Date: Sat, 15 Mar 2003 21:54:14 EST
From: Mansonknot41@aol.com
Subject: joel-3

Hey guys. You know the drill. I don't know the true sexuality of Good
Charlotte, blahdy blahdy blah...Especially Joel's. This is a story of pure
fiction - blahdy blahdy blah.LOL- so anyways here is Chapter 3.



Chapter 3


    "You're kidding, right?" Shannon asked me. "He asked you to go and hang
out with him and the guys for a few months - and you said you'd THINK ABOUT
IT?!"
    "Yes," I told her. "I said I would think about it. I didn't want to rush
into a decision like that. I mean I have never officially been away from home
for longer than two days, so if I decide to go then it would be an entirely
new thing for me."
    It was a nice, warm Friday. Shannon and me were at her house in her
bedroom. She was sprawled out on the floor with a pink and white striped
pillow, and I sat on her bed with a stuffed alien in my hands.
    "I would go in a heartbeat," Shannon sighed. "There would be no thinking
about it. Something like that doesn't happen everyday and I sure in the hell
wouldn't pass it up. So think about it. I mean what do you want to do?"
    I sat there in silence. The truth was, the answer was already made. There
was nothing holding me back from going. I did have the whole summer after
graduation to do whatever I want. But the thought of the summer being over
pulled a cloud over my head.
After summer was over, it was back to the big decision, if I hadn't already
made one. I could take one of the jobs at a huge successful newspaper company
and be a local reporter or journalists; publish magazine articles, or I could
go to college. I hated the decisions I had to face. They were all good ones.
Maybe I was afraid that whatever choice I made I would be upset with because
that wasn't the choice I really wanted.
"Let me get back to you on that Shannon," I silently told her. "Right now I
don't know what I want to do."


It seemed everyday that had come and gone had been beautiful ones. I couldn't
remember a day when it had rained in over two months. It got to a point where
I believed that rain did not exist and that there were only beautiful days of
sunshine ahead.
Looking up at the sky, I could see the dark clouds rolling in. The suns rays
were like a light bulb flickering when someone kept turning on and off the
light switch repeatedly second after second. The clouds were blocking most of
the sun and I found it amusing to think that the sun was fighting for one
more day to shine.
"Looks like rain," My father said stepping up beside me. "It's funny how the
weatherman doesn't know shit about accurate weather. They are always off a
day."
"I knew they shouldn't have had the ceremony outdoors," My mother complained
as she stepped up to me and straightened my graduation cap that sat lopsided
on my head. "They always seem to have these things outdoors and I can't seem
to understand why."
"Don't worry about it, Ma," I told her. "Just go find your seats and smile
really big when you see me walk on that stage to receive my diploma."
They gave me a hug and made their way to their seats. I glanced once more up
at the sky. The sun was completely gone now, lost behind the black masses of
evaporated water to shine some other day.
"This is it!"
I turned to find Shannon standing there in her blue and gold cap and gown.
She ran over and gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. As she was
standing back to talk to me, I grabbed her and gave her a tight hug and
kissed her on the cheek as well. It took her by surprise but I didn't think
she really minded.
"Our graduation day is finally here."
"Yeah Shannon, I would say it is."
"Will you sit by me?"
I hesitated. "We have to sit in alphabetical order. Other wise we are going
to be all messed up and tripping over people trying to get to the stage."
"Brent," Shannon said with a bit of annoyance in her voice. "What are they
going to do? Suspend us and not give us our diplomas? Oh, please. You're
sitting by me and that is that."
*                   *                   *
The rain came down really hard all at once right in the middle of the
graduation ceremony. The valedictorian who happened to be Gina, was just
about finished with her speech on change when we all realized that we were
soaked from head to toe in a second flat. Many people began getting up and
grabbing their chairs and I wasn't really sure where they were going. I
didn't care. I thought it was great. Shannon and I laughed as the people on
the stage began slipping on the slick wet, wooden floor. Normally, I wouldn't
have laughed but today was a good day for me and no matter what happened,
nothing was going to ruin it.
"Where are our parents?" Shannon cried over the deafening drops of rain.
"I don't know. Does it matter?!"
"No!"
