Date: Wed, 17 Mar 1999 20:09:52 PST
From: Justin's Boy <justins_boy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ryan's Love 9

********This is a complete work of fiction and is not meant to imply
anything about the sexuality of Ryan Phillippe or anyone else mentioned.


     "Someone had a good time in New York," AJ said, grinning. I looked
across the table at her and smiled. It was my first day back to work and
AJ and I were sitting in the commissary.
     She was right, too. I'd felt like I was walking on air all day and
I just couldn't keep the smile off of my face. Every time it started to
go away, I'd catch sight of the ring on my finger and it would return
instantly.
     "You could say that," I smiled. "Thank you, AJ. You have no idea
what this trip did for me. I owe you a lot."
     "You don't owe me anything, Seth. That's what friends are for. But,
if you could arrange for Julie to be the focus of the show from now
on........" AJ laughed, referring to her character.
     "Mind if we join you?" a voice asked behind me. I turned around and
smiled up at Tangi Miller and Simon Rex. Tangi played Elena on the show
and Simon was guesting as an art student with whom Felicity becomes
entangled.
     "Sure, pull up a chair," AJ smiled.
     "Thanks. Seth have you met Simon?" Tangi asked, sitting down. I
shook my head. "Simon, this is Seth Barnes, one of our writers."
     "Nice to meet you," I smiled as Simon and I shook hands. I vaguely
knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that Simon had been on MTV and
was trying to break into serious acting. There'd been some sort of
scandal involving him, but at the moment I couldn't remember what.
     "Yeah. You're a writer, huh? You look more like an actor," Simon
smiled.
     "Thanks. I think I'd better stick with writing, though. If I don't
want to starve to death, that is," I smiled.
     "Where have you been? I haven't see you in a few days," Tangi
asked, starting to eat her salad.
     "I had a few days off," I said, shooting a private smile at AJ.
     "Do anything exciting?" Simon asked between mouthfuls of a tuna
sandwich.
     "Not really. Just relaxed mostly," I said, noticing AJ trying not
to laugh.
     "Hey, room for one more?" Scott Foley asked, walking up to the
table.
     "Sure. Looks like we all had the same idea at the same time," AJ
said, scooting down a little to make room for Scott.
     "Nice ring, Seth. Is that new? I don't think I noticed it before,"
Tangi said, pointing towards my hand with her fork.
     I looked down at the ring Ryan had given me and couldn't help but
smile once again. I heard AJ make a small noise in her throat as she
noticed the ring for the first time, too. I looked into her eyes and
nodded almost imperceptibly and her face broke into a huge grin.
     "Yeah, I just got it yesterday in fact," I told Tangi. She held out
her hand, so I extended mine, letting her admire the ring. Simon leaned
forward, taking a closer look. I noticed that Scott's attention was
focused directly on his meal and felt a twinge of guilt for flaunting
the ring in front of him.
     "Who's it from?" Simon asked. I blushed a little, not wanting to
discuss my personal life with a total stranger, especially not in front
of Scott.
     "Tangi, are you still having trouble with that scene?" AJ asked,
effectively coming to my rescue by changing the subject. The two women
began to talk across the table to each other, dominating the
conversation, with occasional contributions from Simon, Scott, and I.
     "I have to get going. It was nice to meet you, Seth. See you guys
later," Simon said after about half an hour. We all said our good byes
as he left the commissary.
     "What do you think?" Tangi grinned, leaning across the table
conspiratorially towards AJ, once Simon was gone.
     "Cute. But not my type," AJ smiled.
     "You're insane! He's h-o-t hot!" Tangi laughed back.
     "Wasn't there something about him, some big controversy or
something?" I asked, trying to recall just what it had been.
     "He made adult videos," Scott chimed in. "Just solo ones, though."
     "I don't think it's that big of a deal. It really shouldn't affect
his career, not as long as he can act," AJ said. We all nodded in
agreement.
     "It has, though. He had a sitcom deal lined up that fell through
because of his films," Tangi said, shaking her head.
