Date: Wed, 21 Apr 1999 19:56:38 PDT
From: Justin's Boy <justins_boy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ryan's Love 11

   ****This story is completely fictional. It is not meant to imply
anything about the sexuality of the real Ryan Phillippe or about any
of the other people mentioned. Nor is it meant to be representative
of the relationship of the real Ryan and Reese.


     I opened my eyes and looked around the room. Where was I? In
those few moments between being asleep and fully waking up, I was in
utter confusion. The room looked familiar, but it wasn't mine. Then
realization set in and I closed my eyes and sighed, a smile on my
face.
     It was my room. Mine and Ryan's, that is. I'd finally moved into
his house the day before. A little over a month had passed since the
announcement of Ryan and Reese's engagement and impending child. The
two of them had spent most of that time in New York, finishing up
their work on the movie there, while I'd remained in L.A. and
finished up work on the first season of 'Felicity'. The show had gone
on hiatus two days before Ryan and Reese returned home.
     Which had been just a week ago. The week that had passed since
then had consisted mostly of Ryan putting his considerable charm and
argumentative skills to work in convincing me that moving in with him
and Reese was the best decision I'd ever make in my life, other than
falling in love with him in the first place, of course.
     I'd finally given in and the two of us, with a little help from
AJ, had moved my stuff in the day before. I'd sublet my apartment
mostly furnished, since Ryan's house had just about everything I'd
need, so the move had been easily completed in a few hours.
     All of that flashed through my mind in an instant as I stretched
my arms above my head in Ryan's bed. Or, I corrected myself with a
smile, mine and Ryan's bed. I sat up and looked around, a little
disappointed that Ryan wasn't lying there beside me still. For the
first time in ages, we'd been able to fall asleep in each others arms
the night before.
     "Seth, are you sure about this? Do you realize all the
consequences of what you're doing? Don't get me wrong, if it's what
you want, I'm behind you all the way. But are you SURE?" AJ's words
came back to me as I climbed out of bed and reached for a pair of
sweat pants to cover myself with.
     AJ had pulled me aside for a private heart to heart in my
apartment while Ryan carried down a box full of my personal
belongings. "Yes," I'd told her, "I'm sure."
     Was that a lie? I asked myself as I opened the bedroom door and
went in search of Ryan. Certainly it wasn't the truth. At least not
the whole truth. I was filled with doubts about living under the same
roof with Ryan and Reese. Especially since Reese was knee deep in a
pregnancy, the cravings that came with it, and the planning of her
and Ryan's wedding.
     "Ryan?" I called out, as I opened the door to the gym. There was
no sign of him there, though. I turned and went back up into the
living room and across to the kitchen, but that was empty, too.
Feeling a little like a stranger abandoned by the only familiar face
in a strange land, I opened the door to the garage.
     Ryan's car was gone. Where had he gone? He had meetings with his
people to discuss his next project, but they weren't until late
afternoon. I glanced at the wall clock, wondering if maybe I'd slept
later than I'd thought. But it was only a little after nine a.m.
     "Seth?" I jumped a little at the sound of Reese's voice.
     "Good morning," I smiled, turning around. Reese was wearing a
pair of light blue men's silk pajamas, and her long blonde hair was
tousled, but to my slight irritation she looked just as beautiful as
she did on the set of a movie. I fleetingly wondered what I looked
like, standing there in the kitchen with my hair a mess, my face
unshaved and in need of a shower. Not to mention only dressed in a
ratty pair of grey sweat pants that I should have thrown away months
ago. "Do you know where Ryan went?"
    "Um, yeah," Reese smiled, looking embarrassed. "It's my fault,
really. I had such a terrible craving and Ryan was so sweet about it."
    "Oh," was all I could say. As ridiculous as it made me feel to
think about it, I was jealous of the attention Ryan had obviously
become used to giving to Reese since they'd been living together.
     "It's so silly, I just have this craving for lobster," Reese
laughed. I smiled and nodded, not sure what to say. We both remained
standing there, staring back at each other, the silence growing
quickly, filling up the space between us.
