Date: Mon, 19 May 1997 21:50:50 +1000
From: Quantum <quantum@hotmail.com>
Subject: Hercules - The Legendery Journeys
Hercules - The Legendary Journeys
---------------------------------
****************************************************************************
NB. All characters are copyright the creators/owners of the Hercules series.
I'm just borrowing them for this little escapade. End of disclaimer!
****************************************************************************
"The Games Gods Play" - Part 1
------------------------------
Another damsel in distress rescued, another town saved, another adventure
completed. In other words, situation normal. Hercules and his sidekick
Iolaus, their work done, strolled off into the sunset to meet whatever fate
was to be meted out to them.
To the untrained eye, they appeared to be a most unusual pair. Hercules,
the taller of the two, was a half-god (by virtue of his father, Zeus),
which was certainly reflected in his stature. He stood 6'5", with dirty
blond should length hair adorning his head. Hercules was built as a god as
well, with bulging arms and a taut chest, which was shown off by his
jerkin. His face was handsome and it tended to show his emotions quite
clearly. The merest thought of an injustice being performed would cause
Hercules' features to draw into an angry visage; enough to deter any would
be villain.
The second man, Iolaus, was completely human, but had an interesting
lineage of his own. Part of his previous catalogue of adventures included a
stint as "king for a day" (filling in the part of King of Attica for his
cousin, who was somewhat indisposed at the time). Iolaus was built as a
warrior too, but on a smaller scale than his travelling companion. Standing
at just under 6', Iolaus had curly blond hair, with piercing blue eyes. If
he wasn't hanging around Hercules all the time, he would have indeed be
considered a hunk in his own right.
The luscious surroundings of the Athenian countryside (which looked
disturbingly like the New Zealand countryside, but that's another story)
were tinged with the red of the sinking sun.
"Hey Herc, did you ever notice how Greece bears a striking resemblance to
New Zealand?" mused Iolaus.
The half-god turned to the short man with a bemused look on his
face. "What's New Zealand?"
"A country in the Southern Hemisphere, which we haven't discovered yet..."
Iolaus tailed off.
Hercules grinned. "I think that gargoyle gave your head a harder whack than
I thought."
This caused Iolaus to scowl. He replied "Yeah, it's a shame my head's not
as thick as yours to shield the blow!"
With a laugh, Hercules swiped good naturedly at Iolaus, who easily dodged
the blow.
"Getting a bit slow there, old man!" chuckled Iolaus.
The pair continued into the sunset.
---
Another place, another world, in fact...
Three incredibly attractive women were having a discussion. Actually,
there's two things that should be cleared up. Firstly, they weren't really
women (they were Goddesses), and secondly, they weren't just having an
inconsequential conversation, they were plotting.
And what's more, they were all relatives of our half-God hero.
The three conspirators comprised Aphrodite (Goddess of Love), Athena
(Goddess of Wisdom) and Artemis (the sporty one of the trio).
All were complete stunners and would have easily outshone any mortal woman
in the beauty stakes. And in their areas of expertise, they again
outclassed most mortals.
Aphrodite was not a happy little Goddess.
"Dammit sisters, we have to do *something* to bring that half-brother of
ours into line!" she muttered, with a very pretty frown on her face.
Athena looked amused. "So our beauty-pageant winner just wasn't smart
enough to pull off her little ploy, hmmm?"
Aphrodite gave Athena a very dirty look indeed. "Can it, braniac."
"Well sorr-ee! We can't all be blonde bimbos with huge tits and no brains!"
Athena shot back.
"Sisters, sisters, PLEASE! We have some serious plotting to do. Let's leave
the petty bickering to the mortals, shall we?" suggested Artemis.
Artemis, the designated mediator, physically placed herself between her two
warring siblings.
"Now, we need to come up with a way to completely humiliate Hercules and
that brat sidekick of his. Any suggestions?" she continued.
Athena posed in the classic "thinker" form; you could almost see her
neurones snapping.
Aphrodite closed her eyes and caused wrinkles to appear on her
forehead. You could HEAR her (ill-used) neurones snapping.
Artemis just sat back and let her sisters do the hard yards.
Suddenly, Artemis sat bolt upright. "Hey, I've just had an idea. You wanna
go to the Olympics and perve on the athletes?"
Aphrodite looked disdainfully at her sister and said "Is that ALL you have
on your mind? Sport, sport, sport..."
Athena, meanwhile, had had another thought. "Hey girls, listen to this. I
just thought of a sport we all can enjoy. And it fulfils the plan we were
MEANT to be thinking of!"
Aphrodite and Artemis looked rather interested.
"Do tell..." said Artemis.
"Well, it goes something like this..." said Athena, as she began detailing
her Machiavellian machinations to her siblings in crime.
---
Meanwhile, our erstwhile heroes were contemplating where to set up camp for
the night. Being on the move as much as they were, they had not the luxury
of bricks and mortar to shield them from the elements. Fortunately, Iolaus
spotted a solution.
Pointing towards a nearby hill, he said "Look Herc, a cave!"
Hercules gaze turned towards where his companion indicated. "Excellent, it
looks like we might need shelter tonight. I think Thor's going to be
hammering soon..." [ED: Please excuse the mixed mythology!]
"I'll head up and scope out the cave; why don't you get us something to
eat?" Hercules suggested.
"Oh great, Iolaus the slave. Sure thing, master. Can I roll out the red
carpet for you too?"
"No, that won't be necessary. You can peel my grapes and feed them to me
though."
"The only thing I'll feed you is my fist!" retaliated Iolaus.
Hercules laughed. "OK, OK, settle down. I'll get us breakfast tomorrow
morning. Fair enough?"
Iolaus appeared somewhat mollified. "That's better", he said.
The two temporarily parted ways; Hercules up the mountain, and Iolaus into
the surrounding foliage.
