Date: Wed, 4 Aug 1999 12:21:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: Randy Seigel <randyseigel@hotmail.com>
Subject: Man(son) of my Dreams 6

	Hey everyone! Sorry about taking long with this, but if you will
notice, it's alot longer then the last few. I've finally learned how to
write more! Go me! I was informed of a few problems in the past episodes
and I want to apologize. One: I had Marilyn smoking a cigarette. Big
oopsie! Marilyn would never smoke a cigarette and no one is allowed to
smoke around him either. So no more of that. Two: I was also informed that
Trent Reznor and Marilyn Manson are no longer speaking to each other
because someone else produced Mechanical Animals. I did know that already,
but for the purpose of fiction we are all going to pretend they are
friends. Trent has a purpose. I want to thank Rev Decay for pointing these
out to me.
	I also wanted to thank Zillah for the poetry she let me use in this
section. E-mail me if you like it and I'll send you to her website to get
more. Now for all the legal mumbo-jumbo. This in no way implies that the
real Marilyn Manson, John 5, or Madonna Wayne Gacy are gay. Also it does
not imply that any of the other people mentioned such as Anthony Keidis of
the Red Hot Chili Peppers are gay as well. Oh and please do not flip if you
figure out who love interest #2 is. My boyfriend thought it would be a
funny match-up. Thanks for reading!

	Randy (randyseigel@hotmail.com)

			Man(son) of my Dreams part 6


	Twiggy turned his key in the door, cursing under his breath. He
couldn't seem to unlock the door fast enough. He threw a bag down by the
door and released the two dogs who were pulling at him. They rushed past
him, disappearing from sight.

	'I swear, this is the last time I pick up his damn dogs!' Twiggy
thought to himself as he went to chase them down. He headed into the
kitchen and saw all the dirty dishes from earlier. 'God he can be such a
pig sometimes.' Twiggy began to clean up the dishes, putting them in the
dishwasher and generally straightening up the kitchen. When he was
finished, he walked into the dining room and threw his hands up when he saw
the mess there. 'Oh forget it. This is not my job. At least he's not home.'

	Twiggy flipped through an album containing CD booklets, finally
settling on David Bowie's Outside. Marilyn had got him hooked on Bowie
since he had joined the band and Outside was one of his favs. It was just
dark and spooky enough for him, while still containing all the greatness
that David Bowie was capable of. He had it on random and sat back as the
first strains of 'I Have Not Been to Oxford Town' came on. One of the dogs
jumped up on the couch with him and sat on his lap. Twiggy began to pet the
dog on his lap.

	"This Rasputin is the reason why I love having the house to
myself." Twiggy continued to pet the dog as the song changed to 'The Hearts
Filthy Lesson'.



	Marilyn began to stir when he heard some music being played. He
shifted his body and saw Mikel was still sleeping. He kissed him lightly on
the lips and climbed out of bed. He pulled his pants back on and a t-shirt
that was on the ground. With a yawn, he left his bedroom and headed into
the living room. As he got closer the music got louder and louder. He
grimaced. As much as he loved Bowie, even he couldn't listen to him as loud
as Twiggy did. He walked into the living room, where the music had reached
wall-shaking level and saw Twiggy strumming a guitar on the couch. Sitting
on the couch with him was Rasputin and Nostradamus.

	"Hey kids! Come to daddy." Marilyn clapped his hands and the dogs
flew off the couch. They jumped on Marilyn and pulled him to the ground.

	"Did you two miss me? Did the evil Rose treat you bad? Thanks for
picking them up Twiggy. I hate to think how she would treat them after we
broke up."

	"Actually she just dropped them on MW's front steps. She didn't
even let us know she was going to. So I had them bring us home. What are
you doing home? I thought you were out? Oh and I like that shirt."

	Marilyn looked down at the shirt he was wearing. He hadn't grabbed
one of his t-shirts, he had grabbed the one Mikel had been wearing. He
began to laugh.

	"Actually I thought I had the house to myself Twiggy. Someone is
kind of over right now. Remember that waiter from yesterday I introduced to
you guys?" Twiggy nodded and turned down the music so they could talk
better.

	"Well, he and I had lunch together. And he's asleep in my room
right now. I guess I grabbed his shirt instead of mine."

	I stood in the doorway and listened to Marilyn and Twiggy talk. I
knew I shouldn't eavesdrop, but I wanted to know what he was thinking.

