Date: Wed, 17 Feb 1999 15:17:15 PST
From: Justin's Boy <justins_boy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ryan's Love

***This is a work of fiction and in no way is it meant to imply anything
about the sexuality of Ryan Phillippe or anyone else mentioned.

     It had been an incredibly long day. Most people couldn't even begin to
realize how hard it was to write for a television show, especially one
that was constantly under scrutiny from the media. I had been very
lucky, though, to land a job so soon after arriving in California, and I
wasn't about to start complaining. Not many 21 year olds who'd left
college to pursue their dreams were as lucky as I had been so far.
     Still, I was exhausted and looking forward to some peace and quiet that
night back at my apartment. About ten minutes after I walked through the
door the phone rang. Sighing, I answered it in my 'please leave me
alone' voice.
     "Seth?" The voice that came across the line was ultra-hyper and very
cheerful. I sighed again, seeing any chances for a peaceful night fade.
Still, I couldn't help but smile.
     "Yes Ashley?" I asked. Ashley was one of the first people I'd met in
California and she'd taken it upon herself to get me into the club life
and introduce me around.
     "Glad your home! You and I are heading to that new club tonight!"
     "Are we? Did you know that WE just worked an incredibly long day with a
very demanding executive producer breathing down OUR neck about
rewrites?" I asked.
     "All the more reason to get out and have some fun! I'll be there in an
hour!" Ashley hung up the phone before I could respond any further.
     I shook my head, partly in irritation, but mostly in amusement. Ashley
was a person you just couldn't say no to. Going into my bedroom, I took
a look at myself in the mirror. The face that stared back was too
boyish. One of the things that had always irritated me was my baby face.
Still, I was proud of my good looks and I'd worked hard to maintain a
body that made up for having a face that belonged on a 16 year old.
Running my hands through my short blonde hair, I wondered if tonight
would be any different from the other nights I'd gone to clubs with
Ashley. Would I meet a guy this time?
     An hour later I was standing in a large, poorly light club, lost in a
crowd of people dancing, talking, and laughing. Ashley had ordered me to
have fun and had quickly set her sights on a guy at the bar. I wandered
around the club, looking for someone to dance with. There were a lot of
very good looking guys in the club, but that was nothing unusual. Good
looking guys were everywhere in L.A. The only person i'd made eye
contact with so far was a short blonde woman who looked vaguely familiar
though I wasn't sure where I'd seen her before. Having no interest in
her, I'd just smiled and started to turn away when suddenly someone ran
into me from behind and I felt myself falling.
     As I hit the floor, whoever had knocked me down stepped on my head and
fell over, landing squarely on top of me. I struggled to free myself
from his weight, my head ringing. The guy on top of me quickly stood up
and extended a hand to me, helping me up.
     "Man, I am so sorry. Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded, one hand on my
head to make sure it was all in one piece.
     "I totally wasn't watching where I was going, man. Can I buy you a
drink to make up for it?" he asked. I started to say that wasn't
necessary, but then I looked into his face for the first time and my
heart almost stopped.
     Okay, so it's L.A. and I work in the entertainment industry. I should
be used to seeing celebrities that I drooled over from afar just a few
months ago, right? But I had never before come face to face with my
ultimate celebrity crush, Ryan Phillippe.
     "Thanks. That would be fine," I smiled, my heart pounding. Ryan nodded
and started to make his way through the crowd towards the bar, with me
right behind him. My eyes were on his ass as he walked in front of me,
so I almost ran into him when he stopped short. Looking up quickly I
realized we'd reached the blonde girl I'd made eye contact with before
Ryan ran into me. My heart sank as seeing them together made me recall
who she was- Reese Witherspoon, his girlfriend.
     "Good going Ryan! I can see the tabloid headlines now. "Movie Star
Tramples Unsuspecting Club Goer." Reese laughed.
     "Yeah. Then the story would grow and say it had been a fight over you,
Ree," Ryan laughed. The three of us made our way to the bar without
another word. Ryan got three drinks and motioned for us to follow him to
a quieter section of the club.
     "Hi. I'm Ryan and this is Reese," he said once we'd sat down at a
table. I said hello to both of them and took a sip of beer, still unable
to believe I was sitting with Ryan Phillippe.
     "Are you sure your okay?" Ryan asked. I nodded yes again.
     "Don't talk much, do you?" Reese asked. "Or are you just star struck?"
     "Ree. The guy probably doesn't even know who we are, much less care."
Ryan chastised. Reese shrugged and looked out towards the dance floor.
     "Oh, I do know who you guys are. I'm Seth Barnes, by the way. And
thanks for the drink," I said, giving Ryan what I hoped was a melting
smile. Sure, he was there with his girlfriend, but I knew I'd probably
never be sitting with down with him again, so I decided to take my
chances.
     "Nice to meet you Seth. You an actor?" Ryan asked. Reese turned her
eyes towards me again, waiting for my answer. I stared back into Ryan's
eyes and smiled.
     "No. I couldn't act to save my life. I'm a writer," I said. Reese lost
