Date: Wed, 19 May 2010 16:48:31 +1000
From: Bradley Michael Danaher <bradmikedan@hotmail.com>
Subject: Full Moon 3 - Revised

I write because I enjoy creating people and stories, and because I enjoy
hearing from readers. If you have any comments or would just like to say
hey, please feel free to E-mail me at bradmikedan@hotmail.com or tweet
at me on http://www.twitter.com/bradmikedan/, where I'll be posting
regular updates on what I'm doing with each of my stories. Or leave a
comment on my blog at http://bmdsupine.blogspot.com/.
I promise I won't bite.

Thanks to all the people who've written to me already with your
encouragement or just to say you read the story and liked it! I really
appreciate it, and take the time to reply to each and every single one of
you. Thanks especially to my proof reader, the kindest and most loving
man I have never met, and to those of you who gave me a kick up the arse
to finish the story quicker!

[Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga, New Moon, Eclipse and all of the
characters in this story remain the authorial property of Stephenie
Meyer. This is simply a work of fan fiction. The Quileutes are also a real-
life tribe of Native Americans, and I do not profess to know anything
about their legends or traditions. The Quileute characters in this story
are inspired by Stephenie Meyer's representations, and do not in any way
represent any people, living or dead.]

This third installment begins from Chapter 25 of Eclipse, from Jacob and
Seth's points of view, and continues into the first 4 chapters of Breaking
Dawn.

===============================================
Full Moon
3. Like I wrestled with a gas tanker and lost.
===============================================

  "Sam - help him..." Edward gasped.
  The force of the impact rippled through the pack like a shockwave,
knocking most of us to the ground where we stood. I straightened up
back onto all fours as best I could. The pain! It was so real - as though it
were actually happening to me. It tore through the entire right side of my
body, the feeling of each broken rib. I howled in agony. How could he
have survived such damage? But this wasn't my pain, I reminded myself.
It was Jake's pain. Out there, where the fight was, he was suffering. And
I was here at the campsite, wasting precious seconds.
  "Seth!" Edward shouted.
  I paused, mid-spring. The sickening ache in my side hadn't diminished,
and I was sure Edward could feel it too, through the pack.
  <I have to get to him!>
  "No!" he ordered. "You go STRAIGHT HOME. Now. As fast as you can!"
  I shook my head, whimpering.
  <You don't understand. He needs me!>
  "Seth. Trust me."
  I stared Edward in the eye for one long second. Long enough to show
him everything Jake meant to me, the bond we shared. What it meant to
me now to leave the man I loved out here in the forest, not knowing if he
would live or die. Long enough to show Edward what I would do to him if
Jake didn't make it home to me in one piece. He'd just seen me do it to
Riley. God help him if he thought I was beyond doing the same to him.

  They dragged Jake into La Push still in wolf form, howling his head off
and looking like a complete blood-soaked mess. Emily had to hold me
back as they brought his crumpled body past me. The whole world felt
like it was in slow-motion, distorted and unreal. My screams and tears
faded in with Jake's howls and blood, shaking the windows of the houses
around us. Sam gripped my jaw roughly and barked something at me,
shaking a finger in my face. I didn't hear a word of it.
  They finally got him to phase back to human, before Billy, Charlie, and
then Dr. Cullen arrived. So much commotion. So many people. So much
noise. Jake's relentless cursing above it all. Emily dragged me aside from
the table where they'd laid him out, so the doctor could work. It felt like
she was tearing a nail from my finger. I watched the people surround
him, people who didn't even know the pain he was in. I kept wishing
they'd give him some room, some air.
  Then he was out cold. The thrashing, the yelling stopped. There was an
uneasy silence in the house. Was he dead? No. Dr. Cullen handed the
large needle he'd just pulled out of Jake to Sam, and then picked up a
thick roll of bandages. Started dressing Jake's wounds. The tense silence
continued, five big boys breathing heavy in the little room, the rusty
smell of blood hanging in the air.
  "Argh! God... fucking... dammit!" Jake was suddenly awake and flailing
again. "Mother... fucker!"
  Carlisle reached over to the pan of instruments he'd prepared and
swiftly retrieved another syringe. In a blink it was in Jake's side, and
within two breaths, he was out again.
  "He's going to need a lot more morphine. He's burning it off too fast,"
said the doctor, calmly. I cringed as they stuck needle after needle into
him, emptying whole bottles of the clear liquid. On the other side of the
room, Sam was saying something to Charlie about a motorcycle accident.
  Emily grasped my shoulders, and took me outside, where the sudden
brightness made everything shimmer like a dream. He'd recover. I knew
he would. We werewolves could take a lot of damage. But as I tore my
stinging eyes away from Jake's limp, battered body, I started to think
about what it would be like if the damage had been more permanent. If
he couldn't walk for the rest of his life, or if he'd lost an arm or a leg. I
knew I'd still love him. And so I made sure I'd tell him, when he woke up.

JACOB BLACK

  Have you ever been down a water slide? Falling out of one world,
sliding, careening completely out of control through the darkness, only to
be spat out into brightness on the other side, dazed, disorientated, in an
unfamiliar place?
  That's how I felt now.
  Had I dreamt that whole thing? One minute I was looking at myself
splayed out across my kitchen table. The next, I was here.
  Wait, where was I?
  Ugh.
  How long had I been out?

  Everything felt wrong. The place where I was lying, the smells in the air.
The bandages wrapped around my body. I picked at them, lifting the edge
of one up slowly to inspect the damage underneath. Nothing. Not so
much as a scratch under all that bloodstained cloth. You had to hand it
to us wolves. There wasn't anything we couldn't take. A few broken ribs?
Please. Next time, try taking off an arm. We'd probably grow it back.
  Speaking of ripping off arms... the memories trickled back to the front of
my throbbing brain. Back at the fight, I'd been watching Seth tear Riley
apart. I was so worried about Seth, leaving him up there in the campsite,
obviously where Victoria would attack, that I wasn't concentrating. How
did I not see that coming? Instead of being up there, where I was needed,
protecting Seth, protecting Bella, I was in the clearing fighting useless
newborns. They weren't even worth my time. So I took them down, one
after the other, way too easily, while using the pack's mental connection
to keep an eye on Seth and what was going on up at the campsite.
  I needn't have worried - the kid was good. With a little help from
Edward, he tore Riley limb-from-limb with next to no effort at all. He'd
been amazing to watch. As Edward finished off Victoria, I knew
everything was going to turn out fine. Seth and Bella were safe.

  That's when I let my guard down. I'd forgotten where I was, and by the
time I'd shook myself back into the present, the newborn was already
lunging for Leah. I reacted way too late. My mass was off-centre, my hind
leg at a bad angle. But I could see that Leah had no idea it was coming
for her. So I leapt anyway. I smashed into the stinking vamp and took it
down under me, hoping to knock it flat with my flank. But damn, it was
strong! It took my weight and threw me against a massive tree in one
swift move. The world blacked out, and echoing through my head was
the sickening crunch of ribs.
  It made sense now, that dream I had, of watching through Seth's eyes
as he ran back from the campsite in the mountains towards La Push.
Watching myself being carried back to my house. Phasing. Screaming.
It'd felt like an out-of-body experience at the time. So real, and yet so
disconnected from everything I was used to feeling. But I understood
what had happened now. I had been watching Seth when I blacked out.
My thoughts had been so connected with his that when I was knocked
out, my own unconscious mind latched on to his, living through his
mind and his thoughts. Clinging on to life. He'd saved me, kept my mind
from slipping under.

  "You're up," Seth's voice wafted from the end of the bed.
  I slowly tilted my head to look at him. His eyes were red, his face
flushed.
  "Hey, you," I smiled back weakly.
  "How're you feeling?"
  "Like I wrestled with a gas tanker and lost."
  A look of concern lined his face.
  "Oh, please. It's going to take a lot more than a newborn bloodsucker to
take me down. Give me some credit."
  He dropped his eyes, relieved.
  "I'm just glad you're okay," he said in a hushed voice, the tears pulling
again at the lump in his throat.
  "But if I wasn't... you'd still love me, right?"
  That startled him. "You heard that?"
  "I heard everything, Seth. I saw everything," I smiled as best I could, but
every part of me was so numb. I could hardly get the muscles in my
fingers moving to take his hand. He took it for me, pressing my hand
between both of his.
  "You were so brave," I beamed, "I'm so proud of you... Seth Clearwater:
Vampire Slayer."

  The bulky form of another one of my brothers filled the doorway.
Embry. He turned his face respectfully away from Seth and my shared
moment, but sidled over to the bed anyway, his eyes trained to the
ground.
  "Sorry, little bro. Visiting hours are over. We've got other company
coming," he said in his gruff, no-shit tone.
  I raised my eyebrows, but not before I caught the rumbling of the truck
coming down the dirt road. Bella was here.
  Seth obediently got up to leave, and in his wake Embry leant down and
brushed his lips across mine, the tips of our noses touching. They say
scent evokes the strongest reaction of any of the senses. No surprises
then, that as I inhaled Embry's, I was taken back to a place where there
was no pain, and everything was alright, no matter what happened. He
whispered something in Quileute, something sweet and evanescent that
my brain was still too stoned with morphine to catch. A grin flashed in
his eyes. Then he was up and ushering Seth out the door, pausing a
moment to grab a quilt off the floor and throw it over my bandaged and
mostly-naked body.

  Bella came and went. I was way too groggy to remember any of it,
although I'm pretty sure she was talking about something important.
Words came out of my mouth. I didn't think I could be held responsible
for anything I said while under that much pain medication. It was only
when she turned to leave that the finality of that moment hit me. If she
was going to be changed soon... I might never see her again. The thought
made me sad in a kind of bittersweet way. Sad because I was losing a
friend, but at the same time, happy for her... that she was getting what
she always wanted. That was enough for me. And not two seconds after
the front door closed, I was reminded of why it finally felt so easy to let
go. Seth appeared back in the doorway.
  Since he'd gotten used to his werewolf abilities, he'd become so fast, and
so completely silent. He was different to the rest of us in the way he
moved. He was just as strong as us, but also much lighter, such that he
almost seemed to float with a kind of carefree ease. His footsteps hardly
made a sound when he walked or ran. His movements, lightning-swift
and graceful, were like those of a gymnast. And he was agile like none of
us were - even giving the Cullens a run for their money when we trained
together a few nights ago. He sat down next to me on the bed, our roles
reversed, him seeming like the bigger boy now, the hero; while I lay
damaged and barely conscious. With a gentle hand, he stroked my cheek.
  "I can't stay... I'm running the next shift."
  I nearly laughed. Talk about role reversal. Where'd I heard that before?
  "Sure, sure," I wheezed out, "Come here as soon as you get back?"
  He nodded, smiling at me with weary, grateful eyes. It'd been a long day
for both of us. Before he stood up, he put two fingers of his right hand to
his lips, and then pressed them against mine. My old way of kissing him
goodbye in the middle of the night, when I left to go running after he'd
fallen asleep. I didn't think he was ever awake to feel them. It warmed me
up inside, knowing that he'd been there all along, and I let myself drift off
into another morphine-induced sleep.

  Dr. Cullen came by early the next morning to check on me - way too
early. The morphine had mostly worn off by then, but that didn't mean I
didn't want my sleep-in. He ended up putting a fucking cast on my right
leg, and my right arm in a sling. Props, basically, to keep me in line with
the story Sam and Billy had fed to Charlie. Allegedly, I was in a
motorcycle accident that took out the whole right side of my body when I
hit the ground. The good doctor was going to plaster up my torso as well,
but I told him to shove it... in the politest way possible. We ended up
settling on a roll of thick bandages that I could at least take off when I
didn't have to look the part of town gimp. So I was left sitting in my living
room, severely unimpressed, in the company of my new friends: leg cast,
sling and crutches.
  A knock on the door snapped me out of my mini-coma. I started
struggling to my feet, but then realized who it probably was.
  "Hey Seth, door's unlocked! Come in," I called out, plonking myself back
down on the couch.
  After running all night, he looked completely zoned out as he dragged
himself into the room, yawning widely, his arms hanging limply by his
side. That was until he saw the cast.
  "Oh my God, Jake!" he rushed over, "what happened? I thought you
were getting better?"
  I hushed him; he was practically yelling, and my morphine-affected
head wasn't ready to deal with loud noises. "I'm fine. See? Look!" I waved
my plastered leg around with no problem at all, "just some props to keep
me looking the part of Motorcycle Cautionary Tale Number 1064."
  Seth knelt down on the floor next to me and ran his hands over the
smooth white plaster. His concerned expression melted away, replaced
with his cheeky grin.
  "Can I sign it?"
  "Uh... sure?" I replied. I didn't think I'd be keeping this thing long
enough to warrant signing. But I guess if it helped with the illusion, why
not?
  Seth returned with a red marker from the box of junk on the kitchen
counter, and started writing his message. 'When I said "break a leg", I
didn't actually mean it. Love...'
  "Wait!" I interrupted.
  He glanced up, still grinning at his own wit.
  "I... don't think you should sign your name."
  His face fell. Dammit, I didn't mean it to sound like that.
  "It's just that... Charlie might see it."
  "Charlie?" he repeated, confused, "Why do you care if..." his eyes grew
wide. Ah, crap. There was no use trying to lie to him. "This isn't about
him. This is about Bella, isn't it? Haven't you told her yet?"
  "Seth, I haven't had time! Your initiation, then the whole 'we're getting
attacked by Victoria and her brood of ravenous newborns' thing..."
  "I thought you said you were gonna tell her!"
  "I wanted to, I really, really wanted to. But when we were sitting up
there, in that tent in the mountains; she was talking about marrying that
leech... It wasn't really the time or the place."
  "What do you mean? That was the perfect time!" he was edging on
yelling; I'd forgotten how easily angered he could be, now that he was a
werewolf. It scared me sometimes. "You could've told her to be happy and
go live her life with who she wants to, because that's what you're going to
do with me! Isn't it, Jake?"
  I didn't even need to think about the answer.
  "Of course it is. But it's not that easy telling her..."
  Seth sighed. I could see that he was still upset, but he knew that there
was no point pursuing this further right then. He slouched over with
weariness, and shook the feelings of rage from his head. I curled my good
arm around his shoulders and across his chest, and hoisted him up onto
the couch with me, nuzzling my nose into his hair as I kissed him on the
temple.
  "I'm sorry," I said, "I'm going to tell her, I promise... it's just... I don't
know. When I'm with you, it's so easy, like I don't even have to try. With
her, I'm pretending to be so many things that it just gets so confusing.
It's like she wants me to be this person who I'm not... she's got these
high standards of perfection, thanks to those leeches, and I feel like I
have to live up to them! I don't even know what to say to her, sometimes."
  A quiet moment passed.
  "Are you ashamed of me?" he asked softly.
  "What?! No! Why would you even... how could you think that?"
  "I don't know," he replied, "it's just that all these months, you haven't
told her. Why not? I've tried to be good about it Jake, but sometimes I
wonder which one of us is more important to you."
  I turned his face to mine.
  "No one," I said emphatically, "is more important to me than you." I
kissed him, letting him know that what I'd just said was the absolute
truth. I guess I would have to do it. I would have to tell her.

  Seth's hand started wandering up the length of the cast, following it to
where it disappeared into the leg of my shorts. We were both a bit more
relaxed now, after putting that little tiff behind us.
  "How far up does it go?" he asked.
  "Pretty damn high," I replied, "it's supposed to look like I shattered my
hip as well. Which... I guess I did."
  Seth helped me up while supporting my weight. Yeah, the little guy had
gotten really strong. And not that little. He yanked my shorts off with a
bit of effort, tugging one side down, then the other until it'd completely
cleared the cast around my foot. His fingers traced where the cast reached
the top of my hip bone.
  "Guess you won't be wearing underwear anytime soon, huh?"
  "Guess not," I chuckled, "you should've seen the look on Doctor Cullen's
face when I took my shorts off so he could finish the cast. Guess he didn't
really expect us to be massive THERE as well. He couldn't look me
straight in the eye after that. I'm glad Billy was gone by then, too. Man!
That would've been embarrassing."
  Seth looked amused. "So he got a good look?"
  "I'll say he did! He had to mold all this into place with his hands," I
patted the plaster around my hip, just inches from my bare crotch. "If a
vamp could sweat..."
  Seth burst out laughing again, and so did I. We were next to wetting
ourselves, both picturing Doctor Cullen, a Greek God in his own right, on
his knees in front of me shaping plaster around my naked crotch while
trying to ignore my oversized teenage meat. I'd been too sleepy at the time
to notice, but it was actually hilariously funny.
  "And your hand's out of action too?" he poked at the sling.
  "Until the sling and bandages come off, yeah," I sighed.
  "So no more of this for Jakey?" he grinned, pumping his fist up and
down in mid-air.
  I snorted, "As if I need that with you around anyway."
  "Jake, don't lie to me," he accused, "I've been inside your head."
  Okay, I guess he would know that I needed to unload a few more times a
day than he was available to help with. Sometimes, while he was out
running at night; or when I was in the showers after gym; or even just
when I was hanging out with the pack... a guy has his needs. It'd be
unfair to ask Seth to look after them all the time.
  "I've still got my left hand," I made a show of wriggling my fingers and
looking very self-satisfied.
  "Well, I think my idea is better," he grinned.
  He wrapped his fingers around my cock. Fire immediately ignited my
whole body, and he started teasing it, base to tip. The morphine was
making my head slow, but even still, it didn't take long for me to be up
and hard as ever. As his hand slid up and down my rod, he leaned in, the
heat of his skin against my neck as he drew his lips hungrily along my
jaw line.
  "Shit Jake, you're really horned up," he whispered in my ear.
  "Yeah, I know... haven't busted a load in days." I let my head slide back,
and closed my eyes as I handed myself completely over to Seth's touch.
His hands were warm still from the exertion of running. His fingers
lightly trailed the veins of my shaft, the seam along its underside, the
ridge around the head. With my eyes closed, I could feel each sweep of his
fingertips so clearly, making lines as purposeful as an explorer crossing a
wilderness.
  I gulped.
  "Goddamn, Seth. Please, just do it. Please," I begged.
   He started rubbing me, his sizzling palm on my rock-hard meat. When I
opened my eyes, I saw that he'd freed his own aching rod from its
confines and was now beating us both off. He grinned at me, and I leaned
our faces closer, both of us savoring each others' scent, our panting
breaths. I couldn't move with the cast and shit, but he could feel my arm
around him tensing, the straining in my entire body as I came first,
spattering my load all over my T-shirt. A shot had hit me on the chin,
and Seth leaned over and lapped it off. Then, with all the speed and
agility he embodied, he flipped himself over, more or less one-handed,
and was suddenly on his knees, straddling me on the couch.
  I slumped back, taking in his tight young muscles, his velvet skin...
man, the whole sight of him, naked to the waist, shorts hooked under his
balls, jacking off just inches from me. It suddenly occurred to me what he
was doing. Of course, in my condition, I wasn't going anywhere fast, and
he knew that. His hand quickened and quickened to a blur, and finally
with a sharp yell, he shot his messy boy-spunk on my chest. He drooped
over me, leaning for support on the back of the couch as he regained his
breath. The whole thing had been so hard-and-fast, over in just a couple
of minutes. It didn't feel like enough. I wanted more of him.
  He wiped his dick on my T-shirt, now completely covered in our
combined jizz, and then helped me pull it off, over the sling and my
bandaged arm. Even though my arm wasn't actually injured, it was the
bulk of that stupid tourniquet that was getting in my way. Now shirtless,
exposed before him, I grinned suggestively at him, hoping for more. His
brows pulled together, the sly look of a predator about to pounce. A growl
built in his throat.

  Suddenly, a sharp knock on the door made us both jump.
  "Shit!" Seth hissed, "I forgot!"
  "What?" I asked, confused. Seth turned into a blur of action. He picked
my soiled T-shirt up off the floor and tossed it over the counter into the
kitchen. My shorts... well, apparently there was no time to maneuver
them back over my cast, because they went as well. Instead, Seth quickly
grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and smoothed it over my
legs.
  A knock again, then a shadow in the window.
  "Seth, Jacob! I know you're in there!"
  Leah?! I shot a glare at Seth. "What the fuck is she doing here?!"
  "It's okay, I thought it was my mom," Seth heaved a sigh of relief.
  "What?!" I hissed back.
  Leah was banging hard on the door now. "I can hear you! I don't have
all day!"
  Seth hopped up, hiked his shorts up a bit, and then opened the door for
her.
  "For the love of God, Seth, put a shirt on," she said as she barreled in
past him.
  "I thought mom was coming?" he asked.
  "She's busy, so she sent me to run her stupid errand for your stupid
boyfriend." I could see now that she was carrying two big calico bags full
of food, a couple of thermoses, and paper bags filled to the brim with even
more things.
  She made a line for the kitchen. Seth's eyes grew wide, and he sprung
ahead of her, literally bouncing off a wall to get in front. In a swift motion
he'd swept my discarded clothing off the kitchen floor, and with the ease
of a pro basketball player, flung it through the door of my room.
  "What the hell are you on, Seth?" she asked, "what was that?" She
shook her head and raised her hands in disgust. "Actually, I don't want
to know. Ugh," she faked a dry-retch, and then started unpacking things
from the bags. "Now, mom said there are muffins, bread, soup and some
other things here so that..."
  "Hello? Stupid boyfriend over here?" I called over at them. Leah finally
did me the courtesy of looking over. "Ah. Thanks. Hi. Welcome to my
house. Feel free to walk in and out at any time," I said sarcastically, "and
I'm just fine, thanks for asking."
  The Amazon Bitch-Queen didn't show a shred of guilt. "Listen, Jacob: I
just dragged my tired, sleep-deprived ass over here with all this crap so
that you and Billy don't starve to death. You know, seeing as how you're
now both qualifiers for the Paralympics. So don't feel like you have to
thank me or anything."
  I reached for my crutch, contemplating whether or not I could smack
her on the head with it from where I was sitting.
  "And now, if we're done here, I'm going home to get a couple hours'
sleep so that I can run your shift for you at midday. If you'll excuse me,"
she huffed out the door, not bothering to close it behind her.
  "Fucking get Embry to do it!" I yelled after her. "Bitch."

  Seth shut the door for her, and then slunk over, hanging his head.
  "What just happened there?" I asked.
  "I forgot, mom said she was sending all this stuff over for you and Billy,
groceries for a week, and some stuff she's cooked and frozen for you guys
to reheat so you can rest properly."
  "She knows I'm not actually hurt, right?"
  "Yeah, but you're on crutches and stuff, it's hard for you to get around...
Sorry she sent Leah instead."
  I sighed. "That's okay. We all know Hurricane Leah is a force of nature."
  Seth plopped down on the couch next to me, and pulled back the
blanket that was over my legs.
  "Not in the mood anymore?" he observed.
  "Nah, not after that... I'm kind of tired actually."
  "Yeah, so am I..."
  "My room?"
  He yawned, and tried to nod at the same time.
  I struggled to my feet. Seth couldn't help giggling a little at how
ridiculous I looked. My right leg plastered up to the hip, thick bandages
around my torso, and my right arm bandaged and in a sling. All that,
while the opposite side of my body was completely unclothed. With his
help, I hobbled into my room, finally collapsing onto the bed.
  "This is gonna make sex so hard," he whined.
  "They'll come off in a few weeks..."
  "Weeks?" he groaned.
  "We can still do stuff until then. Just nothing as... physical as we're
used to," I teased back.
  "We'd better."
  "And what about all the other guys? They'll take care of you, I'm sure."
  "I don't want them, Jake. I want you. With them it's just... sex, you
know? It's different with you," he lay down next to me on the bed, curling
up against my body. "They don't..." he yawned, and his eyes were already
slipping shut, "they don't love me... like... Jake..."
  His breathing grew steady as he slid away into a much-needed sleep. I
yawned as well, not able to help myself, and just let myself enjoy this
moment with him.

  Unfortunately, I couldn't stay. There were things that had to be done,
and after nearly a full day spent in bed, I was itching to get up and move
around. It took me a couple of minutes to get my shorts back on -
damned cast. I remembered that I wouldn't be able to phase until I got rid
of them, and that just shat me even more. My crutches were still in the
living room, so I had to lean against the walls, and then limp from one
piece of furniture to the other until I had them. Right. It took nearly ten
minutes, but I was finally ready to do what I set out to do.
  It was a slow, boring process putting away everything Sue had sent
over. I could only lift one thing at a time, put it down before opening the
cupboard or the fridge, pick it up, put it in, close the door, then go back
for something else. It gave me time to think, but there was only one thing
on my mind. That stupid-bloody-fucking-whore: Leah. She had to ruin
everything. Not just this morning - everything! She was the only girl in
our pack; the only thing destroying our perfect brotherhood. Since she'd
joined us, the guys had started to watch what they said, even what they
thought. There were things that went through our head constantly that
we'd been fine with our brothers knowing, but shit, not a girl!
  We didn't even know that a girl could become a werewolf. It made sense,
she had all the same genes and all that, but we thought that the ability
to transform was carried down the male line. Sam blamed himself, as
soon as we found out. He was still going out with her when he started his
transformation - Emily came later, after he was already a werewolf. So
there was Sam, werewolf and all, getting head from Leah. The same way
the rest of us gained our ability to turn into werewolves. But did this
mean that everyone's girlfriends would start turning too? No, it was
special in her case. She already had the genetic predisposition, and
Sam's cum was just needed to set it off.
  That's what we all thought for a while, until it occurred to us that it had
taken too long. Sam broke up with Leah over a year ago. Was that how
long it took in her case? Slowly and painfully, drawn out over that many
months? We almost started to feel sorry for her, having to deal with
that... until Quil, who'd been silent the whole time, cleared his throat
and spoke up.
  "Actually, it was me," he'd said.
  Six pairs of eyes turned towards him, shocked, confused, unbelieving.
  It turned out that before he'd imprinted on Claire, Quil had made a
pastime of impressing the ladies with his new werewolf physique. He was
a sex addict, no question about that. The number of times he'd step in to
take someone else's rap wasn't out of the goodness of his heart... more
accurately, his love of having cock rammed deep inside him. No surprises
then, that he'd gladly taken a blowjob from Leah after a beach party one
night. She didn't seem as repulsive to him, since he hadn't been running
with Sam's thoughts tainting his vision for as long as we had. And I
guess he was ashamed of himself, because he did a really good job of
hiding the memory from us. A while after that, Leah fell sick. And well...
the rest was, as they say, history. Thanks Quil. I think we owe you a few
more forfeits for that one.