	"Cool, did you fuck him?" Twiggy took a swig of beer and stared at
Marilyn. "Actually no. And I'm not even upset. He means more to me then
just a quick fuck like all the others. I don't know. He makes me feel
special. I don't want to lose him Twiggy."

	"Wow, you haven't talked like that since back in Orlando, pre-Rose,
post-Anthony. He means that much to you already?" Marilyn nodded and
smiled. "What are you going to do when we leave in a few weeks?" Twiggy
asked tentativly.

	"I hadn't really thought that far ahead."

	I decided it was time to open my mouth and let them know I was
there. "Where are you guys going?" Both Marilyn and Twiggy jumped when they
heard my voice. "Mikel, how long have you been awake?" "Not long. I woke up
when I realized you weren't there." I walked over to the couch and put my
arms around him. "Hey Mikel, how are you today?" "Pretty good Twiggy. Still
a little bit sleepy though. I was enjoying my afternoon nap."

	I climbed onto the couch with Marilyn and gave him a kiss on the
lips. "Nice shirt." He smiled at me. "Thanks. It just kind of appeared in
my room. I think I'll keep it." "And what if the person who accidentally
seemed to have dropped it on your floor likes it alot too? What then?"
Marilyn scratched his head. "Well I guess I will have to convince him
otherwise." He began to tickle me. I began to squirm as he found all the
spots on my body that were ticklish. "If you keep tickling me, I will never
agree." I managed to gasp out. He let me go. I sat back trying to catch my
breath, all the while glaring at him.

	"Okay, I'm sorry. Forgive me beautiful?"

	"Of course. Just don't do it again." He leaned over and kissed me
softly.

	"I won't. I have to go feed the dogs. Stay here with Twiggy. I
won't be long." He got up off the couch and headed for the kitchen. He let
out a loud whistle and two very large dogs flew through the living room.

	"Oh my god Twiggy. I thought he said he had dogs, not horses." I
laughed nervously. I had never liked dogs and most of the time they didn't
like me very much either.

	"Actually Rasputin and Nostradamus are quite friendly. They have
never met a person they didn't like. Well except for Courteny. But that
just shows they have good taste." Twiggy laughed while opening a little box
that was next to him. It looked vaguely similar to the one by the pool. He
pulled a joint out and lit it. "Twiggy that shit is nasty. Do you have to
smoke it right now?" He just looked at me and took another drag. "Yup." I
crossed my arms and sat back against the couch.

	"Look Mikel, I don't change my smoking habits for anyone, so just
make the best of it. I think you are a really nice guy, but if you turn
into a tight-ass when it comes to drugs, you and the Reverand aren't going
to last very long." Twiggy took another drag and waited for my reply.

	"Twiggy, I don't like them. I don't like how I feel when I use them
and I don't like how they make people act. Drugs just turn me off and I
already told Marilyn that when he tried to light up earlier. I will however
keep my objections to myself if you can try to keep the smoking down around
me."

	"So what about the snorting? Should I keep that down too?" Twiggy
smiled at me. He was trying to make a joke, but he quickly saw that it
wasn't funny. "Sorry Mikel. I don't snort in front of anyone anyway. That's
nasty to most people, so I don't do it in front of anyone. Neither does the
Reverand for that matter." Twiggy put his hand out towards me. I grabbed it
and he shook it firmly.

	"So besides hating drugs, tell me about yourself. More
specifically, what do you want from Marilyn?" Twiggy's entire attitude
changed the moment he mentioned me and Marilyn. I knew he was serious and
wanted the truth. I felt I owed him that. What reason did I have not to
tell him the truth?

	"I honestly don't know. I care about Marilyn a lot, but I also just
met him. Part of me is enthralled with the idea of spending time with
Marilyn Manson the rock star. The rest of me is even more excited to be
spending time with Brian Warner. I'm not in this to go bragging to people
that I slept with Marilyn Manson. First off, I would never out anyone
ever. My ex-boyfriend taught me very well when it comes to secrecy in
Hollywood regarding sexuality. Second, I would never do that to him. He
doesn't deserve it at all. Third, I'm just not that type of person. Plus, I
haven't slept with him."

