Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 10:33:39 EDT
From: J
Subject: PETER PAN AND ME 32

chapter 32: KICK OF ASS, KISS OF LIFE 

There's no way to say this gently. He was no child. Peter's dick was up
and huge, uncut against Seth's cut very large dick. I came back twice. I
looked. I gaped. Peter was awake now and stroking the back of Seth's
neck. Lightly. Like he'd to me hundreds of times. I couldn't take it. I
couldn't talk. Seeing this alone was enough to finish me off. Then he
turned and looked at me, Peter Pan with his black hair and brown eyes.
Nude. Completely. He smiled. I was chilled to the bone. I turned and ran
and ran and then I flew up, thinking about the boys. They needed me. How
could Peter do this to me? I swallowed. I could not get very high in the
air for my thoughts were impeding me. I stopped in the air, floating,
bobbing. This was some day. What could I do? Fight for Peter? He didn't
want me. What was the lady in the lake trying to tell me? I seemed to
forget. Seth was doing something to me, to us. I don't care any more. I
couldn't take Peter lying with another guy! I can't stand it. Then he was
there behind me. I turned in the air to see him. I was angry and I was
sad. I wanted to strike out but...I didn't. Coward! He had black nipples
to match his hair and now his pupils were totally black too but there was
an understanding there too. He meant what he was about to say. Or Seth
did. Or some deep evil part of Peter. Peter turned so that he stayed
behind me. I realized in my glimpse of him that he was still completely
naked. Bobbing up and down. Smiling. Mocking. Mocking me. Imitating me
and my thoughts. "Oh Peter, I can't live without you. How could you do
this to me, come back to me, oh grow up, you giddy big baby!"

I was crying. Immediately. I sobbed. The death of Peter was bad and now
this.

"I'm so old, Peter, make me young, take me with you. Live with your
parents and you're what? 40 years old? You big fat loser. You are so fat.
You're so special, you're a beautiful person. Pfffftt. Did you fall for
that? Did you actually think I meant that? You were so easy. So easy to
get here. And do you think I really love you just cause I say it!
HHHAAAAHAHAHA! What a sucker you are! I go off on adventures all the time
without you, what do you think I do when I go? I fuck other people,
that's what! I don't much, naw, Chase, I'm loyal to you! What a sap!
There's more sap in your head and body than on my outfit...which I seem
to have left behind in a place of someone who gives me more pleasure than
you do!"

"Peter, I...." Do you know what it is to have someone rip out your
heart? Tear out your guts? Your intestines? Slam your whole world into
the ground like your head to a curb?

"Peter..."

"Stop saying my name. Faggot. Gay boy. Homo, baloney smoker, puff!"
Peter laughed and turned to my face now. I couldn't really see him
through watery eyes. I turned away and he tried to turn to me again. But
instead he came up behind me and stroked my neck, "I did this to Seth and
it felt so much better than to you. Like it? Last time for you to feel
it!" He laughed again and came up to my ear with his lips, licked my ear
and said, "oh I hate snow, I hate Peter, I love Peter, all you do is
complain! I want..." He whispered now, " to be father and not mother.
Peter, I want to give you a thimble. What an empty life you have next to
my full life. You would kill me if I loved another, wouldn't you? You
prick. You are so ugly. Look at you. Look at your face and look at me.
Look at your body and look at mine. Do you think I could ever love
someone as ugly or average as you?'

I rubbed my eyes and yet they still streamed. He was using all my own
self doubts. Against me.

"I wanna hear a scary story with you under the covers. Did you think I
really wanted to do that with you? NO! And spiritual? If you were so
spiritual and sensitive, why didn't you realize that Seth was half demon,
half devil really. And half human. And that I was not dead! Nothing ever
dies. Only you! Cause you are dead inside."

I lowered in the air. I sunk. Peter kept following. He kept it going to,
"You disappoint me, son. You're a big disappointment. You're a virgin
aren't you? At your age? Oh my gosh, what's wrong with you? You can't get
laid?"

I knew this was not Peter. He didn't really know what most of these
things were. I bent in the sky and sobbed, my body wracked uncontrollable
grief and misery. We were still floating but lower. We had stopped for
the moment.

