Date: Tue, 23 Aug 2005 16:17:15 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jason Calme <jasoncalme@yahoo.com>
Subject: Snow Day Chapter 6

This story is about male/male relationships and contains
graphic descriptions of sex.

You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal
due to your age or residence.

This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional
characters and events with real people. However any real
person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a
part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about
the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual
person.

Copyright 2005 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property
of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or
posted on any website without the permission of the author.

Questions and commentary can be sent to:
"JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
My blog: http://jcalme.blogspot.com/


--------------

Snow Day - Chapter 6


For the second time I awoke tangled up in Howie's arms and
legs. His head was against my shoulder, and when I tilted my
head his hair brushed against my cheek. I rocked my head back
and forth a couple of times, feeling it softly brush against
me. Just the feel of it made me shiver. If I could, I'd stop
everything just to live in this moment forever.

I lay there and waited; constructing little stories in my
head of our future together. Going camping, walking on the
beach, buying a house together, growing old together.

Stories that I knew would never come true.

Howie made a noise, startled, and rolled away from me.

I turned my head and looked across and saw him staring at me.
He looked sleepy. Rather dreamy really, but I put that out of
my head. His expression was unreadable. I wondered how he was
going to react.

"Uh hi," he said, not quite catching my eye.

I stared at him, and he stared at me for a second and then
looked away, nervously chewing his bottom lip. God he was
cute.

I sighed inside. Well, I'd got him out on this ledge; I guess
it was my job to talk him down.

"Hey," I whispered. "How you doing?"

"Okay," he said, glancing at me and smiled nervously, still
not able to look at me directly.

"Sure?"

There was a pause. "Uh...Yeah."

There was a long silence. I thought maybe he'd say something,
but he didn't. He just lay there staring into space with
large blinking eyes and a blank expression.

"Um..." I began. "There's something I wanted to say."

"Okay," he said, his eyes finally coming to rest on mine.

I rolled on my side so that I was facing him, but I was
careful not to actually move any closer.

"You know I like you," I began.

Howie raised one eyebrow as though confused or surprised, but
then he couldn't help smiling. I reached out and shoved him
gently.

"Okay, I really like you," I corrected, and we both grinned.
"...And, well, I'm really glad that we..." and I paused
because I honestly didn't know quite how to talk about last
night, so I didn't.

"Um...so look," I pressed on. "I just wanted to say that it's
been great to spend time with you and get to...get to know
you and...I just wanted you to know that I understand..."

Howie frowned, but I continued.

"I don't...If you want to go, I'll understand. If you just
want to just be friends...I'd really like to still be
friends." I was beginning to worry that I wasn't making much
sense, but I kept going.

"Whatever you need to do, I understand..." I lay there beside
him, trying to think if there was anything more I wanted to
add. "I know this isn't something you were expecting or
wanted, and I'm not expecting anything more," I finally
rushed to my conclusion, and stopped, waiting to see his
reaction.

But Howie just lay there staring at me.

"Uh...I guess that's it..." I said, and looked into Howie's
eyes, and he nodded and gave me a small smile, and just lay
there, his head on the pillow.

And I lay there, searching for some reaction. But he just lay
there, staring back and saying nothing. And doing nothing.

He just lay there staring back at me.

After a minute or two of that, I guess I felt confused and
nervous, and I had this weird urge to laugh. I couldn't stop
myself. I didn't exactly start laughing, I just kind of broke
into a grin and he grinned back at me.

"Uh, this is...this is usually where you say something," I
finally said.

"Say something?"

"Yeah, like, oh, 'I really have to get going,' or 'Can't we
just be friends,' or 'fuck that, let's fuck!' Something like
that."

"Oh," he said, and still didn't say anything.

So I poked him.

"Hey!"

He slithered back against the wall. I went to poke him again.

"Okay, okay," he laughed, putting up his hands in
supplication.

I stopped my attack.

"So?" I asked.

Howie took a deep breath, and then answered very slowly.
"Uh...okay, well, that's...yeah fine. And I don't know."

I lay there staring back at him. "You don't know?"

"Yeah," he nodded slowly. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize. Just, what do you
mean 'don't know?'"

Howie lay there for a long moment, then he sighed. "I'm just,
it's like a jumble of things running through my head and I
can't put it all together, so I'm sorry but I don't know what
to tell you."

"But what are you thinking?" I persisted. He must be thinking
something. I needed some guidance here; was the reaction
basically positive or negative?

He frowned. "I'm...I'm thinking that I should leave. I'm
thinking about what people will think..."

"Okay...okay," I groaned, I guess I'd got my answer.

But Howie moved towards me.

