Date: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 01:30:10 +0200
From: Dimitris Nikolopoulos <mitsaso_x@hotmail.com>
Subject: Slutty X-Men Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This story contains (or will contain in the next chapters)
consenting gay sex, and even when there is no hardcore sex described the
plot and story will generally be about gay or gay-friendly characters, so if
you're not interested in those kind of stuff you should stop reading now.
The story is a complete piece of fiction and doesn't imply anything about
the sexuality of the bunch of merry mutants, whose copyright belongs to
Marvel and Fox (for the movie version).

This is a story set in the X-men Movies Universe (aka Movieverse). However,
I might use X-Men characters that hadn't been seen in the movies, but only
in the comics. If you haven't read the comics there's no need to worry about
not understanding stuff, since I will re-introduce those characters and
won't use traits that they had on the comics. The story is about a new bunch
of mutants in the Xavier Institute and their crazy and horny adventures, but
the real X-Men will also be used a lot. I intend to write this story in
soap-opera style but there won't necessarily be angsty and all about sad and
tragic events, since I'm mostly oriented at writing comedy. I mean, there
already many stories about new, gay mutants that join the X-Men here in
Nifty Archives and I liked them all, but they also inspired me to write a
similar kind of story with a whole new, less serious perspective!

The story is set a couple of months after the events in X2, so Jean Grey is
dead, Nightcrawler's in the team, etc. It will be narrated from the main
character's point of view. The POV might change in later chapters if I think
it's necessary for the plot to unfold.

Any comments, criticism and suggestions about new subplots and characters
are totally welcome! Just e-mail me at: Mitsaso_X@hotmail.com or
Mitsaso@gmail.com


SLUTTY X-MEN
Chapter 1: Burning Down The House


I was having a very naughty dream. It involved a hunky, mysterious stranger
with a big cock and my seriously eager and motivated tongue. My tongue
traveled all the way from the gorgeous, square jaw of the aforementioned
mysterious stud, all the way down to the valley between his bulging pecs,
even souther to his rippling abs and hairy, defined treasure trail...all the
way down to my special treat for tonight: a big uncut schlong that could
only rise up by the magical touch of my ever-hungry tongue and its special,
patented nourishment.

Of course I realized it was only a dream. Only in dreams you can meet
perfect, square-jawed strangers and get down and nasty with them without
even exchanging a couple of very-much needed words such as "hello", "what's
your sign" or at least a "Wanna fuck?" that could logically make the
progression to the current raging cock-sucking. But hey, nobody tries to
look for logical continuity in the horny dreams of someone who seriously
needs to get really laid.

I deep-throated the guy with such eagerness that his pubic hair were getting
in my nostrils, making it hard to breath through them, considering that my
mouth was already too busy to be used for breath. But since it was a
unrealistic dream I wasn't gonna die from choking on a big cock, right? So I
just kept sucking with added pleasure, as I traced the stranger's anal
entrance with my sneaky little index finger.

I found out that his asshole was already relaxed and lubed up, so I looked
up and smiled to him with an evil gleam in my eye. It's really cool when the
unrealistic nature of someone's dreams gets used to make the dream more
convenient.

I pulled the stranger's sculpted legs and placed them on my shoulders, as I
made sure that the tip of my enraged cock was touching the entrance of his
pink, gaping little asshole that soon wouldn't be that little anymore. I
prepared myself to push all my cock in at once and make the manly little
square-jawed bitch scream like a not-manly-at-all little girl.

But noooo, it seemed like this was the perfect moment for a screech-like
voice to wake me up. Darn.

"BURN THE MUTIE!!!!!"

I opened my eyes and found myself tied up like a salami on a big wooden pole
that was protruding from a big pile of chopped wood. A large, angry crowd
was gathered around me and screamed obscenities of all kind. My current
situation made it apparent that they had much bloodier plans ahead than just
lynching me and get it over with. I looked down on myself in order to
appraise the situation.

My hands were tied behind the pole and a big rope was snaked around me all
the way from my neck to my ankles, covering my whole body. That was actually
good, because it was hiding the hard-on that my filthy little dream had just
caused. There's no use in getting humiliated on top of being lynched or
whatever these kind people had in mind for me.

