Date: Fri, 2 May 2008 19:09:43 +0300
From: Dimitris Nikolopoulos <mitsaso_x@hotmail.com>
Subject: Slutty X-Men Chapter 11

Disclaimer: This story is mostly about gay relationships, and it contains
lots of steamy gay sex! If graphic descriptions of homosexual sex are not
your thing, then what the hell are you doing in a gay site in the first
place? And how did you go through nine chapters without noticing the
graphic gay sex anyway!??!

The characters in this story usually have unprotected sex, but they're
fictional characters...and mutants are immune to HIV anyway (according to
the X-Men comics!). But you guys should know better, right? ALWAYS use a
condom! :-)

The X-Men, Movieverse or Comicverse, all belong to Marvel, Stan Lee and
Fox. Most of them are not gay in the real comics or movies, but that
doesn't apply for this story.

Any comments, criticism and suggestions about new subplots and characters
are absolutely welcomed! Just e-mail me at: Mitsaso@gmail.com

Season Two of the Slutty X-Men begins!!!



			       SLUTTY X-MEN
				Chapter 11
			       No More Tears



The moon was full that night, sheding ample and moody light on the tree
tops, illuminating the clearing amongst them in an eerie way.

It was a very secluded place, not very far from the nearest town, but it
belonged to a wealthy farmer named Ambrosius Quinn.

Mr.Quinn had acres and acres of land there, and nobody really cared to
tresspass that endless land of trees and fields, except for the occasional
teenage couple who needed a peaceful and spacious place like this to
carnally aknowledge each other.

However, that night, something very different was afoot. The people making
their way in those fields had anything but sex on their mind. They were
about fifteen dark figures clad in large purple cloaks, carrying torches,
ancient-looking books and other mystical instruments we don't really wanna
know what they are.

Not all of them though. Four of those mysterious figures were carrying a
coffin, slowly, almost ceremoniously. When they all finally reached a small
altar at the very end of the clearing, they put the coffin down and formed
a small circle around the altar, chanting some weird, yet vaguely familiar
words.

The leader of the cultists, whose golden details on his purple cloak
differentiated him from the others, walked up to the coffin and opened it.

Inside of it was a tied up, depowered, and very much scared Bobby Drake!

"What do you guys want from me...?" He said with a voice full of
terror. "You have me as a hostage for days...you don't talk to me...you
feed me, take care of me, but WHY?"

"Silence, Chosen One.", the Cult Leader said, revealing his face. It was
Ambrosius Quinn, the very owner of the land they were in. Not that Bobby
could have any idea who that was, but at least now we know why that altar
and all these cultists are on his land and he, as an owner, has no problem
with that.

"Chosen? For what?" asked Bobby, confused. If he was, like, the Messiah of
that little cult, then he wouldn't have much to worry about, would he?

"Tonight, our investment in you pays off", said Ambrosius. "We paid that
blue-skinned lady with a lot of cash to get you, although she seemed
equally anxious to get rid of you for some reason. We even paid extra for
the injections that leave you with no powers for enough time to make this
sacrifice come to pass..."


"SACRIFICE?!?! Are you people crazy? LET ME GO!" Bobby started kicking and
screaming, but two cloaked cultists grabbed him from his arms and knees and
carried him out of the cofin and right on the altar.

Then the Cult Leader spoke again. "We told you nothing of your fate all
these days, Chosen One, for fear that you would harm yourself to avoid
this. But your supple flesh and warm blood are meant to appease our Goddess
Barbra, and your youth will be channeled over to her Earthly Avatar and
keep her eternally young and beautiful, like she was when she first filmed
"Funny Girl".

Bobby, although he was in to position to, couldn't help but raise an
eyebrow. "You guys worship a goddess named Barbra?" Then he combined all
the earlier hints and filled in the blanks and realised what was going
on...

"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE GOING TO SACRIFICE ME TO--"

"The Supreme Goddess Barbra Streisand, yes, Chosen One. We sacrifice a
young stud like you every year so that she remains eternally young."
Ambrosius said with a serene, satisfied smile.

"It's not your sacrifices that keep her young, you idiot, it's Botox!!!!!!"
Bobby said in exasperation. Those people were even nuttier than your
everyday, friendly-neighborhood cultist!

"How DARE YOU speak like that? Her Divinity does not bother with those
vain, mortal little half measures! The Barbra Streisand most mortals know
is only a mortal, avatar body that is temporarily inhabited by Her
Divinity, until she decides to go back to The Heavens and sing her hymns to
Beauty and Love from up there, ruling us with her Voice! But until then,
her faithful worshippers have to make sure her body doesn't wither and die
until she choses to." said Ambrosius, before he opened up a little chest
and took out a huge sacrificing dagger.

"Oh no no nononono, please don't, you don't have to do that this way,
there's botox and awesome plastic surgeons nowadays, why can't we talk---"

"SILENCE! It is time. My brethren, begin the incantations for the
sacrifice. We have to be swift, Yentl is on TV in 25 minutes..." said
Ambrosius, as he slowly raised his dagger, ready to strike at poor,
helpless Bobby.

Suddenly, an unexpected gust of wind swept over the unsuspecting cultists,
extinguishing their awfully cliched and terribly impractical torches.

Everything was veiled under the dark embrace of the moonless night.

"What the hell happened?" Ambrosius said, unable to locate Bobby's heart so
that he could sacrifice him aproppriately. "Get those lighters out, my
brethren, and light the torches again. We must make quick work of this, for
time is of great importance here!"

But then a sweet yet strangely recognisable music started playing, which
provoked them from doing what their leader told them to, especially when a
heavenly voice started murmuring a melody...

"Mmmm mmmmmmm mmmmm mmmmmmm, mmmmm mmm mmmmmmm...."

