet you and Quil at our house."
  I looked at Seth, and the hurt expression that crossed his face. I wasn't
supposed to be running tonight's shift. The guys said they'd cover for me.
We'd planned the whole night, dinner here, movies on the couch, and
then he'd stay the night.
  "I'm sorry," I said.
  He nodded, dropping his eyes to the floor. I put my hand against his
cheek, and kissed him softly. My hand dropped. Then I turned back to
Emily, and started out the door.
  He grabbed me by the wrist and spun me back around. Tears were
beginning to well in his eyes, his lips beginning to tremble. Shit, I don't
need this now.
  I pulled him into my chest.
  "It'll be okay. I have to go. We'll be safe; we know what we're doing."
  "Promise you won't get hurt tonight, okay? Promise you'll be careful." he
whimpered.
  "I promise, Seth. Now come on, I have to go, it's my duty."
  He tore himself away, barely suppressing the choking in his throat. I let
his hand fall from mine, and it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
  Emily stood with him, her hand on his shoulder, her eyes reassuring. I
met her glance, and some other kind of language passed between us. She
would take care of him. She'd been through all this before.
  "I'll come to your house first thing when I get back," I called over my
shoulder as I stepped into the cool evening air, "and I want you in that
bed, waiting."

  The night turned out to be a terrific waste of time. Yes, we found the
vamp's trail, and we gave chase, pushing her towards the cliffs, but
that's about where the plan fell apart. She crossed the treaty line, and
we'd been waiting in the wrong place for her to cross back. Sam caught
up to her before we did, and ran straight into the Cullens. Well, more like
the big one ran straight into Paul. We knew it wasn't his fault, these
things happened in the heat of the moment, but Paul wasn't exactly
known for his gentle nature.
  One by one everyone took sides to defend their family and friends, until
before we knew it, it'd become a full stand off. Their leader spoke to Sam
and calmed things down enough for us to start after Victoria again, but
by the time we'd chased her to the cliffs, she'd took off into the water.
The two big male vamps wanted permission to cross the line to go after
her, but we said no.
  It was nearly dawn by the time we reconvened at La Push. The
atmosphere was tense as we stood around Sam's cramped living room,
none of us feeling in the mood to sit down. Sam was angry at Paul for
overreacting; it had been the distraction Victoria needed to get away. He
stressed the importance of not picking fights with the Cullens, not while
we had a common enemy at least. This surprised me - he had always
been the most anti-Cullen out of us. But I guess it was just another
reason why he'd always be a better Alpha than me. He was able to put
his duty to the pack before himself. Something I would always be too
weak to do.
  We were tired, and our attention was wavering, so Sam sent us all
home to get some rest. He said he didn't feel tired at all, so he would take
the shift until noon, and then come get one of us. As punishment for
starting the fight, he made Paul run with him. I couldn't meet his eyes as
I left. He'd been in my head, reading every last one of my ruminations
over Bella. And he was angry with me. I hadn't had time to think about it
much while we were out running, but the fact that her vamp was missing
from tonight's line-up had driven the point home and made me start
thinking about it all over again. His fierce stare followed me as I walked
out the door, but I wasn't in the mood to be lectured.

  The sun was breaking the horizon, and it occurred to me that it was
already Sunday, the last day of Bella's three-day absence. It bugged me,
like an itch on the back of my head, and I wasn't sure why. I thought I'd
taken her out of my life, convinced myself that it wasn't worth making
attachments, because it was just a matter of time before she would be
dead to me forever. No, not dead. Dead would've been better. She would
still exist, unreachable, an abomination... and very much his, for all
eternity. That was exactly why I needed to find out. So I could stop
wondering, stop torturing myself, and move on.
  It was still too early to call her house, so I went home to put on some
clothes, and then headed to the Clearwaters' to keep my promise to Seth.
The sky had turned an intense red over the mountains to the East, the
first blood-orange rays beginning to color the highest peaks. Beyond the
last houses, the trees were filled with birds announcing the new day. By
contrast, the trees and bushes around me were silent. Animals tended to
stay quiet when we werewolves were around. The smarter ones even ran
away. It was like they could sense that there was something unnatural
about us. There was no sound coming from inside the house, and it was
too dark to see into the windows. Not wanting to knock, I tried the
doorknob, and it turned.
  Seth was asleep on the couch, curled up under a couple of thick
blankets. In the cool, dim glow of the early morning, his face was so
smooth, so serene. I brushed the back of my hand gently over his cheeks,
tracing the curve of his lips, to his temple. Long, dark eyelashes stood in
place of those chocolate eyes, and were no less beautiful. His skin was
warm to the touch, even to me, and I remembered the sleepless nights,
feeling like there was furnace inside you, that preceded the
transformation. Not long for him now. I settled down in the armchair
next to the couch, yawned, and watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his
blanket-draped shoulders as the world grew light outside.

  I woke to the discrete clattering of cups and glasses in the kitchen.
There was a grey blanket crumpled at my feet. Someone had put it over
me, and I'd pushed it off. The smell of something warm and rich filled the
air. I turned to find Sue making coffee at the kitchen counter.
  "'Morning, Sue," I said quietly, not wanting to wake Seth.
  She looked up, surprised.
  "Good morning, Jacob. Sorry, I was trying to be quiet; I didn't want to
wake you..."
  "No, that's ok," I said, standing up and moving towards to kitchen.
Every muscle in my body ached like I'd run a marathon. I guess I just
had.
  "Hot cocoa?" she asked in a hushed voice.
  I smiled at her and nodded. She started taking things out of cupboards,
moving things around on the counter, and I glanced back at Seth.
  "He insisted on waiting up for you," Sue said, a hint of a chuckle in her
voice, "he said you promised to come see him the minute you got back."
  My face grew hot with embarrassment. "Yeah, I did."
  "Did you boys...?" she struggled to finish the question, and my heart
leaped into my throat. Oh no, was this going to be a sex question? I
didn't think I was prepared to have this talk with someone who was
practically my second mom.
  "...with the Cold One, I mean?" she finished.
  I exhaled, relieved.
  "No. We chased her down to the cliffs, and she dived into the water and
got away," I shook my head glumly.
  "Oh. That's too bad." I could see that she was trying to keep some
distance from the whole werewolf subject; she still wasn't entirely
comfortable with talking about it. She handed me my cup and we moved
to the table in silence. I sipped the hot liquid from mine, while she
wrapped her hands around her cup, watching her still-sleeping son.
  "Jacob, I have to ask... I know you're probably not allowed to tell me, I
know there are rules... But is he...?" she broke off halfway, unable to
finish the sentence. Which was probably better, I couldn't have answered
her if she had. It was clear from what we had been discussing before
what she wanted to know. The emotion in her voice just confirmed it.
  I nodded slowly. Her gaze, which had been intently watching for my
answer, dropped to the cup in her hands. She took a couple of deep
breaths.
  "When?" she asked, her eyes creeping back up to meet mine.
  "Soon," I said, "I don't know when exactly. A few weeks, maybe."
  She started convulsing, sobbing ever so slightly, and I felt the cool,
calm, composed Elder Woman slip away, leaving only Sue Clearwater,
widow, single mother of two.
  "He's only a child!" she hissed.
  I couldn't think of anything to say, anything to comfort her.
  She gripped my hands. "You take care of him, Jacob Black. Swear to
me that you won't let him get hurt."
  Shocked by her sudden intensity, I could only nod.
  "Promise me!" she cried urgently.
  "I promise, Sue. I won't let anything happen to him."
  She seemed to calm down. Her hands released mine and curled back
around her mug, but were still trembling.
  "He's a good kid, but he's had a rough year," she said, looking back
down again. "He really loves you, you know," she paused as she caught
my stunned expression, and a smile grew across her lined face, "he
thinks I don't know, but I can see it. He thinks the world of you. Even
when you boys were younger he used to hang onto your every word."
  "And when he lost his father," she grew serious, "I thought he was never
going to be happy again. It was like... like he'd been drained out; like it
was just this ghost of my son drifting around my house." She shivered at
the memory. "And then when Billy told me Harry's family history, and
what would happen to Seth when he grew up... it was like things just
kept getting worse for him. I was so afraid for him, Jacob, so afraid. I'd
just about lost hope, and then you came by the other night. It was like
he was going to leap right out of his skin! I hadn't seen him smile in
months, and suddenly he was bouncing off the walls again. All he's
talked about for days is you."
  I smiled awkwardly, feeling really self-conscious.
  Sue sighed. "It can't be easy, going through everything he has at such a
young age, and it's not even over yet. I'm just glad he has you. Thank
you."
  "I'm glad I have him, too," I said. And saying it out loud, it took on more
meaning than ever before.

  "Jake?"
  "Morning, sleepy," I looked over the top of the couch at him rubbing his
eyes.
  "When..." he yawned, "...when did you get here?"
  "When it was just getting bright," I replied. "I fell asleep on the chair for
a while, and woke up again when your mom came in."
  "So you were out with the gang all night?"
  "Yeah."
  "Aren't you tired?"
  "Yeah..." I suppressed a yawn. He'd reminded me of just how much I
was in need of a good rest. Especially since I was probably going to have
to run a shift or two later today.
  "Oh. 'Cos I was thinking..." he started.
  "Seth," Sue interrupted, "Jacob has had a long night, and I'm sure he
would appreciate it very much if you'd let him go home and get some
sleep. You can see him another day."
  "Or, he could sleep here?" he suggested, looking up at me, "if you want
to?"
  "Sure, sure," I said, and within a second I was being dragged off to his
room. I shrugged at Sue, who just smiled and rolled her eyes at me in
defeat.
  "Wait," I said, remembering something. "Do you mind if I use your
phone?"
  "Yeah, go ahead." He passed me the handset from the table under his
window. I sat on the edge of his bed; yawning as I dialed the number that
I'd dialed so many times it was part of my muscle memory. Here in his
darkened room, away from the smell of coffee and breakfast, I
remembered how tired I really was. My eyelids grew heavy, and I slumped
over, elbows resting on knees, barely able to keep myself upright.
  "Hello?" Charlie's answered in a hoarse voice.
  "Morning, Charlie."
  "Jacob? Wh... Do you know what time it is?"
  I glanced outside. The sun was barely up. Oops.
  "Sorry, I forgot it was still early. Is Bella home yet? Can I talk to her?"
  "Bella...? No, she's still... in Florida."
  "Oh. When will she be back?"
  "Later. Look Jacob, is this really necessary?"
  "Yeah, it's kind of important."
  "Mmm...?" he waited for an elaboration.
  "It's just important, ok? Can you please get her to call me as soon as
she gets back?"
  "Before she even unpacks," Charlie sighed, "go back to bed, Jake. I'll
pass the message along." He hung up.
  I put the phone on the bed and huffed. Well, I guess all I could do now
was try to get some sleep. Seth was already around behind me, lifting my
shirt. I obligingly raised my arms, feeling every last knot in my shoulder
blades as the shirt came off. Then I flopped onto his bed, not able to keep
my eyes open anymore.
  "You hot?" he asked.
  I nodded, though it probably just looked like I was bobbing my head
against the mattress.
  He started tugging at my sweats, and I raised my butt off the bed so he
could get them off properly. I hadn't bothered with underwear. The fewer
things I had to replace when they either got lost or shredded when I
phased, the better.
  "I can't sleep in clothes anymore either. It gets too warm..." I'm sure he
meant for me to hear that, but I was too far gone to respond. He rested
his hand on my chest, and a moment later, gave me a kiss that I was too
tired to return.
  I faded out of consciousness to the feeling of his cool breath on my skin
as his lips left mine.

  When I woke up for the last time, it must've been mid-afternoon. I'd
been having nightmares, vague shadows flashing by as I chased the
vampire through the woods. I'd get to her, close my teeth around her
neck, feeling the satisfying metallic crunch ripple through my jawbone,
and then catch her glimpse of her eyes, or her hair. Not flame-red, but a
dusky brown. Her skin was pale, but not the same chalky pallor as the
Cullens. It was nearly translucent, delicate, and definitely human. This
was Bella. I'd wake with a start, then drag myself over to the phone and
dial Charlie's house again. Every time, I got the same response. And
every time I slumped back down again, I dreamt of killing my best friend.
  My eyes adjusted to the dark room, lit only by the pale, sickly light
filtering in through an inch-wide gap in the curtains on the far wall. A
light rain drummed down on the roof and the window. Seth was wrapped
in my arms, fully clothed. I could hear his heart beating, his shallow,
steady breaths. His weight was on my arm, and I shifted him gently so I
could get up. My hard-on slapped up against my abs. Fuck, I really
needed to take care of that. But not here, I decided; when I got home.
  I'd been sweating. The combined warmth of Seth and my bodies must've
really made me overheat. On the chair by the window was a towel with
my neatly-folded clothes on top of it, and I smiled to myself. He'd thought
of everything. I wrapped the towel around myself and then took a peek
out into the hall. The house was completely silent, the coast was clear -
there was no sign of Sue or Leah - so I dashed across to the bathroom on
the other side. After a poor attempt at trying to piss with a raging boner,
I got into the shower.

  I exhaled deeply as the cool water hit my chest, my face, my hair,
washing the sweat and dirt and grime of a long night's running from my
body. It eased the tension in my muscles and the searing heat in my
skin. I was so lost in my own world that I didn't even hear him come into
the bathroom. It took until I felt the rush of cold air from the open
shower curtain that I turned my head around to look. Seth's hands slid
across my sides as he slowly wrapped his arms around me. His cheek,
then his whole body pressed against my back. I turned to face him.
  His skin was wet and shimmering under the spray of water. His hair, in
glossy black spikes, dripped onto his face, and those huge liquid-
chocolate eyes stared up at me, accompanying his impish grin.
  "You look good wet." His eyes darted up and down my body. My
morning wood hadn't gone down at all, and I felt it twitch in response to
him checking me out. Or maybe it was just at the sight of him.
  Damn, he was hot! I was seeing him naked for the first time. Trails of
water ran down his rich reddish-brown skin, over the rounded plains of
his toned chest and stomach. He wasn't muscular, but it was clear that
the werewolf genes were starting to kick in. The long, lean muscles in his
arms and legs were built for running, while there was definitely strength
in his already well-developed chest. My eyes drifted down his torso to his
cock, which was standing at full attention. He caught me looking, and
gave his teen meat a good tug. We looked at each other for a long
moment, just staring at each other, naked. It was the first time we'd
really taken a good long look at one another. There was something
incredibly sexy in his eyes, in the way he was looking at me, sizing me
up.
  Something clicked in my head.
  "You little fucker!" I growled at him. "You planned this didn't you?
Leaving the towel out for me... you wanted to get me in here."
  "Maybe," he looked to his feet sheepishly, "it worked didn't it?"
  His hands were suddenly on my chest, his smooth stomach pressed
against mine. I felt our hard cocks rub together.
  "I just wanted to keep you for a little while more," he said, drawing me
into his puppy dog eyes, "I don't wanna have to wait a whole 'nother day
to see you again."

  Then we were locked at the mouth. I braced myself as he slammed me
hard into the wall. The whole house shuddered under my weight. Our
tongues fought for dominance, and just as I was winning, he bit my lip,
urgent, hungry. There was nothing unconfident about him now, nothing
soft or gentle or shy. He knew what he wanted. His hands found my cock
and were pumping it hard before I could even come up for air.
  "Mmm... yeah, Seth..." I moaned.
  His lips and tongue drifted across my chest, concentrating on my
nipples. I thought back to that night on the beach, how amazing he'd
made me feel. How my body had been paralyzed and electrified all at
once by his hands alone. It wasn't fair. It was my turn to rock his world.
  I grabbed his shoulders, pinning him against the other wall, and kissed
him hard and deep. I could feel his slippery, wet skin under me, the
muscles in his arms flexing involuntarily as his body writhed against my
grip, and his frantic heartbeat as my fingers and lips explored his chest. I
worked over one nipple, then the other, driving him crazy with feelings
he'd never experienced before. His scent, so pronounced now that I was
inches away from his skin, was enhanced by the cool, flowing water, and
I grew hungry for the taste of him. My tongue flicked over the tip of his
cock, taking in the odd mix of pre-cum and water. He braced himself
against the wall as his knees threatened to give out, and I didn't stop.
  Each lashing I gave his stiff meat coaxed another bead of his warm pre-
cum to the tip, and I lapped it up hungrily. His fingers trailed through
my wet hair as he moaned my name again. Yeah, it was time.
  I slid his cock into my mouth.
  "Auuggghhhrr... Fuck, Jake!" he cried.
  He wasn't anywhere near as big as the boys in the pack - yet - so it was
easy to take all of him into me. And I was glad I'd been practicing. Since
that first time sucking Sam off at my initiation, I knew I was hooked. I'd
been taking his cock into my mouth at any available opportunity, and he
loved it. There was a time when he'd come over to my place after doing
runs, in the middle of the night, just so he could shoot a hot load down
my throat. That changed a bit when we found a willing ass in Quil, who
enjoyed getting fucked so much at his pack initiation that we all took
second turns. So now, Sam called on one of us depending on what he felt
like on that night.

