Date: Tue, 6 Apr 2004 23:54:42 EDT
From: J
Subject: PETER PAN AND ME part 30

CHAPTER 30: THE LONELINESS OF BEING SETH AND CHASE
aka THE LONELINESS OF BEING ME

A sword blocked the fire from Peter. The flames hit the metal of the
sword and split into the sides. "Peter!" John was there, flying, a
spirit. Holding the sword. "Peter, you forgot this!" John threw the
sword to Peter, "Catch!"

Peter, also a spirit smiled, caught the sword, and swung. The fires
around him parted. His hand with the sword tingled and the tingle moved
through his whole body. "But John, it's too late!"

The zombie Chase came forward and with a knife in his hand cut Peter's
backhand. Peter yelped. He looked at Chase. At the me of this future that
might happen, betrayed. It was in his eyes. He had been betrayed by his
one true love, a feeling I could come to know well in another life in
alternate universe, the real world if you will.

John called, "No! Peter, you're in an alternate universe! You have to
get out of here!"

"I'll use my blood to open a vortex. But what about you?"

"Oh me?" John was not at all upset for himself, "I can go most places.
This is the future that might happen, not what will. If you don't go
back, this will happen to the others!"

"Time to die!" Seth moved forward with the Lost boy zombies and Chase,
also a zombie, came at Peter with a knife in both hands now. "Again!"

Peter felt so good now that he huffed and blew the fires out with his
breath. John grabbed Peter's arm, "Time for me to teach you how to fly
now!"

"What?" Peter gasped as he was dragged off.

John dragged Peter's spirt out of the hole of the underground house and
Seth fumed. Literally. He shot fire out after them but missed. Outside,
John dragged Peter through the flaming skies. They saw a New York City on
fire, a San Francisco bridge collapsed under melting girders, and more.
The entire world seemed in flames here. "That way, Peter!" John gasped.

"So that's how I got here!" Peter saw the disembodied head of the Time
Guard. "The Time Guard!"

"He's still after you!" John yelled, "But you have to go right through
him to get back to where you want!"

The Time Guard opened his mouth to speak of revenge at Peter but Peter
looked at John, his face innocent and scared, like the little boy he was.
Then suddenly something came over Peter's face. A look John knew well. A
do or die face. A face of pride, and of joy in danger. His forehead
furrowed and he smiled an almost evil smile. Then, almost as if to fool
John as much as the Time Guard, and maybe even himself, Peter rushed head
long at the Time Guard's open mouth. The entity was talking but Peter
wasn't listening. He dove straight into the creature's mouth, his bloody
hand out, issuing blood from the back of one hand, and found himself in a
vortex.

"NOOOOO!" Seth in this alternate world screamed and flew out at the
skies. John was gone now. He flew back to heaven. "YOU! YOU LET HIM GO!"
Seth pointed and his fingernails shot long lines of fire and lightning
at the Time Guard and the entity exploded into a million fragments,
bursting forth. "NOOOOOOO!" Then this Seth vanished and this world began
to change...perhaps into something much worse.

Dodging trees left, right, and center, I flew as fast as I could through
the Deep Woods area, the green and blue of the hazy Neverland illuminated
by red and yellow fires. Overwhelming feelings of panic spread from my
chest and heart to my upper neck and lower gut, which was bare to the
world. I sped and was not mindful of the trees or rocks that could stop
me cold. Something caught my eye on the floor of the forest and I zoomed
to it quicker than ever before. It was reddish skinned. It was a dead
Native American. He was face up. His chest was ripped open as though by
claws. There are neverbears in Neverland but this looked nothing like a
bear claw ripping. At least as far as I could tell. I'm no expert. His
eyes were open horribly. Staring at the sky. In fear. He was afraid when
he died. He had scars o his belly too and his intestines hung out
horribly, some missing. I gagged and choked. His hands were clawed as
though he was in great pain when he died or fighting to the end. Against
something inhuman. I was landed next to him to check him but realized
there was nothing to check really. I hovered for a bit and looked at him.
I started to leave but turned in the air. He looked familiar. Then it hit
me. This was the Native American that almost killed Jennie and I and was
somehow stopped by a stare from Seth. I gulped. Seth! Maybe this was him?
In even more panic, I took off, leaving the body to the animals of
Neverland, those not fleeing the fires. I flew like an arrow at a target.
I landed in the Underground house, not even recalling coming through the
hole toward it. I breathed heavy. Puffing.