The crazy cult members gasped in awe as a mysterious spotlight fell right
next to a tree, revealing a very special guest star, singing just for her
most religiously faithful fans...Barbra Streisand herself!!!

BABS:
"It's... raining, it's.... pouring
my love-life is boring me to tears,
after all theeeeese yeaaaaars..."

The cultists, including Ambrosius, let their weapons and unlit torches fall
to the ground and kneeled before Their Goddess, but then a SECOND spotlight
revealed another guest starring diva, a friend of Their Goddess, and it was
none other than Donna Summers herself, joining Babs into the song!

DONNA:
"...No sunshine, no moonlight,
no stardust, no sign of romance
we don't stand a chanceeee...."

BABS:
"...I've always dreamed I 'd find the perfect lover
but he turned out to be like every other maaaan,
Our looooooove, our loooooove..."

The evil cultists were totally taken aback from the sudden visit of The
Streisand and her fellow goddess, so they remained kneeled, chanting and
murmuring the lyrics while lighting their lighters and holding them high in
the air as the song came to a crescendo...

...which left them absolutely distracted and therefore oblivious and
vulerable to our imminent attack!

DONNA: "Raining...pouring....
there's nothing left for us here...
and we won't waste....ANOTHER...TEAR!"

The music got faster, acquiring a funky beat, the divas started rocking,
and the X-Men who were there to rescue Bobby stealthily entered the fray!

Between two flashing lights, Ambrosius managed to see, only for a fraction
of a second, a very handsome man in a g-string appearing before the altar
and untying their precious sacrificial hunk! He was torn between ogling the
mysterious man's butt cheeks and resuming to watching the singing duel
between The Divas.

DONNA:
"If you've had enough,
don't put up with his stuff,
don't you do it!"

Before Ambrosius could alert his cult to the diabolical ruse that was
endangering them, I managed to get behind him and smack the back of his
head with my hand, which had assumed the form of a non lethal, yet very
cool looking frying pan! He was out cold in a second.

BABS:
"If you've had your fill,
get the check, pay the bill,
you can do it!"

Two of the less easy to impress cult goons closer to the altar started to
get up and draw their hidden handguns out, but Monique and Hellion, who
still stood hidden within the trees, telekinetically snatched the guns and
used them to club the goons into unconsiousness!

DONNA: "Tell him to just get out!"

BABS: "Nooooooooooothing left to talk about!"

Now all the cultists were alerted to our attack and were beggining to
retaliate, but it was too late for them... having Barbra Streisand and
Donna Summers right there, providing a fabulous show for them was too much
of a distraction and had given us the element of surprise. This was gonna
be the easiest and less bloody battle ever!

DONNA: "Pack his raincoat, show him out!"

BOTH: "Just look him in the eyes and simply shouououououout:"

Wolverine, Cyclops, Storm (who earlier used her powers to put all the
torches out), Nightcrawler, Rogue and Colossus simoultaneously entered the
fray, joining me in the fight, while Gerry was retreating with Bobby on his
sculpted shoulders and Hellion with Monique shielded him telekinetically
from anyone who could possibly shoot him at the back.

BABS + DONNA:
"Enough is enough is enough!
I can't go on, I can't go on, no more nooooooo!"

I turned both my hands into katanas and jumped between two cultist goons,
slashing their weapons into useless metallic pieces of junk, while Colossus
punched them into oblivion.

BABS+DONNA:
"Enough is enough is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now!"

Nightcrawler was teleporting around, following the rythm of the beat with
gusto, kicking enemies on the face with some unexpectedly tasteful dancing
moves!

BABS:
"I've always dreamed to find the peeeeerfect lover,
but he turns out to be like every other man"

Rogue, on the other hand, was touching the fallen enemies with her bare
hands just enough to make sure they'd stay down until they were all taken
care of and put in a prison somewhere.

BABS+DONNA:
"Our looooove (I had no choice from the start)
our looooove (I've gotta listen to my heart)
our loooooove (tearing us apart)..."

Cyclops calmly walked forward, releasing very accurate and collected force
blasts, hitting people on the shoulder or the legs, incapacitating them.
Ambrosius woke up, realised what was going on and grabbed the sacrificial
dagger, throwing it straight at Mr.Summers back!

Thankfully, Logan jumped behind Cyclops and took the blow that was meant
for him.

BABS+DONNA:
"Enough, is enough, is enough!
I can't go on, I can't go on no more noooo!"

"Logan!" Cyclops yelled as he watched his lover going down, while Storm
summoned a small thunder especially to take the cult leader out.

"Don't worry, kid, you know my healing factor allows me to take the stabs
meant for you anytime." Logan winked as he took the dagger out of his gut.
"Now how about thanking me with a kiss?"

BABS+DONNA:
"Enough, is enough, is enough!
I want him out, I want him out that door NOW!"

Donna and Barbra kept singing with gusto, but now the remaining cult
members had figured out that the "divas" were in reality enemies and chose
to attack them instead of staying there to be taken out by this very
well-coordinated team of mutants. The fools, they thought that Babs and
Donna were easier to deal with!

DONNA:
"Goodbye mister, goodbye,
goodbye mister, goodbye sugar"

Without missing one note of her singing, "Donna" dodged the bullets coming
for her and took off her stiletto heels. She threw them with incredible
force at two of the cultists barging for her, stabbing their thighs with
them! As the third and last cultist charged at her, she introduced his face
to her foot.

BABS+DONNA:
"No more tears...
no more tears...
no more tears...
I've had it, you've had it, he's had it, we've had it
enough is enough is enough is enough..."