---
Iolaus strolled through the trees, his gaze occasionally landing on likely
targets for supper. Birds flew overhead, sounding their plaintive
song. Every now and then, a scuffle could be heard in the bushes as a
woodland creature scuttled away from the human intruder.
A few minutes into his search, Iolaus came across a somewhat unusual
discovery. Sitting upon a flat rock was a bottle with the label "Drink Me".
"How dumb do they think people are," muttered Iolaus, "that anyone should
just find a bottle like that and drink it because is SAYS so?"
He picked up the bottle and examined it. It was exceptional for its
complete lack of unusualness (apart from, of course, it being left out in
the middle of nowhere).
Suddenly, Iolaus felt a strange compulsion to open the bottle and drink its
contents. He frowned, and attempted to put the bottle back where he found
it. Alas, the urge was too strong. He removed the cork and downed the
liquid inside.
Iolaus froze, his face unblinking. The bottle slowly dematerialised from
his grasp, leaving no sign that it had ever existed.
He remained thus for a few minutes. Then, he slowly came back to life,
shaking his head and muttering to himself.
"Errr... what happened? Iolaus, snap out of it! Quit daydreaming and get on
with more important things... like finding food!" he scolded himself.
And that's exactly what he did.
---
Iolaus entered the cave just as the sun finally sank over the edge of the
world, plunging all into darkness. The light of the fire that Hercules had
built, though, illuminated the cave.
Triumphantly, Iolaus dumped his quarry onto the floor; two rabbits and two
game birds.
"Sheesh, not only did I think you got lost, you also forgot how to
hunt. You ARE having a bad day, my friend!" Hercules joked.
"There's nothing wrong with my hunting ability, Herc... I just thought you
should be going on a diet!" Iolaus riposted, as he aimed a punch towards
his friend's well-built stomach.
"Hey, settle down... I wouldn't dare insult the prowess of the Great
Hunter!" replied Hercules meekly.
They prepared the food and set it cooking over the fire. While waiting for
their dinner to be ready, they discussed their plans for the morrow.
"So what're we doing next? Where's our next Truth and Glory Quest?" Iolaus
flippantly wondered.
"I was thinking of taking a break from the 'hero thing' for a few
days... and maybe paying a visit to see how Iphicles is coming along with
his new Kingdom." Hercules suggested.
Iolaus agreed. "Not a bad idea. We also haven't seen Alcamene and Jason for
a while, it'll be good to catch up."
"Yeah, I think the world can look after itself for a few days," chuckled
Hercules, "and anyway, the union rules clearly state I should get time off
every 5 years."
Iolaus joined in the laughter.
"Anyway, looks like I was wrong about the rain before; those clouds seem to
have cleared up..."
They continued in this vein until their food was cooked. After eating their
meal, the pair bedded down for the night.
---
The full moon reached the zenith on its nightly passage across the
sky. Silver beams of moonlight filtered in through the entrance of the
cave, mingling with the few remaining embers of the fire to produce an
ethereal glow. Hercules and Iolaus lay unmoving in a deep sleep.
Iolaus stirred for a few seconds then went rigid. His eyelids flew open but
his stare was of a person who was hypnotised or not fully aware.
His head turned towards his sleeping companion, and his gaze raked up and
down Hercules' body, finally coming to rest on the half-God's
crotch. Hercules' pants seem to be quite well filled indeed.
With great stealth, Iolaus crept towards the sleeping deity. He reached his
goal. Stretching out his right hand, he carefully stroked the groin of his
friend. Hercules' crotch, which until then had been a shapeless and lumpy
region, began to harden as his cock filled with blood. In a matter of
seconds Hercules' cock was clearly visible beneath his leather pants.
Iolaus licked his lips.
Hercules' stirred in his sleep, muttered a little, but remained in a deep
slumber.
The head of the giant's cock was straining against the top of his pants. It
seemed as if it was attempting to break through the leather constraints.
Iolaus decided to give it a little assistance by loosening Hercules' belt
and unfastening the catch. It was all the demi-God's manhood needed to
break through to the moonlit surroundings.
As if in a trance (as surely he was), Iolaus gazed down at the 8 inches of
superhuman flesh that lay before him. He knew what to do. Slowly, his head
moved towards the rock hard tool. Iolaus' mouth opened to accept his
prize...
The feeling of his friends' penis in his mouth was an incredible experience
to the novice Iolaus (who had never done such a thing before). But in the
throws of his hypnagogic state, many things indeed were to happening, with
the first of the possibilities beginning to unfold.
He began to work his way down the shaft, savouring every inch. The thought
that Hercules might awake and catch him at his task never entered his
mind. Such was the care that Iolaus was taking, though, that Hercules would
be unlikely to be waken. However, it appeared as if Iolaus' ministrations
were not altogether lost on the sleeping giant, as a quiet moan escaped his
lips every now and then.
Iolaus proceeded with his task with great vigour. He had worked into an up-
and-down rhythm, alternately totally engulfing the 8 inches of manmeat, and
releasing it again with a faint "plop" as Hercules' cocked passed his lips.
So it proceeded for a few minutes, with Iolaus' tempo gradually increasing.
Iolaus suddenly felt his friends' cock become even harder in his mouth and
he instinctually knew he was about to cum. Wanting to capture all of the
superhero sperm in his mouth, he withdrew slightly until Herc's cockhead
rested in his mouth.
He had not long to wait, for within second Herc's ejaculation began. Spurt
after spurt of rich, thick cream entered Iolaus' waiting mouth. Success!
Hercules, who had been letting out the occasional moan up till this point,
celebrated his orgasm with an almighty grunt.
Unable to cope with the flow, cum could be seen leaking from Iolaus
mouth. Swallowing as fast as he could, he managed to capture most of it...
But still the giant slept on.
Hercules' orgasm ebbed into obscurity and the spurts of cum leaving his
cock slowed to a dribble. Iolaus consumed the remainder of his prize and
set about cleaning his face and his friends' softening manhood.