There, Seth held a bag. "What's in the bag, Seth?" I gasped, "Open it
up!"

Seth looked hurt, "What? What's wrong?"

"You, you're wrong." I gasped out, "What have you been doing to me? To
us?"

Seth put the bag down, "It's just...what do you mean?"

"I must have been blind not to see it before. It's you. It's been you all
the time. Tell me something," I was angry now, "Was it you who killed
Peter?"

Seth opened his mouth and laughed a hurt laugh, "What? Me?"

I heard landings behind me. Feet. Bailey was there with Bo and Barry and
Jennie. Bailey said, "What's going on?"

"What's going on with you?" I didn't stop staring at Seth, who stared
back. Then he floored his eyes. I opened the bag, and saw hammers and
wood. "He's helping?"

"Of course, he's been a big help. The others are back already," Bailey
said, "And started on the ark already."

"I found what I could here that we could use for wood," Seth said,
"Rather than cut some more trees."

I could see the table we used to use in the bag, cut up and wrecked and
one of the smaller beds we never used. "Good," I gulped, "Seth, I'm not
sure about you any more..."

Seth looked up, "You don't think that I...me...could kill Peter?"

"I don't know what to think any more, I really don't."

Seth looked, "I want off this island. I don't want to be here." He
grabbed my shoulders, "That doesn't mean I would act crazy. Peter could
have gotten me off easiest. Why would I?"

I pulled free of his hands and moved off to face the wall, "It doesn't
matter any more. Does it? I mean I don't think we can get you or the
animals off in time anyway. The fires are too great. If they don't die
out soon, we will."

Seth looked at the boys. Jennie looked back into his eyes and saw
something human. The human part of Seth.

Now most of you, dear readers are probably wondering what the hell it is
with Seth. Why he's so conflicted. Well, he is part demon, part human.
The dual roles fighting each other, in conflict with each other. He wants
to kill. He wants to escape. He wants to be friends. He wants to make
Neverland a living hell, he wants to stop the fires. He wants to please
his father, satan. Yet his human side wants to fight against his father.
His mother was human, named Rosemary.

"Let's go help the others." I said, with resolve.

We worked all night into day and into night again. On first light of
daybreak, I took a break, for we all needed to "do our business" and eat.
As I sat there and ate fruit, I admired the boys. Our boys, Peter. The
Lost boys. They didn't look so lost now. There was Sole, white bandana
around his long blond hair, yet it still flowed. He had a nice vee back.
The heat from the forest and the fires were unstoppable it seemed and
sweat glistened off his body creating a vast sheen of brilliance. Sole
was slim but there was no fat on him at all. Of course, I didn't look
upon our boys in a sexual way, but I did notice their artistic merits and
beauty. They did so look more and more like Peter every day. And they
grew some more. I hadn't taken a measurement in a long time. Sole had
tremendous resolve and fortitude and he was not about having fun all the
time. In that role, he was more like me. He had these beautiful blue eyes
and an innocence both Peter and I never had separately. Together we
forged that in him somehow. Somehow Angelic even after all he's seen in
Neverland, he also possessed fierce leadership qualities and fairness and
hardness all mixed as one bright shining package.

There was dark Je'ne, hammering away on the sides of the ark. Slender,
tanned, long curly hair which went straight in the smoke. Thick runner's
legs. The heat made the boys forego even more of their clothes so they
were all but naked. The hot wind blew through his black hair. Brown eyes
revealing his determination to make this ark the best it could ever be.
He was innocent too, though much more serious about it then Sole. Both
were the backbone of the lost boys at the moment and would be for some
time to come.