SETH CLEARWATER

  Those few weeks were the worst. I tried to be at Jake's house as much as
I could, to help him and Billy out; but it wasn't easy when I was running
double shifts every day. With Jake out of action, we all had to pull more
than our weight to cover him. I volunteered to do the bulk of it. It was
easier for me than the others, since I was doing this almost as a personal
favor to Jake. I felt useless otherwise, just sitting on my ass not doing
anything to help. After we'd taken down Victoria, and were officially bad-
vamp free, the guys thought that we'd be getting a break, and have to do
a lot less patrolling. That couldn't be further from the truth. Tensions
with the Cullens were higher than ever, knowing that they might turn
Bella any day. Sam wanted to make our presence felt on the treaty lines.
The feeling in the air was electric. We weren't even waiting for a kill. One
bite and we were ready to declare war.
  Even so, we all thought it would be way easier, doing this with two more
wolves, but Leah wasn't much help. And every time I went home, she was
there; ready to yell at me for one thing or another. We'd never gotten
along in the first place, but it was worse now that she was a werewolf and
on edge all the time.
  I'd like to say that I was in control of myself, but the truth was that I
wasn't going to take Leah's shit, especially not when she took it out on
mom or when she brought Jake into the argument. I came close to
phasing a few times, but never actually lost control. Wish I could say the
same for her. If the rest of us were wolves, she was a wolverine - vicious
and quick to anger. Mom thought it was best if we were kept separate.
That suited me fine; I took the chance to stay over at Jake's more often.
  It helped that Leah and I weren't in the same pack. There had been no
initiation for her - none of the boys were the least bit interested. They'd
spent months seeing her through Sam's eyes, and more recently through
mine, as a sister. When she phased for the first time, the whole pack
stood around trying to decide what to do with her. We settled on
something that was humiliating enough, yet completely practical: we'd
cut her hair off. For someone as vain as Leah, she might as well have
been scarred with acid. It did the job. Her fur wasn't ridiculously shaggy
like it was before, and she didn't show her face in public for a week. In
the end, mom joined her. In a show of solidarity, mom sliced off her own
hair one night at the dinner table with a kitchen knife. Leah stopped
crying over it after that.
  But proper initiation or not, she had been inducted into their pack. Her
loyalty was to Sam, and she had no say in that. A kind of irony, really,
that she was forced to see into the head of the guy who more or less tore
her world apart, to watch as he dreamt about going home to Emily every
night. Maybe she deserved it. If only she could learn to let go. But she'd
always been stubborn. In any case, I was lucky she couldn't hear my
thoughts. None of them could. They could hear me when Jake was there,
the link between the two packs, loyal to one, leader to the other. But
without him there, I was cut off.

  It was weird at first, running alone like that. It felt like the world was
completely empty when I couldn't hear them in my head. I knew they
were talking, I could see it from the shifting of their eyes, the movement
of their heads. But for them to be able to say anything to me, we would
both have to phase to human, talk it out, then phase back and keep
running again. It was really time consuming, and was all-out annoying
after a while. And every time we phased to human to talk, I'd see the
hunger building in their faces at the sight of my body. They had spent
months wanting me in every way Jake wanted me, sharing his need for
me. I can't even say how scary it was, having these big boys close in,
panting after me. It was like my initiation all over again.
  Embry and Sam always looked out for me, though. Both of them kind of
felt like it was kind of their responsibility to make sure I didn't get in any
trouble when Jake wasn't around. I mean, it was nice of them, but I
didn't think I needed protecting. But knowing they were there for me felt
like at least some sort of acceptance into the pack. Way better than being
the outcast I was at the start. I guess I'd won them over with my stunt
with Riley, and they had to accept me now as a decent fighter. Even Paul
had to treat me with some respect.

  We were in bed one night, Jake and I. My bed. My way-too-small-for-the
two-of-us bed. It'd been a few weeks since Jake got "The Thing", as we
nicknamed his cast, and we'd just gotten used to cramming me, him and
"it" into his bed... but we didn't think that it would be that much worse
in mine. I'd been clinging on to the edge of the mattress for dear life the
whole night. The sound of rain on my window was usually great for
falling asleep to, but not tonight. It was hot, I was uncomfortable, and I
had the weight of Jake's cast crushing my leg.
  The rain was exactly the reason why we were here. He and I had been
having dinner here with mom when the storm rolled in without warning.
Within a few minutes, the roads had been reduced to mud. Thanks to
The Thing, walking back to his house in rain this heavy wasn't even an
option. And of course phasing was out. So we crashed here. I didn't
mind, really. Leah was out running, and it was amazing the difference
that made. It actually felt good to be home.

  I was on the verge of finally falling away into sleep when there was a
sharp banging on the back door. Godammit! Leah probably locked herself
out again. I peeled myself off the mattress, pulled on my shorts and went
to answer it. The banging hadn't stopped.
  "Yeah, yeah, give it a rest, I'm coming," I grumbled. She'd owe me big for
this one.
  But when I opened the door, it wasn't Leah.
  "Sam?"
  He looked puffed, from running, I guess. I don't think I'd ever seen him
as out of breath as this, though. Usually when we ran as wolves and
shifted back, we didn't feel the strain. He must've run here in human
form.
  "Can I come in?" he asked. A flash of lightning shot though the sky, and
lit up his dark eyes for a moment.
  "Yeah, sure, come on," I said. I immediately went to grab him a towel
without a second thought - something I'd gotten used to when Jake
dropped by on rainy nights. As he wiped his face, I noticed the gleam of
his teeth in the darkness, the intensity of his stare. I looked away,
anywhere else, but couldn't keep my eyes from stopping on his monster
meat. It was hard as steel, pressed flat against his tight, heaving abs. My
gaze dropped to my feet, but it was too late. He'd already caught me
looking.
  "Jake's here," I stammered, gesturing to my room.
  "Good. I hoped he'd be. I went to his house looking for him, but he
wasn't there. So I figured he'd be with you."
  "Well, you were right," I laughed awkwardly. He took a step towards me,
and I edged back out of instinct, until my heel struck the wall. Dammit!
He leaned in, towering over me, the heat wafting off his still-damp skin
like summer rain on hot asphalt.
  "You know, maybe Jake's not my best option right now..." he breathed.
  "Oh, really?" my voice threatened to break, "but... weren't you looking
for him?"
  "Yeah, but I was looking for a good fuck," that last word growled in the
bottom of his throat. "And Jake's... well, Jake's a little hard to deal with
at the moment" His placed his large hand on my shoulder, hot and
heavy, and I'm sure all he could feel was the frantic thumping of my
heart.
  "See the thing is... I come home from running... it's late, Emily's already
asleep, and I'm boned up like hell, yeah?"
  My gaze slipped down to his raging hard-on.
  I gulped. "Yeah..."
  "So I go looking for my boys. Quil's first off the rank; he's always up for
a pounding," he flashed me a wolf-like grin, "but I get to his house, and
what's this? He's off babysitting Claire. I'm like, fuck! Next up is Jacob, of
course. I don't want to phase, though, 'cos Leah's running, and I'm pretty
sure she's not going to make my night any better. So I'm sprinting on
two legs, yeah, naked, cock smacking around like a bitch, halfway across
town to Jake's place. Bang on his window, but the motherfucker isn't
there either! You've got to understand now, I'm horny as hell, pissed off,
and wet as a drowned mutt. I think; I'll try one last place, 'cos there's got
to be at least someone there, no way would the both of them be gone..."
  He trailed off, his grin even wider than before, almost salivating as he bit
his lip. "And what do I find there?" He was staring at me with a look of
pure hunger that I'd seen before - in Jake's memories, the look he got
from Sam in the days before his initiation.
  "I can't make you do this, Seth, not like my other boys... I can only give
you orders through him," he jerked his head towards the partly-open
door of my room, "But I guess that's what makes it so enticing, huh?
Having something held out right in front of me that I can't have... and I'm
so used to getting everything I want." His hands glided down my arms,
"and, thanks to your boyfriend, I've wanted this for a very long time."
  It was hard to resist his pull, the gleam in his eyes, the way the rumble
in his voice sounded like pure sex. It'd be okay, wouldn't it? Jake told me
to have fun with the guys. I knew he did it too, all the time. So, as Sam
pushed my shorts to the ground and started lapping at my already stiff
cock, I could only hope that Jake wouldn't mind.

  We tumbled down the hallway, a mess of limbs as we scuffled towards to
the couch in the living room. I'd already kicked my shorts off after
tripping over them a couple of times. Sam stubbed his toe on something
and started to swear, but I shushed him, stifling a giggle and whispering
at the same time that my mom would hear us. He pulled me down onto
the couch with him, his lips finding their way up my neck. We tried to be
quiet, but we both needed this so bad that I caught myself whimpering
into Sam's mouth as his tongue pushed its way into mine.
  No bullshit, that was Sam's style, as I came to learn. He flipped us over
so that he was straddling me, his big hands and blunt fingernails
dragging down my chest, across my stomach, down to the lines at the
base of my torso. His touch drove me nuts, the electricity in my groin
building as he got closer and closer to my throbbing rod. With one finger,
he scooped up a drop of pre-cum from its head, and stuck it in his
mouth. The look he gave me then was so hot, so goddamn sexy that I
couldn't wait for him to fuck me.
  My hunger, my need for him obviously showed, because his face
immediately lit up in the dark room. He had his weight on me and my
back was grinding up against the wooden armrest, but I didn't care. This
was going to be hard and fast. The only thing I wanted was him inside
me. He pushed into me, and I yelped in shock. His hand was clamped
over my mouth in a flash. He put a finger to his lips, smiling
patronizingly back at me as he reminded me to be quiet. Every muscle in
his body was taught as he pumped his thick meat into my ass, his strong
thighs flexing with each push, his shoulders and arms rippling as he
pulled himself back. Our hips kept rocking in that rhythm, with Sam
trying as hard as he could to keep his pace, and not race us over the edge
too quickly.
  I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, wanting
his heat, his scent, the feeling of his rock-solid muscles giving everything
they could to fucking me harder. Suddenly, I was being whooshed
through the air. Sam had lifted me clear off the couch, and was carrying
my whole weight, his thick arms straining as he bobbed me up and down
on his pole. I crushed our lips together, stifling our moans, interrupting
our gasps for breath.
  "Fuck, you've grown!" Sam grunted through clenched teeth.
  "Too heavy for you, big boy?"
  "Hell no!" he scoffed, "I mean YOUR own big boy... damn, Seth!"
  I glanced down. Huh. I guess he'd never really taken a good look at me
hard.
  "Jake takes that?" he asked, genuinely shocked.
  "When I ask him nicely," I tried to smirk, but ended up pulling a face as
Sam let go of my weight. I tightened my legs around him instinctively, to
stop myself from falling. But he had my back, literally; his hands grasped
onto my arched body. As the shock of suddenly being dropped wore off, I
became very much aware of how deep Sam was inside me. It was like
sitting on a fucking fencepost! My butt was resting on his pubes - with
all of however-long-he-was skewering me. I was panting, not used to this
feeling at all, and so was he. It took us both a few moments to get used to
it, but not before he was going full-bore again. He pushed me up against
a wall, and my attempts to hush him were stifled again when he locked
our lips together. A smart move, because when he started up again like a
pile driver, I was glad that I was yelling down his throat instead of
waking up the whole house.
  My cock wanted attention so bad, but I couldn't let go of the back of
Sam's neck; it was all I could do to hold myself up. So I mashed our
bodies closer, putting my head on Sam's shoulder. The two of us were
now breathing, gasping, grunting into each others' ears. My cock ground
up against his abs... and the feeling of his sizzling, sweat-slicked skin
rubbing against it threatened to make me cum within seconds. I
managed to hold off, pulling away from him when I got too close,
grinding my hard-on against him again when I could take it.
  Sam's fiery eyes drilled into me nearly as hard as his fuck-stick did. Our
overheated bodies were bathed in sweat, running down our faces and
into my mouth when I moaned.
  "I'm gonna cum in you," he said, "you cool with that?"
  "Yeah... Awwwwhhh! Whatever you want, Sam!"
  I braced myself, but it was too soon. He fucked me for a while more
before the tension began to spread through his muscles. Only then did
his grip on my back tighten, and I kissed him deeply as he went off inside
me. He was shuddering, convulsing, and he nearly lost his grip on me a
few times. I just held on tighter, clinging on to him as he drained the last
of his load.
  "Fuck, Seth!" he breathed.
  Before I could respond, his hands were under me again. I let out an
involuntary yelp - still a little lightheaded, and afraid that he was going
to drop me. Sam wasn't messing around, though. He knew what he was
doing. Carefully, he lifted me up, coaxing me into relaxing my vice-like
grip around his neck. I thought that it was over, that now that he'd
gotten what he wanted, he'd just get up and go home. How wrong I was.
  He stopped when I was about three-quarters off his cock. I looked at him
quizzically, but his face betrayed nothing. Instead, he twisted his body,
and dipped me down a bit. "What is he doing?" I wondered. Then, all of a
sudden, my questions were answered by the feeling that shot through my
entire body.
  "Augggghhhrrr! Jeezus!" I hissed, trying to stay as quiet as I possibly
could while my vision filled with stars.
  "You like that?"
  "Fuck... you're gonna make me cum, Sam!"
  "What? By doing this?" he probed that spot inside me again. I nearly bit
my tongue in two.
  "Awwhhhrrr... yeahhh... that!"
  Sam chuckled, a low sound that reverberated through his wide chest. It
made his whole body buzz, right through to his throbbing rod.
  "I'm gonna cum!" I yelped.
  "Yeah, do it," he said, "shoot it on me..."
  Without even touching myself, with just the head of my cock brushing
up against his taught abs, I sprayed my load all over Sam. I couldn't stop
shaking; not as long as he kept expertly running the end of his long pole
into that magic spot, making me cum harder and harder with each
nudge. Finally, he set me back down on the couch, pulling out of me as
he did, and leaving me feeling suddenly very empty. He was still hard.
The mixture of cum and sweat running down his dark skin glistened in
the faint light.
  "Shit, you cum a lot don't you?" he said with a slight laugh. He
disappeared into the hallway for a second, and returned with my shorts,
which he was using to mop the mess off his body.
  "Mind if I crash on the couch?" he asked, "I'm kind of wiped."
  "Um... sure," I stuttered, my wits still not completely about me, "I'll grab
you a blanket."
  "Don't need one."
  "Leah's coming home soon, and mom wakes up early. You're gonna
need one." I hopped up onto my feet and went to the cupboard in the
hallway. By the time I'd found a blanket that was big enough and come
back, Sam was out like a light. I draped the light cloth over him, and
smiled to myself. "Not so tough when you're asleep, huh?" I thought. He
was actually even kind of cute. You know, the way a sleeping tiger is
cute. Until you wake it up.

                                 *

  I'd been awoken by many things in the past couple of months, but I
have to say, a girl's scream wasn't the nicest of them.
  Especially since this girl sounded more like a banshee.
  Oh shit. I darted out into the living room like a lightning bolt.
  Sam stood, clutching the blanket to his crotch, facing Leah, who had
her face buried in her hands. He saw me, and gave me a little shrug, like
'what was I supposed to do?'
  "What is HE doing in this house?" Leah barked.
  "Great..." I muttered under my breath. I weaved my way past Leah and
started dragging Sam back towards my room.
  She must've caught sight of me, because she shrieked again.
  "Oh. My. GOD. Does ANYONE know what clothes are around here?" she
crossed to the kitchen, keeping her hands near her eyes. "It's like... living
on the Discovery Channel!"
  "Woman, you discovered this a long time ago!" Sam taunted. I thwacked
him in the gut to get that stupid smirk off his face, and shoved him into
my room, slamming the door shut behind me. Jake was waking up from
all the commotion.
  "What the hell's going on out there?" he croaked. "Oh, hey Sam."
  "Hey man," Sam said casually, "how's the leg?"
  Jake started to reply, but I cut him off.
  "Okay, you two stay in here and let me assess the damage." I turned to
head back out.
  "You... might want to put some clothes on," Sam suggested.
  I cussed; then went to the dresser to grab some shorts.
  "Not that I'm complaining or anything," Sam carried on, "damn, that is
a fine piece of... Jake, you lucky son-of-a-bitch, you take that?"
  "Dude, I know, huh? It's like sitting on a redwood..."
  I closed the door on them as I stomped out into the hallway. Mom was
there now, talking in a hushed voice to Leah.
  "...and he has rights in this house, too, young lady! You don't run this
place; I do! And when I tell you to treat your brother with respect, you do
as I say!"
  "Hey, mom..." I butted in, "it's not totally her fault..."
  She turned to me, and then shook her head at no-one in particular.
  "Apologize to him," she nodded at Leah.
  "I'm... sorry. I overreacted."
  "Yeah, that's okay," I stared at the ground in front of her, "I should've
told Sam to be more discreet. I know you and him don't really..."
  "Yes! Okay! Let's not make this any more awkward than it already is,"
she marched straight to her room and shut the door with a bang.
  Mom just eyed me off, suspiciously.
  "Doesn't Sam have his own bed, in his own house?"
  "He came here to talk to me," I sucked at lying, but I was guessing she'd
prefer this to the truth anyway, "and we got tired and fell asleep."
  "He came here to talk to you... with no clothes on?"
  God. Why couldn't she just let the whole thing drop?
  "Yeah," I laughed uncomfortably, "it's a werewolf thing, trust me. It's
complicated."
  She raised her eyebrows at me for a moment, then gave up and headed
into the kitchen instead.
  "You left your shorts in here last night as well. I hope werewolves do
their own laundry, cos I ain't touching THOSE."
  Crap.

  Sam was already peeking out the door of my room when I got back.
  "Is the coast clear?"
  "Affirmative," I sighed, "no evil-harpy sightings reported."
  "Good, 'cos I've got to go." He stole past me, tiptoeing towards the back
door.
  "Oh, and uh..." he said in a voice so low I was hearing it through the
vibrations in his chest, "you might want to have a talk to Jacob. He's...
yeah... I'll let you figure it out." With a flash of a good-luck thumbs-up,
he slipped out the door, letting it close behind him without a sound.
  Uh-oh. What's the matter? I took a deep breath, shaking my head a little
to clear it.
  "Jake?" I asked self-consciously as I stepped back into my room. He'd
managed to sit himself up on the edge of my bed, but was still slumped
over. "Wanna get some breakfast?"
  "Sure, sure," he replied half-heartedly.
  I sat down next to him, rubbing his back. "What's wrong?"
  "Nah, nothing..." he mumbled. Bullshit. This was typical 'something's-
wrong-but-I'm-too-much-of-a-man-to-say-it' Jake. I waited. He'd come
round. I gave it another minute. "You and Sam have fun last night?" he
finally said. Ah. So that was it.
  "Sure," I tried my best to keep the tone in my voice light, "it was... fun...
you know... just... something different."
  A weary smile pulled on the edge of his lips.
  "Jake, it meant nothing. Hey, you were the one who told me..."
  "I know!" he sat up, and I could see his eyes for the first time. They were
tired, ringed with dark circles. He hadn't slept all night. "I heard
everything, Seth..."
  Shit. I thought we'd been pretty quiet. If he heard, had mom...? No,
wait: werewolf hearing.
  "I don't like sharing you with them," he said bluntly.
  I opened my mouth in protest, but no sound came out.
  "I know I told you to go do what you want with the guys... but... shit,
Seth, look what it's doing to me! I... I'm not cut out to deal with this. I
don't think I can handle it."
  "I'm... sorry?" I tried to apologize. It fell flat on its face. Jake chuckled to
himself, shaking his head.
  "What's there to be sorry for? You're just... doing what we werewolves
do. I'm the one to blame here... I'm too weak." He stared out the window
at the dreary morning. "How did you do it Seth? How did you put up
with me?"
  "Put up with what?"
  "You know, me fucking around with the guys."
  "I didn't really know about it," I said, "I mean, I knew it was happening,
but I didn't know... details. I guess if I did, I would've been upset too."
  "Yeah, but you knew it was happening, and you still dealt with it. But
just the thought of you... with someone else... man, it's killing me!" he
slammed his good hand down hard on the mattress.
  "Well, I guess..." I started, not even sure what I wanted to say, "I never
really thought I deserved you in the first place. So when you... did stuff...
with the guys, I didn't think I was missing anything. I thought I was
lucky to get ANY time with you at all."
  Jake huffed. "Boy, have you got it wrong."
  "Whaddaya mean?"
  "Talking 'bout who deserves who?" he raised his eyebrows at me, "look
at us! All you've ever been to me is trusting, caring... the perfect guy. And
you do one thing, ONE THING which I even gave you permission to do...
and I turn into a jealous mess!"
  "It's okay Jake" I reassured him, "I won't do it anymore if you don't want
me to. Seriously, it wasn't even that good anyway. I'd way prefer to be
with you."
  Jake laughed a little. "There you go again. I tell you I need to change,
get over myself, learn to accept all this, and you go and give me an easy
way out. Man, clearly it's me who doesn't deserve you."
  We were quiet for a while. In the kitchen, mom was making breakfast.
The distant clanging filled the silence.
  "I think what's shitting me most is that I can't phase," Jake sighed. "I've
got all these pent-up feelings inside me, and I can't even go run it off.
This sucks."
  "It'll be okay in a couple of weeks," I offered, "when you can phase
again."
  "Yeah, I guess I'll just have to be more Zen for the time being, huh?" he
said. "Look, um... I think I need some time alone. Are you running
today?"
  I nodded.
  "'Kay... I'll call you later then." He got up, grabbed his crutches and
started hobbling towards the door.
  "Don't you want something to eat?" I asked as I opened it for him.
  "Nah, not hungry," the faintest smile shimmered across his tired face.
"Love you," he said, then kissed me quickly on the lips.

  "What are YOU still doing here?" Leah's grating voice rang out from the
front of the house, even before Jake was two feet out of my room.
  "Piss off, I was just on my way out," he retorted.
  "Now, Jacob, don't you listen to her. You're welcome to stay as long as
you want," mom said calmly.
  "Thanks, Sue, but I should be getting back to Billy and all that..."
Jake's replied, his voice trailing off unconvincingly.
  "Don't forget Bella!" Leah jeered. "Bet she misses you."
  I glared at Leah from across the room. Her face was stone-cold.
  Jake turned back over his shoulder. "You don't even know what you're
talking about."
  "'Course I do. It's 'cos of you that I'm stuck with these sickening dreams
of that leech-lover! Get over her already!" Leah's expression was twisting
into a snarl. I couldn't believe it, but she was actually enjoying causing
him pain.
  Jake scoffed at her. "You're so full of shit, Leah. I'm nothing BUT over
her."
  "Yeah right, and I'm Poca-fucking-hontas!"
  "Language!" mom scolded.
  "You're still so whipped by her. Huh? That's probably why you still
haven't told her that you're doing my brother!"
  "Leah, that's enough!" mom yelled again.
  "You're sick. Twisted, and bitter, and sick," Jake growled, "and someday
you're going to get yours. Oh wait a minute, you already have. I pity you."
He scoffed at her. "Sue? Seth? It's been nice," he gave each of us a quick
nod, then left.
  "Coward!" Leah yelled out after him.
  There was a moment of complete, awkward silence. Then mom simply
put down her mug, wiped her hands on a dishcloth, and went to her
room. And I went to mine - our only escape from Leah in this tiny house.

  The knock on my door came much later, at nearly midday. The only
other sounds had been footsteps on the creaky floorboards, punctuated
by Leah noisily putting things back in the cupboards with a heavy hand.
That had all stopped about half an hour ago, and I thought she might
have left the house, and it'd be safe to go outside again.
  "Seth!"
  I could tell she was trying to be genial, but her tone still came across as
harsh.
  "Wharrrtt?" I mumbled into my pillow.
  "I came to say... sorry." Wow. She actually got the words out without
bursting into flames. This deserved the Nobel Peace Prize - or at least for
me to open the door. Neither was going to happen.
  "Don't apologize to me," I said, staring off into a corner of the ceiling,
"apologize to Jake."
  I could just see her seething at the thought.
  "Hey, you owe him one. Don't bring up Bella with him, though - it's a
touchy subject."
  "How do you put up with that?" she baulked.
  "It's called trust. You should try it sometime."
  "Yeah, I did that, once. I thought I could trust him, but then he changed
his mind. Going by last night, though, he's a bit more into you now than
he ever was into me."
  Good thing she couldn't see me, because I went bright red. Shit...
  "Look, just tell me where to find Jake so I can get this over with," she
whined.
  "He said he wanted to be alone. Probably means he's up on the cliffs,
near the diving spot."
  Leah didn't respond, waiting for me to elaborate on directions.
  "Just phase," I sighed, "you can sniff him out. He can't have gotten far,
he's on crutches."
  I listened as she dragged herself out the door like I'd just sent her to run
a forfeit. Somehow she'd come back and make this all my fault, even
thought SHE was the one who wanted to apologize. At least this gave me
a temporary break from her insanity. It was finally safe to go outside
again. I knocked on mom's door to give her the all-clear.

  "Where'd she go?" mom enquired, coming out of her room into the
uncharacteristically quiet house.
  "To apologize to Jake,"
  She looked incredulous, and then sat down next to me on the couch.
  "You put her up to this, didn't you?" I asked.
  "What? Me? No! Never," she replied defensively.
  "Mom, it's okay, I can't lie either."
  She laughed. "Someone has to keep her under control. She's a wild one.
Reminds me of myself when I was her age... You on the other hand, are
too much like your father: too naive, too quick to see the good in people.
It's why he married a head-case like me!" she chortled, but quickly grew
sad and quiet after that. There was a bit of a pause as we both let
memories of dad, many of which took place in this very room, wash over
us.
  "Hey, mom?" I started after the long silence "...what do you think dad
would've thought... of Jake and me?"
  "Well, your father always liked Jacob. 'Billy's boy', he called him, 'he's a
good kid; much better than that Rachel and that Rebecca - abandoning
their crippled father like that.' I think he would've seen a kind of
confluence in two best friends' sons turning out to be... best friends."
  "He wouldn't have thought I was... letting him down... at all?"
  "Oh Seth," she beamed at me, "your father was, above all else, a
practical man. To him, manhood didn't come from being macho and
pretending to be someone you weren't. It was about accepting everything
that you were, the good and the bad, struggling against your hardships,
overcoming your obstacles, and never giving up. To be a man was to take
control of a situation, to be a valuable and respected member of the
community, and a trustworthy friend. Those values got him far. It's how
he managed to tame me!" she giggled. "It's why he was on the council.
And it's why they chose him to coach Sam Uley when he first started out
as the new Pack Leader."
  "Dad coached Sam?" I asked. I wondered why I'd never seen it in any of
Sam's memories.
  She nodded. "I didn't know either until I joined the council. I still don't
know a lot of things about what he did there. But trust me, Seth. He
would've been proud of the admirable young man you've become. He
would've respected your choices; probably even commended you for
choosing what you really want, in your heart... even if it means taking
the harder road."
  I smiled, feeling kind of embarrassed, kind of sad... and very relieved.

                                   *

  I poked at my dinner absentmindedly. Earlier, mom and I had gone to
Billy and Jake's to give them the extra two serves she'd made for them.
Billy, as always, was glad to see us. Jake wasn't home yet. I couldn't help
but worry, and started to tune mom's jabbering about Leah's bad temper
out of my head.
  "Billy, do you mind if I go into Jake's room?"
  "It's practically your room, too, son," he chuckled, and he and mom
shared a jibe about how they should save both our families a whole lot of
time and just move in together.
  I entered the darkened room and, even though I'd been in here a
hundred times - slept in here, voiced some of my most intimate thoughts
here - tonight, it felt like walking into another world. There was a chill in
the air that I never felt when Jake was here. I flicked the light on, and
even its glow felt colder, more unreal. Something made me feel uneasy,
wrong. I looked around at the familiar surroundings. Something was...
off. The varied possessions that were crammed onto the top of his dresser
were more ordered than usual, like someone had neatened them up. Not
Jake, he never cleaned his room.
  Then I saw it. Amongst it all, an envelope made of thick, ivory-colored
paper was at the centre of the organized mess, leaning against a small
wooden box. I picked up the envelope and inspected it for a second, but
then was distracted by the intricate beauty of the box. It was hand-
carved, that was obvious. The dark, robust wood had been chiseled by an
expert hand, leaving barely enough space to wedge a sheet of paper under
the lid. Bands of tribal patterns adorned all four sides. On top was a
carving of two wolves, howling at a glowing white moon made of inlaid
shell. I reached out to pick it up...
  "I'll take that, thank you," Billy's voice startled me from behind.
  I whipped around to see his stern, deeply lined expression, unmoving as
a cliff-face.
  "The envelope please, Seth."
  With a trembling hand, I handed it over to him. The second it was
within his reach, he snatched it out of my grasp. His eyes still watching
mine, he wedged the bulky rectangle of paper between his leg and the
side of his wheelchair.
  "Alright, Billy, that's all I came to do..." mom called over as she
straightened out the two simple but tidy place settings at the table. Billy
lapsed back into his usual warm manner as he wheeled towards the
kitchen, and I was left shaky, and a little dumbfounded.