"BURN THE MUTANT SCUM!!"

"YEAH, BURN HIM!"

Now that was uncomfortable. I never liked being in the center of attention
anyway. And I certainly seemed to have the attention of all these nice,
bigoted little people.

Wait a minute. Big, wooden pole? Chopped wood?

Did these people intended to burn me on the stake?

Oh come on, that is such a cliche!!!!

"C'mon people, what do you think this is? Fucking Salem?" I yelled at them.
They could at least kill me in more original and creative ways.

"Actually, this place is called 'Salem Centre'. Just so that you would
know...." a kind, middle aged woman form the crowd informed me, before
adding: "...you filthy mutie."

"Oh, now, why should you all be such hostile individuals? Can't we all sit
down and talk about this ina civilized manner while drinking a cup of tea?"
mouthed out in exasperation.

"No, not really. we'd rather watch you burn down and then go home and watch
TV. 'Passions' is on in 15 minutes, there's no time for chit-chat!" Another
middle-aged woman informed me with scary sincerity. "

"A cup of tea? What the fuck do you think we are, British??" a teenage boy
shouted at me with extra venom in his voice. Thank God I wasn't English, or
else I would have been really offended by that.

"What did we agree about using such filthy language in the presence of
strangers, young man?" the teenager's mother scolded him right away.

"Sorry Mom." he responded, blushing and looking at the ground.

Great. They are about to burn alive a slightly innocent person just because
he's a mutant, yet they still care about language rating issues. Fucking
Great. Well, at least that gave me an idea.

"Fuck you!!! Fuck you all, you stupid humans! I'm gonna rape your mothers
and make you eat the shit straight out of a horse's ass! I'm gonna get you
cocksucking assholes a reason to fear mutants!!!"

A bunch of shocked mothers started putting their hands on their children's
ears to make sure that this evening wouldn't be a traumatic experience that
would mark their lives for all eternity.

"Oh, just burn him already!" a young mother that held a five-year-old yelled
at a hooded figure, that was apparently the guy that was supposed to set me
on fire. "Quick, before my little boy sees or hears something too heavy for
his young, tender age!" she added, as her little boy pointed at me and
giggled teasingly.

The hooded man grabbed a litre of gasoline in one hand and a handy little
torch in the other and approached me. "Any last words?" he said with a smirk
(which wasn't visible since the hood was covering it anyway).

"Yeah. Your momma sucks cock in Hell!" I screamed hysterically. More mothers
gasped in shock and tried to shut the ears of their giggling little brats.

"Famous last words." he whispered angrily as he searched his pocket for
something.

"What the hell are you looking for?" I asked, trying to make some chit-chat
and treasure what seemed to be the last few moments of my life.

"A lighter" he answered as he kept looking at his pocket.

"A lighter? What do you intend to use that for?"

"Light the torch." he said indifferently.

"What? You're gonna light a torch with a lighter and THEN torch me with it?
Why not use the lighter straight away?" I was furious by that moment,
furious that I was going to be killed by a bunch of really stupid people.
How degrading was that?

"The torch makes it more dramatic" he smirked.

"More idiotic, you mean! This is the fucking 21st Century! Torches have no
fucking place in the 21st Century!!"

"Watch it with the language, mutie. You make the ladies upset."

"Well, they're gonna get me killed, shouldn't I repay them with some oral
violence from my side?" I said, and then yelled to a random old lady in the
crowd: "What are you looking at? Go fuck your dog!"

The hooded man stood up and grabbed me from the neck: "You know what your
problem is? You're not just a mutie, you're also so damn immature! Grow, up,
will ya?"

"It's not like you guys are giving me ANY chance to actually grow up." I
shot back, as I motioned him to the ropes around me.

"Voila!" He sang, as he finally found the lighter he was searching for all
that time. "Kiss my ass goodbye, mutie-boy"

"WAIT...!" I screamed at the hooded man. "There's...there's a mutant ninja
Drag Queen right behind you and she's about to strangle you with her feather
boa!!!"

"Yeah right. And my real father is Elvis." he mumbled as he lighted his
torch.

