Date: Sun, 4 Jul 2004 21:29:13 EDT
From: J
Subject: PETER PAN AND ME 40-second part

"Is that why you stopped dancing? Don't you love me?"

Peter looks at me. I come close to him. He pushes me, I back away. He
flies at me and bows in the air. We take hands. Look at each other. We
fly sideways and horizontally dance. We spin. Our hands are held out and
arms extended. We fly upward back to back and upside down, we turn around
and then fly like the hands of a clock, turning. We spin and rotate all
ways and Peter spins me out of it. Peter puts his head in my crotch and
mine in his and we spin like a ball and out of it into a waltz,
crisscross arms, switch spots, he back flips me and does the ultimate
dip. Push, grab, dance, horizontally spinning flying perpendicular, like
hands on a block both ways, hand to hand, holding hands, go back to back,
turn, upsidedown, Tyler watching cries. 

Tyler had come to Kensington Gardens, supposedly to warn us about the
Vikings. He had Legolas, an elf that he trusted and that trusted him,
bring him here magically. But it had taken a long time to get here, for
Legolas was not skilled in magic. Tyler flew here in a balloon created by
his court scientists and wizards and landed secretly. He gingerly walked
through the woods using Legolas a guide. Now he left Legolas behind, for
the elf had to return to his own dimension through a portal Tyler opened.
Tyler was good at opening portals but only to other universes and that
did him no good in trying to travel within his own world. Legolas was
involved in some war at his home dimension. So Tyler was alone. And sad.
He also had told Legolas he loved him. Tyler seemed to love everyone.
There are some people who fall in love with falling in love. They might
even mean well. Tyler, the prince of seven brothers' kingdoms, was such a
person. I think even he forgot where he came from. His parents in the
real world were ultra conservative right wing religious Bible Belt nut
jobs. He didn't remember this but when he kept professing his love for me
and Peter, sometimes at the same time, I decided to make him my research
project. I mean he wasn't a villain, at least not in the usual sense. He
seemed innocent and nice and kind and loving. Then again, there was this
other side to him. I think he was just confused. Of course, Peter and I
had our doubts about each other but we knew deep down that he was for me
and I was for him and no one could really break that up, no matter how
hard they tried. And Tyler tried. Not willingly. He just fell in love
with the beauty of Never land and that was personified in everything that
Peter and I were. Thus, he thought he was in love with one of us at any
given time, at other given times, he felt he loved both of us, first just
because we had beautiful minds, he said. Then he professed he wanted to
have sex with us. He didn't tell Peter this but implied it and outright
told me. Not that he wanted to make me jealous but in a way I think he
knew he would do that and somewhere deep down, he liked that someone was
jealous because of him. He was constantly telling me not to cry. Peter
too. He told me more than once that he wanted to cuddle with me, dream
with me, and outright have sex with me. He made me feel good. But I knew
on some level it was not real. His talk was just that: talk. An
expression of something that was being caged up inside him thanks to his
upbringing and his brothers. Even in Neverland, he was bound by religious
brainwashing and right over wrong as he thought he perceived it, however,
it was as others saw it and they just passed it on to him. He wasn't
being true to himself and he knew it. Then again, he thought he was not
being true to God so he fought his real nature: which was to love males.
He was the ultimate homo phobic homo sexual. 

Anyway, Tyler's parents had him brainwashed, not realizing it, for they
in their turn were brainwashed by their religion and the hate filled
prejudice it spouted and supported. You know, I think about the religious
leaders who helped put Jesus to death. There are so many modern day
people that spread hatred for others who are different and how they use
the Bible to do so. Tyler was from these roots and while he forgot most
of it, he had this inner struggle. Now his seven brothers were pressuring
him. Tyler was gay deep down or in the very least bi. I was convinced
that he was gay, not bi, but he called himself, in his best moments, bi
sexual. He loved being that. He loved indulging in that. Yet he also
hated that thanks to his parents, his religion and his brothers. Tyler
was due to be married so that he could unite the seven brothers kingdoms.
If he didn't marry a women, the brothers' kingdoms would fall to their
cousins. Don't ask me why. I have no idea but it was all very legalistic
(much like the religions that use ancient outdated laws to make everyone
feel condemned so that they either behave the way the leaders want them
to or they feel so guilty about their own natures, that they turn to the
leaders and give them money). It's all very twisted. Anyway I don't think
Tyler meant evil but it was evil he tried to impress in our lives. This
is his story as much as it is ours. I think he tried to, alternately and
sometimes, again, at the same time, cut Peter and myself out of his life,
as if we never existed.

