Date: Sat, 14 Aug 2004 14:08:37 -0400
From: Ryan G <remiel78@hotmail.com>
Subject: Kyle and Me - Part 2

Kyle and Me Disclaimer: This story is about men having sex
with men. If that's not your thing or you're too young to
read it, please leave now. The author has no knowledge of
Kyle and Lane Carlson's sexuality, nor that of any other
celebrity that may be mentioned here, and has written this
purely as a work of erotic fantasy fiction. Enjoy!

Kyle and Me - Part 2
By Remiel78

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He's not?  My mind began to wrap itself around those words.
I was still staring into his eyes.  Not exactly a bad sight?
Who the hell am I kidding, he's fucking gorgeous, but I
didn't think I would ever see this much of him.  Turning
away from him I finally slid my hands to my cheek and they
were beyond hot.

"Seth," Kyle called out in a voice a soft yet husky tone.
"Am I embarrassing you?"

Is he embarrassing me?  Is he for real? Hell yeah I'm
embarrassed.  I shook my head then nodded a bit.  I don't
know.  I think it's best that I remain silent.  If I say
something right now I'll make a fool out of myself.

"Hey,"   he started, but instead of continuing he put is
hand on my shoulder.  This wasn't happening.   This isn't
happening.  I had to repeat it to myself a couple of times,
before I acknowledge that his hand was on my shoulder.
Glancing towards it I made sure I didn't turn around. I
wasn't sure if he was dressed or not. I would settle for a
towel around the waist right now.

"Seth?"  I hadn't realized it, but Kyle had been saying
something and it completely slipped passed me.

"Sorry."  It's all I could manage at the moment.   My cheeks
were still red.  Who knew if he could tell?  All I know was
that he was touching my shoulder.   I blinked a couple of
times attempting to gather my wits.

What the hell was wrong with me?  I've seen scantily clad
men before.  I've seen men in the buff before.   I wasn't
the one that was after a Carlson twin, but the revelation
that he wasn't sorry was still sinking in.  Not to mention
that he seemed to like the attention.  And his hand was
still on me.  There was a slight gasp and if I hadn't been
biting my tongue I would've squeaked or done something in
the realm of lameness that I was about to sink into. I was
on the cusp of it ready to slide in.   I know I am.  It's
just one of those things, like Murphy's Law.   It's a curse.
Silence is my friend.

Talk, say something, do something.

"Just caught me off guard that's all, Kyle," I responded.
I'm not sure how much time passed, but I knew he was going
to start to wonder.

"I tend to do that sometimes."  His hand slipped from my
shoulder and there was a mix of sadness and relief.  I like
the feel of his hand there.   I like the way he had caressed
my shoulder.  It was one of those firm squeezes that says a
bit more than a gentle one does.  It was, `Are you ok?  I'm
here.'   I desperately wanted to tell him not to let go.

Wait?  That's not a thought I should be having.  Is it?

Somewhere in the middle of my mental ramblings Kyle has
slipped away and slipped on a pair of jeans.   I heard the
zipper, but things were barely registering.  It wasn't until
he stepped in front of me that I noticed that he was
clothed, not completely, but at least he wasn't naked down
under any more.   Johnny's going to kill me.

I felt like I was in high school discovering boys for the
first time.   Not like I didn't know they were there, but
when you reach high school things are different.  Anything
before that is a passing thought.  You're mind is starting
to go places that it didn't go before and you start to see
how much you're changing and how everyone else is changing
around you.  Hard bodies, deeper voices, facial, body hair,
it's all around the corner and it's starting to catch your
eye.   Sounds, smells, sights it's all becoming intense, but
it in a different way.   The glide of someone's body against
yours sends a shiver along your spine and you try to figure
out way.  It was accidental collision, but for you it's
explosion of sensations that you didn't even know where
there.

This thing inside you starts to spread across your body. You
don't know where it starts your head or down below or maybe
in your stomach.  Definitely not butterflies, because
sometimes it pulls tight and sometimes it moves from place
to place. It feels warm, it feels hot.   You feel so fucking
frustrated and then you find a way to let it all out.  A few
strokes feel nice, few more feel better and then you find if
you do it more and faster it'll just lead you to the
eventual release.  It's your own Independence Day complete
with fireworks and cannon fire.

"Seth?" Kyle's eyes haven't left mine, but I'm a million
miles away at the moment.   I take a deep breath trying to
remember to remain calm.   Why did he say that?  It was an
accident, that's all right.

"I forget a couple of things, over there."  I motion to the
table in the corner behind the photo set area, or whatever
you call it. I do know the name of it.  I think I do.  I
need to stop looking at his eyes.  I need to tear away from
them and get what I needed to get.

