Date: Sat, 20 Dec 2003 22:19:38 EST
From: J
Subject: PETER PAN 9

Part 9: NEVER THE LAND SHALL MEET

I don't know what that title means. And I don't care. It sounds good.

Peter took my hand and his felt smooth babylike in my own. He hauled my
arm, "Peter, what...what're ya doin?" He lifted me up and up and up. I
found myself pulled through one of the tree holes to the open air and
past the forest greenery. I was wished and whisked up past the tops of
the very trees. The ocean lay far below. A crisp clear morning and the
sun felt near to me. "Peter stop! I don't have time for..."

"We have all the time in the world!" He yelled and laughed. I laughed
along with him.

This nearly bare boy, bare belly, button on belly shallow. He pulled me
up and up. Soon the sky blue gave way to blue black and finally the
stars. I gasped, "Peter! Peter I can't..."

"Stop your yapping!" He laughed.

"Nooo," I found myself gasping more and more as the planets rushed past
us, the sun departed and the air gave way to a vacuum. "Peter, I
can't...I can't..." I was blacking out in the blackest of outer space.

Found myself sucking in nothing. Breathing nothing. My mind raced. I'm
going to die. I can't breath. "Of course you can," he said, "If I help
you..." Then he did the most erotic thing he did since I came to the
island. He reached down, let me fly a bit higher than him and he placed
his mouth over mine, "I'll give you some." He clapped his lips over my
own and I felt great air rushing into my lungs. I could breath. I thought
I'd slap him or kill hm or something but suddenly as he breathed into me,
some fairy dust on his tongue hit my body, and I felt..I don't know...I
suddenly soared and shot up, away from him and he shot up after me,
laughing in outer space.

I saw bits and pieces of his adventures as I passed planets. My body
felt, surged, energized. I thought I was having an orgasm...and not just
from my dick either...but from every pore hole I had. My entire being
surged. I didn't think anyone could feel this good! I throbbed with
excitement, adventure and pure exhilaration. It didn't cease or ebb
either but grew stronger as we sailed, he caught my arm in his hand and
his powerful grip...for he was only a little boy...held me and made me
stronger in my feeling of pure bliss.

I saw a Space Family Robinson there. A set of people on a giant planet
there. Peter said, "I was disappointed in Barry, he didn't want to stay
young forever. He wanted to grow up. Actually wanted it!" His cute voice
sounded so surprised and innocent at this. "Can you belveef that?"

I shot back, not just with my mind either but talking, in outer space,
"Well it happens sometimes Peter. You mustn't think harshly of people who
choose to...."

Peter turned to me with a look that sometimes made me think he hated
everyone... "Oh I don't but he's a fool!"

"No he's not!"

"Yes...He is and so are...Wendy and..."

It sometimes came back to Wendy. He loved her. Or did love her or
something. He and she had a complicated relationship and even though she
was long dead, he still had something for her and I don't think he ever
forgave her for growing up or leaving him or something. I had to work on
that. I had to get him to forgive her. I mean maybe she could help me.
I knew a thing or two about ghosts now. I mean Peter could soar with
fairies and show me their secret ritual meetings and orgies but I knew
more about ghosts than he did...at least I think I did or did he just
make me think I did?

We passed more adventures of his in the past. Adric, a boy blown up on a
space freighter trying to save the universe and all time. Peter felt
sorry for him and used the explosion, which started the end of the
dinosaurs by the way to transform the boy from another universe, for
Adric was from something Peter called E Space and we were in N Space
(never land space maybe?). Peter made Adric part of the sun and imbibed
him with energies beyond imaginings....made him much like himself I think
and Adric set out to help the lost, the forlorn, the forgotten and even
the criminal turn good and turn themselves and their lives around and
sometimes Adric even let people travel with him...

A space train passed us. And a giant starship. Two men lost in time and a
submarine under the sea of an alien planet with a blond boy who was very
cute. Fantasia. Atlantis. Mu. Lemura. The Lost Horizon. The Moon blasting
out of the Earth's orbit. Flash Gordon. Tarzan. Belle and the Beast.
Frankenstein, Dracula. Penquins that talked. There were a race of teens
from the future who couldn't kill and while Peter blahhhed as that (for
he liked killing and blood and stabbing) he protected these Tomorrow
People as though they were his own and perhaps they were, perhaps they
were of the fairy folk.