Sweat poured over their chests and in between their pecs and downward.

Rollin. Frizzy black hair. Black eyes. A bit of baby fat leaving his body
as he worked diligently. He brought the others water and food so that
they could work almost all the time, non stop. He also pitched in and
carried wood to them. Almost non stop. He stopped once to masturbate. But
that was Rollin. He had to. He looked so much like a prize fighter now,
his muscles bulging from the hard work. He also cut some of the wood too.
Just needed to rub his own for a awhile and buckets of cum would flow
when he did.

Jennie was the nail holder. Cute little Jennie. Something was bothering
him. Perhaps it was Peter's death or being gone. Perhaps it was the idea
we were leaving Neverland. But would I leave? I was never one to think
that the body was the person. The spirit was what counted. And Peter's
spirit was not in the ground with that body. Jennie had multi colored
hair at the moment, mostly bright golden and a mix of brown and red. He
brought nails to everyone. The elephants had pulleys on them and helped
lift the boys to needed parts of the upper ark to work.

Aoi. Fierce. Perhaps the boldest and best fighter among them. Knew forms
of self defense and offense I've never heard of. Peter taught him almost
all of it. Short but hard bodied and tight. Smooth like the others but
more so. His eyes held the mischievousness of Rollin, the seriousness of
Je'ne, and the leadership of Sole. I think he could take on a whole army
by himself now. Peter's death made him stronger I think. He had a great
set of abs, like most of the other boys but his stood out among even
them. And he worked hard. In all manner of that word.

Rico. Spanish spit fire. Like Pare. I always get confused as to which one
is Mexican and which one is Spanish. Rico was so much like Pare, they
might have well been twins. Both built with tight little bodies and
smooth hairless ones at that. Fast and quick. Even though they were
hairless, for their young age, like most of the Lost boys now, they oozed
testosterone, which seemed impossible, for they were not...well, since
Peter died, they were growing up, my measurements proved that. They would
become men. Maybe it was time to measure them again. Not fast but they
were growing. That night, for we worked right into the next night, I
measured them again and they had not grown at all. Phew. That was a
relief. How old does a boy have to be before they ooze man juices? Before
they can cream in their shorts or loin cloths as the case may be? I be
darned if I knew.

Landen. He worked as hard as the other boys. He gathered what birds he
could, for he had Peter's predilection for birds and could get them to do
what he wanted. I think, like Peter, he thought he was once a bird, or
perhaps Peter convinced Landen that he was once a bird. He helped build
too in between helping the animals out of fires and the thick of the
smoke. Little blond Landen. I was sure, of all the boys, that he was gay.
I hoped he would accept it early on in his life, if and when he decided
to grow up. When and if ever he left Neverland. I would try to help him.
Help him accept it faster than I accepted my own gayness. Not avoid it,
or ignore it or deny it. Or use excuses for it, trying to prove you are
gay. Even so, I wanted the best for him, he had a great heart, the
softest of the boys, perhaps even more so than Jennie.

Bailey. Macho man redhead. I know there are those among you who think
redheads are always pale skinny things. Bailey disproves this. He was
dark tanned, pale upon first coming from Ireland. Growing up on the
streets of hard Northern Ireland left him tough, loyal to his brothers,
and yet against religion altogether. He hated religion for it caused
wars. He was hard bodied, lean, and I think he must have stole food from
a chef, for he only ate the best foods. He and his brothers were very
fit. And I do so love their freckles. They don't have many but what they
have make them look really cool and handsome.

Barry was like Bailey only not as much a tough one. He was a fighter
though and would fight alongside any of us. Of the boys, I know Barry and
Bo least. Barry I know more than Bo. Bo never says a word. He's
electively mute. I try to get to know him more but it's difficult. He
smiles at me a lot. And I'm sure he and Jennie talk telepathically to
each other, which I'm not sure is a good thing. If Bo is to talk out
loud, he needs not to have a backup to rely on. But Jennie means well and
the two have become close, almost as close as brothers.