"What did mean?"  I don't know where it came from, but the
words were slipping from my lips.

"By,"   he responded.

"What you said.about not being sorry."  I could feel my lips
pressing into a thin line.  Can't be helped happens when I'm
thinking.

"I wasn't sorry."  A hint of a smile appeared on his lips.
He didn't really answer the question, but who was I to
badger it out of him.  This was so awkward.  I did my best
to keep my eyes else where, but I couldn't stay focused on
his eyes.  They pulled me in more and his lips looked so
cute like that.   I could feel my teeth chewing at that
inside of my lower lip.

It's been six months since I broke up with Brian and this is
the first time that I'm actually taking notice in another
guy.  First time that anyone else has filled my mind and
it's Kyle Carlson, someone that just isn't.I don't know gay?
But he said he wasn't sorry.  What does that mean?   I want
to know what that means.

My eyes do something bad and move from his face down along
his neck towards his shoulders.  They shouldn't be on his
shoulders.  They're strong, their broad and I could see the
muscle there.  It's nothing overdone or scary.  It's right.
I could lay my head on his shoulders for hours and his
chest.God what am I doing?   I stop myself right there, just
in time to hear a slight chuckle.  Was it a chuckle?

"It's ok, Seth."  He sounded closer.  Was he closer again?
God I think I'm blind. I should be able to see in front of
me right.  What the hell is wrong with me?

Lifting my head up my eyes caught his, indeed he was closer.
When did that happen?  I remembered why this isn't
happening, I'm so far out of his league.  Taking a step back
he tilts his head reaching out for my face and it stops me.
I should be moving away, but I don't.  You don't move away
from things like that.  Well, technically you can, but I
didn't want to. I want to feel his hand on my face. I want
to see what would happen.  "Kyle."

He didn't say a word; his hand simply fell upon my face,
cupping it gently at the side his thumb stroking it
absently.  Why is he doing this? "Johnny put you up to
this."   It was a logical assumption.  With the way he had
been carrying out. It was just a matter of us running into
one another; me coming back for the stuff was just
convenient, that's all.

"Johnny didn't put me up to anything."  He took a step
closer and I could feel myself slowly leaning into the hand.
Please don't let go.  Please don't stop.  He looked at me as
if he knew what I was saying.  It had to be my eyes.
People tend to say I that can be quite expressive.  I guess
this was one of those moments.

If Johnny didn't put him up to it why was he doing this?
Why am I doing this? I'm not interested am I?  My eyes move
to his chest down to the waist band of his jeans that were
unbuttoned.  Ordinarily I'm not self conscious about my
looks, but at the moment I was.

"I'm curious."   He's curious about what?  The gay thing?
That's what flies through my head.  God I'm some type of
fucking experiment.

"About what? Being..."  I'm about to blurt it out when he
shakes his head.

"About you."  Our words almost run over one another.

"What?"

"I'm curious about you, Seth."  Why in the world would he be
curious about me?  There's nothing special about me.   My
head starts shaking.   "Sick..."

"What?"

"This is a sick fucking joke, Kyle."  My voice is already
starting to falter. I stop it a moment later pulling way
from him.   My eyes have already fallen to the ground.
"Don't say things that aren't true."

"How do you know what's true for me?  Why can't you."  If I
didn't know any better I'd say he sounded a bit frustrated.
What did Kyle Carlson know about me?  What did I know about
him?  Outside of what other people have told us next to
nothing.

"People.don't."  Not since Brian and I know this isn't real.
I began to wring out my hands, fingers playing among one
another in an attempt to draw attention from my face and my
eyes.  "People have standards."

People have standards.  The moment it I said it I remembered
the first time I heard it.  I remember everything that's
ever been said or not said when people look at me, when I've
shown interest or otherwise.  You don't measure up.  You're
not what I'm looking for.  You're too big.  If you lost some
weight.  No.

The words flow in and out of my head, along with the events
associated with them.   Remembering that, hearing that just
reminds me how absurd this is.  It's a game. It's a joke.

"Yeah, they do.  I do, but they're my standards.  Not
people's, not society's."   He's lying. He has to be.   In a
way I feel like I'm not giving him a chance, but why would I
put myself on the line like that?  I've heard it before.

Teresa says it's all about the way you carry yourself and I
think I carry myself quite well.  There are a few things I
can improve on, but I do ok.  I'm not looking. I so wasn't
looking.  My head moves back and forth, left and right
attempting to deny what he's saying.  I'm hearing it all
wrong. This is some warped dream, a nightmare that's
beginning to be indulged.  I chose not to.  Voluntary
torture is not on the menu tonight. Sorry.

"Is it that hard to believe that someone would be curious
about you, Seth?"

In small word, yes.