"Alright then! Lets go tell Gina that she looks great wet!"

"So have you made a decision?" Shannon asked me. We were in my parents' car
on our way home from the graduation. Her and I were soaking the leather
seats, but what could we do?
"About this summer?" I asked knowing that was exactly what she had meant.
"Yeah, I have finally made a decision."
"Great," She said. "So what is it? Are you going or not?"
I smiled a really big smile. "Yep. We are going. I figured this is my last
summer before my life officially begins so why not we make the best of it?"
She nodded her head. "Yeah, I knew you would-" She stopped. "Did you say we?
Who else is going?"
"Shannon, did you honestly think that I would go somewhere without my best
friend? Think again. You're a part of my life too and I want you to be there
with me as much as you and I can be together."
I saw the tears from in her eyes. "You're the greatest guy in the whole
world! If you weren't-you know, I'd marry you!"

I had talked to Joel only once after the first time he called me. It didn't
matter, because Shannon and I were only a couple of minutes from seeing him
and his twin brother Benji, who said they would pick us up from the Miami,
Florida airport. We had flown from the outskirts of New York to Florida,
which was only about two hours, but to us it seemed like an eternity.
"I'm so nervous," Shannon told me. "I mean, how do I act around him?"
"Just act like you would around me. Joel won't mind. Just be yourself."
"I was talking about Benji," Shannon said almost catching me off guard. "When
we were interviewing them at the concert a couple of months back, I couldn't
stop staring at him. I hope he didn't notice."
I laughed. "Oh hell, Shannon. I'm pretty sure he thought you were a
good-looking girl. He is a guy for Christ sakes! You and him will probably
hit it off really good."
"Thanks," Shannon told me. "I love your words of encouragement. Remind me
when I need a good laugh to count on you...you're such a dork."
"You're welcome," I smiled. "Now Shannon, don't hate. You know you couldn't
get on in life without this wonderful dork of a friend of yours."
"Hey!" Shannon suddenly cried. She suddenly began flapping her arms in the
air. "There they are! Hey guys, over here!"
I turned and saw Benji and Joel work there way through the crowded airport
towards us. I felt my hear beat quicken and it was then I noticed that I was
beginning to get nervous. I prayed that it wouldn't show.
"Hey Brent," Joel said as they reached us. "How was your flight?"
He picked up my bags and motioned for me to follow him. Looking over, I saw
Benji had done the same with Shannon's bags.
"It was alright," I answered. "Next time if we fly, we are flying first
class. I almost fell asleep and let me tell you those seats aren't
comfortable."
We followed them outside to the parking lot where their tour bus waited for
us. Another one sat beside it.
"Trust me," Joel suddenly said. "First class isn't that much better, unless
you have it all to yourselves. Otherwise, you are stuck with rich snobby
people who give you looks like they are the only ones that really matter."
I smiled. It seemed he had just stated that to be rich wasn't everything.
What was important was how you acted and treated other people. I hardly knew
him, but I already liked him enough to say that he was considered a friend to
me.
"If you guys didn't know," Benji suddenly spoke. "We are touring with New
Found Glory. The tour has only a month left, but you guys I'm pretty sure
will enjoy yourselves."
As he said that, the second tour bus door opened and out stepped Jordan, the
lead singer of New Found Glory. I recognized his face because Shannon and me
had had a friend who had moved away who was obsessed with the band. And she
had posted pictures of mostly Jordan on her wall.
"Hey Jordan," Benji said as he stepped onto the bus. He seemed to have
trouble carrying Shannon's bags. She had more stuff than I did piled away in
three different luggage cases. I ran over and grabbed one.
"Thanks," He panted. "Why is it that girls must feel they need to bring
everything from their house?"
"I don't know," I answered. "Girls are a complicated mystery. But of course
no one can live without them." We walked in leaving Shannon and Joel to talk
to Jordan.
The bus was nice. I almost dropped Shannon's things as we stepped through the
kitchenette. The area had two tables, two stoves, two TV's, two of
everything. Benji saw my expression that was left permanently on my face.
"The reason why we have two of everything in here," Benji explained. "Is
because our road crew doesn't agree with everything we watch or eat on the
tour. So the deal was they get what they want, and so do we. Come back here,
I'm going to show you our new, improved bunks."