It was during these thoughts during that day and early night that Seth
brought up, many times, the other problem, "So how are you gonna get the
other animals to get onto the ark?"

"Now that it's done?"

"Yeah, they'll burn before they come to the lost boys, who are used to
skinning them."

"Yeah but mostly after they've been killed by each other or the Indians
or pirates."

"Still, the problem exists."

"There's another too," I offered, as if I needed another.

"What's that?"

"None of us have Peter's skill at navigating or sailing a ship."

"Oh."

Anyway, I prodded Olivveral the fairy boy to get the other fairies who
were leaving to fly the ship. The animal problem was solved less easily.
Landen came flying to me just as the sun was setting. The ark was done.
The fires were spreading and he was in a panic. "Come quick!"

I flew up to him, waving to the others to stay and check the ark for any
last minute fixes, "What's wrong, Landen?" I tried to sound cheerful but
I was tired.


"It's Nico!" Landen yelled, "COME ON!"

Nico was Wendy's wolf. He was running and as he ran, a flaming tree was
falling and the tree was so tall it would fall right on. I saw this and
Landen saw this and the flaming tree moved down at him. I didn't
hesitate. I flew with my feet out first and kicked the flaming tree,
laughed loudly as Peter might have done and diverted the tree away from
Nico. It crashed near him, flaming away. Burning more trees. He stopped
to look at me. Nico came closer to me, showing fangs. "Easy boy, I just
saved your life."

"Chase, father, don't let him near you!" Landen called down.

Nico came closer and as I bent on one knee he came to me and nuzzled my
chin and licked my cheek. Over and over again. I put my arms out and he
came into them and I hugged him. I missed my dogs. I loved animals,
especially dogs. "Nico...."

"Chase, Jennie's here!" Landen yelled, his arm around the little boy.
The pair flew down and behind them, was Bo, one of the redheaded
triplets.

"What? What are you all doing here?" They all landed near us.

"They insisted on landing," Landen looked around nervously as if the
entire forest were about to fall on us and set us on fire, and perhaps it
was.

Jennie touched Bo's hand with his hand and they locked fingers. I was
puzzled. What was happening? Jennie put one hand on my heart and Bo put
his free hand toward the wolf. "Wait, Bo, that's a dangerous and wild
animal, go easy..."

Bo looked at me and smiled. His smile warmed my heart and I smiled too.
This dangerous animal was just cuddling with me. Bo put his free hand on
the wolf's under neck. It allowed me and Nico to directly communicate. Bo
knew we could not waste time doing it the normal way.

As we conversed, Landen turned to see my lion approaching. They were on
the path heading for us and to Landen, they looked hungry. He shook with
fear, seeing the entire family of lions behind the first one. "Chase!"

"Shh, Landen! Wait!" I was intent on studying this new power I was
seeing in Bo as well as Jennie's increasing ability to telepathically
connect others. I didn't see the lions yet. I looked at the wolf.
"Nico, I know that you made a promise to Wendy, when she asked you to.
You stayed to watch over Peter. It's why you and the other animals never
aged, at least most of them. But you....now that Peter's gone, why do you
still not age?"

It was my thoughts and my feelings. But Bo was speaking. Jennie was
translating and they were being passed to Bo who used his power to
communicate with animals. The first time I realized he had this power.
Then something amazing. Bo spoke. In Nico's words, "Because Peter lives
on in you, Chase. Peter is not dead. He's in your heart and mind and
love."

I had to take some moments to let it sink in that Bo spoke. I looked at
him with love in my heart. "Will you get the animals to come into the
ark?"

"Yes and we will have help."

"Help?"

"Hel...help..." squeaked Landen, gulped as he moved and I saw my
lions on the path. "Good," I said. "You'll all work together?"