  Seth was grunting, moaning, all the sounds unintelligible except for
"Jake" and "more" and "fuck, yes". I kept working his shaft, bathing it
with my tongue, lapping at the head, bobbing up and down on it, and
sucking it from base to tip. I quickly learnt what reactions I could get out
of him, and had fun making him buckle at the knees one minute, then
on his toes the next.
  "Oh yeah... fuck... Jake... uhh... yeah, don't stop... keep going... oh
yeah, Jake," he thrashed around, sounding like he was going insane.
  His cock was throbbing, seething like a geyser waiting to erupt, and I
knew he was close. I let my tongue work ravenously across the head as I
jacked him through the homestretch.
  "Fuckkkkk..." he cried out, and the whole bathroom seemed to vibrate.
Shot after shot of his thick teen jizz sprayed all over the inside of my
mouth as I kept sucking him, not wanting to stop until I'd extracted
every single drop from his aching balls. It wasn't as warm as I was used
to, and it was actually slightly sweet. Shit, was this boy so perfect that
even his cum tasted like dessert? He leant over me, whimpering; the
tremors fading. I cleaned the last drops from his cock, and looked up at
him.
  "Damn, Jake," he breathed. He looked so sexy, relaxed and gasping
slightly from having just cum. I stood up and took his face in my hands,
pressing our lips together, giving him a taste of his own young seed. Both
his hands were already around my pole, pumping it hard. I tried to
moan, but found it impossible with his tongue still in my mouth. He was
using the same twisting motion as the other day, and I decided that it
was definitely his own technique, the way he got himself off every night.
  We separated, but I held his face to mine, our noses touching, water
from each other's hair streaming down into our eyes. He was still panting
hard, and so was I now, his breath and the scent of his skin hot and
close. I scrunched up my face as I got ready to blow, and those beautiful
eyes, an inch away from mine, with their long eyelashes covered in tiny
droplets of water, actually smiled. It was like we were staring right
through each other as I creamed; my body nearly folded in two as I
covered both our stomachs with my huge, messy load.
  I hadn't even stopped shooting when I leaned into him once more,
pressing our wet, sticky bodies together, and kissed him again. His
trembling hands grasped at my back, and I took him in my arms. He
became my support as my body gave out from the last of the spasms,
holding me up as I started sinking to the floor. Everything seemed to
spin; a thousand droplets of water became dazzling points of light. The
world could've been ending, but right then, I couldn't have cared less. I
was with the boy I loved.

  It turned out that Sue and Leah had gone to Port Angeles for the day,
and being home alone had given Seth some wicked ideas. We stood in
front of the mirror, drying ourselves off and fixing our hair. I watched,
amused, as Seth tried to style his hair into a copy of mine. It was pretty
close, and framing his cute face, it looked really good on him, but I
roughed it up, and didn't let him keep it. The rain had turned into a
torrential downpour, and I was less impressed with the idea of walking
the short distance home than having to run laps of the treaty lines
tonight. I hovered in the front doorway, sizing up the gravel path home.
Seth's hand rested in the small of my back.
  "Come over and stay tonight."
  "You know, I have to sleep in my own bed sometimes," I glared at him,
but those wide, sad eyes were impossible to refuse. "It'll depend on when
I get back from running."
  He was quiet, just staring out into the rain.
  "Your bed's not all that comfortable anyway. It's kind of... too small for
me," I admitted. The look he gave me was like I'd just told him there'd be
no Christmas this year. He started to protest.
  "Hold on, let me finish. I was thinking... I've got a bigger bed. You're
welcome to stay over anytime you want, just run it past your mom first."
  He grinned, and if he was in wolf form, I'm sure his tail would've been
wagging.
  "Okay, I'd better go," I sighed. It was time to brave the rain. "I'll call you
when I get back tonight."
  He nodded. "Jake?"
  "Yeah?"
  "At the bonfire... when you introduce me to your friends, the pack, I
mean... can you say I'm your boyfriend?"
  I smiled at him.
  "Sure, sure."

  The rain didn't ease up at all. In fact, it probably started falling even
heavier as I jogged down the road back to my house. I was practically
swimming in my clothes by the time I got to the door, and realized that in
my hasty in-and-out earlier this morning, I'd forgotten the key. The spare
was in my garage. I went round to the back of the house, not bothering
to run any more, I was already as saturated as I could possibly be. Water
was splashing up onto my legs from puddles the size of wading pools.
The garage was usually locked, but if you leant against the wall a certain
way, you could make enough of a gap to force the door open without
doing any damage. That is, if you had werewolf strength, of course.
  I started to do that, taking the handle and applying the necessary force,
but the door opened easily for me. Had I forgotten to lock it? I stepped
into the dark shed, surprised. Above, the pounding of heavy rain on the
tin roof sounded like debris on an air raid shelter. The shed was emptier
than usual; the Rabbit was parked outside, leaving only my motorbike.
Out of nowhere, a dark shape moved in the corner, and I felt the
instinctual need to phase ripple through me, barely controlled. I flicked
the light on.
  "Paul?" I squinted through the sudden brightness.
  He was in a weird pose, buck naked, his hands raised above his head.
It took me a second to notice his hands were bound with thick rope,
suspending him from one of the ceiling beams. The room wasn't very tall,
but he was strung high enough that most of his feet with the exception of
his toes were off the ground.
  He glared over at me, his hair matted across his face with sweat, his
mouth gagged with a rag. So he wouldn't start yelling for help. Sam, you
bastard. It wasn't the first time he'd done this. Since I let the guys use
my garage for Quil's first initiation, it'd become the place for all
'unofficial' pack business when Sam's was unavailable. The etiquette was
to tie something to the door handle if you were in here, but most of the
time, no one bothered. It wasn't like we cared if we got walked in on, and
anyway, the more, the merrier, right?

  I got closer to Paul. The knots were definitely Sam's handiwork. He was
the only one of us who'd ever paid attention in Scouts. I wondered why
he'd gone through such elaborate lengths to create this set-up. Not that I
was complaining. Paul looked good enough to eat, hanging there,
completely exposed. A mass of thick, drying white gobs was spattered
across his taught chest and abs - Sam had already had some fun and
was leaving him here for later. His own lean, fully erect meat was
pointing to the ceiling, leaking enough to have covered his crotch and the
front of his legs in the glistening pre-cum.
  "Sam do this to you?" I asked.
  His fierce eyes glared a hole through my forehead.
  I yanked the gag out of his mouth. He spluttered, coughed.
  "Fuck you, Black!" he spat.
  "Hey, hey, easy buddy," I cooed, and sidled up to him, trailing my
fingers down his cum-slicked abs. The water dripping off me mingled
with the sweat on his russet skin. "I don't like having you hanging
around my garage any more than you do, so I'm going to let you down,
just tell me what happened."
  Humiliated, his eyes darted around the room, avoiding mine.
  "Sam wanted me to do the noon-to-six shift as well... more punishment
for starting that fight last night. I told him to go fuck himself," his face
pulled into a lopsided sneer, "so he dragged me here and fucked ME
instead."
  I laughed.
  "Yeah, it's pretty funny when you look at it that way, huh?" Paul said,
loosening up a bit.
  "Well, you think you've learnt your lesson?" I asked,
  "Shit, yeah. I've been here for so long. I can't even feel my arms. And I
need to cum, so bad."
  "I can tell."
  "Yeah, so come on. Let me down, will you?"
  I had to keep from smiling to myself. It wasn't everyday that I had Paul
trussed up like this, at my disposal... begging for release.
  "Suppose I did, will you do me a favor?"
  "Sure, whatever man, anything," he squirmed.
  "Suck me off?" I grinned.
  Paul let out a chuckle. "Like you even needed to ask."

  I tried for a few minutes to work Sam's knots apart. In the end, I had to
cut him down. Sam had tied him up good. He sat on the hard concrete
floor, his wrists still bound together.
  "Okay, now these," he said, holding his hands up to me.
  "I said I'd let you down. Never said anything about letting you go."
  His face grew intense, rage rippling across his tight scowl. Was he going
to phase? He looked like he wanted to, but couldn't. Strange.
  "I think you owe me something first," I said. I stepped in front of him so
that my legs were on either side of his body. Droplets of water were still
dripping off my clothes and onto him, and he brushed one off of his face
in annoyance. I peeled the waterlogged fabric from my skin, sliding it
down around my ankles, and then pressed the tip of my cock to his lips.
  He hesitated for just a moment, and then hungrily devoured the full
length of my shaft.
  "Holy..." I gasped, crumpling at the knees. I grabbed on to his head for
support, and when I had my balance back, started fucking his face. His
technique was good. Not as smooth or sensual as Jared's or even
Embry's, but he definitely knew what made a guy feel good. The tight
seal of his lips never left my pole as I hammered my pelvis against his
face, my balls slapping at his chin.
  He tried to say something, and the humming in his throat sent a buzz
up my cock that made me see stars.
  "Say what?" I reluctantly pulled out of him for a moment.
  "You taste too clean," he said, dry-retching.
  I rolled my eyes.
  "Mind giving me a hand here?" he asked, indicating his own sorely stiff
rod.
  "Can't you do that yourself?"
  He shook his head. "Sam said no phasing, no jerking off." I watched in
surprise as he put his bound hands around his cock, and they flew off
again like he'd touched a hot iron.
  "He can do that?" I asked, fascinated.
  "Apparently."
  I felt sorry for him. He was leaking so much he was practically sitting in
a pool of his own pre-cum. "Okay," I said. "After you do me."
  He got to work right away, his experienced hands and mouth stroking
and sucking feverishly at my meat. Blowing a load just half an hour ago
had taken some of the edge off, but it was still only a few minutes before
I could feel the heat rising in my balls, simmering up into the depths of
my shaft. My hands were tight around the back of his head, and I forced
him, hard, down onto me and let fly. Four shots went straight down his
throat; three more coated his tongue as my grip slackened.
  "Thanks."
  He wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.
  "No probs."

  I had my hands wrapped around Paul's steel-hard rod, ready to crank a
much-needed load of out him, when Sam strolled in the door.
  "Been playing with my toys, Jacob?"
  I watched the calm, sure expression he usually wore twist into the
menacing, territorial snarl of the Alpha as he knelt down beside me. My
hands were immediately by my side.
  "Bella's back," he said, not looking at me. My heart flinched, dropped
dead to the bottom of my chest, fluttered to life again, and then laid
stone cold and heavy. "Quil saw the shiny silver car coming down the
highway. You might want to give her a call. I have something I need to
tell her pretty-boy leech anyway."
  I moved, gawkily and in silence, towards the cordless handset that
hung on the wall. Dialed the number I'd been dialing all day. It answered
on the second ring.
  "Hello?"
  "You're back." It wasn't a question.
  "Yes."
  "Why didn't you call me?"
  "Because I've been in the house for exactly four seconds and your call
interrupted Charlie telling me that you'd called." Her tone was spiked
with irritation. My heart sank even further.
  "Oh. Sorry."
  "Sure. Now, why are you harassing Charlie?"
  "I need to talk to you."
  "Yeah, I figured out that part all by myself. Go ahead."
  I realized that after all this time, all my failed attempts at trying to get
through to her, I wasn't even sure of what I wanted to say. What did I
want to tell her? I wanted to tell her everything. How much I missed her,
how much I wished all this shit between us had never happened. Did I
want to tell her about Seth? Maybe even that too. Sam hissed from
behind me, his voice inaudible to all but the most sensitive ears.
  "Ask her if she'll be at school tomorrow."
  I turned sharply to look at him, confused. He was busy with his cock
buried deep in Paul's ass as he rammed him up against the wall, one
hand propping Paul's left leg up, and the other clapped firmly over his
mouth to keep him quiet.
  "You going to school tomorrow?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
  "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"
  I blurted out a generic response. "I dunno. Just curious"
  Sam had flipped Paul over onto one of the workbenches, hoisting Paul's
legs over his shoulders so he could drive his thick rod even deeper. His
hand was still clamped over Paul's mouth, and the look on his face
showed he was doing all he could to stay quiet himself.
  "So what did you want to talk about, Jake?" Bella asked, somewhere in
the distance. I snapped out of my reverie over watching Sam fuck Paul's
brains out on my workbench.
  "Nothing really, I guess. I..." Sam let out an involuntary moan, and I
shot a death glare at the back of his head, "I wanted to hear your voice."
It was the part-truth. Hearing her voice, ordinary, unchanged, confirmed
she was still human.
  "Yeah, I know. I'm so glad you called me, Jake. I..." Sam yelped and was
suddenly flinging his hand around in the air. Paul had bitten down on it.
A split-second later, he punched Paul in the face. This was getting
ridiculous.
  "I have to go," I said.
  "What?" she asked.
  Paul, now free to make whatever noise he pleased, started cussing at
Sam.
  "I'll talk to you soon, okay?" I slammed the phone down before she had
a chance to hear him.

  "Are you guys out of your minds?!" I yelled. They couldn't hear me. Sam
was slamming Paul for all he was worth, and Paul was screaming
obscenities like a madman. The pelting rain had eased up, so there was
nothing masking their cries. I watched, hushed and rock-hard as Sam's
jaw dropped and he threw his head back, his eyes rolling back in their
sockets. I knew that look. He gave Paul a few last, powerful thrusts,
pushing himself over the edge. Paul's hands gripped the edge of my
workbench so hard it turned his knuckles white. His face was already
red from being hit, and he scrunched his eyes shut, gasping for air. By
the look of it, Sam must've been going off like an exploding fire hydrant
inside him. Sam bucked, panted, and then slumped over Paul. He
slapped Paul on the chest, and pulled his still mostly-hard pole out.
  His tongue was immediately on Paul's aching sack. Paul squirmed as
the older boy licked sensuously over his engorged tool. By now, all the
rage was gone, and he was whimpering and begging to cum. His hands
were still bound, so it was no trouble at all for Sam to bend him up and
over himself. Paul's slighter build made it even easier, and within
seconds Sam had Paul balanced on his back on the workbench, with
Paul's dick hovering inches away from his own gaping mouth. Sam knew
all too well what he was doing, one of his expert hands milking the long-
awaited load out of Paul's throbbing cock and the other working two
fingers deep into his ass.
  It didn't take long before Paul looked as though he was about to pass
out. Every inch of his skin glistened with sweat or cum, or both, tears
mingled with the perspiration on his face.
  Sam sneered.
  "Alright. Go."
  The reaction was instantaneous and without warning. It was like
sprinklers had gone off, and nobody was even sure where the fire was
yet. Paul was drenching his own face in jet after jet after jet of thick,
creamy jizz. His mouth hung open, unable to close from the sheer
rapture he was experiencing. This release had come after so long. Entire
ropes of cum shot straight onto his own lolling tongue, filling his mouth
so completely that he was barely able to cry out. Sam never stopped
jacking him, tugging out each shot, and finger-fucking his ass at the
same time, milking every last drop out from deep inside him. Finally the
torrent subsided. Paul was left a twitching, wheezing mess on the bench.
Sam wiped his hands on a rag, and then deftly undid the complex knots
around Paul's wrists.
  "Clean yourself up," he snarled, "I want you ready to run by midnight.
And remember this, next time you feel like defying orders." He made a
straight line for the door. "Jacob! Come with me."