"No wait!" he almost pleaded. "I'm also thinking about how
much I've enjoyed the last couple of days, how much fun it is
to be with you, and about how great it was last night..."

I felt happy again. All warm and happy. I smiled back at him
nervously.

"You had fun?" I asked. He was now almost on top of me. I had
rolled slightly onto my back as he had advanced toward me,
and now I was lying there and he had his arm over me,
propping himself up as he starred down into my eyes.

"You couldn't tell?" he asked.

I paused for a moment. "Well, there were some signs," I said,
and then I couldn't help myself; I giggled.

"I had a lot of fun," he whispered sexily, and a shiver ran
up my spine. I remembered him lying on top of me, our naked
bodies slick and slippery. The feel of his body as I ran my
hands down his back. His erection rubbing against mine and
into my pelvis. And most of all the tensing of his body, his
groan in my ear and the warm flood of liquid on my chest as
he came.

I felt myself redden a little and he smiled. "And we didn't
even..." and he grinned even larger.

"Yeah, well," I felt myself blush even further. "I don't just
put out the first time, you know."

"Hey!" he smirked. "And you think I do?"

I stared back at him seriously for a moment and then nodded.
"Yes," I said, "I do," and then I burst into laughter.

"Yeah, well...not always. Not as much as you'd think," he
said, and he almost looked wistful.

A flash of jealousy passed through me anyway.

"So uh..."

"I guess we should..." he interrupted

There was a knock at the door.

"What?" I yelled.

"Are you two decent?" my mother called through the door.

Well no, we were both naked. But I wasn't going to yell that
back at her.

"Just a minute!" I called, and I reached out and grabbed our
t-shirts off the floor, and threw one to Howie. We both
quickly pulled them on.

"Come in!"

My mother opened the door and leaned in. She looked at us
sitting in bed looking innocent, and she laughed. I don't
know what I looked like, but I looked at Howie and realized
that apart from the fact his hair looked like it'd just been
through a wringer, he was wearing my t-shirt inside out.

"Are you two getting up for breakfast?" she asked.

"Yes Mom," I said. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Howie
nod.

"I have to go out and show a house. Will you two be okay on
your own?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Okay, well don't get into too much trouble," she said, and
turned and walked out, pulling the door closed behind her.

I looked at Howie, who was now bright red.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Do you think..."

"What?" I asked.

"She thinks we..."

"Thinks we?'..." and then I realized what he was asking. "Oh!
Uh..." I shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. Probably."

"Are you gonna tell her?" he asked, looking panicked.

"No! Why would I?"

"I don't now," he still looked concerned. "But what if she
thinks we...?"

"It's okay Howie." I couldn't really understand what he was
getting worked up about. I mean we had done something. Did it
matter exactly how far we had gone?

"It is?" he said slowly.

"Yeah, well I'm sure I'll get some safe sex lectures and
stuff, but it's okay. At least I think it is..." and then I
thought about it. I guess I needed to talk to my Mom and find
out. But she'd been okay. She must have thought last night we
might do something. She'd have said something if she had
thought we shouldn't.

I tried to put the whole thing out of my head. I really
wanted to talk more about us. But Howie's disposition had
changed again.
Howie was now worrying about my Mom, and maybe he was wanting
to get away from the whole thing, but I could tell that he
was in no mood to talk any more. He looked fretful and antsy.

"Wanna shower and have breakfast?" I asked.

For a second Howie nodded as though enthusiastic, and then he
looked worried.

"Uh, do you, ummm..." he began.

"What?" I asked him.

"You mean together?" he whispered.

Inside my heart sighed. After the thrill of the night before,
reality seemed to be stripping everything away from me. I'd
been telling myself all along that Howie might get spooked,
but it didn't make it any easier. I didn't know what else to
do, so I did what I had to.

"Nah. Why don't you go first and then I'll shower after you."

"Sure?" Howie asked, but he looked relieved.

More heartache.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Okay," said Howie, and he was out of bed so fast you'd have
thought the house was on fire. He grabbed the sweatpants off
the floor and pulled them on, then gave me a nervous smile
before going off to the bathroom.

I lay back in the bed and sighed to myself. What was I
supposed to do now?



After showering we went down and had breakfast. It was
cereal, juice, and I had some toast. Howie was quiet and so
was I. It was that strange awkwardness that seems to happen
when a relationship unexpectedly advances further than one -
or both - of the participants expected. Or maybe wanted.

Not that we didn't have a good time getting there. The
problem was; what do we do now?

As introspective as Howie appeared in his songs, I didn't get
the impression that he was up for a big heart-to-heart right
now, and I wasn't sure I was either. I really worried that if
I pushed now Howie was going to abandon the whole thing.