"We've done it before."

Ahh, yes, when the volcano threatened to erupt and Peter and Wendy took
over the Jolly Roger and forced the pirates under Hook to take the
animals off Neverland Island. But it turned out the volcano wasn't going
to destroy all Neverland.

Soon, all the animals, including the Neverwhatever creatures that Wendy
could not name, were on the ark and I knew what to do. Putting fingers to
my mouth, I whistled. Like Peter. I could not whistle well before. But
now...the fairies rose from the mountains, parts that were not on fire
and they flew through the nighting sky toward the ark. Massive armada of
fairy lights. "Head for the Azores!" I told them and I knew the animals
would be safe on the islands where humans would not prowl and the fairies
would keep them there. Seeing our ark fly was a sight not to be missed.

"All our hard work," Je'ne said, "But Chase...why didn't we go with
them?"

It was an answer I didn't have. I looked around. "The fires, look. They
are dying down."

"I wonder why," Landen pondered.

"I don't know but we deserve a rest," I said, "We worked two straight
days. Time for bed while we have a chance."

"Shouldn't we just leave?" Bailey yawned.

"In the morning, we'll use one of the hot air balloons," I said.

The boys cheered. They loved the hot air balloons. Peter hated flying
that way but the boys loved it and he never let them fly in balloons.
"Our destination?" Seth asked.

"Where ever you want it to be," I said, "Kensington Gardens if you
want."

"How about Venice?"

"California?"

"Italy."

"Oh." I shrugged. "Why not."

"Okay we're going to go to sleep now, Seth. You can..."

"I'm going to sleep in my beach base," Seth said.

"That's what I was going to suggest," I snorted.

"Oh," Seth said. He looked discouraged.

"See you in the morning."

"Okay," Seth said, looking sad as he moved off, shoulders down. I could
tell he was hurt. Genuinely hurt. I didn't know it at the time but he was
the reason for the fires and he was the reason for the fires now settling
down some more. Something human came from him and something human made
him hold the fires back.

"Come boys," I put my arms around Jennie and Bo, "Time for sleep."

Je'ne looked as the fires abated, "Are you sure we won't be burned alive
in our sleep?"

"Yeah," I said, "The fires are no place near our house. Or by Seth's..."

"I know," Je'ne said.