The goons heading for Babs had no easier task ahead of them. They suddenly
found their target jumping right between them with an impossible for a
woman her age ninja jump, then they only had the time to see her taking her
feather boa off before she wrapped it around their necks and brought their
heads to bump against each other, just as she was finishing her song!

BABS:
"...is enough, is ENOUGH!!!"
she ended her song, putting one of her feet on the heap of unconscious
cultists and flashed a triumphant smile, giving us JAZZ HANDS! 

The victorious X-Men approached Barbra, as Jubilee jumped from the tree she
was sitting on, giving the spotlights all that time to our fake
celebrities.

"I cannot believe they took you for the real Barbra Streisand" 'Donna' said
bitchily as she approached us, turning into a certain blue-skinned,
traitorous redhead. "Your adam's apple was clearly showing throughout our
whole performance."

"Shut it, Mystique" Lola said with obvious annoyance. "Cyclops, oh fearless
leader, please switch that electrifying collar on now that we don't need
that bitch's assistance anymore!" she requested.

"Please calm down, Glitter Princess." said Cyke, trying to stiffle a
smile. "We only put that thing on her to make sure she'd help us out in
this rescue mission without pulling any backstabbing tricks on us."

"This was probably our most flawlessly executed mission on the history of
the X-Men!" Wolverine announced, clapping his hands in approval. "The duet
performance you two did as a distraction wasa genius idea."

"I don't know...I woudn't call it "flawless", that's for sure" said Lola
with minor humbleness. "I know there was a note or two I could have done
better with during my performance."

"But your mimicry of Streisand's voice was on the spot! You did it better
than Mystique, and we all kno Mystique can copy the exact voice of the
person she chooses to imitate" Kurt said, excited. We all wondered how he
had such good knowledge of all that is Barbra. Hmmm...

"What *I* would love to know is HOW exactly Mystique had anything to do
with a murderous cult of insane Barbra Streisand followers... does the real
Barbra know anything about this? Hell, is SHE really who they say she is?"
Lola asked, her brows arching with curiosity.

Frank, our all-knowing deus ex machina, walked out of the woods to
enlighten her. "She knows nothing. I checked. Those people are right out of
their minds, and Barbra Streisand has no idea of the hardcoreness of those
specific fans of hers. I wonder what Cher fans would do to keep her idol
eternally young , though!"

I just stood there throughout that whole talk, not really bothering to
comment on the bizzareness of the whole mission. I was happy that Bobby was
rescued with practically no sweat, but I what bothered me right now was
Bobby's state of health. He seemed kinda out of it when I saw him, plus
seeing him on that altar, all set to be stabbed to death, wasn't very good
for my emotional state.

Gerry suddenly appeared next to me out of nowhere with a smile. He really
could get you real jumpy with those powers of his! "Bobby is fully
conscious now. His powers won't function for a few hours or days, but he's
perfectly fine." he announced.

I looked to my side and saw Bobby emerging out of the shadows of the trees,
running towards me.

"Bobby! I smiled as I saw him extending his arms to me.

Then he passed right by me and landed on Rogue's embrace. "I thought I'd
never see you again! He said, in the verge of tears." The onslaught of
emotions took the best of them and Rogue ended up making out with Bobby
passionately. After a couple of seconds Rogue's power kicked in again and
Bobby broke the kiss.

"Shit. Now I'm all sleepy again..." he stated before slumping into
unconsciousness again.

I don't know if I was emotionally crushed, dissapointed, angry at being
proven wrong or just surprised that Mystique told the truth for once, but I
looked right at Mystique at that time and I saw her looking back at me with
a look that was a even mixture of compassion and snarkiness.

"I told you so", she whispered before walking away. "You never were an item
with the real Iceman."

I looked at Rogue again, as she embraced her returned lover and placed him
gently on the ground. Then I tried to see things from her perspective, and
I realised that she was as deceived as I was, and maybe Mystique's
infiltration costed her more than it costed me.

I mean, Mystique took her boyfriend's place, broke up with her and started
dating a gay man, making her heart break even more as the blue vixen's plan
progressed.

So what if my own "boyfriend" turned out something entirely different than
I hoped for? It can happen to anyone, and even if tha boyfriend wasn't a
mutant shape-shifter in dusguise, it could have been just another hopeful
romance that turned into a dissapointment.

Mystique might have costed me a few weeks' relationship, but she costed
Rogue a reltionship that was lasting against all odds for at least a
year. So, I concluded that Rogue deserved to have the real Bobby, and I
should come to terms with it and move on.

Frank, Lola, Monique and Gerry walked up to me and they formed a very
cheesy group hug around me.

"I know what you're thinking, buddy, and let me tell you how proud I am of
you. You have just grown into a more mature person." Frank conforted me.

"But in case you're still feeling the blues tonight, we can sleepover
tonight and bring our ice-cream stash as well!" Monique said, offering a
consolation night for me.

"You can borrow Fluffy for a week, so that you can have something to cuddle
with at night!" offered Gerry.

"And if none of these things console you, Bobby can always come out as gay
in the near future! May I remind you how Rogue revealed that she oftenly
used her strap-on on him?" Lola wrapped up the cheer-up session!

"Thanks, you guys, I don't deserve friends like you..." I teared up, not at
the bitterness over losing Bobby, but at the gung-ho attitude of my buddies
to provide me with moral support.

Cyclops walked up to us to congratulate us.  "That was a great first
mission for you children! I know I was right to make you a honorary X-Men
squad!"

"Thanks, Cyclops, sir!" we said in unison, flashing our grins.

"Now let's go back home. There are a lot of things to deal with. The new
Headistress should arrive today, plus Dr.McCoy should be completing his
tests on your friend Vivian as we speak."

****************************************************************************

"You do realise your timing couldn't be less convenient to me." Dead Girl
grumbled with the best undead-like tone she could muster.