  What was in that envelope? More specifically, what was in it that Billy
didn't want me to see? The images from those few fleeting moments
replayed through my head as I searched them for any clue as to what
might have taken place. The envelope... and that box... both things were
so out of place in Jake's little room. Too formal, too nice compared to the
rough-and-ready pine furniture that filled the rest of the space. The
envelope: white and crisp and cool. The box: solid and earthy and warm.
Together they formed an incoherent image in my mind. The more I
thought about it, the more I couldn't help but think of the fight up in the
mountains, with Edward and me poised back to back, cool-white against
earthy-brown.
  The ringing of the phone shattered my thoughts. Mom answered it
before my brain had even caught up with what was going on.
  "Billy?" she asked, surprised, "is something...? Oh. Yes, he's here. Hang
on a second, I'll put him on." She clamped her hand over the mouthpiece.
"He wants to talk to you."
  I took the phone from her, and curled my legs up onto my chair, trying
to suppress the sickening feeling already rising in my stomach. I knew
mom didn't like feet on the chairs at the dinner table, but judging from
the troubled look on her face, that was the least of our worries right now.
  "Hello, Billy?" I said anxiously.
  "Seth, is he there?"
  It was clear who he meant.
  "No? Why would he be? Is something wrong?" I looked at mom, her eyes
already wide with concern.
  "Nothing... no, nothing to be alarmed about," Billy said, but his tone
betrayed his words. He wasn't calm, and neither should we have been.
"He just... took off. I assumed he'd go straight to your place... but... I
guess he could be anywhere!" He gave a nervous laugh. "But he phased,
that's what I'm worried about... the doctor said he shouldn't phase for at
least..."
  I dropped the phone. Mom called after me, but it was no use. I was
already bolting for the door.
  Before I'd even gotten near it, it swung open in front of me. Sam stood
there, the light pouring out from the house casting deep shadows across
his Alpha face. He'd seen the panic in my eyes, and he lunged.
  But I was faster than Sam. Whirling around on my heel, I was running
for the back door in a split-second. Out of the corner of my eye, mom had
picked the phone up off the table and was holding it with both hands,
pressed against her ear. Her mouth hung open, but there was no sound,
just a look of complete shock.
  It was just enough to distract me, because when I looked back towards
my goal, Quil and Embry filled the back door, and I was running straight
into their ensnaring arms.
  I struggled hard against them. I knew there wasn't much use; both
these boys were bigger, stronger than me. They locked me down, two
pairs of arms grabbing me, restraining my thrashing, frantic movements.
But they say there's a strength that comes from nowhere at the moments
when you need it most. When someone you love is in danger, there's
nothing you can't overcome. That was probably how I found myself
breaking out of their grip, and sprinting across my backyard. I reached
speeds that were most likely breaking world records, and then exploded
out of my clothes into a hurtling ball of sandy-brown fur that was quickly
tearing through the forest.
  <JAKE!> I yelled.
  If he was anywhere, anywhere without a thousand miles, he would hear
me.
  <JAKE!> I yelled again. I willed every neuron in my brain into thinking
his name, into making him hear me. I could feel him; sense his presence,
as always when we were wolves together. He was trying hard not to think
of the pack, but it was unnatural for him, and glimpses of his mind bled
through. They showed me where he was going; he wasn't far, but he was
heading for the Canadian border. I wheeled around that way too.
  <Don't follow me,> his voice came back, flat and cold. It didn't even
sound like him. There was no hint at all of the reason why he was
running away.
  Then the realization hit me, that he was handing himself over to the
wolf's instincts. He wasn't - didn't want to be - Jake anymore. Now he
was just a mind lost in the animal's body. My legs crumbled under me.
Thorns and rocks scratched at my underside. I must've slowed down,
enough for Sam, Quil and Embry to catch up with me in human form.
They approached me cautiously, glancing between each other for some
idea of what to do.
  "We should phase."
  "Why? We won't even be able to hear him."
  "Shhh... give him a minute, will you?"
  <Jake...> I whimpered, thinking only to myself now. I imagined him as
if he were in front of me, as if I were really talking to him, <I know you're
in there; and I know you can hear me, Jake. Please? You don't have to
go... Whatever it is, we can work it out together. I love you, Jake! And I
don't wanna be without you! Please... don't... don't leave me.>
  He couldn't ignore the emotion in my voice. No, not just in my voice. We
were one mind, and he could physically feel how much he was hurting
me. One or two incoherent thoughts leaked through. No words. He was
no longer thinking in language.
  Amongst the jumble of pictures, I caught a glimpse of a scene from his
memory. It was of my own sleeping face, illuminated by the pale
moonlight streaming through his bedroom window. The memory came
into sharp focus as it surged through my mind, how cool my lips were to
his touch as he pressed two of his fingers against them, how heavy his
heart was with regret that he had to go.
  <Kwop kalawo'li...>
  It was what he had whispered to me in the dark that night, and the only
words he was capable of now.
  Sam came up to me and put his hand on my side. I didn't know if
wolves could cry, but I was coming pretty close.
  "Let him be, Seth," Sam intoned in a voice like distant rolling thunder,
"he'll come home when he's ready."
  <I love you too, Jake,> I whispered to the wind, <don't forget that.>

                                    *

  A cold draft whipped through the room. The front door was open, and it
was pouring heavily outside. There was a muted exchange of low voices,
then the squelching of wet, bare feet as the two switched places. Paul left,
and Embry came and took his place. He stood in entrance for a second,
waiting for something. In another time, I would've been thrilled to see
Embry, to have him over at my house. As it was, his presence washed
over me.
  "Seth, sorry bro... I don't want to be a pain... but can I please have a
towel?"
  I nodded to no-one in particular, and then started to get up.
  "It's okay, I can get it myself... just tell me where they are."
  "Hallway," I muttered, "cupboard on the right."
  I fixed my gaze out the window on the far side of the room. It was mid-
morning, but the sky hadn't gotten any brighter since dawn, when mom
left for work and Leah pissed off to a place where she could make
someone else's life hell. I curled my arms back around my knees and sat
like that, a ball in the middle of the sofa, while Embry returned with a
towel and started drying his hair.
  "So... what do you want to do today?" he asked, sounding a bit at a loss.
  "Nothing," I replied.
  "We could rent some movies? Have a day in? Make some popcorn, watch
something cool?"
  I shook my head.
  "...no? Okay... well... Paul said you could borrow his Xbox?"
  Fuck, no.
  "We could go running?"
  Now that was just adding insult to injury.
  "We'll take a drive to Seattle?" He was really clutching at straws. I wish
he wouldn't try to be so upbeat about this. This was usually Quil's job, to
try to make light of a situation. Or mine. Not his. Optimistic just didn't
suit Embry at all.
  "Come on, dude, I'm trying to make this easier on you, okay?" he
sighed, finally reverting back to the usual, no-shit Embry, "co-operate a
bit here, help me out."
  "I just... can you... can you just stay with me?" I asked, looking at the
floor. I didn't want him to see the pools building in my eyes.
  "Sure, buddy. As long as you want me here, I'll stay."

  The day dragged on, and I didn't move. Mom came home from work
during her lunch break to check on me, bringing food for a few of the
pack boys and me. Embry devoured his share, and Jared and Quil did
too when they stopped by later. Mine went untouched. That night,
Embry went running again while Sam stayed over. Leah was warned this
time - and she graciously chose to spend the night at a friend's. The next
day was the same routine, with different faces. And the next day. And the
one after that. I lost track of time, the position of the sun in the sky, the
rhythms of life that passed in and out of this house. Billy didn't visit. I
didn't expect him to. Mom gave her shot at offering me comfort, but in
the end even she figured that this situation was best left to my brothers
to handle.
  But, by the fourth night, even my dulled, indifferent mind started to
notice patterns: a predominance of certain faces that were spending time
with me. I saw Quil and Sam a lot, but Embry most of all. He'd appear
constantly, now and then throughout the day - either before or after
running a shift, in the evenings when he had nothing else to do, and
then, after a while, he'd stay the night, every night.

  It was on one of these abnormally warm summer nights that I lay awake
long after I'd gone to bed. The swirling shadows on the ceiling conspired
to keep me up, and it felt like my senses were heightened, unable to tune
anything out. At about half-past midnight, the back door creaked open,
and Embry's now-familiar soft footsteps crossed to my door. He peeked
in, at my eyes closed and pretending to be asleep. Satisfied, he went to
his usual makeshift bed in the front of the house.
  Slowly, over the next span of intangibly-passing time, I became very
conscious of my breathing, and that of everyone else in the tiny building;
mom in her room, Leah across the hallway, and Embry on the couch in
the living room. The heat was still too much for me, and my mind was too
alert. I found myself clambering out of my bed, nudging the door open,
and shuffling into the front room. Embry was splayed out on the couch,
his tall frame too long for it. His feet hung off the end of one armrest; his
head leaned on the other. I let my fingers hover an inch from his skin,
feeling the warmth coming off his body. They drifted over the smooth
muscles in his chest, the ridges of his abs, until they came to his hand,
resting lazily on his thigh.
  I brushed his skin, just the slightest touch.
  He shifted. His brow furrowed a little.
  "Mmm... yeah, dude? What's up?" he whispered with his eyes still
closed.
  I took his hand, tugging at it. He was reluctant at first. His body was
heavy and weighed down with sleep. But finally he came with me,
shuffling along as I led him towards my room. Without a word, I settled
myself back into bed, and he must've gotten the message, because he
squeezed in next to me.
  It was still frustratingly warm. Two bodies in the small bed didn't make
it better. But when Embry curled his arm around my waist and weaved
his fingers through mine, I felt a kind of peace wash over me that I'd
forgotten. It felt like pulling on an old sweater you used to love, like
swimming in the lake you used to swim in as a kid. It felt like coming
home.

  And so we kept it up; Embry and my unusual arrangement. During the
day, he'd drop in as often as he could, and every night, he'd curl up with
me in my bed. We started to develop an understanding with each other;
after all, we'd both just lost a friend, someone who was a huge part of our
lives. For me, the deep, choking urge to cry came less when Embry was
around. He wasn't filling the void - no-one could fill that void. And
anyway, no one would need to. Jake was going to come back. But in the
meantime, Embry made getting by from day-to-day easier, and I think I
made things easier on him as well.
  He became a permanent fixture at our house, like the big brother I never
had. Mom was wary at first. She didn't like the thought of me getting this
emotionally attached to someone else again. To her, I guess, it seemed
like all the male role-models in my life were destined to abandon me. She
treated Embry with a lot of caution, until she began to accept that he was
actually helping me through. I'd been leaving the house more, hanging
out with my brothers again. There was only one more thing: I refused to
phase. Without Jake there, that other world would seem so silent, so
empty. And it would seal, once and for all, what I knew deep in my mind,
but couldn't face up to: the fact that he was actually gone, and the
possibility that he might not be coming back.

                                  *

  I rolled over onto my side, to face the wall. The thin sheet spread over us
was bunched up under me now, and Embry gave it a firm tug back to his
side of the bed. Then he let his arm lazily drape across me again. It'd
been two weeks, to the night, since the last time that I phased. Two
weeks since that night when I went barreling through the woods, chasing
after him. Two weeks since I slept without my dreams being filled with
that cold, animalistic mind that chilled me long after I'd woken up. I
nestled back against Embry's firm body, just wanting that contact, the
feeling of being enveloped, protected. He sensed that, and tightened his
arm around me. I felt my vision blurring, my eyelids started to slip shut...
  It can't have been long, though, before I was startled awake by the
movement. Embry's hand had shifted from my stomach, and was now
brushing the front of my shorts. My dick was waking up too. It didn't
take much more than the rhythmic strumming of his fingers across my
fabric-covered shaft to get it fully hard in just a short while. Then they
slipped under the elastic of my waistband. A jolt ran through my whole
body, and Embry froze. His warm breath was quickening against the
back of my neck, and I could hear the rapid drumming of his heart
through his chest. We lay there, tense, both of us afraid to move, until he
was satisfied that I was not awake.
  By now, my cock was straining against the front of my shorts, wetting
the cotton with a growing spot of pre-cum. Embry's fingers reached that
spot, and started to rub the slick fluid over the tip. I had to clench my
teeth to make sure I didn't give myself away. His hand slid down the
length of my shaft, palming it, taking in by feel what he couldn't by
sight. As his fingers finally spread through the soft hair at the base, I felt
him shiver behind me.
  "Fuck..." he gasped in astonishment, his lips practically skimming my
ear.
  With some effort, he managed to free my hard-on from the confines of
my shorts, and started stroking it lazily.
  "Holy shit, bro... you're pretty big for a little guy," he whispered.
  Did he mean for me to hear that? Was he talking to me? I couldn't tell. I
didn't respond, still pretending to be asleep.
  "Feels good, doesn't it?" he asked as he ran a finger teasingly along the
underside. I stayed quiet.
  "Come on, bro... I know you're awake." My heart jumped.
  "See? I heard that. C'mon, talk to me... how's it feel?"
  It took a moment to settle my nerves. His words hung in the air,
unanswered. He grew hesitant, and his hand slowed. So I reached down,
wrapping my hand around his, and we both started stroking in time. He
laughed quietly, the bass sound making the whole bed shudder.
  "That's more like it."
  He... we... kept jerking me. He set the pace, his hand keeping a smooth
and steady motion on each stroke up and down my shaft. In the end, I
couldn't take it anymore. I was riding the edge, but it wasn't enough to
bring me over. I started bucking my hips, fucking his hand, getting the
speed I needed to cum. It wasn't long before I was whimpering into my
pillow while spraying my load all over the bed. He tugged on me until I
started going soft again, then wiped his hand on the sheets, and rolled
over onto his other side. I'd barely had time to come to grips with what
had just happened before the bed started rocking back and forth with
Embry's own jacking. I kept still, not sure what to do. He stifled a moan,
and his body tensed. Then he was cumming - our bodies were so close
that I could feel each wave of orgasm hit him.
  That was it. He drifted off to sleep within minutes, and, even though my
head had only just begun to fill with confusion, so did I.

  We didn't talk about it the next morning. He pulled his shorts back on,
and I gathered up the dirty sheets to wash myself before mom got to
them. Nor did he stop by at all that day, which was not like him at all,
and I found myself sitting in the chair by the front window, book in
hand, but only half-reading it, preoccupied with waiting for him to show
up. I had no doubt, though, that he'd be back that night. If he wasn't,
there'd be something truly wrong.
  Sure enough, soon after I'd gone to bed, and the last lights in the house
had been turned off, Embry let himself in through the back door. I heard
him slip the key back in its hiding place over the doorframe, then steal
into my room. He was warmer than usual as he sidled in next to me. He'd
just been running. The heat in his muscles accentuated the scent of the
rich earth and pine needles he'd just trodden through. It was safe to say
that after what had happened last night, I wouldn't be falling asleep
anytime soon. I lay in wait, a predator waiting for the first sign of
movement. I didn't have to wait long.
  His hand found its way easily into my shorts this time, with no
hesitation at all in taking my already-rigid cock into his grasp. He really
did come straight from running - he was naked, and his own stiff rod
was grinding against my back each time I thrust into his hand. He
must've felt the pressure building in my body, my hips rocking faster,
because he stopped abruptly.
  "Whoa, hold up, I don't want you to blow just yet." He released his grip
on my cock, and gingerly pried his hand away from mine.
  "I wanna get a good look at it first."
  He flipped the sheet off us, and rolled me onto my back. My cock
slapped up against my heaving stomach. It was pulsing, bouncing up off
my abs with each heartbeat. I looked sheepishly at Embry. I had nothing
on him. He stood there, tall and statuesque, silhouetted in the light from
the window. The faint glow crept around the curves of his shoulders, his
arms, his sides; before vanishing into the deep shadowy pools between
his long muscles.
  "Hang on," he said, and pulled the curtain open wider. A tiny bit more
moonlight seeped into the room, but to werewolf eyes, he might as well
have switched a lamp on.
  He trailed his fingers lightly along the length of my cock. I'd gone soft a
bit, with him staring at my body so intently, but I'd been almost ready to
shoot, and so I was hard as a bar of steel again by the time his touch
drifted off the tip.
  "How long is it?" he asked.
  "Dunno," I lied, "never measured it."
  "Everyone measures," he said in disbelief.
  Did I mention I was a shitty liar?
  "Okay... it's about nine-and-a-half."
  "Goddamn, kid."
  "It's not that big... guess it just looks bigger 'cos I'm not as tall as you
guys."
  "You bet it does," he grinned, "looks fucking huge on you. It's a good-
looking one too."
  "Thanks...?" I answered awkwardly. But he was no longer paying
attention.
  Instead, he was hovering just above me, a look of indecision lining his
face. Slowly, tentatively, he parted his lips and brought them over the
head of my cock. Not quite touching - just THERE.
  "FUCK!" I gasped, slamming my head back on the pillow. I gripped the
sheets at my side. This was torture.
  "I... I can't do it," he said back in a low voice, "I'm sorry."
  "What? No!" I moaned. "Just finish me off, please, Embry! I need this so
bad right now."
  He didn't look right. Something was still bothering him, and he wasn't
about to say what. Eventually, wearily, he nodded, and took hold of my
aching hard-on again. It felt good - what hand wouldn't? But I could tell
he was distracted. I rubbed his arm, beaming encouragingly at him, and
even then all he could manage was a weak smile. Even when I came, and
spattered the both of us in my hot spunk, his eyes were far-off. He
grabbed a T-shirt off the floor and wiped his arm down, then dropped it
onto my still-huffing chest.
  "Be back in a second," he said flatly.
  As I cleaned myself up, I heard his footsteps cross the hallway to the
bathroom, followed by the rhythmic sound familiar to every teenage boy.
You've gotta be kidding me, I thought. He wouldn't. But the harder I
listened, the more I was convinced that he'd actually left to go to the
bathroom and beat off. It wasn't long before he grunted hoarsely, and I
heard each shot hit the water as he fired them straight into the toilet. At
least he had good aim. Flushing... and then more footsteps heading back.
I rolled over to the face the wall, turning my back to Embry, who was now
climbing into my bed. We were so close. I could feel the hot blood racing
just under his skin, and the luscious scent of pine and moss and rich
earth washed over me once again. But we might as well have been a
world apart.

  I was woken by the shifting of weight around my narrow bed. In the
uncharacteristically bright sunshine that filled the room, Embry was up
on his feet, stretching and scratching the back of his head. Then he
noticed I was awake. Immediately, panic filled his eyes.
  "Uh... I was just... going," he gestured out the door.
  "The hell you are!" I barked, sitting up. Then, realizing that mom and
Leah probably weren't far away, I lowered my voice a notch. "What was
the deal with last night?"
  "Seth, please don't make me..." his eyes darted around the room.
  "Well, unlike the others, I can't see right into your head. So you're
gonna have to tell me, the old fashioned way."
  He huffed, and let his shoulders drop.
  "I couldn't do it to Jake," he said, "I mean; he's only been gone, what,
two weeks?"
  "I don't think Jake would mind that much," I said sourly.
  Embry's lips pulled into a wry, lopsided smile. "You don't mean that. Or
if you do, you don't know Jake." He sat down beside me, and wrapped a
long, lean arm around my waist. "You're HIS, Seth. I've been in his head,
man, and I know... I'm probably already going to be in trouble for what I
did."
  I felt myself choking up, and took to staring at the flecks of dust
dancing in the shaft of sunlight that poured in through the window.
  "And anyway..." he started, "I'm..." He stopped there, unable to get the
words out. Embry had always been strong and reticent, too cool for
words. I watched the conflicted emotions play across his face.
  "It's okay," I said, "you can tell me."
  "Everyone else knows already. You're the last one, 'cos you can't hear
our thoughts without Jake... and besides, you haven't phased in weeks."
  "What happened?"
  "Fuck... I've never actually had to SAY this before... it's weird... it's
hard," he laughed darkly, "man, this is so much easier when you can just
THINK it."
  "Well, you don't have to tell if you don't wanna," I shrugged.
  "Nah, nah... I want you to know." He drew a deep breath. "I think I'm in
love with Quil."

  I didn't think that people actually did double-takes in real life, but I'm
pretty sure I did one when he told me that.
  "Are you serious? You imprinted on Quil?!" I caught the hysteria in my
own voice, and quickly clapped my hands over my mouth.
  "No!" he cringed, "Jesus, no! Not imprinted! I just... man, I just WANT
him."
  "Shit... kinda like me and Jake?"
  "Kind of... I don't know. I don't know what to think! I mean, he's
imprinted on Claire! He's only ever going to want to be with her... and yet
I'm... Argh! It's so fucking pathetic."
  "Does he know?"
  Embry gave me a "no, duh" look. Oh yeah, dumb question.
  "What does he think, then?"
  "He hasn't SAID anything... what he's THINKING, though..." he shook
his head. "Of course, Claire's still like a little sister to him right now, so
he was thinking maybe he could be with me for a few years, until she
grows up and the imprinting takes over." He sighed. "How fucked up is
that?"
  I shrugged. "'S'not that bad. I mean, Jake and me, either of us could
imprint on someone else at any minute, right? You've just gotta live for
the moment."
  "Yeah, but I'd be the OTHER guy the whole time. It'll be like, 'my soul-
mate is still in diapers, so you'll do for now'. I'll never be sure if he
actually loves me back."
  "You don't think he can love two people at the same time?"
  "He's imprinted, Seth. The force behind something like that, you don't
screw with."
  "But you can't just live with that for a few years? Who knows, you guys
might break up by then anyway... do you think this is a forever-type-
thing?"
  "I don't know, buddy. I really don't know."
  As he stared for longer out the window, his brow started furrowing. He'd
seen something out there that I was too short to see. I started to ask what
it was, but he cut me off.
  "Does it ever weird you out?"
  "Does what?" I asked.
  "Being in... love with another guy?" the words came out stilted, like he
still couldn't quite bring himself to say them.
  "I dunno," I replied, looking down at my feet, "I don't really think about
it. Never been in love with anyone else."
  "No shit?"
  "Yeah, Jake's the only guy... or person even... I've ever wanted. I've loved
him for as long as I can remember."
  "Damn... even when you guys were kids?"
  I nodded. "I didn't know what it was at the time, but yeah, I guess I had
a thing for him then."
  Embry seemed to perk up a bit. Well, as much as stony, levelheaded
Embry could. "I remember this one time, Quil and me were with Jake at
his place, in his garage," he said animatedly, "and you came by with
these boxes of cookies your mom made for the school fundraiser? You
must've been like, what, eleven, twelve? Anyway, you asked us if we
wanted to buy them, and neither of us did... but Jake REALLY wanted a
box. But he didn't have any money with him, so you just gave him a box
for free. You even seemed pretty pleased with yourself." He grinned. "So...
was that...?"
  "Yeah, I remember that," I blushed, "I thought I was pretty cool to be
able to give him something he wanted, just like that. He was like this
hero to me back then."
  "And he isn't now?" Embry teased.
  "Not so much," I joked, "I mean, now that I've seen him with his pants
off, I'm not so impressed. But it's okay. I still love him."
  We shared a relaxed laugh. It felt good, just to let go, after all the loaded
conversations of the past couple of weeks. But even as the laughs
subsided, I saw again that he remained distracted by whatever he'd seen
outside.
  "Listen, Seth, I probably should get going."
  "What's the rush?" I asked, glancing out the window, but I still couldn't
see whatever it was that he'd seen.
  "It's nothing, there's a few things I've got to do is all."
  "Okay... You'll stop by during the day?"
  "Yeah, when I can," he replied, his eyes continuing to wander off
elsewhere. "Um... don't mean to be nosy or anything, but did you ever
find out why Jake ran off?"
  The instant sting, then a deeper pain, started to flood my chest.
  "Uh... no... I've kinda been putting it off." Because I don't think I could
handle it, I added silently.
  "I understand, you don't really want to think about it," Embry said, "but
maybe it'd be good today, just to go by Billy's and have a chat to him?"
  I looked numbly at Embry's optimistic face.
  "You know, face your demons and all that?" he offered, semi-
encouragingly. "Shit, I'm no good at this! Just... please, go? I wanna
know too... so...? For my sake?" he pressed.
  "Okay, okay, I'll go."
  "Thanks," he sighed. "I'll see you tonight, if not earlier. Be good. Say hi
to Billy for me," he said as he shut my door behind him.
  Well fuck, I sighed, I guess it's time to start leaving the house again.

                                       *

  I shifted my weight impatiently from foot to foot as I waited, just staring
at the flaking paint of the door in front of me. What was taking him so
long? Well, at least he was on his way. I heard things being shifted
around inside, the clunky wheels of Billy's old chair rolling closer to the
door. Finally, he opened it.
  "Seth?" he asked, blinking at the glaring light. It was an unusually fine
day for La Push, and there was actually sunshine.
  "Yeah..." I half-laughed uneasily, "hey, how're you doing, Billy?"
  "Been better. Why don't you come in?" he mumbled. "Close the door
behind you, will you?"
  I followed him into the dim, musty house. The curtains were drawn
across all of the windows, and stacks of papers were building up on the
table.
  "Sorry, uh... about the mess," he apologized as he wheeled himself
around the room, picking up what loose items he could and piling them
in his lap. "It's been hard without Jake around. I don't get much done...
and I can't expect your mom to help with everything..."
  I bent down and started grabbing pieces of paper, food wrappers,
leaves... things that had fallen to the floor or blown in through the open
windows that Billy wasn't able to reach from his wheelchair. Amongst
them, a crumpled piece of fancy-looking paper covered in immaculate
handwriting caught my eye, and I picked it up off the floor.
  "...Lucky for me, it's not all bad. Rachel graduated early - would you
believe it? She's back from Washington State soon. Didn't like me being
left here all by myself and everything, so she..." his chatter stopped
abruptly when he noticed the piece of paper I was carefully reading. He
chewed his words.
  "The rest is over there," he said numbly, gesturing towards the
mountainous heaps on the table.
  I carefully put the handwritten note aside, and sifted through the sheets
and sheets of newspapers, grocery lists, bills - a half-completed missing
persons report - amongst other things. Finally, I found it. It was in
shreds, only recognizable because they were all pieces of the same thick
ivory paper I'd picked up off Jake's dresser the night he went away. The
pieces of the envelope Billy had forbidden me from looking at.
  It only took a moment to rearrange them and, like a jigsaw puzzle, the
words - and the picture in my mind - became increasingly clear. My
hands were shaking as I slid the last fragment of paper into its place. I
looked at Billy.
  "I should've let you read it when you first found it," he sighed.
  "I... I don't get it?" I said. "Why didn't you?"
  "If I'd known he'd react the way he did, I would've. You could've
explained it to him, made him calm down about the whole thing..." Billy
shook his head, letting his tired gaze fall into his lap.
  I was still struck by this revelation. He had run away - because of Bella.
The blood began to race in my veins. Red filled the edges of my vision. I'd
tried to be good, to accept how much he loved her as a friend. It wasn't
easy, and there'd been many times when I'd had to stop and remind
myself that he loved me more. At least, that's what I thought. It was like
there'd been an earthquake, and I was just standing there, watching the
tower that had been my faith in Jake start to crumble away...
  "Have you heard from him? Do you know if he's doing okay?" Billy's
voice shook me back to reality. I carefully unclenched my fists and
loosened my jaw.
  "I don't know. I haven't phased since... that night."
  "Well, I uh..." Billy coughed, "I assumed you'd be keeping an eye on
him... since no one else can."
  My heart began to race frantically. I took a step closer to Billy, and the
sharp movement must've scared him, because he was suddenly shirking
away from me.
  "What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to keep the building
agitation out of my voice.
  "Sam... came by the other day," he stammered, "and told me that he
can't hear Jake anymore. Not like he used to be able to, anyway. Jake's...
renounced his leadership or something like that. So no one's heard a
thing from him, no one knows where he is or how he's doing. Sam says
only you'll be able to hear him. Said there's some kind of... bond...
between you two. He's depending on you to be the middleman."
  Sam. Embry... Quil, Jared, Paul, fucking... Leah! None of them had told
me that no one was looking out for Jake! He could be anywhere - he
could even be dead - and no one would know! My mind reeled, I
struggled to get a hold of myself.
  "I take it you haven't heard from him?" Billy tried.
  "No, Billy," I said, trying to keep my breathing even, "I haven't."
  "Oh," he said, clicking his tongue. He maneuvered his chair around and
started heading for Jake's room. "Well, since you're here, I might as well
give you this..."
  But I was already shrugging out of my T-shirt as I barreled towards the
door. I punched it out of my way.