     "Well, when people see him on the show, they'll know he can act,"
AJ concluded as we all started to gather up our stuff to leave. As we
went our separate ways, AJ grabbed my hand, ran her finger across the
ring and mouthed the word 'Later', giving me a look that made it clear
that I was going to tell her everything, or else.
     I found myself walking next to Scott as we returned to the set.
"How's it going?" I asked, hoping he wasn't feeling awkward.
     "Great. So, does the ring mean you're engaged?" Scott asked,
looking at me curiously. It was obviously something he'd been waiting to
find out since Tangi had brought the ring to everyone's attention.
     "No. It's just a symbol of what Ryan and I mean to each other," I
said. "I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable, Scott. I'm sorry Tangi
brought it up in front of you."
     "Not at all, Seth. Don't worry about it. Ryan is one lucky guy,
though. When are we gonna meet him?" Scott asked, stopping as we reached
the door to his dressing room. I looked down at the ground for a moment,
not sure what to say.
     "I don't know, really. He's away for awhile," I finally said.
     "Oh. Well, see you later, okay?" Scott asked, opening the door. I
nodded and continued on down the hall towards the writers' office.

			       ************

     I ran my thumb and index finger over my eyes, which were beginning
to ache. I'd been working on rewrites for over three hours and it was
definitely time for a break.
     I made my way towards AJ's dressing room, which was fast becoming
sort of a base for several of us who worked on the show to hang out in.
The door was open, as it usually was, and I popped my head inside to see
who was there.
     For once, it was empty. I felt a little disappointed, since I'd
been wanting to talk to AJ about my three days with Ryan. She was the
only person I could open up to about our relationship, even a little.
     I went inside and picked up a newspaper lying on the sofa. I
flipped through it aimlessly, waiting for AJ or anyone else to put in an
appearance before I had to get back to work. One line of type caught my
eye and my heart sank as I read the words.
     'Word from New York is that a certain super couple is on the outs.
Set siders say that things are far from pleasant between the two and
that their relationship is going nowhere. Meanwhile, tongues are wagging
over the young actor being seen around town with a mysterious male
companion. Our spies tell us these two guys seemed very close. Could the
mystery man be the cause of the split?'
     I put down the paper and dropped my head into my hands. This
wouldn't be good for Ryan's career. The day out sight seeing had been
too risky, as I'd feared. The clues in the blind item were so blatantly
obvious, I felt sure that anyone could guess who the couple in question
was.
     "Everything okay?" A voice asked. I looked up at Scott Speedman
with more than a little surprise. That was about as much as I'd ever
heard him speak when he wasn't rehearsing or taping a scene.
     "Yeah, Scott. Everything's fine," I smiled, knowing that it
probably looked as fake as it felt.
     "Do you know where AJ is? We were going to read through a few of
our scenes," Scott said.
     "No, I was waiting for her myself actually."
     Scott came inside and sat down on the other end of the sofa. He
stretched his arm across and picked up the paper i'd dropped, still open
to the gossip column. He started to read silently. I picked up a
magazine from the table and began to flip through it restlessly, not
really seeing the pages. My mind was on Ryan and whether or not he'd
seen the blind item, or heard anything about it.
     "Do you ever try to guess who these things are about?" Scott asked
suddenly, still looking at the paper. I looked over at him and shrugged
my shoulders, not trusting myself to speak.
     "It passes the time, any way. This one looks easy enough. A super
couple filming in new york. Possible clues... pleasant, nowhere,
mysterious, tongues, wagging. Those are the standouts. So, lets see.
Pleasant. The thing that comes to mind is Pleasantville. Who's in that?"
Scott was thinking out loud, mostly, and not really speaking to me. I
stared at him, my heart pounding.
     "Did you see that movie? I don't really remember who was in it.
Nowhere. That's a movie, I saw it a few months ago. Lots of stars in it,
though. Which of them are part of a super couple, though? I think....
Ryan Phillippe. He's dating Reese Witherspoon, right? Was she in
Pleasantville? I think she was. Well, there we go. That one's done,"
Scott mumbled.