My thoughts as we walked back to the house, yes, we walked, for the sky
was so filled with smoke, we had to walk not to choke. My thoughts as we
walked, yeah that's what I was saying. You see my narrative may not be
that great as I think of the love I lost. And I lost the greatest love of
my life. My heart is broke and still is. It will never be the same. Tears
are always on the verge of my eyes, tears. I guess what they say, it's
better to have loved than to never have loved at all is true but right
now it hurts me so much that I can't help but think it might be better
and safer to have not loved. To have stayed in that room so long ago that
he came to and took me out of. Not that he made me. I wanted to. My
thoughts went to Seth. He had no one. I had the Lost Boys. Ironic, since
without them I would be totally lost. And I guess they without me. I had
come to think of them as sons but more than that, they were my friends.
Seth was alone. Totally. I know how he feels. Well, not really. At least
in the past I had my family, before Peter. And I had friends. It wasn't
the same though. No, to have been loved by someone, even briefly, as
Peter loved me, was better. Peter changed me. He made me feel I was worth
something. Even if he didn't stick around to love me more. Sometimes I
wonder if he didn't love me enough or maybe he didn't love me at all. Did
he even know what love was? Is? Did he even think about how I felt? How
obsessed I was with him. Am obsessed with him. How horrible I feel. I
would have died for him. I wonder if he would have died for me? I was I
just the means to another adventure for him? To experiment with? My mind
went to Tyler, who seemed to have a crush on both Peter and I at various
times. I hoped he and his kingdoms got out alright or maybe the fires
didn't get that far. Someone ripped out my heart. I wonder if it was
Peter. Was his midnight stroll to death just another way for him to
experience a new game? A new adventure? Did he even stop to think about
how I'd feel finding him with a hole in his belly. Whenever he got a
tummy ache in the past I would rub it till it went away. Sometimes I
think he even faked it so I could rub his tummy, which I would have done
if he just asked me to, ache or not. I smiled as I thought of Peter and
Seth and Tyler. Lonliness makes us do strange things. Boredom makes us do
strange things. Say things. Love. What is it? Peter couldn't know what it
was, he was just a child who looked like a teen. Teens? What do they know
about love? Real love? They say this and they say that but they don't
know what they are talking about. They hurt. He hurts me. I hurt. So bad.
I feel like dropping down on the burned leaves and just staying there.
But then I see Jennie's eyes or Je'ne's concerned looks or Landen's
innocence and Sole's bravery and I know I have to go on. I know, thanks
to Peter, I am worth something. I just don't know if he knew it. He made
me feel. He made me love. And in that way. Yet I don't think he
reciprocated it. I don't think he knew how. I don't understand him. I
don't understand me. I know tomorrow we will leave Neverland forever and
I will leave Peter's body here forever. The thought makes me want to
vomit. I hate him. Fine line between love and hate. I hate him for
crushing my heart, stomping on it, for dying in the forest in some
insignificant fight with...with who? He didn't even die saving my life as
I thought he might some day or as I would die for him some day, at least
in my thoughts. I wonder if he ever thought about me. If he knew how I
felt. How I wanted him to be with me and me with him. In that way. Yes, I
admit it. I loved Peter in that way and I'm not ashamed of it anymore. I
hate it. I hate when people tell me how to feel. I want him back alive so
bad I can taste him in my mouth. His sweet sweat, his sugary breath, his
candy like tears, his gorgeous arm pits and his solid, boyish feet. Where
are you now? Are you somewhere safe and warm? Are you thinking of me or
are you with someone new? Are you sheltered from the storms? Are you in a
heaven? I dream of you every night. I think of you every second. I see
you in every face of our boys. I want to be like you. I want to be in
you. I want to be you. You fucking bastard. How can you do this to me? To
us? How can you leave me alone like this? I wish you were here so I could
kill you all over again. You mother fucker! I rage at you all the time. I
wish I could beat your ass! How could you make me feel like this? I want
to cry all the time. Do you, where you are? I bet you are going about
your day same as always, regular and all, just going about your heavenly
work, not even recalling my name. I bet when we meet again in heaven, you
won't even remember me! I wish you were here so I could kiss you all over
your body! I love you but you don't love me. You say you do but you
don't. When did the change happen from you saying that to you abandoning
me. Bored of me? I want to tell you off, to tell you what I think of you
and then tell you I never want to talk to you again. I want to have you.
In my arms and more. Oh, how I rage. My guts have been torn out like that
Indian in the Deep Woods, my eyes have been burnt like some animals that
didn't escape the fire, like the Were Forest Trees have been burned. My
heart is gone, ripped out and destroyed. I will not be the same. Thanks
to you. It's all your fault. You made me love you. Then I stop and calm
down. No. No, he didn't. He loved me and I loved him. It's what called
him to my room in the first place. He loved me because I'm a hopeless
romantic. I'm a lover, an imaginative innocent like him, like Landen,
like Jennie, only I'm older. Much much older. But I'm a big kid in a
small adult body. Now I'm even smaller in a kid's body. I wondered how
old I looked myself now. I certainly didn't seem to fit the bill of 11
anymore. Possibly 12 or 13 or even 14. I hate all of this. Without him,
life is meaningless. I loved him so much. And still do. And he just left
me and ignored me and now he thinks I'm obsessed and scary I bet.

Ahh, that's the Underground House holes. I remember him fitting me for
those. "I must now fit you for one of my holes," he said.

"WHAT?"

"So that you can fit in to my holes."

"Excuse me!??" I gasped. "What does that mean?"

"You know my stories, don't you? You know what that means?"