That was when the drag queen that was standing right behind him snapped his
neck with her killer feather boa, saving my life.

"Hello, handsome." she winked at me. "Missed us?"

I smiled at her although I tried to pretend that I was mad at her. "Dammit,
Lola! What took you guys so long?"

"Nu-uh-uh, snugglecakes! Only codenames during X-Missions, okay? So that
makes it Glitter Princess to you!" she said and flashed me her Colgate-child
smile. "You look quite hot in all this bondage stuff, you know".

"Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes as I used my own mutant powers to escape
from my bonds. My hands above the elbow instantly turned into katana swords,
slashing away all the ropes that held me hostage within seconds. I looked
around me and I saw that my teammates were already taking care of the
lynch-mob that had been gathered around me.

"I wonder why you didn't do that from the instant you came to your senses,
Dave!" another one of my teammates, Monique, asked as she used her
telekinesis to give wedgies to all the dangerous-looking people in the
crowd. At least twenty bulky males from the crowd had their underwear
mysteriously pulled up until it covered their faces...all at the same time!

"My random knowledge power informs me that he simply wanted to buy us some
time so that we would get to kick some bigoted human ass too!" Frank
enlightened her as he bashed in the head of a Uzi-wielding old lady that had
apparently escaped Monique's attention.

"You all is a bunch of show-offs!" was all that Jerry could comment with his
hideous usage of the English language. He had joined us straight from his
homeland in Greece, and let's just say that his knowledge of any other
languages than Greek was somewhat minimal...but he was getting better every
day. I think. He was chasing away
a bunch of women and children from the crowd, scaring them away with his
nakedness; you see, his X-uniform is only a skimpy little G-string with an
"X" imprinted on it. But I'll explain that later.

I looked around to see if there was any possible danger that was yet missing
our attention. The Glitter Princess was already taking care of our escape
route by creating a sparkling cloud of glitter dust in the air that would
blind everyone and cover our escape.

Then I saw it. That kid that had been pointing at me and laughing at me all
the time. The little bastard was still there and giggling.

Now, if there was something that really pissed me off, that was having
people laughing at me with no possible explanation. I leapt all the way from
the spot I was supposed to burn on to the little brat laughing at me and
turned my right hand into a very cool looking scythe while mid-air.

As I reached the little bastard, I made sure I was positioned in such a way
that I wouldn't spoil my uniform with the blood that would gush from the
brat's decapitated body.

"--END SIMULATION!--"

The scene around me instantly turned back into the empty walls and floor of
the Danger Room, where we were being tested through a very high-tech Virtual
Reality Simulation Program at the time. No need to mention that instead of
decapitating the boy, I just landed on my butt on the cold metal floor of
the Danger Room. The fact that our teacher Cyclops had interrupted the
session in the middle of the battle surely didn't make me very hopeful for a
future raise of my grades here in the Xavier Institute For Gifted Children.

"What the hell?" Was all that an enraged Monique could ask. My teammates
were all really surprised from that interruption, so that probably meant
that it was my mistake...again.

"Dave!! What were you thinking this time?" Mr. Summers yelled at me. I wore
my most innocent and sarcastic smile and turned to face him.

"What, Mr. Summers? What did I do again?"

"What DIDN'T you do, you mean. First of all, you fell asleep during the
simulation! They were about to torch you, dammit! How could you fall
asleep?"

That reminded my of my little filthy dream during the simulation. I grinned,
but Cyke surely didn't know what caused this grin, so he just gave me a
harsh look that informed me that he still expected me to answer.

"Well, I got bored. How could I not fall asleep? We've been through this
very simulation five times already! I would have preferred some variety,
please! Wasn't Mr. McCoy able to programme a couple of different programme
routines for us to go through? Why do we have to visit that bigoted town of
prudes every time? And why do I always have to be the one on the big pole
thingy and about to get roasted every time, since I can escape it every
time? Frank over there has the most passive mutant power, he should be the
'damsel in distress'!!"

"Hey!!" Frank protested.

"It's not about the power Dave. It's about being able to handle an angry
crowd by yourself while your teammates are still on their way to assist
you."