"You can't get girls or boys. You are a loser. A loner because you turn
everyone away from you cause of your non existent personality. You love
boys! What a pig you are. Not normal. And you're so violent. And vile."

I sank again and sobbed. I coughed like I could vomit but vomit wouldn't
come. I sobbed out loud and the eyes were so wet I couldn't see a thing.
My throat closed. My head spun. I sank lower. Peter followed, "You are
OLD, ALONE, and when I'm done with you DONE FOR! Hear me? Old alone done
for, you!"

Lower I sank. Soon I would be on the ground.

Peter followed, "And by the way, you make a lousy mother and a lousy
lover. Sex with you? Never, not me. That's why it's called never land,
get it?" He laughed loudly and slapped his knees. "Lousy father too. You
can't protect your boys. And when I'm done here with you, destroying your
whole heart, I'll go to town on your boys. They will not know what hit
them. I'll hunt them down and kill them and you cant's do anything.
Jennie and Bo too, I'll rip out their throats, none of your boys....they
won't know what...."

"HIT YOU!" Frankly, if Peter via Seth or the devil or whatever, had
continued railing against me in the same manner and stayed attacking my
personality, it would have worked. I thought so little of myself, that,
well, I was almost on the ground when he said this but now that he turned
his attack to the others, it just made me boil over from sad self misery
and pity to total anger and defensiveness for the loved boys. I wouldn't
let anyone hurt them. With the words that I finished, I spun around in
the air and used two fists together to punch Peter's jaw. The knock hit
him so hard that he flew sideways and hit a tree.

"OW!!!"

I didn't stop. I chased him and when I got there, Peter tried to hit me
with both his fists but I blocked them and grabbed his forearms. Peter
leaned up to kick me but I lifted my knees up to my chest and sprang my
feet forward onto Peter's shoulders and kicked him from me and downward.
He flew downward but I flew faster and got behind him, put out my fists
and let his lower back hit them. This kicked the wind out of him and he
fell. But I didn't stop, I flipped over his head and got in front and
kicked both feet into his stomach and as he flew the other way, I bolted
that way too and got behind him and used one foot to kick his ass. "I'M
GONNA FUCKING KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!" 

Actually I already had. But I was in a rage against the machine. I didn't
really know what that meant, even as an adult, although if I gave it any
mind, I would have figured it out sooner or later. But in a rage, I
scissored his body with my legs and spun around with him. He flew off and
then regrouped to come at me again. I saw in his face a recovery and he
was determined to get me. That bent down brow revealed it all. That evil
smile. He flew at me. I flew at him and smacked my mouth into his and
kissed him in a hard fight, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him and
then I kicked him between his legs. He went flying backward and I came up
over his head and stepped with both feet on him there and pushed down. I
then unfolded myself from the sky with a flop downward from feet to head
and met his feet, which I jerked up and pulled. As I did this, I bent
again and flew out and pushed hard against him, fist on one side and foot
on the other. I gave chase and smashed my head into his back and punched
too. He tried to turn to fight in martial arts style but I blocked and
blocked and blocked using moves he showed me in ju jitsu but I also threw
in my own moves, which he didn't know. I improved. Daunted by my
defenses, he flew up over me but I flew straight up and into him like a
torpedo. Think: a dolphin hitting into a shark's belly. This made him
fold. On his way down, I hit his neck twice with karate chops and then
point foot kicked his shoulders again as his body passed me by.

I followed in my red faced rage. Peter turned to try to stop himself from
hitting the ground but I backhanded him both ways. I kicked him and he
tried to grab my arms but I head butted him in the forehead and then the
stomach. He fell and this time he didn't stop. He flew to the ground and
landed hard on it. His head bumped on the dirt. I flew down toward him,
still in a rage and as I landed sideways on his body, I realized I had to
stop it. For his hair was blond again, his nipples their right color. His
eyes their velvet ocean blue. I laid on him and I can tell you that I was
raging hard with a hard on. Just in case, for a bit, I put my hands
clamped onto his forearms.

He smiled at me. He stared at me as though it were the first time since
he died that he had seen me. I felt the same way. My rage began to
subside. I was huffing and puffing. On him. And he on me. I wanted to lay
my head on his neck but I stared. I let go of his arms.