"I'm very sorry, Vivian, I know you really wanted to go to that rescue
mission with the rest of your team, but we cannot risk sending you out
there again before we know the full scope of your mutant abilities. It just
wouldn't be safe for you." Hank McCoy, a.k.a. the Beast, tried to confort
her, as he checked for a last time her blood test results on his lab
computer.

"Safe...? SAFE?" she said, outraged. Grabbing her head from the sides with
both hands, she applied a monstrous force and decapitated herself. She then
threw her own head at Beast's lap, as if it was a basketball.

Her mutilated head resumed talking to him. "I can be killed a thousand
times and get better within a minute. Is there anything on this planet that
can be declared "dangerous" or "unsafe" to me?"

A little freaked by her casual display of powers, Beast put her Dead Girl's
head back on her shoulders. "What I meant to say, is we need to know your
exact nature of powers. Is it just a mutant power or is it of mystical
nature as well? Is there a finite number of "deaths" you can suffer before
you drop dead for good? If someone chopped you in a million little pieces
and mailed them in a million different corners of the world, would they
await dormant until they somehow were brought together again or would they
just wither and die?"

Dead Girl casually ran her fingers through her hair. "Whatever, Doc. I'm
just not comfortable with people experimenting on me. It's what killed me
dead the very first time. But, fine! You wanna keep me in this mansion
until your tests are completed? You got yourself a deal. Just make it
quick, 'cause I wanna get out there and kick some ass!"

She walked out, where she met the rest of the gang, who had just returned
from the mission.

"Yo, Vivian!" I called out to her. "What's the news from the lab?"

"So far? The news are that I am some sort of mutant undead zombie girl,
with the ability to mystically regenerate a hundred times faster and more
extreme than Wolverine." she responded.

"Well, that is not news at all." Frank said.

"Yeah, we figured that out the second you re-assembled yourself on that
slab and ripped Sinister's heart out." Lola mentioned with a residue of
grossness in her voice.

"Whatever, man. What about you, Dave? You got your boy back?" she asked.

"Kinda. We did rescue him on time, but he's not my boy anymore." I said
"Apparently, he never was mine to begin with".

"I'm so sorry, man. Ben n' Jerry's, tonight, your room, okay?" she offered.

"That's what we had in mind anyway" Monique mentioned. "Feel free to join
us, Vivian!"

"Yeah, I'll be there too anyway" Gerry announced. "But who's Ben?"

Trying not to laugh at our friend's silly question,we just grabbed Gerry
and made him follow us into the kitchen.

"Let me explain to you over dinner, Gerry darling."


*****************************************************************************


That night, the whole gang did sleepover at my room in order to cheer me up
a little. However, with all the things that happened these last days and
the things that we were expecting to happen, my no-relationship with Bobby
was really one of the last things in my mind.

"I really hope that new Headmistress coming here tommorow will be as
open-minded as Xavier was...is. I don't need no bitch telling me to attend
the classes dressed as a guy instead of a girl." Lola expressed her
concerns.

"Hey, when are we going to see you in non-drag clothing, anyway?" I teased.

"Come over in February, 32th and you'll see me dressed in some torn jeans
and a wife-beater" she teased back.

"I know for a fact that our new headmistress, Emma Frost, is really
bitchy. And that she also dresses in the classiest way a prostitute would
dress." Frank exclaimed.

"Is she hot? I'm gay for slutty, strict authority figures!" Vivian asked
with a certain glee in her eyes.

"You bet she is!" Frank raised his eyebrows with innuendo, only to get
lightly punched on the shoulder by an irritated Monique.

"Is she going to be mean?" Gerry worried. "I hope she won't feel that our
honorary X-Men status should be recalled." he added.

"Relax, guys" I said with a smile. "I promise you, Emma Frost won't bring
any trouble to this team. If anything else, she might even be favourable to
us in every chance she gets!"

"Why would that be?" Vivian enquired.

"Let's just say I have met her previously and she likes me a lot..I won't
say anything else, guys, you'll see for yourselves tommorow!" I said,
cryptically.

"That's weird." Frank raised an eyebrow. "my newly-boosted powers should
know that already, but I'm not picking up anything. The power boost just
comes and goes. Sometimes I even end up knowing less than before the day
I...I got my power-up."

"Maybe we should get Beast to check you up on it, see if there's anything
wrong." proposed Monique.

"Yeah, maybe I should get tested again." he agreed.

"I mean, getting all that sperm down your throat might macigally enhance
your power, but that doesn't mean there can't be any complications!"
Monique giggled.

Frank blushed intensely. "Monique...please! I don't want to recall every
detail of that day like that!"

"But *I* do. And it's not because it bothers me, like it might bother
you... I just find it extremely hot that my boyfriend has sucked every dick
in this building!" she smiled mischieviously, making Frank blush even more
with her vulgar description of his heroic deed.

I shot an evil look at Gerry, letting him know that we should take the joke
further and watch the results it would have on Monique. From the glimmer in
his eye I knew that he knew what I wanted him to do.

"And he did it really good, I must say!" Gerry happily exclaimed. He
deep-throated me like a pro!"

Geez. My dick jumped a little in my pants as I brought that mental image in
my mind. I had to push the game further, too, though;

"Gerry's right! I had my share of boyfriends in the past (incuding
Mystique, who must be quite experienced in the shack), but my buddy Frank
gave me the best blowjob I ever had, period! Which is quite impressive for
a straight guy." I said in a pretentious casual manner.

We saw Frank looking at us with a face flushing with shame and anger, then
we saw Monique looking at him with a face flushing with something entirely
else.

"Come here, you little cocksucker!" she licked her lips, then used her
telekinesis to grab Frank, rip his clothes, open the door and fly him to
his own room, right next to mine!