  <Jake?> I called out into the emptiness.
  The response was clear as a bell, though I could tell it was coming from
far off. A flood of emotions and memories filled that other mind, triggered
by the sound of my voice. And still, there were no words.
  But he was there. He was safe.
  My frenzied sprint slowed to a paced run, now that I could feel him with
me. I knew it was pointless to go after him, so I went for the next best
thing. I turned towards the sea cliffs, heading for the place that I knew
was his and his alone. All the while, I replayed through the last two
weeks, like a movie in mind. I knew he could see it - how could he ignore
me? And I felt his reactions; the pangs of guilt at the times I'd been
reduced to despair out of loneliness, the relieved gladness that Embry
had been taking care of me, and a great sense of homesickness. When I
got to that place - his place - high on the cliffs, overlooking the bay, the
memories just got stronger. I pawed a lazy circle around the spot on the
flat, rocky outcrop where he used to sit, human or wolf, just
contemplating the world. I thought I caught a whiff of his scent - but that
was impossible. The rain and sea wind would've erased any trace of him
by now.
  I thought of the time when he'd been unconscious, and how I knew I
would love him even if he was injured for life. Even if he spent the rest of
his days unable to hear, or see, or talk to me, I would never stop telling
him how much I loved him. And so why should I stop now?
  The waves below sparkled in the sharp mid-summer sunlight, the rocks
beneath my paws radiated warmth, and the wind was refreshingly cool.
And it was there that an hour passed, and another, then another again,
as I sat just replaying my memories to Jake. No words; just images of the
things he'd missed while he was away. Occasionally, he'd show me
something that he'd seen in his wandering, or play one of my memories
back, wanting further explanation; but for the most part he listened. I got
some sense of where he was. He had been running before, but now he'd
slowed down. The forest he was in now was steep and rocky, and he'd
been carefully picking his way between the boulders and trees while
listening.
  He hadn't phased back in two weeks. The Jake I knew was almost
completely gone, replaced by the primal instincts of the wolf. But one of
those instincts was a need to protect its mate, and I could feel how
immensely gratifying it was to both Jake and the wolf to know that I was
alright.
  The more memories I showed him, the more I realized that most of them
- in fact, almost all of them - took place inside my house. I had very little
to show him of Billy, or the boys in the pack. I felt his concern growing,
and a similar guilt rose up inside me. I really had to get out more. When I
promised him that I would, he started to relax again.
  By now, the water was starting to lap lazily at the sinking disc of the
sun. I knew mom would start to worry - I hadn't told anyone where I'd
gone. So, as I stood up and started the walk back home, I showed Jake
images that I was making up, daydreams of what I would be doing
tonight. There was a surge of longing in his heart, wanting to be there
with me and Embry and mom and Billy when we sat down to eat
together.
  <We miss you too, Jake.>
  And then I felt his presence slip from my mind as I phased back.

  Embry flicked the kitchen light off, then walked over to the couch where
I was sprawled, staring vacantly at the TV. He handed me a mug of hot
cocoa, setting his own mug down on the side table before wedging his
way onto the couch next to me. Mom had gone to bed early; she was
driving to Port Angeles first thing tomorrow. Leah was out running.
  "I'm sorry I didn't tell you... you know... about you being the only one
able to talk to Jake and stuff," Embry said softly.
  "Didn't you think I could handle it?" I asked, half jokingly. I was mad, to
a degree. But I also knew that I could never stay mad at my brothers for
any length of time... that anything they did was always with my best
interests in mind. There were just occasional misunderstandings.
  "How long did you think you could hide it from me?" I continued.
  "Sam wanted you to come around in your own time. He didn't want to
force you into being mediator between us and Jake, if you weren't ready
for it."
  "I wish he'd stop treating me like a kid."
  "He feels very protective of you. Kind of the same way I do." As he took a
sip from his mug, his dark eyes glinted in the light of the lamp next to
him, and behind them, I could almost see the cogs turning in his brain.
He jumped up.
  "I think these drinks need more of a kick," Embry said as he wandered
across to the cupboards lining the wall behind the dining table. One by
one, he opened each of them, searching through their contents, until he
found what he was after. He came back with a tall, brown bottle with
some fancy-looking label stuck to it.
  "Isn't that alcohol?" I asked.
  Embry smiled back at me, white teeth glowing in the dim light.
  "Yeah, I think it is, Seth."
  He unscrewed the top and then casually splashed some into each of our
mugs. I was probably looking at him like he'd started chewing glass.
  "There, try that," he grinned.
  I took the mug carefully with both hands, slowly bringing it to my lips.
The rich scent rushed up my nose, coupled with a burning that lingered
long after the aroma was gone. I ventured a sip.
  Embry was watching me intensely.
  "What?" I asked.
  "Just watching for your reaction," he teased. "How's it taste?"
  "It's good. And no, I haven't had alcohol before."
  He chuckled and sidled back next to me.
  "You're lucky my mom won't notice," I said.
  "Well, that's good. Why not?"
  "She doesn't drink anymore. Most of this stuff was my dad's."
  Embry nodded, and then swilled the liquid around in the gracefully
curved bottle contemplatively.
  We drained our mugs while watching nothing in particular play out on
the TV screen. I was too deep in thought to pay attention, and I could tell
Embry was too. I guess we had that in common, Embry and me: two
fatherless boys, left with the burden that our dads never had to bear...
angry at them, but kind of also wishing that they were here to tell us
what to do, or even just pat us on the back and say "well done, son".
  When we finished off the last of the cocoa, he held his mug out to me,
asking for a refill. I took it to the kitchen and returned with two fresh,
steaming mugs. This time, I didn't hesitate to grab the bottle and add a
big splash of the liquor myself. Embry flashed me a wicked smile as we
clinked our mugs together and then drew a long swig from them.
  By the time we got to the bottom of our second cups, my eyelids were
starting to grow heavy. I felt warm; a deep, glowing warmth from inside,
thanks to the combination of the hot drink and the alcohol, but also a
comforting warmth from Embry's arm, which I now had wrapped around
me.
  I started to slump onto his chest, and I was barely aware of him gently
prying the mug out of my grasp. The steady th-thump of his heart, the
whooshing of his breath... were the last things I heard as the world went
dark.

  I rolled over, sticking to my clothes and to the sheets as I did. It was hot,
and I was sweating more than just a bit. Embry was wedged in next to
me on my bed, fully dressed as well, giving off waves of heat like a
radiator. I remembered it now, falling asleep after being overcome by a
mixture of tiredness and Embry's drinks. He must have carried me in
here before passing out himself. I stretched out the arm I'd been sleeping
on... God, I was sore.
  Well, I can't go back to sleep like this, I thought.
  I peeled my T-shirt off, and then tried to pull my shorts off without
waking Embry, which was hard as they were really clinging to my skin.
Flinging them into a damp heap in the corner, I lay down again. I blinked
at the ceiling.
  Guess I should help Embry out as well.
  I sat up and looked the big guy over, trying to decide how best to go
about this. I pushed him onto his back first, and then tried to roll his T-
shirt up his body. Not as easy as I thought. I lifted him off the bed, and
got the T-shirt about as far as his underarms. He must've really been
knocked out good. With his shirt up as high as it would go, I made a start
on his shorts, unbuttoning the fly then pulling the zip down, revealing
his bulging manhood.
  I licked my lips, not realizing until now that I was breathing heavy, and
my head was still spinning a bit. Funnily enough, Embry never looked as
good as he did now, bare between the shoulders and thighs, his cock
lying lazily against his stomach. I leaned over him, inhaling his dark,
luscious scent, mixed with the rich, lingering smell of the liquor. My
hands roamed over his awesome, solid pecs... down across his smooth
abs to that hardening piece of meat. Looking back up at him, he was still
out cold, so I decided that I could probably get away with it...
  The shorts would have to come off first, though. I started yanking them
off, shifting first one leg then the other so that I could get them down to
his ankles. I gave them one last tug... and was suddenly tumbling
backwards off the bed with a loud THUMP. His shorts were in my hand,
but he was also awake.
  "Seth?" he groaned, "what's going on?"
  He tried to sit up, but I had my hand on his chest in a second, pushing
him back down. His black pupils glinted in the light from the window,
and a sleepy but realizing smile crept across his face.
  There was no time to waste. I was calling the shots this time, but who
knew when his conscience would get the better of him again? No, I had to
go straight for it. There was no warning when I pulled his cock upright,
and lowered my mouth onto it.
  "Ahhh!!!... Sweet mother of... Oh God, Seth!" he cried.
  I started bathing his smooth knob with my tongue.
  "Oh... ohhhh... keep going, man, that feels sooo good..."
  I took his cock out of my mouth, but kept my lips close enough that
they brushed against it while I spoke.
  "Yeah...? Careful what you say, 'cos I'm not gonna stop this time."
  "Don't stop!" he huffed, and started pushing me back down.
  I worked all over his cock, keeping my tongue moving, playing with all
the parts that I knew from experience felt the best. I must've been doing a
good job; because Embry was soon gnawing on his fist to keep from
crying out so loud he'd wake the whole street up.
  He pummeled the back of my throat as his groans and whimpers grew
louder and louder. All the pent-up desire of all our nights spent together
was pouring out in this one act of pure, uninhibited sex. Jerking me off
had just been to test the waters. This was what Embry REALLY wanted,
and I could feel it in the way he tugged at my hair, the power of his one
final thrust before he started arching off the bed, cumming, and
cumming hard. I swallowed, and beamed at the boy under me,
breathless, glistening with sweat, the taut muscles in his chest and
stomach still clenching and unclenching as the climax faded.
  "My turn?" I smiled hopefully at him.
  He was silent, still catching his breath.
  I pulled him up, his weight not a problem under my easy strength, and
drew our faces together. His hot, panting breath scorched my lips. I
placed his hand on my raging hard-on...
  "Wait," he said.
  Crap. Not this again. Not now.
  "Embry, please..." I whined.
  "I'm sorry, little bro... I can't do it."
  I threw him back against the mattress, hard enough that he bounced.
  "I said I'm sorry!" he cried.
  "Fuck you."

  I stormed off to the bathroom. Twisted the knobs in the shower. Stepped
in under the steaming spray. All I wanted to do was to wash the grime
and sweat and filth of tonight off myself. No, not just tonight. Every night
since Jake left. Because no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried,
I couldn't even begin to feel close to how he made me feel. I squinted my
eyes shut and wished that this was all a nightmare. That somehow, when
I opened my eyes again, I'd return to the real world, and Jake would be
lying next to me like he was every morning. And I could tell him about
my bad dream; which would make him laugh at my foolishness, kiss me,
and promise me that I'd never have a dream like that again.
  I pressed my head against the cold tile wall. The air was shuddering
with a plaintive sobbing. It took me a moment to realize it was coming
from me.
  "Seth?"
  "I said fuck off. Leave me alone."
  "Come on, dude. I said I was sorry."
  I could hear him getting closer. A moment later, I felt him right behind
me in the shower. He picked up the soap, and started washing my back.
His big, sure hands massaging the ache from my muscles, the pain from
my whole being.
  "I can't even imagine how you must feel," he said. "I'm trying to be here
for you, bro... I'm doing all I can, 'cos it's what Jake would've wanted me
to do... But there's only so much I can do."
  His hands kneaded the knots in my shoulders.
  "The rest, you're gonna have to do yourself. You have to try to move on,
to keep going without him. Jake wouldn't want you sitting around doing
nothing while he's not here. He'd want you to get on with your life,"
Embry continued as he pulled his fingers through my matted hair.
  "What if I don't want to?" I croaked, "what if he's all I ever wanted, and I
don't want anything else... and... and nothing is worth doing if he's not
here?"
  Embry gently turned me around. He looked, for a moment, at the tears
mixing with the water running down my face. He pulled the wet hair
away from my eyes.
  "Then hooking up with me isn't going to fix it," he brushed his thumb
across my lips. "Don't get me wrong, you're a great guy, Seth. And I love
you like a little brother. But I'm not the answer to your problems. This
whole 'sharing a bed' thing? It needs to stop. I'm not Jake, and I'm no
replacement for him. I'm your friend, Seth, not your boyfriend." He saw
the lump building in my throat, and sighed. "I know it's tough, but
you're going to have to learn to go it alone."
  Classic, no-shit Embry. Totally unafraid to pull the splinter out from the
wound, no matter how much it hurt.
  He held my face in his big hands. I felt the tension in his fingertips. He
searched my eyes, then leaned in and kissed me softly; a show of
affection, not of lust. He left me feeling exactly as he had said: alone.

  I went back to my room, still shaking a towel through my wet hair.
Embry was putting a fresh set of sheets on my bed. He looked up at me,
and I looked away.
  "Hey man... sorry if I came off a bit harsh," he murmured.
  "It's okay. I needed to hear it."
  "No hard feelings?"
  "Nah."
  He came over and put his arms around me, nuzzling his nose into the
top of my still-damp hair.
  "I'm gonna look after you, Seth. It's my duty to Jake. And you've gotta
trust me that I'm always gonna do what's best for you, even if it doesn't
feel like it at the time."
  "Yeah, I know," I said. And then struggled out, "...thanks."
  I wrapped my arms around him too, feeling the subtle shifting of his
muscles with every breath he took.
  "You smell amazing, you know that?" Embry chuckled.
  "So I've been told."
  He inhaled deeply.
  "Damn, kid... I almost wanna eat you up!"
  He dragged us both down onto the bed, and for a moment the world was
Embry's fiery skin and the cool, clean sheets. I was getting hard again,
and he could feel it grinding between his thighs.
  "Please, Embry?" I begged.
  I saw the conflict in his eyes. I was almost sure he was going to say no,
no way, what did I tell you? We're done with this shit. Then he broke out
in a resigned sigh.
  "Okay. One last time."
  He rolled us over and started dragging his teasing fingers over my chest.
  "Only 'cos you're so fucking irresistible."

                                         *

  "Seth?"
  Mmm... what?
  "Seth... wake up, man!"
  Fuck off. I rolled over onto my other side; pulled my pillow over my
head.
  But Embry didn't stop trying to shake me awake.
  "Seth! Wake up!"
  Maybe this was actually something important. Maybe someone set Leah
on fire. I blinked groggily at him.
  "Come on, little bro!" he grinned at me, "Get your ass moving. We're
going surfing!"

  I'd never been surfing before. But I'd watched every summer as kids
from the reservation or even from Forks and Port Angeles took to the
waves off First Beach. It looked fairly dangerous... the water was always
freezing cold, and there were rocks under the current. Embry assured me,
though, that those were only a threat to the ordinary human. We
werewolves were above and beyond all that.
  There were quite a few people out today, thanks to the great weather.
The warm day - well, by Washington standards anyway - and the crisp
sunshine had enticed people out of their homes and down to the water.
Mind you, most of the beach wasn't the pretty, sandy sort you found on
postcards. It was rocky, covered in big, round, dark pebbles washed
smooth by the continuous pounding of the waves. Still, the hordes of
tourists who descended on La Push each July never seemed to mind.
They crowded around the water in their bathing suits like we were
somewhere in Florida. And that was another great thing about summer.
Nobody looked at us strange for walking around just in board shorts.

  Embry wanted to drop by the souvenir shop along the beach on our
way. The place was packed with chattering tourists, but the woman at
the counter still looked up in surprise when the cowbell over the door
clanged, announcing our arrival.
  "And to what do I owe this visit from two strapping young men?" she
sang out over the din of the shop.
  "Hey mom," Embry said, self consciously. More than a few pairs of eyes
had turned to see what all the excitement was about. "I just wondered if...
I could please borrow some money?"
  "Well, well," she chirped, "you never come home, I never know where
you are at all ungodly hours of the night... and I don't get so much as a
phone call from you for days on end, but as soon as you want money..."
  Embry's gaze dropped sheepishly to the floor, so I gave her an apologetic
look.
  "And where are your manners, Embry Call? What, were you raised by a
pack of wolves? Aren't you going to introduce me?"
  "Oh. Oh yeah. Mom, this is Seth; Sue and Harry Clearwater's son."
  "Nice to meet you, ma'am," I smiled.
  "Ha!" she laughed, "it calls me 'ma'am'! None of that, sweetie, I'm too
young for that."
  Embry rolled his eyes at me.
  "Seth Clearwater, was it? Embry's mentioned you. Nice to finally meet
you too," she said as she swanned back around the counter, and opened
the register with a 'ding'. "And what are you boys up to today?" she asked
Embry.
  "I was gonna take Seth surfing, actually."
  "Lovely! Well you two have a good time," she beamed, waving a bundle of
notes at Embry. He reached out for it, but she snatched it back. "Ah!
What time can I expect you home? Remember, you're grounded after
dark."
  "Dinnertime, tonight..."
  "Is that a promise?"
  "I promise, mom... geez," he mumbled.
  "Okay, then," she said, and pressed the money into his hand. "There's a
little extra in there for lunch as well... growing boys have to eat!"
  Embry was about to reply when she cut him off.
  "Oh, I almost forgot. Here," she passed each of us a flyer from the pile
beside the register. "Chief Swan came round with these this morning,
wanted us to hand them out to anyone and everyone..."
  I glanced at it, and her voice immediately faded into the background.
  "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY?" read the tall, bold type across the top of
the sheet. Underneath that was a jumble of contact details of various
police stations across the state of Washington.
  The picture below was what made my heart hit the floor. It was him,
sure - to the casual observer. But the school photograph, black and white
and badly photocopied, missed the warmth of his eyes, the smooth curve
of his jaw, which would shift depending on if he was worried or happy...
the softness of his lips.
  It missed everything that made him my Jacob.
  I brushed my fingertips across the page, and Embry gripped my
shoulder reassuringly.
  "...and he hasn't even tried to call you or Quil or anyone else, has he?"
Embry's mom carried on, "Been gone for weeks, no one's heard from him.
If you ask me, he could be halfway across Canada by now."
  You don't even know how right you are, I thought.
  "It's alright, mom, don't worry about him. Jake can take care of
himself." Embry slapped his flyer back onto the counter, before yanking
mine out of my hands as well. "Thanks for the cash. I'll see you tonight."
  She waved us off.
  "Come on, let's go," he grumbled in a low voice only meant for me. I
waved dazedly back at his mom, but she was already frantically serving
customers again.

  "I can't believe it!" Embry yelled as he crossed the road. I jogged after
him, trying my best to keep up with his long strides. "Can't they fucking
just leave him alone? It's so insensitive!"
  "Chief Swan is just doing his job," I said, "Jake disappeared suddenly,
what do you expect him to do?"
  Embry turned on his heel, and I nearly crashed straight into him. He
shook his head at me. "Billy already told the police that he didn't want
them to do anything. No search party, no missing persons' report.
Nothing. Can't they respect his wishes? I bet you this is that leech-lover's
doing."
  "Bella's?"
  Embry screwed up his face at the name, holding back a string of
profanities. "Yeah. Her."
  "Does she know where he is?"
  "I dunno. Maybe. Don't know who would tell her, though. Probably
Billy. I don't see why she deserves to know, this is all her fault anyway."
He took a deep breath to clear his head, then exhaled loudly, "I'm going
to make sure Billy knows about this. But come on; let's not let this ruin
our day."
  I wasn't sure how this was going to ruin anything. For me, it was a new
opening; a sudden discovery that I wasn't the only one who was looking
for him, who would do anything to get him back. And, as we approached
the water's edge, an idea started to take seed. It was time to pay a visit to
Forks.

  In summer, there was usually a van parked on the beach renting surf
gear. Today, we lucked out. There were two. I looked apprehensively at
the racks of surfboards protruding from the back of the two vans,
comparing them as best I could. But Embry made the decision easy: he
headed for the one that was nearer.
  He'd obviously done this before, since he had no trouble picking out a
board. I just stood and stared, even more confused than when we first got
here.
  "You've gotta pick a board that suits your height," he explained, "since
you're quite a bit shorter than me..."
  "Actually, I'm an inch bigger, last I checked," I grinned.
  He laughed, and pulled out a board.
  "And you're still growing; give it a couple of years... Although, I kinda
like you the way you are."
  I couldn't keep myself from beaming at him.
  At that point, the dark, burly Quileute man who owned the van came
around to where Embry and I stood with our respective boards.
  "Wetsuits, boys?" he asked.
  "No, we're fine," Embry replied, "just the boards."
  "You sure? I know it seems warm today, but trust me, that Arctic
current is cold all-year-round."
   Embry shook his head.
  "...You could get hypothermia. I'm tellin' you..."
  "Just the boards, thanks," Embry retorted.
  "Look, if you're short on cash, I could do you a deal for..."
  Embry was starting to lose his patience. I caught the characteristic
tremor as it travelled from his clenched fist, up through his arm.
  "Hey, it's no problem," I intervened, "we'll give it a try without the
wetsuits... if we get too cold, we'll come back for them, okay?"
  "You won't last ten minutes in that water without suits on, guys."
  "Then I guess we'll see you again in ten minutes," I said with a smile.
  Embry forked out the money for the boards, and with them wedged
under our arms, we made a line for the water's edge.
  "Could you believe that guy?" he said, his lips pressed into a thin line.
  "I just want to see the look on his face when we come back in a couple of
hours, probably sweating."
  Even Embry's tough-guy composure had to break at the thought of that.

  I'd like to say I took to surfing like a fish to water, but it couldn't have
been further from the truth. Embry spent a solid three quarters of an
hour teaching me the basic strokes on the beach before he even let me get
my toes wet. And I was glad he did. The techniques, which had seemed so
straightforward on land, took on a whole different dimension when it
came to doing them on a surface that heaved and undulated right under
you.
  I watched with awe as Embry, tall and slightly awkward on land,
became a creature of fluid grace as he whizzed past me time and time
again on the water. He rode the waves like a bird rides the wind: like it
was a natural extension of him, a medium which he could command. I,
on the other hand, became a master in falling over. If it wasn't for the
tether which tied the board to my ankle, I would've lost three or four
boards by now. I wasn't a terribly good swimmer either, and spent most
of my time in the water battling against the waves, rather than getting
back on the board.
  Embry and I had paddled out for one more attempt. We went further out
this time, to give me more time to get a foothold on the board before the
wave broke and threw me over. On the way out, he was giving me
pointers on how to stand up, balancing one foot at a time, and rising
with my knees. I nodded at him with a head that was full of saltwater
and disorientated from having been thrown over by one too many waves.
This is the last one, I told myself, and then I'm getting out.
   A swell came, and Embry yelled at me to start paddling hard. My arms
were shorter than his, and I couldn't keep up with him. He raced off
ahead of me. Within seconds, he was standing majestically atop his
board. The waves delivered him, radiant and god-like, across the
sparkling water, his wet body leaving a shimmering spray of droplets
behind him.
  I felt the rush of the wave beneath the board, and pulled my arms up
under my chest. Onto my knees first, then planting one foot then the
other. Still bent at the knees, I caught my balance. Then slowly,
gradually, I stood up. It was like the first time I rode a bicycle. What had
seemed impossible before seemed so natural now, and I couldn't believe
it! I was actually doing it! I laughed out loud, even though no one could
hear me. Embry glanced back and shot me a grin and an encouraging
thumbs-up.
  That's when I lost it. I wasn't looking straight ahead, and that's how I
missed it coming at me: a cross-current from a wave receding from the
beach. It slammed into the left side of my board, and flung me to the
right. The next thing I knew, I was taking a huge gulp of saltwater. My
head went under. The current caught my board, and tried to yank it
away from me. But it was tied to my ankle, and I was being dragged
along. I struggled for the light, for the surface. Something huge and white
came at me...
  WHAM! The board slammed into my chest. A thousand bubbles - my
last breath of air - streamed up in front of my face. The board, bound to
my ankle and caught in the clash of waves, had come straight back at me
without warning. The need for air now was overwhelming. My lungs were
burning, but my nostrils stung with seawater, reminding me not to
breathe in. I fought my way towards the surface again, but the light
disappeared, fading from my sight.
  No, not fading - blocked, by some shadow. A long arm scooped into the
water and dragged me out. Coughing and spluttering, I sucked in deep
breaths of glorious air. Embry was paddling hard with one arm. He had
me, and my board attached to me, grasped firmly in the other. We were in
shallow water before I knew it, and he untied the board from my leg and
carried me up to the shore. The pebbles were hard and bumpy against
my back as he laid me down on them, but even still, I'd never been
happier to be on dry land.
  "I'm so sorry," he gasped.
  I coughed out another mouthful of water. "It's okay... I'm alright."
  "You sure? You were under for a while."
  "Werewolf, remember?" I said weakly, and thumped my chest with my
fist.
  Embry laughed, and patted my shoulder.
  "Embry? Seth?"
  Embry looked up at the voice.
  "Paul! Down here!"
  The crunching of pebbles grew closer as Paul jogged over. His scent hit
me hard - the only thing for a hundred yards that didn't reek of seaweed
and salt. He'd been running, which only accentuated the smell.
  "You guys alright?" he panted.
  "Yeah, we're fine. Seth took a tumble in the surf."
  "Shit, lil' bro, you okay?"
  "I'm FINE!" I groaned. And I'm not little, I added silently.
  Paul nodded quickly. "Sam wants you running right now," he hissed to
Embry, "he'll fill you in when you're phased."
  "Right now? Can't it wait?"
  Something passed between them that I couldn't see, lying on my back
as I was.
  "Alright, I'll go," Embry said reluctantly. "Look after Seth for me? Get
him home and all that."
  "Yeah, sure," Paul nodded, "you'd better get moving."
  Embry gave me a reassuring smile. "See you tonight, Seth," he called
out as he crossed the road, and then disappeared into the trees to phase.

  Paul helped me carry the two boards back up to the rental van. The
owner wordlessly took them from him, all the while looking me up and
down like I'd been tarred and feathered. I had to hold my laughter in
until Paul and I were a good distance away.
  "What was that about?" Paul asked.
  "We didn't want to rent wetsuits," I grinned, "said we didn't need them."
  "Shit, kiddo!" Paul laughed. "What happened to keeping a low profile?"
  I shrugged. "Gotta have a bit of fun every now and again."
  We were back on the main stretch of First Beach now, heading for the
shower block so that I could rinse off.
  "I'll just be a minute," I said as I darted inside.
  "Yeah, I'll wait out here," Paul nodded. He sat on one of the sawn-in-half
logs that separated the car park from the beach, watching the passers-by.
In typical Paul fashion, though, he ended up looking like he was glaring
at them, and most people took to walking on the gravelly beach rather
than have to pass in front of him.