All of a sudden, Iolaus froze. His face, which had been an expressionless
mask, filled with the emotions of an awake and sentient being. The first
emotion to register on his visage was one of surprise ("What the hell...?")
then one of shock ("What the HELL???")
Unable to deal with the flow of sensory input, Iolaus nearly retreated back
to his state of semi-catatonia. Fortunately, his sense of situation forced
him to act.
His first action was to clean up "the scene of the crime". Glancing at his
sleeping friend, and thanking the Gods he was still asleep, Iolaus returned
Hercules to his pre-orgasmic state (clothing wise!). He then crept back to
his place beside the fire and attempted to remember what had just happen.
To his distress, he found he had no recollection of the last few minutes.
Also unbeknownst to Iolaus was that Hercules was not quite as asleep as he
thought him to be...
"The Games Gods Play" - Part 2
------------------------------
Another place, another world...
Aphrodite threw back her head with laughter and clapped her hands
together. Her radiant face clearly reflected her satisfaction at what had
just happened.
"Oh, this is all too EASY!" she cried.
Artemis congratulated her sister: "Well done, Aph. I never though you were
going to pull that one off. I mean, a bottle with "Drink Me" on it? That's
just so corny..."
"Yeah, but it worked didn't it? That Iolaus mortal doesn't strike me as the
brainy type," said Aphrodite.
"Takes one to know one," Athena muttered under her breath.
The sisters all had smiles on their faces showing their approval at the
turn of events that had befallen our heroic duo. Athena, though, looked
somewhat thoughtful as well.
"We're not done yet though, girls," she said, "Hercie-boy missed out on the
show. I think we can do *much* better than that."
Artemis and Aphrodite nodded their heads in agreement and bent their minds
towards the next phase of their dastardly plot.
"Wait... I think I've got it!" exclaimed Artemis.
Her two siblings turned towards her in anticipation.
"Well? Spill it sister!" said Athena, somewhat doubting the ability of the
muscle-brained Goddess to have anything approaching a cognitive though.
Artemis, recognising her sister's sceptiscm, maintained a coy grin.
"You'll just have to wait and see. As they say, let the Games begin..."
---
It was Hercules' favourite time of the day; the few minutes before the dawn
broke. He liked it because everything was quiet and still, giving him time
to think and to come to grips with the coming day. Being the seasoned
warrior, he always woke before dawn (just in time to enjoy this period) and
today was no exception.
Hercules had a faint smile on his face as some slightly less than wholesome
thoughts ran through his head. He recalled a dream that he'd had the night
before. A rather realistic dream, actually. It involved something that he'd
not had done to him in a long time (too long, he thought regretfully), but
the sensation he'd felt at the climax of the dream (excuse the pun) felt as
good as he last remembered it. Better, in fact.
He shook his head and chastised himself.
"Herc, focus! Remember what I promised myself!" he thought sternly.
His thoughts turned to sadder memories as he recalled his wife, Deianeira,
and his children...
The sun chose this moment to make its first appearance for the day. The
associated symbolism - a new life, a new start - was not lost on our hero.
Hercules glanced over the remains of the fire to see if his companion was
awake, but Iolaus still lay in a deep slumber.
"Typical... nothing short of the Titans could get Iolaus to wake up before
sunrise!" thought Hercules. "Oh well, it'll give me time to deliver on my
promise of breakfast."
And with that, Hercules stood and stretched. He ambled towards the mouth of
the cave and down the slope into the forest below.
---
Hercules wandered through the picturesque forest for 10 minutes or so,
simply enjoying the peaceful serenity of the early morning. He never ceased
to be impressed by the show that nature put on; the leafy green foliage,
the flowers in bloom, the wispy clouds blowing overhead.
"I don't think anything could spoil this morning..." Hercules said to
himself.
Suddenly, the peace was broken. 5 bandits stormed out of the surrounding
bushes, surrounding the demigod.
"But then again..." he said.
"Hercules! Prepare to die!" said the leader of the brigand.
Hercules grinned. "How original. Do you guys all use the same script writer
or something?"
The bandits, bereft of a sense of humour, proceeded to attack in an orderly
fashion. Hercules went into action.
As one bandit leaped towards our hero, brandishing a sword, Hercules leapt
into the air. The bandit fell through the now-empty space and landed face
first on the earth. Hercules landed gracefully on both feet in a
battle-ready position.
"Next!" he said.
Two bandits on either side prepared to rush Hercules. They charged, holding
their swords menacingly before them.
A split second before they reached our hero, Hercules ducked and executed a
roll. The two bandits collided and knocked each other senseless.
"Is that REALLY the best you can do?" Hercules laughed.
Before rising to his feet once more, he picked up one of the swords of the
fallen bandits. One of the remaining mercenaries rushed towards Hercules,
keeping a careful watch for any tricks.
The sword fight began. Thrust, parry, and block. Duck, weave, and thrust
once more. Unlike the previous combat, swordplay was reasonably mechanical
as there were rules and procedures to be followed.
Bandits don't follow the rules.
The leader, somewhat ruffled by the unfortunate turn of events so far,
decided to take matters into his own hands. He crept slowly toward the
duelling pair, holding his cudgel at the ready.
Hercules, his attention focussed on the swordplay, had his back to the
leader and was seemingly unaware of his approach.
The leader raised his cudgel into the air, held it for a split second, and
then sent it crashing down.
At the same time, the remaining bandit executed a particularly nasty thrust
towards Hercules, one that he was not in a position to block.
Hercules feinted towards one side.
The leaders cudgel hit his subordinate. The bandits sword skewered his
leader. End result: two more bandits down.
Hercules surveyed the wreckage around him, noting that all his would be
assassins were unconscious. "Nice of them to help out with my morning
work-out" he thought. "Now what was I doing again...? Oh that's right,
breakfast."
