Date: Tue, 06 Apr 1999 16:33:23 -0500 From: Jolan Tru <marik_jol@hotmail.com> Subject: "Never Know What What Your Missing" Conclusion ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Never Know What You're Missing" is a follow-up to the previous story "In Practice". Same characters, just expands on the budding relationship between Carlos, Zane and Andros. A short amount of time has passed since the end of the last section of "In Practice". Power Rangers, Power Rangers in Space, Power Rangers Turbo, AlienRangers, and all characters from the series are trademarks of and copyright by Saban Entertainment. Look for another set of adventures for Zane, Andros and Carlos..... I welcome comments and suggestions. Send to marik_jol@hotmail.com. Thanks, Jolan Tru ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Never Know What Your Missing" cont'd... Part Four The rangers heard Alpha, but it did not register immediately. Alpha knew the whole story. Andros almost completely lost himself. The physical trauma he endured healed but the mental and emotional trauma never healed completely. Then when Zane was hurt and Andros was forced to put in cryostasis, Andros nearly lost it completely yet again. But things started looking up for Andros. He met the earth rangers and started opening up again, actually living. To make things better Zane awoke from the sleep. Things seemed be back to normal. And Andros surprised, Alpha by taking Carlos as the third, where Tobius was. Carlos did not know but the cuff he wears is actually Tobius'. "Oh, my......Nikkolo tortured Andros." Ashley said not holding back her tears of frustration, anger, and shock. TJ just fell back into a chair. Cassie just looked at Alpha. Cassie spoke. "That explains some of his attitude when we first met up. He did not want to feel again. His reaction is clear now." "Alpha there is something else you are leaving out. His reaction was even more horrible than expected when he thought Zane had died. It looked as if he had been through it once before. It ran to deep." TJ said. Alpha thought that TJ was very perceptive. He is one swift cookie. Alpha was about to speak when DECA burst in. "Spacial disturbance is forming...." Just before the female voice finished a swirling vortex appeared. It undulated and spit out three very disheveled rangers. Zane was completely naked. Andros and Carlos were crumpled in a heap. "Andros...Carlos....Zane." The rangers said in unison moving toward the injured rangers. Cassie fell on her knees beside Zane. She rolled him over and checked for a pulse and respiration. He was breathing roughly. She quickly scanned him and noticed he was absolutely unclothed. She took her jacket off and covered Zane's waist . Ashley and TJ were at Andros and Carlos' side. The separated the two and assessed the injuries. Carlos was breathing and so was Andros, but Andros was unresponsive while Carlos kept mumbling a name "Tobius". TJ yelled at Alpha. "Get the portable stretchers!" "Will do? We only have two. Oh me oh my." Alpha panicked. "That's fine we will put Andros and Zane on the stretchers. And I can carry Carlos to the infirmary." TJ said as he scooped up. They packed up their charges and TJ headed for the lift. He noticed that Carlos was beginning to wake slightly. His head turned and he squinted at TJ. "TJ...." He said in a whisper. "Los you are home." TJ said trying to soothe Carlos. Carlos' eyes rolled back and out he went. _====_ Suddenly there was light. I tried to open my eyes, but it was to painful. I could hear voices, more like whispers across the room. I tried to stifle a moan but could not. I wondered where I was. Last thing I remember..... "Nikkolo...." I said sitting bolt upright. Causing my head to swim. I started to feel nauseated. Suddenly I heard a soft voice and a strong hand on my shoulder guiding me back down. "Shhh....Carlos lay down. You seem to have some side effects of the dimensional leap. How do you feel?" TJ asked. I opened my eyes all the way. "Like a zord stepped on me." My response initiated a smile on his face. "Hows Zane and Andros? Are they alright? Zane was hurt and Andros I don't know what was wrong with Andros." "Shhhh....there alright. Zane, is fine. He is asleep now. He had some serious internal injuries due to the....." TJ trailed off. TJ seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden. "You knew where we were. You figured it out." "Actually Alpha did. We were concerned and worried. I wanted to get my chance with this Nikkolo character in a padded room and no witnesses." TJ said. I grinned despite myself. Suddenly I remembered and a new panic ensued. I reached up and grabbed his forearm. "Is Zane infected? Is he?" "He was....it seems that he expelled it somehow. His temperture is down and he is ok. Andros still hasn't woke up." TJ whispered. "Where's Cassie and Ashley?" I asked. "There in bed getting some rest. They stayed in here with the three of you for a day and a half until I convinced them to get some sleep." TJ said yawning. I closed my eyes and tried to find Andros and Zane in my mind. Zane was there finally as strong as he was. His mind was troubled but he was back. Andros was a different matter. He was there but he was blocking me. A very strong block. I