  We walked through the drizzle to my house. I had to run back quickly
to get the spare key I'd originally gone down there for, as well as my
sweatpants off the floor. Sam didn't have any clothes with him, so I
checked to make sure Billy wasn't home yet before letting him in. He
went straight to the bathroom, and took a piss while I stood in the
doorway, still waiting for him to say something. He then turned to the
sink and started washing his hands and face. Finally he spoke up,
addressing my reflection in the mirror.
  "You didn't tell me she'd been taken away."
  "I didn't know until yesterday afternoon."
  "I had to find out through your thoughts. Do you know how...
distracting that is? Trying to gather vital information from a scattered
bunch of..." he paused, his hand pressing against his creased forehead,
"...never mind. So she's still human?"
  "She is. And she'll be at school tomorrow." I still didn't know why he'd
made me ask that.
  "So the treaty hasn't been broken," I'm sure he meant to sound relieved,
but there was also a tinge of disappointment in his voice. Like he'd been
hoping that the war had started, and that they'd started it. "You really
didn't know?" he snorted.
  "No."
  He stopped to consider this.
  "Alright, fine. But for not telling me as soon as you found out, you're
going to deliver this message to the Cullens tomorrow."
  "And how will I be doing that?" I seethed. We weren't welcome on their
land any more than they were on ours.
  "When you see go see Bella at school," he said, matter-of-factly. "He'll be
there with her for sure. Tell him I'm willing to overlook the trespass last
night as a once-off incident. But if it happens again, I cannot be
responsible for any retaliation by any members of my pack. Also remind
them that the treaty forbids the biting of a human. They are guests on
our land, Jacob. Be sure to remind him of that."
  I nodded. He turned around to face me, and I still couldn't look him in
the eye. His very stare felt like laser beams, drilling into my skull. I hated
when he went all Alpha like this.
  "You will tell me next time."
  "Yes, Sam."
  He relaxed his stance a bit, his hand reached out to grasp my shoulder.
I shirked away at first, but then let my guard down just a little.
  "How's Seth?" he asked, his voice genuine. I looked up at him.
  "Alright," I replied.
  "His initiation will be on the night of the bonfire, after everyone else
goes. I thought you should know that."
  I froze. The tips of my fingers tingled. I was barely aware that I had
stopped breathing.
  "That's... two weeks?" I murmured.
  "Is that a problem?" Sam asked.
  "No, not at all..." I swallowed, hard. My mind was barely coming to
terms with it. All the worries, all the concerns that had ever occurred to
me suddenly became real. My fear that Seth would soon be facing the
dangers we were facing. The promise I'd made to Sue. And then there
was his initiation. I didn't like the idea of all the guys having their turn
with him. He didn't belong to the pack. He was mine.
  The front door clicked.
  "Jake?" Billy's voice came from the other room.
  "I should go," Sam said, "You're running six to midnight. And I want
you to report back to me tomorrow after you've delivered the message."
He was around me and out the back door in an instant, leaving me alone
with all my fears.

  I did as Sam asked the next day and skipped the first couple of periods
of school to go down to Forks and personally deliver the message to the
mind-reading bloodsucker himself. Bella was there, and I realized how
much it hurt me to see her again. The weeks apart had glazed over the
memory of her, made me forget how much I needed her in my life. I did
my best not to drop my careful demeanor, though; didn't want the vamp
seeing any sign of mushiness. It was easier to act tough with the gawking
students standing around, watching them back away from me and my
bike. Then when the principal came out and threatened to call Charlie! I
nearly had a fit! I could only imagine what that would've been like - the
look of complete gratitude that Charlie would give me for breaking
through Cullen's stupid rules and coming to see Bella at my own risk.
  The rest of the week was relatively dull. Seth wasn't allowed to stay over
on school nights, and although Sue hadn't mentioned explicitly that the
same applied to me, I decided to keep on her good side and play by her
rules. So we'd do homework together, at one of our houses, until
dinnertime. Then both our families would eat together at whichever
house we were in. It worked for Sue, who had to cook less and finally had
some time on her hands for the first time in months, and for Billy, who
got an occasional break from my crappy cooking.
  On Saturday, Bella made a surprise visit to La Push. It was strange,
seeing her here again. Kind of like nothing had changed. Except
everything had, and I couldn't tell her. Every time I decided to tell her
about Seth, I'd look at her again and my plans would melt away. The
sight of her alone made me question my attachment to Seth. Here was a
relationship that had formed over a year. Mine and Seth's, not counting
the time we knew each other as kids, was barely a week old. When I was
with her, I found myself forgetting everything else, and we were just best
friends again. I felt ashamed of myself, doing this to the both of them.
Decide, Jacob! I yelled at myself. But it wasn't as easy as that.

  I wrestled with all those questions for another week. If the bloodsuckers
hadn't come back, if Bella was still here, what would've happened with
Seth? He would've still become a werewolf, probably, so long as Victoria
was still prowling the area, but would we have made the connection that
we did? What Seth did that night, he would've done anyway - it wasn't as
if Bella and I were a couple or anything. But how would I have
responded? Would I have given up the chance of being with Bella, for the
certainty of being with Seth?
  Just to add to it, Quil imprinted that week - on Claire, Emily's two-
year-old niece, of all people. I started doubting Seth and I even more.
Three of us had imprinted now. And we were told it was supposed to be
rare. Bullshit. Was it just a matter of time before I would as well? It could
come so suddenly, so unexpectedly. But the scars it would leave on him
would last forever. I needed to know, needed answers.
  So, on the following Friday, I made a snap decision to take my bike
down to Forks and abduct Bella from school. Bet the leeches didn't see
that one coming. It felt great to be with her again, even better than the
last time, because we were doing something crazy, daring, just like we
used to. Then we settled into conversation, and the mood grew heavy
again. I found myself telling her about Quil. It was a relief to talk to
someone about my fears of imprinting that hadn't heard it a hundred
times before. But it didn't help settle any of the questions that were
eating away at my insides. I only gave her one half of the story - the half
that concerned her. It was enough of the truth. I was really, truly afraid
that if I imprinted I would lose her too. Well, not lose her, but lose the
choice.
  Unfortunately, it seemed that my options were already being narrowed,
imprinting or not. Bella told me that she would be changed soon, as in
after graduation, as in, in a few weeks time. I lost my cool. I nearly
phased. A few weeks, and she would be ripped out of my life forever.
Knowing it was coming was the worst part. I let her know that. I told her
that I would rather she was dead. And it was true.
  That settled it. The connections had to be severed. There was no use
hanging on to things that were already dead.

  I lay awake that night, blinking at the ceiling. The rain made a sheet of
water that ran down the window, messing with the grey moonlight
streaming in. I tried closing my eyes again, and all I could see was Bella.
It was the same image from my nightmare that day; that day I talked to
her again for the first time in months. The same nightmare I'd been
having every night I'd slept alone. The one where I'd chase her, take her
down, and clamp my jaws around her fragile, human neck. But tonight,
she was one of them. Her skin was too white, even for her. Her features
perfect, flawless, lacking in all the tiny imperfections that made her
human. Her eyes burning red, hungry as she fought back...
  I sat up with a start for the umpteenth time. Fuck this shit. I had to get
out of here. My feet were striding across the floor before I knew it, and I
was out the door. Billy had long since come to terms with the fact that if
I wasn't home when he got up, I'd be running, or, more recently, at
Seth's. He wouldn't miss me. Once outside, the pelting rain felt like it
could sizzle off my blazing skin, and I was silently pleased with the fact
that sleeping in the buff meant I could phase without a second thought.
In an instant I was on four legs and taking the back way to Seth's house.
  <Jacob?> Quil asked, confused, <you're not running tonight?>.
Through his eyes, I could tell that he was about fifty miles away, up near
the foothills of the Olympic range.
  <Heading to Seth's,> I replied.
  He got a freeze-frame replay of the images from my nightmare, and
winced. The Clearwater's house came into view.
  <Take it easy, alright?> he said. But I was already phasing back.
  I tapped hard on the little rectangle of glass that was Seth's window,
hoping he would hear me through the battering of the rain. Weary feet
thumped to the floor inside, and approached the window. The curtain
was drawn aside.
  Seth peered, drowsily, out into the darkness, and then jumped back,
wide eyed in surprise.
  "Jake?" he mouthed.
  I pointed towards the door. He nodded and drew the curtains again.
  A moment later, he stuck his head out into the tiny back porch, looking
for me through the icy wind and rain.

  While I stepped in and shut the door behind me, he dashed to the
bathroom and returned with a towel. Somewhere behind the wall to my
left, I heard Leah choke out a huge, wheezing cough. She'd come down
with some sort of strange fever, and the doctors had no idea what it was
or where she'd caught it... or whether or not it was contagious. So she
was confined to the house for the time being. That was why I wasn't
staying over, as I would've any other Friday night. Seth hadn't come over
to mine, either. It was too tiring for Sue to keep getting up in the middle
of the night when she had to work as well, so he was in charge of looking
after Leah.
  I stood in the nearly pitch-black hallway, dripping all over the
floorboards while I toweled myself off. The sleepy confusion was
disappearing off Seth's face, and he started to grin impishly at me.
  "This is unexpected," he said in a hushed voice.
  "I couldn't sleep."
  "Neither. I'm feeling really warm tonight."
  I noticed he was just in his boxer briefs, and smiled to myself. He'd
switched to those after he found out that I wore them... on the occasions
that I bothered with underwear.
  "And Leah hasn't stopped coughing all night. I'm really worried about
her, Jake."
  I hugged him to me, his skin warm and dry against mine. Wow, if he felt
warm to me... I realized that it was technically already Saturday, which
meant his initiation would be tomorrow. It'd crept up on me over the last
two frantic weeks. I'd told him of the plans of course, as soon as I found
out. He had seemed more excited than anything else; so eager to leave
his life of normality behind. It reminded me so much of Bella... and
suddenly their two lives became parallel in my mind. Bella was giving up
her life for the love of a man. How were Seth's actions any different? They
are completely different, I told myself. He doesn't have a choice in this,
being a werewolf is part of his genetics. It's not like he's choosing to be a
werewolf to be with me. But even as we lay down together in his too-
small bed, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was somehow the hypocrite
in all of this, telling Bella that what she was doing was wrong, but then
standing idly by as Seth did pretty much the same thing.

  "Seth," I whispered as I played with his fine, black hair, "have you ever
stopped to think that maybe you might not want to be a werewolf?"
  "Yeah," he choked out, "but I don't have a choice, right?"
  "I believe there's always a choice, if you want it enough."
  He paused to consider this.
  "I want you, Jake," he tightened his arms around me. "Anywhere you
are; that's where I wanna be. And I guess that means I wanna be a
werewolf, too."
  My hands curled around his shoulder, moving slowly down his arm.
  "You have no idea what you're in for."
  His eyes appeared almost black in the darkness of the room, and I
could just see my reflection in them.
  "Why'd you really come here tonight, Jake?" he asked.
  An icy chill spread across my skin. He always saw into the heart of
things. Something about his innocent, uncluttered view of the world,
allowed him to see beyond all the pretenses, to what was really being
said.
  "I had the nightmare again."
  His fingers closed around mine.
  "You never have it when you're with me."
  "I know," I sighed, "that's why I came... I was hoping..." The tears were
welling in my eyes. "I told her today that I'd rather she was dead. I don't
know why I said it. Maybe if I knew she was dead and completely gone,
the nightmares would stop, and she won't bother me anymore," I saw my
pain reflected in his eyes, "bother us anymore. I didn't mean it. But I
don't know what to think."
  Seth was quiet, serious. Words strained at my throat. I wanted to say
more, but not before I heard what he had to say. How would he take
this... this breakdown over the other most important person in my life?
  "If I were her," he started, slowly, "I would want the choice of keeping
you as a friend. If you ever told me you wanted me dead..." he shook his
head slightly, "Dammit, Jake, you don't even know do you? This power
you have over people? It's not always about you and how you want
people to be... people need you too. I need you, and I'm pretty sure Bella
does too. Don't make her spend the rest of her life thinking she did
something wrong. Aren't you happy that she's getting what she wants?"
  "I guess I am."
  "Then you have to tell her that."
  We lay in silence for a long moment as I let Seth's words into the
deepest parts of my heart.

  "Tell me what it's like being a werewolf," he breathed, and closed his
eyes as he settled into the curve of my arm, resting his head on my
chest.
  I let my fingers keep trailing through his hair, along the soft skin on the
back of his neck.
  "It's like you're two things at the same time; the wolf and the human.
There's the power, the pure strength... but the vulnerability at the same
time. You have to live with knowing that at any second you could explode
into this wild beast. So to counter it, you have to be so in control, all the
time. You have to know your limits and respect them even while you're
having fun with all this strength. And you live your life to the full in every
single moment, because the next moment isn't yours. You become ruled
by the transformation."
  He shifted, and the shadow of a smile floated like a breeze across his
lips.
  "The grace... the dexterity, it's impossible to describe. You feel like the
world's strongest bodybuilder and the world's most agile gymnast all in
one. The heightened senses... oh, and the speed; faster than any car.
Running has to be the best part of it. I can't wait to go running with you,
Seth... I'll take you to Mount Ranier, to this place I found, so beautiful
that you won't believe your eyes. All these places that humans will never
see - I'll take you there..."
  His breathing had become slow, steady, barely disturbing his angelic
face. I watched him for a minute, taking in the beauty, the serenity of
this moment. Then I let my eyelids slide shut as I finally slipped into the
peaceful, dark embrace of a dreamless sleep.

  My eyes fluttered open, and for a while I had no conception of where I
was. Only the sight of his soft eyelashes, the line of his nose, bathed in
the warm glow of morning, finally brought me back.
  Then I felt the warmth, the wetness, completely engulf my cock.
  I moaned out loud in shock, and he shushed me quickly. "You'll wake
mom," he hissed.
  His lips were swiftly back on my morning wood, and I just lay back and
enjoyed the feeling. It wasn't the first time he'd done this. I'd learnt after
staying over at each others' a couple of times that Seth couldn't keep his
hands off my sleeping body. The first time, I'd been having the most
realistic wet dream I'd ever had, and apparently woke Seth by repeatedly
moaning his name in my sleep. I woke up to him watching, in awe, as I
came without even touching myself. That's what gave him the idea. It
wasn't long after that I was regularly waking up with him either jerking
me off, or with my cock in his insatiable mouth. "You get the coolest
morning wood!" he'd told me one day. I had no idea what that meant, but
I was willing to go with it.
  He knew how to push my buttons. Within a couple of minutes, I was
thrashing around. I grabbed a pillow and shoved it over my face, letting it
muffle the cries that I couldn't force down any more. Blast after blast of
my hot load filled his mouth and immediately vanished down his eager
throat. He didn't even stop sucking me when I finally laid back, limp and
gasping as I let the pillow fall to the floor.
  "Fuck! That was some wake up call," I exhaled.
  Before I knew it, his lips were on mine. His tongue pressed its way into
my mouth, giving me a taste of my own essence. My breathing became
quick, desperate, wanting to savor every last bit of his scent mingling
with mine. His lips slid off mine, and we were apart again, all too soon.
He rocked backwards and sat back on his legs, beaming at me. I couldn't
resist the opportunity. I pounced.
  He shrieked as I took him down with me, landing amongst the pillows,
laughing and trying to stop from screeching out loud as I tickled his ribs.
We fought like this, rolling around the tousled sheets until I had him
pinned down between my legs.
  "Are you going to let me return the favor?" I asked, and for effect I
traced a delicate finger down his sleek, firm wood.
  He shook his head. He was still biting his lip to keep from laughing.
  "I gotta pee first," he pulled a face.