He set about his task.
---
It was later in the morning when Hercules and his sidekick continued their
journey. They were walking along the forest path, and Hercules related his
run-in with the inept bandits earlier that day.
"A battle? And I wasn't there to help out??" exclaimed Iolaus.
"I'd hardly call it a battle. It was more like... well... a disagreement."
"Ha! What you'd call a disagreement, most others would consider a battle of
epic proportions."
"OK OK... a mild disagreement then. Nothing to write home about," said the
giant.
"Yeah, but you still got to have all the fun. Let me know the next time,
all right?"
"Sure thing, Iolaus. I'll get my enemies to give advance warning of all
surprise attacks just so you're not excluded."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it!" grumbled Iolaus.
Hercules looked at his friend. "Are you OK Iolaus? You seem a
bit... distracted this morning. Get up on the wrong side of bed?"
Iolaus flinched slightly as the thoughts of what had gone on the previous
night played in his mind. Hercules was unaware of what happened, and he'd
never do it again. Right? Iolaus valued his friendship with Hercules and
would do nothing to endanger it. Plus, he went for woman. Didn't he?
Iolaus' mental turmoil did not escape the notice of Hercules, who wisely
chose to say nothing. Hercules could see that something was bothering his
friend and knew that Iolaus would talk to him about it if he felt the need.
"Well Herc... this isn't easy for me to say... I'm not really sure myself,
but..." Iolaus started.
And was rudely interrupted by a loud crashing noise and the emergence of 5
slightly battered mercenaries from the surrounding bushland.
Iolaus and Hercules whirled to face the intruders.
"Remember how you wanted to me to tell you the next time I had a slight
disagreement?" Hercules asked Iolaus. "Well, I'm just about to continue the
discussion."
The soldiers grinned and brandished their weapons menacingly.
Hercules grinned in return. "Don't you guys EVER give up?"
Their leader spoke: "Nice to see you again, Hercules. Our last meeting was
so pleasant I decided to bring a few friends along this time."
Hercules looked at Iolaus with a puzzled look on his face. "There ARE only
five of them, right?"
An even larger crash came from the ever-present bushland. Many more
brigands emerged from their hiding places and brandished their weapons as
menacingly as their previously emerged soldier brethren.
"Errr... no." Iolaus replied.
---
A dark, dank cell, so typical of the dungeons that our heroes so frequently
found themselves in. Was it fate (or budget constraints?) that meant they
continually ended up in amazingly similar looking prisons? Who knows. All
that was certain was that an even more unpleasant fate was in store for
Iolaus and Hercules if they didn't escape their current predicament.
What happened next was due in no part whatsoever to fate, unless the whims
of an emotionally unstable Goddess could be deemed as such. Of course, mere
mortals are subject to the whimsy of supernaturally empowered beings.
Iolaus, as you will doubtlessly recall, was a mortal.
And subject to immortal whims he most definitely was.
Both warriors lay unconscious on the cold floor of the stereotypical
dungeon. Overwhelmed by the immense odds of the battle they had fought a
few hours previously, they had been removed to their current location by
the mercenaries.
Iolaus began to stir and emerge from the state of unawareness forced upon
him by the evil soldiers. He groaned and forced his eyes to open.
"Where... where am I?" he said, the words being muffled by his dry mouth.
He looked around and took in his surroundings. The memory of the battle
came flooding back, and he surmised (correctly) that he and his companion
were in a jail. Iolaus also guessed that it was only a matter of time
before the boss of the mercenaries came down to gloat, boast, tell his plan
to ruling the world, then threaten to do away with the pair if they didn't
help him.
Experience had taught Iolaus that megalomaniacs have about as much
character variation as the dungeons they inevitably found themselves in.
What to do about their current situation though. Escape was most definitely
on the cards as he didn't really want to listen to another "Master Plan For
Taking Over The World." His survey of the cell had revealed several
definite possibilities. The most promising proved to be a window located
about 2 meters up in the east-facing wall.
Iolaus got up and walked over to the window. He crouched down slightly,
then leapt into the air. Grasping the edge of the window, he pulled himself
up so as he could get an idea of what lay outside.
It seemed as if the cell they were in was not subterranean at all; the
window was at least 60 feet above the ground. A very rocky, solid ground at
that. No ready escape route at all.
"Curses!" Iolaus said. He let himself fall back to the floor.
It was then that he noticed his unconscious companion lying on the floor.
"Hercules!" he muttered, and moved swiftly towards his friend.
Iolaus scanned the unconscious demigod for any obvious injuries. Apart from
the usual scrapes and cuts that inevitably resulted from battle, and an
extremely nasty lump on Hercules' head where a mercenary had caught him
unawares with a cudgel, he was unharmed.
Iolaus then attempted to wake Hercules. He gently shook his friend from
side to side, and shouted "Herc, wake up! Come on, we gotta get out of this
place! Wake up!"
But he didn't manage to pierce the demigods' catatonia.
This did nothing for Iolaus' calm and he became more concerned. He looked
at his companions' face and wondered what he was going to do.
Iolaus froze.
Much as before, it was as if a curtain had descended over the Grecian's
face as all emotion drained away, leaving an expressionless mask. However,
unlike before, this lasted for only a few seconds. Iolaus' face began to
reanimate and his body came back to life.
He had one thought in his mind, and he carried it out without considering
another.
Iolaus thrust his face towards Hercules' and planted his lips on those of
the sleeping demigod. Hercules lips parted as Iolaus forced his tongue into
his mouth, intensifying what was already an extraordinarily passionate
kiss.
Iolaus held Hercules' face firmly in his hands as he continued the kiss. He
didn't analyse his actions at all; his only thoughts were about how sexy
his friend was, and why the hell he hadn't done this before!
Hercules opened his eyes, to see Iolaus at a VERY close proximity. Iolaus
saw that Hercules had awoken, and broke off his kiss.