     "I don't believe those. They probably make them up as they go
along," I said hastily.
     "Nah, I think they're mostly true. They just can't print the names.
They'd be sued constantly if they did," Scott smiled.
     "How would you like it? What makes you think that there's not stuff
about you written in there, thinly veiled so everyone guesses something
that's none of their business?" I snapped, losing control.
     I regretted it instantly. Scott's face turned a bright shade of red
as he looked down at the floor. I cursed myself for being so stupid.
Scott Speedman was a very shy person who didn't open up with someone,
even for normal conversations, unless he was comfortable with them. It
amazed me that he was so able to become his character, Ben, that all of
his shyness vanished when he was acting.
     "Scott, I'm really sorry," I said quickly.
     "No problem. I have to go," Scott stood up and moved for the door.
I felt desperate for a moment, wanting to do something to repair the
crushed chance at friendship that had been so tentatively offered by
Scott.
     AJ walked through the door at that moment, halting Scott's
departure. "Hey guys. What's up?"
     "Nothing. I came to read through those scenes with you," Scott
said, his face still a deep shade of red. AJ looked from him to me
curiously.
     I sighed and got to my feet, a pulse throbbing in my right temple.
"I have to get back to work. Scott, I'm really sorry. It's just been a
long day," I said, walking out into the hall and slowly going back
towards the office.

			       ************

     Later that night, I sat on the sofa in my apartment, flipping
through the channels once more as I waited for Ryan's nightly call. I
was feeling pretty miserable, both about the blind item and about how
i'd treated Scott Speedman. The only thing that cheered me up in the
slightest was looking at the ring on my finger and remembering Ryan's
words as he'd slipped it on.
     I had finally decided on a rerun of I Love Lucy to try and lift my
spirits when the doorbell rang. I sighed, not really wanting to see
anyone. Especially not when Ryan would be calling soon.
     I opened the door to AJ, who smiled and looked at me with her head
tilted to one side, once again looking like she was reading my mind, or
trying to at least.
     "Hey. What brings you here?" I smiled.
     "I wanted to talk to you, Seth. Can I come in?" I nodded and AJ
walked past me into the apartment. I gestured towards the living room
and shut the door. AJ chose one end of the sofa and I sat at the other,
facing her as I muted Lucy and Ethel's shenanigans.
     "Okay, shoot," I smiled.
     "Scott told me what happened. Speedman, I mean. In my dressing
room," AJ said, looking into my eyes.
     "AJ, you make it sound like I tried to seduce him or something," I
said, aiming for a light tone and failing.
     "I read the blind item in the paper. He said that you flew off the
handle when he talked about it," AJ continued.
     "What do you want me to say, AJ? I was tired and I overreacted to a
minor incident. I doubt I'm the first person to do that."
     "Seth, are you dating Ryan Phillippe?" AJ asked bluntly.
     "Wha...... Oh, I wish...... Come on......" I stuttered, trying to
play it off.
     "I know it's none of my business, Seth. But it all adds up. You
went to New York to visit your Ryan, who's there on business. The paper
pretty much says that things are over with Ryan Phillippe and Reese
Witherspoon and that he was with a guy, all at the same time you were
there. Then there's your odd reaction to Scott," AJ said.
     When I remained silent, she reached forward and put a hand on my
arm, squeezing it lightly. "I'm sorry, Seth. I know it's none of my
business. It's just that your my friend and I care about you. And I know
how these things work with gay actors who're in the closet. I don't want
you to get hurt."
     "AJ, Ryan and I love each other," I whispered, admitting the truth.
She'd already guessed it, and it wasn't like AJ was going to tell
anyone.
     "Oh, Seth. You deserve so much more. You deserve someone who's
going to be able to be with you and be open about what you have. Ryan
will never be able to do that. He'll end up married to a woman who's got
to keep the fact that she's a lesbian in the dark, too, and all the two
of you will ever have is secret meetings and fears that the tabloids are
going to find out," AJ shook her head sadly.