We walked out of the kitchenette through a small brown door into a larger,
brighter part of the bus. I instantly noticed this must have been their
entertainment area. There sat a whole living set (couch, love seat, and comfy
chair,) on the far left of the bus backed against the windows. Over to the
right sat their entertainment center, equipped with a DVD player, VCR,
Playstation2, an XBOX, and a good size TV. The windows behind that had
curtains which were shut only allowing the left side of the bus to provide
it's light. Benji didn't explain to me what the room was used for. It was
obvious.
We walked through another small brown door at the back wall, and into their
sleeping area. Their bunks were a bit larger than I expected and they each
had their own TVs and stuff as well in there. At the back of the aisle there
was a small door. Benji told me that was the bathroom.
"We don't know where you two are going to sleep yet. Would you be comfortable
in the living area?"
"Anyplace is fine with me," I told him. "I can sleep on anything. I'm just
that kind of guy."
"Well," Benji said patting the mattress to the top bunk. "You must have never
slept on our old bunks on our first tour bus? That was a nightmare. Luckily,
we've moved on up."
I gave a little laugh and we walked back through the bus and went outside.
Joel and Shannon were just saying goodbye to Jordan as he got on the bus to
leave.
"Oh Brent," Shannon said when she saw me. "Jordan is the funniest guy. He was
just the most hilarious person I have ever met."
I smiled. "I guess I'm going to meet him later?"
"Yeah, they have to go and do some interviews." Shannon told me,
"Hey," Joel said walking up to me. "You two are in luck. Tonight we don't
have a concert and nothing is really planned. So how about we all do
something fun tonight?"
"Sounds good," I said. "What do you have in mind?"
    "I was thinking of going to that carnival that just opened up near Miami
Beach." Joel smiled. "It's not much but it will give us something to do."
    We all agreed to going to the carnival. Joel and Benji then brought up
some questions asking about Shannon and I. Where we grew up, what were our
plans in the future, stuff like that. I didn't tell them that I had decisions
to make about getting jobs with the newspapers or magazines. I figured I
could talk about it later. I didn't want it to be on my mind for a while.
    "Well its almost five o' clock." Benji said looking at his watch. "We
need to head back to the hotel so you can meet our crew and the band, as well
as get ready for tonight."
    "Who's driving the bus?" Shannon asked. "I didn't see the driver."
    "He's back at the hotel," Joel explained. "Benji insisted on driving us
to the airport."


    The drive to the hotel was a great one. Joel, Shannon and I sat in the
kitchenette and stared out the thick black tinted windows. Joel was pointing
to the many beaches and interesting places as we passed them. He cracked a
few jokes, like making fun of some bald guy in a Speedo that had us rolling
on the floor laughing.
    We also rode up front with Benji and talked to him for a while as he
drove. He was just as funny as Joel. He was telling us what it was like to
grow up with a twin brother and how much trouble they used to get into when
they were younger. I noticed that Shannon had a huge smile on her face the
whole time we were up there with Benji, and my suspicions arose and I
couldn't help smiling. Something was up with Shannon and it had something to
do with our driver.
    But I couldn't really say anything myself. I found myself looking at
Joel. There were a couple of times I could have sworn he was looking at me,
but I found maybe it was my imagination when I turned to find he was looking
at something else.
    We arrived at the hotel finally. It was the biggest building around and I
could tell it was very expensive just looking from the outside. Shannon and I
started to gather some of our things and we were instantly insisted on
leaving them.
    "Just leave them here," Joel told us. "Our crew will get them for you.
Besides, we wouldn't want you to carry those big bags all the way up to your
rooms. You are our guests, so you will be treated like we are."
    Okay," Shannon beamed.
    I rolled my eyes. She was looking right at Benji and hadn't even looked
away once.
    After walking inside and checking in at the front desk in the lobby, we
made our way inside the elevator and descended our way up to the room. We
reached our floor and exited the elevator. Shannon and I walked behind Benji
and Joel for a moment giving me time to talk to her.
    "Stare much?" I asked sarcastically.
    "Huh? What are you talking about?"
    "I'm talking about you and the never ending gaze towards Benji."