"What the...???" Hercules said. "/Iolaus/???"
Suddenly, there was a sharp clanking noise from the eastern side of the
room. Both warriors automatically looked over to see what it was. A rope,
with a grappling hook on the end, had found its way through the window. The
hook began to scrape against the floor as the rope tightened. It travelled
up the wall and finally lodged against the rim of the windows.
"What just happened? What IS happening?" asked Hercules, looking very
confused.
Iolaus stood there looking rather stunned himself.
"Um... well..." he stammered.
"Come on, you haven't got much time! Get out of there!" said a face at the
window.
Iolaus looked somewhat relieved at being 'saved by the bell'.
"You heard the man, let's get out of here!"
They hurried towards the window, towards freedom, away from imprisonment.
But not away from each other and what had just transpired...
"The Games Gods Play" - Part 3
------------------------------
| Special Guest Stars This Episode: |
| Questor: Christopher Lambert (about 10 years ago - think Highlander) |
| Adventus: Pick you favourite tall, lanky, blond-haired, blue eyes character! |
Artemis looked incredibly annoyed (an emotion which was becoming rather
familiar to the Goddess lately). Herc and Iolaus had been rescued by an as
yet unknown (to you, the reader!) party, which had totally ruined the
perfect opportunity she had set up. And after all the trouble she'd gone to
to round up those roughish soldiers.
Still, she had no one but herself to blame. While her plan had been in it's
preparatory stages in the cell, she'd been off perving at the Olympic
athletes (as she'd suggested to her siblings before) and not making sure
that her nefarious scheme could be consummated. So to speak.
Not only did she NOT get to see what she wanted to see (in the way of Herc
and Iolaus... expressing... their friendship), she now faced the dismal
prospect of humiliation at the hands of her sisters. She'd promised action
and failed to deliver.
"This will not do. This will not do AT ALL!" she thought angrily.
It became obvious to her that a little more planning was required. Some
more thought given to situation and opportunity could help ensure that the
next time paid off in the way of results.
She had to be sure that it would work. How to guarantee the outcome
though...
Artemis snapped her fingers and a little light globe illuminated over her
head. (WARNING: ANACHRONISM ALERT!)
"Practise makes perfect..." she thought, "and not only do I make sure of
the main event, I get to sit in on the rehearsals..."
The sporty one rubbed her hands in anticipation and developed a positively
evil look on her face.
"On with stage one... divide and conquer..."
---
A couple of minutes away from the castle of the bandits, safely ensconced
by the dense forest, Hercules turned towards his rescuer.
"Thanks for the rescue. Not to be paranoid or anything, but how did you
know we needed rescuing?"
Hercules addressed his question to their saviour, a solidly built male, in
his early 30s, about 6 feet tall. He had shoulder length black hair framing
his ruggedly handsome face. Their rescuer had the look of one who engaged
frequently in physical labour, most likely a hunter or farmer of some
sort. Considering the skill shown in executing their rescue, Hercules
estimated he was most likely a hunter.
"Well, you were in the Rapscallion Gang's cell. And you weren't part of the
gang. Anyone who's not Gang and in the cells is likely to need a rescue."
Hercules wasn't sure if his rescuer was being cagey or not, but it was
obvious that he had his own agenda. Time to take another tack.
"Fair enough. Well, who do we have to thank for the timeliness of our
rescue?"
"The name's Questor," said Questor.
At that point, another person unknown to Hercules and Iolaus came into
view, dropping out of the trees from above. The new arrival was a few years
younger than Questor but slightly taller. He was lean-and-tough in his
appearance as well, with long dirty blond hair, and deep set dark blue
eyes.
"And that's Adventus," he continued.
"Well... Questor, Adventus, thanks for the rescue," said Hercules. "If you
two don't mind, Iolaus and I will be on our way..."
Hercules and Iolaus prepared to continue on their way to Attica. As they
started to leave, Adventus stopped them.
"Wait! Hercules, we came to find you because we need your help. Our village
is under siege by King Agrippa and his armies," Adventus blurted out.
Questor glared at Adventus, who looked suitably bashful now. Evidently
things were not meant to be as direct as that.
"Er.. Yeah, Adventus is right. We were on our way to find you when we saw
you attacked by the bandits. There were too many of them to make a direct
attack so we bode our time until we saw an opportunity. Fortunately, they
don't seem to be well too organised and their patrols are woefully
insufficient," explained Questor.
Hercules looked thoughtful. "OK, that explains how you found us, but what
about Agrippa? I thought I'd already taught him the error of his warring
ways."
Questor shot a stern look in Adventus' direction. Adventus remained silent
and allowed Questor to continue with his explanation.
"It's been pretty quiet for the last three years, but Agrippa recently got
a new adviser who seems somewhat more aggressive than his
predecessor. Creosote, our village, is the nearest to his Kingdom, and we
have reason to believe he wishes to annex us."
Hercules looked at Iolaus.
"Well whaddya think?" he asked of his companion.
Iolaus, who had not been paying full attention to proceedings, said,
"Oh... yeah, sounds good to me. Let's go!"
Iolaus was still preoccupied with his and Hercules' encounter in the cell
(which he did remember in full!) and was grateful for any opportunity to
postpone a most embarrassing conversation.
Hercules seemed satisfied with this result and indicated to the others that
they should start off towards Creosote.
Adventus and Questor took the lead as the adventurers commenced their
journey. Iolaus and Hercules ambled along a few meters behind the
villagers. Hercules decided to take this opportunity to raise
an... issue... that had been playing on the back of his mind.
"Iolaus, it's going to take a while to get to Creosote, so I thought I'd
take this opportunity to raise an... issue... that's been playing on the
back of my mind."
Iolaus had a wary look on his face. "Err... sure Herc. What's up?"
Hercules looked uncomfortable, but continued: "Well... remember when we
were back in the cell?"
