Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:09:30 -0400
From: Nate <jesseandnate@gmail.com>
Subject: Jesse and Nate Chapter 12

This story is a work of fiction. I do not claim to know Jesse McCartney
(although I wish I did ;-D), nor do I know about his sexual preference
(ditto). This story will contain some sexual content, and is about a
relationship between two men. If this offends you, then I suggest you use
that handy close button on your window. If it's illegal for you to be
reading this, well then you shouldn't be here either, but you probably
already knew that :-P.

And again, big thanks to Kyle, Ty and Wes, and (a new addition) Becky (yes
guys, a girl :-o) for proofreading and critiquing the chapters!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesse and Nate: Chapter 12

"Visitors for Kirsten Robinson? Kirsten Robinson?"

I looked up and saw a nurse holding a clipboard.  I elbowed Kyle, waking
him up and startling him, looking at me. I glanced at the nurse, so he
nodded, stretched, and got up, with me closely following him.

"You're here visiting Kirsten Robinson?" she asked, looking at us.

"Yeah," I said, nodding tiredly. It had been five hours since Kirsten was
taken to prep for surgery, during which we tried and failed to read,
drifted in and out of sleep, drank coffee, ate some breakfast that Kyle got
from the cafeteria, drank some more coffee, and just stared into space,
wondering how Kirsten was doing.

"Good," the nurse said, starting to walk with us trailing behind her. "You
can come with me. She's in the recovery room right now, so you can come and
visit her for fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, the rules are that the
patient is only allowed one visitor by the bedside at a time, and the visit
is for a total of fifteen minutes, so you'll have to divide them up between
yourselves. Also, if you have any questions, you can ask her nurse. Oh, and
please turn off your cell phones, the're not allowed to be on in the
recovery room." She sounded like she's said it a thousand times, which, I
realized, she probably has.

"Is she awake?" I asked.

"Yes, I believe so. She is most likely still pretty groggy, so it would be
best to not try to engage her in too much conversation."

"Okay, no problem," I replied. Kyle just nodded.

We got to a pair of double doors. "You'll have to put these on," the nurse
said, handing us hospital gowns, "and Purell your hands," she pointed to a
dispenser on the wall. As we did so, she asked, "So who's going in first?"

"You can go in first," I told Kyle. "No, it's fine, go ahead," I said in
response to his questioning look. I realized that he hadn't said anything
at all since the nurse called us, and had a scared look on his face.

I looked at him concernedly, but he just shook his head and said, "Its ok,
I'll be ok." He took a deep breath and followed the nurse into the recovery
room. She gave me a backwards glance and said, "You can wait out here,"
then turned back.

"No problem," I said softly, even thought she couldn't hear me and wasn't
even paying attention. After five or six minutes of waiting, watching
doctors and nurses go in and out of the room, Kyle came back out with the
nurse. At least he didn't look terrified anymore.

"She's alright," he said. "Pretty groggy, didn't really talk much. Weird
for her, I know," he gave a weak grin. "Just...be ready to see her with all
these tubes and stuff... it's a little scary."

"Okay," I said

I took a deep breath and followed the nurse to Kirsten's bed.

And it was scary. She had tubes coming out of her arms leading to an IV,
one coming out from under her blanket leading to a jar collecting what
looked like blood, which I assumed was normal oozing from the operation,
and another one leading to a bag, which was filling with urine. There were
wires coming from under her gown leading to an EKG machine. And she looked
really pale and tired, with dark circles under her eyes, her hair all
stringy. I just couldn't believe Kirsten was lying in a hospital bed like
this, so close to...to death.

She looked up at me and smiled slightly. "Hey, Nate, how's it hanging?"

I gave her a little grin. "Not bad, how's by you?"

"Oh you know, same ol'. Nothin too special."

I gave her another forced grin. "Ok, but really, how are you? How are you
feeling? Can I get you anything?"

"Nah, I'm alright. A little tired. And these pain killers are working
wonders. Look, I even have a little button to up the dosage if I need," she
said, pulling up a little button in her right hand. "I feel anything, I
just give this a push and I'm a happy camper again. Speaking of which," she
winced slightly, and gave the button a push. I heard one of the machines by
her bed whir a little. "That's better," she sighed. She didn't speak for a
little while, letting the drugs do their thing. "So, how are you? How's
Jesse?" she finally said.