	Marilyn stood in the kitchen door and watched as Twiggy and I
talked. He couldn't help but listen. He trusted Twiggy and if Twiggy got
along with me okay and actually seemed to like me, that would make his
decision all that much easier. He already knew what he wanted and he wanted
me. Marilyn sighed and walked back into the kitchen. He sat on the floor
next to the dogs and watched them eat. They often fought over food when one
finished before the other. The only way to prevent that was to watch
them. Nostradamus finished his meal and walked over to where Marilyn was
sitting. He sniffed his face and began to lick his hand. Marilyn scratched
him behind the ears and gave him a hug.

	"You two going to be good? I can go into the other room and
everything?" They both looked up at him with innocent expressions. Marilyn
laughed at them. "Okay, I'll trust you. No funny business."

	He walked into the living room. Twiggy and I were bent over my
laptop, talking quietly. Marilyn immediatly got jealous and cleared his
throat. "Oh hey babe. I didn't see you there." I walked over and gave him a
hug. "Rev, you wouldn't believe who he is. He's Mikel Vasquez. The Mikel
Vasquez. The one who wrote 'Bitches Mantra.' Can you believe it!" Twiggy
began to pull on Marilyn's arm. He just stared at me. I looked down at my
feet.

	"I thought I told you not to do that." I felt Marilyn's hand on my
jaw, lifting my head. His lips met mine softly. Twiggy grabbed both of us
and directed him towards my laptop. "Look, read this. It's some of his
poetry. It's incredible." They both leaned over my laptop and read an old
piece of mine.


					Relationships 101

					Satisfying emotions
					Repeated messages
					Unanswered calls
					That damn machine again
					Sleepless nights
					Soft kisses
					Warm hugs
					Meaningful conversations
					Screaming fights
					Lust
					Long goodbyes
					Maybe's
					I love you's
					Calm fights
					Discussions
					Sex
					Stealing covers
					Routine
					Feed the dog
					The other person's parents
					The phone calls
					The phone calls
					The phone calls
					Short goodbyes
					Routine
					Routine
					Routine
					Final goodbyes
					I'm taking the dog
					You can keep the sofa


	"That one isn't very good guys. It's really old. I have some better
stuff in there."  Before I could do anything, Marilyn pulled me into a
hug. His arms encircled my waist and his nuzzled my neck with his face. "I
want to show you something." He took my hand and lead me to a bookcase by
the windows. "Close your eyes Mikel." I sighed, but obeyed. I felt him
place a book in my hands. "Okay you can open them." I looked down at my
hands and saw that I was holding a very worn copy of 'Bitches Mantra'.

	"I got it when it was first published. I haven't ever been able to
find another copy." I just stared at the book. I flipped to the last page,
re-reading for the first time in years, the supposed ending to "my"
life. "It's all true isn't it. This was really your life." I nodded, tears
slowly filling my eyes. "Don't cry Mikel. You are one of the most talented
writers I have ever had the privilege of reading. How are your parents with
everything now?"

	I smiled at him through my tears. "The book made my parents open
their eyes to me and my feelings. We are really close. They are everything
to me." He held my hands tightly and we both stared into each others
eyes. I lost myself in his brown eyes. I tried to read what I saw there,
but it was muddled up and distorted. I narrowed my eyes slightly and
finally saw what his soul was conveying: I am free. I pulled back slightly,
barely moving perceptibly, more emotionally moving back.

	Twiggy began to laugh behind us. We turned, breaking the spell
between us. I dropped Marilyn's hand, suddenly feeling out-of-place and
very confused. "What's so funny?" Twiggy was still laughing and pointing at
the computer screen. I walked over and began to laugh as well. "He just
found 'Punishment'. It's a nice little poem dedicated to my ex-boyfriend."
Marilyn bent over the screen and read 'Punishment.'

			Punishment
	"you know what i am going to do.
	  i'm withholding sex for a week
                     and part of the deal is
    you can't have sex with any of the other people your fucking either."

	"yeah i know your fucking other people.
       i can taste them on your
  			lips, your
				fingers, your
			cock
		but that's not the point.

 		no sex for a week."

	"then i want you to come crawling
	back to me with the biggest most
		painful
	erection you've ever had.

			so i can laugh in your face."


	Marilyn stood up when he was finished and just gave me a weird
look. I just shrugged back. "It's a long story. My relationship with Paul
was very complicated, still is very complicated. And his new, very rich
boyfriend doesn't make it any easier on either of us." I turned away from
them and walked back to the couch.

	Twiggy stood up from the table and stretched. "I'm beat. I think I
need a nap. I'll see you guys later. Wake me if Kelly calls me." He walked
out of the room, leaving the two of us alone together. I glanced at my
watch. "Can I make a quick phone call Marilyn?" He nodded and reached
behind him for the cordless phone. "We seem to always misplace phones so we
have like two per room."