Iolaus began to answer, but had his second "lucky break of the day".
A shout was heard from the two villagers leading our heroic duo. Iolaus and
Hercules looked towards them to see what was happening.
A ball of light, somewhat like a large wisp, was heading towards Questor
and Adventus at high speed. They made to dodge out of its way, but only
Adventus was successful. Questor was engulfed by the ethereal phenomenon in
the blink of an eye.
The wisps' work was not yet done, as it swerved towards Hercules and
Iolaus. Both made to avoid it, but only one was successful. Hercules found
himself sprawled on the earth as Adventus was a few seconds before.
Iolaus was nowhere to be seen.
Hercules and Adventus climbed to their feet and tried to make sense of the
situation.
"What... what was that? Questor! Where are you???" shouted a near-frantic
Adventus. "That wasn't meant to happen!"
A bright feminine laugh could be heard in the forest glen, its source
undetermined. The laugh faded away after a few seconds. Silence returned.
Hercules recognised that laugh.
"Artemis!" he growled. "What stupid game are you playing now?"
There was no response.
Hercules decided to deal with his half-sister when he was better appraised
of what had just happened. In the meanwhile, he had another avenue to
explore.
"Adventus? Care to explain?" said the demigod in a deceptively calm voice.
Adventus fairly quivered before the restrained rage before him. Without
Questor's support, he had no willpower left. However, he still had the
sense of survival to protect his own skin.
"I don't know! That thing took Questor too!" he cried.
Hercules looked very sceptical and more than a little angry.
"OK, I believe you. But tell me something; what makes you think they were
taken and not destroyed?"
Adventus squirmed, his eyes flicking from side to side. "Errr... maybe they
were destroyed? I don't know!!"
Hercules narrowed his eyes and took a step towards the quailing
villager. "Then why did you say before `that wasn't meant to happen!'?"
Adventus was positively panicking now. He looked like a trapped animal,
desperate for an exit. Adventus didn't like his odds of physical escape so
he took the next best option.
He fainted.
---
Meanwhile...
Two solidly built figures lay unconscious on the ground of rather unusual
surroundings. The ground was conventional enough, the typical grassy
covering that one most often saw on meadows, but everything else was
atypical. The meadow appeared to be bordered by ethereal white light (much
like a mist) and the "sky", as it were, was tendrils of bright yellow.
Supernatural forces were at play indeed, to execute this transfer to this
heavenly body.
Another heavenly body appeared in the form of Aphrodite.
"Like, totally radical! It worked!" she exclaimed.
Aphrodite had had her doubts as to whether Artemis could pull of this whole
thing of separating Herc and Iolaus, but even she was impressed at the
results. Getting the moon-wisps to capture Iolaus and Questor was a clever
move indeed. Well, not THAT clever, but you have to remember that Aphrodite
was known for her beauty and NOT her intelligence.
At any rate, she had only one task to complete to help this plan work.
The Goddess extended one arm and pointed it toward the two men laying on
the ground. A brief pulse of light left her fingers and temporarily
engulfed the sleeping warriors.
"Come on boys, time to play!" she yelled, and promptly disappeared.
Questor and Iolaus stirred from their dreamless sleep and stumbled to their
feet. They spent a few seconds gaining their bearings and examining the
strange new world they found themselves in, then noticed each other.
It took but a second for them to lock together in a deep, physical embrace.
(ED: Gratuitous sex scene alert!)
The two were connected on a primal level only; there was nothing spiritual
about this encounter (unless you included the being that brought them
together). Iolaus and Questor held each other with all the strength they
could muster, with their mouths firmly locked together in a passionate
kiss. Their tongues wrestled together in an attempt to gain dominance.
Their embrace waned and the two studs spent the next few seconds in an
attempt to break the disrobing record. Clothes were shucked at an alarming
rate and the entire process took not long at all (considering both parties
were only lightly clothed anyway!).
Iolaus gazed at Questor appraisingly and, in his 'influenced' state, liked
what he saw. Although only a pale imitation of his friend Hercules, Questor
was no slouch in the "stud-and-total-hunk-of-a-man" department,
representing the quintessential Greek warrior/athlete of the time.
Questor was further under the influence than Iolaus; hence he saw only the
possibilities for sexual gratification that Iolaus represented. With this
thought firmly in mind, he advanced on the smaller man and pounced.
Iolaus, ready for such a move, did not dodge the lunge but decided to roll
with it. He grasped Questor firmly as he lunged toward him and pulled him
down to the ground.
The next few minutes was occupied by much rolling about and mashing
together of naked flesh. Neither man was able to gain the upper hand; both,
however, showed signs that they were really getting into the wrestling
match. Their... errr... weapons of war were fully extended and ready for
action. And action was what they were going to get!
Meanwhile...
---
Whilst the "Nude Wrestling Championship" was being conducted in a place
unknown (to the protagonists and antagonists), another scene was unfolding.
Hercules, deciding that inaction was the best course of action until he
figured out what in Hades was going on, was sitting around the
campfire. Adventus still lay on the ground in his self-imposed
catatonia. The demigod did not think it likely that the villager could
offer any further useful information to track down his missing friend so he
made no effort to rouse him.
Gazing thoughtfully at the dusk sky, Hercules attempted to piece together
in his mind the salient information. All he knew for certain was that
divine intervention seemed to be the cause of the strange disappearance,
but he had no idea of what his half-sisters' possible motivation could be.
Hercules did not hold great hopes for determining these motives in the near
future. Better than anyone, he knew that the Gods behaved in ways not
immediately obvious to mortals, or even half-mortals. More often than not
earthly inhabitants were treated as pawns in some cosmic chess match,
merely for the amusement of bored deities.