     "Well, I have to get in the shower," I finally said when I
couldn't stand another second of the uncomfortable stillness in the
kitchen.
     "Okay. He should be back any time," Reese said. I could tell
that she was just as uncomfortable as I was. I went quickly to the
private bathroom in Ryan's room and turned on the shower. Within
seconds, I was standing under it, eyes closed, letting the streams of
hot water cascade over me.
     How was I going to survive this for the next few years? Reese
would always be there between Ryan and I, and before too long there'd
be a child there, too. Was it wrong of me to feel so jealous of Reese
and her child? They were just as much the victims of circumstance as
Ryan and I were, after all. But still....
     I jumped again as I felt a hand touch my back. For one horrified
second I actually thought Reese had followed me into the shower. I
swung around, ready for some sort of a confrontation. I found myself
staring directly into Ryan's face, which was aglow with that devilish
grin.
     "What's the big idea? This is California, you know. We need to
conserve water. From now on, wait for me before you get in the
shower," Ryan grinned, his crystal blue eyes dancing with sparkles.
     "Now that's a stupid idea. You know as well as I do that we'll
waste a lot more water if we're in here together," I smiled, leaning
forward to kiss him.
     "Yeah, but just think of all the fun we'll have wasting it,"
Ryan laughed when we pulled apart from the kiss. I smiled and let my
eyes take in the sight of his beautiful body as we stood there under
the water.
     "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I wanted to be,
especially since it was your first morning here. But-" Ryan started
to explain earnestly.
     "Reese needed lobster," I smiled, interrupting him with a smile.
     "Women!" Ryan rolled his eyes playfully. I laughed and wrapped
my arms around his waist pulling him tightly against me.
     "I love you, Ryan," the words came out sounding more desperate
than I'd intended. Holding him against me, though, I didn't want to
let go.
     "I love you, too. A lot," Ryan whispered, bringing his mouth to
mine once again. As his tongue searched my mouth he ran his hands
slowly down my back and gave my ass a gentle squeeze.
     I moaned slightly, pressing my body more firmly against his.
Ryan pulled away and threw his head back, letting out a small groan.
I leaned forward and kissed his exposed throat softly, breathing in
the scent of him as I did so.
     "Ryan..." I whispered.
     "What?" he asked, his own voice little more than a moan.
     "Make love to me." Ryan looked into my eyes and smiled. He took
my hand and reached for the shower door, but I quickly pulled him
back, shaking my head. "Here."
     "In the shower? We don't have anything," Ryan whispered as he
slowly kissed his way up my neck and began to nibble lightly on my
earlobe.
     "It's okay. We're in a committed relationship now Ryan. I get
tested every six months, but you're the only guy I've been with in a
long time. And you...." I let my words trail off.
     "It's been years since I was with anyone else," Ryan smiled.
"Are you sure, though?"
     "Yes. I trust you, Ryan. You trust me. Make love to me," I said,
running my hand down his wet chest slowly, my fingers tracing the
lines of his perfectly defined abs.
     Ryan's mouth once again covered mine in a passionate kiss, our
tongues finding each other. He gently ran a hand down my back, over
my ass and to the crook of my knee. He raised my leg and placed it
firmly against his waist. I wrapped it around him tightly, my heart
beating rapidly as he repeated the process with my other leg.
     Ryan held me steady, my back braced against the tiled shower
wall. I looked into his eyes and nodded slightly, and he eased
forward, easing his cock slowly inside of me, aided by the wetness of
our bodies.
     "Oh, Ryan," I moaned. Ryan sighed slightly and quickly brought
his mouth back to mine. We continued to kiss deeply as he moved his
hips back and forth, sliding himself in and out of my with increasing
passion.
     "This feels so good, Seth. I love you so much," Ryan groaned. I
rolled my head back and forth against the tile slowly, enjoying the
overwhelming sensations of Ryan's cock inside of me and my own cock
being rubbed between our stomachs.
     "I...love you....too," I gasped, feeling light headed as I felt
my own climax approaching. "Ryan..." I sucked my breath in as I began
to cum all over both of us.