  I let him up, and he hopped into a pair of shorts then bounded out of
the room. I collapsed back onto the bed. My mind seemed clearer now,
easier. I thought back on last night. The harshness of the words I'd said
to Bella still pulled at my heart, but I had realized that I really didn't
mean it. I really did want her back. I could only hope she was as
forgiving. I picked up the phone on Seth's desk and called Charlie. It was
probably still kind of early, but he was as happy as ever to hear my voice.
He took my message, including the part where I reminded him to stress
that I was sorry, and I didn't mean it. He said he'd make sure she called
me when she got home from her sleepover with Alice. That bit stung a
little. Knowing that she was going back to spending all her time with
them - as if they had never done anything to her - made me feel cheap.
Used. Maybe she was the forgiving type after all. Then again, maybe only
towards vampires.
  Seth came back into the room, pale and with all his usual bounciness
gone.
  "What's wrong?"
  "Mom says you've got to go," he said. "Nothing personal, but because
Leah's not well she doesn't want visitors. She's... kinda angry that I
snuck you in last night." My heart started racing.
  "I'll go talk to her," I leapt up, "I'll explain; I came here last night and
invited myself in. It's my fault, not yours."
  Seth shook his head. "Jake, you don't even have any clothes with you.
Just... just go."
  My jaw dropped, but no sound came out. The look on his face told me it
was final.
  "Call me later?" I asked, the desperation beginning to show through.
Damn it! The last thing I wanted was to get him in trouble.
  "Sure, sure," he said. Hearing my own catch phrase coming from him
warmed me up from the inside, made me feel like he'd hugged me. I
smiled at him.
  "It's not that bad," he smiled back, "she likes you, remember? She's just
stressed is all... I'll make it up to her. I'll see if she'll let me have the
night off Leah-duty and stay over at yours tonight, since she doesn't have
to get up for work tomorrow."
  He passed me the towel that I'd used last night, and I wrapped it
around myself before sneaking out the back door. I left it on a branch of
the nearest tree, and then disappeared into the woods to phase.

  Seth didn't call the rest of the day, and neither did Bella. It'd gotten to
about four o'clock, and my impatience was affecting my ability to
concentrate on homework. So I went to Sam and Emily's to chill for a bit.
The boys were there, fucking around as always. I loved my brothers, but
it really wasn't the best environment for wallowing in my own misery. I
stayed until the food ran out, and then headed home. I was greeted by an
empty house, and a note from Billy saying, "Jake, I'll be at Old Quil's
tonight working on final preparations for tomorrow's bonfire. Don't worry
about my dinner. See you later. Billy."
  Well great. I flopped down on the couch. Having the house all to myself
would've been ideal, but the silence only intensified the nagging worries
that echoed around my head. I needed a distraction. I absentmindedly
rubbed my package, grabbing at my balls, teasing my fingers over the
head of my cock. It felt good, but not right. I tried closing my eyes and
leaning my head back, then exhaling deeply and trying to fix an image in
my mind. Seth's fingers working their magic down my torso. His hands,
not mine, working over my meat. Not even a twitch. Fuck! I smacked the
armrest in frustration. The phone was on the end table, beckoning to me.
I reached over and hovered over it for a moment, deciding. If I rang,
would Sue be even angrier? Surely there was a good reason he wasn't
calling back. Then again, who should I even call? There was Bella as well.
  I decided to try her. My fingers drummed impatiently on the table while
the phone rang. Charlie answered. My heart sank. Apparently Bella had
just gone somewhere with Edward. Charlie even sounded happy about it.
Was the whole world turning into leech-lovers? I left my usual message
and hung up, then stared at nothing in particular. What now?
  Suddenly, the phone rang in my hand. The abrupt noise brought my
mind back to the present. I answered it excitedly, hoping it was Bella
calling back.
  "Hello?"
  "Hey Jake!" It was Quil. A moment of disappointment was quickly
replaced by curiosity.
  "Quil? What's up?"
  "Nothing man, nothing. Just got in to Sam's and thought I'd call to see
how you were. Embry said you were kinda down."
  I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want their pity.
  "Yeah, it's about Seth, it's about Bella... it's hard to explain."
  Fortunately, Quil wasn't the type to get into deep-and-meaningful talks.
  "Huh. Hey, you doing anything tonight?" he asked optimistically,
"Embry and I could come hang with you. All the olds are over at my
house right now, I don't wanna go back there."
  "Yeah, Billy's over there. My place is empty. Come over if you like." I'd
hoped that tonight's activities would revolve around Seth, but this
company would take my mind off worrying. And it would be good to
spend some time with my old friends.
  It didn't take long for them to get here. They must've run, because they
came to the back door. I opened it to find them naked, shorts still tied
around their ankles.
  "Come on, Jake. We're going running!" Quil grinned.

  He knew me well. Nothing took my mind off things like running did.
And this way they would be able to see exactly what was bothering me.
Not that I really wanted to talk about it, but if I had to, I was glad it was
with these guys. Jared was the only other wolf with us, and he left us
alone for the most part, just keeping up his usual circuit up to the north
and back down towards Forks. We headed in the other direction, out
towards the Cascades, to the south. We ran fast and free, not slowing to
look for trails or to conceal our tracks. We raced, fought, laughed and
chased each other through the woods. It was like old times. Three of us,
Quil, Embry and I, best friends, before all this shit started happening.
  And just like we used to, we stopped in town for pizza and chicken
wings on the way back to my house. You'd have thought the people of La
Push would be used to seeing groups of shirtless guys walking around all
the time by now, but their reactions still never failed to amuse me. We
ended up stuffed, stretched out on the couches as we tossed the last
chicken bones into the empty pizza box.
  "Is Bella coming to the bonfire tomorrow night?" Quil asked. We'd been
talking about the party - well, more about the food than anything else -
and it was inevitable that he'd bring her up. He was pretty peeved when
he found out I'd told her about the whole werewolf thing before I told
him.
  "No," I sighed, "she's still not returning my calls. I wouldn't be surprised
if she never wants to see me again."
  Embry flicked Quil a look, and I could see them tossing the hot coal
between back and forth. You ask him. No, you ask him.
  "Those things I said to her were pretty harsh, okay? Jeez," I said, "I
didn't even really mean it. So everyone can stop making me feel like shit."
  Abort interrogation. Quil shifted awkwardly.

  "And how about Seth?" Embry asked. He'd developed a special soft spot
for my relationship with Seth, like he was determined that we would be
together forever. But he had always looked out for me. Our friendship
was one that was understated on the outside, but with roots that ran
way deep down. I remembered the first time I'd kissed Embry, at my pack
initiation. The first time I'd ever kissed a guy... or anyone, really. He
shared more of how he felt about me in that moment than he ever could
in a lifetime of words. And that's just the way I liked him, strong and
taciturn. Behind that tough exterior, he could actually be really deep and
passionate when it came to certain things. And now that he'd taken Seth
and me to heart, I could be confident that he'd be there to give me
whatever advice I needed to hear.
  They'd already seen that I went over to his place in the middle of the
night, and that his mom got pretty angry when she found out the next
morning.
  "He'll be there with Sue and Leah, I guess. I don't know why he hasn't
called. He said he would."
  The atmosphere in the room grew heavy. I cleared my throat; tried to
think of a way to lighten the mood. Luckily, that was Quil's job, and he
picked up on it quickly.
  "What's it like... you know, 'being' with him?" he asked.
  I wasn't sure what he meant. We'd obviously all been with other guys,
and he would've seen in my head everything I'd ever done with Seth. He
saw the confusion in my knotted brow.
  "You know, besides the sex - all the holding and cuddling and kissing
and shit."
  "It's good." I didn't know how else to describe it.
  "It doesn't weird you out or anything?
  I was about to respond when Embry answered for me. He pushed Quil
over onto his back, and crushed their lips together. Quil's hands, frozen
for a moment in surprise, were swiftly on Embry's neck and sliding down
his bare back.

  Damn! I couldn't believe it. I was watching my two best childhood
buddies make out! Okay, I'd seen them fuck, but that was raw sex. This
was passionate, steamy. Their bodies moved as one as they expressed a
clear hunger for each other that had been suppressed for a long time. It
was... well... it was kind of hot. Embry's hands slid down Quil's rippling,
muscled side, into his shorts. Quil let out a gasp of surprise, but he
never broke their kiss. His shorts were off in a flash, and Embry was
hurriedly removing his as well. He pulled away from Quil, grinning.
  "How did that feel?"
  Quil didn't answer - he just mashed their faces back together. They sat
up, hands all over each other's taught bodies. Quil looked over at me,
directing Embry's glance in my direction as well. They beckoned me over.
I took in the two ripped, grinning boys, both unable to keep their hands
off each other. The sight alone was enough to make me drool. Embry's
eyes smoldered. He'd wanted this, bad. It occurred to me that since Quil
joined the pack, we hadn't spent time together like this, just the three of
us. Quil's hungry grin made me wonder why we hadn't done this sooner.
I dropped my own cutoffs as I crossed over to the other couch.
  Two hands were immediately on my back - one Quil's, the other
Embry's. We took turns exploring each others' bodies, something I knew
I'd wanted to do since we were younger, but never had the guts. But now,
after having seen into the darkest corners of each others' minds, there
was no point in keeping secrets, nowhere to hide our desires. Embry's
lips met mine, and his kiss was just as familiar and comfortable as
always. It was bold, strong, and told me he loved me; as a best friend, as
a blood brother. Quil joined us, the three of us struggling to make it work
at first, but quickly getting the hang of it. Shit! We'd been friends since
we were kids! Why hadn't we done this, years ago?

  Somewhere from out of the tangle of eager hands, one of the guys took
a hold of my cock. I grabbed Quil's, and I supposed he grabbed Embry's,
because suddenly we were jerking each other off. Our faces were inches
from one another, our heated breath mingling.
  "Fuck, I love you guys," Quil panted.
  "I love you too, buddy," Embry grinned.
  "Yeah, same here," I chipped in, "Guys, let's never stop doing this okay?
Brothers forever."
  We slapped-and-tapped our free hands together, and then, without a
word and as though by gravity, we all shared one more deep, long kiss. It
seemed like there were too many hands, with all of us taking in the
wonders of each other's body. Embry's; lean, athletic and powerful. Quil's
was robust, broader, and more solid. Mine, halfway between the two. Our
hands wandered over each other's cocks in turn. We'd seen them, felt
them before, sure, but we let ourselves really discover each other this
time, the weight, the heat, the feeling of holding your friend's manhood in
the palm of your hand. We resumed our stroking with even greater
intensity. Every moan, every gasp from the other two boys brought me
closer to blowing. It wasn't just that I was getting beaten off. It was the
pleasure that came from knowing that I was helping my two best buds
get off at the same time.
  "Gonna cum..." Embry hissed. Quil never broke his stare - he watched
every single flinch and grimace cross Embry's face as our friend shot his
hot wad onto the both of us. That must've set Quil off, because he was
next. With a grunt, he sprayed his wet load with an incredible force,
covering all three of us. I was on the edge, the last one. I watched as Quil
leaned into Embry and lapped his own still-warm jizz off Embry's bicep,
and that was all I needed. I blew a massive load almost straight upwards,
hitting myself in the face, but getting Quil as well. We didn't take our
hands off each other until we went soft, and then we collapsed back onto
the couches. Our legs were crossed over one another's, our arms splayed
over each other's bare chests and stomachs. Quil started to chuckle, and
it was only a matter of time before Embry and I gave in as well. And for a
moment all my worries were forgotten. It wasn't like being with Seth, but
I'd never felt more at home, all the same.

  Ring.
  Ring.
  Then more ringing.
  For fuck's sake, would that phone never stop?
  Oh. Right.
  I crawled out of bed and lurched out into the hallway.
  "Hello?" I answered groggily.
  "Jacob?" It was Bella...
  Wait, Bella?
  "Bella!" I became aware that I was jumping up and down on the spot.
And probably looked stupid. Oh well. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry!" I went on
to apologize, gushing out everything I wanted to say to her, everything
that had been locked behind the dam in my head just waiting to gush
out at the first opportunity.
  "I'm not mad. You're forgiven," she said. I sighed with relief and babbled
on. It turned out that there was a problem on her end. She wanted me to
talk to the bloodsucker. That immediately got my hackles up. The
conversation with Edward was curt. He was being polite, so I figured I
should as well. Even though my hands were balled into fists the entire
time. A vampire they didn't recognize had been in Bella's house. Been
going through her things. And they let it slip right through. Now he
wanted me to go up and have a sniff around. Stupid leeches. This was
why you should never send one of them to do a werewolf's work.
 I reminded Bella of that fact when he handed the phone back to her. She
didn't like the idea of me taking matters into my own hands.
  "Oh please, Bella," I laughed, cutting her off. Then I hung up.
  The boys were right behind me, sitting up anxiously on the couches
where they had been sleeping. I must've woken them up. There was no
doubt that, with their hearing, they would've heard every word of the
conversation. Embry's lips were pulled back over his teeth in the
beginnings of a snarl. Quil was more composed, but his eyes were
seething with anger.
  "Guys, chill. I'm just going to check this out. I won't be gone long. Tell
Sam what's going on, and that I'm working on getting the treaty lines
changed so we can run closer to Forks."
  I was out the door before they could protest. Maybe it was the
excitement of a fresh trail to hunt. Maybe I just couldn't wait to see Bella.

  There wasn't much to be found at Bella's house. A new scent, not one I
recognized. But that was all. I cut my hand, and that was the highlight of
the visit. It was great seeing Bella again. I felt all the worries melt from
my mind, taking an enormous weight of my shoulders. Even just
standing around doing mundane tasks, washing dishes and chatting, it
felt like old times. Until, inevitably, the topic of the ticking time-bomb
that was her mortality came up. I guess I overreacted, and accidentally
sliced my palm open. Bella freaked, just a bit more than was necessary.
  I decided to distract her by doing what had been on my mind for the
past two weeks, though I'd never given it any direct thought. I invited her
to the bonfire. I wanted her there again, on our turf, in the company
where I could just be me and she could just be Bella, and we wouldn't
have to worry about mind-reading or fortune-telling bloodsuckers. It was
probably also a good time to tell her about Seth and me. Although I
wasn't sure how I would get the words out of my mouth, or if I'd even be
able to do it.
  I spent all the rest of the day running Paul's shift for him. He had been
the only one running this shift, and that was perfect for me. I needed the
head space. The question of how to tell Bella about Seth never left my
mind once. And then there was the issue of Seth himself. I hadn't spoken
to him since yesterday morning, in his room. It was possibly the longest
time we'd gone without speaking to each other since we'd started going
out. He'd be at the bonfire tonight; would he talk to me then? Why
wouldn't he? But then again, if he would, why hadn't he called me yet?

  I finally met up with Bella just before sunset at the pre-arranged site on
the treaty line. The vamp parked his car on his side, and she pushed her
bike across. The second she was on Quiluete land, I ran up and hugged
her. I hoped he was reading my thoughts right then, because he would've
been fuming. She was mine for the evening, and there was nothing he
could do about it. We drove back to my place, dropped off the bike, and
then headed out to the cliffs where the bonfire was being held. Everyone
was already there - Billy, Sam and the gang, Mr. Ateara, and of course
Sue, Leah and Seth.
  Leah looked a lot better; as well as she could look, anyway, with that
permanent scowl on her face. I watched Seth as I walked into the circle,
checking his face for any sign, any hint of what he was thinking. His
expression was blank as I approached, then his eyes met mine for a
moment. And they were empty. Nothing. No happiness, but no hatred
either. It was like we had never happened. Like he didn't even know who
I was. Even when we were just friends, he would've come bounding up to
me to say hi. There wasn't so much as that. I turned away, I couldn't
bear to look at him any more. Bella and I took our seats on the opposite
side of the circle, as far as I could be from Seth. I wondered how it would
look, me sitting there with her. Would he be jealous? I hoped so. I wanted
some sort of response, any sort of emotional reaction from him; anything
other than that indifferent blindness that burned into me deeper than
any anger could. Anger, at least, was a passionate emotion. It would
mean that he felt something towards me, albeit negative. Indifference...
well... did he really not care anymore? The thought made my heart sink
to the floor. I gnawed away on my food in relative silence.

  Billy told the stories, the ones I'd heard a hundred times. Those who
hadn't heard them before watched, transfixed. Bella seemed to be in a
trance. Emily was taking notes. Seth, who I was watching intently,
almost seemed to be grinning. My glances flicked between him and
Jared, watching my pack-brother as he stared longingly into the eyes of
Kim, the girl he'd imprinted upon. Finally, the pain of seeing those two
things side by side tore me apart, and my gaze went into the depths of
the fire. I tried to re-create the feeling of having Seth by my side. The
memorized sensations came floating to the surface - the feeling of his
warm skin, nearly as warm as mine now; his scent, the beating of his
heart; the tiny movements in his muscles as his fingers interweaved
themselves with mine. I snapped back into reality as Billy finished the
story. I turned to Bella, she was asleep beside me.
  The circle disbanded quietly, solemnly. The women went home. Billy
and Mr. Ateara spoke with Sam for a short while, and then took their
leave as well. Only the pack, Seth, Bella and I were left. I carried Bella to
my car, and turned back to look at Sam, and Seth behind him, looking
small and so out of place. What was that in his eyes? He was too far
away to tell. But for a moment I thought he might want me back. Sam
nodded at me. He would wait till I returned before he began the
initiation.
  I rang did Bella a favor and rang the vamp I drove back towards Forks.
We met at the halfway point, and I let Bella return to him. He took her
into his arms, and in that instant, the two images lined up. Seth with
Sam. Bella with Edward. The thought sent a ripple of rage through me. I
needed to get back as quickly as I could. I didn't like leaving Seth alone
with the pack, counting down to the start of his initiation, and I grit my
teeth the whole drive back. Against the feeling of emptiness, that they
were both no longer mine. The feeling of envy, that they were both now
someone else's.