"I'm ok, and I'm assuming he's ok, I haven't spoken to him at all..."

"Oh, okay. I'm sure he's fine."

"Yeah," I replied as she yawned. "Okay, I should get going before the
nurses chase me out, so you get your beauty rest, not that you need it, and
I'll talk to you later. I think there's a visiting time in a few hours, if
you're up."

"Okay, that sounds good," she replied, already starting to close her
eyes. "Thanks, Nate."

"No problem," I replied, and walked to the exit.

						* * *

Kyle wasn't outside the recovery room when I got out, so I assumed he went
back to the waiting room or the bathroom or something. I sighed, turned my
phone back on, and it immediately started ringing. ÔGood timing,' I
thought. I saw it was my mom calling.

"Hey Mom." I started walking back to the waiting room.

"Hi sweetie, how's it going?"

"Okay."

"Well," she said, probably noticing in my voice that I didn't feel like a
long conversation, "I just wanted to check up on how Kirsten's doing."

"She looks pretty good, considering, she's out of surgery. I just saw her
in the recovery room."

"Oh that's great! How is she?"

"She looks good," I repeated, "in some pain, and tired."

"Well that's to expected."

"Yeah."

"And how are you doing?" she asked as I turned the corner into the waiting
room.

"I'm doing..." I froze.

"Nate? Nate, are you there?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, Mom. I'm good, I gotta go, bye."

"Um, Okay, Natey, bye. Gimme a call later, love you."

"Love you too, bye."

I couldn't believe my eyes. Standing there, talking to Kyle, was Jesse. My
Jesse. Jesse McCartney. The one who's supposed to be in California. I think
I mentioned that I couldn't believe it.

Kyle signaled him, and he turned around. Tears immediately sprang to my
eyes when I saw him facing me. I put the back of my hand to my mouth to
hold them back. He walked up to me and gave me a hug, and I squeezed him as
tight and as long as I dared, knowing we were in public and some of the
girls around the room probably already recognized him despite his glasses
and low hat.

We released, and I just stared at him. "What... what are you doing here?"

"Oh come on, like I'd let you just sit here depressed!"

"But what about your recording and stuff?"

"Eh, I told em I'm taking a few days off, they can do mixing and stuff
while I'm gone, anyway."

"Well, jeez Jess, I dunno what to say... thanks!" I exclaimed.

"No prob, Nate, really." He turned to Kyle, who was watching us the entire
time, I realized, making me slightly uncomfortable. "So, where's Brian? I
was kinda hoping to meet him," he smiled a little slyly.

"He had two tests today, so he's gonna be coming by a little later," Kyle
told him.

"Oh man, that sucks," Jesse replied, "and you see, that's why I'm glad I
don't gotta do college."

"Yeah," Kyle chuckled, "but wouldn't it be a little hard to explain to him
how we all know each other? Especially considering that," he stopped,
coughed a little, looking around, then continued quieter, "especially
considering that he knows that Nate's dating a Jesse?"

"Well, do you trust him?"

"Well, yeah."

"So what's the problem?"

"Well c'mon, Jesse," I said, "isn't it still better to be cautious? I mean,
he could always slip up and tell a friend who wouldn't mind making a quick
buck from People magazine or something." We've had discussions like this a
million times, him trying to be more carefree with his sexuality, me
telling him that he really had to think about how it could affect him and
his career.

He obviously didn't care. "Nate, I'm sure it'll be okay, we'll just tell
him he has to be really careful. Besides, most gay or bi guys are pretty
good at keeping secrets. They had to keep their own, after all."

"Okay," I said, conceding that I have to pick my battles, "fair enough,"
and I gave him a smile. After all, very few people he knows know he's bi,
so he probably could use more people to talk to being completely himself.

"Thanks Natey," Jesse said, smiling back. "So Kyle," he said, turning to
him, "how can I get some embarrassing stories Ôbout you outta this guy?"