    "Whoa," She said holding her hands up in defense. "I do not stare at him.
I don't even know what you are talking about."
    "Yeah Shannon," I told her in a voice that said I didn't believe her.
"Play it off girl. Play it off."
    "Hey," We heard Benji say. "Hurry up you two."
    We caught up with them just as they reached a door. Joel casually knocked
on it, which I found was a little weird. If it was their room, why didn't
they just walk in?
    "We have to knock," Benji explained answering my thoughts. "They keep the
door locked. If fans were to know we were here and found out our room number
they could just walk in. That would be a problem. So we have a special knock
for them to know it is us and let us in."
    "Why don't you just get a key?" Shannon asked.
    Joel laughed. "You kidding? We would end up losing it. We lose
everything. We are lucky we didn't lose you two on the way over here."
    "Thanks!" Shannon said with sarcasm.
    The door opened and a skinny guy dressed in black, a lip ring, and topped
with a black hat stared back at us.
    "Do I know you?" He asked. Before the twins could say anything the door
shut.
    "Of all the frickin'nerve," Benji said and he tapped on the door. "Billy
open up. No jokes. We have company."
    The door opened and Billy had a big smile on his face. "Sorry bout' that.
Come in you losers."
    We entered the room and Shannon and me almost gasped. It seemed we were
in a suite. A nice, fancy, big one at that. All decked out in white. White
walls, white carpet, white furniture.
    "Brent, Shannon," Benji said pointing at Billy. "This is Billy. He is
part of the band. I don't know why though. He doesn't do anything."
    Billy hit Benji playfully. "Whatever Benji! Don't listen to him. He is
just mad that I can play any type of Acoustic guitar and even Bass for that
matter better than him."
    Benji rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. He walked over to the
couch. Someone was sitting there but had been quiet since we stepped in.
    "That's Paul." Joel said pointing at him. "He is our other band member.
He is cool and probably the sweetest, loudest guy you will ever know."
    "Oh man," Billy chimed in. "He isn't exaggerating on loud. This guy is
crazy!"
    "Shut up," Paul finally said with a smile. "Before I kick your ass."
    "Try it man, I dare you!"


    We had spent some time hanging out with the band Good Charlotte in their
hotel room. They gave us a quick tour of the place. I was going to ask where
their crew was, but it was quickly answered when they showed us they had two
living areas in their hotel suite. The one for them and one for the crew. But
they explained that their suite was only a four bedroom, and that the crew
had their own beds in a separate part of the hotel.
    "But you guys are sleeping in one of our beds." Paul quietly said. "One
of us will take the couch."
    "No, no." I said. "We couldn't."
    "Yes, yes." Joel mimicked. "You can. You two got my bed."
    Before I could protest, he held up his hands and turned his head away
from me.
    "I don't want to hear another word about it."
    He was just way too cute.


    The sounds of laughter and screams were all around us as people enjoyed
the cheap thrills of the carnival. The six of us, Benji, Joel, Paul, Billy,
Shannon and I, walked around the carnival looking at the rides and deciding
if we wanted to ride any, and if we did, which one would be first. I didn't
care that much what we did. I was just taking it all in. I liked the smell of
cotton candy and popcorn in the air. And the fact that I was there with a
band that was extremely famous.
    Just as we were about to go inside The House of Mirrors, Billy insisted
on it, a crowd of screaming teenagers came out of nowhere and crowded around
the four guys. Shannon and I watched with amusement as they answered
questions and signed their arms and stuff. They had told us earlier it was
necessary they bring markers because at one point of the day they would be
asked to sign something.
    I watched Joel as he talked to a girl and her five-year-old sister. I
felt myself get that warm feeling again and it was driving me crazy that I
seemed to only get it around him. I was sure I knew what it was, but at the
same point I couldn't get my finger on why I was getting it.
    Joel and I hardly talked but when we did, I enjoyed our little
conversations. He was funny and he never missed the opportunity to joke
around and be silly. I also liked it when he was serious and sincere as well.
Like when something interested him he would talk about it with such
enthusiasm that you could see the passion of it in his eyes.
    When the signing was done and the teenagers had calmed down they all
began to say their goodbyes. The girl and her sister stayed a few minutes
longer to talk to Joel.