"This is absurd, Kyle. You don't know what you're talking
about."  I'm taking control of the situation.  I'm not about
to do this.  Why do I feel trapped?   Why do I feel like the
walls are closing in on me?  My heart's pounding and I don't
know why.   Where is this coming from?

"You intrigue me."   He doesn't stop he keeps saying these
things that don't make any sense. I'm a very logical person.
Both feet are on the ground. I floated away to the clouds
once, a dozen times and I've found myself crushed beneath
the heavy heel of reality countless times, but I kept on
going.  The last time was too much.

"You don't even know me," I whisper in a shaky voice.   Why
is this affecting me so much?  I went from being embarrassed
to wanting and long to terrified.  It's the words it has to
be the words.  I'm ready dash away, do something, but
instead I find myself pressed up against a wall.

Where the hell did that come from?

"Ergo, curious."  He smiled at me and there's something
about it that just made me wonder.  It made me want him to
be curious.  I don't even know what I feel at the moment.
The idea that someone would be curious about me is so over
my head.

"Come on, Seth.  You can't be that self conscious."   Can't
I?  Who wouldn't be around him? Ok maybe other models that
thought they were the shit, but he was really down to earth
in a way.  It's not like I didn't expect or anything. I know
people in the business. I know the ones that are completely
in the stratosphere and ones who are really grounded.  I'm
looking at one of the grounded ones even though he's pulled
me through a magical gate into bizarro world.

"I guess you're not interested."  His shoulders rose lightly
and fell.   I just didn't know what to say.   Hot as fuck
comes to mind, but it was that same thing that kept me from
really accepting the idea that he could actually want to get
to know me.

"I don't know what I am."  Pausing in my words my eyes moved
to his.  I have to look him in the eyes. I have to. I need
to.  ".it's a bit sudden, not to mention."  I don't even
think I can say.  My lips part to speak, curving a bit, but
nothing comes out.

"Me in the buff?"

"For starters."  He chuckled a bit and I blushed.

"Sweet!"

"What?"

"I can make you blush."  I guess he hadn't noticed all the
heavy blushing I was doing back there.

"That's a good thing," I ask.

"Hell yeah! If I can't make you blush I don't got much going
for me do I?"  A funny sound entered the air. It took a
couple of seconds for it to register that it was a giggle
and that it was coming from me.   A light smile that slowly
began on Kyle lips blossomed into one of the most beautiful
smiles I had ever seen.   He was the sun and I was the
flower desperate for his light and gentle caress of warmth.

My eyes move down along with my lashes and for the first
time in a long time I felt, timid in a good way.  He was
aggressive, but in a good way.  A way that makes you want to
reach out and see what happens.  I wasn't attempting to
study him. I just didn't know.  I was the one that was
intrigued.

"So."

"Yeah, so."   So what? What now?  He's guiding me along this
journey right now. Is this happening? Is this real?  All
those things go unsaid as my eyes slide up towards his.  I
try to keep my eyes there because I'm trying to be good and
not objectify him. I don't want him to think I think of him
as a piece of a meat.

"Is this happening?"

He ran his tongue across his lips.   They were soft, pink,
just the right shade, like petals on flower. I've seen him
before. I've seen him a lot of times, but I've never looked
at Kyle this way.  I was with Brian.  It was different then.
You notice hot guys, handsome guys, sexy guys, but you
don't, at least I didn't, analyze them this much.   I didn't
let my eyes trail over their body studying every detail,
right down to the slight movements of their chests as they
breathed, but none have been this close and said what he's
said.

"Could be, if we let it.  If we want it to."  His voice was
echoing in my mind.   I played the words over and over again
and I didn't want to hide. I didn't want to be scared.  The
fear was there, but it was shrinking. It was slowly being
pressed down.

I didn't sink with it.  I felt like I was bouncing, but I
didn't move.  My entire body was bouncing as if it was ready
to do something, ready to leap into the air.  My anchors
were gone.  Where they went I don't know.   I was losing
myself in the moment and the blue of his eyes.    They were
my sky.

Is this happening?  Is this real?  My heart tells me it's
real, because it's about to burst out of my chest.   "Kyle."
There's no answer.  Just movement.  Movement to my
shoulders.   I jump, he doesn't.  "Sorry."

He smiles.  It's so cute.   I press my lips together running
my tongue across them in secret but he knows.

His hands move from my shoulders to my neck, featherlike
touches along the way until he reaches the side of my face.
He doesn't need to force it, it's already turning and he's
moving closer.  We're both moving closer.  My lifts up. He's
taller than me a little or maybe it's just a reflex.

Is this real?

His lips touch mine; pressing gently and I return the
affection allowing my eyes to shut.  This is so very real.


TO BE CONTINUED
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