Of course I remembered but hearing him say it like that. I was turned on.
I was turned on now too. I put all the boys to sleep. Jennie and Bo slept
in a large basket that used to belong to Michael and the basket was
suspended over a small matt by a rope. It rocked gently to put them to
sleep as I pulled on the rope. Next to me slept Landen, one arm draped
around my chest. His gentle breathing soothed my rage. His cute air
coming from his nose and sometimes his mouth graced my skin and made my
chills go away. On the other side was Sole, his bigger body tight against
mine. Protectively, he too, draped his arms over me. On the other side,
past Landen, was Je'ne and Pare and Rico. All bunched together. Turning
would be hard tonight. I was hard tonight. Thinking of all these boys.
And Peter. Peter did this to me but I must say no one else ever had.
Ever. He made me what I am today. What was that? I wondered. I smiled and
shut my eyes, hearing Bo and Jennie snoring. Calm boyish moaning. It was
very hot this night. And to top it all off a lightning storm started.
Perhaps the fires and smoke sent off the clouds into being angry or
unstable but a fierce lightning storm hit. The holes, open, made the
raging outside, illuminate the underground house. Rain would be nice. The
rain buckets poised to move into position would shift gears and catch any
rain coming into the house and pour it into the holes that would make it
go deeper into the earth. I think the original Twins (also triplets) made
these inventions to give water back to the nature of the ground. Instead
of flooding Peter's house. My house now. A house I would say goodbye to
for ever. I cried quietly. Tears just sprang. My life would end tomorrow
when I left this island. This dream scape of nightmares and imagination.
But of whom? Of Peter's? Wendy's? Mine? All of ours? Who made Neverland?
Who kept it filled with mythical creatures and monsters? Where did the
fairies come from? There were still so many unanswered questions. The
lightning didn't wake the children but the thunder came and I feared that
would wake them. The thunder made me stop crying and take heed. Then I
was so miserable and lonely I fell asleep.

The storm was over. It was morning. Early. The boys were still all over
me. I was still aroused. I eased out from the pile of bodies and moved to
my hole and flew outside. The fairy boy was at my hole urging me to
follow him. He was tinkling and glowing. Even in the brilliant sunshine I
could tell that. Something was up. Outside I flew into a world that was
the Neverland of old. No fires. Even the smoke was gone. The brilliant
crisp colors flew all around my eyes. It was a joy to behold. I blinked
and laughed from the joy that filled the air. I knew the fires were gone
forever. I smiled. I flew around and saw no trace of the fires. The
Neverland renewed itself. Someone must have dreamed this. I wonder who it
was and where they were from. What time were they in? Was it Wendy
herself? Was it Peter from the beyond? I had a desire to see his grave. I
hadn't been there for some time. I wondered if it escaped the fires. I
flung my flight in that direction. The Neverland looked fantastic. The
air felt cool but warm at the same time. Comforting. Not stifling hot. I
felt like a blanket of protection were around me as I flew. I landed near
the grave. Suddenly, the ground there moved and before I could
investigate it, it flew up out of the grave and great chunks of rock and
stone and dirt just exploded upward in a massive burst of power. I
watched and didn't blink as sand and stone and miscellaneous pieces flew
at my very eyes. His headstone split in two. A form rose up out of that
power and splattering debris and the dirt shook and washed off him,
sleek body was moving the dirt away from him of its own accord. And that
voice. I knew it well, "I AM PETER PAN! AND I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

He flew up into the air and shut his eyes to drink in the Nevernevernever
land as it is sometimes called. He was renewed by the flight, he felt
great and I stared at him. At his bare feet sailing out of sight. Then I
flew up as fast as I could. I could fly fast. And he wasn't flying at his
fastest. I smashed into him from underneath and scooped up his body,
rubbing my body along his body. I laughed and he laughed. He hugged me. I
grabbed at him. I smushed his chest into mine, his stomach met my
stomach, both bare. I was hard as hell between us and rose up but I
didn't care if he noticed or not. I kissed his mouth, I threw my tongue
inside his mouth, he did the same to me. I twirled us in cotton candy
clouds. I made us descend, I dipped him back and brought him up again to
my mouth. I pressed him close to me, I hugged him, I fell on his neck. I
licked him. I kissed his chest, his nipples. He laughed. "Are you just
happy to see me?!?!?!?!"