"But it's not realistic! Since those people knew I was a mutie, it meant
that they had seen me using my power of turning my limbs in sharp melee
weapons! And if they knew I could turn my hands in swords, why would they
tie me up like this on the pole? It's just not believable! You should fire
the guy that made up that unrealistic routine!" I grumbled.

"Ehm, that would be me." Mr. Summers said with a soft, dead-cold voice.

"Urr, whatever", I mumbled as I looked away. That damned empty room had
nothing to pretend you were looking at!

"Dave. Let's say that you're justified about the falling asleep part. What
about the immense swearing that escaped your little mouth? You were supposed
to slow the crowd down until your teammates arrived, not anger them into
burning you faster than what they were supposed to!"

"Well, they just kept saying the same thing every time I went through that
simulation, the same freaking lines. I just wanted to see if they were
programmed to say something different if our little chat was taken to more
extreme heights. Boy these humans were surely programmed to be prude like
nuns!" I answered with an innocent, sheepish grin.

"Actually, this VR system is very intricate, and can randomly create very
complex virtual characters before planting them into every simulation.
That's the information my powers can pick up." Frank interfered in order to
show-off his weird mutant power again. You see, he wasn't a psychic, but he
could pick up random information, even the most personal kind of information
that can't be picked up even by telepaths, and store it in the enormous
special storage room that his mutant brain was. Well, that power was kind of
a wildcard. He could know the score of a friendly neighborhood baseball game
in Australia from a century ago, and at the same time he might not know the
title of the new Brad Pitt movie. And that's exactly why he's such a little
smartass...He likes to be the broody, silent one that only speaks when he
has something sarcastic, funny or impressive to say, based on his random
knowledge. For example, he did know that I was gay (although I never
actually told him), but he didn't know that our teammate Monique had a huge
crush on him! What a waste of good knowledge, huh? That's why the codename
"Random" was perfectly fitting for him. Although I still believe we should
call him something that would also describe the strange but sexy pastel blue
color that covered all of his body. Yeah, his skin has a soft, whitish blue
complexion. I wonder if his cock is also blue...

Mr. Summers looked back at me, pulling me off my slutty reverie. "Okay,
Dave. Explain that last one thing to me; What's with all the bloodlust? You
tried to decapitate a five-year-old boy!"

"Well that irritating little bunch of pixels was laughing me through four
simulated practice tests! Don't I get to kill the little bastard, just this
one time? It's not fair!"

"But the last time you chopped off the legs of a nun, and the time before
you stabbed a man in a wheelchair 65 times...with a tiny dagger!"

I pretended that I was paying special attention at my nails..."Yeah, well.
They're just pixels. And what do you expect me to do, anyway? My mutant
power is all about melee weapons, such as swords and axes and stuff. I can't
possibly avoid a little bloodshed. Wolverine has his big pointy claws and
nobody expects him to avoid slashing people open with them! "

"That's MR. Wolverine to you, kid." The man in question answered from the
shadows where he had been watching us all the time. He sure seemed to enjoy
our whacky quarrel with our professor.

Cyclops gave him a brief nod and then turned his attention to us. "But you
dragged your teammates in your own bloodlust! In this simulation alone, The
Glitter Princess snapped the neck of a civilian that could have easily been
dealt with non-violently, and Random bashed in the head of a 70-year old
lady!! What if you go on a real mission? I can't have you killing 70-year
old ladies, it won't make humans like us any better!"

"Well maybe you shouldn't have her programmed to have a bloody Uzi on her
then!" Frank whispered.

"And snapping the guy's neck was really inevitable. The last time I just
punched him, and, alas, I broke a nail!" Lola protested in turn.

"But it was a VR simulation! It didn't break for real!!" Mr. Summers shouted
in exasperation.