  The fire made eerie, flickering shadows across the faces of the pack,
who were still sitting around it when I returned to the cliffs. Seth was
seated in between Sam and Embry, and I was glad those two were closest
to him. He seemed less scared, almost comfortable in the circle of big
boys. The others turned around as soon as they heard me approaching,
crunching along the gravel path when I was still a good couple of
hundred yards away. Seth's eyes only flicked up when I came into view,
and I saw them narrow into a smile. I sighed with relief. Everything was
ok. I went straight for him, so eager to take him into my arms again, to
just have him close to me.
  Sam stepped in between us. He shot me a warning look, a direct order
from the Alpha that I understood immediately. Seth's initiation had
begun, and we had to follow tradition, the order of things that were laid
out for us in the Legends. I bowed my head, moved back and joined my
brothers in the circle. A chill wind swept across the cliff-top.
  Seth's expression immediately grew worried. I could hear his heart
speeding up; see the muscles tightening in his throat.
  "It'll be okay, Seth. Just do as Sam says," I reassured him.
  Sam turned around to face him, and put a strong hand on his shoulder.
Unconsciously, I felt a tingling in my own shoulder, remembering the
heat radiating from deep within that hand, the weight of it, and the
weight of the authority that it represented.
  "Jacob has told you everything, I assume," Sam said, his voice low and
commanding, the sound of it blending with the wind and the growling
waves below. I shuddered. As much as Sam had become like a brother to
me, I never got used to that voice. It still raised a deep sense of fear from
inside me; like I was a kid who'd done something wrong. And I hated that
he was talking to Seth in that voice even more. The fear brought
something else up with it - I wanted him to stop. I wanted to run forward
and pull Seth away. I would challenge Sam for the role of Alpha if I had
to. The role that was rightfully mine.
  Quil grabbed my arm and spun me around. He was shaking his head
ever so slightly. He was right. This wasn't the time. In any case,
everything would be fine. Sam was no threat. I just had to put my
jealousy aside.

  I must have missed the whole exchange, because the next thing I saw
was Sam pushing his jeans to the ground, then stepping out of them. His
massive, steel-hard pole stuck upwards, inches away from Seth's face,
already dripping pre-cum. Seth turned, searching for me, and our eyes
met for a second. Then Sam's powerful hand was on his cheek, turning
him back to face him, setting his attention squarely on the task in front
of him. It looked so wrong, the hulking figure of Sam towering like
Goliath over Seth, on his knees, small and unsure. Seth's lips trembled,
parted as though he was about to say something...
  And then he took Sam into his mouth.
  I flinched.
  He didn't need to be coerced into it. He immediately started sucking
hungrily on Sam's meat, taking more of it than I thought possible. It
occurred to me that when the rest of us had done this, it had been our
first times. It was definitely not Seth's. He was blowing Sam like a pro,
and I knew exactly how good that mouth of his could feel. I was gritted
my teeth, and looked over at the other guys. They were already getting
into it. Quil's hands were down the front of his cutoffs, and the other
boys were rubbing growing bulges in theirs.
  "Goddamn," Sam breathed, steadying himself on Seth's shoulders.
  Embry, unable to keep his hands off his stiff rod any longer, kicked his
sweats off and started pumping his bad boy with long strokes. He took a
step towards Seth, so close they were almost touching, and I followed
with a defensive stride forward. The other guys were closing in as well,
their breathing hot and heavy just over my shoulder. I fought the urge to
dive down, grab Seth and bolt out of here. The image still didn't gel in my
mind; these massive, horned-up boys and my little Seth in the middle of
the circle. Sam's head lolled back as he let out another guttural moan. A
wide, relaxed smile played across his face, and he shook his head as if to
clear it.
  "Fuck," he laughed, "this kid is good! You taught him well, Jacob."
  My fingernails dug into my palms.
  Sam could see my torment, but he knew he was in control of this
situation. And he was ready to fan the fire.
  "That's it, Seth," he cooed. "One hell of a born cocksucker you are. Or
did you get this good with practice?" He toyed with Seth's hair for a
moment, and then glared up at me with eyes so dark that they reflected
the flickering firelight, and my gaze fell to my feet. Sam and I had
debated about whether I should let Seth give me blowjobs. He'd decided
it wasn't a good idea for Seth to be ingesting werewolf cum before the
proper initiation, but I won that argument, and did what I wanted
anyway. Sam wasn't happy that I defied his orders, and now he was
rubbing his revenge in my face.

  "Ahhh...!" Sam moaned. Seth slurped up and down the length of his
cock, worshipping it, treated every drop of the clear fluid that dripped
from the end like nectar from the gods. His looked up adoringly at the
taller boy, giving him the warm, sunny smile that I thought was reserved
only for me. My heart sank. The other guys were all out of their clothes,
furiously jacking their massive rods. I was still fully dressed, half-hard,
but only subconsciously. The thought of seeing Seth with another guy
won over any desires I might have felt.
  Hands started pulling at my clothes. Quil, his head just over my
shoulder, his hot breath in my ear, lifted my shirt over my head. At the
same time, Embry pulled my shorts to the ground. Quil reached around
from behind me and started stroking my hardening dick with a hand
slick with his pre-cum. His other hand joined Embry's lips in their
exploration of my chest, while he drew his own tongue hungrily across
my collarbone.
  "Come on, Jake," he whispered into my ear, "do it for Seth. You want
him to be as strong as possible, don't you?"
  He was interrupted by the low rumble of Sam's voice. Sam grabbed the
back of Seth's head, pushing him down as far as he would go on his
cock.
  "Fuck... take it, Seth!" he growled, and then came. His body trembled
again and again as he filled Seth's mouth with his seed. Seth began to
choke, unable to drink it all down. Sam didn't seem like he was about to
stop, and all I could focus on was the flexing of Seth's throat as he
downed mouthful after mouthful of that life-altering juice. Then it was all
over. Sam took Seth's face in his giant hands, and brought him to his
feet. He was still a couple of heads taller than the younger boy. His
fingers scooped up the remaining cum, dribbling down from the edges of
Seth's mouth, then offered it to him to finish off. The look of complete
adulation never left Seth's face as he lapped eagerly at Sam's fingers. An
irrational ripple of anger washed through me, and Quil quickly tightened
his grip on my body in response.
  "Don't," he snapped.

  Jared was already gasping, hard and fast, and Seth knew exactly what
to do. He was on his knees in front of Jared just in time for the thick
ropes of cum to start pouring into his mouth. Jared jerked out at least a
half-dozen blasts of his hot load before Seth finally swallowed it all in one
go. Some of it had dribbled onto his shirt, and Sam wasted no time in
lifting the soiled garment off him. In the firelight, Seth's dark skin was
almost glowing. The ridges and valleys of his long, lean muscles showed
up in even greater relief. He looked hotter than I'd ever seen. His eyes
had a wild quality to them, like he was drunk on the frenzy of having this
circle of boys paying libations to his waiting mouth. I couldn't bear to
look at him for long. This wasn't the Seth I knew.
  Embry pulled Quil and I into a tight ring around Seth, our legs
brushing against each other as we leaned over Seth's kneeling form.
Seth's hand was in his pants, tugging excitedly at his own hard dick.
Quil's hand was the first on my chest, and I returned the favor to Embry
on the other side of me. I drew my fingers across his hard nipples, and
his body shivered underneath my touch. I looked over and saw that he
was ready to blow. He bucked against his hand as he fired a succession
of quick shots across Seth's face, moaning and cussing until he finally
started shooting blanks. Seth licked what he could from around his
mouth, and then sucked the rest off Embry's cum-slicked fingers.

  Quil had started beating his meat faster by then. He'd been holding
back all this time, working up a bigger and bigger load. He gripped Seth's
head in his powerful hand, not allowing any room for error, and went off
like a fire hose while pressed right onto Seth's tongue. His cries of
pleasure rang over the crashing waves and echoed off the rocky outcrops
in the distance. Quil had always been louder, more vocal than the rest of
us. He grinned mischievously as Seth licked the last drops off the tip of
his cock, and smeared the moist head over the boy's tongue.
  It was just Paul and I left now. Paul pushed his way into the circle, and
I could tell it was a race to the finish. I couldn't bring myself to the edge,
as much as I tried. Sure, I was hard, and jacking like I'd done a
thousand times, but I just wasn't feeling it. Even when Seth's eyes met
mine, his eager, hungry grin only made me feel more and more like
something was wrong - like I didn't belong here. To the rest of the guys,
this was just about getting off, dumping their loads in some waiting hole.
I was the only one here who wanted to feel the warmth of Seth's body, his
silken skin flowing across mine as we moved as one, my cries muffled by
his urgent lips as I shot into his familiar hands.

  I snapped out of my thoughts when Quil's hand closed over mine. His
fist enclosed mine as he helped jack me faster, bringing me closer to the
edge before Paul. This wasn't really a race; that would've just been
pointless. But I knew Quil was the competitive type, and he hated losing
to Paul most of all. Paul's hand was a blur as he pumped his lean pole
with enthusiasm. He knew he was going to get there first. His face
scrunched up, his shallow breaths hissed through clenched teeth. With a
loud cry of "Fuccckkk...!" he unloaded his massive wad all over Seth's
face. Even as Seth tried his best to catch all of Paul's precious seed in his
mouth, thick globs dripped off his nose and onto his chin. He wasted no
time in wiping it up with the back of his hand and lapping it off with
relish.
  He turned his attention to me, the only one who still hadn't cum. Quil
was still trying his best to crank a load out of me, but it wasn't working. I
wanted to tell him to piss off, leave me alone. All I wanted to do now was
leave. And I wasn't sure anymore if I wanted to take Seth with me.
Suddenly, I felt my arms being pulled around behind my back. I turned
over my shoulder and growled. Quil and Embry had an arm each, locking
them tightly behind me. My cock bounced out of my hand, and then was
suddenly engulfed by overwhelming warmth and wetness. Seth was
sucking me. He licked my shaft from base to tip, grinning at me. I
struggled against the grip of the two big guys holding me back, but while
I would've had no trouble overpowering one, there was no use fighting
against them both.

  My bones were turning to jelly, anyway, thanks to Seth. I curled my
toes, digging my feet into the soft ground as I strained from the intense
feelings that were ready to burst out from my groin. Seth sounded like he
was choking, and I grew worried. He'd never been able to take more than
the first few inches of my long rod into his mouth. It was all he needed;
he could work his magic with just the tip alone if he had to. But the
image of him with almost the entire of Sam's monster dick down his
throat came back to me. At the same moment, I felt the head of my cock
ram the back of Seth's throat. His lips were brushing against my tight
sack.
  "Sweet... fucking... Jesus...!" I gasped, and I was glad Quil and Embry
had my weight, or I would've fallen into a heap. Seth was having trouble
keeping me that far down, but I could feel each and every muscle in his
throat as the massaged the full length of my meat. Shit.
  "Gonna cum, Seth! Dude, I'm gonna cum!" I cried. He squinted through
the tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes from the strain,
and the look in his burning eyes was definitely hungry.
  I threw my head back, and saw stars. Well, yeah, I was outside, and it
was nighttime. But fuck! I'd never cum so hard in my life. It felt like I was
turning inside-out with each jet of cum that I blasted directly into his
throat; each shot carrying the essence that was going to make him as
strong, as powerful, as fearsome as the rest of us. He tried to swallow,
which was completely unnecessary, but with each contraction, he coaxed
yet another few drops from me, until I was going limp in his mouth. His
tongue trailed over my cock as he drew me out, lingering at the very end,
like he didn't want this to end. And I knew he didn't.

  I was so engrossed in his eyes, the satisfied smirk on his face, that I
hardly noticed when Sam knelt down next to him and yanked off his
shorts. With a persuasive hand, he pushed Seth onto his back on the
ground. The other boys swarmed in around him, all eager to get their
hands on his lithe, exposed body. Sam jacked him off, his too-big hand
somehow looking just the right size around the smaller boy's member. I
realized Seth must've grown even more, in just the few days since I'd
seen him last.
  His body arched, he writhed, his fists clenched and unclenched as he
became overwhelmed by the five boys, each working a different part of
him. He was a surrounded by a blur of desperate hands and tongues, all
wanting to touch his young muscles, to taste his velvety skin. Of course.
The pack had been seeing him for two weeks now through my eyes. Every
livid memory, every fantasy I'd ever had of Seth was now also theirs. And
they couldn't have him until tonight. I couldn't imagine how frustrating it
must've been for them. They wanted him now in every way I did. Seth
was moaning like an animal. He'd gone almost completely still, just
letting the five boys take over every aspect of his body. Only the
quickening rising and falling of his chest, the sound of his hastening
breath, gave any warning.
  Sam jerked back as the first ropes of cum spattered over the five boys
still greedily working over Seth. He cried out, unabated, with each shot of
his teen jizz. The boys were getting completely soaked, but they didn't
stop with their exploration of his body; not until he'd slumped into a
whimpering heap, completely spent. Sam pushed them off him one by
one, until it was just him leaning over Seth's limp body. He brought their
faces closer. Their noses touched. Then Sam was kissing Seth, his
tongue forcing Seth's lips apart.

  I felt the unmistakable ripple of rage tear up my spine.
  Seth's hand found Sam's cheek. He wrapped his legs seductively
around the bigger boy while he grasped at Sam's heavily-muscled back,
their bodies crushing against each other.
  I growled, and the sound was low and chilling.
  Sam slowly turned to look at me. The ocean wind tossed his hair
around. A sneer tugged at the corner of his lips, still glistening with the
wetness of Seth's tongue.
  "Phase back, boy. You don't want to start this."
  My trembling lips pulled back over my teeth. I growled again.
  "Permission to phase, Sam?" Paul asked in an agitated tone.
  "No need," Sam replied coolly, "Jacob, phase back. That's an order!"
  I didn't have a choice. I was back on two legs, still just as angry, but
unable to do anything about it. I thought to lunge forward, grab Sam and
pry him off Seth, then realized my feet were stuck where they were, like I
had been bolted to the ground. Sam and Seth got up, the Alpha never
taking his glare off me. Seth started to come forward, but Sam shoved
him back.
  "Is there a problem?" Sam asked, his composure still serene. I could've
spat in his smug face.
  "Don't. Fucking. Kiss. My. Boyfriend," I hissed at him.
  "Your 'boyfriend'?" Sam scoffed. He looked around at the circle of guys
and chuckled darkly, "did you hear that, boys? He doesn't like that we've
turned his 'boyfriend' into our little cum-slut."
  Paul laughed nervously, and Jared joined in for a moment. Then both
fell silent again, uneasy.
  Sam's glare was back on me.
  "What are you going to do about it, huh?"
  I sent a punch flying through the air, and it came to an involuntary halt
an inch away from Sam's left eye. Just like I knew would happen. My fist
and all the muscles in my arm quaked, but couldn't do it. I flexed my
fingers flexed in frustration.
  Sam blinked once, and then grinned.
  "That's what I thought." He glanced around the circle at the sheepish
faces of the pack. "Guys, let me remind you that Seth is one of us now.
Jacob might like to cuddle him to sleep at night, but he is the newest
member of the pack, which means he is ours to do with as we please." He
saved me for last, "And don't let Jake here stop you. Is that understood?"
  Muted "yes, Sam's" came from around the group. Sam's hard eyes, still
trained on me, turned questioning; boring holes into my forehead.
  "Yes, Sam," I muttered.
  He nodded curtly.
  "Quil, Embry, take Seth back to my house, get him cleaned up, and
then wait for me there. Jared, Paul, you're running until dawn."
  The five of them moved off briskly, leaving me with the Alpha. I tried to
take a step, but I was still bolted to the ground by his order. He walked a
circle around me. You could cut the air between us with a knife. The
muscles in his shoulders and arms kept tensing. He was grinding his
teeth.