    "Let's go inside this mirror house," Billy said, pushing Benji and Paul
towards the entrance. Shannon followed them but stopped when she saw I wasn't
coming.
    "You coming?"
    "I'll be there in a minute."
    Her eyes went towards Joel and a smile crossed her face. "I see. Well you
know where we're at." With that she ran and caught up with the guys.
    I walked over to where Joel was. He was kneeling on one knee talking to
the five-year-old girl. I found that her name Nicky.
    "I'm going to marry you one day Jolt," Nicky said with a smile on her
face. She was still learning how to pronounce words. "Just wait and seek.
You're my honey buns."
    Joel laughed and gave the girl a hug. "Alright, when you are old enough,
we'll get married."
    Nicky smiled then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Nicky and the
girl said goodbye and Joel sat there for a minute, lost in thought. After a
moment or two he stood up and faced me.
    "You don't mind if we don't go into the house of mirrors do you?" He
asked me.
    "No, not at all."
    "You want to go do something else?"
    "Sure."
    We began walking, smiling at people who passed us by.
    "I think it's the best feeling in the world." He suddenly said. "The fans
are what its all about for me. It gives me a high to realize that people
actually like what you do."
    I smiled. He had that passionate sincerity in his eyes.
    "Hey," He suddenly said. He stopped in front of a game booth. "Let's play
a game. What do you say?"
    It was one of those games where you threw the darts at balloons to see if
you could pop them, and if you popped a balloon all three times you threw a
dart you got a prize. It seemed easy.
    "I'd say you're on Joel."
    "Great!"
    We played the game twice, none of us winning on the first try. It was a
little bit harder than we thought. But Joel ended up winning on the second
time.
    "What prize do you want?" asked the guy behind the booth. "It can be any
prize you want."
    Joel thought for a second as he looked at what he had to choose from.
    "Well," He said finally. "I want that one." He pointed to a neon green
bear that had a Good Charlotte shirt on. I chuckled a little as I pictured
him walking around the carnival with the bear.
    The man handed him the bear and Joel smiled as he handed it to me. I
didn't know what to think or even say. I just stood there as he held the bear
out to me.
    "I believe I won this prize for you," He said. "So please...take it?"
    Smiling, I took the bear. I couldn't believe how sweet he ended up being.
But I hardly knew him so I figured there was a dark side to him as well that
I just couldn't see. Everyone had two sides. Luckily, at the time being I was
happy I got the good side.
    We walked around and we decided to ride the bumper cars. I chose a blue
car while he chose green. I had barely stepped on the gas when someone bumped
into me. I turned to find it was Joel. He had this huge grin on his face.
    I never got to bump his car. Somehow he always managed to hit me; I
didn't mind. I was having fun. Every time he smiled that warm feeling arose
in me and I realized how much I enjoyed watching him have a good time.
    We laughed about the bumper ride as we exited. He was beaming and I
noticed how much energy he had.
    "Oh man!" He laughed. "I am so sorry. It was just you were so easy to
bump into. I couldn't resist."
    I just smiled. That warm feeling was even stronger now. It wasn't just
warm; it was this tingling feeling I felt in my chest.
    We rode a couple of more rides then Joel asked about the Ferris wheel. I
agreed. I was a little nervous about sitting so close to him but I tried not
to show it. After waiting in line it was finally our turn.
    Joel waited for me to get on. The Ferris cart shook as I sat down, then
Joel sat down beside me. My heart was beating a little fast just from the
thought that he was right next to me. Oh my god, I thought, do I really like
this guy? When did this happen?
    Up we went and I found it weird how we stopped exactly at the top. I
looked around and enjoyed the view. The lights and people all looked so neat
from up there.
    "I'm glad you decided to come," Joel said quietly. "I was hoping you
would."
    "No problem," I told him. "I'm glad I came to. I would have just sat at
home all summer."
    "Thanks." Joel said sounding a bit hurt.
    "No," I laughed. "You know what I meant. Besides, I told you I would be
your friend and friends are there for each other, right?"
    "Yeah," He said grinning. "They are."
    The wind blew causing our cart to shake a little, and that's when Joel
decided he would help it out. I almost panicked as he began rocking back and
forth.