"MMFFMFPFFHFFH!" I made us both fall but we were not that far from the
ground. We landed in a lush green and yellow grove where giant red
flowers opened and closed with gentle wind. Graceful bumble bees filled
yellow flowers with honey. They were giant bees but they left us alone.
He landed on his feet and almost fell as he knees bent but I fell to the
ground. I kissed the top of his feet, I kissed his toes. I forcibly
pulled his feet up, one at a time and kissed the bottoms of them. I
jumped up to full height and sprang into the air, feet off the ground,
and landed down again, on top of him, my arms on his shoulders, I dragged
him down with me and he played along. He landed on his back and I kissed
his chest, his belly button, licked it out. I bit his nipples. I kissed
every inch of his flesh. I stopped everywhere and kissed and kissed and
kissed. I made him wet and he made me wet. I licked. I turned him over. I
kissed his ass. I kissed everywhere. I humped on his backside. I laid on
him. I squeezed him. "Don't ever," I huffed, "Don't ever....don't ever
leave me again! I can't let you go again! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" I tried
to meld my body into his, to make us one, to make us a being of one
person. I loved him so much I wanted to be him and be in him and he in
me. He rolled me off him.

"Enough!" He laughed, "Aren't you gonna welcome me back?"

I laughed. "What do you want a cake?"

Peter smiled, wide-eyed, the power from my love and his love, all be it
for himself, was so strong, I felt it in the air. I thought I saw it. It
looked like lightning or thick manna from heaven. It manifested itself. I
tingled over every inch of my body. Peter rubbed my back bone and kissed
it and licked it. I arched my back. I think I cam. "I want more! Enough
of this!!!!!!" As I cam, I erupted and I jolted up in bed.

I was back in my bed. There was lightning. It was a dream. Sometimes a
dream is just dream. "Mother fucker!" I said, "It wasn't real. Peter's
still dead.... fuck me!" I leaned over and spied, past Landen's soft
forearm, my own belly. It was covered in white clumps of thick cum loads.
My navel was filled with the stuff. "Oh shit," I said softly.
"Peter....do you know what you do to me..." I didn't want to stir the
lost boys. "Peter's still seriously dead. Still serious about being
dead..." I sobbed but my chest and stomach moving would make the boys
wake up or worse: splay them with my own cum. If I remained very still,
it would dry and they might not notice. I'm sure they caught me one or
two times when Peter was alive, masturbating. Of course, Rollin knew all
about it but I'm not sure the others understood what he and I did,
separately of course. Peter would have whipped us good if he caught us
doing this adult thing. I laid back and cried silent tears. I fell asleep
again. He was dead and not coming back. That much was for sure. But that
dream was so real. "No." I gasped, "That's not fair. Not fair. I wish it
were real. To lose him again and again in that dream....it's so unfair.
Stop. No more dreams..."

"Dreams are good." I was asleep again. That was the only explanation.
For it was his voice again.

The lightning and thunder rambled on. His voice. I sat up, cum dripping
down my belly to my crotch. Sticky and making me feel primal. In the
faint light of the flashes, I saw a figure there. Shadowy. Hands on hips.
Hair glowing red. Eyes glowing red. Feet spread apart. Boyish, manly,
macho, and ready to spring to action. Peter. But not Peter. I squinted.
"You are just a dream."

"No, I'm a nightmare," Peter said and drew his knife and sword, "And
I'm going to kill all of you in my house!"


TO BE CONTINUED...

The play Peter Pan and its characters are trademarks of and copyright
J.M. Barrie