     "Oh...God," Ryan yelled out as he too began to cum. The feeling
of him cumming inside of me without a condom was entirely new to me,
and one which I knew I would forever associate with Ryan and what we
meant to each other.
     We remained there, breathing heavily, for several moments. My
legs were still wrapped around Ryan's waist as I came slowly down off
of the cloud that making love to Ryan always lifted me to.
     "We're lucky we didn't break our necks!" I whispered in his ear.
"Can you see the headlines?"
     "Oh, boy. They'd have a field day with that, wouldn't they?"
Ryan laughed as he slowly eased my legs back down to the shower
floor. His face grew serious as he brushed his fingers along my cheek
softly. "I love you. I just can't say it enough."
     "I know the feeling, Ryan. I want to shout it from the rooftops
twenty four hours a day," I smiled.
     "Let's get cleaned up before L.A.'s water supply runs dry," Ryan
grinned, reaching for a bar of soap.
                        ****************
     A few hours later, I sat in a sunny corner of the living room,
staring at the screen of my  computer. I'd promised Ryan that I would
spend the hiatus from the show working on the script I'd started in
New York, but I seemed to be having first day jitters. Absolutely
nothing came to mind as I stared at the white screen and the tiny
black cursor blinking in and out, waiting for me to create.
     Sighing, I reached for the bottle of Evian on the table and
gulped down the last of it, just to have an excuse to get up and go
to the kitchen so I'd be away from the computer.
     "How's it going?" Reese asked, looking up from her work at the
counter. Maternity seemed to have sent Reese into a baking frenzy of
some sort, and the kitchen was cluttered with her morning's work.
     "Not well. What's been going on in here?" I asked, looking at
all the tempting dishes she'd been creating.
     "I don't know. I'm turning into June Cleaver," she laughed. I
smiled and opened the fridge to grab another bottle of water. "Seth?
Can we talk for a few minutes?"
     "Sure," I said, my stomach tightening at once. I wasn't sure I
was going to like what she had to say.
     "Let's go sit down," Reese said, wiping her hands on a towel and
starting for the living room. I followed, wishing Ryan were there.
He'd gotten a call from his manager not long after our shower, asking
that they push their meeting up.
     "What's on your mind?" I asked, sitting down next to Reese on
the sofa and turning to face her.
     "You are. You, me, and Ryan, actually. Seth it's only your first
day here, and we're already tiptoeing around each other and feeling
really uncomfortable," Reese sighed.
     "Yeah. That's true," I agreed sadly. "But Reese, what else can
you expect, given the situation?"
     "Seth, I want us to be friends. Not just for ourselves, but for
Ryan and for..." Reese paused and rested one hand on her stomach, her
face flushing a little as she smiled. "...the baby. We're all going
to be here together for a long time. We can't continue this way."
     "You're right. But I'm not sure how we could make this situation
any easier, Reese."
     "Look, Seth. You need to let go of whatever feelings of jealousy
you have for me, or whatever insecurities you have. I'm not going to
steal Ryan away from you. It's not a competition and we're not vying
for his attention, okay?" Reese said, reaching out and touching my
hand. "It's not one-sided, either. I have to let go of the resentment
I still have towards you. Even though I know it's not true, I still
feel like my life with Ryan would have worked out perfectly if you
hadn't come along."
     I looked at her, amazed that she'd be willing to admit such a
thing. "Reese, I guess it's true. I do feel very insecure, like I'm
the third wheel here. Like I could lose Ryan at any moment to you and
the baby."
     "Seth, you won't. I'm not out to steal him back. I'm a nice
person, really," Reese smiled. "And from what I've heard, you are,
too. I want us to be friends."
     "That sounds wonderful to me. I hope we can be," I replied
honestly.
     "We can. If we try. Now, I have to finish in the kitchen," Reese
sighed.
     "Listen, my writing is going nowhere for today. Want some help
in there?" I asked.
     "I'd love some! Come on. Maybe you'll help me sample some of
those things so I don't eat them all by myself," Reese grinned.