"G'night, team!" she winked, as she unbuttoned her blouse, following Frank
to the next room.

The second the door closed, I high-fived Gerry. "YAY buddy! We got him laid
again!"

"Was Monique always a gay man trapped in a woman's body?" Vivian asked
casually as she finished her Ben N' Jerry's.

"Oh yes."I shook my head."But I guess she didn't know about it until she
found out her new boyfriend gave all these heroic blowjobs."

"He was wrong, though." said Lola. "He didn't suck ME off, so he sucked all
cocks in this mansion save for one."

"Well if Monique loves boys and boys who make love to other boys, I guess
that leaves no room for some girl-lovin', huh?" Vivian
assumed. "Pity. She's hot."

"Vivian! I said in faux shock. "You think Monique's sexy?"

"Well, duh!"

"Don't worry, honey." Lola comforted her. "The new semester starts in a few
days, so many new students are expected to join. Maybe there will be a nice
goth/emo/necrophiliac lesbian girl made just for you among them."

"I fucking hope so!" was Dead Girl's response. "I either need to get laid
or get out there and kick some ass real bad right now. And since the
Institute won't allow me to go out on missions for a while, I guess I
should find myself a girl...!"

"You're not the only one who should get laid right now, sweetie. Dave had
better find some new boy to keep his mind busy too."

"Thanks, Lola, but no thanks." I said. "I just lost a boyfriend in a way
fucked-up enough to make me swear off all men forever and ever...!"

"She's right, tho." Gerry put a hand on my shoulder. "Sometimes, the only
way to forget a romance is to start a brand new one..!"

"I concur." Vivian said with affirmation. "Wasn't there anyone else you
might have liked, before you got hooked up with fake Bobby?"

I thought really hard about it. WAS there anybody else? I remember liking
Bobby when he was still with Rogue, then he came up to my room one night
and had sex with me but I was so sleepy that I thought it was a dream, and
afterwards I spent only one or two days searching for my Phantom Lover
before hooking up with Bobby/Mystique...

...waitaminute!

The revelation I just had was so intense that I had to storm off the room
with no warning or explanation to any of my friends.

Lola, Gerry and Vivian gawked at the door I left open in my hurry for a few
seconds.

"Was it something I said?" Vivian looked at the other two.

"Naaah! Now who's up for a little strip poker?" Lola proposed
indifferently.

"Oh, great! I'm really curious to see what's under all that glitter and
make-up..." responded Vivian.


*******************************************************************************

I approached the cell door and put my finger in the keyhole. I quickly made
it take 500 different key forms before it got the exact right one to unlock
the door, then slid in and locked the door behind me again.

I looked around the dark cell and saw nobody.

"Mystique!" I whispered. "I know this will sound like a terrible cliche,
but...reveal yourself!"

No answer.

I looked up to the ceiling and saw a small bump extending from it a
fraction of the second before Mystique, having assumed the color of the
ceiling to blend with it, jumped on top of me intending to kick my head in.

I dodged her attack and pushed her away from me, then turned both my arms
in two very sharp axes which could slice in pieces a single thread of
velvet falling gently on their sharp edges.

"Stay away from me. You have no weapon and I have two." I stated
matter-of-factly.

"I can always stab you with your own axes, honeybuns." her toothy smile
glistened in the dark.

"I just want to ask you something. You'll gain nothing from killing me, I
already locked the door behind me so you can't escape."

"I can't use you as hostage to get out of here either. I already tried to
play the "nice girl" by helping you out in your rescue mission and what did
I get? They just shoved me back in this fucking cage." she smiled
viciously.

"Well there wouldn't be a need of the rescue mission if you hadn't put
Bobby in a predicament that made him need to be rescued, you fucking stupid
bitch." I snarled right back.

"Don't you call me "stupid"!" she yelled and lunged at me.

She found herself kicked hard in the stomach. The fact that I had my foot
take the form of a big-ass hammer made it all the worse for her.

"You think YOU'RE the killing machine, bitch?" I yelled. "When I said I can
turn my limbs into weapons, I meant ALL of them, arms and legs." I placed
my deadly axe right on her neck, threatening to push further if she pulled
any more tricks. "End of the line...stupid."

She sighed in exasperation, pretending that she wasn't really in any
danger. "Okay, Darrington...I didn't really intend to harm you, anyway. I
just wanted to rough-house you a little, 'cause I have a soft spot for
you. You were the sweetest piece of ass I ever had, and I had a lot,
believe me. Too bad I had to compromise my identity before I got you to
give up that sweet ass to me. I love turning into a man and having twinks
like you bottom for me."

I gasped. "You mean...you never fucked me?"

"Believe me, If I had fucked you, I would remember." she smiled
seductively.

"It's what I intended to ask, actually. The day before you and me...became
a couple, someone snuck into my room and fucked me. I really liked it, but
I thought it was a dream and I didnt recall who did it. After hooking up
with you-as-Bobby, I assumed it had been you."

"Well, I'm sad to admit it, but it wasn't me" she smiled. "When you
mentioned it, I let you think it was me to make things easier. I couldn't
have you looking for some guy that fucked you while being an item with me,
it would complicate my own mission."

"Thanks for the info" I exasperated, keeping my axe-hand an inch away from
her neck while I extended my other hand till the keyhole and unlocking it
the same way as before. I ran to the door, then shot a last look at her
before closing the door behind me.

She was still lying there on the floor, but had now taken the form of Bobby
again, naked with a huge hardon.

"We can still make up for not topping you before, you know..." fake!Bobby
winked at me and grabbed his cock, leaking with precum already.

I actually caught myself thinking about it for a second, then shot her a
disgusted look.