I never understood how people could claim they loved you one moment and
then the next moment they are cutting you off, threatening you,
challenging you, calling you evil sinners, and just declaring that "It
was over". Peter and I took Tyler with a grain of salt. In many ways, he
was more of an immature heady teenager or child than Peter and I were.
Tyler, whether he knew it or not, played with people's feelings. He
played power games and he thought things in a double mind, a gay mind, or
a bi mind and then this overtly religious self righteous kind. He could
be very loving and congratulatory at one time and completely spouting
religious dogma to make you feel like a piece of shit. How one person
could cut people out of his life as he tried to do to me and Peter, I
don't get. It's why we tried to make peace with him, tried to help him,
and tried to love him. He stabbed us in the back. He said he loved us but
he didn't. He wanted to destroy us. He hated us deep down, thought of us
as fucking faggots. And the lovely beautiful people that he said we were,
he tried to make us think we weren't after building us up that we were. I
don't know if that makes any sense but he was a monster in many ways. A
monster built by others and controlled by worldly evil minded hatred.
That is the shame of it all: he didn't create his own messed up or
possibly evil minded ways, he was made by others. While Peter just
dismissed Tyler and basically ignored or forgot him totally, I was much
more introspective. 

In many ways he reminded me of Seth. But even Seth, in his dual confusion
of human and demon, knew where each part was coming from. Tyler didn't
and it made him all the more dangerous. 

I had to admit I was very tempted. Peter and I hadn't yet reached a truly
fully sexual penetration in our relationship...at least not that I
remember...Tyler was just a boy even though he looked older than I. And
Tyler, while he was no Peter...was cute, tall, alluring, and skinny.
Truth be known if it weren't for Peter I would want to fuck the shit out
of him. I really like stomachs and I was into his but Peter's was nicer.
Anyway I was not so keen on anal or oral sex real truth be told so I
never really had that inclination although if in love with someone, I
would want to probably have that love lead to other things in heat of
passion. And I wanted that someone to be Peter. Anything else was just a
thought, a fantasy.

Friends like Tyler are strange. They say they will never leave you or
forsake you and then weeks later they are telling you it's over and do
not talk to them ever again. People like Tyler are the reason I came to
Never land to get away from people like Tyler. They are selfish and self
serving, confused, confusing others, and making life miserable for
others. Anyhow, I thought we could change Tyler if we could just get him
to meet the right boy. 

Tyler looked up and cried as Peter looked only at me. I tried to get
closer into him than could possibly be true. He pushed me again and I
backed away. I flew backward but he flew at me and bowed in the air and
flipped. Coming out of the flip, he took my hands and flipped me so that
our faces were back at each other. We looked at each other, knowing what
we wanted. Peter looked a bit hesitant. We fly sideways again and then
horizontally placed in the air, near the trees, fairy wedding attendees
all around us lighting up the area and lighting up us, we dance. We spin.
Our hands are held out and arms extended as we move body away from body.
We fly upward back to back and upside down, we turn around and then fly
like the hands of a clock, turning. We spin and rotate all ways and Peter
spins me out of it. Peter puts his head in my crotch and mine in his and
we spin like a ball and out of it into a waltz, crisscross arms, switch
spots, he back flips me and does the ultimate dip. Push, grab, dance,
horizontally spinning flying perpendicular, like hands on a block both
ways, hand to hand, holding hands, go back to back, turn, upside down,
Tyler watching cries some more. Why I could never understand. He could
have someone to love. He came to warn us about the Vikings but truth be
told, he came to try to woe either me or Peter. He was upset that we had
each other and he had...no one. It wasn't a fault of his that he had no
one or rather let me say that he was good looking and a nice enough
person. So he had all the physical and even personality attributes to
meet a good looking person, be it a guy or a girl but therein hangs the
problem. He wanted guys but he was taught from birth that girls are what
he should want. He was taught sexual preference was a choice. He was
taught homosexuality was a sin and choice. He believes that gay men
could never marry, could never have kids, and never, ever know when a
good looking girl was around. I told him once he was ignorant and I
didn't mean to hurt him. I meant to try to get him to understand that
life is not always what other people tell us it is. 