	I quickly dialed Mr. Stills' phone number. While it rang, I smiled
at Marilyn.

	"Hello Stills' residence. How may I help you?"

	"Mr. Stills? It's me Mikel."

	"Vasquez my dear boy. How are you? Are you going to be back in time
for dinner?" I could hear a note of desperation creep into his voice with
the last question. He must be having a bad day again.

	"Unfortunatly no. That's why I am calling. I wanted to ask if you
would bring Milly to your place for the evening. I don't want either of you
alone. I'll see you both for breakfast tomorrow morning."

	I spent about five more minutes on the phone, trying to comfort him
and tell him it would be okay. By the time I was finished, he was in a much
better mood and couldn't wait to meet this new man in my life. I said
good-bye and hung up the phone. I turned back to Marilyn who was laying
back with his eyes closed. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on his lips.

	"I'm done. Thank you. Mr. Stills needed to be informed of what was
going on or else his whole night would be really thrown off and he would
never have eaten dinner." I stroked Marilyn's hair. He smiled up at
me. "Who's Mr. Stills?" "My neighbor. He seems to have latched onto me and
my cat Milly ever since I moved in there. He's a sweet old man who lives
alone and has no family. We eat breakfast and dinner together almost
everyday."

	Marilyn sat up and took my hand in his. "Will you tell me about
Paul?" I pulled away and sighed. "Why do you want to hear about that
ugliness?"  "I want to know everything about you." He said simply. "Okay,
but promise you won't get weird after you hear this story. Alot of people
do, but they don't know the whole story." "Are you going to tell me the
whole story?" I nodded my head.

	"It started off about six years ago. My friend Marty was just
starting out his catering/party business and he needed my help. I agreed
and I became his primary bartender as well as client schmoozing you could
say. He managed to hook up with a man named Paul Collins, who is a very
well-known individual within the entertainment business. With Paul's help,
his business took off. I began to deal with Paul on a regular basis about
mutual clients and stuff like that. I hated every minute of it. I do not do
well in a business environment. Well, Paul and I hit it off and we began to
date. Marty warned me about Paul, telling me about what he had heard from
other people. Paul was a ruthless businessman and was known for protecting
his clients fiercely. What most people didn't know was that he provided not
only bodyguards, but sex toys for some of the most famous people in
Hollywood. And also all his clients are gay. He won't take on a straight
client, but no one straight every looks for his services. I was sworn by
him not to ever say any names, which is how I learned quickly how important
image is to an entertainer. Things were going well for a long time with
Paul. We were living together and I was writing full time for the first
time in my life. He supported my writing and encouraged me to do it. We got
married, well committed to each other after two years together. That's when
things started to get strange. Paul began to take on bodyguard jobs for
himself, specifically with an individual named Kalen Holmes. Kalen isn't in
the entertainment industry. He is one of the wealthiest men in the country
though. Paul would go on every trip Kalen went on, even if it was just a
quick trip to Vegas or something trivial like that. We began to spend very
little time together and when we were together, we were either having sex
or fighting with each other. He had cut me off from my friends over time,
leaving me trapped in his house alone most of the time. Out of desperation,
I invited my cousin Maria to come stay with me for a few months. She had
just finished high school and was unsure of what she wanted to do. I
offered to let her stay with me and enjoy herself for a few months. I would
have gone crazy without her there. Paul wasn't home very often, but one
night when he was home, he and I got into a huge fight. We were fighting
over something stupid. It had to do with a client of his I was supposed to
take out to dinner while he was out of town, but had sent Maria instead
because I was in the middle of an important section of my new novel. We
were standing at the foot of the stairs screaming at each other, when he
and I came to blows for the first time. It wasn't the last time
either. Maria saw the whole thing and dragged me home the next day. I spent
a week with my family before Paul came to Jersey and got me. He swept me
off my feet and I forgave him for everything. We came home and things were
back to normal. He promised to not take anymore bodyguarding jobs himself
and also agreed to let me have more input in the business. He considered it
our business. I never did. I just liked arranging the bodyguards and
knowing who the clients were. I never knew about the other end of his
business until about six months before we broke up. I had recieved a call
from a client asking for a repeat of 'last nights entertainment' as he
called it. I acted like I knew what he was talking about and took down the
information. I began to search Paul's computer files, looking for anything
having to do with sex. I found alot of very incriminating information. It
got worse when I discovered a number of saved emails from his former client
Kalen Holmes. The two of them were now carrying on an affair and had been
doing so for almost two years. I broke down and ran to Marty. Together we
confronted Paul. He didn't crack despite the evidence I had. He told Marty
that he was very sorry for me worrying him like that. I had been sick for a
while and I was getting help. He almost made Marty believe that I was a
paranoid delusional person who was in treatment for my "condition". The
next six months were actually very good for the two of us. We got through
alot of issues we had with each other. He ackowledged that he was seeing
Kalen as well. That was when he began to mention the two of us going our
seperate ways. I agreed, but not before I had walked in on the two of them
in my bed. I didn't want anything from Paul, but he insisted. I hadn't
worked in years and I wasn't getting anything published anymore. He pays
for my apartment, my computer, my internet access, and my cellular phone
service. He also pays almost all of my bills. He actually just deposited
money into my account and set me up with a few credit cards to hold me
until he got back. His client base is getting broader and he spends more
and more time traveling. Kalen goes with him unlike I ever did. They are in
Europe for a few months."