     "AJ, I know you mean well. But you really don't understand how it
is. Ryan could have had that with Reese. Not the lesbian part, but a
marriage that would cover things up nicely. But he loves me, so he ended
it. He told her the truth, for me. He's even asked me to move in with
him once he gets back from New York," I told her, relieved to finally be
able to be completely honest with someone.
     AJ stared back at me for a moment, then smiled. "I hope it works
out, Seth. You really deserve to be happy. I'm here for you, okay? You
can talk to me about anything. Don't let it get all bottled up inside
until you explode at innocent bystanders," AJ grinned.
     "Thanks, AJ. It is nice to be able to talk to someone," I said,
just as the phone rang. I smiled at AJ as I got up to answer it, knowing
it would be Ryan.
     "Hello?"
     "God, I miss you!" Ryan sighed.
     "That's a great way to say hi," I smiled. "How's it going?"
     "Everything's great with the picture. Reese and I aren't at each
others throats any more, thanks to you. But it's lonely here without
you. Much more than it was before you were here," Ryan said.
     "I know. I feel the same way. Like everything is empty around
here," I sighed. AJ walked past me, putting a hand on my arm to get my
attention. I looked up and she smiled and waved good bye. I put up a
hand to stop her.
     "Ryan, AJ's here. She knows, about us," I said, smiling at her. My
words were met with silence for a brief moment in which I could only
hear my heart pounding.
     "What did she say?" Ryan asked. I felt relief that he hadn't been
upset by the news.
     "Oh, this and that. She's the best friend I have, you know," I
smiled at her as she rolled her eyes playfully.
     "Can I talk to her?" Ryan asked. I was a little surprised but I
nodded, as if Ryan could see me, and handed the phone to AJ. She shook
her head, but I put the phone in her hand.
     "Hello?" she asked, blushing a little. She listened for a moment
and then smiled. "Yeah, tell me about it. He's cute, though, so that
makes up for it," she grinned at me to let me know that I was the
subject of their conversation.
     "He told you that?" AJ suddenly blushed deeper and swung a hand
towards me. "Well, it can't be the first time you've heard it. Yeah,
right. Listen, Seth is chomping at the bit to talk to you, so I'll let
you go. Okay, bye."
     AJ handed the phone to me and smacked me on the arm. "You told him
I said he was hot?" she demanded, laughing.
     "Well, you did," I smiled.
     "I didn't know I was talking to his boyfriend at the time," AJ
laughed. "I'll be going now. Forgive my nosy intrusion. He seems really
great, Seth. I'm happy for you."
     "AJ, you're the best. I could forgive you anything," I smiled as
she made her exit. I quickly set the phone down and dashed to the
bedroom extension.
     "Ryan?"
     "Yeah, I'm still here. AJ seems really cool, Seth. I'm glad you
told her."
     "Well, I didn't actually. It's a long story. There's another blind
item about you and I, and Reese, in the paper today," I said quietly.
     "Yeah, I've heard. My publicist is getting lots of requests for
confirmations that Reese and I have spilt," Ryan sighed.
     "What did you tell him?"
     "Well, I talked it over with Reese. She wants to just lay low while
we finish the movie and worry about an announcement then. Is that okay
with you?" Ryan asked, sounding a little worried.
     "Of course, Ryan. I don't expect you to go public about us, or
about anything. I'm fine the way things are. I've got your ring to
remind me that I'm important to you, remember?" I asked softly.
     "Yeah, I remember. God, it's so quiet here, Seth. I hate this. Have
you thought about moving into my place? I'm not going to be able to
stand being apart from you any more after I get back."
     "Ryan, I don't know. I'd love to, but I don't think it's the best
idea. People would find out. Being seen in public is one thing, we can
explain that and no one can be sure it's anything but friendship. But if
we live together-"
     "Seth, I don't care. So people in Hollywood will know. It's not
that big of deal. Look at Rock Hudson! Everyone in the business knew he
was gay, but it never got out, not until the end," Ryan rationalized.
