Date: Tue, 6 Oct 2009 06:39:04 +0100
From: Adam McDonald <ender2155@gmail.com>
Subject: phoenix reborn part 18

The same disclaimers from my last stories are in effect.


Beep, beep, beep ...

The machine next to Ryan's bed continues its metrodonomic rythm as it keeps
check on his vitals.  His body continues to show signs of life, while the
machine that monitors his brain waves continues to be a straight line -- it
shows he is brain dead.

Yet his brain is more active than any machine can fathom; the battle for his
soul and his mind is being raged on a plane no machine can detect.

"How is he doing?" asks Charles Xavier as he wheels into the room.

"No mental reaction yet," replies Ororo, "but he is alive."

Xavier frowns, wheels over to the monitors, and checks their results just to
be sure.

"What happened in the church?" he wonders aloud, "what went on his mind that
would handicap him so much?"

"Perhaps he came to grips with what he did!" a voice interrupts.

Xavier turns to see Scott walk in.

"As I stated before, Scott, HE did nothing!" Xavier exclaims, "It was our
fault he fell in to Magento's hands, and it was our fault we treated him the
way we did so he would trust Magneto.  The fault lies with us, NOT him, so
you need to treat him the same way we treated Logan.  We all tried to
understand him, despite his feral past!  I remember finding YOU as a
headstrong adolescent who rebelled against my help; how are you different
than him?!"

Scott stopped for a moment before slowly nodding and saying, "You make your
point, Professor, I apologize.  What do we do now?"

"I don't know, "replies Xavier, as he turns back to Ryan's body, "but I have
a feeling the answer lies deep within his mind, yet I'm afraid to delve
within to see what awaits me."

"Afraid?" asks Ororo.

"Yes," Xavier replies reluctantly, "I'm afraid of revealing to him the
horrors hidden within his psyche that has led to his being the host for the
Phoenix.  The Phoenix would not have found him so easily for the simple fact
his boyfriend died at the same moment Jean did.  Thousands of people die
daily, yet none of them became the host to the Phoenix.  Something happend
to Ryan that made him special; something cried out with such an urgency that
the Phoenix could not resist him.  So, I am afraid of entering his mind to
find the reason why; I'm afraid of hurting what is left of him more for the
chance that I may destroy the little bit of him that has survived."

"I understand," says Ororo silently, "yet the scans we have done show the
Phoenix Force has left him, so why are you still worried?"

"But my senses tell me it is still there, within him, dormant," replies
Xavier, "should I press or look too hard, it will destroy him completely, as
it, and he, has been wounded severely in whatever happened at the church, so
I don't know what steps to take."

"I do," a voice rings out.

Ororo, Scott, and Xavier turn to see Madelyne enter the room.

"I can do it," she says softly, "I can enter his mind and he'll trust me; he
did before."

Xavier pauses for a moment, the nods as their thoughts combine, "Alright,
but be careful, for his and your sake,"

"I can't allow this!" exclaims Scott.

"It's fine, my love," Madelyne says, "we connected in the church, and he
trusts me more than all of us.  I have to be the one."

"Professor!"

"No, Scott," Xavier says, firmly, "she is right.  She is the only one.  She
knows him, somehow, more than all of us; certainly more than me, so she must
be the one to help.  Let her go.  She will be safe, Scott, trust me."

Scott starts to say something, stops, and nods slowly, "Alright, but if I
see anything fishy, I'll stop it; I won't lose anyone else!"

Xavier nods, "Agreed, but I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Ryan, here, is too weak to be a threat to anyone but himself.  Madelyne, you
may continue."

Madelyne walks over to Ryan, places her hands around his head, and
concentrates.  Nothing happens at first, and she opens her eyes, looks up
and frowns, when suddenly, Ryan's body begins to glow, and Madelyne goes
rigid.

"PROFESSOR!" yells Scott.

"WAIT!" Xavier replies, "Look!"

Ryan's body stops glowng, and Madelyne's relaxes and stands at ease, with
her hands around Ryan's head.

"They are fine," assures Xavier, "Madelyne has made contact with what is
left of Ryan; let them talk and see what she can do to help them."

Madelyne is falling through time and space.  She has no sense of movement,
but she assumes she is falling, because when she touched Ryan's mind, the
floor fell out from under her and she fell.  Whether or not she is actually
falling now means nothing, as that sensation has continued with her from
that moment.

As she continues her journey into Ryan's mind, she sees flashes of memories
past: Christmas with his parents, dates with Tim, parties with his friends.
The visions pass in front of and through her, for what seems like eternity,
until, suddenly, she hits bottom and plunges through icy cold water.

Startled and out of breath, she lunges toward the surface.

Her head breaks the water and she gulps in lungfuls of beautiful air as she
begins to tread water.