"Uh uh, no way in hell you even trying that, man!" Kyle laughed. I was
watching them talk back and forth, but all I was really thinking about was
how much I wanted to just go and find a private couch somewhere and snuggle
with Jesse, letting him hold me in his arms and just comfort me. I still
couldn't believe that he was here, it was a little overwhelming, so much
that my eyes were tearing up thinking about it.

I think Kyle noticed, because he glanced at me and said, "Well, I'm gonna
go and find something to eat, assuming that they actually have some edible
food in the cafeteria. You guys want anything?"

"No thanks," I said, "but hospital cafeteria food is actually usually
pretty good!"

"Yeah? Okay, cool, now I better not be disappointed, or it'll be on your
head. You coulda lemme be pleasantly surprised, but nooo, you had to get my
hopes up, didn'cha?!

"Yeah, you know, I'm good like that, getting hopes up just in time to get
them dashed to shreds."

He rolled his eyes at me, then turned to Jesse. "You want anything, Jess?"

"Hmmm..." he said, thinking, "actually, yeah, if they have any of those
jumbo chocolate chip cookies, I'll take one of those."

"You know what," I said, "make that two." I could never turn down a
chocolate chip cookie, they're one of my weaknesses.

"You got it, but I think I'ma eat down there, so it'll be a little while."

"No prob," I told him, "just call me when you come back so we know to
expect you." Yeah, that was basically a giveaway for what we were doing,
but whatever, he had to have known.

"K, sounds good," he said, and left.

I turned to Jesse, "So, you wanna go and find somewhere a little more
private?"

"More than anything."

* * *

We found a little waiting room that didn't look like it was being used, so
we closed the door and put a chair in front of it so that we wouldn't be
disturbed. We weren't gonna do anything (that would be a little hard to
cover up, Jesse McCartney being caught having sex with a guy), but we just
wanted privacy so we could at least hold each other and cuddle without
having to worry too much. Worse comes to worse, we could have just quickly
jumped apart if someone came to the door.

Jesse led me to one of the corners of the room, then sat down against the
wall and pulled me down so that I was leaning against his chest, him
running his hands through my curls, twisting them gently around his
fingers, like he likes to do. "Mmmm," I said, closing my eyes, "this is
what I really needed all day."

"Yeahhhh," he replied, rubbing my abs slightly.

We lay like that for five or ten minutes, then I asked, "So how long have
you been planning on coming out here?"

"Pretty much as soon as you left, and especially when you called and told
me that Kirst needed to have the operation."

"Awwww, Jess! And you just told your recording guys that you were coming
out here and they couldn't do anything about it?"

"Pretty much." I could hear the smile he had on his face. "Were you
surprised?"

"You kidding me? Course I was!" I exclaimed, and turned my face up to his
to give him a kiss. It started to get a little more passionate when my
phone started ringing. "Of course," I sighed. I picked it up. "Hey
Ky... okay, cool, thanks, we'll meet you there," and hung up. "That was
Kyle," I told Jesse, "he's heading back to the waiting room, and he's got
our cookies." Who'd have thought I'd be sad that someone was coming back
with cookies with me.

"Man, I never thought I'd be upset to hear someone was bringing me a
cookie," Jesse said.

I chuckled, "I was thinking that exact same thing!"

"We are too good."

"Almost, almost too good." I sighed, then pulled myself up, and turned
around to pull up Jesse, and, after he made sure he put his hat and
sunglasses back on, we headed back to the waiting room.

					  	* * *

We got back to the waiting room and saw Kyle there sitting with
Brian. "Look who I found," Kyle said when he saw us. Fortunately the
visiting time to the recovery room was coming up, so it was rather loud and
busy in there, so no one was paying attention to us or what we were saying.

"Hey Brian," I said, giving him a handshake.

"Hey man, how you doing?"

"I'm ok, you?"

"Ok, just a sucky situation."

"Yeahhh." I replied. I never know how to respond to things like that, so I
was actually glad I had a way to change topics. "So, Brian, I wanna
introduce you to someone. This here, in the flesh, is the mysterious
Jesse," I told him, putting my hand on Jesse's shoulder.

"Hey man!" Brian said, shaking hand, "it's seriously about time we met,
I've been hearing about you for ages but knew practically nothing about
you. Just basically that you exist."