turned my head to look in his direction. "TJ I need to get up. I need to see Andros and Zane. Please only for a short bit." I asked. He looked thoughtful. "OK, but slowly." He helped me up. I threw off the cover. I was just wearing my shiny black undersuit. He helped me up and let me stand for a second to catch my balance. He stood there and just looked at me. I grabbed his arm and we walked a few feet to where I could stand between Zane and Andros. I first looked at Zane, he was on his back. Breathing evenly. I leaned over and brushed the hair away from his eyes. There was a cut there along the hair line. I was careful to miss it. He stirred slightly as I rubbed his cheek. His eyes opened. "Carlos...." Zane said quietly. I shushed him and kissed him on the forehead. I moved on to Andros. The blank look on his face worried me. I tried once again to contact him mentally but got no where. I reached up to stroke his hair. He moved slightly and a hand came up to my hand it shook. And to my surprise his mouth moved. He mumbled something. TJ must have caught some of that. "What did he say?" He said looking at me puzzled and a little surprised. "He called me Tobius." I said not knowing anything else to say. "Who is ....What is Tobius?" He asked. "Tobius was Andros and Zanes third. Tobius was kidnapped by Nikkolo and was infected with the spore. Tobius didn't survive." I said. "And Andros could do nothing." Part Five Zane, Andros and I stayed in the infirmary for a day and a half. I was not so much injured as exhausted. Andros had a bit of emotional and psychological trauma from the past that hit him all at once. Zane was both physically and psychologically injured. He was quiet and stayed to himself. When I would come in he would say hi and make small talk. But you can tell from the way he moved and his lack of excitement weighed heavily on him. I wanted to know how he wound up there at Nikkolo's fortress. But I hesitated for now. He needs time. I came to our quarters and Zane was on the couch laying down and Andros was in at the small table looking at something. When I came in I could feel a mental buzz traveling between them. In the past I would not have butted in but now I can. I projected at them. "Hey dear, how are yall feeling." They both gave a mental start and turned to look at me. "Hey Carlos," Andros said. Zane looked at me and smiled. "What were you two talking about when I came in? And don't tell me that you weren't." I said grabbing a chair, turning it around and straddling it. "Ahh...nothing." Zane started to say and Andros was fixing to say the same thing. But I threw them a look that said I will not have any of that. "We were thinking of Tobius." Zane said sitting up on the couch. He still seemed troubled. Andros just looked down at the table. I thought it may be time to cover that topic. "Hmmm." I said getting up to change into my sweatsuit. "Andros, Zane. I am worried about the two of you. I seem so lost. You two have went through such horrible times. First your sister, Andros, then Tobius and then Zane. Then the two of us nearly lose Zane. I want to help. Will you talk to me, please." I said. I moved over to the couch where Zane was and crawled in behind him. Wrapped an arm around him, and pulled him to my chest. He took a quick look at Andros. Andros got up and came over to sit on the floor beside me and Zane. "I don't know what I would do if I lost the two of you. I have never ever lost anybody before. And Zane I get so angry with myself that I was unable to protect you from this." I said. I felt Zane tense. To ease him I kissed him right behind the ear. Some of the tension went away. I looked over to Andros. He had his back to us and all I could see was the rise and fall of his shoulders and could hear some muted sobs. My heart breaks and I feel so frustrated and helpless in how to help them. Zane started to speak and drew my attention and Andros' even if he did not face us. "The things he made me do....the things he did to me...And all the time my bond with you weakened. I could not feel you, sense you. It hurt. It hurt......" He paused a second. "I kept feeling I was betraying the both of you." Zane said. Slowly he started to tell us the story. "It was quiet on the Mega Winger. I couldn't help but think of Andros and Carlos. Hoping that things were doing well. I should be getting back soon. Just one last stop. Suddenly one of the alarms went off and I rushed to the bridge and the proximity alarm was screaming. I was bearing in on an asteroid. But it was no ordinary asteroid. As I reached to the controls to alter course I was blinded by a flash of light.The light subsided and I found myself strapped to a wall huge chains. I struggled . All I can." Zane paused. He seemed to be mustering the strength to continue. I stroked his hair and laid a hand on Andros' shoulder. I felt his hand come up and grip mine. "I was exhausted. I just went limp. I tried to call for you through the link but it was useless. I couldn't some how he was able to block it. For the first time I realized that I was not alone in the room. Beside me was another prisoner. He was young. So very young." Zane said as his voice broke. I could tell over the link what he was thinking. "I tried to speak