I had no idea he was here, at least not at that time. But now that I'm
omnipotent, I know all which is how I'm relaying this story to you, dear
readers.

Peter looked at me as the fairies started to fly off. They were tired.
Peter smiled, "Chase, it...it's not make believe, you know that you and I
are...."

"Make believe?" I looked at him, biting my lip. "Oh...no." I pulled on
his bottom lip with one hand, "It's very very very real. To me."

"And to me." Peter smiled but then he dropped the smile. "That doesn't
mean that I have to...have to...?"

"No, Peter, you don't have to." I slowly floated downward and pulled
his leg for him to follow.

Watching us, looking up, Tyler hid as I landed and Peter followed. 

"Peter, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Peter smiled at me.

I decided to have a little fun with Peter and maybe get some answers at
the same time. I knew Wendy once had a conversation with him that
heralded the beginning of the end for their relationship. This, I hoped,
would end differently. I was taking a big chance that it would not but at
this point in the relationship with Peter, what the hell? "Peter, what
are your...your real feelings for me?"

"Feelings?" Peter smiled, "I've learned an awful lot about feelings
lately. Through you. Through Seth. I think....I know I love you."

"And I love you. Can't get more real than that."

Tyler wiped his teary eyes. "Why can't I have that?" he thought to
himself. 

"You see, I just don't want to seem awfully old, you know."

"Yes, I know Peter."

"But for you..."

"Peter, for you, I would do anything. I would stay as I am forever, I
would grow old if you want, and die if you want. I would die for you,
Peter Pan."

"And I for you."

"I know. You already have."

Peter smiled, "I love you. That's all I can say for now. I know I don't
want to grow up. I want to always be a boy and have fun...but I now see
what Wendy meant by there's more."

"There is. But Peter," I put a hand on his chest where his heart lay
beneath and felt the thumping there, "...you don't have to go there if
you don't want to. Or if you want to, you can go later, much much later
or never. I'll never leave you and I mean it. I will always be with you."

Peter swallowed. Tears came down his eyes. I hugged him and we stood
there for a long long time. In the woods, surrounded by singing bats,
whistling birds, and chirping grasshoppers.

"Now I'm too tired to fly, even on your back."

"I am also too tired."

"You are?" I filled with energy, knowing that Peter was like me, tired,
energized me. "But where will we sleep?"

My mind envisioned some forest nest where I could...

"I know a place..."

We walked. A moss covered rock wall. A hole in it. We walked through it.
On the other side, hidden in vines and moss and hanging leaves was...

A giant skull shaped white gray castle which towered over us, about 100
feet overhead. Two giant double doors with giant knockers. Who lived
here? Peter flew up to a giant knocker, which was twice his size and
lifted it, straining, and let it go. The knock was loud and like a gong
from the GONG SHOW. I heard footsteps inside, loud giant footsteps. Do
giants live here? Giant...what I wondered. Giant people? Don't they eat
people? Did Peter know Jack? Or did Peter not know jack? Jack shit?
Anyway Peter heard something like a roar. "He says the doors are open."
Peter landed near me as I stood looking up at the length of the door,
the top of which I couldn't see as it vanished into the night sky and
even on this clear night where I could see all the stars, the top was not
in view. Peter strained again, his boyish straining sounds exaggerated.

"Oh go on, you faker, you can open it with ease."

Peter ignored me and kept up his grunting and straining sounds as he
pushed. One hand on each door. Those terrific back muscles strained and
were tight and taut. I wanted to just lick them. They pressed against
each other, his muscles on his back, under his wings. Huh, he didn't
really have wings. He had that bone back there, the upper back bones. And
great bulging muscles under them. His shoulder muscles made unusual dents
in his body as he pushed, the doors opening with a loud creaking. What
lay beyond? 