     "Ryan, my God. That was a different era. The pre-tabloid journalism
era. The American public wants to know everything about every public
person's life these days, no matter how small the detail. Especially if
it's sexual. You know that. There's no way we can hide our relationship
from the press if I move in with you," I said, worried that he still
felt pressured to prove he loved me at the cost of his career.
     "Maybe I don't want to hide it any more, Seth. Maybe I'm tired of
hiding it," Ryan whispered.
     "Ryan, God knows that I don't think we should have to hide it. But
I know what your career means to you, how hard you've worked for it. I
don't want to cost you that, because I know deep down you'd resent me
for it in the long run," I said, tears stinging my eyes.
     "No, Seth. I wouldn't. Who says my career would end, anyway? Other
actors have come out. Look at Anne Heche! Everyone knows she's a
lesbian, but she's still getting leading lady roles," Ryan argued.
     "Ryan, what are you saying? Do you want to come out?" I asked,
feeling both surprised and wary.
     "God, Seth, I don't know. Not really, I guess. I mean, it's
nobodies business but mine. I'm just saying I want you to move in with
me. Whatever follows that doesn't concern me at the moment."
     "Are you sure, Ryan? Are you one hundred percent sure it's the best
thing to do?"
     "Yeah, Seth. I don't think I could stand it, being in the same city
with you and us not being together," Ryan sighed.
     "We could be together without living together, you know," I
rationalized, part of me wondering why on Earth I was fighting an idea
that I wanted so badly.
     "I don't want you to have to sneak back to your apartment at two
a.m., Seth. It's too much like an affair that way, not a relationship."
     "Okay," I said quietly.
     "Okay? You mean, okay as in yes?" Ryan sounded surprised.
     "Yes. But I want you to know that if you change your mind before
you come back, it's no big deal. I won't be upset, okay?"
     "I won't change my mind. I love you! It's going to be so great,
Seth. We'll be able to wake up in each others arms every morning," Ryan
sounded like an excited schoolboy. "Thank you, Seth."
     "No need to thank me, Ryan. I'm just in it for the home gym," I
joked.
     "You shit," Ryan laughed softly. "What are you doing?"
     "I'm laying here talking to you. Why?" I asked.
     "AJ's gone, right?"
     "Yeah. Why? What do you have in mind, Mr. Phillippe?"
     "Have you ever.... um...... you know, over the phone?" Ryan sounded
a little embarrassed.
     "No. Have you?" I asked.
     "No. But there's a first time for everything, right?" Ryan pointed
out.
     "Okay. So..... what exactly do we do?" I asked, feeling myself
blush a little in the darkness of my room.
     "I don't know. I guess we just tell each other what we'd be doing
if we were together," Ryan said.
     "I'd be kissing you. And running my hands through your hair," I
smiled, closing my eyes. I could almost feel Ryan's lips against mine
and the softness of his hair between my fingers.
     "I'd run my hands down your chest and into your pants," Ryan
sighed. I let my free hand mimic the action Ryan describe, my eyes still
closed. "I'd touch you, feel you getting hard in my hand."
     "And I'd moan, and fall back onto the bed," I whispered, my hand
moving up and down my cock, my eyes still tightly closed.
     "I'd pull your pants off, and kiss my way up your legs," Ryan
moaned into the phone. Both of us were breathing heavily as we talked.
     "Ryan, I need you so much. Make love to me," I gasped, almost
feeling as if he were really in the room with me.
     "Oh, God. I want you so badly, Seth. I love being with you. I love
everything about you. I just want to touch you everywhere and make you
happy," Ryan moaned. I could tell from the little gasps between his
words that he was already close, which wasn't surprising since I was
too.
     "Seth....oh, I love you......." I heard Ryan give a small gasp,
followed by a long moan. I began to cum at the same time, picturing him
in my mind as I did.
     For a few minutes we both breathed heavily into the phone and
didn't say a word. I finally broke the silence once my breathing was
calming down. "You know, I don't think we're very good at phone sex."
     "Well, we have five weeks to practice, right?" Ryan sighed.