to him but all he would do was hang his head. I wondered what was happening. Then Nikkolo appeared. My cellmate started to whimper and howl. Nikkolo proceeded to rape him right in front of me. I fought and fought to get at him to help him. I seemed to have gotten the bastards attention because he looked at me very cruelly." Zane continued this time the anger showing in his voice. I sat quietly. Now Andros had turned around his head buried in my lap. All I could feel and sense is anger, pain, and guilt. It was almost all I could bare. But I needed to for them. I had to try to keep myself from breaking down. I needed to be strong for both of them. Zane had his eyes closed. "He and my young visitor disappeared. I was all alone for hours. Then it came my turn. One second I was on the wall, next in a doorless and windowless room. The room was cold so very cold. I was completely naked. I looked around the room. I noticed a crumpled figure over by one wall. I crept over to it. It was my cellmate he was beaten bruised and bleeding from every...." This time as he stopped Zane started curling into a ball and slid to the floor. Andros finally came out of his funk and tried to reach and catch Zane. He had his arms around him rocking him. Zane was mumbling something about being so alone. I got down in the floor and got face to face with him. "Zane you are not alone. You will never be alone. Nor you Andros." I said. Andros just looked at me. "Carlos is right.....we will never be alone. As long as we have each other." Andros said. A few minutes later he got hold of himself. He looked at us, there was pain, fear and horror in his eyes. "I tried to care for him but....my turn came. I was tortured raped over and over. I hurt, my body could not function. And all throughout this I was ashamed and guilty. Finally they released me. I huddled in a corner wanting to just shrink away. But I remembered my charge on the other side of the room. I crawled over to him. I fared better since I have been through this bef...." He stopped in his tracks. Finally it all came together, the nightmares and Tobius. Zane was raped once before and most likely had to watch Tobius. Now I could not hold back my tears. I buried my eyes in the nape of Zane's neck. "Zane, shh....You don't have to go on." I said. He must not want to hear me "I pulled his head into my lap. He was barely breathing. He looked at me. He smiled. And then that was it. I felt his gratitude. He did not die alone. I howled and beat the walls. Crawled and curled in one corner hoping to die." Zane finished and all I could do was rock him. I could not imagine going through that. We sat there for a few seconds more, holding each other, crying and just trying to get Zane to feel better. Andros still looked bad but he would not talk about himself. It was getting late and we crawled into bed. Zane on one side of me and Andros on the other side. Zane fell off to sleep. Andros turned on his side away from me. He seems to be distancing himself. For now I will just wait and sit back. I curled up next to Zane and went to sleep. Sometime during the night, I felt a bit of terror creep into my mind. I woke up slightly and noticed that for a change Zane was sleeping peaceful. But the bed shook slightly. It was Andros. He got up and rounded the side of the bed. Walked over to a drawer in the wall and pulled out something. I didn't move. I laid there and just watched and kept a little eye on his mind. He turned and walked out of our quarters. I tried to call him back but he was blocking me. And when I could get through. All I could sense was him saying to himself , "Just like Tobius....", over and over again. I was real worried. I looked over at Zane and wondered if I should leave him and go after Andros. I did not want Zane to wake up alone for now. I pressed the but on the comm panel. "TJ....TJ this is Carlos." I heard a drowsy voice. "Yeah Carlos, is something wrong." I could visualize my former bunkmate rubbing his eyes. "Yes and no. Andros just flew out of here like mad man and I need to go after him but I do not want to leave Zane alone for now." "You want me to sit with Zane?" TJ said. "Yeah if you would." "Sure, be right there." He said. And sure to his work he was there five minutes later. "TJ if you need me call me. Zane is doing better but he still is not acting right." I said. I left Zane in TJ's care. And went in search of Andros. _===_ I asked the onboard computer where Andros was. It said he was headed for the hangar deck. I broke into a mad run. I got there just in time to see him enter the hangar deck. I slowed down. I had decided to first see what he was doing. He sat down in the corner where there was a little light. I know he couldn't see me. He sat heavily and leaned his head back. He looked like he was taking deep breaths. Suddenly I felt a tinny sounding laugh in my head. It was Andros. "Carlos, you don't have to pretend to be asleep or hide. I can feel you thinking over there." I felt a little guilty for spying. "Sorry. Just worried about you I felt a vein of terror from you." "Just a nightmare. That's all." I decided to get up and walked over there to him. "What's that you have in your hand?" I asked. "Oh this," He said. Handing it to me. I