     "Sounds like a plan."
                   *******************
     I sighed happily and looked up at Ryan's face. His arms were
wrapped around me and I was lying against him as we sat on the sofa
watching television. It just felt so right, being there together.
     Ryan smiled down at me and leaned forward to kiss my forehead.
"Well, how's your first day here been? You're not ready to run
screaming from the house yet, are you?"
     "Hmm. Well, it started out with the best sex I've ever had, with
the most beautiful man alive. Who, by the way, happens to be the
person I love more than life itself," I smiled.
     "Oh great. So you're telling me I've got competition?" Ryan
grinned. I smacked him lightly on the knee and shook my head.
     "No. And neither do I. I know that now," I said, thinking of the
day I'd spent with Reese.
     The telephone rang and Ryan stretched his arm back over his
shoulder and picked up the receiver. "Hello? Yeah, just a minute,"
Ryan said. "Seth it's for you."
     "Hello?" I asked, sitting up to take the receiver from his hand.
     "Seth? It's AJ. Listen, I hate to do this, but I need to ask you
for a favor."
     "You hate to ask me for a favor? Come on, AJ, after all you've
done for me, I owe you big time! Ask away," I said, smiling at Ryan
and thinking that things between us might not have worked out as well
as they had if it hadn't been for AJ.
     "No, you don't owe me anything, Seth! We're friends. We help
each other, that's the way it is. But anyway, I'm supposed to go to
a premiere with Scott tonight, but he's sick. I'm all ready and
we've got the car booked, I'm dressed and everything..." AJ sighed.
     "So you need a date, huh?" I smiled. AJ and Scott Speedman had
been seeing each other regularly since their first date about a month
before. Things between them were moving slowly, AJ had confided, but
they were definitely promising.
     "I hate to bother you, Seth. I tried Scott Foley first, but he
and Simon have plans tonight. I know it's your first day there with
Ryan and you probably want to be with him. I'll totally understand if
that's the case-"
     "AJ, are you trying to talk me out of it, or what? Of course
I'll go! I've never been to a movie premiere. I'd love to. I can hang
out with Ryan any old time," I smiled. Ryan gasped and pretended to
be hurt by my words, falling over on the sofa clutching his heart.
     "Are you sure, Seth? You don't have to," AJ pointed out again.
     "Of course I'm sure! Who'd pass up a chance to see a free movie
and mingle with the stars, plus have the most gorgeous woman in the
room on his arm?"
     "You, my friend, have been in L.A. too long. You're already full
of it!" AJ laughed. "Thank you so much, Seth. I don't know what I'd
do without you. I'll be there to pick you up in about forty-five
minutes. Is that enough time?"
     "Yeah, that's plenty of time. I'll see you then," I said,
hanging up the phone.
     "Okay, where is the lovely Miss Johnson whisking you off to?
Should I be jealous?" Ryan joked.
     "Not of AJ, but who knows which Hollywood hunks will be at the
party after the premiere," I smiled.
     "Oh, that's it. I'm not letting you out of my sight!" Ryan
laughed, pulling me into another kiss. After a few seconds I
reluctantly pushed him away.
     "Sorry, but I've got to get ready. Can I have a raincheck on
that kiss?"
     "But of course," Ryan smiled, affecting a really bad French
accent. Then he looked at me thoughtfully. "Maybe I should come, too."
     "Really? Are you sure?" I asked.
     "I'm sure that I don't want to be away from you, not even for a
few hours," Ryan smiled his familiar grin. "Maybe Reese would like to
go. She's been cooped up here all week, after all."
     "That sounds great to me. I'm sure AJ won't mind, either. I'll
go and get dressed and you see if Reese wants to make a night of it
with us," I said.
     Reese was a little reluctant at first, but Ryan was able to
convince her easily enough. Sometimes I was certain that he could
talk anyone into anything. To use a tired cliche, Ryan could have
sold ice to an Eskimo.