And Peter's uncut dick was amazingly big. "I'm...sorry. Chase, I'm
sorry. I...I love you but it...it's inside of me."

"Sword come!" I yelled it out with force and authority but also my voice
cracked and my face betrayed my weakness for seeing a very hurt Peter. A
hurt Peter that I hurt. I held out my right hand and Excaliber into it.

Just moments before, Seth had tried to pick it up in his evil state
(ranting about how he would use it to conquer all Neverland and
eventually the world--yeah right, give it up, Seth) but it burned his
hands. He yelled and that alerted me even more to what I had to do. While
he still nursed his clawed hands, the thick sword came out of the pit and
came to my hand, which I held out and touched.

Peter's forehead has numerous bruises and cuts on them. He had black and
blue over his back and chest. My knuckles hurt and bled. Peter didn't
hurt easily but when he was hurt, he sometimes loved it. I wasn't sure if
this was one of those times. But his face glowed brightly at me and he
looked like his old joyous childlike self. "No, Chase," he read my
thoughts, "I love you. Glad to be back with you."

I was crying tears still. "And I love you. Let me show you a kiss..." 

Peter felt around on the ground with his right hand, under my left
shoulder. He found an acorn and held it up to my face.

"No," I laughed, "Peter, no Peter. That's not a thimble. Let me show you
a REAL kiss." I said it with kindness and I didn't mean to make him feel
shame or embarrassment. Which, contrary to belief, he does sometimes
feel. Mind you, not from being naked. For that never caused him shame.
Nor should it. I mean if you could just see him... "it's time you knew
the truth about kisses....kisses and thimbles are not the same
thing....this is a REAL kiss, Peter...."

Not caring if he found out that he was wrong about kisses and thimbles
for ages, I put my mouth to his and kept it there. I kissed and moved
sideways and put my tongue in him. I washed his entire mouth with my
tongue. I truly loved him. No one could love him like me. No one. And I
could love no one like I loved him. My tears dripped on his face, melted
down his cheeks. His eyes were wide and he was sort of shocked. Then he
gave in to it and enjoyed it. He even responded back. I could feel him
under me, his member growing to unbelievable proportions. Our lips met
and pressed. His arms remained passive but I groped around. I felt the
sword hilt again and jerked into him. I recalled the lady in the lake's
words. "Only you can unbind the evil Seth has put in him. And leave his
dark self intact for without part of himself, Peter cannot survive.
Seth's has intermingled it together. But you have the love to remove it
safely." I felt something concrete inside Peter's mouth now and it was
not his delicious tongue. I wanted to run away. That's how awful this
other foreign thing felt. But I would not run away. I grabbed it with my
tongue, sucked it out of Peter's mouth and into my own. I rolled off
Peter, spat out the strange slug like creature, and raised my sword over
it. Slimy, fish smelling and foul looking. Black and tainted. Trailing
spit and slime. Green and partly translucent. It looked up at me with the
devil face of Seth and horns and fire came from its mouth. I blocked the
fire with the sword and kept the sword moving. I cut it up in tiny pieces
and all the pieces lit into fire and vanished. Peter watched, scared,
amazed, and fascinated.

"You must be a good swordsmen?"

"Oh Peter, I learned from the best." I sat next to him, "How do you
feel?"

Peter blinked, coughed, and sat up. "I feel...." He came to me and
planted his lips on mine and put his hands on my back and rubbed. He
kissed me deeply. I put one hand on his back.


Give me your lips
and with one kiss it's the end of this nightmare
are you afraid of being alone because I am, I am lost without you
are you afraid of leaving tonight, cause I am, I am lost without you


"FINE!" He parted from me and jumped up, "I'M BACK! AND THIS TIME FOR
GOOD! LET'S GO GET HIM!" His legs were spread apart and he had both
hands on his hips, chest out, belly in. And he was full of power.