Better to do some activity to take our minds off the whole
thing.

"Hey. Wanna go to Costco?" I asked him.

"What?" asked Howie, looking at me curiously.

"Costco? You know what Costco is? It's a big warehouse place,
kind of like B.J.'s."

"Yeah, I've heard of it," he said, still looking unsure.

"There's one near Rochester. We need a few things. It's fun.
Trust me."

"Uh. Okay."

If Howie was skeptical, he was at least good-natured about
it. It took a little over an hour to get there, but it was a
fun drive. We listened to music and started talking again.
Talking about nothing, but at least talking. It seemed like
the awkwardness was starting to disappear.

We got to Costco and parked, then I grabbed a cart and gave
it to Howie, even though he tried to beg off it.

"You get to be the roady on this trip." I told him

I flashed the membership card as we walked into the building,
Howie staring a little wide-eyed at the place.

"They don't spend much on decorations, do they?" he said
casually.

"Uh, no," I laughed. "But it's good, though you have to buy
lots of stuff."

"Huh?"

"A lot of the food is in huge quantities," I explained.

"Oh."

"We have a company account. Mainly get stuff for the office."

"Office?"

"The Real Estate office. You know, cartons of toilet paper,
paper towels and chocolate cookie mix."

"Chocolate cookie mix?"

I laughed. "Yeah. Old real estate trick. Have freshly cooked
cookies when you have an open house. Vanilla on the light
bulbs works too."

"Okay," Howie nodded. I don't think he really believed me.

"It's the smell. Makes people feel at home and comfortable.
Come on," I said. "Let's get some samples. Then we can get
pizza later. They have great pizza here."

I led Howie down to the end of the food isles where some
sample trolleys were set up. We had some chicken fingers,
juice, and ravioli. The old lady heating up the chicken
fingers rolled her eyes when we guiltily took seconds, but
she didn't chase us away.



"Not much of a selection," Howie said, looking at the CDs.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I don't buy much stuff here."

"Napster huh?"

"Eh, a bit," I nodded.

"Ripping off the poor musicians? How could you?!" he said,
pretending to sound upset.

"You're just pissed cause I never downloaded your stuff," I
said, and I nudged his back with my arm and he gave me a
sideways glance and then he leaned against me and we stood
there for a second or two just touching each other, and
suddenly I felt all hopeful again.

We separated and I walked about six feet away from him and
tried to appear as though I wasn't actually with him. It's
not that I think gays can't be affectionate in public; I
guess I'm just not a big PDA kind of person. I don't even
feel comfortable when breeders do it.



CUT TO:

Montage of us shopping in Costco. Hey, every romantic movie
(is that what I'm making here?) has a montage. Helps
establish a relationship and passing of time all in one go.
Pretty clever huh? I'm not sure exactly what might go into
this montage, so make up your own. Here's a few visual
images: Howie. Howie hanging on front of carriage as I push
him. Stealing samples from the old ladies at the sample
carts. Carrying large stacks of toilet paper. Trying on the
Hawaiian shirts...

CUT TO:



"So what do you think of Costco?" I asked him. We were
sitting eating pizza in the small food court.

Howie grinned. "It's okay."

"Not your kind of shopping?" I asked. Howie's fashion sense
seemed a little above the level of clothing at Costco.

"I hate shopping," he said.

"Uh huh." I raised my eyebrows.

"What?"

"Nothing," I smirked.

"What?"

"Someone that travels with as many clothes as you..." I
laughed.

He shrugged. "The more clothes, the less laundry you have to
do," and he grinned at me.

There was a long pause, and I looked around at the people
sitting next to us as I chewed on a piece of pizza.

"So I was thinking," Howie said.

"Yeah?"

A line like that just begs for you to say something like
'there's a first,' or 'do you do that often?' or something
smart-ass like that, but I bit back the urge. Somehow, the
way he said it made it sound serious and not just a casual
segue.

"Yeah. They said the car will be ready tomorrow."

"Oh yeah," I nodded. Reality suddenly re-entering and
threatening my happiness.

"I'll be going down to New York."

"Yeah."

He stared at me. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to
do.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come," he finally said.

"Uhh..." I needed time to digest this. God! Even I wasn't
expecting it!

"It's cool if you don't want to," he said quickly, looking
away.

"Oh uh...I'm just surprised. Well, wasn't expecting it."

"Okay."

"I'd love to go," I said. "Just, uh...you know, give me a bit
to digest it all."

"Yeah, sure."

And we didn't talk about it again until we got home. But
somehow the awkwardness seemed to have crept back into
things.



