Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 10:52:13 PDT
From: Randy Seigel <randyseigel@hotmail.com>
Subject: Man(son) of my Dreams part 3

Okay, part 3 is going to be written from Marilyn's point of view. Change of
pace you know. Sorry no sex yet. It is coming. I promise!  Disclaimer: This
story is fiction. It in no way implies that Marilyn Manson is gay or even a
nice guy.  I want to thank the people who actually read this story and took
the time to write to me.  You all rock!


Man(son) of my Dreams part 3
	
	I watched Mikel walk away, wishing I didn't have to say good-bye.
I would much rather spend the evening with just him, not all the jokers who
pretend to be my friends that Rose invited. And I really didn't want to
open the door and let Rose out. I hated this part of my life. I had made a
commitment to my relationship with Rose despite the fact I identified
myself as gay. I still slept with her, but belive me it was an ordeal each
and everytime we did. I care about her and sometimes I guess I do love
her. She just can't take the place of what I want.  I turned my key in the
play room door and opened it.
	
	"It's about time Brian. I will never understand why you think it is
so funny to lock me in there. Besides, you promised you wouldn't leave your
room."

	"Sorry Rose. Let's go back."

	She slipped her hand in mine and squeezed.

	"I love you Brian Warner."

	I sighed to myself. This is what I really hated. The biggest lie of
them all.

	"I love you too Rose."

	She continued to chatter on about the wedding she was planning for
the two of us.  I zoned out quickly. I hate to even think about it. I don't
want to be trapped like that.  I keep talking to my father about these
feelings, but he keeps telling me its cold feet.  He just can't accept the
fact I am gay and has buried the fact I even told him at one point.  Mom on
the other hand can't belive I am marrying Rose. She told me not to settle
for less then what I want. And she knows Rose isn't what I want.

	"Are you listening to me Brian? Hello Brian? MARILYN!"

	I zoned back in when she screamed Marilyn. She generally doesn't
call me that unless I am ignoring her.

	"Of course Rose. Your absolutly right."

	She just looked at me.

	"Fine. Let's just get tonight over with and then I will go
home. That's obviously what you want."

	We stood in front of my room and just looked at each other.

	"Why don't you go get dressed Brian? Put something nice on. I'm
going to go change."

	"Okay Rose."

	She gave me a kiss on the cheek before she walked away. I sighed
and pulled open the door. The guys were still there and Trent had gotten
out of the bathroom finally. I walked past them into my bedroom. I opened
my closet and looked at my clothes. She has been trying to get me to change
the way I dress, but I still favored black clothes. I decided on a pair of
black pants and a sleeveless mock turtleneck that was black as well. I
slipped out of my comfortable jeans and t-shirt combo and into these
clothes of my trade. I took my hair out of the ponytail and let it fall
down. I brushed it a bit and just let it go. I knew I should put on some
make-up but I really didn't feel like it. As a matter of fact, I didn't
feel like any of this at all. I climbed into bed and closed my eyes.
	

	Mikel handed Alicia another king. He was losing pathetically in Go
Fish.

	"Damn your really bad at this Mikel. I wish I had convinced you to
play poker. I'd make more on that then this job tonight."

	"Sorry Alicia. My mind is elsewhere. When are the cooks supposed to
get here? We need to get started on all that soon."

	She looked at her watch and shrugged.

	"Anytime now I guess. It's 7:30 already."

	"Well, lets go finish loading up the bar then."

	They gathered up the other servers and they went out to the
van. Soon they unloaded a ton of alcohol. Marty never sent them without
every type of liquor he could think of, not to metion a wide variety of
beers.


	"Bri...wake up man. We got to go now."

	I opened my eyes and Trent was hovering over me. I rolled over and
covered my head with the pillow.  He sat down on the bed and began to rub
my back.

	"Come on Brian. You promised you wouldn't do that this time. Now
get out of bed or I'll tell Rose that your sleeping with me again."

	I rolled over and began to laugh. So did Trent. That was a
long-running joke ever since we became friends. Especially after I began to
date Rose. She seemed to think it was Trent who I was sleeping with because
I still wasn't that interested in women. For awhile it bugged me, but Trent
and I decided to just go with it. Sometimes we would sleep in the same bed
to freak her out.

	I climbed out of bed and followed Trent out of the bedroom. The
other guys were gone and in their place was Rose. She glared at me with her
hands on her hips.

	"Come on Brian. No time to fuck around with Trent now."

	"Don't worry Rose. Brian and I already did that today."

	Trent brushed past her and left the room. His comment only made her
angrier. I smiled at her and took her hand.

	"Let's go to the party Rose."

	She dropped my hand and turned on me.

	"You know!?! Who told you?"