Putting the immediate puzzle on the mental backburner, he turned his
thoughts to other matters concerning his best friend. Hercules found
Iolaus' recent actions vaguely confusing, but what he found to be even more
confusing was his own reaction. Instead, and this was the perplexing thing,
Hercules didn't mind the closer contact his friend initiated. Indeed, he
felt it valid way of expressing the feeling Herc harboured toward his
lifelong buddy.
Of course, it in no way came close to the deep-seated love he had, and
still yet, felt for his dear wife, Deianeira. The mere thought of her sent
his train of thought hurtling back towards the happy family existence he
had before his "hero days". To be with his wife and his children, just one
more time, was a wish he desired with every fibre of being. The existence
of being a father and husband, a member of a family. Ties to people and
places. The things he was denied by his current existence.
A stirring noise on the ground beside him ricoched him back to
reality. Hercules glanced down to catch the source of the noise. He was
nearly bowled over by the shock of what he saw.
Sprawled on the ground was a beautiful woman with flowing dark hair.
It was Deianeira, his wife.
"The Games Gods Play" - Part 4
------------------------------
Hercules reached towards his wife, confusion playing over his features. A
million questions passed through his mind.
Time froze. (Footnote 1)
(Note to the reader: What follows is a bit of indulgent silliness. If you
don't want an explanation of why Herc is drooling over Deianeira rather
than Serena, his more recent wife, skip to "Time started again". Otherwise,
on with the crossover!)
A strange whirring and grinding noise came out of nowhere, adding to the
even stranger situation already taking place. About 10 feet from Hercules
and Deianeira an apparition began to form. A few seconds later it resolved
itself into the shape of a blue box.
The noise stopped. About 2 or 3 minutes passed. Then the door on the front
of the box opened and two people emerged - a man and a woman.
The man was of indeterminate age, short, and was wearing a paisley suit and
fedora hat. His eyes were dark and deep; they seemed to hold many secrets.
The woman was in stark contrast to her companion. She was in her early
twenties with mouse-brown hair and a leather bomber jacket covered in
patches.
Both observed the scene in from of them in silence. Finally, the woman
spoke.
"Looks like you were right, Professor. It happened just the way that you
said. I still don't understand why Hercules is seeing Deianeira, and not
Serena."
The Professor turned towards her to answer.
"Elementary, my dear Ace. Those not versed in quantum mechanics would
certainly be lead to that conclusion... However, you do remember the little
temporal escapade upon which our muscled-bound friend there and that thief
fellow went on a while ago?"
"You mean when Autolycus stole the Chronos stone? Sure."
"Well, the point of that little exercise is that the timeline was altered
and Serena never met and married Hercules."
"Ahhh... but didn't Hercules remember what happened?"
"Only up to a point. Hercules had full recall of the adventure and his
"alternate life" upon return to his own timeline. But Time has her own way
of sorting our these little discrepancies..."
Ace looked thoughtful. She had first hand experience in how Time was not a
linear experience and could appreciate the complexity of the Demigod's
experience.
The Doctor continued: "There's also the Blinovitch limitation effect to
consider. When Autolycus met "himself", that is, his predecessor, temporal
energy amassed at the focal point - the Autolyci. It was subsequently
released when he returned to his own time. This aided the resettling
process of the time stream."
"Hey Professor, this is all well and good, but what does it MEAN?"
The Doctor sighed. The younger generation always wanted everything
NOW. "Simple. Hercules never met Serena. He has no memory of the time they
spent together in the old timeline. Things are as they should be. Now let's
go!"
Ace rolled her eyes and followed the Doctor back into the TARDIS. They
left.
Time started again.
Hercules' continued reaching toward his sleeping wife. He laid his hand
gently on her cheek, feeling the tender skin that he had not been able to
feel for such a long time. Deianeira slept on.
He desperately needed to speak to her, to find out what had happened. Why
was she here and not in the Elysian fields?
Hercules gently shook his sleeping wife and said in a low voice "Deianeira,
wake up. It's me..."
The sleeping woman's eyelids fluttered open. Her eyes focussed on the face
above her. Recognition dawned. "Hercules!"
She sat bolt upright, then allowed herself to be drawn into the hero's
embrace. They held each other for a while, not saying a word. Finally, they
released their hug.
"Deianeira... how... why...? I mean, it's SO good to see you, but
shouldn't... aren't..."
Deianeira looked at her husband with a confused look on her face. "Herc, I
don't understand it myself. One minute I'm in the Elysian fields, the
next... well..."
"It doesn't matter. I'm so glad to have you back!"
With that, he moved to draw Deianeira close to him again. Her face turned
towards his and they entered into a deep and healing kiss. Memories came
flooding back as Hercules recalled their lives together, before they were
seperated by Hera.
They broke the kiss and sat silently, gazing into each other's eyes.
Deianeira broke the silence.
"Hercules... I... I'm grateful to have this chance to be with you once
more. I thought that after Serena..."
Hercules looked confused. "Serena? Deianeira, you're the only one I've ever
loved."
Deianeira looked momentarily confused then resumed her previous poise. "Of
course, my love. I know that. I'm still a little thrown by what's happened,
is all..."
But it was too late. Hercules had already started to think. Serena... the
name sounded so damn familiar. Why couldn't he remember anything about her?
Serena... Another thought associated itself with the name. Ares. Hercules
became angry as he recalled his brother and his warring ways. But the base
question remained... Who was Serena?
Suddenly in a rush of recall it all came flooding back. Serena. Golden
Hind. Married. Murdered.
Followed in rapid succession by another stream of memories... the Chronos
Stone... travelling back in time with Autolycus... giving Serena another
chance at life.
"SERENA!!!" Hercules cried.
He swung round and pointed an accusing finger at the woman he thought his
wife.
"Nobody except for Autolycus, myself and the Gods should know about
Serena. It all changed!"
"Hercules... what are you saying? Of course I'm your wife! How could you
doubt such a thing? I love you!"
"My wife... wives... are in the Elysian Fields. You're not Deianeira. WHO
ARE YOU?"