  The shower block was a small rendered brick cube that had borne the
brunt of years of wind rolling in from across the Pacific. Inside, a long
wooden bench with hooks above it lined one wall, and about ten cubicles
with toilets and showers filled the opposite side. The showers didn't have
doors, which didn't matter anyway, because most people just came in
here to change quickly or rinse off. The shower at the end of the row was
running, and I chose another booth somewhere in the middle.
  "You go first."
  "No! You first! It was your idea."
  "Both at the same time, then?"
  "Yeah, alright..."
  Two whispered voices echoed off the tiled walls, and my werewolf
hearing caught the hushed exchange.
  Wait. Two voices...?
  I tiptoed out of my booth, down the row of cubicles. I was right - there
was only one shower running, and both the voices were coming from the
same stall. The sound of splashing water garbled the words. Or maybe
they just weren't saying much. I ducked into the second-last cubicle,
hanging out for more.
  "Dude... that looks so cool."
  "Okay? You've seen it now, so can I..."
  "Wait! Just a second..."
  There was something familiar about the voices that I couldn't put my
finger on. I risked a look around the corner.
  What I saw then made me gasp, and the two boys looked up at the
sound. Within a half-second, I recognized their faces.
  It was Collin and Brady; two boys from my grade at school. Their board
shorts were pulled open at the fly, young hard-ons poking out.
  "Crap!" Collin yelped, trying to stuff his junk back into his shorts.
Brady was speechless, just covering himself and looking at me with wide,
shocked eyes.
  "Shit guys! I'm... fuck, I'm sorry!" I spun on my heel to go, but lost my
footing on the wet tiles. For a moment, the world spun; then there was a
sharp THWACK! The pain didn't even register until the warm blood was
trickling down the side of my skull.
  Ow.
  "Clearwater?" Brady's baffled voice wafted over me. "Seth Clearwater?" I
nodded weakly. "Are you alright?" I got asked for the second time today.
  "Yeah, fine," I croaked, and clambered back onto my feet. I could feel my
head already starting to heal. Their shorts were done up now, and they
were looking at me with slightly sheepish expressions.
  "You won't tell anyone, will you?" Brady asked.
  "Sorry, I must've bumped my head pretty hard... tell anyone what?" I
said with a wry smile.
  Brady exhaled with relief, but there was still something burning in
Collin's eyes.
  "I don't trust him," he spat.
  "What? He just said he'd..." Brady began.
  "He'll tell his gang. Those older guys he hangs out with? He'll tell them.
He thinks he's better than us."
  I started to protest...
  "Or he'll tell his boyfriend. Where's he now, huh, Clearwater? Did you
scare him off?" Collin continued to taunt me.
  "Boyfriend?" Brady looked at him, puzzled.
  "Yeah, didn't you know?" Collin sneered, "He's with that guy from
Junior year... the one who's gone missing? What's his name...? John,
Jack...?"
  "Jacob," I said through clenched teeth.
  "Yeah, that's the one."
  Brady stared at me, unsure of what to make of the revelation. I thought I
caught a look of awe and respect for a half-second, before he blinked it
away.
  "Col, if he's with that gang... I dunno if I wanna mess with him," Brady
said.
  "They're not so great. What're they gonna do to us? Anyway, I think I
know a way to even the score. He's seen ours, so I think it's only fair..."
Collin said snidely, "...if we see his."
  Collin was slightly taller than me, but of course, not even a fraction as
strong. All the same, when he grabbed my arms and pulled them around
my back, I figured I would just go with it. In my head, I was laughing as I
feigned a struggle. This could actually turn out to be fun. And if things
got out of hand, I knew I'd be able to get myself out of it. Besides, Paul
was waiting right outside.
  Brady yanked my shorts down. This time, I was sure I saw a look of awe
and respect.
  "Holy fuck!" he swore, "Collin, you've gotta see this."
  Collin released me roughly, and I stumbled for a second, my legs still
tangled in my shorts.
  "No WAY..." Collin's eyes shot up to meet mine, and then back down at
my junk. He wrestled the astonishment out of his expression,
rearranging it into a look of scorn. "Fucking freak!"

  "Hey Seth!" Paul's voice boomed off the tiled walls. "What the hell's
taking you so long?"
The two boys froze in fear as Paul rounded the corner and stopped short
at the sight. He flicked me a "what-the-fuck?" look, and then quickly
collected his wits.
  "Dude, this is NOT the time or place for show and tell," he said as he
started striding towards me.
  "Sorry Paul, I was just..."
  He was standing right in front of me now, staring me straight in the eye.
  "Sam's not going to be happy when he hears about this," he grumbled.
  My face grew hot, but not before Paul slipped me a sly wink. He had a
plan.
  "But I won't tell him... if..." he mused.
  "If what?" I whimpered, letting some hysteria steal into my voice, "shit,
Paul! I don't want Sam to be mad at me; please, don't tell him! What do
you want? I'll do anything!"
  "...anything?" His eyes flashed with lust. They glided down my torso,
burning with the repressed hunger from months of sharing Jake's
fantasies. The warmth of his body pressed against my rising hard-on.
  "You two, out!" he snapped.
  I glanced over his shoulder at Collin and Brady, staring at us, wide-
eyed.
  "NOW!" he bellowed.
  They scampered away, slipping on the wet tiled floor as they went. I
cracked a smile as Brady snuck a final glance back, before the two of
them were out of sight. Paul smirked at me.
  "Well that worked..." I said, but was quickly silenced by him.
  "Shh!" he shushed me, and then added in the quietest of voices, "they're
still hiding around the corner."
  "Really?" Listening hard, I could make out both their manic heartbeats
mere feet away, just inside the door, behind the partitioning wall.
  Paul pushed me down onto the bench, and rubbed the front of his cut-
off denim shorts as he leaned into me.
  "Go down on me, bitch," he commanded in an artificially stern voice. I
bit my lip to keep from sniggering, and he was having trouble keeping a
straight face himself.
  "Get fucked."
  "No, huh? It's just you and me, Clearwater. You don't have to pretend.
Your boyfriend's been gone a while, bro. Bet you're getting pretty hungry
for some dick to suck." I pulled a face at him, but he urged me to play
along. "So here, I'll let you taste mine. I think I'm being pretty generous
to a little cock-smoker like you."
  He undid the button of his shorts, and then slid his fly down, gradually
revealing dark pubes and a long, slender rod.
  "Go ahead. You know you wanna."
  I wrapped my hand around it, palming it slowly.
  "Yeah, that's it... you like it? Huh, kid? It's a nice one, huh?"
  I rolled my eyes at him. I was completely boned by this point, and
started jerking myself as well.
  "Ooh... yeah, boy," he moaned, playing it up, "come on. Suck it for me."
  I didn't want to seem too eager. It was all about drawing out the
suspense for our two spectators. So I took my time in pushing his cut-offs
down to below his knees, all the while still rubbing him. I drew closer to
him, my open mouth waiting as I tried to look indecisive.
  "Come ON, Seth! Are you gonna do it or what?"
  One strong hand gripped the back on my head, the other the base of his
cock. He started to force the two together. Now it looked like I had no
choice. I guided it between my lips.
  "Shit!" I heard one of the boys whisper, and the other quickly shut him
up. I was afraid to look over; in case they caught on to the fact that we
knew they were there. I glanced up towards Paul. His eyes were blazing,
nostrils flaring as he tried to slide more of his nine inches into my
mouth. He was fighting a dilemma - to give in to the burning desire
spurred on by Jake's fantasies, or to not give away the game we were
playing with Collin and Brady.

  In the end, the game won out. He pulled his cock out, slapping the side
of my face a couple of times with it as he did. Then he yanked me to my
feet so suddenly that my head spun. His hands were hot on my skin, his
breath like desert wind. Kicking off his shorts, he dragged me into the
last booth, under the still-running shower. The water almost seemed to
turn to steam as it struck his body. Dark hair matted over his fierce eyes.
He leaned up against the wall, and I ground into him, my hand never
leaving his dripping tool.
  "Think they fell for it?" I asked.
  "Well, they're coming this way," he grinned. He pushed strands of wet
hair off my face. "Better get back to it, huh?"
  I dropped to my knees and started sucking him again. His fingers wove
their way through my hair, urging me on. The boys must've come within
hearing range, because Paul started up his rambling again.
  "Yeah... that's the shit... suck it," he moaned. "Come on, deeper, man! I
know you can do it... you're a natural."
  Sure enough, the boys were just in the next stall, where I'd been hiding
before. I could only just hear the rasp of Velcro as the flies of their board
shorts came undone. Paul's eyes were shut now; his head slumped back
against the wall. As far as they knew, we were blind to them. Now it was
only a matter of offering the bait that would lure them in.
  "Oh... oh, God Seth... Fuck man! What are you doing?" Paul cried out
sensually.
  I was doing nothing different at all, just watching him for the signal.
  "Urggghh... oh yeah," he groaned even louder, "no-one's ever done that
to me before... feels so good, man! Arrrhhh! Feels so... fucking... good!"
  That was all it took. The boys couldn't resist peeking around the corner.
  Paul's eyes flashed open, and the predators' grin flooded his expression.
  "Hey, you two!" he yelled.
  Their heartbeats and breathing quickened in their chests, and they tried
to make a run for it. They were fast. Paul and I were faster.
  I had Brady by the waist, not that he was putting up much of a fight.
Paul, on the other hand, had a struggling Collin's neck gripped firmly in
the crook of his elbow.
  "'They're not so great', huh?" Paul's mocking voice was like a red-hot
brand in Collin's ear, "'what are they gonna do to us', huh? I'll show you
what we fucking do to little shits like you!"
  "Paul, calm down!" I hissed.
  Brady gave me a worried look over his shoulder, and I realized that my
hard-on was grinding against his butt as I kept him restrained. I looked
away.
  "Fuck 'em, Seth!" Paul guffawed, "they want this bad, don't you boys?"
  Collin gave no reaction. But I could feel Brady's heart race even faster,
almost smell the adrenaline coursing through his veins.
  Paul let go of Collin, who crumpled to his knees, choking. Paul circled
around to the front of the boy, between him and the exit.
  "All yours, Collin," he said, "I'm waiting."
  The smaller boy tried to stand up, but Paul grabbed him by the neck in
a split-second, guiding him back down onto his knees.
  "Wrong answer. Try again."
  I couldn't see Collin's face, but I could hear the breath hissing between
his teeth, clenched with indecision.
  "Hey Brady," I whispered, too quiet for Collin to hear. Paul twitched, but
he didn't let on that he, too, could hear me. "There's no point fighting us,
so just go along with it, okay?" I loosened my hold on him, and slid one
hand into his half-open fly. He tensed up. "We won't tell anyone, I
promise... we won't hurt you either. You kinda want this, don't you?"
  He nodded, and turned his head as far as he could to look at me. His
eyes were filled with a mixture of fear and excitement, anxiety and
eagerness.
  I grinned at him. Freeing his young boy-meat from his shorts, I started
to stroke him. I didn't have to restrain him now, and my other hand
roamed freely across his smooth chest. I found his nipple and toyed with
it.
  "Ah!... Ohhhh..." he sighed.
  Collin heard, and both he and Paul looked over. I snuck a glance at
Collin's stunned face, and then started tracing my tongue across the rim
of Brady's ear. Brady turned to jelly in my arms.
  Paul smirked at me. "See?" he said to Collin, "nothing to it. We're just
here to have fun, kiddo."

  The apprehension on Collin's face was still plain to see, and I shook my
head slightly at Paul. While Paul probably wasn't beyond forcing these
guys into doing something they didn't want to, I knew there were easier
ways into a teenage boy's pants.
  My touch lingered on the end of Brady's stiff rod. My breath caressed
his ear, and the slightest shiver travelled up his spine. He was reaching
back towards me, groping, searching for my cock. I took his smooth, wet
hand and guided it to its prize. His cool fingers wrapped around it, just
savoring the thickness, the heat of it. I whispered into his ear.
  "Whaddaya say we help loosen your friend up a bit?"
  His eyes, confused and fearful, darted to meet mine. I grinned back at
him.
  Breaking Brady and I up, I went over to Collin and hoisted him up by
the shoulders. His whole body was tense; he was fighting a deep interior
battle... but we were about to make the choice a lot simpler for him. With
Paul's help, I lifted him up so that he was standing on the bench. The
question didn't even get to leave his tongue before he realized why he was
up there, what he was now in the perfect position for us to do.
  I pressed my lips against the smooth, round head of Collin's hardening
cock.
  The breath whooshed out of him, his flat stomach tightening to reveal
the beginnings of abs under his creamy-brown skin. I beckoned Brady
over. My hand was idly jerking Collin now, and I offered his beautifully
shaped rod to Brady. The two boys' eyes met momentarily; just time
enough to read each others' nervousness, and then Brady took Collin's
cock between three trembling fingers.
  Paul chuckled behind me, the sound resonating off the walls. I started
rubbing Brady's back, encouraging him, egging him on as he got used to
the feeling of another boy's hard-on on his hand.
  "Ever done this before?" I asked him.
  "No," he swallowed, "never."
  "You're doing great."
  Collin moaned in agreement.
  "You've got a really nice one, Col," Brady smiled up at his friend.
  "Thanks, Bray," he replied, "your hand feels awesome on it..."
  "Know what'd feel even better?" I hinted.
  Brady looked over at me. He had a pretty good idea what. I only had to
give him that final push. Hesitantly, he stuck his tongue out and licked
Collin's shaft.
  "Ugh... fuck!" Collin gasped.
  I searched Brady's face for any sign of apprehension. There was none.
He went for it again; this time sliding an inch of his friend's gorgeous
cock into his mouth.
  'Man!' I thought, 'this is going to take forever!'
 Paul apparently had the same thought, because his hand was soon on
the back of my head, pushing me towards Collin's crotch. I got the hint
pretty quickly, and started lapping at his rock-hard tool. The feeling of
not one, but two tongues bathing his rod was almost too much for him.
He leaned back into the wall, head thrown back, fingers dragging across
the slick tiles.
  Emboldened by my actions, Brady started working more and more of
Collin's shaft, doing laps up and down the smooth tube from the wet,
matted hair at the base to the perfectly defined head. I watched for a
moment, stunned as he licked that cock, covered in my saliva. Then I was
back on it as well, the two of us fighting for territory on either side of
Collin's rock-hard pole. We couldn't help getting the occasional taste of
each other as we worked our way from base to tip. Our hungry tongues
met as the lean boy-meat that had separated them tapered off and, as if it
was the next logical step, Brady pushed his tongue into my mouth.
  With our lips still brushing Collin's pulsing cock, Brady pulled me into
a hard, long kiss. His hand took over where our mouths had left off,
jacking Collin's spit-slicked boner. He started breathing harder through
his nostrils, fighting down a sound in his throat until he couldn't bear it
any more.
  "Ahhhgggghhh... fuck!" he finally cried out loud, his bottom lip still
rasping at mine. I pressed my lips to his again, fighting through his
grunts and moans.
  "Unnngghh... oh... jeez..." he groaned. His eyes squinted shut and his
mouth fell open for air. I pulled him back to me, and my cock brushed
something I wasn't expecting. What the fuck? I looked down. Paul was on
his knees, sucking hungrily on Brady's aching rod. And knowing Paul,
Brady was getting the blowjob of a lifetime. I trailed my fingers through
Paul's wet hair, and he turned to grin at me. Without warning, he
swooped down on my cock, sealing his lips tightly around it before I
could even buckle at the knees.
  He didn't miss a beat. His other hand got straight to beating off a
stunned-faced Brady. Collin's throbbing meat was still between us, and
Brady took it back into his mouth with relish. I felt Paul's lips slide part-
way off my cock, and a moment later a whimper of pleasure escaped
Brady's throat as his cock joined mine inside Paul's warm mouth. My
cock was being pleasured from every angle; Paul's eager tongue and
Brady's slick tool rubbed and nudged and swirled around it until I no
longer knew which was which. Some sight we must've been, Collin with
two mouths on his cock, and Paul with two cocks in his mouth.
  Brady must've been feeling the same thing, because soon he was no
longer able to concentrate on sucking Collin. His eyes glazed over, his
breathing quickened... and then the inside of Paul's mouth grew even
warmer and wetter as Brady blew his load. Paul churned the thick cum
around both our cocks. I held Brady up as the last shudders wracked his
body, his breathing turned into gasps of "oh, fuck... oh, fuck".
  Collin stared down at us, wide-eyed and panting from the sight of his
friend shooting a wad into another dude's mouth. He was on edge, in
desperate need of release. I went for his cock one more time, but Brady
shoved me away, hungry for the feeling of Collin's beautiful dick in his
mouth again.
  Even Paul had stopped blowing me now. He stood up, wiping his mouth
as we watched the two horny young buddies. Collin had his hands on
the back of Brady's head, pumping that beautiful fuck-stick of his down
the boy's throat. Brady's hand was on his own dick, already hard again
just from the hot sounds his friend was making.
  "Oh man... Fuck, Bray, I'm gonna cum!" Collin moaned.
  Brady's looked up impishly at him, their desire for each other sparking
the air between them.
  "Ughhhh... fuck!"
  Then Collin was cumming down Brady's throat. The two boys were
shuddering in sync, as though the force of the orgasm was so strong it
was tearing through both their bodies at once. Only then did I notice that
Brady was cumming again, long ropes of his teenage boy-juice hanging
off his dick and hand. Spent, Collin dropped down to the bench, and
Brady sat next to him. He put an arm around Collin's shoulder and his
lips began working their way across his friend's glistening wet skin until
they met Collin's, and the boys pulled each other into a steamy kiss.
  They were still panting, staring into each others' eyes, with Collin
grasping a handful of Brady's wet hair, when Paul cleared his throat
conspicuously. I guess they'd forgotten we were here, because fear
quickly flashed across both their faces. Brady was trembling as he wiped
his cum-covered hand on his thigh.
  "Guys, don't worry, we won't tell anyone. You're safe," Paul said.
  The dread in their faces was quickly replaced by something else.
Wildness grew in their eyes. They shared a quick grin and then were up
and pouncing at us. Sure, Paul and I could easily have fought them back,
but it was hard to resist when your cock was quickly disappearing into a
boy's eager mouth.
  Brady was struggling with my length, but he was still doing an amazing
job. I smoothed his dripping hair out of his face so I could watch as he
brought me closer and closer to the edge. Next to me, Paul was more
forceful as he face-fucked Collin with his lean rod. It didn't take long
until both of us were fighting down the cries building in our chests. I
looked over at Paul in time to see his brow creasing as he licked his lips
and drew his palms over his taught chest.
  "Fucking... bad idea..." he whispered through labored breaths, low
enough that only I could hear him.
  "What... Whaddaya mean?" I hissed back.
  "Sam's... oh fuck... not gonna be happy."
  "He's not...? Why wouldn't...?"
  "'Cos we're... initiating..."
  It clicked.
  "Shit! Oh, no! Paul... uggghhh... we can't... we gotta..." but it was no
use. Paul's muscles tightened as spasms rocked his whole body, draining
his werewolf-making jizz straight down Collin's throat. Watching him
cum, I knew I couldn't hold back either. My toes dug into the grout
between the tiles, and I cursed my stupidity as I filled Brady's mouth
with my own life-altering seed. By the time my body stopped shaking, the
two boys were standing again, grinning at us.
  "You guys are fucking hot," Brady beamed, "thanks!"
  "Yeah, thanks guys," Collin chimed in. "That was so awesome!"
  They hopped back into their board shorts and took one last look at us,
still standing there, our jaws dropped. Then they laughed to each other,
patted each other on the back, and raced out into the sunshine.
  Paul turned slowly towards me.
  "We are so screwed."

  It was only a matter of time, then, until Sam found out. The next time
Paul phased, whoever he was with was sure to catch a glimpse of what
we'd just done. Unless Paul didn't think about it... but how do you push
a memory like that from your mind? The next time someone mentioned
me, Paul was sure to find his mind wandering back. Just imagining
sitting in Sam's house with the rest of the pack, I could already feel their
judging stares burning down at me... Sam's temper rising as he heard
about how we'd broken the code. The hungry gleam in the other boys'
eyes as they started thinking of ways to punish us.
  That's why I knew I couldn't stay. Paul muttered something about
heading over to Sam's, all the while scratching the back of his neck while
rolling a smooth pebble back and forth across the concrete sidewalk with
his bare foot. I made some piss-weak excuse about having to be home. We
both gave a nervous laugh.
  "Okay, see you then."
  "Yeah, laters."
  I strolled along the beach in the direction of home, taking my time while
waiting for Paul to wander out of sight. The instant he was gone, I
changed directions, breaking into a run. My new route crossed Paul's,
but if I took a shortcut, I could cut ahead of him and he'd never see me. I
sprinted across backyards, jumping the odd fence and skirting around
the sides of buildings. Just as I planned, I overtook Paul long before he
even got to the main stretch of houses. The familiar house was on my
right, and I made my way around it, down the slope, to the small garage
on the forest's edge. I shook the doorknob - locked, as expected. I didn't
think anyone had been here for weeks.
  So I did what I'd been taught to do: grab the doorknob, lean against the
wall next to the doorpost. A slight gap appeared as the timber walls
creaked under my strength. I pushed harder on the door, and it opened.
  The air inside was damp and dusty. I coughed slightly, and swept aside
the cobweb that caught on my face. A large tarp covered the Rabbit in the
centre of the space. I scanned the shadows which seemed to pool in the
corners, shirking away from the sudden, intruding sunlight. There, next
to a pile of engine parts - a motorcycle, gone unused and unwanted since
its owner returned it, never wanting to see the damn thing again. It was
Bella's bike, and I was going to take it back to her.

  It took me a while to find the key. Jake had never actually told me
where he'd put it, I just knew the hiding place from his memories. They
were in the bottom of a container of screws and bolts, that I knew, but
there were about two dozen of those on the shelves above the bike alone. I
started looking, and lucked out at number nineteen. The maker's mark
on the head of these particular bolts read "B.S." - Bella Swan. I rolled my
eyes. Jake's idea of being clever. Sure enough, I found the key at the
bottom.
  I'd only ridden a motorbike a couple of times, when Jake took me out on
short spins, but it couldn't have been that hard, right? Anyway, anything
Jake could do, I could do. Well, that was the theory at least. After a
couple of bad starts, and a lot of unhealthy-looking smoke, I kicked the
stand back on the growling beast of a machine. I had to get out of there
quick, before Billy heard the noise and came to see what was going on.
  The feeling was exhilarating - once I got the hang of it. It wasn't as fast
as running as a wolf, but it was a whole different kind of feeling, having
this angry-sounding machine between my legs. The whole point of not
phasing was so that Jake wouldn't see me going to Forks. Not that he'd
be able to physically stop me, anyway. But he would try to guilt me out of
going, or worse, order me not to go. And I wouldn't be able to say no to
that. He'd find out later, of course, but hopefully by then he would see
why I needed to go, why I needed to get answers.
  The wind rushed through my hair and beat against my chest. Fun as it
was, riding a motorcycle in nothing but shorts; I figured that in the
interest of at least trying to look safe, I'd stop by my house for jeans, a T-
shirt, and a pair of shoes. Then I took off down the highway. The short
stretch that separated La Push and Forks was winding. Thick foliage
obscured anything that could be speeding towards you at each and every
corner. It already took all my concentration to ride this thing, let alone
pay attention to the road. I didn't need any distractions. But still they
came, scattered here and there at first, then quickly becoming like a
howling gale that I couldn't ignore. Each one a fresh slap in the face.
"HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY?" flyers on every telephone pole, taped to
every sign. They glowed in brilliant sunshine, and I found myself choking
down tears, forcing my eyes to stay focused on the road in front of me...
doing all I could to keep from becoming another statistic in Chief Swan's
books.

  I'd never actually been to Bella's house. But I took the turns as though
I'd driven this route a thousand times, like some part of me knew where I
was going. I guess, in a way, I did. And when the whitewashed timber
house appeared around the bend, I didn't need the red truck parked in
front of it to know that I'd come to the right place. I was ready to knock
on the door, but Bella beat me there.
  "...Seth?" Her face fell. "I'm sorry; I heard the motorcycle and thought
that..."
  "Sorry, Bella," I said, "it's only me."
  She did her best to smile.
  "No, it's okay," she laughed a little, "it's good to see any of you guys
again. Look, I'd invite you in but..." she stepped outside and clicked the
door shut behind her, "Edward and Alice are here. Wedding plans."
  Sure enough, a sporty yellow car that looked a million bucks too fancy
for Forks was parked further up the street, its windows tinted close to
black against today's harsh sun. And I could smell the burnt-sugar sickly
sweetness wafting off her hair.
  "Alice must be wondering where you've suddenly disappeared to," I
grinned.
  "Edward can probably hear you. I'm the only one who doesn't know
anything that's going on around here."
  "Nuh-uh," I said, "I only found out about this wedding yesterday."
  She winced. "Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't really intending on
inviting anyone from the Rez. Nothing personal, I just thought that..."
  She blinked at me half a dozen times in quick succession.
  "...wait. Then how did you find out?"
  Oops.
  "I, uh... overheard Billy..."
  Bella shook her head. "We haven't told Billy yet."
  Why did I have to be such a crappy liar?
  "Alright; there was this invitation at Jake's house and..."
  "...an invitation?"
  The door opened behind Bella, and a figure even paler than her
emerged. Even in the shade, the reflected sunlight made his chalky skin
shimmer in an otherworldly way.
  "Seth, what a nice surprise," he said in a velvety voice.
  "Hey Edward!" I replied, turning my attention completely to him, "what's
up?"
  His gaze turned skyward for an instant before he picked up on the
figure of speech.
  "Enjoying the peace," he smiled, "and I expect that our Quileute allies
are doing the same?"
  He knew very well that we were on full alert. I just nodded.
  "How nice for you. Bella? Alice would like your opinion on the cake
frosting. Our judgment on that particular matter is not as reliable as
yours." He took her hand and kissed it lightly, and I watched as she
melted like warm butter under his touch.
  The flash of reflected sunlight was what caught my eye. The heart
dangling from the thin silver chain on her wrist was dazzling, clear like
glass, but infinitely more complex in the way it threw a thousand
rainbows of light in every direction. It was so brilliant, in fact, that I
nearly missed its tiny, unassuming companion. Hanging a few links
down on the same chain was a wolf, delicately carved from a reddish-
brown wood that I could only describe as being the same color as my own
skin. The detail on it was so fine that I could make out the grain of the
fur along its arched back, the definition on its muzzle as it howled at
some far-away, invisible moon.
  Just seeing it opened a floodgate of dream-like memories, hazy and
undecipherable. I felt a rush of heat from deep inside me - reminiscent of
overheated, sleepless nights, of Emily pressing a cool washcloth against
my feverish forehead... of Jake sitting on the floor at my feet, turning a
minuscule piece of wood between his fingers in the firelight.
  "Where did you get that?" I asked. Bella froze, and I reached over and
tapped the tiny charm.
  "This?" she said, "Jake made it for me. For my graduation."
  "And I gave her the heart," Edward added, "a token representing my
heart, which belongs eternally to her."
  Oh yeah; the heart was cool, hard, glittery... expensive looking. So
Edward, I laughed to myself. He heard my thoughts, and chuckled.
  "I've seen one just like it..." I said, turning my attention back to the wolf.
I was still having trouble recalling anything more than just cloudy
images. But I shook the thought out of my head. "No... no, I must be
imagining things. It's really cool, that he made that just for you."
  "I know," she sighed, "he did so much for me, Seth... I didn't deserve a
friend as good as him. All... all I ever did was hurt him. I wish he could
just find some way to move on..."
  I took quick breath, so I could speak up. But Edward's eyes were
suddenly boring through me, and it didn't take a mind-reader to know
that he wanted me to keep quiet.
  "It's funny..." Bella continued, "that was why I couldn't even bring
myself to invite him to the wedding... I didn't want to make him feel like
he HAD to be there, 'cos that'd just hurt him even more... and now that
he's gone, I don't even get a choice."
  "Wait, you didn't invite him?" I blinked at her.
  She shook her head.
  I thought, then who...?
  Behind her, Edward's stony expression shifted ever so slightly.
  "No," he said, "I did."
  Bella and I both turned to look at him, stunned.
  "I thought it was the proper thing to do, to extend an olive branch to
Jacob. If things had gone the other way, I would've wanted the choice."
  Bella's confused frown turned into a reluctant smile. "You really did
that?"
  "Yes," Edward said, "I'm sorry for going behind your back, Bella, love...
and," he turned to me, "I'm inexpressibly sorry for the resulting damage
my gesture has caused, to you and to the pack."
  "What do you mean?" Bella asked.
  Well, I'd come here to tell her the reason why Jake ran away, to find out
why she would hurt him like that... but now that it turned out it wasn't
her fault, what could I say? Luckily, Edward stepped in.
  "It seems that hearing of the wedding caused Jacob such pain that he
needed to escape the reminders of his life here."
  "Oh... oh my God," Bella choked out, "Jake ran away because of me?"
  Edward put a comforting arm around her shoulder.
  "I... oh, God, I'm so sorry Seth," she continued, her hand pressed
against her throat, "I had no idea that... he said he was fine! We said our
goodbyes; I thought that we were... I never... Seth, believe me, I really,
really, didn't want things to turn out like this,"
  "Hey, it's okay Bella," I said, "S'cool. Everything will work out. It always
does."
  She nodded slightly, but I could see the pools gathering in her eyes
now. "Sorry... I've got..." she started to sob, "I've got to go back inside...
Alice is waiting... It was nice seeing you, Seth." She looked out at Edward
again before disappearing into the house, tears beginning to stream down
her face.
  There was an awkward silence.
  I thought for a minute about what I'd really come here to tell Bella, how
the most important part of what I had to say didn't get said. I didn't mean
to upset her, just to make sure she knew all the facts. I guess now wasn't
a good time, though.
  Edward smiled knowingly. "Now is definitely not a good time. I know
you really want to tell her, but I think that in this particular case, it is
Jacob's secret to share."
  Yeah. He had a point.
  "The two of them have an interesting relationship. You of all people
should know what I mean. I think it's best if we leave them to work
things out in the way that best suits them. You wear your heart on your
sleeve, Seth, and I admire that; but not everyone does... or can."
  "Alright," I said, "I won't say anything."
  "Thank you. I'm sure Jacob will appreciate that too." His deep golden
eyes stared through me for a moment, and I could only guess at the
thoughts he was reading in my head. Then he laughed. "I wasn't prying,
Seth, I was just thinking... I would actually like you to be at the wedding;
you and your mother."
  My jaw dropped.
  "Wh... why? I mean, wow... thanks! But why?"
  "As a token of our alliance with the Quileutes," he answered, "and, in all
honesty, I consider you a friend. It would honor me greatly if you would
be there. Also, I think Bella would appreciate some part of Jacob's life to
be present. A bigger part than she knows, but that can be our little
secret."
  I smiled, and my throat caught a little at the sentiment, "Awww...
thanks Edward!" I wanted to hug him, but the part of me that was
shouting "AH! VAMPIRE!" was already hard enough to suppress. "I'll have
to ask Jake, though. See what he thinks."
  "Of course. I'll have to ask Bella as well; no more surprises for her. But I
hope to see you there."
  "Wouldn't miss it... buddy."