Mom was in her bedroom putting clothes into the dresser when
I found her.

"Hey," I said.

"Sweetheart," my Mom called back to me, smiling.

"Uh..." I began awkwardly, slowly stepping into the room.

My Mom stopped and turned to face me.

"Uh...I was...Howie asked me if I wanted to go to New York
with him."

"New York?"

"Yeah, that's where he's going when the car's fixed. He's
going to be there for three or four days I think," I felt
like I was trembling or something. I didn't know why I was so
nervous.

My Mom nodded. "So you'd go down with him? Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. If his car is fixed."

My Mom nodded, but didn't say anything more.

"Is that okay?" I asked finally. "I know I was going to help
you with that open house..."

"It'll be okay," my Mom said.

"So it's okay if I go?"

"Yes. Sure," my Mom nodded.

"Thanks Mom," I hugged her.

I had been expecting her to say something about the idea, but
she wasn't forthcoming. In some ways I was relieved. I didn't
know if I was up to analyzing this too much.

"You don't think it's a good idea?" I found myself saying.
Damn! Sometimes I just can't quite when I'm ahead.

My Mom looked at me thoughtfully.

"I can't tell you what to do. You're old enough to make your
own decisions."

Somehow the last sentence sounded like it was supposed to end
in 'mistakes' rather than decisions.

"Why don't you like him?" I almost whined.

"I like Howie. He's a nice boy."

"But?"

"And you're a nice boy, and I don't think either of you know
what you're doing. But you'll have to find out someway. Just
be careful."

Now I was puzzled. What was she trying to say?

"He's not going to hurt me," I objected.

"Not intentionally, no. But Sam, you have to know, he's not
as comfortable with...things as you are."

"What do you mean?"

But my Mom wasn't going to take the bait.

"You know what I mean, Sam."

I sighed inside. My Mom was just pointing out the blindingly
obvious to me, but I still hated it. It made me want to
defend the stupidity of the whole thing even more.

"He's just...he's just...well he's still adjusting."

My mother didn't look convinced. But she didn't say anything.
I think she knew it would only make me defend my position
even harder.

"What?" I persisted. Come on Mom, say something so I can tell
you how wrong you are.

"If that was all there was, and that's a big thing Sam, you
know that. But look, he's...he's on the road all the time. He
doesn't live near here. You're going to be starting college
in the fall. When are the two of you going to spend time
together? Get to know each other?"

"Mom!" What I really wanted to say was 'Stop being so
rational! Can't you see we're in love,' but it sounded so
trite and pointless.

"How's he going to have a chance to adjust?" my mother asked.

I stood there. Yeah, well there was that. Really, when I
thought about it at all, it was obvious to me that there were
so many obstacles to this going anywhere.

Damn. I didn't know what to say.

"So you don't want me to go?" I asked, trying to be grown up
about it but as I said it I had this feeling I was sounding
more like a petulant child.

"No. Go. You're going to have to find out for yourself."

"Thanks Mom," I said. Take it while I can.

I went down the hall thinking; 'yeah, this isn't going to
work, so it's just some fun.' But wait, if it's just fun,
what does that mean? I always thought I was a hopeless
romantic, not someone that would engage in casual sex. But if
I knew this had no future, then that's what it was. It was
just casual sex, right?

Okay, I've got to stop over-thinking this stuff.



I found Howie waiting in my bed room.

"What'd she say? She said no, didn't she?" he asked
nervously.

"No," I grinned, happy to see he had been so anxious. "She
said it's fine."

"Great!" Howie smiled and suddenly he hugged me and for the
moment my concerns were forgotten. I kissed him on the cheek.
It was the first time I'd kissed him since the day before. He
froze for a moment and then pulled back and stared at me.

"Uh..." I began to apologize.

"It's cool," he whispered, and then he leaned in and kissed
me on the lips quickly. I went to put my arms around him, but
before I had a chance to really enjoy it he pulled away and
stepped back, looking like he was ready to run out the room
or something.

"Mind if I play?" he asked, pointing at the guitar case in
the corner.

"Oh, sure," I said, the disappointment obvious in my voice,
but Howie ignored it.

Howie took the guitar out of the case and sat down on the end
of the bed and started playing. I stood there watching for a
moment, and then decided I might as well do something. I
grabbed my book off the desk and lay down on the bed. Howie
glanced over and smiled at me, but kept playing.

Actually, it was kind of relaxing lying there reading as
Howie played.



That night, dinner began awkwardly, and just seemed to get
stranger as it went on. I had this feeling that my Mom wanted
to say things to Howie, but she was too polite to do so. Or
she didn't want to embarrass me.