Most of the things I saw I didn't understand but what I did understand
was that my boy, this Peter Pan, had adventures beyond scope and
number...no wonder he had a poor memory, not even a giant computer could
hold all the info of his adventures. We went so far we bounced off the
end of the universe and bumped our heads but only slightly. Peter said
it, "We only slightly bumped our heads." We fell to Earth and landed
undersea where we saw mermen again and a giant submarine. "Wrong time,"
Peter mumbled underwater as we sank. He put mouth to me again and I felt
as grand as ever. I threw my tongue in and Peter gave me his back. We
rose up and soon we were both in NEVERLAND again.

On the shore near the Mermaid Lagoon. This boy laid out his belly in the
open sun and put his muscled arms up and hands behind head to rest. He
shut his eyes in the sunlight. Mermaids swam near the shore and their
tails flapped up to try to wet me. They'd never do that to Peter. I saw
my Merboy the one who loved me so and I went over to the edge of the
water, careful not to get too close and blew him a kiss. Then I
remembered poor little Jennie, still sleeping in and knew I had to get
him breakfast soon. I turned to look at the lovely Peter. That boy. He
who kept mermaids and merboys in their place all the same. Who cavorted
with fairies at their orgies and ceremonies. Who had the subtle love of a
brother, a father, a lover even. Yet who loved blood letting and
stabbing. I shook my head as I blew another kiss to him, knowing what
unrequited love is. Well not quite. I mean Peter did love me as far as he
could love anyone. There was still that Wendy thing to get him over
though. And while I knew I was but an 11 year old in body in mind and in
other ways I was adult but not him. Would he ever let me grow up? Would
he ever change his mind? No matter, I would stick by him no matter what.
I mean look at him. Soft, tough, rough, fidgety yet still enough to
surprise a tiger or a dodo bird. James Bond, Doctor Dolittle, Flash
Gordon, Doctor Who, Harry friggin Potter, Willy Wonka, Tarzan, Superman,
The Scarecrow of Oz, and Highlander all rolled into one creamy delicious
boy. Muscled, smooth skinned, attitude, innocent beauty, cockiness (which
is what Hook couldn't stand about him but I love it in him), conceited,
and yet charm all over every inch of his swordfighting, weapon loving
persona. He loves dolphins and fairies, pixies, and goodly demons and
angels and...what couldn't he do? I smiled. Then I grew somewhat sad
and downcast. He couldn't grow up. That's what he couldn't do...at least
emotionally and now, unless he changed his mind and grew up emotionally,
neither would I. I choose it. And still do. But I secretly held a hope he
would change his mind. A thousand million years here could make
one...tire of it. Not him. He could have adventure after adventure and if
I left him? What would he think of me? Would he remember me? Would he
move on to ...another?

Maybe the pirate...maybe he could teach him to grow up. To mature. I mean
Kickai might be totally evil and unrepentant but...he was just out of
boyhood himself and somehow just into manhood...maybe he could ...ahh,
it's a stupid idea. Peter was okay out here alone. I had to go feed
Jennie and a few other new lost boys. First I'd do that. Peter had the
sense of danger if anything even came within a mile of him. He would be
fine sleeping out here. I had the feeling he was dreaming of me. Was this
my own conceit?

I fed the boys: Jennie, Rico, Aoi, Sole, Pare, Rollin, and Je'ne, Landen,
Oliver, and my word, we had become quite a large group. I found my
jealousy of each boy ebbed and flowed. Peter wanted the tough Rico as his
second but he choose me instead. Rico wanted me too. Second? Me? I'm such
a ...well I'm not tough. I mean I could be aggressive and assertive if
need be but I'd have to be pushed. I knew some rudimentary self defense
even before coming here and meeting the king of defense and offense, more
offense if you ask me, Hook or Kickai. He actually taught me and I must
say our sword fighting training was quite quite erotic. I think it was to
him too. I found he seemed to fear it. I told him that once but he hated
it. He hated fearing anything but sometimes, in the still of the night, I
could get him to admit his fears, for he had some. Like the rest of us.
And I would hold him during his nightmares.
I sort of knew psychically that he was dreaming of me. And he was.
Holding me, a sword between us, kissing my lips. Spiraling up with me in
the fairy dust and the light colored land of the pixies. I shared his
dreams sometimes...scary, really scary, pretty, really pretty, exciting
beyond belief, free, free falling, free flying, naked bare sometimes only
wearing weapons the way he killed Hook, Billy Jukes and the other
pirate...peaceful at other times...