'Deianeira' cast her eyes towards the ground. She spoke "Well, I guess
you're just too smart for little old me, Herc."
The woman's exterior fell away like a discarded snakeskin. A lanky man was
revealed beneath. Hercules recognised him immediately.
"It's YOU!"
"Yep! I'm back!"
"I should've known... where there's trouble, there's Strife. And where's
there's Strife, there's Ares. Where is he?"
"Hey, how should I know? I just work here..."
"Liar!" Hercules grasped the scrawny God by his neck and shook him
violently..
"Where's Iolaus? That bastard Ares had better not have laid a hand on
him..."
"I thought YOU were that bastard?"
Hercules ignored the cheap shot at his parentage.
"Anyway... I can assure you that Ares is doing MUCH more than laying hands
on the mortal."
With that, Strife discharged a bolt of power from his body, which threw
Hercules backwards. He landed on the ground with an ungainly thump.
"I'm sure you'll find him soon enough, Hercules. Ta ta!"
And Strife promptly disappeared.
---
Ignorant of what had just transpired, Iolaus and 'Questor' were busy
putting on their own mini version of the Olympics. And in the grand Greek
tradition they didn't bother with such nuisances as clothes.
'Questor' (or, as you readers now know who he really is, Ares) ground his
naked form against the blonde warrior and groaned in pure pleasure.
"Oh..." he moaned, "you can't imagine how I've waited for this moment,
mortal!"
This pulled Iolaus out of his erotic trance.
"Hey, what's this about calling me a mortal? And we only just met!" he
exclaimed indignantly.
"Silence! You're mine now!" proclaimed the man Iolaus thought to be a
simple hunter, like himself.
Questor's form fluxed and pulsed, focussing itself into the familiar,
darkly attractive form of Ares, the God of War.
"Come on, Iolaus. I know you want it," he arrogantly said.
Iolaus was indignant and furiously replied "How would you know what I
wanted??"
Ares threw back his head and laughed.
"Oh, I know alright! I've seen the way you look at my brother. You're
wasting your time if you think he'll ever come round to your way of
thinking."
Iolaus was stunned. Ares had dared articulate the thoughts he kept deep
within his soul. And now they were in the open, he was forced to at least
acknowledge them. But this did not mean Ares was right about the rest.
"What I do is my business. Let me go, Ares," Iolaus said.
"You seemed eager enough a minute ago..."
"You brought me here against my will and forced yourself upon me. Let me go
or prepare to defend yourself!"
Ares smiled at the mortal's foolish bravery. He knew that Iolaus had no
chance against the might of a God. And the struggle would only make his
satisfaction all the greater.
"Come on, mortal. Let's play"
Iolaus backed away in a battle-ready stance.
---
Hercules pulled himself to his feet and shouted a few words most
unbefitting of a superhero. He stomped angrily around, muttering dark
threats about what he would like to do to Strife, mainly involving the
permanent removal of several extremities. Eventually he calmed
down. Calmness brought clarity of thought and another piece of the puzzle.
"Aphrodite!" Hercules yelled to the Heavens, "Get your butt down here NOW!"
A sparkling aura materialised in front of Herc, which resolved itself into
the sparkling form of Aphrodite.
"Hey, chill out bro! What's the prob?" said Aphrodite in her blase manner.
"You know damn well what the problem is! Where's Iolaus?"
"Iolaus? Oh yeah, you mean that cute mortal with the blond hair and blue
eyes."
"So where is he?"
"Like, how am I meant to know? I'm beautiful, not omnipotent"
"Aphrodite... I'm not in the mood for your stupid games. Where is he??"
"OK, OK, no need to blow a gasket! We just borrowed him for the afternoon."
"You BORROWED him?"
"Yeah, no biggie. Like, I think he's enjoying it."
"Enjoying what? And why is he with Ares?"
"Ares? Iolaus ain't with Ares, sweetcheecks. Just with another mortal
playmate."
"A mortal who happens to be Ares in disguise!"
"No way!"
"Way! Now get him back here NOW!"
"No can do, Hercie-boy. The game's gotta be played first."
"Aphrodite, I recommend you find a way. Or..."
"Or what?"
"Or I'll tell Zeus that you skipped curfew last week."
"You WOULDN'T!"
"I would!"
"No fair! It wasn't my fault I was late; I had so many supplicants to deal
with... Anyway, it wasn't me. Artemis did it."
"I don't care WHO did it. Bring him back NOW! Or..." Hercules let the
threat hang in the air.
Aphrodite sighed and looked contrite. "OK, you win. Consider it done."
The Love Goddess snapped her fingers. A startled naked mortal fell out of
the sky and landed with a resounding CRASH on the soft earth.
"And remember Herc, this is just between you and me, OK? Seeya!"
Aphrodite was surrounded with sparkles, then she was gone.
Iolaus shook his head and wildly looked around. He spotted Hercules.
"Herc! What... I mean... how...?"
Hercules looked at his friend.
"Iolaus, uh... aren't you a little cold?"
Iolaus looked down. Then looked up and started to blush. Hercules looked
equally embarrassed.
"Um... I'll be right back."
---
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 5 OF "THE GAMES GODS PLAY"
Footnote 1: In case you didn't guess, this is a blatant Doctor Who
crossover. I didn't originally intend to do this. However, because it's
taken me so long (SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!) to get this far, and because
Australia is behind the US in screenings, we didn't get the "Serena
Trilogy" until after I had written Part III. At that point, I had a
discontinuity on my hands. It was nicely resolved by the Chronos Stone
escapade, though. :) And as I love using artistic license (and I'm
self-indulgent) I used the Doctor's explanation as a plot
mechanism. ANYWAY, you probably didn't care about that, so I'll stop now!
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* Comments, flames, and "You Can't Write, You Idiot!!" emails to: *
* quantum@hotmail.com *
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