	It took me about an hour to finish the whole story beyond the basic
details. By the end, Marilyn was shocked that I had lasted as long as I had
with Paul. He held me close and promised not to hurt me ever.
	
	"I learned alot from Paul about love, trust, and about myself as
well. I went into it with my eyes closed, but left with my eyes wide
open. I won't let myself be put in that position again." I hugged my knees
to my body and began to cry. Marilyn stroked my hair and let me cry. After
a few minutes, I began to slow down and Marilyn pulled me to him, burying
my face in his shoulder. I began to remember where I was and whose shoulder
I was crying on. I pulled back from him and looked in his eyes. He smiled
and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

	"I'm sorry about that. I don't usually break down like that. I also
try not to talk about Paul."
	
	"Don't be sorry. You needed to talk to someone. I'm glad I could be
that person. I'll always be here for you Mikel." He stood up and reached
out his hand to me. "Do you want a drink or something?" I nodded and
grabbed his hand. He pulled me up and hugged me in his arms. I melted
against his body and allowed his strength to flow through my body.

	We walked into the kitchen together. He was holding my hand
tightly, squeezing it and smiling at me. From somewhere a low growl was
heard and he dropped my hand. I turned and saw a huge dog staring at the
two of us, his hair on his neck standing straight up. Marilyn dropped to
his knees and held his hand out to the dog.

	"Come here Rasputin. I want you to meet Mikel." Rasputin came over
to his master willingly. He turned to look at me and growled again. "I
forgot to tell you Marilyn. Dogs and I just don't get along." I flattened
myself against the wall even more. Marilyn sighed and stood up. "Rasputin
go over to Mikel and say hello." The dog listened to him and walked over to
me. He sat down and let out a soft 'woof' of forgivness. "Now hold your
hand out to him Mikel." I shook my head 'no.' He reached over and grabbed
my hand. Rasputin sniffed it for a moment and then cocked his head towards
his master. Marilyn dropped my hand and shrugged. Rasputin moved closer and
rubbed his head on my hand. I smiled and scratched behind his ears. He
woofed again and licked my hand. He woofed at Marilyn and walked out of the
room. "Your okay. He approves or else he wouldn't have left the room." I
began to breath normally again and moved away from the wall.

	Marilyn grabbed two glasses and opened the refrigerator. "What do
you want to drink?" I leaned over and looked in the fridge as
well. "Umm...how about a glass of lemonade?" Marilyn pulled it out and
sniffed it. "It's not lemonade." He put it back and grabbed a bottle of
Coke. "Is this okay?" I nodded and he shut the door. "This hasn't been
opened, so I know it's still just Coke." I looked at him, not saying
anything. "Twiggy doctors everything. That definitely wasn't lemonade. I
think it was some sort of drink. Or it could be laced lemonade. Better be
safe now then sorry later." I nodded in agreement, still a little shook up
over that and the dog. We sat at the counter, looking at each other and
drinking our sodas. Marilyn sighed and got up. He pulled a bottle out of
the freezer and added a shot to his drink. "Coke never tastes right without
rum. Want some?" I nodded and he poured a bit into my drink. We sat quietly
again.