  "Why did you do that?" I barked.
  "So it doesn't happen later," he said softly. His voice was smoothed
over, calm. The voice of the Sam I knew and loved. He put his hand on
my shoulder, and I could move my feet again.
  "What?" I choked out, confused.
  "Think about it," he said as he returned to face me, "it's free reign
around here. Everyone fucks everyone else; none of us gives a shit about
anyone's feelings, 'cos we're all friends. Toss a couple into that equation,"
his made a gesture of his two hands moving apart, "and you get 'us' and
'them'. Everyone's going to be afraid to go near Seth, in case they offend
you; and the same with you, for fear of offending Seth." I reluctantly had
to concede that he was making sense.
  "And the way you blew up tonight," he continued, "imagine if that
happened and I wasn't there to stop you." I grimaced. "Then what would
happen to Seth? If you caught him with one of the other guys, you'd get
angry at him, you wouldn't forgive him... He's going to have the same
wants and needs as the rest of us. You can't stop him. But if you trust
him, you can be sure he'll do the right thing. I'm sure he already expects
the same of you."
  My heart thumped to the bottom of my gut. Yeah, Sam was right. I'd
been fucking around with the boys this whole time, even though I was
with Seth. What made me think that I could have him to myself once he
joined the pack?
  "Did you have to do it tonight, though, in front of everyone?" I sighed.
  "'Course," he laughed, "It got the message across, didn't it? You blew up
nicely, and everyone saw. Now they know better than to fuck with you,
even after I gave them the order to disregard you. No-one is going to go
out of their way to piss you off. They'll get used to you and Seth being a
thing, in time. We'll figure out boundaries, what's alright with you two,
what isn't... It'll all sort itself out."
  I wasn't entirely happy. It wasn't like everything was suddenly fixed.
But everything was becoming a lot clearer. He spread his arms out
towards me, cocked his head to one side. I hugged him, our bodies
wrapped in each other's strong arms.

  We put our discarded clothes back on, kicked some sand over the fire,
and headed back to his house to meet up with the others. Inevitably, the
talk of his second initiation came up. Sam didn't have any part in it, so
he was unfazed. I fought hard to subdue my feelings about the other
guys fucking Seth. Even we hadn't gotten that far yet.
  "You haven't told him about it yet, have you?" Sam asked.
  He knew the answer. Or rather, he'd have known if I told Seth. I stayed
silent, lost in my worries and concerns.
  "I thought so," he mumbled. After a moment of hesitation, he spoke up
again. "You can't tell him about it."
  I snapped up.
  "Why the hell not?"
  "It's hazing, Jacob. What's the point of hazing someone if they're
expecting it?"
  "So I can't tell him, at all?"
  "Not a word. I forbid it." With that, I felt the invisible, mental iron clamp
close down on my tongue. The cogs in my brain immediately started
turning again. Seth's second initiation would take place the first time he
phased, no matter when that was. For me, it had been the next day. I
was told it could take nearly two weeks, as in Jared's case. There was a
possibility that there was still time. Still time to work things out so that
my first time with Seth, his first time with anyone, wouldn't have to be in
front of the pack.
  But now I'd have to do it without mentioning the group initiation. Well,
surely it can't be that difficult. How hard could it be to get a teenage boy
to have sex? What was really annoying me was that our relationship was
now being pressured by pack dynamics. I felt sick to the core. Nothing
would ever be the same again for us. We were no longer 'us'. We were an
extension of the pack. My jaw was tight, and I didn't doubt that Sam
could feel the tension in the air between us.
  Sam's house was just up ahead, but I wasn't ready to go in. I needed
more time to think, more time to process everything that had happened,
and everything that was going to be happening from here on out. I
turned and ran before Sam had a chance to stop me, and I phased as
soon as I hit the tree line. Jared and Paul's initial thoughts were
confused, but they left me alone when they saw that all I wanted was a
little head space. Since they had the reservation's borders pretty much
covered, I turned southeast and headed towards Forks to run circles
around Bella's house.
  Seeing the old, familiar house calmed me down. All those feelings of an
easier, simpler time came rushing back. I found myself wondering again
how it might've been, if it was just her and I, if they had never come
back. The constant blur of leaves and branches whooshing past me, the
thud of my paws against the moist ground, the still night air, they all
finally lulled me into another world, until I was completely outside time
and space. With only the slightest idea left of who I was, where I was and
what I was doing, I felt myself hand over completely to the wolf inside
me, and I'd never felt so at peace.

  Before I knew it, the sun was rising, all too soon; and in the growing
light of morning, I turned back towards La Push. It was Monday, and
werewolf or not, I had to go to school. On an impulse, I decided to take a
detour past the Clearwaters'. The forest came up to fairly close to the
backs of the line of houses, and I ran along the edge of the trees, not
wanting to approach the houses any closer. I picked out the familiar little
house out of the row of nearly-identical buildings. The curtains of Seth's
window were pulled back, and someone was moving inside. It was him. I
slowed my run to a lope, making sure he'd see me. He stepped out onto
the back porch a moment later.
  I went ten yards into the cover of the trees, phased back to human,
pulled my shorts on. When his house came back into view, he was
already waiting for me. He leaned against the post, relaxed. He seemed
completely unaffected by the cold morning air, wearing only a white
cotton t-shirt, which rustled gently in the breeze, and white boxer-briefs.
The nearly-horizontal light of the early morning sun cast a brilliant glow
across his dark skin, contrasting with the radiant white of his clothes.
Underneath the thin fabric, the curved lines of his young muscles were
brought into sharp relief, as was the bulge in his briefs. He waved to me,
and the long, lean muscles in his arm and his globed shoulders flexed in
the warm, golden light, while his shirt clung to the rounded mounds of
his strong chest. I'd thought he had a kind of youthful, boyish beauty
before, but now, he was actually breathtaking.

  I pulled him into my arms as soon as I was on the step. He buried his
head in my shoulder, his skin warm to my touch. He had changed; there
was no doubt about it. He was bigger, taller, his grip was stronger. As I
nestled my nose into his hair and breathed in his scent, there was
something else mixed in with the familiar smell - a kind of roundness? It
was like newly chopped wood, or moist earth, in addition to his usual
smell of rainwater. I realized he was taking deep breaths, experiencing
my scent as well, for the first time with his new, heightened senses.
Every member of our pack had a certain, distinct scent. Each impossible
to describe, though they would sometimes remind you of other smells, for
a fleeting moment. We were all unified by one particular note in our
scent, which we immediately recognized as being that of our pack.
  We could also smell good or bad to each other to varying degrees, which
came down to a matter of personal taste. Sam had always smelt the most
attractive to me, after Seth, of course, even though the others always
described his scent as fairly neutral, characterized only by the strong,
masculine presence of the Alpha. I wondered what Seth would think of
my scent? We spent a long moment together on the porch, just holding
each other, as the steam from each breath evaporated away into the
crisp morning air.

  There was enough time to go by my house before going to school. Seth
got dressed, said bye to Sue and Leah, and we walked the short distance
to mine. It was still early. The sun had barely cleared the trees, and the
grass, crystalline with icy dew, crunched under our feet. But Seth walked
by my side in just a T-shirt and jeans. We didn't talk about the time we'd
spent apart. It was too easy for me to convince myself that nothing had
happened. That everything he did must've had a clear explanation and
was therefore forgiven. He was back to his usual bubbly self, and I didn't
want to spoil his good mood by asking the downer of a question that was
bugging me. At my house, I got dressed properly for school while he sat
on my bed, kicking his feet around like nothing had changed, like he was
still the kid he'd always been and not a werewolf-to-be. We arrived at
school just as the car park was starting to fill with students. There were
a few cars, belonging to the kids who lived further out at the edge of the
reservation. As we passed through the chain-link fence, I took Seth's
hand.
  He looked at me, a momentary flicker of fear.
  "We're official now, right?" I said, tightening my grip.
  He squeezed my hand back, flashed a brief smile, and looked straight
ahead.
  I watched the heads turn one by one as we walked towards the school.
Senior girls stumbled out of the way to let us pass. The faces of a circle of
jocks turned from mocking to slightly uneasy as they took in Seth, who
looked more dangerous than any freshman ever could. I thought of
turning to glare back at them, but decided not to give them the pleasure
of my attention. Murmurs started in our wake. Quil and Embry were at
the top of the path, leaning against one of the portables. I let go of Seth's
hand, wrapping my arm around his shoulders instead. Quil grinned at
me.
  "Way to make an entrance," he smirked.
  I didn't want to make a big deal of this. This wasn't about showing off,
after all. This was about establishing some tiny bit of normality in my
far-too-secretive life. If people had issues with me, that was their
problem. They were more than welcome to take it up with me if they
chose.
  Embry knew I'd never been one to care about what other people thought
of me, so he just carried on the conversation like nothing was different.
And he was right. Nothing was.

  The days passed without Seth showing any further signs of
transformation. He got a bit taller, a bit more solid, but was still nowhere
near the size of any of the rest of us. There was no sign of the fever and
aching pains that came just before the first phasing either. But we knew
that this could take up to two weeks, like in Jared's case. He wouldn't
phase until there was some sort of catalyst, and right now there was
nothing to agitate him or set him off. And there was no hurry. So we
waited.
  We were sitting at the little table in my house, bent over our respective
homework. Sue had salvaged two chairs from a yard sale on her last trip
to Port Angeles, and had given them to us so that we'd have seats for
guests, when it wasn't just Billy and I at the table. The whole set up
made it look like a family lived here now... almost.
  Suddenly, there was a sharp snap, and a shower of blue droplets
spattered across the table. I glanced up. Seth had broken the pen in his
hand, the second one today, the fifth one this week. I sighed and wiped
the table down with the paper towels we had readily at hand. Frustrated,
he scrunched up the page he'd been writing on, now artistically blotched
with ink but essentially useless. I handed him a new pen from the box
we'd picked up on the way home from school. He started scribbling the
math problems on a new sheet of paper.
  "I can't solve these! They're too hard!" Seth whined.
  "You've just got to concentrate," I said in a soothing voice, "you were
doing them fine just last week."
  "I'm so easily distracted now," he sighed, and dropped his head into his
palms. It was true. I knew how hard it was to focus on one thing when
you could pick up every sound, every smell in a two-hundred-yard
radius. Right now there was a pie being baked across the road, apple and
cinnamon. The smell of that alone was enough to distract even me.
  "Maybe we should take a break?" I asked.
  "Okay!" Seth agreed eagerly. He'd crossed down to the couch and
flopped down on it before I even had a chance to close my book. I
squeezed in next to him on the tiny loveseat, and half of me was on the
armrest.

  He flicked the TV on, but it was the usual late afternoon garbage. Kid's
shows, cooking shows, and a rerun of an old sitcom, which was what
Seth finally settled on. I didn't even notice what the show was; my brain
was a hundred miles away. Billy would be out until dinnertime, when
he'd catch a ride here with Sue, and we'd all have dinner together. Leah
wasn't going to be joining us. In fact, that was the whole cause of Seth's
absence last weekend.
  With Leah sick, and at her wit's end, Sue took her two children with her
back to her hometown of Hoquiam, to the medicine woman who was
renowned in the region for taking care of unusual and unexplainable
illnesses. Coincidentally, she had been the one who saw Emily through
her recovery from the injuries that Sam had given her. After keeping her
under observation overnight, the woman had decided that Leah's case
was truly unique, and insisted that Leah be returned to Quileute land,
even if it meant that she herself would have to travel up to La Push to
keep watch over her. So Leah was confined to her room, and the
medicine woman stayed by her side night and day, burning strange-
smelling bunches of dried plants, and concocting bowls of even stranger
liquids that came to replace Leah's meals. She'd barely made it to the
bonfire; all advice went against her leaving the house, but she so wanted
to go.
  Seth had explained this all to me as soon as he had the chance, along
with his strange behavior at the bonfire. Apparently, he'd thought that
the whole council, including his mom, was going to be there for his
initiation. To say he was relieved when he found out that wasn't the case
was an understatement.

  Needless to say, with Leah sick in bed surrounded by a cloud of noxious
fumes, he didn't want to spend much time at his house. Sue had
returned to a more liberal state of mind, now that the stress over Leah's
health had been somewhat lessened. She actually preferred that Seth
slept at my place, which gave Leah and the bizarre old woman some
much-needed space in their little house.
  "Seth," I began. He "mmm-ed" in response. "Your mom and Billy won't
be coming over until six-thirty."
  He nodded, checking the time on the clock on the wall. It was four.
  I gritted my teeth in frustration at how hard this was turning out to be.
He continued to just stare at the screen, ignoring even my hand on his
leg. I tried again during the next ad break.
  "Seth," I said, "I've got something to show you in my room."
  He looked over at me this time, his eyebrows flattening in suspicion.
There wasn't much to see in my room at all... and surely nothing I
could've added between when he slept in there last night and now.
Nevertheless, he let me take his hand and lead him the few steps
through the small doorway and into the tiny room that was mostly
occupied by my bed.

  He was a bright kid, and I knew it wouldn't take him that long to cotton
on. The look of realization was already in his wide chocolate eyes. I
pulled him down onto the mattress with me, our faces inches apart by
the time the mattress stopped bouncing. Suddenly, there were too many
clothes between us, and we couldn't rip them off quickly enough. Seth's
lips were already exploring my chest and stomach as I struggled to pull
my T-shirt over my head. He kicked his jeans and underwear off his
ankles and then bowled me over onto the bed with no effort at all. Wow,
he'd gotten strong! I was getting hard at the sight of his lean, muscular
body pinning me down as he lapped at my nipples, the ridges of my abs,
the creases that led down to my stiffening rod.
  I grabbed his shoulders before he could get any further, and flipped us
over. Lithe muscles pulsed under his velvet skin, in the curve of his
shoulders and the defined mounds of his chest. I explored the flat plain
of his stomach, the faintest hint of a six-pack just beginning to appear.
Then I followed the smooth lines down to the good stuff.
  He sucked in a quick breath when my tongue made first contact with
his now pretty impressive cock. Wrapping my hand around it, I let myself
get a better feel of its size, how it felt warm and heavy in my fist.
Goddamn. He was a man now, no doubt about it. I jerked him off, slowly,
sensually, letting each deliberate stroke carry a surge of electricity that
tensed every muscle from his abs to his clenching jaw. With my free
hand, I played with his smooth sack, and then wandered further down.
He looked at me, wide eyed and alarmed; but relaxed a little when I
rested my hand on the inside of his thighs, and gently pushed them
apart.

  I can't even describe the look on his face when my fingers found their
prize. I toyed with him for a minute, watching his myriad expressions,
reflecting the strange and new sensations he was feeling as I drove one,
then two fingers deeper and deeper into him. I found the spot I was
looking for, the one that Quil had showed me how to find when I asked
him why the hell he liked being fucked so much. I knew just a touch was
enough to make me feel like I was at the edge of cumming. I could only
imagine how it felt for Seth now, as I worked two fingers over it non-stop
until I had to shove a pillow over his face to muffle his cries.
  He lay in a daze, absolutely overwhelmed by what he was feeling. His
eyes rolled, his mouth hung open as he gasped for breath. When I pulled
my fingers out of him he seemed almost disappointed. I was hard as hell,
and ready to go. I wanted to tell Seth what I was going to do; wanted so
badly to ask for his approval before I did it. It felt wrong otherwise, like I
was invading him. But I knew that it would bring up talk of the second
initiation, and then I would have to stop, on Sam's orders. So before he
had a moment to protest, I positioned myself over him.