"Mystique, you filthy cunt...why don't you morph into a hermaphrodite and
GO FUCK YOUSELF?!?!" I yelled before slamming the door and locking it
twice.

As I walked down the corridor to get out of the basement cells, I had to
pass by Zazelle's holding cell. She was hanging on her door and smiled at
me.

"That Mystique... she can be such a mind-fuck sometimes, can't she?" she
whispered.

"I don't have time for your or her games, Zazelle. Rot in your cell for all
I care." I stood there for a minute and peeked at her tv screen. "What, no
more Barney marathons?" I teased.

"Nah, we went over to more hardcore territories" she exasperated. "This
time, it's all eleven seasons of "7th Heaven", which is even worse than
Barney. I can't tell if this show is supposed to teach me how to be a nice
and kind christian who keeps being the good samaritan for those around me
or a holier-than-thou asshole who keeps meddling in other people's
business.

"Well, good luck with that" I scoffed, then started walking away.

"It was me, you know" Zazelle said, making me stop in my tracks.

"What did you say?" I came back, letting her know that she had my
attention.

"It was me, that night...when you got fucked up the ass for the first
time." she smiled.

"No way" I said in denial.

"Yes way. It was me." she nodded.

"Fuck YOU and you mindgames! You're saying that you snuck into my room and
sodomised my with your strap-on while I was asleep? Then how come I found
real, sweet-tasting cum into my own ass the morning after? You lying
whore!" I shot her an angry look.

"That's not what I meant you blonde cliche (although it's damn hot to hear
that you tasted the cum right outta your butt, you gay slut!). I meant that
I MIGHT have used my powers on someone, who then got horny enough to lose
control and fuck you without you knowing what was really going
on... There's a chance I used my power on you, too, but I can't recall...I
was a little drunk at the time." she raised an eyebrow apologetically.

I believed her. Those days, she was running around the mansion and forcing
everyone to have hot gay sex, who was I to avoid her effect?

"Who was it?" I asked. "Who did you force to come fuck me?"

"I didn't force him, per se... I just used my power on him. He must have
had some hidden feelings for you, because the second I put my mojo on him
he walked by all those hunky, sleeping male specimens just to sneak in your
room and take your anal virginity. I put the video on X-tube and it was a
wild hit! It's a pity you don't bottom more often." she smiled viciously.

"You did WHAT? Who was it, Zazelle? And what exactly is the video's name?"
I asked, furious with her.

"I won't tell you. Isn't it sweet? I get to rot in this cell watching
hideously preachy shows, you get to suffer knowing that you're missing on a
great romance! Ah, c'e la vie!" she rolled her eyes and sat on her comfy
chair, resuming her viewing of "7th Heaven".

"Don't make me come in there!" I threatened.

"You come in here, I'll arm-lock you and force you into joining me in this
crappy-show-marathon!" she said, giving me the finger.

I stormed out of the place furiously. I had to find a sure-fire way to make
her tell me the truth. IF she was telling the truth at all... then I had to
resume searching for my Phantom Lover!

I was long gone when Mystique came up to her cell door. "Hey, old boss, now
I remember why I liked working with you."

"Why is that?" Zazelle asked from her comfy chair.

"You're still a newbie in villainy, but you managed to mind-fuck with the
boy better than I did and you didn't even use our power to achieve that!"
the blue vixen said, clapping her hands in approval...

"Thanks, Raven..." Zazelle said, before whispering to herself "...and to
think that I told him the pure truth..."


******************************************************************************


I returned to my room and found the remaining gang playing cards.

It must have been strip poker, because Vivian and Gerry were completely
naked and hiding their most scandalous bits with pillows, while their
cloths were lying next to Lola, well, except for Gerry's g-string which
Lola had put on her hair.

"Let me guess" I said, "Lola tricked you guys into playing strip poker with
her."

"We wanted to see what's underneath her clothing. Now she gets to see my
ass." blushed Gerry.

"Yeah, like we've never seen THAT before...!" Vivian rolled her eyes.


**************************************************************************

"I am tired of waiting" Vivian said, as we stood by the front door, the
same way half the students were trying to do at the time... there was quite
a commotion at the institute's gates, as well.

"Where is she? Where is she? Is she here yet?" Gerry asked impatiently.

"Relax, dummy!" I laughed. "She's just the substitute Headmistress, she's
not some evil dominatrix who came here to whip your ass!" I concluded.

Emma Frost, our new Headmistress, made me look like an idiot when she came
through the door with the snobbiest attitude possible and sporting a
fabulous, yet incredibly slutty white leather ensemble which didn't leave
much to the imagination... The other students were swarming around her,
trying to get a good look at her, help her carry her bags and generally get
info AND suck up to her to make their future easier.

"...you were saying?" Vivian asked ironically.

"We are doomed! Look at her! She was born to make our life a living hell
and get off on it!" Gerry started panicking. What the fuck did he have for
breakfast, anyway?


"I...said...RELAX!" I growled. "I told you guys we'll have no trouble with
her. She's the real deal. Trust me on this, okay?"

"David?" I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and saw Emma Frost
looking at me with a look that was anything but snobbish.

"What's my favourite nephew doing in this place? Come to Auntie Emma!" she
said, opening her arms and embracing me with warmth.

"Hey Auntie Emma." I said with a casual yet warm voice.

"I didn't know you were attending this School! I swear, your mother needs
to call sometime and catch up with me on things." she said, as she kissed
both my cheeks. I could feel that the rest of the gang were watching us in
a total "What The Fuck?" manner.

"It's not her fault Grandpa denounced her and you don't bother to leave
Britain that often." I explained.