And at your door we stand
It is a sprout well budded out
The work of Our Lord's hand

From the darkness within, a saw giant eyes, floating in the air as the
shadows prevented me from seeing the face that those eyes were embedded
in. Then he appeared out of the blackness. And Peter...Peter flew off.
Away! He left me there to face two giant gorillas that came out of the
darkness and out of the castle breezeway to face me. A giant foot was
there. "Okkk ayyyyy, this is interesting," I said, not panicking. The
party and wedding still had me entranced in my peaceful mode.

Then I thought. It was King bloody Kong. And his wife. And behind them a
white gorilla came up to them and pushed between their hairy brown bodies
to look at me. Actually the wife was black and Kong was brown. But the
son, Kiko, was all white. And cute and friendly. He waved to me. Where
the heck did Peter go? I can't talk Kongian.

Flying back to us, Peter lifted up a garland to King bloody Kong. And in
his other arm, over his shoulder, he had a giant banana. He placed it in
Kong's huge leather like hand and floated down to me, bowed to the wife
and waved to the son.

"We can stay." Peter smiled, "King Kong is friendly. He only allows
this place to show to friends who are welcome to stay."

"You know them?"

"Yeah we met once."

"Once?"

Peter bowed to me, "All that is needed for those with perception to see
my charm and usefulness as an ally and friend."

"And lover."

"What?"

"Nothing. Lead me in please."

The inside was nice. It was clean and marble. There was a rock cavern on
one wall of the bedroom areas. Inside, was a giant bed of straw and a
smaller bed of hay. And leaves. As I followed Peter, I asked, staying
behind him as close as possible, "Are bananas all that they....they eat?"


"No."

"Oh."

"They also eat plants and vegetables and leaves...they have given up meat
totally."

I caught my breath, "Ohhh, good." I saw giant sheep near us and looked
up. 

There was also a giant cow. For milk I guessed. Yet I remember King Kong
did eat ...people. At least at one time or at least that was the story in
the movie. When he was angry.

Chorus:
We've been rambling all the night
And some time of this day
Now returning back again
We bring a garland gay

We slept in a small niche in the rock wall. Kong put cotton from their
giant sheep in the hole for us to lay on. Peter and I just lay there in
the hole. Peter stretched out, his arms behind him and his hands behind
his head. He crossed his legs. He was really still so innocent. He didn't
know what he did to me. Did he? I got very very hard. It's been awhile
since we slept together alone with privacy. But I fell asleep pretty
quick. Much later in the night, someone was fingering my lips from above
me. I opened my eyes and saw Peter's face over me. My eyes widened. It
was like he was that first night he came to me. He tilted his head in a
puppy dog manner. He was examining me again. It might have been the first
time he ever did so but of course it was not. To him though it was new.
He felt up my lips with his hand, at first hesitating to touch them. I
put my tongue out. He touched it and drew back. He was floating over me
just as he had floated over Wendy.