She looks around and she sees that she seems to be in a huge cavern of
sort.  It's dark and cold, and the water is beginning to chill her to the
bone when she notices a brilliantly lit island a good 100 meters to her
left, and she starts swimming toward it.

Halfway there, as she is exhausted by the cold of the water, she realizes
she can just use her powers to fly there, but as she tries, she find her
powers unusable here.

It takes every ounce of her strength to finally swim and claw her way to the
shore.  As she does, she sees the light she noticed is a bonfire, and, at
the edge of it, sits a small, shivering, and naked Ryan.

Shivering almost as hard as Ryan, Madelyne, pulls herself to the fire and
attempts to warm herself in its warm glow.

Ryan says nothing this whole time.

As the blood begins to flow through her frozen body, Madelyne finally looks
over at Ryan and says, "Well, that sucked, but I'm here now.  Can we talk?"

Ryan simply throws another log on the fire and says nothing.

"Getting here to talk to you was hard; will you at least talk to me?"

Ryan stays silent.

"Well," says Madelyne as she tries her powers out again, and seeing they
work now, conjures up a hot dog on a stick, and begins to roast it over the
open fire, "I'm exhausted from my exertions and could use some energy; if
you want a hot dog too, let me know."

And with that, she calmly sits and roasts her hot dog, ignoring Ryan.

When it is ready to eat, she creates a bun, mustard, relish, the works, and
begins to eat her meal.

"If you want one, let me know.  This is delicious!" she mutters through a
full mouth.

"You know," she says between bites, "I understand loss of loved ones.  I was
a flight attendant on a plane that went down with my fiancee, and I'm the
only one who made it.  Well, that's what I was told; I don't really remember
what happened, but that's what I was filled in on.  And it took me a few
years to find peace with myself for surviving when my love didn't.  I
understand what is going through your head; trust me."

Ryan shudders for a moment and then looks at Madelyne.

She notices this, but keeps eating her hot dog.

"I was not the captain of that flight, but I was in charge of the
passengers; so what happened I blamed myself for the longest time.  But, it
wasn't me.  It wasn't MY fault our plane got struck by lightning that blew
the engines.  And it wasn't my fault that, as much as I tried to protect
him, my fiancee died.  I even threw my body over him as we went down to
protect him.  How could I know one of the landing wheels would be thrust up
the floor and kill him?"

Madelyne begins to cry as she continues, "I did ALL I could to help him, but
it didn't help.  It was just his time.  Just as it was for Tim.  You
couldn't have helped!"

Ryan suddenly cries out in agony, and Madelyne is thrown backwards with the
force of his scream.

"IT WAS MY FAULT!" he yells.

"How?" Madelyne asks weakly.

"No, no, I can't say!" yells Ryan, doubled over in pain.

Madelyne stumbles to her feet, walks over to Ryan and holds his shaking body
in her arms.

"Shhh, shhh," she murmurs, "it's ok, honey, tell me what happened."

"It's MY fault!" he yells, "I did it!"

"You didn't pull the trigger, sweetie.  It's not your fault.  He was the
victim of a hate crime."

"NO!" Ryan yells with a staggering force, "It's MY fault!"

"How?" she whispers.

Ryan shudders, sobs, then replies, "The week before graduation, some guys
from my class conered me in the locker room.  They said they knew I was gay
and they were gonna beat the shit out of me.  They hit me and knocked me to
the ground, and I was scared for my life.  I was bleeding and didn't know
what to do, so I blurted out that Nick was a mutant, so they should go after
him!  I couldn't believe those words came from my mouth, but they did, and I
hate myself for them, because THEY were the ones who told their parents, who
told the people who came to our graduation who killed ... who killed ...
TIM!  AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!"

And with that, Ryan devolves into sobbing and convulsions in Madelyne's
arms.

She is shocked and repulsed, but she feels Ryan's pain and overcomes her own
feelings to comfort him.

"It's not your fault," she coos, "we're only human, and no one could expect
you to act differently.  We all can get afraid, even with mutant powers."

"Is THAT why the Phoenix chose you?" she asks tentatively.

At the sound of the name, the Phoenix, Ryan's body suddenly arches, and a
light suffuses him and Madelyne.

With a scream, Madelyne is blown back, away from Ryan, and is brought back
to reality in the medical room at the mansion.

"What happened?" asks Xavier.

Madelyne shakes the cobwebs from her mind as the events of what happened gel
in her mind.

"I don't know," she says, "but I know why the Phoenix chose Ryan as Its
host.  In fact ..."

Madelyne is interrupted as the machines attached to Ryan begin to beep,
quiver, and shake.

Thet people around Ryan look down at him, when suddenly, his eyes open, and
his pupils widen as a sudden fire seems to burn within them.

<do not be afraid, i am here and all is well>

"Jean?!" asks an incredulous Scott.



That's it for the new part.  Hit me back at ender2155@gmail.com