"Nice to meet you too, man," Jesse replied.

Then the now familiar look of slight recognition came over Brian's
face. "Wait a sec, do I know you from somewhere? Wait a second, aren't you
Jesse..." he said, getting louder.

"Shhhh," Kyle said, glancing around, "keep your voice down!"

"Wait, so you are?" he asked quietly, looking at all three of us wide
eyed. He gave the look that I used to find funny, but was now getting a
little tired of. I could only imagine how Jesse felt about it. "You're
Jesse McCartney? THE Jesse McCartney? The singer?"

"Yup, that would be me."

"Whoa...damn, Ky, why didn't you tell me?" Kyle gave him a look. "Well,
okay, fine, I guess I understand, but still... damn! This is a little
nuts!"

"Yeah," I replied with a smile, "but you know, the less people that know,
the better. It's not that we didn't trust you or anything, it's just that
we didn't want to take the chance that anyone would slip up, so we only
told a few people."

"Okay, no problem, but don't worry man, I got you, you don't gotta worry
about me slipping up or anything," Brian said.

"Yeah we know, thanks Brian," I said.

"Yeah, thanks," Jesse added.

"No prob, guys."

We all sat down, chatting about various topics. Brian was trying to keep
himself as composed as possible with Jesse, which was understandably a bit
tough. He was doing a pretty good job of it, keeping up the conversation,
but every so often I caught him just staring at Jesse with an awed look on
his face. I guess he's not quite as cool as he lets on, I thought with a
bit of a smirk.

After a while, Dr. Mason came in to talk to us. We got up to meet her. "Hi
Nate, hi Kyle," she said, and nodded at Jesse and Brian. "I'm sorry it took
so long for me to come out to talk to you, I had another procedure right
after Kirsten's that I had to get to."

"That's alright," I said, hearing Kyle say "No problem" at the same time.

"Well, it was a success, I'd say. There weren't any complications or
anything of that sort. We're still running some tests on the biopsy, but it
looks like we got all of the tumor. We froze her eggs, like I told you, so
she'll at least have the option to have someone surrogate for her. Now,
we're going to give her a few days to recover, and then we're going to
start her chemotherapy. I've already gone in to discuss this with Kirsten,
but considering that many people don't remember everything that happens in
the recovery room, I'll be sure talk to her about it again tomorrow."

"Okay, I see," Kyle said, while I nodded.

"Great, so do you have any questions?"

"Um, yeah, I have one," I said. "How long is she going to have to be on
chemo for?"

 "Right now we're going to have her on for a week to two weeks, depending
on how she's doing. Then we'll run a few more tests and see how she does."

"Okay, I see. And when will she be starting?"

"Well it all depends on how fast she recovers. She's young, in good health,
and exercises regularly, which are all good signs for a speedier
recovery. It will most likely be at least a week or two, though."

"Okay, thanks," I replied.

"Your welcome. Now if there aren't any more questions," she said, looking
around at us while we shook our heads, "then I have to go and check on
other patients. I'll be sure to check on Kirsten later, and tomorrow, and
if any of you have any questions, you can always just call my office and
leave a message with my secretaries, and I'll be sure to get back to you as
soon as I can." and she said goodbye and left.

We all went into visit Kirsten during the visiting time, which was the last
one of the day. She was still pretty out of it. It scared me, but I guess
it was better than being in pain. I spoke to her nurse to find out when she
was going to be transferred to a room, and she said that it probably wasn't
going to happen until that night, after visiting hours were over, so we
could just go home. Kyle and I gave them our phone numbers, in case they
had to reach us, we kissed Kirsten goodbye, telling her we'd see her when
we visit the next day, and left.

None of us said anything as we walked away from the hospital all the way to
where we had to split up. There wasn't much to say, after all. We all
hugged goodbye, Brian hugging Jesse for a little longer than what would be
considered normal, and then Kyle and Brian walked in the direction of
Kyle's building. I noticed him holding Brian's hand, leaning his head
against his shoulder as they walked away, and a feeling of jealousy and
sadness swept over me, that I couldn't do the same thing with Jesse, that I
couldn't shouw any affection in public for fear that someone might notice
and ruin his career. No matter how much I needed it.