     "Yeah. I miss you Ryan," I said, opening my eyes finally and
staring up through the dark at the ceiling.
     "I know. I miss you, too. But we're going to be together soon.
We'll be living together, right?"
     "As long as it's what you really want," I said.
     "It is. I don't think I've ever wanted anything more," Ryan said
earnestly.
     "Me either, Ryan. I'd better let you go. It must be late there," I
sighed, wishing we could talk forever. Or at least until he came back to
me.
     "Yeah. Well, we're one day closer to being back together, right?
Good night. I love you."
     "I love you, too. Bye," I said, hanging up the phone. I turned on
the bedside lamp and held my hand up above my head, staring at the ring.

			       *************

     I knocked on the door, wondering just what I should say to him. I
couldn't be honest, not entirely. But how else should I explain my
behavior?
     Scott Speedman opened the door to his dressing room and stared at
me for a second in surprise. "Hi. What's up?" he asked.
     "Scott, can I talk to you?" I asked. He nodded and we stood there
for another few seconds. "In private?" I finally asked.
     "Oh, sure," Scott blushed a little and moved aside to let me in.
"Sit down," he gestured towards the sofa. I sat, once again wondering
just what I was going to say to try and apologize for being so rude.
     "Scott," I said, once he'd sat down across from me, "I wanted to
apologize for yesterday. I was really rude and it was very uncalled
for."
     "No problem. Don't worry about it," Scott said, his voice sending
the message that we didn't need to discuss it further.
     "I'd like to explain-"
     "You really don't need to. I know why you reacted that way," Scott
interrupted. I stared at him for a few moments, not sure what to think.
Had AJ told him? No, she wouldn't have done that.
     "You do?" I asked.
     "Well, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. You got
mad because you're gay, right?" Scott blushed.
     "What do you mean?" I asked, still not sure what he was trying to
say.
     "I mean....... the gossip columns outing people in blind items and
implying things. You got mad, because you're gay. Aren't you?" Scott
looked momentarily stricken, like he'd made the wrong deduction.
     "Yeah, I am," I smiled, relieved that I wouldn't have to try and
explain why that particular blind item had upset me. "I'm sorry I blew
up at you."
     "Don't worry about it. I'm.... kind of glad I found out, actually,"
Scott looked embarrassed. Oh, no, I thought. Not him, too. It's hard
enough dealing with Scott Foley everyday, tip toeing around his feelings
because he thinks he's in love with me. Now Scott Speedman, too?
     "Um, Scott. Before you say anything, I'm already involved with
someone," I said gently. Scott stared at me for a moment, his face still
red. Then he started to laugh.
     "Oh, Seth, no. I wasn't going to hit on you. I'm not gay," Scott
said between laughs. I felt my own face flush brightly and closed my
eyes for a split second. Egotistical idiot! my brain shouted at me.
     "Not that you're not......you, know. If I was gay, I'd probably be
attracted to you," Scott hastened to add, seeing my embarrassment.
     "Even with this foot in my mouth?" I smiled, shaking my head. "What
did you mean, then? About being glad you'd found out?"
     "Well," Scott said, blushing once again. He was obviously
uncomfortable. "It's just..."
     "You don't have to tell me, Scott. It's no big deal," I said,
wondering what he was trying to say.
     "No, I want to. I've never been very good with my feelings.
Expressing them, I mean. But....." Scott stumbled on while I waited
patiently, my curiosity rising. "You've been hanging out with AJ a lot
recently. You know, in her dressing room, eating together every day,
talking about seeing movies together. I just thought....."
     "You thought AJ and I might be more than friends?" I asked,
realization dawning on me. Scott nodded, blushing even more and looking
down at the ground.
     "Scott, do you have feelings for AJ?" I asked.
     "I....Yeah. She's great. But like I said, I've never been good at
expressing myself. Except when I become someone else," Scott said,
referring to his acting.