interest again and looked back out to the floor.
     "Really? Have you written anything I might have heard of?" Ryan asked.
Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he seemed to be more interested than
the situation warranted. It was as if he really wanted to know about me.
Even better, he'd hadn't broken eye contact at all, staring back into my
eyes with his own gorgeous blue eyes.
     I told Ryan which show I worked on and he seemed impressed. "I've been
hearing a lot about it lately. You seem kind of young, though. Did you
go to college?" he asked. Before I could reply, Reese stood up and
looked at Ryan, her lips pouting.
     "I want to dance. I didn't come to sit at a table all night," she said.
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Ree, there are plenty of people to dance with. Go
ahead," he said. Reese flounced off, obviously not pleased.
     As happy as I was at this turn of events, I had to say the polite
thing. "You really don't have to sit here with me all night if you want
to go and dance with your girlfriend." Ryan smiled and I held my breath,
waiting for his reply.
     "That's okay. I really don't like hitting the clubs with her all that
much anyway. This was kind of a publicity thing," he said. I nodded,
wondering if maybe his whole relationship with her might be 'a publicity
thing.' It seemed too much to hope for.
     For the next few hours, Ryan and I sat and talked. I told him about
leaving college to follow my dreams and about working on the show. We
talked about the business as a whole, and about certain stories making
the gossip round in town at the moment. He told me about his own career
and how he'd gotten started. It seemed only minutes since we'd sat down,
but soon the crowd in the club started to thin out as people left for
the night. Looking at my watch, I was stunned to see it was already two
in the morning. I looked around the club, wondering where Ashley was
since we'd come in the same car.
     "Looking for someone in particular?" Ryan asked with his killer smile.
     "Well, my ride actually. I came with a friend but I don't see her
anywhere."
     "Ryan!" Reese suddenly stumbled up to the table, feeling no pain.
"Sweetheart angel, let's go back to my place," Reese slurred her words.
Ryan sighed and stood up, putting one hand on Reese's arm to steady her.
     "Well, Seth, it's been great talking to you. I'm sorry about knocking
you down and stepping on your head, man," Ryan grinned. I smiled back,
but inside I was suddenly sad. This was it. I was never going to see
Ryan again. He was no longer just a sexy movie star, not after all the
hours I'd spent talking with him. He was someone I felt I could really
fall for.
     "Well, I can always say I've been stepped on by greatness, right?" I
smiled, looking into his eyes once again, trying to convey what I felt.
     "If you say so," Ryan laughed, putting out his hand for me to shake it.
As our hands touched, I felt electrified. Our eyes met and this time I
knew that we must be thinking the same thoughts.
     "Ryyyyyyaaaaannnn........I wanna go." Reese whined, her head resting on
his shoulder. Ryan rolled his eyes again and waved goodbye to me as he
and Reese started to head towards the exit. I began to walk around the
club, looking for Ashley. It only took about ten minutes to realize that
she wasn't in the club any more. I suddenly felt very exhausted as I
went to the pay phone to call a cab.
     Waiting outside the club ten minutes later for my taxi, my mind went
back over every word Ryan and I had said to each other, every smile that
had lit up his face, the way his eyes had sparkled when he laughed. I
felt a wave of loneliness as I waited, wondering if I'd ever meet
someone as wonderful as Ryan who was meant for me.
     A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped. Turning, I was surprised to
see Ryan standing on the sidewalk behind me.
     "Ryan? I thought you left?"
     "I did. I took Reese home. But I just.... I had to..... I mean..." Ryan
was suddenly at a loss for words. I stared at him, wondering what he
could be trying to say, and hoping it was what I though it was.
     "Do you need a ride?" Ryan finally asked.
     "I'd love one," I smiled. Ryan motioned with him head towards his
Jaguar and we started walking towards it. As soon as we were inside I
turned to Ryan.
     "I live-" I started to give him directions, but was cut off when he
leaned forward and grabbed my face, pulling me into a kiss. I was
stunned at first as Ryan's tongue danced around my mouth, but I soon
began to kiss back with passion. We broke the kiss only when we needed
to catch our breath.
     "I wanted to do that all night," Ryan smiled, and I felt my heart jump.
"Me too." I said softly. "Would you like to go back to my place?" Ryan
asked, looking intently into my eyes. Every nerve in my body suddenly
tingled and I nodded my head.
     "But what about Reese?" I asked. Ryan leaned closer, brushing his hand
against my cheek.
     "Seth, I'm gay. I have no interest in Reese. It's just for appearance
sake. My manager and agent suggested it. I like guys. I like YOU," Ryan
smiled as he leaned in for another kiss. This time his hands searched
their way down my back as his tongue searched my mouth. I ran my hands
through his hair, not sure if I was dreaming this or not.
     When he finally pulled away and started the car he put his hand on my
thigh as he sped off into the night. If this was a dream, I knew I never
wanted to wake up.

***To Be Continued? Please send comments or suggestions to
justins_boy@hotmail.com- I would really appreciate some feedback.