Jesse must have noticed some of the emotion on my face, because he gave me
a concerned, questioning look. I just shook my head, and gave him a half
smile. "I'm fine," I lied, trying to get rid of those bad feelings, "I'm
just thinking about Kirsten."

"No prob, Nate, it's a tough situation. You're amazing for putting up with
it as well as your are."

"Thanks Jess, and thanks for coming in. It's really amazing of you."

"Of course!" We smiled at each other, and walked back to my place, not
exactly content with the situation, but happy that the man I love was with
me.

					* * *

When we got to my apartment, I noticed Jesse didn't have a bag. "Didn't you
bring any clothes?"

"Nah, I didn't have enough time to pack before the flight, and I just
figured I could always borrow some clothes from you.

"Oh you did, did you?"

"Mhm," he replied, flashing that adorable grin of his that makes my knees
turn to jelly.

"C'mere," I said, pulling him toward me, planting my lips on his. I quickly
made it more intense, pushing my tongue into his mouth, moving it all over
it, rubbing my hands down his back to his butt. Jesse began to respond,
moving his tongue to massage mine with it, the pulled away.

"Nate, are you sure you wanna do this? I mean, after today, I don't know, I
figured you'd want to just relax, maybe cuddle a bit, you know?"

"Yes, Jesse," I replied in almost a pleading tone, "I'm sure. I need
this. I just... I just can't think about any of that stuff anymore, I need
to escape it," and I started kissing him again.

"Ok," I heard Jesse murmur into my lips. I grinned and began pushing him
towards my bedroom, never letting my lips leave his unless it was to kiss
around his face or neck.

I pulled his shirt off and kissed his shoulders as he unbuttoned my shirt
and threw it on the floor. He started kissing my neck and shoulders,
shoving his tongue into the crook of my neck, pushing me onto the bed and
going on top of me. He began kissing down my chest, stopping to suck on and
nibble on each nipple, then moved down my abs to my navel and shoving his
tongue into it, making me moan and my toes curl. He licked and kissed as he
unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pulling them down along with my
boxer-briefs, setting my rapidly hardening cock free.

He licked and kissed his way up it, getting to the head and licking all
around it and into the slit like it was candy. Then he took it into his
mouth, sucking hard and sending tingles throughout my body. He just sucked
on the head for a few moments before slowly taking the entire shaft into
his mouth, and then he began bobbing his head up and down, moving his
tongue over my entire dick even while it was in his mouth, and it was
driving me crazy. I looked down, seeing the passion in his face and the
intensity in his eyes when he glanced up into mine, then closed my eyes and
let my head fall back, becoming engulfed in the feelings flowing through
our bodies.

After a few minutes I felt his mouth leave my cock and heard him open up
the drawer in my nightstand. I opened my eyes and saw him pull out one of
the condoms I kept there (just in case, of course, and begin to unwrap it,
looking at my pulsing dick.

"Uh uh," I said, pulling him up. "It's your turn to try on this thing."

"You sure?" he asked, looking surprised.

"Yup," and I pulled him on to the bed and turned over him. I needed this,
to be held, to completely give in to him, to not have to think about
anything other than the feelings Jesse put through me. I tried not to let
it show, but it must have come through on my face, because Jesse got a
softer look on his and quickly went along with it.

I pulled down his loose jeans and boxer briefs (Scooby-doo ones, I noticed
with a smile, with Scooby-doo's muzzle right at the crotch), and proceeded
to intensely suck on his hard dick, getting it hard, feeling Jesse's hands
move through my hair, mine massaging up and down his body and legs.  When
he began writhing in pleasure, I pulled off with a slight popping sound as
my lips left his knob and released the suction.

I took the condom, unwrapped it, and slowly rolled it over his length, then
positioned myself over him and lowered slowly down, feeling his fingers
guiding his dick to my hole, and then gasped slightly when it pressed
through and had to concentrate not to shoot my load just from feeling him
enter me.

The look on his face as he pushed into me was indescribable. It was a look
of complete and absolute pleasure, and when he looked into my eyes, it was
with such passion that I have never seen before. He began pumping his hips
up and down. It hurt slightly as first, but that passed quickly, and I
began pushing myself up and down in his rhythm.