  The ride home felt easier, somehow. It was like a great weight had been
lifted off me, even though I couldn't put my finger on what exactly had
changed. I guess I knew where everyone stood now, and everything made
more sense, now that things were out in the open. Then something
popped back into my mind: the wolf on Bella's bracelet. I'd almost
forgotten! I started ruminating over it again, thinking and thinking about
where I'd seen something like it...
  A huge black shape looming in the side mirror ground my train of
thought to a halt. I nearly careened off the road. My heart racing, my
palms sweating on the handle grips, I regained control as another wolf
appeared in the opposite mirror, getting closer fast. It was only Sam and
Embry. I must've just crossed the treaty line. Sam was gaining on me at
an incredible speed, but wasn't quite able to catch up. I slowed until he
could keep pace by the bike's side. He turned to me, and snarled.
  "What's up?" I yelled over the roar of the engine.
  He jerked his head to the right, urging me to pull over. So I did. The
bike ground up onto the gravel, and I kicked the stand down. I'd barely
dismounted when Sam charged up to me. He raised his hand, and an
unfathomable expression crossed his face.
  "Sam, don't!" Embry yelled from further down the road. He jogged
towards us.
  "What the fuck did you think you were doing?" Sam roared. Flecks of
his spit struck me. He drew a deep breath, and then glared at me with
deep disdain. "You smell like one of THEM."
  "I went to see Bella. I didn't know that he'd be there."
  "You have NO IDEA what kind of danger is out here right now... We're
working overtime to keep the pack safe and then you go and blow it..."
  Embry had caught up to us now.
  "Seth, it's great to see you're okay, man," he interrupted,
"Sam, he's okay, see? He's not hurt, and that's all that matters. Come on,
let's go home."
  "He's going to fucking BE hurt in a second if he doesn't tell me what the
hell's going on!" Sam barked.
  "Alright!" I yelled back, "I went to see Bella 'cos I had this whole thing
planned out where I was gonna tell her that Jake ran away because of
her!"
  "He didn't know until yesterday, Sam," Embry offered.
  Sam looked at me, the anger melting off his stern face.
  "Shit... you didn't know? Really?" he asked.
  I shook my head.
  "I found the wedding invitation in Billy's house, and I couldn't believe
that Jake would react this badly over something she'd done. I'd
thought... he was over her, you know, and we could finally move on. But
after I found that invitation, I had to find out myself what was really
going on. So I went down there to get her side of the story... and it all fell
apart 'cos she didn't know it was her fault either."
  Sam was sucking in deep breaths through flaring nostrils, trying to
make sense of it all. A car whizzed past, and I wondered what they
thought of the two naked guys cornering a much younger boy with a
stolen motorcycle behind him. In a better world, someone would've called
the police.
  "Where did you go?" Sam asked. Here we go again, no bullshit.
  "Bella's house," I replied promptly.
  "Not the... Cullens'?"
  "No, Sam."
  "Did she say anything about them... changing... her?"
  "Nothing," I said, "only about the wedding."
  He paused, digesting the information.
  "Were any of them there?"
  "Edward and Alice."
  Sam cursed under his breath. "Then they know everything."
  "He only hears what I'm thinking at the time. And I trust him, he'll keep
our secrets. He said he would."
  Sam let out a laugh unlike anything I'd ever heard before. Behind him,
Embry clenched his fists nervously. He didn't like where this was going.
  "Trusting bloodsuckers," Sam chuckled darkly, "you've got so much to
learn, Seth."
  I started to say something in my defense, but Embry shook his head. I
quickly shut my mouth.
  "We came looking for you, after Paul... 'showed' us what you two had
been up to this afternoon. But you weren't home, and nobody knew
where you were, not Paul, not Leah, not your mother. I had to send the
whole pack to search for you," Sam said. I winced. "I know I can't give
you direct orders, Seth. But you've got to listen to me when I tell you to
stay on the Rez."
  "Why? What's out here that you guys can handle that I can't?"
  Sam ignored my question, choosing to turn away instead. I tried again.
  "'Cos, you know, I thought I did a pretty good job of proving myself
when I fought Riley."
  Sam had nothing to say to that. His lips pressed into a line.
  "Yeah, thought so. So put me back on the rounds, Sam. Let me help the
pack. I can do this, okay? Just give me the chance."
  Sam shook his head dismally. "That stunt you pulled with Paul today
just goes to show that we can't let you out of our sight. I... I can't even
START to think of a punishment for the two of you." He exhaled slowly.
"Alright, starting tonight, you're back on the rounds. If you're lucky, I'll
let you pay off your forfeits that way. Otherwise..." the hungry grin
spread across his face, "...you'd better be sleeping with one eye open."

                                    *

  Running again. After so long away from it, the world at night seemed
like another reality. The sounds, the smells, even seeing everything by
moonlight... it set my mind ablaze. Add to that the fact that I hadn't used
my wolf senses in weeks, and I was pinching myself every few minutes
just as a reminder that this wasn't a movie. This was real.
  The silence, though, was unreal. There was nothing, just so much
nothing. No Embry, no Sam, no Jared or Paul or Quil. Not even Jake. I
couldn't hear the rest of the pack since Jake ran away, meaning he
renounced Sam as Alpha and severed the psychic ties between the two
packs. And Jake, wherever he was, was fast asleep. I watched his dreams,
strangely enough. I didn't think that wolves could dream, but the human
buried deep inside his subconscious did. They played out in our linked
minds; some were little more than swirls of color, fading in and out of the
blackness. Others were more vivid, like snippets of home-made videos,
shaky and grainy, with bits missing here and there. But I found that if I
focused on one enough, it began to play out more fully, fleshed out by my
own memories, until it became a sort of conversation between his sub-
conscious and mine, reminiscing about the past.
  I drew the images out, like a wisp of smoke from a blown-out candle,
hanging tantalizingly in my mind's eye until they slowly disintegrated
into thin air. There were dreams of our nights on the couch: throwing
handfuls of popcorn at each other. Dreams of chilly mornings on the
beach: him limping along with his crutches, me shirtless and sweating
after just returning from a night's run. And one dream that caught my
attention so fully that I almost stopped running, just so I could
concentrate harder on it, brushing the black fog off its hazy, shapeless
forms.
  Two wolves, each just like the one I'd seen on Bella's bracelet, howling
at a moon so bright, so clear, it didn't seem real in that sky. Of course, it
wasn't real. It gleamed in a kind of changing light... the firelight
reflecting off the circle of white shell, a moon inlaid into a piece of finely-
carved wood. I saw myself, through Jake's eyes, sleeping on Sam's couch;
half-draped off the edge, a thin blanket across my waist preserving my
modesty. Jake continued to sand at the edges of the hardwood box lid,
making the join so seamless, so fine, that only the strongest but nimblest
fingers would be able to pry it open again, once it was closed. Made for
my hands only.
  Then everything rushed forward faster, like road signs you couldn't fully
read while you sped down a highway. I grasped at the images, the words,
the sounds, anything...
  "...made it for you..."
  The box in my hands, dexterous fingers easily sliding the lid open.
  "...on Mount Ranier... gonna take you there. Run with me!"
  The forest tumbling all around us... the stars watching over our playful
chase up a mountainside.
  "...see...? ...the moon..."
  A brilliant full moon in the diamond-studded velvet of the sky.
  "...look up and remember that I'm looking at the same moon... wherever
I am..."
  His voice breaking up, fading away...
  "...always with you... don't forget that..."
  These weren't things he'd remembered. These were things he'd always
dreamt about doing, but never got around to. Things that were still
haunting him, in his dreams, even after he'd surrendered his entire
conscious mind to the wolf's instincts. And I knew now what he was
telling me to do.

  It was dawn, the end of my shift. Dawn came earlier now, in the
summer, so it was probably too early for me to be finishing. Six a.m. was
the official changeover time, but I couldn't very well wear a watch, could
I? Embry was taking over from me, but with no psychic link to ensure the
changeover happened without a hitch, I'd arranged to meet him outside
his house at sunrise.
  He was sitting on the steps in his boxer shorts when I got there.
  I loped up to him, tongue wagging as I panted from the effort of
running. He ran his hands through my fur.
  "Hey Seth, how'd you go?"
  I pulled a wolfy grin at him.
  "You can phase back," he chuckled, "Quil's gonna be out there 'til six."
  I concentrated on the one thing that always helped me phase back. The
most human memory I could think of: kissing Jake for the first time on
the beach, on that night that now felt so long ago. The fear, the
apprehension, and the complete euphoria that came when that moment
was finally realized... those were all things only a human could possibly
feel, all at the same time, and still want to go through with it. I was back
on my own two feet in seconds.
  I untied the shorts from around my ankle and hopped around trying to
put them on, while Embry laughed and stifled a yawn.
  "What time is it now?" I asked.
  "Four-thirty when I woke up," he grunted.
  "Shit, sorry."
  "No biggie. No watch on your arm, no other wolves in your head... only
the sun and moon to tell you the time... it must be like running in the
dark." He blinked up at the just-brightening sky. "No pun intended."
  "Yeah... it's weird running with no one around to listen to you think."
  Embry nodded sleepily. "You talk to Jake?"
  "I fucked with his dreams. He was asleep most of the night."
  He raised his eyebrows and forced down a laugh.
  "Do I even wanna know what that means?"
  I grinned impishly at him.
  "Well, I'd take running alone over running with Quil right now."
  "Quil? Oh shit... yeah, I totally forgot! You guys are..."
  "Yeah," Embry said, shifting uncomfortably, "I had another dream about
him last night. That'll go down well."
  I yanked him up onto his feet, letting his weary body slump against
mine. For the first time, his skin was actually cool to the touch; only
because I was still overheated from running.
  "Walk me home?" I asked.
  "Alright, little bro. Then I've gotta get out to Quil."
  We walked the short distance in silence. It was just like those quiet,
simple mornings, when Jake was still around, where he'd be up waiting
for me when I came home from a night patrol. We'd just appreciate the
few stolen moments we had together. A few minutes here, before he had
to take the next shift, or if we were lucky, maybe half an hour there,
before we had to go to school. Never enough time. I'd like to say I made
the most out of every last one of those mornings with him, but there were
times when I missed a whispered word or a kiss, because I was too tired,
and often slipping under.
  What I wouldn't give just to have him here in front of me now, telling me
that he loved me, just one more time.

  I was back at Billy's front door later that morning. The few hours of rest
I'd forced on myself after Embry went off to run his shift had left me
feeling barely rested. Between slipping in and out of sleep, I was thinking
of one thing and one thing only:
  "The box," I said to Billy when he answered the door, "do you still have
it? Where is it?"
  "You here to steal that too?" he asked smugly.
  I swallowed my words, embarrassed.
  "I'm sorry about that, Billy. I didn't have any other way of getting to
Forks."
  "And you HAD to ride it into Forks, didn't you? Charlie thinks we have
some sort of bike gang growing down here, wants to start a crackdown on
the 'deathtraps'... or so he's calling them. Ha! Wonder if he knows the
deathtrap his daughter is walking into."
  There'd been a bit of tension between Billy and his best friend Charlie
since Jake ran away and Billy refused to do anything about it. Charlie
thought Billy was a bad dad for letting his sixteen-year-old son ride
motorcycles and run away from home. Billy thought Charlie was a bad
father for allowing his daughter to marry the undead. Things like these
tended to put a bit of strain on friendships.
  "Well now he can chalk another one up to the Rez," Billy continued,
"where we have fifteen-year-olds breaking the speed limit on stolen
motorbikes."
  Apparently someone HAD seen me, and had called the police. Word
spread like fire in dry grass on the Rez, and the council members were
among the first to know. They included Billy... and my mom. Nice to
know that all of us small-town folk were always looking out for one
another.
  "Look, I really am sorry... if there's any way I could make it up to you..."
  "You can tell me where my son is," he interrupted.
  I took a slow breath.
  "Sorry, Billy. Even he's not too sure. He doesn't pay much attention to
borders. Somewhere in northern Canada, I think? There's still snow
where he is."
  Billy nodded and looked down at the creased hands folded in his lap.
  "So he's alright?"
  "He's okay."
  "Did he say anything?"
  "He can't exactly 'say' anything right now... it's complicated. But he
misses you... and his friends..." I stopped before I could choke out the
one other person he missed, most of all; gritted my teeth against the
building ache in my chest.
  "It'll be alright, son. He'll come back," Billy sighed. "Come on then, let's
get you that box."

  The house was neater than the last time I'd been in here. The pile of
papers on the table was gone. I guess my mom or Charlie must've come
around and helped him clean.
  "It's still right where you left it," Billy said as he motioned to Jake's
room, and then wheeled over to the couch, giving me a private moment.
  It was right there. I saw it, and Jake's dream washed over me all over
again. I could almost smell the wood; and the smoke of the fire that he
was sitting next to while he carved it. I traced the edges of the shell moon,
and felt the strength and precision of the hands that etched each line,
each notch. I held it, and wanted to know its secrets. One last secret to
learn about the man I loved.
  Billy smiled sympathetically at me as I came back out of Jake's room. I
must've looked like I was about to cry. I certainly felt like I was about to.
  "I taught him the skills, but he got a lot better at it than I'll ever be,"
Billy said. "You should be flattered. He made it just for you. He made
something for Bella as well, something small... but that was just practice.
He really poured his time into this one."
  I turned the palm-sized box around and around. Something rattled
inside. Billy gave me a knowing look.
  "It's worthy of a relic," he said, tugging at the leather cord that he wore
around his neck - the one that was attached to the legendary pouch of
vampire ashes that had been worn by every Chief since Taha Aki.
Shocked, I took another good, hard look at the box that I held in my
hands.
  "Don't worry," Billy chuckled, "no Cold Ones were harmed in the
making of yours. I guess he could've gone after the ashes of the one you
butchered up in the mountains, but that wouldn't have been a very
romantic sentiment."
  I laughed back uncomfortably. I realized I was actually a bit speechless.
  "Go on, then. Take it. Go talk to him, keep him company. He must be
lonely out there. And tell him his old man misses him."
  I nodded, and all but bolted out of the house. Stopping just before I
shut the front door behind me, I thanked Billy, and told him I would pass
on the message. Then I was off and running as fast as human legs could
carry me.

  I ran straight home with the box wrapped in both hands as though it
were made of pure gold. As though it would evaporate like a dream as
soon as I let it go. Even from half a mile away, I could hear voices inside
the house. I didn't think anyone was home, but seeing how high the sun
was in the sky, I figured that Embry and Leah must've just come back
from their morning shift.
  "...Sam's made a big mistake. He's stupid to let him go out there on his
own, not until we know for sure what the leech wants. Come on."
  "Yeah, I guess, but why just us two?"
  "Come on, Leah, you know no one else is gonna back me up on this.
None of them have the balls to challenge Sam's orders."
  "Ha! So you have to come to the girl for balls... Alright, what are you
saying we do?"
  "You and I split his rounds, half and half,"
  "Fuck off! I'm not running half his shifts!" Leah's shrill voice protested
as I came through the door.
  Embry spun to face me, looking like he'd just been caught out. The both
of them were suddenly silent. My brow creased.
  "What's going on guys?" I asked.
  "Hey! Totally didn't hear you coming! Sneaky little fucker, aren't you?"
Embry said, pulling a shit-eating grin.
  I shrugged.
  "Who's running who's shifts now?" I tried again.
  "Oh, that. Leah was just offering to run half your shifts for you..."
Embry said offhandedly. Leah glared daggers at him. He ignored her.
"You know, cos the whole punishment thing is so unfair anyway. And I
was gonna run the other half. So you don't have to worry about
anything, you can just stay here until you feel ready to be back on duty
again."
  "But I am ready," I said, confused, "I wanted to do it."
  "Seth, we would really feel better if..."
  "Anyway!" Leah butted in, "we have to run this all by Sam. Sam gave
the punishment, it's up to him to say if Seth has to go through with it or
not."
  "Yeah, of course," Embry agreed, slightly condescendingly. "Leah, why
don't you go to Sam right now and ask him what he thinks?" Leah
looked like she was about to bite his head off, but then turned and
clomped out. It was only then I noticed what had been wrong - I'd
smelled something weird as soon as I stepped inside, but it wasn't until I
saw the silken scarf tucked into the waistband of Leah's denim shorts
that I realized what it was. Well, it was more the smell of the scarf,
wafting in the breeze from the open door.
  It reeked of vampire. And not one whose scent I recognized.

  "What's that?" Embry's voice shook me back to the real world.
  "This?" I said, distracted. My nose was still curling at the unfamiliar
scent, "Oh, this! This is the box that I told you about, the one I saw in
Jake's dream."
  "This is it?" Embry asked, a bit disbelievingly. He put his hands out,
and I hesitantly placed the box onto his strong fingers. It took a
moment's concentration to finally make myself let go of it.
  "Dude, I know this!" He broke into a wide smile, "I didn't think he
finished it... it's... wow..." His thumb brushed the pattered edges of the
lid. "He slaved over this while you were sick after your initiation. Dunno
when he meant to give it to you, but I guess this is as good a time as
any."
  He passed it back to me, and I may or may not have grabbed it back
from him. Just a little.
  "Have you opened it yet?"
  I shook my head. "I'm kinda scared to. It feels like it's the last piece of
him, you know? Like if I do, that's it. That all of Jake that there'll ever
be."
  Embry chuckled. "Don't be stupid, Seth. He's coming back. And you two
have a lifetime to spend with each other. So come on, I wanna see what's
inside."
  "Don't you know?"
  "I have a pretty good idea," he grinned, "but I'll let you see for yourself."
  I tried prying open the lid, my fingers gripping until they were nearly
white. He'd made it hard to open - even for me - that was for sure.
  "No, man... here... it slides open." He pushed his thumb against one
edge, and the lid shifted a bit. Ah. I slid it open the rest of the way.
  Inside, there was a curled mass of black leather cord. I lifted it carefully
out of the box. Attached to it was a disc of wood. Below that, a small
collection of beads clattered as the necklace swung from my hand. I
studied the circle; it was made of the same wood as the box, and just as
intricately carved. Turning it against the light, the detailed tribal design
became apparent. It was in the style of an old Quileute totem, but not like
one I'd ever seen before. Two stylized wolves filled the two hemispheres of
the circle, intertwining in the middle where their bodies pressed together.
Their heads were turned towards a small circle of bright shell above
them, as though they were howling at the moon.
  Embry gaped at the tiny work of art I held up.
  "Shit, Seth... that's incredible," he gulped, "it's beautiful."
  I was choking down a lump in my throat. The necklace spun lazily
again, and the light caught the carved image of the two wolves, bound
together as one. My lips, my hands, began to tremble.
  "Here," Embry offered. He carefully lifted the leather cord from my grasp,
and motioned for me to turn around. A moment later, he slipped the loop
over my head. His large but dexterous fingers deftly adjusted the small
knots along the cord until the circle rested on my collarbone. I turned
around to face him again.
  "Looks good," he smiled. "Jake would've been glad to see you wearing
it."
  I went to my room to put the box away, placing it carefully in a drawer
in my bedside table. And then I collapsed onto my bed, staring at the
ceiling while silently wishing Jake was here, so I could tell him how
much I appreciated this small but profound gift. My heart floated,
somewhere between joy and longing, in a sort of bittersweet happiness,
while my fingers traced again and again the cord around my neck, the
piece of Jake that I could now call my own.

  The edict from Sam came back before the end of the day: I wouldn't be
paying my forfeit through running. I watched Embry's smug face with
scorn as Sam declared incontestably that the whole thing with Collin and
Brady was Paul's fault. Paul had apparently been the one who thought it
would be fun to press those two into messing around with us. He'd be
paying the price for betraying our secret. So it looked like Embry got
what he wanted. And the fuckwit even got to look like the good guy for
saving my ass from punishment. I wasn't completely off the hook,
though. I would be paying back my time as mediator between the pack
and Jake, checking up on him whenever Sam wanted, whether Jake
liked it or not.
  So, for the rest of the summer, I was to be on duty only when Sam
wanted me to tell him where Jake was. I never ran patrols, even though I
wanted to. I wanted to spend time talking to Jake, and it didn't matter to
me if I didn't get a response. But Sam told me to leave Jake alone, and
Embry, of course, was on his side. Embry and Leah kept to their word,
and ran all my shifts for me, so the only chances I had to talk to Jake
was when I snuck out in the middle of the night and phased. Of course,
he was usually asleep by then, so I spent the nights watching his
dreams, feeling as though he was there with me.
  That is, until I got caught. Embry finished his shift early one night, and
came back towards my house. He found me laying in wolf-form in my
backyard, falling asleep on my crossed paws. He only ran day shifts after
that. By nightfall, he would be back at my house, ready to play another
night's game of keep-Seth-distracted. And with no excuse to phase, I was
in a deadlock. It became a kind of uneasy truce. I knew the pack was up
to something, keeping something from me. He knew I knew. Neither of us
wanted to breach the topic. And so it went. He was pretty damn keen on
sharing my bed now, to make sure I didn't sneak out in the middle of the
night. And I had less and less to say to him every night until, before long,
a cursory "goodnight" was all that passed between us before we fell
asleep, facing opposite ways.

  I was woken up one night by a loud banging at the front door. This
time, I was sure it wasn't Leah. Leah always came home the back way,
where the house faced the trees. I clambered over Embry, making sure
this time to get some shorts on before I left the room. I could hear the
steady breathing coming from mom's room - the noise hadn't woken her
up. Even so, my first instinct when I opened the front door was to hush
whoever it was, even before I registered who I was silencing.
  "Collin?" I blinked, surprised, "Brady?"
  The two of them were sweating through their T-shirts, even though it
was a cool night. Brady looked like he was shivering a little. It was the
sign of a fever I recognized, only because I'd watched Leah suffer through
it, and been through it myself.
  Collin was breathing hard. "Seth, man... What the fuck's happening to
us?"

  I let them in, and went to wake Embry up. By the time I returned, with
a bleary-eyed Embry in tow, the boys had crumpled across the sofa,
gasping for breath. I sat down in the armchair. Embry chose to stay
standing.
  "Guys, you know the other day... in the shower block down by the
beach?"
  Their eyes darted to Embry: tall, brooding, imposing... and very
unimpressed at having been woken up. Collin looked back at me
accusingly, as though I'd betrayed their secret. Brady was in no mood for
games.
  "Yeahhh..?" he groaned.
  "Okay, see..." I wasn't sure how to put this, "Paul and I... we passed
something on to you..."
  "Fuck! Like a disease?" Collin yelped.
  "No, not a freaking disease!" I sighed, exasperated. "It's something
genetic... we didn't think about it until it was too late, and even then, we
thought it was only a small chance that it would affect you... it was
only..."
  "You're turning into werewolves," Embry cut in.
  I glared at him.
  "See, it gets easier every time," he smirked.
  "You guys think we're idiots? Collin griped. "You expect us to believe
those stupid old stories?"
  "Col, maybe he's..." Brady started. But Embry interrupted him.
  "Oh yeah? You'd better believe this." He yanked his shorts off, preparing
to phase.
  "Embry!" I yelled. "Not inside the house!"
  That took a bit of drama out of his big reveal. Collin seemed to be
holding back a laugh. Reluctantly, he went out onto the porch. The boys
craned their necks over the top of the couch to see what was going on.
He'd barely cleared the steps onto the dirt path when he exploded out
into a snarling mass of fur.
  "Holy shit!" Brady shrieked.
  "Fucking... how did you do that?!"
  Embry had phased back by now, and scooped his shorts up as he strode
back into the room.
  "The same way you're going to be able to do soon," he explained, while
the boys looked at him with a renewed awe.
  Embry and I tried to tell them all we could, but we could only tell them
so much in one go before they'd freak out. We mentioned the whole
vampire-hunting deal, but decided to leave out the details of their
initiation. It was nearly dawn when they passed out on the couch.
  "I'll stay out here with them," Embry said.
  "You sure?" I asked. He and I both knew that neither of us had been
comfortable sharing a bed for a long time now, not while there was this
unspoken wall between us.
  "Sure. Go get some sleep, dude."
  He slumped into the armchair as I switched the lights off. It was hard to
admit to myself that, even though I might be mad at Embry for keeping
things from me, he was still always looking out for my best interests. And
there hadn't come a day yet where I couldn't trust him to do what was
right.