"Take this," I handed him Excaliber and his hand came over my hand. His
fingers over mine. Dirty fingers. And in that instant, the lady in the
lake, the sword, and King Arthur's spirit itself, showed me how Peter had
died. He died when Seth stabbed him with a sword. Peter just stood there.
Rewind. I saw Seth putting a sword to my belly in bed. Me unconscious or
hypnotized or something. Asleep. I was in bed with Seth the way I saw
Peter was. I didn't remember any of this but I knew in my heart it was
true. Peter died so that Seth would not kill me. I heard it, I felt it, I
saw it. I knew it. And in that moment, I knew he loved me like no one
else ever had or ever will. I knew, despite what he said, and where it
came from, from Seth's own evil, the devil's own evil, or even from the
darker insecure side of Peter himself, that Peter loved me with all his
heart and all his mind. I knew he would die for me the way I would die
for him. "You gave everything up for me. I won't forget that. I would
die for you, Peter Pan."

"Oh," Peter shrugged, "I know. Let's face it, though, Chase, it was an
awfully big adventure, to die. You autta try it but...Oh, I didn't mean
it that way."

"I know, can we go to set Seth straight now? I didn't exactly mean
straight..." I frowned.

"I love it when I don't know what your jokes mean."

"You're admitting you don't know something?"

"Maybe, I don't know," Peter laughed, "But I fucking love you!"

Great----now I've got Peter Pan saying the word "fucking".

But other than curse words, there was something more important to
discuss. Peter was back, that was obvious now and Peter had bloodlust.
"Peter, you mustn't kill him."

"Chase, he must die, you know that."

"No, I don't. There's something else to must do to him but let's get
there and...and the first thing you do when we do get there, is put some
clothes on!"

I then noticed our hands were still together, his on top of mine, on the
sword hilt. I tingled there. And the tingle shifted from there and grew.
It began to fill my arm, my shoulder, my chest and then my whole body, a
powerful thing called love filled me up and overflowed. Peter kissed my
hand and stared me in the eyes. It was a long time passed that I had not
seen that stare and that soul behind those baby blues. I was warmed. I
was comforted. I knew my partner was back. "I'm glad you're back."

"I know, who wouldn't be!" Peter moved my hand gently, "Lead, follow or
stay out of the way, Chase, I'm off to slay the dragon known as Seth!"

As Peter flew off, I sighed. I was no longer in charge. "And I love every
minute of him." I nodded and shook my head and followed.

I must admit the fight had gone out of me. It takes a lot to kick Peter
Pan's ass. And now that he was back I found this song running through my
head over and over again:

Come on, Let me hold you, touch you, feel you always, kiss you and taste
you all night always, forever.....

I wanted to act out my dream of the night. I wanted to have Peter and
have my way with him. I took off, sighing.

By the time I flew into the entrance to Seth's lair, I found Peter
putting the finishing touches to his outfit, tying the one vine over his
bare shoulder, his other nipple bare to the world forever. He had his
clothes on. Good. Damn! What am I saying? Take em off again, blond beauty
boy! Oh, I had to catch myself. We were here to stop Seth. "Where is he?"

Peter looked up from over the bed and saw the other side of the cave
wall. "I don't see him anywhere. But I see something that looks even
better..."

"Be careful," I warned as Peter moved past the bed, crouching low,
"There could be traps or he could be anywhere..."

Peter stood up fully now and strode over to the far wall, "Look at
this...Just what my doctor ordered."

I was crouching low too but then I saw the back wall, also. "What the
hell?"

I joined Peter, standing right behind him, his nice bubble butt in view.
In front of us now was a prehistoric cave wall with an equally ancient
stone age drawing...of Peter Pan's giant face with that same cocky smile,
all etched into the stone in that Neanderthal/Cro Magnon way. Peter had
his hand on his hips. And he was smiling that conceited smile that makes
me sometimes want to kick his ass. Oh, wait, I already did that.
Literally. Sometimes, too, it makes me want to kiss his ass. And I've
done that too. At least in my dreams, which I wanted to make happen right
now. Even though we were supposed to be stopping an enemy right now, I
was horny as hell. No pun intended. "I guess the cave men know real
beauty when they see it," Peter smiled. Knew and saw it but Peter was
never great with his tenses. Just in making me tense.

"But....but...but..."

"It's right here!" Peter stuck his butt out to me. And turned to look at
me.

I playfully patted it back into place, "But...but what does this mean?
That you were alive in that time too?"