     "A lot of people have the same problem Scott. But you have to tell
people how you feel. Otherwise, you'll end up alone in life, wishing
you'd done it when you had the chance," I said softly. For a moment, I
wondered what would have happened the night Ryan and I had met in the
club if I hadn't tried to make it as clear as possible that I was
interested. That had certainly been taking a chance, especially since
he'd been there with his girlfriend.
     "Easier said than done, though. I've tried, but I just can't get
the words to come out right," Scott sighed. He seemed to be growing more
comfortable talking to me by the moment.
     "Would you like me to pass her a note in study hall?" I joked,
bringing a grin to Scott's face.
     "Nah. I'm not a very good writer, either," Scott laughed. "How do
you do it? Be open about your feelings, I mean, not write."
     "I don't know. I've always been that way. It's just a part of life.
You can't keep everything bottled up," I said.
     "Is AJ dating anyone?" he asked, blushing just a little.
     "No. She's not. And I know that she likes you as a friend, Scott.
Maybe if you gave her a chance by telling her how you'd feel, you could
really have something. And even if she doesn't return your feelings, you
won't have to always wonder,"  I said.
     "Thanks. I'll think about it, Seth. You're a good guy. Not a lot of
people would have come to apologize again just for snapping at me
yesterday," Scott smiled, standing up.
     "Well, I felt really bad about it Scott. I'm glad there's no hard
feelings," I smiled back, heading for the door.
     Once I was in the hall and back on my way to the writers' office,
Scott's words ran through my mind. I wondered if he'd tell AJ how he
felt, and if she'd feel the same.
     "Hey, Seth!" a voice called out, halting me. I turned around and
saw Scott Foley sticking his head out of his dressing room door. "Can I
talk to you for just a minute?"
     "Sure, Scott. What's up?" I asked, walking back the way I'd come
and stepping inside as he closed the door.
     "You were so right!" Scott grinned.
     "Of course I was, I'm always right. About what?" I asked, smiling.
     "About it being easier to tell someone I was gay the second time!"
Scott's face was encased in a huge grin that seemed to be a new
permanent feature.
     "That's great Scott! Who'd you tell?" I asked, feeling happy for
him.
     "A guy I met," Scott grinned sheepishly.
     "A guy, huh? Is it serious?" I asked, smiling.
     "I think so. We were having a drink together and talking about
stuff, you know. And it just sort of slipped out. It was so easy! And
then he said he was, too, and.....well, you know. I think I'm in love,
Seth!"
     "Scott, it couldn't have happened to a better guy. I mean that! I
almost feel a little jealous!" I grinned.
     "Thanks, Seth. This wouldn't have happened without you, you know,"
Scott said.
     "I think you give me too much credit!" I laughed, as a knock
sounded at the door.
     Before Scott could replied the door opened and Simon Rex popped his
head inside. The smile on his face froze when he saw the two of us
standing there. "Oh, sorry. Didn't know you were busy," he said. He
continued to stand there, and I looked between him and Scott, noticing
the glance they were exchanging.
     "It's okay, I have work to do. See you later, guys," I smiled
leaving them alone. It looked like Tangi was going to be out of luck
with Simon.

			      ***************

     The rest of the day passed quickly, and I had an overwhelming sense
that everything was right with the world. Or, at least with my little
part of it. I drove off the studio lot and headed my car towards home,
looking forward to Ryan's call. I flipped on the radio and began to sing
along, loudly and badly, with the song.
     I was only a few minutes away from my apartment when the song ended
and the Disc Jockey's voice filled the car. She began to prattle on,
giving brief summaries of the top national events of the day. I reached
for the knob, intending to turn the channel to find more music.
     "And topping the list of entertainment news tonight is some good
news from actor Ryan Phillippe of 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', and
his girlfriend of two years, his 'Cruel Intentions' co-star actress
Reese Witherspoon. The couple announced today their engagement to be
married later this year. Phillippe is 24 and Witherspoon is 22. It will
be the first marriage for both."
     I pulled my car over to the side of the road, hearing a rushing
noise in my ears, and feeling the pounding of my heart in my throat. I
sat there, staring out through the windshield, the words 'first marriage
for both' echoing through my mind.

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