    "Joel," I cried. "What the hell?"
    "Just having fun, that's all." He grinned.
    I couldn't resist the smile. He was so care free and a little wild. So
opposite from me. I was quiet and there wasn't really a wild bone in my body.
The wildest thing I could ever remember doing was smoking a cigarette when I
had been twelve and getting caught by my mother.
    "Am I scaring you?" He asked me. "Because if I am let me know and I will
stop."
    "No," I answered. "You're not scaring me."
    He stopped anyways. "What do you say after this we go over there to the
beach."     He looked out in the distance. I followed his gaze. Beside the
carnival sat white sand and endless black waters. Nighttime waters.
    The ride was soon over and Joel and I made our way to the beach. The
stars hung high in the sky along with a full white moon. The sand felt funny
underneath my shoes, but I didn't care. I could barely hear the sounds of the
carnival behind us; the waves lapping peacefully on the shore.
    Joel walked beside me, his hands in the pocket of his black jeans. Even
though it was night, the full moon allowed me to see him clearly. He stood a
few inches taller than me, I didn't mind. Tonight he wore a black ATTICUS
shirt, with some black jeans. A bandanna was tied around his wrist. I noticed
the tattoo on his other arm. I wondered if he had anymore that I couldn't
see, and then I told myself not to think like that. He wore a black cap
turned sideways on his head. But what I always seemed to find myself looking
at were his eyes. Those intense, brown, sincere puppy dog eyes.
    We walked along in silence for a while looking out at the ocean. It was
nice to actually be there with him. He suddenly stopped as I was thinking
that and turned to me.
    "I really do like you," He said. "I just needed to tell you that."
    "But you hardly know me," I told him trying not to smile. "This is the
second time you have seen me."
    "So? Is that wrong to like someone you have just met?"
    "Well...no. I don't think it is."
    "Okay then. I really like you- a lot."
    I didn't know what to say. His brown eyes pierced through me making that
warm feeling ten times bigger. It was far beyond tingling. To tell you the
truth I didn't know what I was feeling right then.
    "Joel I-"
    He interrupted me. "Do you know what its like to be me? It's not that
great. To wake up everyday and realize that I am not like every other guy in
this world - that's not a feeling I want to feel. Except -" He stopped.
    I waited for him to finish but I realized he wasn't.
    "Except for what Joel?"
    He hesitated. "Except... except right now. Being here with you. It feels
good. It feels...nice."
    "Joel," I whispered. "I know exactly how you feel. I wake up with the
same realization. But I also look at it this way. I am who I am. If I feel I
have to hide my true self from the world because the world doesn't
understand, then I'll do that. But I'm going to hide happy. Because I know
who I am and I know its not a choice. I know it's not something that I can
control."
    He looked at me. "But I don't want to hide it. I wouldn't hide it. The
only thing I feel is holding me back is what I'm doing. I love the fans and I
love making punk music... but do you know that I feel like I am betraying them?
Betraying everyone?"
    "How are you betraying them Joel?"
    "By giving them someone I am not," He answered. "I am up on that stage
and girls in the audience are looking up at me possibly thinking that I am
straight. That one day I will get married to a girl. Inside I am dying,
Brent. I want to stop sometimes and just tell the world that I am not who
they think that I am. But you and I both know that I can't do that."
    "I know," I whispered. I didn't realize that he was only inches from me.
I was too busy looking past him at the ocean. I felt so bad for him.
    Suddenly he grabbed my hands. His felt warm to the touch. I looked up. He
was looking around to see if anyone was nearby. In the distance, there was a
small bonfire with some teenagers goofing off around it, but they looked like
ants from where we stood.
    Looking back at him, I saw him staring at me. I wanted right then and
there to kiss him so bad. Then, as if he read my mind, I saw him lean in.
    "Hey!"
    He jolted back and quickly released my hands. I turned to see someone
running up towards us from the direction of the carnival. It was Billy.
    "There you guys are! We've been looking all over for you two!"


    There is Chapter 3. You guys know what to do. Email me and let me know
what you think ok? Well I hope you enjoyed it. With much love to you guys,
Chapter 4 is already in the works!