  It felt weird; I'd never fucked a guy in this position. When I was with my
brothers, I'd go from behind, hard and fast, and you could go deeper that
way, too. Sam had done it this way with me a couple of times, and Jared
as well, at my pack initiation. I knew the intense feelings, the totally
different level of connection that came with watching your buddy's face,
looking into his eyes and seeing his thoughts reflected in them as he
brought the both of you to climax.
  I kissed Seth, long and deep, as I shifted his legs apart with mine. He
figured out what I was doing quickly enough, and broke the kiss. My
heart jumped. His eyes were lost, undecided for a moment, and then it
was clear he'd made his choice.
  "I love you, Jacob," he said quietly, and I felt myself drown in the
depths of his gaze. As I kissed him again, I reached down, slicked my
eager rod over with pre-cum, and then guided it in.
  His body shuddered under mine. He bit my lip, and started breathing
hard before I could even open my eyes. I searched his face for the signs
of pain, the signs that he wanted me to stop. He was doing an amazing
job of hiding it. He was gasping, sweating a bit, but a hint of a smile was
still in the corner of his eyes. I pushed a bit further in. He grimaced, and
I stopped immediately.
  "Shit, you okay?" I asked, wiping a bead of sweat from his temple.
  "Yeah, yeah," he panted, "just gimme a sec to get used to it. You're so
fucking big, Jake!"
  My cock jumped at the compliment. He nodded briskly when he was
ready for more, and then scrunched his face up in preparation as I slid
another inch or so into him. It was easier this time, he was more relaxed.
We waited like that for another moment. It was so hard to resist the urge
to start pounding away at him, to give my aching cock what it wanted,
but I wanted this to feel good for him, the way Embry had made me feel
during my first time. Slowly, gradually, I was all the way inside him. My
body pressed against his, and I could feel the heat of his rock-hard meat
in between our stomachs.
  "Holy fucking crap," Seth breathed, "it feels so goddamn huge. It feels
like its fucking everywhere inside me."
  My cock throbbed even harder at his words. I could feel him, too, like I
was a part of him. We were so connected, just there, just together, one
body.
  I smoothed his hair back out of his face. He curled his legs around my
back, lifting himself off the bed, pulling himself even closer still, nuzzling
into my shoulder.
  "Fuck me," Seth whispered. "Please."

  I couldn't hold back, not after an invitation like that. With strong,
deliberate strokes, I did what he asked. The world was this moment.
Nothing mattered but the distance between our two pairs of eyes
betraying a lifetime of wants and needs, all fulfilled in every gasp of
breath, every moan, every time he mouthed my name. I sped up, slowed
down, held back, and sped up again. The sound of body striking body
became a rhythm that we were both playing and moving to at the same
time. The air blazed with the heat of our combined bodies. A sheet ripped
when I turned Seth over onto all fours too quickly - the shreds of it were
still in his vice-like grip as I entered him from behind, pushing myself
even deeper than before.
  He let out a quick gasp, but didn't want to show any sign of pain. He
was taking me like a champ. I took hold of his hard rod, tugging it in
time with my thrusts. His whole body was constantly shifting under me,
convulsing and bucking... his abs tensed. No, not yet. I pulled out of him
and flipped him over.

  "Arggh! Fuck!" he winced, and I clamped my mouth onto his, keeping
him quiet while I pushed into him once more. I could feel it coming. Not
long now. His hand was already around his cock, but I swiped it aside,
replacing it with mine. Our bodies moved together, rocking, swaying,
making waves in a sea of blankets. Fingers and toes curled, skin and
sweat and muscle slid over and under each other, 'yes', 'more' and 'fuck
yeah' the only words forming on our hot breath.
  Seth grappled at my shoulders, his legs wrapped around my back like
he would fall from the sky if he let go. His little cries grew quicker, more
frantic. I stroked him faster too, out of time with my own thrusts. Each
push brought me to the hilt, filling him so completely. Each time I pulled
out left him whimpering for more. Finally - I forgot how we'd come here,
hadn't we always been fucking? - Seth was on the very edge. I gulped.
  "Ready?"
  He nodded briskly.
  I let go of the switch deep inside me, the one that was holding back a
torrent of cum. Seth was coming hard, too. Skin against skin was
interrupted by a flood of his hot cream as our bodies crunched together,
freefalling in ecstasy. The world was heat, the world was fire. It was
shattering, quaking all around us. My head found the pillow, my eyelids
slipped shut. The world was Seth's sighing, gasping body, and I'd never
felt so much a part of it as I did then.

  If you'd asked me what it felt like to imprint, I would've described that
moment. The way the other guys described it, the feeling of your whole
world re-arranging so that this one person was in the centre of it? That's
pretty much what I felt. Well, okay, that's what I thought I felt. It might
just have been the endorphins and all that shit. Whatever. If I could have
Seth the rest of my life, I would be happy to never have sex with any of
my pack-brothers ever again. Wow. Did I really mean that? I didn't know.
It was one thing to say it, but that was the sort of throwaway shit people
said without really meaning it. But slowly I began to feel the truth of it.
Wednesday; caught Sam fucking Quil in the tray of his pickup. Felt
nothing. Thursday afternoon. Paul, Jared and Embry started a jerk-off
contest in the showers after gym. Not interested. Was I going to be like
this forever?
  By Thursday night, I was seriously wondering what was going on. I
dropped in on Sam as he was coming home from a long shift and without
a word, took the big guy's main asset into my mouth and worked on it
like it was my last meal. And in a way it was. Because when I left there it
was clear that some part of me had died. I didn't see any of them like
that anymore. I didn't want anything but Seth. This was worse than
imprinting. This was worse than fucking marriage.

  Bella had rung sometime between me getting home from school that
day and heading over to Sam's. I can't remember when. I was catching
up on some much-needed shut eye. But she was coming over sometime
the next day, and I saw it as the perfect opportunity. If anyone could
bring any fire, any passion, any sense of... wanting... back in my life, it
would be her. So I told her to come on over, as early as she could.
  I sat in my car the next morning, right on the border line, waiting for
Bella. My mind was churning. I'd had a whole day to think about what I
wanted to say to her. Was I going to tell her about Seth? I'd been putting
it off for so long. I wanted to... but just the thought of dropping
something that big on Bella... shit, where would I even start? And I had
to keep in mind as well, inviting her over today was part of an
experiment. There was something I had to do, something I had to find
out...
  I didn't have time to finish that thought. The shiny silver Volvo
appeared around the bend, just as expected. And just as I expected, he
was glaring out at me through the windshield. How much had he heard,
that mind-reading bloodsucker? Had he heard about Seth, or worse still,
what I was planning to say to Bella? Fuck him. He didn't mean shit to
me. I honked impatiently, a distraction, just in case he felt like telling her
what was on my mind. Bella came over and climbed in, and we drove
back to La Push. I was tired, and I guess it showed, because it was all
she could talk about the whole drive back. It didn't help that I couldn't
stop yawning either. We got back to my place, and I absentmindedly
flicked the TV on, just for something to concentrate on, something to
keep me from slipping out of reality. I explained to Bella that I hadn't
been sleeping much, it was hard to get any sleep with vamps running
loose in the forests nearby.
  There was an awkward silence, so I moved on to talking about other
shit. Graduation. Ha. What a farce. All just a euphemism for the real
topic we were avoiding. Her becoming one of them. On the bright side, it
did get me invited to her graduation party. I struggled to keep my eyes
open through all of this. She said something about wanting me to be
there... I said something else...

  I must've dozed off, because the next thing I knew was waking up with
a start. Something had knocked me, and I jumped to my feet out of sheer
instinct. Crap! Here I was, falling asleep while Bella was right here with
me, wasting the precious few moments I had with her before she was
taken out of my life forever. I dragged her outside, hoping the cold air
would wake me up a bit. There was a storm on the way; I could smell it
in the air. The sense of foreboding kept growing, the feeling that
something was waiting to happen, and we were running out of time. I
took a deep breath, gathered my words together to tell her about Seth...
to tell her the truth. But I couldn't. And at the last second, I went for the
next best thing. Didn't I want some sort of feeling back in my life? To feel
like I wanted, or needed something? I didn't want to be like this forever.
Well, this was my last chance.
  I told her that I loved her. Fuck! Was it even true? Who cared! I felt
something! My heart leapt, and the words wouldn't stop pouring out of
my mouth. Before I knew it, I was dedicating myself mind, body and soul
to her. Forever. Well, not forever; until her heart stopped beating. Yeah.
There was the catch. She had to choose now. Choose to stay human, and
keep my friendship, or become one of them and be rid of me for all
eternity. The time was up, the last grains of sand were falling through
the hourglass.

 Well of course she rejected me. I felt it all sink again, the feelings of
wanting and needed and hoping. So I did the next stupidest thing. I
kissed her. It was angry, completely out of desperation. I pulled her face
into mine and held her there, hoping that if this went on long enough I
would feel something again. It felt... wrong. Nothing like Seth. Not even
like Sam or Embry. I felt nothing at all. She kept pushing me away. And
still the feelings wouldn't come. I stopped to look at her, then kissed her
again, gentler this time, a couple more times. Nothing. Huh. How about
that? Maybe I really was fucked up. Well and truly... irreparably.
  Of course, she then did what any girl would've done if she'd been
forcefully kissed by a guy. She punched me. Well, I guess that was what
she was aiming for. Really, all she did was hurt herself quite a bit, and
left me with the aftermath to deal with. I had to drive her back to
Charlie's, where the old man seemed more than thrilled that I'd done
something so bold as kiss his daughter. She called the bloodsucker to
come pick her up, and we had a nice little confrontation in front of
Charlie's house. As he took her away for medical treatment or whatever it
was that passed for it at his house, I couldn't help but feel a bit smug. I'd
made the right choice. Seth might've been younger than Bella, but he
wasn't the child out of the two of them.

  The storm broke as I was running back to La Push. Huge raindrops
crashed down around me, bouncing off the foliage, creating a haze of
noise and movement that dampened my senses and made it impossible
to see or hear through. All I could do was remember the terrain, the
familiar rhythm of the rising and falling of the land beneath my paws was
all I needed to guide me home. I still couldn't shake the sense that
something was wrong. Nothing with Bella had gone to plan, sure, but
that wasn't what was bugging me anymore. She could go do whatever
she wanted with her life, I was beyond caring. All I wanted now was to
find Seth, to tell him the good news. That all I wanted was him, and only
him.
  Then it hit me. It was too quiet. There was no one else in my head.
Perfect silence - so much room to think that I could almost hear my own
thoughts bounce off the walls of my skull and echo around. This never
happened. There was always at least one of us running, always. Unless.
Fuck! No, it couldn't be? In that short a time? I hadn't even been gone an
hour! I wheeled around, tearing the sodden ground up as I spun and
changed the direction I was running in on nearly half a body length. Now
I was running straight for the Clearwaters'.

  The house was empty when I got there. I ran up closer, to see if any
lights were on or if there was any noise coming from inside. There was
nothing. At the risk of being seen, I went around to the front of the
house. Sue's truck was gone. The rain had turned the dirt road into a
quagmire, destroying any tracks that I could've followed. Anyway, it
didn't matter. Seth wasn't here, and that only worsened my fears.
  I checked my garage next. There could only be one reason why there
was no one running - and that was if the pack was all in one place.
Where else would they be? The waterlogged soil squelched under my
paws as I tore across the narrow clearing. Bombarded by the thick
raindrops, my fur drenched and heavy, I arrived at the garage... to find
everything shut. I peered into the windows. Darkness. Fuck! I couldn't
linger. Every second was time that was running out. I turned back
towards the house, and everything seemed to hit me at once.

  First, there was Sue's truck. Parked in our drive, it was unmistakable.
It crossed my mind for a split-second that Seth might be in there, in my
house. And just as quickly as that realization came, I knew that he
wouldn't be. The pack would have to be in there with him, and they
weren't. I couldn't hear them. Then I caught the scent. They'd been here,
Quil and Embry... and another scent I didn't recognize. It was familiar,
but I had trouble placing it. Another werewolf. Of course. I might've been
tired, not thinking clearly, but I wasn't an idiot. I was already too late.
Time had already run out. I veered back to the woods, but not before I
caught sight of someone peeking tentatively out the back door of my
house. I squinted through the rain.
  Emily. She saw me, and her eyes immediately grew wide. Instinctively, I
wheeled back towards her, towards the house. The fear on her face only
grew. She waved me away, making hasty shooing motions, and then
glanced back behind her.
  "They're at my house!" she whispered urgently, and even with wolf ears,
she was just audible through the thundering rain. I gave her a quick,
sharp nod, and was off again. I'd have to stick to the edge of the woods to
get to Sam's without being seen. A giant wolf running through the centre
of town probably wouldn't go down too well with the locals. Sam's was
less than five minutes from my house if I ran at full speed, and I knew
the path well, but every second, every step felt like a strain. I knew I was
too late; too late for him. I skidded across the mud, frantically trying to
regain control as I slammed into a small tree, and snapped it clean in
half.

  The boys looked up at the noise.
  They stood in a rough circle, the five of them. Naked, drenched
completely. Embry wiped the rain-matted hair out of his eyes and took a
step towards me, but Sam shoved him back with a commanding hand,
and strode forward instead. He was covered in mud to the knee, and it
was spattered across the rest of his body as well. There were four streaks
across his chest, a handprint on his arm, slowly washing off in the rain.
There'd been a struggle. I looked around quickly at the other boys,
disheveled in the same way, hunched over, panting. Was it over? Had I
missed it all?
  "Phase back," Sam muttered, "I'm not dealing with you in wolf form."
  It was an order, and I had to obey.
  The second I was back on two legs, Sam's lips began to curl. His jaw
flexed, like he was struggling with something. Then, faster than I could
even see, he drew his hand back and lunged.
  The crunch reverberated through my skull as his fist connected with
my nose. A wave of pain followed.
  "Fuck! Why did you... You fucking broke my nose!" I yelled.
  "Quiet!" he bellowed, "I don't want to hear a word of it!" he started
stalking around me in a circle, assessing me, sizing up his prey. I knew
better than to take my eyes off him this time. The rain was quickly
washing the blood off my face, and I could feel the bones starting to heal.
Even so, I'd already been smacked up twice today; I didn't feel like being
hit again.
  "You openly defied my orders. There are reasons why I give orders!
There are rules! You think I like telling people what to do? Do you think I
get off on some kind of sick fucking power trip?"

  Oh shit. He knew. My blood raced and my ears rang. I couldn't bring
myself to look at his face.
  "Or maybe... maybe that's just you, Jacob. Maybe it's you who has
authority issues. 'Cos you can't seem to obey even the simplest requests.
I guess I should expect it from you. Rightful Alpha and all. You're the
only one who can challenge me. Well here I am!" he spread his arms
wide, throwing his chin up, glaring back at me down the bridge of his
nose, "you want to be Alpha? Here's you chance! Fight me!"
  I squirmed, staring at the ground between us.
  "Fucking fight me!" he yelled again, "you piece of shit coward!" He gave
a dark chuckle.
  "No, huh? I didn't think so. Ephraim's heir my ass! He'd be spitting if he
saw his great-grandson now."
   That brought me close. My fists started clenching, my mouth grew dry,
and I felt the power beginning to build in my arms, taking me in for the
punch.
  "He's yours now. Part of your pack."
  I froze. My arms dropped to my side. I didn't get it, what was he saying?
Sam read the confusion creasing my brow.
  "You fucked him. He's yours. Now take him."
  It was like someone had set tinder alight behind my eyes. In the
howling wind and rain, the flame struggled to take hold at first, but as
soon as it was established, it grew, until my whole brain was alight and
burning. Seth? Mine? What did he mean by 'my pack'?
  "Sam, what did I do?" I asked, and I was a kid again, with Rachel and
Rebecca blaming me for our mom's death.
  He shook his head. Bit his lip. "You're lucky I haven't fucking pounded
you into the ground, Jacob. That's all I'm saying."
  With long strides, he pushed back through the circle, and the guys
drew back from him as he went. Jared and Paul turned to follow him into
the house. Quil and Embry sighed and gave me a pitying look, then went
as well.

  It was only then that I saw him. Sitting with his chin tucked between
his knees, curled up in a wet, muddy ball on the ground, was Seth. My
knees gave way when I recognized him, and I knelt down in the mud by
his side, my heart thumping in my chest. His face was wet, from the rain,
I thought, but his eyes were red as well. He'd been crying - or was still
crying, it was hard to tell. I pulled a lock of his sodden hair out of the
way.
  "Don't touch me!" he cried. His voice cracked, and he took a deep,
labored breath, and then sank his face between his knees again.
  "Seth, it's ok. It's ok. I'm here," my own voice was breaking as well, from
watching him suffer like this. I turned my face up to the sky, to the
falling rain, to keep the tears that were pooling in my eyes from running
down my face. "What did they do to you?"
  He just shook his head in response. "I was so scared, Jake. And you
weren't there."
  "I'm sorry... I wasn't... I couldn't... I came here as fast as I could!" All I
could picture was Seth, phasing for the first time, the disorientation, the
sheer terror of that moment. Then him being taken by the boys, dragged
under Sam's orders, naked and scared, to this place. Here, behind Sam's
house, where one by one the boys would've taken their turns with him.
Did they hurt him? My pulse raced. If I found out that they had...