I leaned down to Jesse, kissing him passionately on his lips, and then he
pulled himself to kiss me upright, all the while still pumping up and
down. This was nothing like our first time. That was passionate, but still
gentle, partly because it was Jesse's first time. This... this was pure
animalistic, pure eroticism. We kissed furiously for a few moments, then I
grabbed Jesse's shoulders and flipped us around, so that I was under him,
never letting his cock leave my ass, and he shifted his legs to a better
position, lifted mine to his shoulders, and continued to dive in and out of
me. I closed my eyes at the waves of pleasure flowing through my body every
time his dick passed my p-spot. His hand closed around my shaft, and he
proceeded to jerk me in rhythm with his humping.

"Oh, shit," I moaned, "oh Jesse, you're amazing, jeez, unngh, jeez, keep
going!"

"Oh yea," was all he was able to grunt in return. I ran my hands all over
his sweaty chest, his tight abs, his arms, back, anywhere I could reach. I
pulled myself up and pulled his tongue into my mouth, then began sucking on
it, let it go and kissed around his face, then sucked on his tongue some
more. His fucking increased in speed and I couldn't keep myself up anymore,
letting myself fall back onto the mattress, not even able to form words,
just grunting and moaning at the ecstasy running through my veins.

I began squeezing my butt with each thrust of Jesse's hips, making his head
fall back and his eyes roll up in feeling. One of his hands began massaging
my thighs, moving down my hips and abs and back up again. Just a gentle
touch from him was enough to send tingles into my skin, but everything he
was doing was just too much for me to handle anymore. I began muttering,
"Oh Jesse, you're gonna make, oh man, I'm gonna, gonna, JESSE!" and I
splattered shot after shot of cum all over my chest, abs, and even
shoulders, and dribbled some more onto Jesse's hand. This just made Jesse
hump me harder, while bringing his fingers to his mouth and licking up the
seed that was on them.

He kept going, sending more blinding waves of indescribable feeling
shooting from my dick to the rest of my body. Jesse's breathing became more
haggard, his moaning got even louder, and then with a grunt, he pushed all
the way into me, and I felt his dick twitch up and down, emptying his balls
into the condom. With that, he collapsed on top of me, and I felt his
shrinking penis leave my ass, and he kissed me.

"Omigod, Nate, that was... that was incredible. That was amazing!" I just
nodded my agreement and gently kissed him a little more.

I felt him run his fingers through my hair, and I gently rubbed my fingers
over his hand while he held me, happy to have someone to escape reality
with, to comfort me, to just be there, and drifted off to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well guys, after another long delay, you (finally) just finished another
chapter of Jesse and Nate. Bout time, I know, but, as those of you that
talk to me regularly (or as regularly as I can be online anyway) know, life
has surprisingly been able to achieve a new level of hecticness in the past
half-year. I'm hoping that the next chapter comes out sooner rather than
later, though, because I pretty much know exactly what I want to happen in
it, it's just a matter of getting it down. As I've said before, I really do
enjoy writing and it's something I wish I had more time for, even outside
of just the context of this story (that's right, you're actually making me
think about trying my hand at writing an actual novel. Let's just see how
much time, and skill, I have for that lol). I just want to let you all know
how much I appreciate everything you've done for me over the past couple of
years (has it been that long?); you got me to really have confidence in my
writing and all of your tons of excellent feedback (and even the inevitable
clamoring for a new chapter as soon as one comes out) has really been
amazing.  Yes, I know this sounds like I'm building up to say that I'm not
continuing the story, but fear not, I most definitely am. Remember, I said
that I have plans for where I want the story to go, and this isn't the end,
not even close!

Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always, I really
appreciate your feedback, which you can email to JesseandNate@gmail.com or
IM to JesseandNate on AIM. Also, the MSN group's still around, which you
can find at groups.msn.com/JesseandNate. I also want to say I really
appreciate all the feedback I've gotten, and the requests for a new
chapter; like I've said, it's been pretty overwhelming, so thanks for that,
you guys are awesome! (Also, the more you guys email me asking for a new
chapter, the more it gets me to try and squeeze in time for writing
whenever I can, so keep it up!)

As always, thanks for reading!