"Yeah but imagine the shock I went through until I realized that! Oh, my
poor heart...!" she said, putting her palm over her chest like Ingrid
Bergman would do...!
No wonder she's so amazing. She's the diva of our little team. She's also
kinda older, and she often complains that she shouldn't be in a school-like
educational system with us and the other kiddies, but deep down we know she
loves us like we do and just says this in order to play her 'Joan Collins'
moment... The fact that she's the first mutant drag queen in the institute
hasn't provoked any racism problems from others...I mean, what problem would
you have with a glitter-generating mutant cross-dresser with knowledge of
martial arts when you also share the same home with demon-looking mutants or
people with transparent skin and horns and any kind of different appearance
that a mutant gene can give you? Racism is not an issue in this school.
That's why I'm kinda open about being gay too. Where I used to live before
nobody knew about my tendencies to cock-loving. Not that here in the
institute I'm open for all to know, but most of the people close to me are
aware of my sexuality. On the other hand, it's a little difficult for the
other residents on the mansion to find out, since I'm not 'femme' or campy
even in the slightest! (although I like musicals! That should have made them
suspect something!) Plus my best friend is a drag queen, so it's a little
difficult for them to pick me up with their gaydar when I'm hanging around
her...!

"Mr. Summers, we can go now?" asked Gerry, making the poor man wince. You
see, Mr. Summers was also our English Professor.

"Yes, Stalker, you can go now." he said as he placed his hand over his
forehead and scooped up some sweat in exasperation. "We'll repeat the test
some other day. Oh, and don't forget to put something on, okay?"

Gerry just nodded. He knew that his English left a lot to be desired yet, so
he used as much body language as possible. I personally think that his awful
use of English is really cute. He gives the impression of an exotic lover
that you use for other things than talking, so knowledge of English isn't
really needed. I watched his ass wiggling as he walked over to put some
cloths over his G-string. Damn hot!

Gerry is a very unique mutant guy. He is able to turn invisible and
intangible at the same time, but that stands only for his own self. You see,
there other people in the school who can turn either invisible or intangible
(our schoolmate Kitty Pride strucks to mind), but they can use it on other
people or objects too. If Kitty is holding someone's hand while she turns
intangible then that someone will become intangible too. But poor Gerry
can't do that for anyone. He can't even do that for his clothing. When he
turns invisible, his clothing is still visible so even an old lady without
her glasses can trace him. And when he turns intangible, all of his clothing
just falls off.
So Professor Xavier and our resident scientist Mr. McCoy designed a special
G-string for him to use on missions, that can blend in when he turns
invisible and will stay in place when he goes intangible. They said they
can't do any better than that, because only a g-string can work for Gerry's
powers. That's because the 'string' part of the g-string is hidden between
his asscheeks and they worked some high-tech mojo on the front part that
covers his bits...so Gerry's sweet asscheeks have to be in plain sight every
time we go on a "mission". Personally, I could never object to that!!

As we exited the Danger Room, Monique approached me and whispered scoldingly
in my ear. "You shouldn't give him such a hard time...he's still grieving
over the death of Miss Grey."

"Oh yeah. I always forget about that dammit! It's easy to forget that they
were dating...I never even got to meet her."

"Yeah, but you arrived here only a few weeks after her death...you can still
remember all the moodiness and the grieving, non?"

"Okay, I'll give Mr. Summers a break. It's just that I love teasing him...!"
I grinned.

"Watch it, if he knew that you were gay he might have thought that you were
coming on to him...!"  Lola commented as she tucked her man-killing feather
boa in her Prada bag.

"What? Mr. Summers is gay?" Gerry asked in shock. He probably didn't get
what Lola had just said, so she put an arm over his shoulders (It was easy!
She's a foot taller than him!) and pulled away from the rest of the group as
we all walked in the corridors in order to explain to him.

"Well, why did I always have the impression that it was Mr. Wolverine that
was dating Miss Grey and not Summers?" I said, trying to get back into our
previous topic.

"Actually, my powers inform me that you weren't that far from the truth...!"
Frank interrupted again, as Monique shot him one of her patented evil looks.

"Oh please...! Like anybody believes that story you so obviously made
up...!" she started arguing with him again, and her wonderfully bitchy
attitude resurfaced again. Their debates were always fun to listen to,
especially when it came to Frank-generated gossip...Those kids are so blind
to not notice how much they are into each other...!

"Another typical day of living in The Mutie School...oh life is so
wonderful" I thought to myself and grinned to nobody in particular as I kept
walking besides the arguing lovebird-wannabes...

Well, how was I supposed to know that things would soon become a lot more
interesting?

To Be Continued...