  "My mom," Seth sobbed, "my mom and Leah, are they alright?"
  "They're at my house," I said softly, "Emily's with them." I was on my
knees in the mud now, my fingers hovering so close to his skin that I
could feel the heat radiating off it, but afraid to actually touch him again.
  He dipped his head, droplets of water shaking off the tendrils of his
hair. "You kissed her."
  The thumping in my chest missed a beat.
  His red-ringed eyes rose slowly to meet mine, and he could see the
truth. The corners of his lips began to tremble. Tears started flowing
again, mingling with the rainwater.
  "It was nothing, Seth! I don't love her. I love you. I came back to tell
you... Well, to tell you the good news."
  He remained incredulous.
  "You expect me to believe that?" his tone was seething, acidic, like
nothing I'd ever heard from him before. "You spent the whole day with
her. You kissed her. I had to hear it from Paul!"
  Paul. You motherfucker.
  "Yeah, Jake. He came and told me that you were on the beach kissing
that leech-lover," he spat the words out. "How'd you expect me to react? I
phased, goddamit. Right in front of my mom and my sister and that...
that fucking Makah woman!" His knuckled turned white; and he bit
down hard on his lip. He was barely in control.

  "You told me nothing," he said, finally. "You didn't say that they'd do
this to me."
  "I wasn't allowed to! Sam ordered me not to tell you!"
  He sucked in a deep breath, suppressing a sob, working down the lump
in his throat.
  "Is that why we did it? The other day? So you could have me first,
before your pack brothers? Oh, I'm sorry, OUR pack brothers now!"
  "Fuck's sake, Seth, I did it because I love you! And I wanted your first
time to be with me! I wanted it to be good, and special, not here in the
fucking pouring rain, with everyone watching!"
  He didn't say anything. It felt like all the sky was being dumped on our
shoulders. I finally, gingerly, let my fingers brush his skin. He flinched.
  "Seth, I just wanted some sort of claim on you. Before... before they
took you away. I want you all to myself, is that so hard to understand?
But now things have changed... I'm going to have to share you with
them. I don't want that to happen. I want you to be mine forever."
  "You did a fucking great job of that," he said, in a voice that was
dripping with sarcasm.
  "What do you mean?"
  "Didn't you hear Sam? We're our own pack now. Just you and me.
You're my Alpha, because you initiated me first. So now you're in control.
If you follow Sam, I'll follow. If you take his orders, I'll take his orders.
But ultimately, you're going to be the one I answer to. We broke some
sort of Tribal Law, Jake. That's why he's so angry. We've just fucked up a
thousand years of history. There's never been two packs before."

  The fire crackled, and embers streamed up like a swarm of fireflies as
Sam threw more wood on it. I leaned forward into the heat and the light,
turning the tiny piece of wood I was whittling between my too-big fingers.
A wolf - that was what I was trying to make. The snout and head had
begun to take shape. The rest I was making up as I went along. Curled
up beside me, lying on the couch with his head against my lap, was Seth.
Each breath was audible through this deathly silence. The clothes Emily
had gone to get for him lay in a pile at my feet. He was overheating; even
the light sheet I'd draped over him was making him uncomfortable.
  Sam settled down in the chair opposite me. He looked older, tired, the
lines on his face appeared more sunken in the firelight. We were all tired.
I knew how Seth felt. After your first phase, all you wanted to do with
sleep. When you finally woke up, all you would do was eat. Then sleep
again. And so it would go on for days. Sam understood, and let us stay
here, where we'd be out of the way of Sue and Leah, and Emily could
make Seth all the food he needed. It was what him and Emily always did,
played babysitter to the new wolf on the block.

  Sam had been very understanding. While the boys looked after Seth, he
agreed to run with me. We took a big arc, almost to the Canadian border
and back, taking advantage of the fact that we could exchange our
thoughts almost instantaneously. With no words as a barrier, no feelings
barred, he saw through my eyes why I had to do it. Why no other option
was acceptable to me. That I had no idea that I was breaking a rule, and
still, I didn't regret it.
  I saw Sam's frantic thoughts replay before my eyes, the moment he'd
first heard about the emergency at the Clearwaters' and phased. His first
impressions of Seth's thoughts were wild, erratic, but Seth's memories of
our first time together were so ingrained that it left Sam with no doubt.
Sam's anger only grew when it turned out that Seth didn't answer to
him. He already had an Alpha, and it was me. With sheer force of
numbers, the five-strong pack managed to take down the feral,
uncontrollable Seth; but not before he'd chased a terrified Sue and Leah
to my house. They dragged him, back in human form, back to Sam's,
and tried to undo the damage that I had done. Tried to initiate him back
into their pack.
  I endured the images that played back in Sam's head. Of the boys
fucking MY Seth. I thought it would be too much for me to bear, but Sam
wouldn't stop forcing them on me, showing me every look on Seth's face
as one oversized boy after the other rammed his meat home. Paul and
Jared's endless taunting, threatening to fuck him again and harder if he
refused to submit.
  It might've worked, if Seth's was of a lesser will. But they were dealing
with a mind that was so strongly fixed that anything they did was only
going to strengthen his loyalty and commitment to me. Broken, battered,
Seth was an exile before he even joined the pack. That's when I showed
up.
  <I'm sorry, Sam,> I finally said, shattering the silence after nearly an
hour of running.
  <I know you are.>
  <If it means anything, you're still my Alpha.>
  <Yes, that appears to be the case. It looks like Seth is only a subsidiary
of this pack. He answers to you, but so long as you answer to me, he will
too.>
  That was a relief. I couldn't imagine the pack actually splitting in two.
And so we ran, an endless stream of images and scenes and dialogues
slipping between our minds like water from two rivers flowing into the
same ocean.
  Now, sitting opposite him in his cramped living room, catching glimpses
of the fire reflected in his smoldering eyes, I would've given anything to
know his thoughts.

  Seth spent another day in the confines of Sam and Emily's living room.
Emily was a good host, cooking up enough food to feed a small country,
which of course Seth readily devoured. The other guys came to see him
throughout the day, staying for a bite to eat as well, of course. Embry
came at one point, and I thought of asking him to stay with Seth for me
while I ran my shift, but he was already ahead of me; and after checking
in on the newbie, he was off again to run my shift for me. I wondered if I
would ever stop owing him.
  By Sunday, Seth felt ready to get moving again. Which was good, since I
thought it was best he saw his mom and Leah. On top of that, I was done
whittling this silly wolf-charm-figurine-thing, and was running thin on
things to do while I sat and watched the boy sleep. Not that there was
anything wrong with that. I could watch him every minute for the rest of
my life. But I was itching to get back into the outdoors. So after a quick
drop-in back at his house, which was little more than an awkward
exchange conducted from opposite ends of the room, I took Seth right
out into the woods beyond my garage, on the path where I ran from the
back for the first time, all those months ago.

  "Do you think you can do this?" I asked. I still wasn't completely
convinced.
  "Yeah," he said, "first time for everything, huh?"
  "Remember, if you start to feel like you're losing it..."
  "I know, I know, think of being human. You're in control, remember?
Just say the word, and I won't have a choice... Alpha." He giggled at the
last word, and the sound cut through all my worries. I grinned.
  "Anyway, I won't have any trouble reminding myself I'm human," he
said sheepishly, "I never feel more human than when I'm with you,
Jake."
  It was one of those moments where I wanted so badly to bowl him over
onto the ground... to tousle his hair and wrap my arms around him; to
never let him go. But there'd be time for that later. For now, I just wanted
to get moving.
  "Okay, come on. Let's do this."
  He shucked off his shorts, and I gave him a hand tying it around his
ankle. It wasn't the sort of thing ordinary people did everyday, and if you
weren't accustomed to it, it could be hard to get the knots right, so it
wouldn't come undone as you were hurtling through the woods at a
hundred miles an hour. I did the same with my own shorts, and for a
moment I remembered where I was. I thought about how stupid we
must've seemed, two boys, standing naked in the middle of woods,
looking at each other in a way that no normal boys would.

  Seth had to try pretty hard. He'd never phased of his own accord before.
The last time, the only time, he'd done it, was because he'd gotten angry.
Well, Seth wasn't the kind of guy who got angry for no good reason. So
he tried and tried, but to no avail.
  "Don't make me hit you," I teased.
  He threw a disbelieving glance at me and I laughed.
  "You're not helping!" he groaned in frustration.
  "Maybe... try getting scared... like... RAH!" I jumped at him. Barely a
shiver crossed his face. He hardly even blinked.
  "This is hopeless..." he muttered, "How do you do it?"
  "I think of something that makes me angry."
  "Like what?"
  "Lots of shit makes me angry, Seth, you know that. Bloodsuckers,
people who don't finish their food, global fucking warming..."
  It was Seth's turn to laugh this time, and I thought about how
ridiculous this all was. It really was pointless, I couldn't think of any way
to get him angry.

  The movement in the foliage to my right grabbed my attention. In a split
second, I pulled Seth behind me defensively and spun around to face the
danger. His pulse was racing in his arm.
  "What is it?" he whispered.
  Before I had a chance to respond, the two huge wolves came barreling
out of the bushes, snapping, slavering, looking completely deranged. I
might've fallen over laughing at my own stupidity, but behind me there
was already an unmistakable shimmer in the air. He was smaller than
the other two, shorter, leaner, but more streamlined. Built for speed and
an incredible agility. His fur, the color of sand, was short and neat, but
now it was bristling at the sight of the two larger wolves facing him off.
He growled with a sound that was not as low as I was used to, but deeply
menacing all the same. I lay a hand on his flank, and he broke his
attention away to look at me.
  "Seth, it's ok," I said softly.
  I phased, and in an instant, I was on all fours at Seth's side. My head
was already filled with raucous laughter.
  <You should've seen the look on your face!> Quil brayed.
  <Classic! If you had pants, you would've shat them!> Embry joined in.
  I rolled my eyes.
  <Thanks, guys. Now piss off.>
  They shared a dumb, wolfy grin, and then nuzzled into me. Their
playful expressions didn't fade as they bounded off in the direction of my
house, their voices blinking out of my head. Seth and I were alone.

  The second I turned my attention back to Seth, my mind was flooded
with images! As we grew more experienced as wolves, we learned to keep
barriers around certain things in our heads, to not think freely, basically.
It took practice, but that was the only way we could communicate clearly
without assaulting the other wolves in the pack with every thought that
was on our minds. And believe me, with five or six brains all firing off
thoughts at once, it got really, really messy.
  Seth hadn't learnt this yet, and I was taken on a roller coaster of
thoughts and emotions, all flickering past so quickly that I couldn't
describe any of them. I pressed my muzzle up against Seth's, our noses
touching.
  <Concentrate> I told him.
  He seemed to grab a hold of his train of thoughts, like he'd slammed the
brakes on. Scenes crawled past slower now, the details more vivid.
  I licked his nose playfully. The closest thing that could come to a wolf
kiss, I guess.
  The pictures changed. They seemed warmer, almost glowing at the
edges. Like someone had poured hot wax over them. I saw myself, a few
years ago, Harry and Billy in the distance with their fishing rods. We
were returning from a lake, and Seth had pebbles in his hand, dropping
them on the grass as we went along. Sue's voice trilled with laughter
somewhere else, but the only thing that was in focus was me. I was
younger, my hair long. But Seth's memory of me was distorted. I was not
that tall then, nor that built. And yet, I seemed to glow, the object of
adulation in Seth's young eyes. Every word I said rang clear, and I
shared in Seth's complete sense of satisfaction, just at being in my
presence.

  A few more memories flickered by, and I saw myself in a few of them.
When they settled, I saw myself standing in his doorway, looking
awkward, asking if he'd come out for a walk. Seth's heart began to race,
and mine did as well. Fast forward. His fingers trailing across my body,
marveling at the weight and thickness of my hard rod. His first taste of
me. Then the world fell to black, and all that remained was me and him,
spinning in the abyss, the memory of him kissing me for the first time.
  Dazed, I snapped back from that other world.
  <Wow,> I sighed, <all these years?>
  <Yeah.> His voice in my head was nothing like I expected. It was full of
all the warmth and glee that I'd come to know and love, like the wind on
a summer day. But it reached further, deeper into me than any of the
other guys' voices did. I'd never heard a mind as kind, as sincere as his.
  <Now you know,> he said, <how much I've always wanted this.>
  I lapped at his nose again, and his eyes pulled into a grin.
  I allowed him into my thoughts as well, pulling down the barriers that
I'd put in place to keep the other guys out. He sifted through them,
skimming through years here, stopping to relish in a moment there. He
felt the waves of grief, elation, pain, terror, and adrenaline, and then
froze on one moment that he didn't expect at all.

  I'd been out on a long night of running, and went to stop past Seth's on
my way home. It was well past midnight, and I didn't expect him to be
awake. The curtains across his window were only partly drawn, and I
peered inside. I didn't want to bother him if he'd already gone to bed. As
it turned out, he was in bed, but not asleep. I'd watched while he jacked
himself off, hand roving over his body, using the twisting stroke that I'd
learnt was his favorite. I was rock hard, and started stroking myself as
well. In a few minutes he'd shot a massive load all over his young,
smooth chest and abs. He got up to get the tissues off the desk, and I
ducked back into the shadows.
  I'd waited till he'd cleaned up, and was about to get back into bed,
before I tapped on his window. He'd let me in, and we'd curled up
together in his too-small bed. It was cramped, and now that he was
getting a bit bigger, one of us always ended up clinging on to the edge for
dear life.
  "I'll go if you want," I'd said.
  "Nah," he whispered back, "stay here."
  He'd fallen asleep like that, his body nestled in the curve of mine, one
fitting so perfectly inside the other, that we hardly noticed anymore that
the bed was too small.
  I felt that sense of serenity wash over Seth, the memory of that moment
completely encapsulating everything I'd ever felt for him. It must've been
a revelation, because his mind was fixated on that moment. A cloud of
other emotions swirled around it, tried to settle with it. But I guess he
really had no idea of the power he had over me. I might've been the Alpha
by wolf-law, but as far as I was concerned, we were equals. And I was
glad he finally knew it.

  We ran for hours. Through the densest parts of the forests, up towards
the Olympic ranges, we ran. I was hoping to take him to that place, up
on Mouth Ranier, that'd I'd found. But that was nearly two hundred
miles away, it would have to wait. Even still, we raced each other up the
slopes, me gaining a lead when the terrain was smooth, and him
bounding ahead up banks of rocks and nimbly maneuvering his way
around the trunks of trees. He was a natural, born to be a wolf, running
like this, just happy to be alive, completely free.
  The sun was nearly setting when we finally came to it. Towering above
the clouds, the rocky point jutted out hundreds of feet above the treetops
below. I led him out onto the outcrop, looking west. Clouds blanketed the
ground below us, tinted golden in the last rays of the sun, boiling and
churning, before giving way to the ocean just short of the horizon.
Behind us, on the other side of the ranges, flashes of light lit the clouds
from beneath. A storm was coming. I could sense something wrong in the
air, in the wind that whipped this lonely mountaintop. Something
dangerous was coming from the east.
  Seth was thinking, thinking hard about something, and in the blink of
an eye he was human again, shaking a weird feeling out of his head. I
phased back to join him.
  "It's weird, huh? Having your own head space again?" I teased.
  "I already miss having you in there with me," he pouted.
  I pulled him into me, feeling his warm, bare skin on mine; the firmness
of the muscles under it. His hair brushed against my chin, rustling in
the wind. He put his arms around me and locked his hands behind my
back, and like that we stayed, watching the sun drown in the sea of
clouds. As the last of daylight faded, and the first stars began to appear,
I let the shiver of brown fur tear back down my spine. Seth had to
concentrate for a moment, but it came easily enough, and soon he was
grinning at me with wolf-teeth, proud that he was getting the hang of it.
  He nuzzled me with his flank, and we stood together on the edge of that
rocky precipice, facing the gathering night. And together, we howled.