Howie seemed to be nervous too. Maybe he was picking up on
the vibe from my Mom. Maybe he was worried about what my Mom
thought about him and me, or that she would change her mind
or something.

And I just sat there feeling uncomfortable and not sure what
to say or do.

And then his phone rang.

It hadn't rung once since he'd gotten here; I think it had
been off most of the time, so it was almost a shock when this
unfamiliar noise broke the silence of the dinner.

In some ways I was almost relieved that we had the
interruption. Things had been all together too quiet and
tense.

Howie pulled the phone out of his pocket, glanced at it and
then excused himself and disappeared out into the hallway. My
Mom watched him go, and then she turned to me and looked as
though she was going to say something. Then she paused.

"How's the chicken?" she finally asked.

"It's good," I smiled.

When Howie finally came back he didn't look happy.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah," he nodded. "I'll tell you later."

And so we finished dinner and went and sat and watched TV.
All the time Howie was quiet, and I couldn't tell if it was
because my mother was there, he was having second or third
thoughts, or because of the phone call.

When we sat down on the couch to watch TV, Howie sat
purposefully at the other end. So much for a romantic evening
in front of the fire.


Finally my Mom excused herself, said good night, gave me a
kiss on the cheek, and went to bed. As she left I turned to
Howie, who was watching her go. He turned to look at me and
gave me a nervous smile.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Uh...yeah," he said, but I knew there was a 'but' there
somewhere.

"Okay," I said, waiting.

"Yeah, uh..." there was a long pause. "The thing is, I have
to go home first before going to New York."

"Yeah?" That actually sounded kind of interesting, as I have
never been to Maine.

"Yeah. Just take a day or so, but...it's nothing big, just a
couple of things I have to take care of."

"Okay," I shrugged. "I don't mind."

Howie looked relieved; he almost looked surprised. "Yeah,
well...uh you could still meet me..."

"Meet you?" I asked, confused. Meet him where?

"Yeah. In New York. You could catch the bus down."

I didn't really want to do the bus trip. That would be no
fun. I'd rather just go to Maine. I was thinking it couldn't
be that boring, and it would mean we'd get to spend more time
together.

"Why don't I just come with you? I don't mind," I said
brightly. I don't know if I was naive or blinded by love.

"Um...yeah, well...you'd be bored. Why don't you just take
the bus. I'll pay," he offered.

"Pay? No you don't have to..." finally it was starting to
dawn on me. He wasn't trying to give me an out from a boring
trip; he actually didn't want me to go. "But why can't I
come?" I asked.

"I don't think that would work," he said slowly.

"Why? You think they'll figure out I'm gay?"

"No! no!" His vociferous protest made me certain he did think
so.

"Yeah?" I said doubtfully.

"I don't know. Maybe. No. I just...I can't do it right now.
We've only just..." he paused.

"You know, I don't swish. Most people think I'm straight
unless I tell them. I'm not gonna tell anyone."

"I know. I know. It's just...I'm sorry, but I can't, okay?
I'm sorry," he looked miserable and I felt bad for even
pressuring him to take me.

"But why is it okay to go to New York then?" I really didn't
understand what he was thinking.

He looked confused. "No one knows me there!" he finally
blurted out.

"Okay," I said. I was disappointed.

"You're mad."

"No," I lied.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm just...oh, forget it."

"What? You're just what?" he asked.

"Disappointed. But forget about it. It's okay." Inside I'd
already started to adjust. In a way I wasn't even that
surprised. Somehow I had a feeling I wouldn't go on that trip
with Howie after all.

"I'm really sorry. I just..." and he just looked miserable
and I couldn't even be mad at him.

"Yeah it's okay," I said, letting him off the hook. What was
the point in forcing him to do something he clearly wasn't
able to do?

"Well, I'm tired," I announced, changing the subject.

"Oh, uh, okay," said Howie. "Do you want me to sleep in the
guest room?" he asked hesitantly.

I stared at Howie, but he wouldn't look into my eyes.

"Uh..." I didn't know what I was supposed to say.

"It's okay if you want me to," he said quietly.

The thing was, I didn't want him to.

"No," I finally said, standing up. "Come with me..." and I
held out my hand, and Howie stood up and tentatively reached
out, and I closed my hand around his and pulled him to me. As
I wrapped my other arm around him I whispered into his ear.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" and I pulled him
against me.

Howie looked into my eyes and smiled. Then he nodded, and I
just heard a soft sound that could have been 'yes.' I leaned
into him and put my lips on his and his mouth opened and I
felt his tongue pushing into my mouth and I knew what the
answer was.

-----------------
to be continued