Peter shrugged, and put his hands out, "Probably."

Of course, he didn't know what he was talking about. "It can't be that
old. It must be some kind of trick or a new thing Seth put up to make me
jealous," I leaned forward to touch it and as I moved my left hand to
feel the etching, Peter put his hand over mine and took it. He kissed it
and then put his hand forward with mine to touch it. It felt strange.
Like it was alive. We touched the right side of his face line. Our hands
linked.

Peter said, "What? What's that?"

"What the hell?"

"Exactly," I heard Seth's voice and turned quickly. I staggered but Peter
pulled me back, from behind me. For my stagger almost cost me my life.
The stone walls of the cave were moving. The ground dropped out from
under us. Peter moved back, pulling me by my waist line, hurting my
erection for the moment, then making it tug back to it's very macho
solidness. Peter turned and kicked into the stone wall, the dirt gave and
he carved out a ledge for us as the entire floor sank below us. We were
on a ledge now, me facing outward to see Seth on the entrance way,
floating there with giant red bat wings, smiling. Fanged teeth. Forked
tongue. Which darted in and out. Red eyes, no pupils this time. But then
the brown pupils came back to him. I looked down. The floor turned into a
spiraling deep pit, circular tunnel under us. There were spikes
crisscrossing, moving in and out from all sides of the cylinder hole it
was becoming and giant mouths in the sides of the dirt walls. And far
below, a bright light which made itself known as a giant red and a yellow
fire. "The pit of hell." I heard moaning from below and didn't want to
look any more. The ceiling rose up high on the side Seth was on so that
he was over us and across from us but indirectly, on an upward angle. The
walls to our sides were expanding and leaving us. The book shelf fell and
books tumbled into the pit. Explosions burst below us, filling the pit
and blasting it's sides.

"This is great!" Peter turned around fully, knocking me off the ledge
but he caught me by the waist line and pulled me back to him. For Pete's
sake! I yelled that, "For Pete's sake!" For as he did this, I could
swear that my ass felt Peter's erection not really concealed under his
green leaves! "Finally a worthy trap!"

"What do you mean?" I asked, dangling almost off the edge but knowing
Peter would hold me. Unless he got bored of that, "We can just fly out of
..."

Peter was excited, "Oh Chase, haven't you felt it yet? We can't fly out!
We can't fly in here!" He was so excited by this that he sounded happy
about it. "Makes it all that much more fun!"

Seth was boiling, literally, over Peter's reaction. "You will die! This
trap is set for you! You both failed me. And I failed my father but never
again. Since neither of you nor your brat deaf mute can free me from my
existence..."

"Kill you? I'd be glad to soon as I get out of this," Peter shrugged and
lowered his brow conceitedly.

"Since," Seth yelled and repeated to be heard, "you failed me and I am
what I am, I shall now over fire the entire Neverland and then onward to
the rest of this miserable excuse for a failed garden of Eden! But
first..." He yelled to stop me from protesting, "I shall save your boys
from their mortal coil! Fires will spread even now but for them, I shall
tear them alive, bit by bit, skin them and watch while they burn from my
touch, suffer from my ripping, my stabbing, my slaying of them ever so
slowly...knowing that you two were not there to help them...farewell once
and for all, useless Peter Pan and Chase!!" With a laugh, he turned,
his tail at us, pointed and red and he flew out the exit, which was
higher than the ledge we were on, on the other side.

The ledge Peter and I were on was starting to crumble, not that it was
that big anyway. Worm like things were coming out of the walls, spikes
were starting to come out on the other sides of the pit but luckily not
on our side. Something huge and monstrous was trying to claw its way out
of the fire hole beneath us and it was still expanding to encompass the
entire room and the ceiling was moving upward! Peter turned to face the
wall and he let me go so I turned too and grabbed onto his hips and put
my hands and arms around him to interlock my fingers in his belly. "C'mon
Peter! He's left to go kill the Lost Boys! Our boys! And we're unable to
fly! We're gonna die in here and Seth's gonna kill them and probably take
them to hell! Do something! Come on, Peter, do something! Do something!"


TO BE CONTINUED...


The play Peter Pan and its characters are trademarks of and copyright
J.M. Barrie.