     Still, Reese was hard pressed to get ready in only forty
minutes. She looked fine to me, but I knew from working on the set
that most actresses (not to mention actors) are very particular about
looking just right at all times.
     By the time AJ arrived in the limo, though, we were all ready.
The drive to the premiere was a little tense. I hadn't counted on
AJ's lingering animosity towards Ryan and Reese's situation, and AJ
was very abrupt with Reese. Reese was sweet, though, which actually
seemed to irritate AJ even more.
     Despite that, we arrived at the premiere in one piece. The movie
was the latest in the 'Teensploitation' craze, and most of the stars
who showed up were from television shows. The media was abuzz over
the unexpected arrival of Ryan and Reese, but several photos were
taken of AJ and I, too.
     "Amy Jo, we've been hearing that you're seeing your co-star
Scott Speedman. Who's this with you tonight?" a reporter from E!
Entertainment asked, shoving a microphone in our faces.
     "Scott and I are great friends, that's all. This is another
friend, one of our brilliant writers, Seth Barnes," AJ smiled into
the camera as we moved on. Ryan and Reese were just ahead of us,
though, and each reporter seemed to be vying for their attention.
     We soon found ourselves in the theatre watching the movie. I was
seated between AJ and Ryan, and under the cover of darkness we held
hands throughout the movie like lovesick junior high school kids.
     We made our way back down the red carpet, answering questions
this time about what we thought about the movie. Since I was 'no
one', most of the reporters didn't deign to ask my opinion.
     "Ready to party?" Ryan grinned at the three of us once we were
back in the safety of the limo.
     "Not for too long, okay? I'm exhausted," Reese smiled. "Did you
like the movie, Amy Jo?"
     "Yes. It was fine," AJ answered. I sighed, wincing a little at
the tone of her voice. The rest of the drive was silent and
uncomfortable. Ryan and I locked eyes and he gave me a smile that
said 'What can we do?'.
     Finally, the limo pulled up outside of the club in which the
after party was already in full swing. The four of us made our way
inside and Ryan escorted Reese to a table and went to get her
something to drink.
     "Look, it's Scott Wolf," I whispered to AJ, pointing towards the
star, who's dimples were out in full force.
     "I know! There's Love and Carson!" AJ whispered back, pointing
to Jennifer Love Hewitt and Carson Daly, sitting together at a table
near Reese. We both began to giggle a little like school children as
we pointed out the various stars around the room.
     I went to get drinks for the two of us, and when I returned I
decided to broach the subject that had been on my mind since the car
ride. "AJ, about Reese. You weren't being very nice to her."
     "Seth, don't start," AJ sighed.
     "Listen, Reese is a good person. She and I spent some time
together today and got to know each other. I like her, AJ. I don't
want to have to worry about you and her not getting along, okay?
She's going to be a part of my life for a long time."
     AJ sighed and looked across the room to where Ryan and Reese
were sitting, talking with Sarah Michelle Gellar and her boyfriend,
Jerry O'Connell. "All right, Seth. I'm sorry. I'll try and be more
pleasant. I just hate to think of you being unhappy because she got
pregnant."
     "I'm not unhappy, AJ. It's all going to work out just fine," I
assured her.
     "Excuse me. Would you like to dance? If it's okay with your
date, of course," Freddie Prinz, Jr asked as he approached AJ. She
smiled and looked towards me, putting on a show of silently asking
for my permission.
     "Of course. Just don't forget who's date you are," I said,
making my voice stern.
     "How could I ever forget you?" AJ laughed as she took the movie
hunk's hand and moved to join the others on the dance floor.
     "Lose your date?" a voice asked from behind me. I turned around
and smiled at Scott Wolf.
     "She's just a friend," I said. Even after so many months in
L.A., it was still amazing for me to find myself face to face with
actors and actresses that I'd watched on television or in the movies.
     "Yeah. You came with Ryan, right?" Scott asked, smiling. I felt
a small jolt of fear at the words, but forced myself to smile.
     "AJ and I shared a limo with Ryan and Reese," I explained.
     "Yeah. I saw that. So are you the friend that's living with
them?" Scott asked. His face looked so innocent, so boyish.