                                     *

  I sat on our front step with Collin and Brady, waiting for Embry to
arrive. They'd spent the day here, wringing as much information about
werewolf life as they could out of me. Collin had taken to the whole idea
with a kind of brave acceptance. Brady was still scared shitless.
  The sun was still high in the sky on this typical long, summer evening. I
wondered what Embry would want to do tonight with our two new
recruits. Ordinarily, he'd get here and propose we do something pointless
like go for a walk on First Beach. Something to take my mind off the only
thing I really wanted to do. I wondered, as I often did, if I phased now and
made a run for the Treaty Line, would I get there before my brothers
caught me? They couldn't hear me - and that was a distinct advantage.
They wouldn't be able to chase me across the line into Forks, and from
there I could easily lose them, tracking Jake, wherever he was. And then I
could run with him forever, just the two of us, leaving the world behind.
  I was snapped out of my daydream by Leah stepping out onto the porch.
She stretched and yawned, completely ignoring us three younger boys.
She'd been sleeping all day in preparation to run the dusk-to-dawn
double shift. Half of which was supposed to be mine. She was running
my shifts for me, just because Embry told her to. And she wasn't
complaining. That was the most worrying part of all.
  Embry emerged, on cue a second later, from the spot between the trees
where he always did. He and Leah passed each other wordlessly, and she
strode off, vanishing into the forest the same way that he had appeared.
  I saw as he got closer, he had look of a kid who'd just been told his mom
was cooking his favorite for dinner. The two boys sat up as he
approached, wondering what he looked so pleased about.
  "Someone's happy," I said mockingly, "are we going to the pizza and
chicken wing place again tonight?"
  "Better," he grinned, "we're going to Sam's."

  The whole pack was at Sam's when we got there. Except... well, you
know who. And Leah. She was running by herself tonight for a good
reason.
  "Boys! Come on in, prepare yourselves for a feast!" Sam announced
grandly as he ushered us through the house to the table that was our
card table, our dinner table, and our battle-plan table. But I'd never seen
it set up the way it was now.
  I guess this was the punishment Sam had been waiting to deal out on
Paul, because there he was, lying naked across the long table. His head
and feet just about hung off either end, and were tied down to keep him
still. His wrists, too, were bound under the table by Sam's infamously
tight knots. Like a trussed roast pig, his mouth was gagged with an
apple. Around him, an assortment of food had been laid out: pizzas,
chicken wings, hot dogs, meat patties for burgers, fries, and huge bowls
of pasta. And on his lean, toned body, in contrast with his dark
complexion, was dessert: donuts, cakes, brownies, cookies... things
covered in cream and frosting and chocolate sauces which dripped down
his velvet skin.
  "What are you waiting for, guys?" Sam clapped the bug-eyed Collin and
Brady on their shoulders, "dig in!"
  Introductions happened as we started passing the food around.
Everything was so relaxed, so casual. It was like Collin and Brady had
been part of the pack forever. I stayed close to them, the only other guy
their age in the room packed full of oversized older boys. I didn't know
why I worried, though - they fit in just fine. Well, once they got over the
need to try to hide the tents in the front of their pants. It didn't take long
for them to realize that no one in this room gave a shit.
  "Hey Paul," Collin grinned when he went back to the table for another
helping. He'd already powered through an entire pizza and more, earning
him much respect from the rest of the pack. Now he was going back for
dessert.
  He picked something small, round and chocolate-covered off Paul's
chest and popped it into his mouth. Grinning, he then lapped the
remaining chocolate off Paul's skin. The older boy grunted in frustration.
  "He's under Alpha's orders to stay very, very still tonight, aren't you
Paul?" Sam gloated. He scooped up some of the mousse from the mound
that surrounded Paul's stiff meat, and stuck it in his mouth.
  "You guys do this a lot?" Brady asked meekly.
  "Not really like this," Sam answered, "but we have our fun."
  I'd explained to the boys earlier today the freedoms that we enjoyed with
our other pack brothers. Suddenly, their secret of sneaking a peek at
each other's hard-ons in the shower didn't seem like such a big deal.

  The "fun" kept coming as the night went on. Jared and Embry had a
brownie-eating contest off Paul's abs, with their hands tied behind their
backs. I got the feeling that Jared was dropping more than the occasional
brownie just so he could have another go at licking the chocolaty mess off
his buddy's taut, muscular body. When all the food was gone, the plates
were cleared and Paul was left roped to the table. Sam drifted across from
the corner where he'd been waiting all night. We all knew he had a grand
finale planned, and now it was time.
  "Gather 'round, boys!" he called out. One by one the pack formed a
circle around the table. "I expect that you guys have all met Collin and
Brady by now; our newest brothers." A cheer went up from the group.
  "Paul here so kindly decided to take the initiative to invite them into our
pack, but didn't let us have any of the fun!" An even louder booing.
  "So, tonight, since we've got TWO new brothers to welcome into our
pack, we're gonna put a spin on the usual initiation..." he grinned.
  The rules were simple: everyone would stand in a circle around Paul,
jerking off onto him. The last one to cum had to give Paul a handjob. The
first had the honor of letting Paul give him head. Collin and Brady got to
clean up the mess.

  The air was already electric with anticipation. Shirts had come off, but
everyone still had their shorts on - those were the rules - until Sam said
so. But damn! The heavy, protruding bulges around the table were a
sight to behold. I wondered if Collin and Brady would get stage fright
when they saw the amount of massively hung cock that was gathered
here tonight. Quil and Embry returned with wooden crates for the two
younger boys and me to stand on - we were the only ones not tall enough
to shoot our loads onto Paul.
  "At the ready, boys," Sam smirked. Hands all around the table flashed to
their flies and waistbands.
  "Go!"
  Seven pairs of shorts were flung off quicker than a werewolf phasing on
the run, and then fists became a blur, pumping on hard dick.
  The competition was intense. No one here was afraid to admit that they
beat off all the time thinking about one, or two... or three... of our
brothers, horned up and jerking it, with nothing hiding their magnificent
bodies or their red-hot sex. So this was like a fantasy played out; not just
in our imaginations, but in real life. Man, how could any of us keep from
creaming right there and then?
  Quil was the speed demon among us, and it made the jizz rise like hot
lava in my balls just watching him, doubled over, cranking with both
hands in his best effort to get first place. Embry wasn't far behind, just
from watching Quil. Their eyes met across the table, and Quil cracked a
killer smile at Embry, who tried to look like he hadn't been staring. Collin
and Brady were to my right, Collin's hands beating his smooth, perfect
shaft. I wondered how it would look when he'd reached his full werewolf
size. It probably wouldn't be the biggest, I smiled to myself, but damn,
it'd be the best looking by far!
  "Oh... fuck!"
  I looked up. Jared had apparently taken the lead, and was now blowing
his thick streams of cum across Paul's chest. He'd just won the blowjob.
We all saw Paul's eyes widen. He was closest with Jared out of anyone in
the pack, and now he'd have to suck him off in front of all of us. Was his
a look of worry or excitement, then? I guess we'd soon find out. Quil took
second place, his load splattering on top of Jared's in droplets as he
furiously jacked his meat right to the end.
  Everyone looked to Embry, expecting him to be next. Sure enough, the
big boy delivered the goods. He looked straight across the table at Quil
now, with no shame whatsoever. Just watching the other boy's muscled
body shudder with each fading tremor of his climax. Quil was busy
wiping the tip of cock clean on Paul's arm when he was struck by a huge,
flying blob of Embry's cum.
  "Dude! The fuck?!" Quil cursed, before being smacked in the abs with
another projectile shot of Embry's teen goo. "On Paul, doofus, not me!"
  Embry was laughing even as he shook the last droplets of jizz from his
cock. "Sorry, buddy. Didn't see you there," he winked.
  It was now a close one between Collin, Brady and I. Their hands were
speeding up, their mouths hanging open as they grunted and gasped. I
watched Collin jack his perfect tool, and Brady's glance occasionally slip
over to stealthily admire his friend hard at work. They looked so fucking
hot together, all pretense of shame gone now; just a race to the finish
line. Yeah. I was gonna cum.
  "Arggh! Jeezzz..." I cried out. I leaned forward and shot my wad into a
thick puddle on Paul's abs, then smeared the wet tip of my cock along his
side.
  The other two boys followed, coming hard within seconds of each other.
I guess it only occurred to Collin at the last minute that he'd be lapping
up his own sweet jizz along with all the rest, because he tried pointing
his spurting cock somewhere, anywhere else where it wouldn't land on
Paul. Too late. His boy juice mixed in with the mess that was already on
Paul's torso, and then Brady added another couple of big spurts to that.
Still panting, the two boys shared a look that said "oh shit, now what?"
  All eyes were on Sam, clearly the last now. I studied his stony face,
looking for any sign that he'd lost on purpose. But if he had, he wasn't
giving anything away. Like the good sportsman he was, he graciously
accepted defeat, and took Paul's throbbing cock in his free hand.
  "Mnnnggghhh!" Paul moaned through his gag. His body jolted from
having his aching shaft touched for the first time tonight. His Adam's
apple bounced in his throat, and he looked as though he might cry if he
didn't cum soon. Sam stroked Paul's swollen meat in tandem with his
own, all the while watching Paul beg. He ground his thumb over the
head of Paul's cock, and all around the circle we all felt the same electric
feeling that ripped through Paul's body, making him arch up off the
table, abs and chest bulging, the muscles in his arms and legs straining
against his restraints. A couple of hands started stroking half-hard cocks
again.
  "Shit... Gonna... blow!" Sam gasped. His huge rod sent rope after rope of
his thick, hot Alpha cum flying over Paul's body, coating him from navel
to chin. At the same time, Paul's body began to rock, and soon he was
pulling against the ropes like a madman in a straitjacket. He looked like
all his body was exploding out of his cock, he came so much. Finally,
Sam wiped his jizz-covered hand on Paul's heaving abs.
  "Jared," Sam said coolly, "I think now's a good time to claim your prize."
  A wry grin broke out across Jared's face, and he started stroking his
cock to full mast again in anticipation. He took the apple from Paul's
mouth.
  "Arghh... Ahhh!" Paul gasped, writhing under Sam's touch, "hang on,
no! Please man..."
  Sam growled.
  "No! I mean... ughhh... I want Jared... I want you to fuck me. Please
Jared... come on, dude... I'm begging you."
  Whoa.
  You could almost hear the dicks hardening around the table.
  Jared smiled obligingly, but not before pushing a few inches of his cock
into Paul's mouth anyway.
  "Alright, buddy... but slick it up good. It's gonna hurt otherwise."
  Paul did as he was told, lapping and licking at our brother's hard tool
until it gleamed. Sam made way for Jared, who undid the knots around
Paul's ankles and lifted them up on his shoulders.
  "None of that pussy-tickling shit you pull on Kim, man," Paul panted.
"Go hard, or go home."
  I only found out, a lot later, what all of Sam's pack already knew, and
were dying to try out for themselves: Jared could fuck. If Quil was born to
take cock, Jared was born to give it. They'd all seen so many of his
memories of making Kim scream in pleasure... none of them blamed Paul
for wanting to experience it first-hand.
  "You think I'm good, huh?" Jared laughed, playing it up in front of the
pack.
  "Fuck yes! I know you are."
  "I don't think you know HOW good..." he said as he began slipping one
finger after another into Paul's tight hole.
  "Show me!" Paul yelled. "Show me how good you are!"
  "How good I am at what?" Jared teased. Normally, Paul wouldn't take
this sort of shit. But it was hard to argue with a guy who had half his
right hand inside you. As it was, Paul looked like he was about to burst a
vein.
  "At fucking! C'mon man," he groaned, "stop playing games; I just want
you to fuck me!"
  "Okay then, let's show these boys just how good I am..." he pressed his
cock against its target, but before he had a chance to shove it in, Sam
gave him a nudge that had Paul taking nearly all of him.
  A round of "ooh shits!" and "ouches!" rose up from the small audience.
  "Arrhhhhhh..." Jared moaned in surprise.
  "Fuuu-AHHHHH-CK!" Paul cried out loud. And louder again as Jared
leaned over him and drove his cock that last little bit of the way in.
"Awwrrrhhh... GOD!"
  "Too much, dude? Want me to take it out?" Jared asked. As if he was
going to. But he eased back a little bit.
  "No man, please! Don't take it out! I can take it... I can take it... just...
FUCK man!"
  "How's that feel?" Jared asked.
  "Motherfucking unbelievable..."
  "Well that's nothing compared to how it's gonna feel."
  He started with short strokes, barely an inch in and out each time, until
Paul was screaming and cursing for more. Then he drew out further, and
pumped in deeper with every thrust. By the end, he had just the head of
his throbbing meat in Paul, just pausing there, waiting for the magic
words before he'd make another move.
  "Gimme it, man... come on, PLEASE don't stop now!"
  "You asked for it," Jared sneered.
  With that, he pounded Paul like the dog in heat that he was, while Paul
grabbed at the table, moaning, grunting, in a world of his own. He didn't
even care when his captivated audience sent another round of jizz
pouring down onto his trembling body. This might've been his
punishment, but deep down, every guy there that night secretly envied
Paul.
  Even after Jared dumped his second load of the night inside him, Paul
was huffing and whimpering, begging in a panting voice for Jared not to
take his cock out of him.
  "Sorry bro," Jared smiled. "There's always next time."
  Paul's ordeal wasn't over yet. His legs were soon tied back down, and he
was gagged again so Collin and Brady could be let loose on his cum-
drenched body. If the two initiates had any apprehensions when they got
here tonight, they were all gone now. Their tongues worked over Paul as
though he was a snow-cone on the hottest day of summer, and, now
knowing what werewolf cum could do for them, they fought playfully,
nudging and elbowing each other out of the way, even slipping on Paul's
cum-slicked body to get the biggest share of the warm, creamy mess.
Paul, who was well and truly fucked-out by this point, accepted his fate
as the two younger boys savored every part of his stunning physique.
  With Paul cleaned off, they turned to each other. It started with Brady
saying, "You've got some on your face," and licking a line of the white
stuff off Collin's cheek. Before anyone knew it, the two boys were a tangle
of arms and legs, tumbling over the table, with Paul still in the middle of
it. They were discovering each other for the first time, grabbing at each
other's smooth, lean bodies; hungry mouths locking together, interrupted
only by gasps of hot breath. Brady had been transfixed before by what
he'd seen Jared do to Paul, and it was easy to see he was eager to try it
now with Collin. He leaned into Collin, placing the other boy's hand on
his rigid teen-meat, giving him all control.
  "Later, Bray," Collin whispered into his friend's ear, "not right now."
  They'd obviously forgotten how good werewolf hearing was: their faces
went red when disappointed "awww's" came from around the room.

                                   *

  Collin and Brady became... not so much the new runners for the pack...
more like my personal bodyguard. At least, that's what it felt like. Sam
called it training. But it was hard to teach them anything when the only
areas we were allowed to run in were well within the boundaries of the
larger circle patrolled by the older boys. Leah called it "doggy day-care".
She wasn't far off. Anytime I wasn't with Embry, or if Leah wasn't home,
Collin and Brady were never far away. I even looked outside one night to
find them running circles of my house! Like I needed to be kept under
watch! Maybe Sam was afraid I'd try to run off to see Bella or the Cullens
again.
  On the bright side, I got to phase more often, and in the daytime too.
Phasing back and forth to explain things to Collin and Brady was a
hassle, but that was a small inconvenience to suffer in exchange for the
euphoria that rolled over me every time I phased to wolf, and felt Jake's
presence in my head once again. His humanity was almost all gone now,
and the other guys in the pack weren't thrilled about that. What did they
expect, though? He had to kill his dinner every night - in fact; he had to
kill anything that tried to kill him.
  One day, while he was somewhere in the Rockies, a hunter took a shot
at him. I froze mid-run, and watched Jake whip around, teeth bared at
his human attacker. I got a good look at the man's face when he Jake
turned to face him, how he regretted taking that shot, how he'd regretted
getting up that morning and picking up his rifle. How he'd regretted ever
being born. It took all my strength to will Jake into turning his back on
the hunter; into running for the trees and forgetting the whole incident
ever happened. He wasn't happy. No, the WOLF in him wasn't happy. I
like to think that somewhere in there; Jake was thanking me for
reminding him of who he was. After that, I spent many sleepless nights
thinking about how many such situations I HADN'T averted... how often
that sort of thing happened, how many times I hadn't been there to stop
him. It's the wolf; I kept reminding myself, not Jake.

  "I'm so freaking BORED!" Brady whined.
  It was a drizzly Saturday morning and, as had become the habit, the
boys were parked at my house. Doggy day-care. Leah was supposed to be
coming home from her morning patrol bearing offerings of the food
variety, which was the one of the main reasons why we hadn't left to do
something, ANYTHING, more interesting.
  Brady slumped onto Collin, nestling into the contours of his friend's
body until he was comfortable, and then rested his head on Collin's
chest. Collin put an arm shyly around Brady's waist. He kept looking
anxiously at me, waiting for a reaction. As if I gave a fuck.
  "Wish I'd gone to Sequim with mom," I complained under my breath.
  "Sam said you couldn't go," Collin pointed out.
  "Yeah, didn't need a reminder," I replied.
  Brady whispered something right into Collin's ear. Yeah, they'd caught
on that we other wolf-boys could hear them, and they'd learnt to be very,
very quiet now. Collin grinned back, and dug his fingers teasingly into
Brady's ribs. The two boys shared a giggle. God, this was painful to
watch. What made it worse was Sam's reason for keeping me around.
Edward and Bella's wedding was in three days, and he wanted to be able
to contact Jake at anytime, to see if he'd changed directions or anything.
So far, nothing. No change. Jake knew the wedding was going to happen,
and it looked like he couldn't care less. Sam wasn't so sure, though. That
was the other reason why I was stuck here, perched by the phone; I had
to be ready to be on-call at any moment, in case Sam wanted news about
Jake.
  The boys giggled again, and this time Brady's hand slid up the front of
Collin's shirt. Their faces grew closer...
  "Guys! Get a room, for crying out loud!" I yelled.
  They both turned to look at me expectantly. I sighed.
  "Fine, you can use mine."
  Brady was dragging Collin up by the collar of his grey T-shirt in a half-
second.
  "Don't fucking..." - the door to my room banged shut - "break
anything," I grumbled.
  Great. Stuck in a house with two lover-boys who fucked like
jackrabbits. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Brady was the one with the
infatuation; Collin was just going along for the ride. I played with the
wooden medallion that hung from my neck, and my mind drifted back to
those first, hot few months, when Jake and I were like that. Before his leg
got put in a cast. Before he ran away. And now, with the wedding just
days away, and him showing no signs of changing his mind... well, could
anyone blame me for doubting that he was ever coming back?

  The phone next to me rang, jolting me upright. Probably Sam; the
phone call I'd been waiting for all morning. I squeezed my hand into a fist
above the handset, wanting so badly to ignore it. From my room, Collin's
moans started to fill the house. Fuck it. Anything was better than
listening to that.
  "Hello?"
  "Hey, Seth, it's Bella."
  Well this was unexpected. My spirits lifted a bit, even if her voice
sounded a bit downbeat. I knew why she was calling, and it was nice to
know that she, for once, was on my side.
  "Oh, hiya, Bella! How are you?"
  "Fine," she replied, though she clearly wasn't.
  "Calling for an update?"
  "You're psychic."
  "Not hardly," I chuckled, "I'm no Alice - you're just predictable."
  "I know I am," she paused for a second. "How is he?"
  I sighed. "Same as ever. He won't talk, though we know he hears us.
He's trying not to think HUMAN, you know. Just going with his
instincts."
  "Do you know where he is now?"
  I tried to think of the scenery, the last time I saw through his eyes. That
was a few days ago now, but there was still snow. Maybe even tundra. He
was pretty far north. "Somewhere in northern Canada," I said, "I can't tell
you which province. He doesn't pay much attention to state lines."
  "Any hint that he might..."
  I cut her off before she could ask me the question I'd been avoiding
thinking about myself. "He's not coming home, Bella. Sorry."
  Another pause. "S'okay, Seth. I knew before I asked. I just can't help
wishing."
  "Yeah. We all feel the same way."
  "Thanks for putting up with me, Seth. I know the others must give you
a hard time."
  "They're not your hugest fans," I agreed with a laugh. "Kind of lame, I
think. Jacob made his choices, you made yours. Jake doesn't like their
attitude about it. 'Course, he isn't super thrilled that you're checking up
on him, either."
  She gasped. "I thought he wasn't talking to you?"
  Oops. Backpedal. "He can't hide everything from us, hard as he's
trying." Bella didn't know that Jake and I were part of a separate entity,
either. She assumed the whole pack was still in contact with him, and it
was best to keep it that way, as far as the Cullens knew.
  "I guess I'll see you at the... wedding," she said. She still wasn't settled
with the whole "wedding" thing.
  "Yeah, me and my mom will be there. It was cool of you to ask us," I
replied cheerfully. I thought it was great that Edward had been able to
talk Bella into inviting us herself, since she liked the idea of having me
stand in for her missing best man. It was a sign that Jake shouldn't be so
afraid to tell her about him and I, that she might actually be glad that
he'd found someone who could reciprocate his feelings.
  "It wouldn't be the same without you," she replied.
  "Tell Edward I said hi, 'kay?" I added.
  "Sure thing," she half-laughed, a bit perplexed. She still didn't get the
whole idea of Edward and I being friends, but then again, neither did my
brothers. Well, as far as I was concerned, it was another sign that things
didn't have to be hostile as everyone seemed to think.
  The front door swung open. It was Leah.
  "Ah!" I yelped, my voice cracking in surprise. Fuck, I sounded like an
idiot there... Then I remembered the two boys screwing in my room. "Er,
Leah's home."
  "Oh! Bye!" Bella called out as I slammed the handset back down.

  "Hey Leah, what's up?" I said, a bit louder than was necessary. I
fumbled for the remote, flicking the TV on to a sports game, and turning
it up until the crowd was nearly deafening.
  "What the hell, Seth?!" Leah yelled through the din. "Have you gone
nuts?"
  "No," I replied, trying to keep my voice at a normal tone, even though I
was clearly shouting, "I just wanna be able to hear it... from my room!" I
started edging down the hallway.
  She shook her head bewilderedly at me.
  I opened my door.
  CRASH! I heard the glass shatter. Fuck! I knew they'd break something.
  The lamp had been knocked off my bedside table as Collin and Brady
fumbled to cover up.
  "Shit, you scared us!" Collin exhaled, "We thought it was Leah."
  He'd spoken too soon.
  "What the fuck was that?!" Leah came running. Took a look at the
broken lamp. Saw the two boys sprawled across the floor in a tangle of
sheets. Brady had somehow managed to get his left leg into the right leg
of his jeans.
  "Ugh! Boys..." she muttered, and skulked off again.

  Collin and Brady left soon after that. By the back way, so they wouldn't
have to pass Leah on their way out. I walked by her room on my way
back to the front of the house.
  "What's that smell?" I asked, screwing up my nose at the stench.
  "What smell?" she replied.
  "THAT... Yuck! How can you miss it?"
  It was then that I caught sight of the white silk scarf hanging from her
the handle of her wardrobe; the same one from the other day, along with
the scent of a vampire that I didn't recognize.
  Leah narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me.
  "Actually, it was probably nothing. Guess it must've been the boys...
you know how they... yeah..." I stammered.
  She rolled her eyes. "I swear to God, Seth, you're getting weirder every
day. I think not having Jacob around has broken your brain or
something."
  "Heh..." I laughed weakly, "maybe. Who knows, huh?"
  She gave me another puzzled look, but by then I was already out of her
way. I'd seen the opportunity to break this impasse, and the key to it was
right here in my house, literally under my nose. The gears in my brain
were turning.

  I'd dozed off in front of the TV, when I was woken up by the phone.
Leah grabbed it within the first ring, before I could even open my eyes.
  "Hello?" she said in a hushed tone, barely a whisper. That was weird;
she never spoke quietly, even when people were sleeping. Nobody
mattered but her.
  "Yeah, he's here... he's asleep," she answered whoever was on the other
side of the line. I kept my eyes shut and did my best to pretend I was
completely conked out.
  "What?! Tonight?" her voice sharpened into a hiss, "but I can't... I just...
He what...? ARGH!" she must've noticed how loud she was getting,
because she suddenly went quiet again. "I can't believe that! Really? She
wouldn't dare! Wait, what did Sam say again?" A pause. "The WHOLE
pack?! Yeah, I know she's dangerous, but really? Isn't that a bit... Okay,
okay, yeah, I get it. Fine. Well, whatever, send them over. I'll be at Sam's
in five."
  She put the phone down, and then rushed to her room. So Sam WAS
hiding something from me! I knew it! And whatever it was, it was
dangerous too. I felt the familiar sense of resentment rising up again. I
hadn't felt it since the battle with Riley, when I thought I pretty much
proved my worth as a fighter to the pack. But here it was again, Sam
treating me like the baby of the group. I knew who was being "sent over"
- Collin and Brady - to guard me, no doubt. Even THEY had a more
important job than me.
  I waited until Leah left; then made my move. I went straight to her room
and grabbed the stinking scarf from her wardrobe. Whatever it was they
were hiding from me; this scarf was a clue to it. I sniffed more closely at
it, but still couldn't identify the vamp. If my brothers weren't going to give
me answers, though, I knew someone who would. I slipped the scarf into
a paper bag, folding the top over carefully, and then began peeling off my
shirt in preparation to phase.

  "Hey Seth! Open up!" Collin's voice came from the other side of the door,
along with his signature impatient knocking.
  Shit! I cursed under my breath. The paper bag went under the counter,
and I answered the door.
  "Sorry man," Brady said with a sympathetic look. "Embry's not gonna
be able to make it tonight, so we're here to keep you company."
  "That's great!" I lied through gritted teeth.
  Dammit! I was wasting precious time. Who knew what dangers my
brothers were facing? I wanted to be out there, to be part of the fight, not
sitting on my ass watching re-runs and eating pizza. Collin and Brady
knew what was going on. I could see it in their faces, the way they spoke
to each other, and spoke to me. Like they were checking every word,
being extra careful that they didn't let something slip out. And they were
practically jumping at every noise. Was the danger here, in the town?
Was that why Sam had sent these two as bodyguards? Because that
would've been stupid. Much better to have us on the offensive than being
sitting ducks.
  A distant howl rolled over the house. I glanced around at the other two,
watching their silent, split-second exchange.
  "That's Sam," Collin said, "I'll go check it out."
  "I'll come with you," I said, jumping up.
  "Uh... Nah, no need. It's probably nothing."
  "Yeah, don't worry, Seth," Brady chipped in, "if it's anything important,
Collin will let us know, won't you Col?"
  "Yeah, 'course."
  I glared at the two of them, but Collin was already shucking off his
clothes and making towards the back door. Seconds later, his padded
footfalls were doing circles of the house, driving me slowly insane.