"I did this time. Listen, I really need to go get my things inside and get
comfy, but we'll catch up later, yes? Oh, this is so exciting! I thought I
wasn't going to like it here and the children all looked like brats, but
now I know I'll make a good Headmistress here."

"Of course, Auntie Emma. Go take care of your stuff, I'll see you later." I
smiled.

"Oh, and one more thing." She said, before walking away. "Tell your friends
not to be afraid of me, their projected uncomfort is crowding my mind." she
motioned at her temple.

As she left, I turned around and gave a smug look at my friends, who were
looking with their mouths agape. "Well, I TOLD you not to worry, didn't I?"


******************************************************************************


The new semester has began, and many new faces could be seen around.

The very first day I met this really cute green-eyed brunette with a really
interesting power.

"Hey. I'm Jamie Madrox. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too", I shook hands with him. "I'm Dave Darrington, a.k.a
the Gay Guy Who Can Turn His Limbs Into Swords And Stuff. Or "Meleee",
which is the short version of that."

"Cool! Wanna see what *my* power is? Slap my hand." he proposed.

"No way dude, I don't feel like getting electrocuted or something, you
strike me as the "practical jokester" type." I exclaimed.

"Just do it. You won't get hurt, I promise." he smiled.

I slapped his hand and something extraordinary happened. Jamie was split in
two identical Jamies!

"Any slight blunt hit I might get creates a dupe out of me." he
explained. "And same goes for my dupes" he added, slapping his dupe, which
promptly created another dupe out of his initial dupe.

"What the fuck? Just because you created me, doesn't mean you have to use
me however you like! The Constitution mentions that all people are equals,
no matter of how they came to be!" the first dupe nagged.

Jamie turned to me. "See? Every single one of these dupes is practically an
exxagerated aspect of my personality. This one should symbolize the part of
me who was very inspired by the stuff learned by that dupe I sent to Law
School and then absorbed back with all that kowledge."

The second dupe was much more pissed though. "You want a piece of us? Huh,
PUNK?" he said, and attacked the original Jamie. The two of them tumbled on
the floor, and each punch produced more and more dupes.

After a minute, I could see forty Jamies fighting each other all over the
place.

"MADROX!" I head another voice. "Are you fighting with yourself again? Stop
that!"

A cold, yet very beautiful woman jumped beside me and stoically flipped her
hair. She had medium length black hair, some high tech-looking red shades
and two weird tear-like tattoos under each eye. "We have to stop him." she
told me. "My calculations prove that if he doesn't stop, in 2 minutes and
45 seconds his dupes will reach such a number that their fighting will
bring this building down."

"Who the hell are you, again?" I asked, not realising the danger Jamie was
to us at the moment.

"Oh. I'm Sage. Good to meet you." she introduced herself without even
smiling. Her face was stone-cold.

"What the hell is going on here? Is it my idea, or am I witnessing an
incestuous orgy between 50 identical siblings?" Lola jumped in.

"No, Lola!" I said. "They're all kinda the same guy, with a power to create
semi-crazy dupes outta himself. And now they're kinda fighting each other
and if they keep doing that, they'll keep multiplying until the mansion is
brought down!" I tried to summarise the situiation as best as I could.

"Oh. So it's more of a massive masturbation rather than an incestuous
orgy. I see." she answered, then stood there and thought about it.

"They're not even having sex, Lola! We gotta stop them! I'd smack them
around, but it would only make things worse!" I urged.

"Okay. This will need a special trick." Lola said tongue-in-cheek.

She did a major Xena-style flip above the fighting dupes and her hands
started glowing. Then she screamed "BUKKAKE GLITTER!" and her hands started
producing copious amounts of her glitter, only in an extra-dense glue-like
form, which she shot all over the room, hitting the dupes in the face, if
she was able to.

"Jeez!"

"That's gross" the dupes started yelling.

They all gradually calmed down and soon, we had a room full of Jamies,
trying to get the sticky shiny liquid out of their clothes. The original
Jamie was then able to absorb everybody and set things right.

"Now get to work, Madrox. My calculations say you'll only need two hours
and 24 minutes to clean the entire room from all of that junk." Sage
announced, threw him a broom and left.

"Who the hell is she, anyway?" asked Lola.

"Sage? Our new exchange teacher. Her power is that she's practically a
living computer." Madrox explained.

"Really? I wouldn't wanna be around her when she starts crashing and
presenting blue screens. LOL!" our beloved tranvestite punned.

"Yet, her math still suck anyway." He answered. "She said I'd need 144
minutes to get this chore done, yet I'm betting I'll need much less." he
added, as he tapped his foot on the floor five times. That action
reproduced five dupes holding as many brooms, who then obediently started
cleaning the place up. Madrox Prime put his hands behind his head and
yawned.

"You know, your power should be amazing when used at bed..." Lola raised an
eyebrow cheekily.

"I concur!" I said all too happily, imagining myself being serviced by ten
of Jamie's sexy dupes.

"I know that for a fact, baby." Jamie teased. "But unfortunately, I'm
straight. Don't lose hope tough, they say that every man has a little gay
in himself, so you might encounter a gay dupe of mine someday!" he winked,
before sitting on an armchair to rest and wait out his dupes, who did
everything for himself.


**************************************************************************

Wanting to find more about my so-called "Phantom Lover" after Zazelle's
disclosure, I decided to ask Lola if she might know anything. Yeah, yeah, I
know I should have asked Frank straight ahead, but I just couldn't walk up
to him and ask him if he knows who took my anal virginity all those nights
ago!

I walked into the informary searching for my dearest drag buddy, and found
her practising her singing skills... over Magneto's comatose body!!!

"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming..." she sang.

"What the hell, Lola?" I interrupted.