     "Wow. Word does get around fast, doesn't it? Yeah, they're being
kind enough to let me use their guest room for awhile," I said,
praying my nervousness didn't show.
     "Really? So you're sleeping in there with Reese? I find that
hard to believe," Scott laughed.
     I felt my face freeze in a fake smile and my heart skip a beat.
"Reese? No, I don't think Ryan would like me sleeping with his
fiance," I laughed. It sounded like a phony laugh even to me.
     "What was your name again?" Scott asked.
     "Seth Barnes," I said.
     "Listen, Seth. I know that Reese isn't Ryan's type, okay? I've
worked with Ryan before. We were friends for awhile. Like you're his
friend now," Scott grinned, his dimples making him look incredibly
sexy.
     "What?" was all I could say. Was Scott saying that he and Ryan
had been lovers? I knew they'd worked together on 'White Squall' a
few years earlier, but surely Ryan would have told me if that
were the case.
     "You don't have to play dumb, Seth. I'm not exactly going to run
out and tell anyone. We have to stick together, you know?" Scott
smiled and winked.
     I felt dizzy as I looked across the club towards Ryan. Scott
watched me curiously for a few moments and then sighed.
     "I guess he didn't tell you about him and me, huh? Well, you
don't have to worry about it. It was a long time ago. We had our fun
and went our separate ways. Anyway, nice chatting with you. Give me a
call if you ever want to....talk," Scott smiled, running his eyes up
and down my body before walking away.
     I continued to stare at Ryan across the room, wondering. Was
Scott lying? What would be the point of that? I'd heard the rumors
around town that Scott was gay and didn't seem to try very hard to
hide it, at least not from his co-workers and the rest of the
industry. Why wouldn't Ryan have told me?
     "Care to dance?" a woman asked me. I smiled and agreed and we
made our way to the floor where we were soon dancing alongside of AJ
and Freddie.
     Try as I might, though, I couldn't keep my mind off of what
Scott Wolf had said. I continued to look towards Ryan and Reese as
they chatted with Sarah Michelle and Jerry, and then Love and Carson.
Soon, though, I saw Reese whisper something in Ryan's ear and then
the two of them stood up and said their good byes to their companions.
     I watched as Ryan's eyes scanned the club, for a few seconds
allowing illogical jealousy to invade my brain as I wondered who he
was looking for- Me or Scott? He soon spotted me, though, and he and
Reese made their way out to us.
     "Reese is really tired. Did you guys want to stay for awhile, or
leave with us?" Ryan asked.
     "I think I'm ready to go," I said, smiling at my dancing
companion. "Thank you, it's been fun."
     "I'm ready, too, I guess," AJ said.
     "Oh, come on. Don't let this old married couple drag you away,"
Freddie smiled.
     "Old married couple, huh?" Ryan laughed at his former co-star.
For another second, jealousy took possession of me. If Ryan had
slept with Scott during the filming of 'White Squall', how did I
know he hadn't slept with Freddie during 'I Know What You Did Last
Summer'? Stop it! I told myself.
     "We shared a limo," AJ explained. "Besides, isn't that your date
over there?" Freddie looked over his shoulder and smiled.
     "Oh, yeah. I guess it is. Well, it was nice dancing with you,"
he said.
     The four of us made our way out and back into the car. I gave AJ
a slight nudge on the arm. "What was up with that? Does Scott have
some competition?" I laughed.
     "Hey, a good looking guy asks me to dance, I say yes," AJ
smiled. "Right, Reese? C'mon, we ladies have to stick together on
these things."
     Reese seemed surprised at AJ's change in attitude, but smiled.
"I have to agree with Amy Jo," she smiled.
     "Call me AJ, please. All my friends do," AJ said. I could have
kissed her at that moment for being such a good friend. The rest of
the ride was very pleasant, and we dropped AJ off at her place before
the car took the three of us back home.
     "I'm so exhausted. It was fun, though, seeing everyone," Reese
smiled. "Thank you for talking me into going, Ryan."