	"Tell me about your relationships." Marilyn lifted his head with a
sad look. "Why?" "You know the worst part of my past. I just want to know
about your past, good or bad." He stared into space for a few minutes, his
eyes were faraway. "Okay. I'll tell you about my past relationships. Where
should I begin?" "Tell me about the people you loved." Marilyn
laughed. "Love was never really the word for the people I was with. It was
usually about sex or power. Love was something reserved for people other
then me and my partners." "You never loved any of them?" He got up from the
counter and started to pace the room.

	"No. I did love two of them. Kevin and Anthony. Love is a horrible
thing though Mikel. Let me start with Anthony then." We walked into the
living room and sat back on the couch.

	"I met Anthony about eight years ago. He is also a musician and his
band was famous. They were huge then. Anthony and I fell hard for each
other and what we could bring to each other. Our relationship fed our drug
addictions and each of us feel deeper and deeper into addiction. In brief
periods when neither of us were high, drunk, or stoned, we were great
together. I did love him and I think he loved me. He told me he did. It
eventually ended because our relationship was going to kill both of us and
our respective band members tore us apart. It didn't end well at
all. Instead of backing up from the edge of hell we were both teetering on,
we both went over. He almost died and I became emotionally dead. We never
got along again after that. And last night Rose had the nerve to invite him
to the party. She thinks I should surround myself by certain people and he
is one of them for some reason. No matter how many times I told her we
can't be around each other, she continued to shove us together."

	Marilyn clutched my hand tightly. I thought back to the party last
night and who had been there. The only Anthony I could think of was Anthony
Keidis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. "Anthony Keidis?" He nodded. "Tell me
about Kevin." He lifted his head up and smiled. "Kevin is a much happier
story. We are still friends, even though he would never admitt to either
our friendship or the way he used to be. He has an image to maintain just
as I do."

	"Kevin was a sweetheart. A diamond in the rough. A young kid from
Kentucky looking for fame as a good boy by day and playing in the
goth/metal scene by night. He came to a show and confronted me onstage. As
we stared at each other in front of the crowd while screaming lyrics at
each other, I kept thinking: damn this kid's got balls. And he was sexy as
hell. Dark eyes, black hair and a body to die for. We fucked each other all
night long after the show. But when I woke up in the morning, he was
gone. And I was disappointed. I found a note on my counter that said for me
to meet him at his work to see what he did to become famous. And to dress
conservatively. So I met him. And found him singing pop tunes with four
other guys. I was shocked to say the least. He came and talked with me
during a break. I was introduced to the rest of the guys. All of them were
good-looking as well and they were talented. But not for me. Kevin on the
other hand was for me. And we had a ball when we were together. Unlike
Anthony he didn't drag any excess baggage with him into the
relationship. Kevin was the only guy I knew who had spent as much time as
he did in the goth/metal scene without picking up a drug addiction. He
never did any drugs. I don't know how he did it. He made me feel again. He
moved in with me and the two of us went about a normal life. We loved each
other. And then his band broke through. In no time he was one of the most
famous people in America and one of the most sought after men around. We
made a mutual decision that despite our love for each other, this wasn't
going to work out anymore. He was leaving to tour and he would be touring
constantly for years to come. I tried to convince him to leave his band and
join me, but it was really a hopeless plea for him to continue loving
me. We never fought once about it though. Kevin made it clear that he would
always love me and we would always be friends no matter what. And we have
been. He has been in a committed relationship with another member of the
band for about three years now. They are very happy and the two of them are
still good friends of mine. Actually the last time he was in the area on
tour, he and AJ came over for a visit. They are still some of the most
drooled over men and I'm happy to say that I drooled over Kevin before
everyone else."

	Marilyn smiled and gave me a kiss. He seemed much happier and I
hated to have to pull him back from the happy memories of Kevin. I had to
know about Rose though. "What is Rose then? What is she to you?" He dropped
his head.

	"Rose was convienent. She happened to be in the right place at the
right time and provided a perfect cover for me. It was never love. At least
for me. It was publicity. It was fame. It was stupid."
	
	"Why are you marrying her?"

	"I'm not Mikel. I can't do it. I can't bring myself to kill any
hope of finding real love by marrying that woman. She hated so much about
my life and my friends. My music. She loved being my girlfriend though. It
gave her the freedom to be strange and outspoken like she couldn't have
been without me. She used me too. It was a mutual thing. I never thought it
would go as far as it did. I never thought she would fall in love with me."