"Oh! You startled me!" she said, abruptly interrupting her song. She walked
up to her karaoke machine and turned it off. "What brings you here, Davey
darling? I'm sure you didn't suddenly decide to visit the sick and comatose
of this jolly mansion..."

"I wanted to find you, Lola. But since I'm here anyway, what's the deal
with you singing to Magneto?" I inquired.

"I'm not just singing to Magneto, you dummy!" she explained. "I wanted to
practise for the upcoming Karaoke Contest we talked about, and doing it in
my room was bothering the neighbors... I then tried to ask Storm if I could
practice in her private garden again, but she said that her flowers don't
like my or her singing anymore...they're more into haiku nowadays. Then I
thought about this section of the infirmary. Professor Xavier, plus Magneto
and those ex-Brotherhood baddies are sleeping indefinitely in here. The
doctors, including Beast, who's in charge of this sector, say it's good to
talk to the patients because most time they can hear us and might react to
what they hear, so I thought "why the hell not? These poor souls need
someone to pay attention to them and I wanna practice for the contest, so
why not sing to them?"

"That's actually not such a bad thought" I said.

"Yeah, I believe her horrible singing might wake up Xavier from his coma!
You go girl!" a snarky voice was heard behind us.

It was Surge, team leader of Storm's group of students! She's a rather
pretty Japanese girl with purplish-blue hair and some whacked up electrical
powers she couldn't control, so she has to wear some steampunk-looking
metallic gloves all day. All that package makes for a sometimes bitchy,
aggressive character.

"What the hell are you doing here, Noriko?" Lola asked her in a bitchy
tone.

"I was just visiting Professor X, but I guess you were so caught up in your
shrieking that you never noticed me." she responded. "I swear, I don't get
you guys."

"And why is that, pray tell?" I said with a raised eyebow.

"The new semester has just began. Our new Headmistress will soon announce
the new line-ups for the battle teams every teacher will be in charge of,
and a sort of Battle League will be formed, with many benefits for the
group of students that beats it. Every other student is practicing their
asses off in the Danger Room these days, trying to be in their best form
and get picked by someone important, like Wolverine or Storm...and you
guys, who used to be Cyclops team and rather powerful, I must admit, just
hang around and practice for a retarted gay karaoke contest?" she ranted,
barely taking small breaks to breathe.

"Well, what can I say, I guess we're the artsy types...!" scoffed Lola.

"Yeah!" I added. "Not to mention that after single-handedly saving the
world, we have become honorary X-Men, so I doubt we're even gonna feature
in your lame Kiddies League...!" I resulted, showing Noriko the full length
of my tongue.

"You guys are so immature AND stuck-up snots!" she said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now go pick your nose or something...oh, wait, you
can't even do THAT with those lame gloves!" said Lola, making Surge give us
the finger and then leave.

"What a betch" we said in unison.

"So, honey, what did you want me for?" Lola reminded me of the reason for
my visit.

"You remember that night you bedded Colossus?" I tried to bring her back to
the day I wanted to ask her about.

"Well, DUH! What, you wanna know how big he was?" she smiled sluttily.

"No... thanks." I rolled my eyes, trying to look annoyed and NOT freaked,
otherwise she'd realise I already knew how big Colossus was! LOL!

"Than what?" she said indifferently, looking to adjust some settings on her
karaoke machine.

"Well, I wanted to ask...if you noticed anything out of the ordinary that
night." I said. I wasn't sure I wanted Lola to know I got deflowered that
night.

"You mean except for the fact that a total hottie gladly offered to "rape"
me that night? Nope."

"Nobody else had a similar behavior? Never saw anyone suspiciously walking
around where my room is?" I bit my lip saying that last one thing.

"What is this leading up to?" Lola said with suspicion. "Davey darling, is
there something you wanna talk about...? ...You know you can tell Aunt Lola
anything."

"Nah, never mind. Thanks, anyway!" I said and left the room with haste,
arousing more suspicion from her side. What was I thinking? Lola had just
fucked with Piotr that day, she must have spent the rest of the night
reminiscing on her bed, basking in her afterglow!

Gah! Now she was on to me....

**************************************************************************

"Are you anxious about the singing contest?" I asked Gerry as we walked
down the hall, looking to go get some breakfast.

"A little, maybe. But the song we chose to sing together is a great one,
and we'll work well together!" he smiled.

"I bet we will, buddy!" I said, rubbing his shoulder. He gave me a cute
smile, which then to an expression of sheer terror, and all of a
sudden... Gerry went intangible AND invisible, and all that was left was
his discarder cloths on the floor. He must have seen something scary behind
me!

I turned around, ready for anything, and saw who was standing behind me.

It was a very large and tall, extremely sexy, green-skinned woman, wearing
a very expensive suit.

"Jennifer Walters!" I said, ogling her.

"You know me with my real name? That's rare.... most kids your age know me
by "She-Hulk"! she said with surprise.

"Hey! Not. A. Kid!" I said prissily. "I might have not turned 21 yet, but
I've had enough sexual misadventures to make you blush, lady!"

She-Hulk raised an eyebrow. "Maybe we should compare notes someday... THEN
we'll see who will be doing the blushing. Anyway, can you show me to Miss
Frost's office? There is a serious matter who needs to be adressed."

I turned all of my fingers into deadly kitchen knifes. "Have you come to
beat my aunt Emma up?" I snarled.

"Worse." she said matter-of-factly. "When I'm not a superhero, I'm the best
lawyer in superhuman cases, and I've come here representing my V.I.P.
client..." she added, stepping aside to reveal the very well-known diva who
stood behind her all that time...

...Donna Summers!

"Word is that your X-Men illegally used one of my copyrighted songs AND my
image a few days ago..." she told me with a cold voice, "...and I've come
here to sue your ass!!!"



TO BE CONTINUED!
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