     "I knew you'd have fun, Ree. You always were a party girl," Ryan
grinned.
     "Funny. Good night, you two," Reese smiled as she went back to
her bedroom.
     "So, did you enjoy your first premiere?" Ryan asked, reaching
out and touching the side of my face.
     "I guess so," I answered. I kept telling myself not to be angry
or to act foolishly, but I couldn't help it. I was suddenly wondering
what else Ryan might have kept from me.
     "What's wrong?" Ryan asked, reading my mood instantly.
     "Nothing," I lied.
     "Don't give me that! What's going on?" Ryan asked.
     I looked him in the face, wondering for the first time if I
really knew everything that was going on behind those crystal blue
eyes. "Why didn't you ever tell me about you and Scott Wolf?" The
words came out all wrong, sounding like an accusation of some kind.
     "WHAT?" Ryan asked, sounding shocked.
     "You and Scott. He told me you were lovers. He knew all about
you and me," I said.
     "That asshole! Seth, I've hardly seen Scott in years, okay?"
Ryan said.
     "He didn't say you had, Ryan. He just told me that you were
lovers while you were working together. Why didn't you tell me?"
     "What's to tell? I told you that I'd had relationships with guys
in the past. Scott and I were four years ago, Seth, and he was the
last before you. It wasn't anything serious," Ryan explained.
     I felt overwhelmingly hurt. "You should have told me!" I
insisted angrily.
     "WHY? You've never sat down and named your past lovers, why
should I have to?"
     "Because my past lovers weren't Scott Wolf!" I said, the words
sounding irrational even to me.
     "Oh come on! You're jealous, aren't you? Of something that
happened years ago!" Ryan sounded incredulous.
     "Damn it, Ryan. I don't like secrets. I don't like being told
things about you by someone who seems to know you better than I do!"
     "Give me a break, Seth. Scott and I were just sex. That's it.
There was no love. He seduced me. I hadn't been with a guy since high
school and Scott seduced me. It wasn't any deeper than that!" Ryan
was starting to sound angry.
     "I'm not upset because you slept with Scott, Ryan. I'm upset
that you didn't tell me," I said.
     "Have you ever told me about your past relationships?"
     "That's not the same thing! They're not going to come up to you
at a party and rub it in. I should have been prepared. You should
have told me!" I yelled.
     "I'm going to bed. I'm not going to deal with you when you're
like this. Good night," Ryan said, storming off towards the bedroom.
I sat down on the sofa. I was right, damn it! Ryan was the one who
should have told me about Scott. I was right!
     After a few minutes of telling myself this, though, I realized
that there was no way I could convince even me. I'd overreacted big
time. Ryan was right, the subject had never come up. It probably
would have eventually.
     Still, I felt incredibly jealous. Scott Wolf! Who was I compared
to a movie star? Somehow, when Ryan's past lovers had just been vague
shadows that I'd confined to his past pre-stardom days, I'd been able
to feel secure in the knowledge that I was better than them. But now!
Scott Wolf! How could I even compete?
     "I love you, Seth. I've never loved anyone like I love you and I
never will," Ryan whispered from behind me as if reading my thoughts.
I turned around to see him standing behind the sofa, dressed for bed
in his silk boxers.
     "God, Ryan. How can you love me when I act like such a big
baby?" I asked, blushing a little.
     Ryan smiled. "I just do. Let's go to bed, okay? We can tell each
other everything about our pasts tomorrow if you want. Every name,
every date, everything. But let's just go to bed now, okay?"
     "Okay. I'm sorry, Ryan." I said, standing up to join him.
     "Don't worry about it. We all act crazy sometimes," Ryan smiled.
     "Excuse me! Sorry to interrupt, but could one of you do me a huge
favor? I need some lobster. There's no way I'm going to be able to
get to sleep unless I get some," Reese said from the hallway.
     Ryan and I looked at each other and smiled.

***** I hope you can all survive the addition of a THIRD Scott to the
tale! Please send any suggestions or comments to
justins_boy@hotmail.com