took it and looked at it. It was a simuchip. "What is this, Andros. I know it is a simuchip but what is on it." "It was made a few years back. It was our...." He broke off as a lump caught in his throat. He got up and went over to the other side of the room. I got up to follow him. I found him standing facing a bench, he was leaning on his knuckles on the bench top. His head he had hanging and I could see he was crying. I walked over and put an arm on his shoulder. He turned to me and buried his head in my chest and let it out. He cried for a while. Slowly his sobs had lessened. He looked up at me and slightly grinned. " Sorry." "Don't be. There is nothing to be sorry for." I said wiping the tears out of his eyes. "It is a holo-vid Zane ......Tobius and I made a day before Tobius and I wound up in the fortress." He said pausing. "The day before he died." He took the chip and put it in the player. The vid-player came up and I was looking at a scene of jovial fun. It was a few years in the past. Andros has his hair a little shorter and he did not look so cynical. The holo-cam changed view and a very youthful handsome individual appeared. He had a very lively aura. A big grin. Told Zane, who was holding the camera, to put it down. Andros tackled him and the rolled on the floor. Laughter was everywhere. They were happy. The camera switched hands, Andros took it and Zane walked behind Tobius. Zane wrapped his arms around him in a bear hug. Zane was somber, more restrained it seemed not as excitable. The thing that caught my eye was Zanes hair was longer. It fell just below his ears. As he walked around, he kept pushing the hair behind his ears. The camera tilted then leveled out. Must have been put on a stand I thought. Zane, Andros and Tobius stood huddled, looking at each other. Andros picked something up off the table. It was a black, ornate box. I recognized the box. Andros opened the box, and looked at Zane and Tobius. Zane reached in and pulled out a cuff as did Tobius. When Tobius picked up the cuff, I instinctively reached for mine and rubbed it. I saw a hand reach over and flick the vid off. I turned to Andros. "My cuff is not one that your parents didn't use. It was Tobius'." I said in awe. I could see a tear in his eye but he was not sad or grieving. He brought his hand up and with a finger traced the length of my jaw. Andros shook his head and gave me a shy smile. "Yes. It was his. I am sorry that I mislead you. But I do not bring Tobius up in front of Zane previously." "Andros, why?" As I asked I knew just by the look in his eyes. "He was there when he died." Andros got a strange look on his face and turned around. I reached around his waist and held him tight. Andros finally responded. "Zane held him as he died. I was unconscious." "Oh my." I held him tighter. "That's where the nightmares came from. And why you never continued wearing the cuffs." "Yes, Zane was never the same. He became somewhat reckless. He calmed down eventually but he was never the same." He paused. "It was roughly a year later when I had to put Zane in a cryo tube. I was not going to lose him. And when he awoke, I was elated. He seemed better. But the real turning point was when he met you. You know he knew I was very much in love with you. And when he got to know you, he started to act like the old Zane. He did not seem as alone or guilty. He was happy." Andros said with a smile on his face. "I knew that I loved you. And I knew I could never be apart from you. You know when I realized it." I was curious. "When?" "Well remember when I went to KO-35 in search of my sister and you were hurt. We had gotten rid of Ecliptor for the time being. I was on the ski machine and you came in. You were not mad at me or whatever. You knew I was in search of my sister. I knew right then I loved you. I never knew I could love anyone that way since..." He lowered his head then brought it up to look me in the eyes. "Tobius." My heart filled with such a feeling. I threw my arms around him. "Neither did I." A voice said from the area near the door. We both turned and saw Zane standing there. I wondered for how long. I told Zane, "You need to be in bed. Where's TJ?" As I said that TJ came barreling down the hall. "I am sorry." TJ said. I just laughed. "No worry TJ everything is fine. Thanks." He looked at each of us and turned to head back down the corridor. Zane looked at me. "Now you know what. You are a mother hen." I grinned real big. The real Zane had returned. "And who will take care of you if I don't." Andros laughed. "Well I tried but he is hard headed." Zane swiped at him. We all laughed. As the laughter died down, we got quiet. "Zane are you alright." I asked. "And you Andros?" He stood there for a second his eyes hooded. "Yes, in time but for now I am fine." Andros looked at Zane smiling. "Just fine." "Well then let's get to bed." The morning came early. Zane and Andros slept. No signs of nightmares. I woke them up for breakfast. It seemed everything was back to normal. We went to the mess hall and ate. Then we got up in the lift and headed to the bridge. Everybody else was there they turned to us. Zane and Andros was unawares. They walked over to one of the stations talking. I looked at them and just grinned.