  I needed an escape plan. It was easier now that they were separated, but
harder because Collin was patrolling outside. One word from him, and
the whole pack would know where I was heading. I took stock of my
options. First, distract Brady. Easily done. During the next ad break, I
started flicking lazily through the channels, finally settling on one
playing some boy band music video.
  "Dude, I love this song!" I cried out gleefully, turning it WAY up.
  Brady raised an eyebrow at me. "Really?"
  "Yeah..." I said. His incredulous look remained. "Okay, I'll admit, it's
only 'cos I think these guys are totally hot."
  "I guess... they're pretty cute," he admitted.
  I started rubbing the front of my shorts, and spread my legs apart so he
could get a better look. Out of the corner of my eye for the rest of the
song, I could see he was distracted.
  Finally, the video ended, and another one started, this time with some
slut trying to sing. Brady lost interest in the TV. By now, I'd slid my hand
through the fly of my shorts, and was massaging my growing bulge. I
could see Brady was sporting a tent of his own.
  "Well, this is boring," I said, nodding towards the TV. He glanced at the
screen momentarily, but was quickly looking in my direction again. "Hey,
Bray," I grinned, using Collin's nickname for him, "wanna play a game?"
  "What game?" he asked suspiciously.
  I went over to him, my hand still buried in my shorts, playing with my
junk.
  "Come on, I'll show you." I took my hand out and offered it to him. He
took it. Very soon, we were making a mad dash towards my room. I
fumbled for the light switch, but pretended to miss it in my eagerness to
push him towards the bed.
  "Why are you doing this?" Brady scanned my face.
  Poor guy. While all the others in the pack had no qualms about messing
around with any of our brothers, Brady, for some reason, only wanted
Collin. Maybe it was because Collin was the only other boy his age. Well,
there was also me, but maybe he thought of me as one of the "older boys".
Whatever, it was kind of cute.
  "I'm bored. It's what we werewolves do," I flashed a grin at him.
  I was lifting his shirt off him now, and dragging my hands down
smooth chest. The transformation had been good to him; he was getting a
sleek, athletic body with nicely defined muscles under skin that was
lighter than most other Quileutes. I paused at the button at the top of his
shorts.
  "This is where the game comes in."

  "Stay there!" I said as I went back out into the kitchen. I was
improvising now, and I didn't have much time. I grabbed the paper bag
from its hiding place and tucked it under my arm - the quicker I could
make this escape, the better. Behind me, the music continued to blare on
the TV. Good, Collin would have trouble hearing us through the noise. It
would buy me more time. I found what I was looking for, and sprinted
back to my room.
  "What's in the bag?" Brady asked.
  "I'll show you later," I teased, "right now..." I produced the coil of rope,
"we can have fun with this."
  Brady was surprisingly well-behaved, considering I was lashing him to
my bed now with rough, improvised knots. His hands done, I moved on
to his feet, but not before pulling his shorts off. The look on his face was
still one of curiosity and excitement. He was almost making this too easy.
Then an idea came to me at the last minute. I grabbed a T-shirt that was
lying on the floor and tied it haphazardly around his head, blindfolding
him. Perfect. I stepped back and admired my work.
  "Awesome. Now we can start," I said.
  "What do I do?"
  "Um... guess what I'm touching you with." Fuck! I didn't have time to
actually PLAY games! Even though Brady looked so good right then...
Maybe... maybe I could just play with him for a little bit?
  I felt around the dark floor for something, anything... A pen! That'd do. I
touched the cold metal to the blazing skin of his stomach. He tensed
immediately, the curves and ridges of each of his perfectly defined abs
becoming even more pronounced as I dragged the pen sensuously across
them. His cock was starting to jump, too.
  "Um... A pencil? Or a pen," he guessed.
  "Too good! Okay, next."
  I grabbed a sneaker from under my bed... thought about it for a second.
Might as well do it, I guess... can't stay here long. I brushed the sole
delicately along the underside of his firm shaft.
  "Ahhh...!" he shuddered, "oh shit... a shoe? Man! That felt weird... but
cool! Do it again!"
  How could I resist? I did.
  "Whoaaa..." His grin was growing wider as he got into this game. "Yeah,
definitely a shoe," he laughed, "come on, the next one!"
  Dammit! I really wanted to stay and play now! I bit my lip. No, you can
do this some other time, I stressed to myself. This was only supposed to
be a distraction. I had to make my escape.
  "Alright, gimme a sec," I said, "I'll go grab a few more things! I'll be
back."
  Brady nodded eagerly, the look on his face more excited than ever.
Sorry, dude. Don't mean to leave you like this, I apologized silently. I
grabbed the paper bag and darted out of the room.
  "Hey, Seth!" he called after me, "Do I get to find out what's in the bag?"

  "Guys, let me in!" Collin yelled, banging at the back door. Shit, can't
take that way out. "HEY! Can you guys hear me?!"
  I only had seconds to make my next move. Collin was stuck out there
without his clothes. It was only a matter of time before he came around to
the windows and discovered Brady tied up, and that I wasn't there. Or
worse, before he phased and called for Sam's attention. I checked that the
front door was locked, to make it harder for him to get in, and then ran to
mom's room. Her window was the closest to the trees. My best chance to
disappear into the woods uncaught was from there. I slid the window
open and quickly pulled my clothes off. Then I leapt out, landing with a
barely a thud on the soft grass below. Collin hadn't heard me, he was
still shouting to try to get our attention. The music blaring out the open
window went suddenly quiet when I eased it shut.
  Oh no. Collin definitely heard that.
  The paper bag went in between my teeth, and I was sprinting for the
trees.
  "Seth?! Seth! Where're you going?" Collin yelled after me.
  I phased on the run, leaping off my human feet on one step and landing
on wolf paws the next. Then I was off like a bullet, faster than Collin
could possibly run. Faster than anyone else in the pack but Leah. Collin
would've sounded the alert by now; Sam and the rest of the pack would
be after me. How far off were they? Argh! I cursed not being able to hear
them. No, it means they can't hear you either, I reminded myself. They
couldn't see where I was, or where I was going. Swifter and more agile
than any of the pack, I had a very good chance of evading them.
  What was that?!
  Branches snapped and stones tumbled behind me, like something had
burst through the trees and skidded along the ground. I ran faster.
  The crashing noises through the undergrowth didn't stop. Someone was
on my tail, and keeping up to my speed. Leah? Probably, she was the
only one who could outrun me. No, I couldn't let myself be caught out by
my own sister. I sprinted ahead. All I had to do was get to the treaty line.
They couldn't follow me over that.
  I ran hard, keeping the highway to my right as I leapt deftly over rocks
and fallen logs, things that would've slowed down any of the others.
Whoever was chasing me didn't fall back, even though I could smell the
treaty line where Sam had marked it. My wolf-brain knew as soon as I
crossed it that I was no longer in his territory. I was safe from him and
the pack; they couldn't chase me this far. Even so, my pursuer didn't
slow down, and I didn't stop tearing through the woods as fast as my legs
would carry me.
  Forks seemed much closer when you could run in a straight line,
without the twists and turns of the highway. And of course, when you
were running at werewolf speed. I was bolting so fast that I nearly missed
the turning off the 101 that marked the narrow drive. I silently thanked
mom for taking the time to look up the address of the place on the
wedding invitation. The spectacular trees on either side of the drive were
ablaze with tiny lights, no doubt for the special occasion that was going
to take place here in a few nights' time. I knew I had the right place, but I
refused to slow down until the smell of vampire started burning my nose.
I was in enemy territory now. Sam wouldn't come this far.
  <Edward?> I thought hard. <Edward, it's Seth! Can you hear me,
man?>
  Somewhere out there, Jake's mind registered that hated name. His
Alpha growl started filling my head.
  No! I had to think clearly. <Edward! Can you come out here please? I
need to talk to you!>
  Jake bristled with anger again. He was howling now, and then
suddenly breaking into a run. The landscape around him was completely
different from the last time I'd seen him. Ice and snow had given way to
lush pine forests. He was a lot further south than I originally thought. A
lot closer to home. He'd been tracking something, though even he wasn't
sure what. He was just going with the wolf's instincts, the need for the
creature to hunt. Whatever this thing was, he'd been following its
southward trail for weeks.

  I saw the huge, darkened house then, glowing deathly white in the
moonlight. Some tense, hushed murmurs wafted from inside.
  <Edward? It's okay, tell them it's just me.>
  The murmurs increased. I heard my name amongst them. They didn't
seem to believe me.
  Finally, Edward emerged onto the porch. I relaxed a little, until I saw his
two big brothers, the tall, anxious-looking blonde one, and the brawny,
cocky darker-haired one - Jasper and Emmett, if I remembered right.
They stood just a little behind him, flanking him like guards.
  Right away, I decided against phasing back to human. In my haste to
leave the house, I didn't tie my shorts around my leg, and... well, those
two guys were just so... big.
  "Seth? What's going on?" Edward asked.
  I risked a step closer to the house, and bowed my head in an instinctive
show of submission.
  <I just wanted your help. The pack is under threat from a vampire...>
  His face tensed up at that, and Jasper immediately picked up on the
change in his composure.
  <...I don't recognize the scent,> I continued <but I thought you guys
might.>
  I dropped the paper bag to the ground at the base of the steps.
  "Heh. Doggy gone brung us a doggy-bag," Emmett chuckled.
  The other two ignored him. They were too tense, too serious to even hear
him. Edward picked up the bag and pulled out the flowing scarf, which
fluttered lightly in the cold night air. Even surrounded by the scent of
multiple other vampires, I could pick the scent from the scarf as
unfamiliar. Edward didn't even get a sniff of it before Jasper caught the
scent on the breeze.
  "...Irina?" Jasper said, perplexed.
  Edward pressed the thin white fabric to his nose.
  "I think you're right," he said. His voice was a mixture of confusion and
worry. He handed the scarf to Emmett, who only nodded in agreement.
  <Whoa! Hang on guys!> I yelled, even though only Edward could hear
me, <You know her?>
  Edward repeated my question to the others.
  "She's kind of like... a cousin?" Emmett answered. "No relation, not even
vampire-wise, but her coven and ours are close."
  <Then why would she be after the pack?>
  Edward had to speak aloud for me again. This was frustrating. Phasing
back was out of the question, though. No way was I letting Jasper and
Emmett see me naked.
  "Don't you remember, Seth?" Edward said this time, "she's the deserter.
She stopped the Denali clan from coming to our aid when Victoria
attacked. She had a grudge against your pack for killing her mate,
Laurent. And I guess she still holds that grudge."
  His jet-black eyes flickered quickly, then he continued, "Alice has been
listening to us... she says Irina has just disappeared from her sight."
  <What does that mean?>
  "Her future is now tied to that of a werewolf."

   And in my head I saw it. Like the real world had cut to commercial, and
this was an ad that was playing. The three vampires in front of me, the
house, the oppressive smell, all faded in comparison to this huge, world-
shifting vision.
  Jake had made his decision. It was the hunter and the wolf again: kill
or be killed.
  He'd known the thing he was tracking, the thing he had been following
south all this time, was a vampire. Not consciously, but the wolf knew it.
That's why the need to follow it was so strong. Now, with our minds
connected and working as one, the pieces clicked together. The vampire
he had followed down the coast, all the way from Alaska, was Irina. It was
her who had been keeping the pack on its toes these past few weeks.
Maybe she was even the reason why Sam wanted to keep me off patrol...
  "I'd say so," Edward sighed. "Vengeance is very important to our kind.
An eye for an eye. Jacob killed Irina's mate Laurent... in return, she will
not want to kill Jacob, but his mate..."
  I felt a cold shudder run down my back.
  "...you."
  Sam had known this all along. Embry had known it. Leah too, maybe
even Collin and Brady. They'd all known that there was a vampire after
me. They had taken me out of her reach, putting their own selves in the
line of danger instead. Now, Jake was going to do the same, and try to
kill Irina before she could get to me.
  No way was I going to let that happen.
  I snatched the scarf away from Emmett.
  "Hey!" he said, jerking back, "Man, what's going on?"
  Edward had already read my thoughts. He knew what I was planning.
  "Seth, don't be stupid! You'll never..."
  But I already had her scent in my head, and was ready to do what I had
to do. Find her, and then lead her away from the pack, to keep them out
of harm's way. Make her chase me to a place where it could be just her
and me, no interference from the pack or the Cullens. Then I'd take her
on myself.
  Edward hissed, suddenly. "Too late, she's followed you here."
  Oh shit. So she was the one on my heels all the way from La Push. All
this time I'd been inches from her grasp. My blood filled with
adrenaline... and fear. But even so, I whipped around, my hackles up,
canines bared.

  She appeared as little more than a pale blur, running up the winding
drive. The lights in the surrounding trees glinted off her marble skin like
flecks of quartz in a smooth, white stone. Her chin-length hair, a shade of
blonde that was nearly as pale as her skin, was swept back as she ran.
She was approaching fast, but there was still a good distance between us.
  I growled, and she pulled her lips back over her teeth at the sound.
  Good, I thought. Now we can play.
  It went against all my instincts to turn my back on a vamp, but I forced
myself to do it, breaking into a sprint the instant I was facing the other
way. I needed the head start, because she was already on my tail the very
next second. The chase was on.
  "Irina!" I heard Edward call after her behind me.
  For an instant I thought he would try to follow us. I hoped not. Other
people had been fighting my battles for me for too long now. This one was
mine.
  It was the worlds fastest game of "catch me if you can". I hurtled
through the forest, faster than I'd ever run before. There's something
about having a vampire on your tail who wants you dead that kinda
drives you to run faster. In the dark, with the moon obscured by the
canopy above, the undergrowth was a jumble of tangled branches that
scratched at my skin and tugged at my fur. A fallen log appeared in front
of me, just one body-length away. No time to react! I leapt over it as best I
could - my back feet still clipped it - and then kept running. It had
broken my rhythm and lost me precious seconds, but I was still ahead.
Behind me, leaping from branch to branch, only hardly ever having to
maneuver across the forest floor, Irina was still hotly in pursuit.

  I ran, and ran, and ran. If it was a battle of who got tired first, I was
going to lose. Werewolves could run VERY long distances, but we were
still living beings. Vampires weren't. There was a good chance that they
could run indefinitely. Sure, they needed to feed, but not nearly as often
as we needed to eat or drink. Even so, I pressed on at lightning speed.
The ground became rockier, steeper, the trees spread further apart. Irina
had to leave the trees as they thinned out, and began to chase me across
the rocky slopes, slowing her down a bit. I didn't know where I was
going, only that I needed to put distance between us and the pack that
would be following our trail from La Push.
  Jake was running too, fiercely hunting down the vampire he'd already
tracked all this way. Our paths were slowly converging. I willed him not
to follow us, going as far as confusing my own thoughts so that he would
be thrown off our trail, but he wasn't so easily misled. In the end, I took
to staring at the ground just feet in front of me; no way could he tell
where I was just from that. He was getting close, though. I could see
mountains through his eyes now. He wasn't far off.
  In the cold light of dawn, a thin, drifting snow had begun to fall on the
mountainside. Now, as I climbed higher, the grey light fell on large
expanses of thick snow. I was fast and agile, able to bound across the
soft, white carpet easily enough, but this was where she was faster. Her
feet danced across the surface of the snow like she was weightless. And
every time I hit a soft patch, sinking a paw a couple of inches too deep, I
was losing precious split-seconds to her.
  Still, we ascended; the hunter and the wolf. Higher and higher, until
the clouds grew into a thick, foggy mess around us. Icy flecks began to
whip at my face, and I could feel my body slowing. It became harder to
see, and soon it was all I could do to pick my way between the sharp
rocks and just keep my mind on which way was up and which was
down. Behind me, the menacing snarls grew ever closer. She was toying
with me now. I was easily within her reach, and obviously faltering. I
guessed it was just part of her sick mind to watch me suffer.
  And I wasn't going to play her games any more.
  I spun around, facing the way I came. The falling snow was so thick
now that I could barely see the steam rising from my own nostrils. I
listened hard, but couldn't hear her. A threatening hiss came from
behind me, and I turned on my heels, only to have the sound vanish just
as suddenly. It was like a great, white blanket of snow had been pulled
over my eyes. Through the screeching wind, I could hear the blood
rushing in my ears.
  Come on, enough of this!
  I howled, just in case I hadn't made my position clear enough. The
hollow sound echoed off the mountain and away into the distance. I'd
never felt as alone as I did then.

  Without warning, she appeared, white on white. The pale silhouette
moving amongst all that uniform snow was the only thing that gave her
away. Within a split-second she was close enough that I could hear the
dry rasping in her throat - the hunter trying to intimidate its prey.
  I snarled back, trying to make the sound as low and threatening as
possible. Was she sneering at me? I couldn't really tell. Maybe she
thought this was too easy, facing off with a young werewolf. Did she
know I'd killed Riley? If she didn't, she had no idea what we were capable
of. She knew that we'd killed Laurent, but maybe she thought that was
the work of a whole pack. A solitary wolf was not a threat to her.
  I arched my back, the fur along my spine bristling. I couldn't show that
I was scared. My heart was racing, and I was sure she could hear that, so
I couldn't afford to show any other sign of weakness. She got so close
now that I could smell the burnt-sugar reek, even through the biting
wind. I saw the ice clinging to her hair and to the fur-lined hood of her
white jacket. Then the little things that made her so subtly un-human -
how her cheeks weren't turning red in the stinging cold, how there was
no steam on her breath as another low growl escaped her marble lips.
How she never blinked.
  I snapped at her then, and the sudden movement sent her into a
defensive pose. She was on all fours, crouched on the ground like a cat
about to pounce. We faced-off for a long second, both watching, waiting
for an instant of weakness.

  Suddenly, it was like I was watching myself on TV. I could see Irina,
ready to spring, and I saw myself, all fur and teeth and claws, eyes
burning with the fires of hell. Was this what an out-of-body experience
was like? Was I watching myself die, then?
  I closed my eyes, but that image was still there. Hunter and wolf. The
wolf had blinked, just for a moment. The hunter saw her chance, braced
herself to pounce. And so the hunter was going to win. With my last
thought, I whispered directly to that other mind:
  "I love you, Jake."
  Then my eyes flashed open, ready to take the hit. Squared my
shoulders, and prepared to lunge back. I howled again, and the sound
came out double, lower, like that of an Alpha...
  Because it was an Alpha's howl.
  <JAKE!>
  Smoothly, calmly, Jake took his place by my side. I didn't remember
him being this big, and his fur was dirty and disheveled, but there was a
kind of ferociousness in his eyes that not even a vampire would fuck
with. He howled again. The rumbling shook the mountainside.
  Irina started backing away almost immediately. The look on her face
was incredulous, and extremely pissed off. She gnashed her teeth, and
the sound was echoed by the huge wolf beside me. Irina did the math.
She could take one of us on, but not two. Jake inched forward with
measured precision. We had the upper hand now. We could win this
fight! But Irina was already defeated. The battle already lost. With the
scowl still on her face, she retreated into the infinite whiteness.

  Jake barked after her, and then started to break out into a run.
  <Jake, no!> I yelled.
  He bolted ahead, but I quickly cut him off. Then he was on top of me,
tumbling, scratching, snapping, a mess of teeth and fur as I fought to
keep him controlled.
  <No! Leave her! It's not worth it!>
  He threw me off, and then righted himself back onto all fours. I stood
back up too, glaring him down. I'd just spoiled his hunt, and he was
angry.
  <Jake, listen to me! Stop this, now!>
  His lips pulled back over his teeth. His eyes were empty. They were so
animal, nothing like my Jake.
  That's because he was no longer Jake.
  He paced towards me, and instinctively, I withdrew from the bigger wolf.
He was the hunter now, and I was in between him and his game. An
enraged growl rumbled through his fierce jaws.
  <Jake, it's me, Seth. Don't you remember?>
  I started cycling through memories of all our times together, reminding
him of the human inside him. They disappeared, all of them, sucked into
the blankness of the wolf's animal mind.
  <You're a human, Jake! Come on, remember! Think of Embry, Quil,
Sam, Jared, Paul... Billy? Rachel, Rebecca? ...Bella?> I recalled their
faces clearly in my mind as I said each name, <You've gotta fight it,
Jake!>
    His restlessness, his irritation with me, grew. He was sizing me up
now, not that he needed to. If it came down to a fight, I knew I would
lose. I couldn't bring myself to hurt Jake, human or not. And I guess if
this was how I was going to die, I would rather it be at Jake's hands than
anyone else's.
  Resigned to my fate, there was no need to stay as a wolf anymore. No
need to protect myself. It was my last hope, the only remaining way I
could think of to remind him of his humanity.
  I phased.
  Without fur, I immediately felt the sting of the cold. Snow struck my
skin and was instantly turned to tiny droplets of water by its heat. I
looked Jake straight in the eyes, and took a step towards him.
  "Please, Jake, just make it quick," I whispered, and squinted my eyes
shut.
  Nothing.
  Then, slowly, there was a low sound, one of confusion more than rage.
Maybe it was the cold, but the air seemed to shimmer, to shift.
  I cautiously opened my eyes.

  There he stood, strong and resolute as the trees. His muscled shoulders
squared, his strong, wide chest rising and falling with each breath. His
hair had grown long and untidy. When he stumbled towards me, he
moved with an unfamiliar clumsiness. But he was the man I loved.
  "Jake!" I cried.
  He reached out with one trembling hand, and I touched his fingers just
as he fell to his knees in the snow. I was immediately crouched at his
side. Guess he wasn't used to human legs after all these months as a
wolf.
  Carefully, I laid him out on his back. The snow was already melting
where he stood; his body temperature was so high. He was shuddering,
though, and I pulled him close for warmth. His naked skin on mine, my
fingers digging into his back, our steam-laden breaths mingling, he tried
to make sense of this moment. There was still emptiness in his eyes,
which were unfocussed and glazed, like he was still in another world.
Then, with fingers that were awkward from being out of practice, he
grasped at the carved wooden medallion that hung from my neck. A smile
of recognition seemed to shift the planes of his face. He blinked once,
twice, with eyes that were gradually brightening.
  An uncontrolled, hysterical laugh escaped me. All the fear, all the
tension that had built in my chest fell away at the sight of him. I was just
happy to be here, holding Jake in my arms again. With warm tears
running down my cheeks, I reached out with fingers that were frozen
numb, and wiped away the frost building on his eyebrows.
  Then his lips moved in a feeble attempt to say something. His teeth
started to chatter. It was strange, the cold had never gotten to him before,
but it was affecting him now. I pressed my body tightly to his, buried my
face in his neck, anything to pass what warmth I had to him.
  When he finally stopped shivering, he managed to stammer out
something indecipherable. I looked at him, puzzled.
  He cleared his throat, and tried again.
  "I think I just imprinted on you."

JACOB BLACK

  They told me that Seth carried me, semi-conscious, back to the Rez in
wolf-form. He couldn't run with me on his back, so he walked down that
mountain, step by laborious step; the rest of that day and all through the
night. It was not until sometime the next day that they found us. Seth
was exhausted from carrying me, but still, he shook his head at them,
and nudged them away when they tried to come close. He wanted to
carry me the whole way back to La Push himself. Quil and Embry took
his flanks. Leah followed behind, and Jared, Paul and Sam lead the way.
Like a procession for a soldier returning home from war, they carried me
to the outskirts of town, near Sam's house. Emily came running when
she saw the pack. Back in their human forms, Embry and Sam had lifted
me from Seth's back and half-carried, half-dragged my limp body into the
house.

  The drifting of voices all around me seemed to blur into a sound that
was now so unfamiliar that I had to strain to understand them. I was so
out of touch with the whole 'human' thing. I'd been slipping in and out
of dreams, my world phasing from comforting fire to scorching ice; from
the sounds of a dozen hushed, tense whispers to the jubilant cries of
celebration. Each time I came to, just for a moment, I searched for him.
And each time the world went dark again before I could find him. Was his
voice, his touch, his scent all a dream? The two boys, struggling with my
bulk, heaved me onto the couch.
  "Where's Seth?" I asked urgently, tugging at Embry's arm.
  "He's gone to the wedding," someone replied.
  Not A wedding. THE wedding. There was no question of whose. An old
pain rose in my chest, but it felt dulled this time, like the memory of a
bone I had broken so long ago I could hardly remember.
  I pushed my way out of Sam and Embry's grasp. Jared and Paul tensed
instinctively, ready to bring me down if need be.
  "I'm going," I said.
  "The fuck you are!" Embry yelled. "Look at you, Jake! You can hardly
stand up. No way are we letting you go to that leech-fest. How're you
gonna defend yourself if something goes wrong?"
  "Yeah, man," Jared chipped in, "you look like shit. You should just rest
up."
  "I'm. Going." I growled at them.
  They didn't have a choice. They couldn't stop me, and they knew that.
Nothing could separate a werewolf from his imprint. It was a bond
stronger than brotherhood, stronger than an Alpha's orders. And I felt it
now, coursing through entire anxious, twitching body, this NEED to see
him. The feeling that the world was in black and white and on mute if he
wasn't by my side.
  Jared knew this. So did Quil and Sam. They could either help me or get
out of my way. They didn't really have a choice. Quil went to my house to
fetch some clothes. Sam lent a hand with getting me cleaned up, even
though my control over my human appendages was already improving
quickly. By the time Quil returned, I had enough dexterity back to be
able to cut my long, messy hair. It was only with rusty old kitchen
shears, in front of Sam's bathroom mirror, so it was still a mess, but at
least it was more presentable.

  The three of us stood in the woods, less than a hundred yards from the
party taking place in the clearing just beyond. Quil dropped the
backpack he'd been carrying in his jaws.
  <You sure you wanna do this?> he asked.
  Edward would know we were nearby. He was probably already listening
to us. I couldn't turn back now.
  <Yeah,> I said, <totally sure.>
  I phased back to human, and started pulling out the contents of the
backpack and putting them on. I didn't really have anything to wear to a
wedding... My one pair of good black jeans. A clean, white button-up
shirt. The black tie that I saved for occasions like these. A pair of scuffed
up black shoes. As if the whole two-legs thing wasn't weird enough, I had
to add clothes to it. This was all just too bizarre. I didn't expect it to feel
weird, returning to life as a human, but somehow, I had almost felt more
comfortable as a wolf.

  Then, like the sun rising through the trees, Seth appeared at the edge of
the party. He drifted towards our little group, Sam and Quil, who had
stayed wolf, and me. His hands were buried in his pockets. As he got
closer, he broke into a brilliant white grin that was no doubt a reflection
of mine.
  "Hey there, Jake," he said. "You look good."
  I pulled him into an embrace, completely forgetting where I was, or why
I was here. Everything was alright now; I could've left with Seth right
then without a second thought.
  "Come on," Seth murmured, lifting his face from my chest, "there's
someone over there who really wants to see you."
  I looked over at the crowd. Amongst the guests, an old man in a
wheelchair and a black-haired woman with a stern, wary face stood out.
Billy and Sue.
  "Do they know I'm here?" I asked him.
  "Quil told us you were coming. He got to your house just as we were
about to leave," he said.
  "So Bella's expecting me then?"
  "No-one's said anything to her yet. I told them I'd come in here and
check with you first. But Edward's just waiting for the word from me."
  My jaw tightened at that name.
  "Come on, Jake. None of that shit matters anymore, right? Just you and
me." He pushed his fingers through mine.
  "Just you and me," I agreed.
  We started off in the direction of the party, the darkness giving way to
the bright lights.
  Seth's forehead was creased, he was thinking very hard. Giving Edward
"the word", no doubt.
  "Seth?" I said, interrupting his concentration.
  "Yeah?"
  "When we talk to Bella, after we're done with all the congrats and
everything, I mean... Can I tell her you're my boyfriend?"
  He smiled at me.
  "Sure, sure."

  I looked up to see the couple twirling away from the dance floor. The
man in a black tuxedo, looking too graceful for real life; the woman in a
flowing white dress that only accentuated her natural clumsiness. He
turned her to face us, and her look of confusion only grew. Seth started
to hang back, letting me have this moment, but I squeezed his hand
tight, and tugged him along with me. The last thing I wanted to do was to
let go of him.
  If I was going to do this, I was only doing it with the boy who was now
my destiny standing solidly by my side.