	It was my turn to comfort him as he cried. I kissed his tears away
and held him in my arms. We sat in silence for what seemed like an
eternity. The only thing that brought us back to reality was the phone
ringing. "Let Twiggy get it." Marilyn groaned and pulled away. "Twiggy
won't answer it. He's sleeping off a joint. He's sleeping the sleep of the
dead." Marilyn grabbed the phone and answered in the same cold voice he did
when I called earlier.

	"Ginger do we have to do this now? Fine, fine. I'll see you guys in
ten minutes. I'll go wake Twiggy and stick him in the shower to sober him
up." Marilyn hung up the phone and stood up. "The rest of the band will be
here in ten minutes. Apparently something came up involving our tour and we
have to discuss it now according to Sir Ginger, the king of bad timing. I
need your help to sober up Twiggy." I nodded and followed him to Twiggy's
room.

	He opened the door and the first thing that hit me was the smell. A
strong mixture of pot, cigarette smoke, and inscence. Marilyn wrinkled his
nose, but continued ahead. The walls were black with a dizzying pattern
painted in white, making me feel both nauseous and scared at the same
time. He turned on the light and I saw the rest of the room. The whole back
end of the room was taken up by a huge wooden bed that had huge dragons and
monsters carved into it. The floor was wood as well, but was covered with
footprints in red paint leading to the bed. Lights hung down from the
ceiling, each one a different color.The rainbow of lights gave the room a
strange glow and made everything seem smaller then it actually was. And
everywhere you turned was clothes strewn about. Twiggy was stretched out on
the bed, naked, with a mirror laying next to him. It wasn't tough to figure
out that Twiggy wasn't just passed out from the joint and plain
exhaustion. He had snorted something before he passed out. Marilyn dipped
his fingertip in some of what was left. He put it in his mouth to taste it.

	"Shit! Not again. Grab his legs Mikel. We have to throw him in the
shower." We picked him up and managed to carry him to the closest
bathroom. Marilyn turned on the cold water and we threw Twiggy in. Neither
of us had said a word since we found Twiggy. Marilyn climbed into the
shower with him and began to slap his face, trying to bring him around.

	"What did he snort?" "Heroin again. Twiggy seems to enjoy
it. Except this happens almost everytime he does." "Should we take him to
the hospital?" Marilyn shook his head. "Nope. He'll be fine in a few
minutes. He's starting to come around now." Sure enough Twiggy was
beginning to make noise.

	"Yo, Rev. Where are you at?" "Shit the guys are here. Could you
Mikel?" He looked at me pleadingly from the floor of the tub with Twiggy in
his arms. I nodded and headed out of the bathroom and bumped right into MW.

	"Hey Mikel, what's up man? Where's the Twigster or the Reverand?" I
pointed to the bathroom. "He's sobering Twiggy up. He said that he snorted
heroin and has him in a cold shower now."  MW nodded and opened the
door. "Everything under control Reverand?" "Yeah, he's puking now. We'll be
done in a few minutes. I'll meet you guys in the conference room." MW shut
the door. "Well we're not needed here. Let's hit the conference room." MW
took my hand and led me through the hallways. Maybe if the lighting was
better I would be able to find my way, but the dark blue didn't help any.

	"Guys, the Reverand is sobering Twiggy up and they will be here in
a few. Ya'll remember Mikel right?" John and Ginger nodded and continued
arguing about the tour. The three of them continued their conversation as
if I wasn't even there. Twiggy and Marilyn arrived in a few minutes. Twiggy
looked like hell. He was dressed in an old housecoat and had his hair
pulled back. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was white as
snow. Marilyn had changed into a pair of boxers and another t-shirt. He was
leading Twiggy by holding onto his shoulder. He put Twiggy in a chair and
sat down next to me.

	"So what the hell is going on Ginger? You picked a great time for
one of your little meetings." Marilyn scowled at him. "Marilyn this really
is a private band matter. Don't you think Mikel should leave?" "No I don't
Trust me he won't say anything." The two of them locked eyes and engaged in
a battle of wits. "Marilyn honey, it's okay. I need to check my e-mail and
website anyway. I'll be fine." He reluctantly removed his eyes from
Ginger's, who sat back with a satisfied look on his face, and looked at
me. "Fine, here's a key. Go exploring if you want. This will open any
locked doors."  He handed me a key. I pulled him up from the chair and
hugged him tightly. My mouth found it's way to his and we kissed until
Ginger cleared his throat. I released him, gave Ginger an evil look, and
headed out of the room.