	"Umm...Rose don't over-react. I still appreciate the effort."

	"It was Twiggy wasn't it. That kid can never keep a secret. Grr...I
hate your friends sometimes."

	I started to walk away from her. She grabbed my arm and pulled me
back.

	"Why are you walking away from me? Brian. Brian. Answer me."

	I just continued walking. She stomped her foot like a little kid
and ran after me.

	"Rose leave me alone. I'm sick of all this. After tonight, it's
over."

	She immediatly changed her tone of voice and mannerisms.

	"Now Brian honey, your just over-reacting. We'll talk about this
later okay love."

	I wanted to throw up at the sound of her sugary sweet voice. She
leaned over and gave me another kiss. I pushed her away lightly, trying not
to hurt her no matter how much I wanted to.

	"Well fine then. It's over. I wouldn't want to marry you anyway."

	She walked away from me, heading outdoors. People had already
arrived. She put on a big, fake smile and headed into the crowd. I followed
her out, slowly allowing my face to take on the mask that I had perfected
over the years. People think I am a cold, emotionless monster. I let them.
Trent grabbed my arm as soon as I walked outside.

	"Marilyn, this is crazy already. Did you know who she invited?"

	"Oh no. Who?"

	Trent turned me around and pointed to a woman.

	"Courtney is here."

	"Great Trent as if things couldn't get worse. Now I have to deal
with Ms. Love."

	"Oh and she also invited Anthony."

	Now this was really upsetting me. Anthony and I went our seperate
ways years ago. We had made a mutual decision to not spend anytime around
each other. I guess I never really explained the reasons behind that
decision well enough to Rose. Now my ex was at a party given by my fiancee
who I just ended it with.

	"Come on let's go get a drink Rez. I could use one."

	The two of us headed over to the bar. A young woman was behind it,
handing a couple drinks to another server whose back was to us. I leaned on
the counter and asked the woman for two screwdrivers.
 The man turned and looked at me. It was Mikel! We both blushed.

	"Hello Mr. Manson. Can I get you anything?"

	"Hello Mikel. It's good to see you. And didn't I tell you not to
call me that earlier."

	"Sorry Marilyn. I have to go serve these drinks. Alicia will take
good care of you or else she'll hear about it from me and my boss. I'll see
you later."

	"Bye Mikel."

	I was still blushing considerably. Both Trent and the bartender
were staring at me. I immediatly stiffened up and glared at her. She jumped
and quickly finished the drinks. Trent and I took them and walked over to a
couple of chairs. He was still looking at me strangely.

	"You know I haven't seen that look on your face in years. Not
since, oh what was his name.  Rob that's it."

	"Trent, I don't want to jinx anything okay. He's cute isn't he."

	I was glad Trent was here. We had gone through a bad patch recently
with our friendship, mainly do to Courteny's influence on me. I had missed
him alot. My gaze was on Mikel as I sipped my drink and chatted with
Trent. I hate parties and frankly the only person I wanted to spend time
with was working this one.


	The night passed quickly thankfully. At 2am the only people left
were Trent, MW, John, and Twiggy.  Even Rose split. I had wanted Mikel to
stay and I tried to talk to him a few times. Rose had noticed the attention
I was giving him and kept him running. When I did get a few moments alone
with him, I told him to stay to go swimming after the party. He declined
with good reason. If he didn't show up with everyone else, he wouldn't get
paid. I pulled him inside and gave him a quick kiss. He told me he would be
here tomorrow at 11:30 like planned.

	"Guys. This party tonight like sucked majorally."

	"I agree Pogo, it reeked."

	Twiggy passed the joint to Trent after his apt statement was
done. Trent took a pull and passed it to me. I took a drag and began to
laugh.

	"Gentlemen. I have an announcement. We will never have to sit
through another boring party given by Rose McGowan again. That is a
promise."

	MW and John clapped. Twiggy swam over to me and put his arms on my
raft.

	"How is that Marilyn? Your marrying her."

	"Nope I'm not."

	Trent began to laugh uncontrollably.

	"So that's why she was so pissed all night. I thought it was just
PMS or something. Good work my man. I've been telling you to do that for
months."

	"Guess I finally listened."

	I smiled and jumped off the raft. For the first time in months, I
was happy. I had finally been honest with myself. Dad won't be too
thrilled, but Mom would be happy. And so would all my friends and bandmates
who Rose had pissed off over the months. As I swam in the cool water, I
felt free and happy. Maybe life didn't suck that much. I couldn't wait
until tomorrow.

---Well Rose is gone and Marilyn is a free man. Stay tuned for the next
section to find out how he and Mikel fair in the future. E-mail me with
comments at randyseigel@hotmail.com!  Thanks for reading! :-) Randy