I made sure our little boys were well fed that day, they'd have slept the
whole day away if I let them but I didn't. I mean literally if I didn't
wake them they would have slept. I then made sure the adventures they
were going to go on wouldn't end up with them getting killed and then I
looked for Peter. He was no place to be found. Nowhere, no time,
something was amiss but not with him, with me.

I found a place near the river and cried in it. My tears were picked up
by the merboy who crushed on me. He drank them and then spit them out. I
cried and cried. Was my love returned? Did Peter love me? Why did he
always act so callous toward me and the boys? Why vanish for weeks or
months at a time? Why not take us? Take me? I don't get it. Crushing,
sweating someone this badly was hurtful to me, to my ego. But I couldn't
stop it no matter what I did. And I tried. I loved him so much it hurt
me. It made me feel dark and dry and horrid. I thought about him first
morning and the last thing at night. I dreamed about him. I often felt
sometimes I was him. In him. Being him. Jealousy rose up in me. He
controlled it all. The choice was his. Was this what Wendy went through?
But she was just a little girl, not some 40 something year old in an 11
year old body. Perhaps as she grew in her thoughts, she grew older and
went through this too. Maybe it is why she challenged him and...and lost.
At least she didn't get him. But he lost too: he didn't get her. I cried
and cried. And gasped for air. Looking wide, I thought I was going to die
choking...that seems to happen to me a lot. I heard a voice as I sobbed
loudly ...

"You can say that again!"

Was that my mind? My thoughts in this tantrum. I shed more tears and they
dripped almost non stop into the water. A gush of wind should have told
me, "He's back," but I didn't notice it or something. I was too busy
feeling sorry for myself and sobbing my guts out so hard that my throat
hurt and I made sounds that scared off Niko, Wendy's wolf, Michael's
bear, and even some Indians who were sneaking up on me ready to scalp me
or something, some renegades to our Indian friends (the ones Peter
saved...oh who the hell cares!) No one cares about me!

I sobbed some more. I didn't think anyone could cry this long and this
loud and live.

A cup came to my eyes. Tears went in them. "You're wrong. I won. I got
you. I do love you. I've told you before..."

Peter was there. He had in one hand, the Merboy by the throat and was
hideously making him spit my tears into a gold goblet on the grass over
the river bank and with his other hand, Peter was holding a cup to my
eyes. It horrified me and melted me. My heart melted. "Peter, don't hurt
him..."

"Maybe," Peter's eyes made a vee look of meanness, "Maybe you love him
more than you love me."

I put hands to Peter's arm, "I can't love anyone more than I love
you...let him go, Peter!"

Peter smiled and let go, "I was capturing your tears that he stole..."

"How kind," I said.

"Thank you..."

"Not you, him," I gasped. "He loves me, you know."

The Merboy spun in the water just under the surface and smiled at me. He
chilled my backbone. He was so haunting and beautiful and he loved me. "I
should kill him you know," Peter said and whipped out his knife.

I turned, crying some more, the big baby that I was. "Peter no!"

I could see in his eyes that he meant to do it. But he lied, "Ohh, I was
only playing ya." He laughed like a little boy, "C'mon let's go...but
you were...crying..."

"You forgot already??!!!" I pounded my fists onto his bare chest and
felt hard nipples hit the sides of my fists. "YOU!"

Peter caught my arms and stopped me. "Stop being a baby! Grow up!!!!"
Peter and I both let out a sigh of air as though we were shocked, cause
well we were. Peter said the unthinkable. His eyes went wide.

"No, Peter, no!"

"No!"

"I won't. Not unless you say it and mean it and mean to do it with me!
I'll never leave here and leave you!"

"I can leave here and not grow up. You can too with me."

"Peter, what you were doing, was it what I thought you were?"

"I was collecting your tears for the future. A future where you won't
have to cry ever again."

"I'm not sure what you mean by that...."

"I mean this..." Peter came floating close to my face and his lips just
touched mine. It was passionate. My mouth tingled and my heart raced. I
thought I was going to explode from every pore. Every pore seemed to
again have its own orgasm. He pressed in and pressed and pressed. My eyes
closed but then opened. His blue eyes shone. At me. I could tell he meant
every word now. He moved back after a long time. I breathed again. I sat
down, shook my head to clear my mind. What was I doing from one moment to
the next.

"I can go on solo adventures too..."

I wouldn't tell him but tonight I would go on a solo adventure...but
Kickai waited for me....


The play Peter Pan and its characters are trademarks of and copyright
J.M. Barrie