He came upon me at night. What a mix he was. A boy. A macho man. A pixie.
Warm hearted through and through and yet there was stone in those eyes.
He wore very little. Green leaves for pelvic covering. His navel stood
out among a smooth ocean of sun kissed skin. Sexuality. Bills. Cars.
Work. How I hated them all. HE would take me away from all that. Just by
appearing there. He had hands on me and was staring, a big smile slowly
draped across his face. I was snug in bed, worries fading from real life
into the nightmares of a life I never lived embedded into my mind. A
darkness like no other. He had leaves draped over one shoulder, his right
I think. His nipple on the right side shone through and the left side
was completely bare. He had pipes like the mythical creature Pan used to
play. They were hanging on his vine belt. He had no shoes, bare feet,
bare legs, bare hips, bare belly, bare navel, everything was bare just
about. And the room smelled good when he was there. Pine. Christmas Pine.
And the air was fresh again and I could breath. There were no counselors,
no therapy, no one telling me to grow up and act my age and be
politically correct and...I know in this moment, the second I laid eyes
on him, that I loved him. And he me. I'm not sure how he loved me but I
knew I loved him with every ounce of me. Every part, everything about me
loved the being. I couldn't swallow for I was so taken with him. Blonde
curly locks, smooth hairless boyish skin, muscles...abs, a nice back. He
was over me. His blue eyes pierced me, my eyes, my heart, my chest, my
breast. I tingled with amazement that any one boy could be this perfect.
I couldn't talk for a good long minute or more. Fuck. Good Grief he's
gorgeous. He's fucking gorgeous. He put his hand out to me. I hesitated
and for a second I could see a sternness and cold heartedness in him, in
his eyes, the curl of his luscious mouth...he would leave me here and
never return...but no, he was patient and kind and he smiled. I melted. I
put my hand out and he pulled it. Yanked it. Delicately but then hard.
Then a foot came up, impossibly for he seemed to be somewhat lifted off
the ground. HE COULD FLY!!! He kicked my legs and I fell out of bed but
he yanked my arm and lifted me up and then something came in and
sprinkled me with dust. He took me into his arms and cradled me. I was
bigger but that changed. I don't know how old I was once the dust settled
but I seemed about the same age as he. I was shorter now and he hugged me
and we twirled slowly as we rose up into the room, to the ceiling amid
the moonlight. He let me place my head on his bony shoulder. He put his
on mine. Good gosh!

"Come away with me? What if you could return to a land you've been to
only in your most pleasant dreams or exciting adventuresome
nightmares....what if every day were an adventure, what if you could go
there where you could leave all your worries behind...all you have to do
is leave home behind...but you could never, ever go back..."

"Why yes of course! I'm trapped here." Enticing. Enchanting. Alluring.
Pretty. He was the quintessential dream boy! LORD OF THE FLIES, THE NEVER
ENDING STORY, and DOCTOR WHO all rolled up into one big energetic Will
Robinson of LOST IN SPACE, quiet Barry Lockridge from LAND OF THE GIANTS,
power clad Superboy package. And what a nice package it was too. I could
have just licked him all over! And I did.

"I love you!" Peter kissed my mouth heavily and lifted me up, putting
hands on my back and wrapping his legs under mine. He floated me up into
the bed of cotton again and thrust into me. "I sooo love you!"

Bodies grinding against each other. I felt his hardness slowly grow
greater and greater to immense proportions. No human boy could be that
large I thought. Peter even outdid himself. I kissed his neck and he
kissed my nipples, each. Slowly. Ever so slowly. It wasn't like Peter. He
was usually so rough. Like a battle, his near-sexual behavior was like a
fight, a struggle. This time it was different. He was more...tender. I
was not sure I liked him this way. But it was a change and this change
made my own hardness to swell far past my seven inches. Our dicks nuzzled
each other and even though we still wore clothes, it felt really really
really good. I tingled and jumped. Involuntarily and voluntarily. Peter's
tongue found my chin and up to my mouth. He went in and shot his tongue
in and out, in and out. I grew up against my own belly and felt his belly
with my dick, my hands on his hips and rubbing from there up to his tiny
waist and ample smooth belly, fingering his navel quickly which seemed to
pop back out against my fingers. I rubbed his hips again and started up
them to his sides and up and up until I reached his underarms. He had my
back now and held me aloft for a bit, my back arching and my head leaning
down, his following from the air. THIS WAS SO HOT! I WAS ABOUT TO
BURST!!! Peter's hands behind my back, lifting me up to his crotch, so
that mine was touching his, his fully hairless and now out of his leaves,
fully exposed...it was too much! I pre cam and was about to unleash the
load of my life and shock Peter Pan! 

Unknown to us, a giant snake, the name of Bendar, was crawling along the
floor and moving silently up at us. It crawled along the crags and cracks
of the rock wall, making its way steadily toward us, knowing we were
there, ready to please his belly. The head rose up at the hole, parting
the satin purple curtains there and the huge jaws opened, ready to
swallow Peter and I whole....the snake crawled for the hole....

TO BE CONTINUED... 

The play Peter Pan and its characters are trademarks of and
copyrightJ.M.Barrie.