Date: Sat, 14 Oct 2000 13:13:06 -0700 (PDT)
From: Reid <saboteur_98155@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Compound- Chapter 2 (gay male/celebrity)

=DISCLAIMER=
This story is meant to imply nothing about the
sexuality of the real person involved. Anything
mentioned from this point on is purely fictional and
not meant in any way but the highest regard.

Comments, Suggestions, and Criticisms can be sent to
saboteur_98155@yahoo.com

Enjoy!

=====================================================
The Compound- Chapter 2
By Reid
=====================================================

"Zac... that is disgusting. I'm ashamed to even hear
it."

"Why? Imagine how much money we could make!"

"I'm not going to sell my sperm..."

"We would make so much money!"

"No sperm bank would ever accept sperm from here."

"We wouldn't go to a sperm bank, Reid. Get with the
program."

"Explain it to me again."

"Ok, here's the deal: you fuck me for an hour or so
and get a couple loads in me, I squeeze my asscheeks
together and we just hang out for a couple hours, then
we get like 10 cups and I fart into each one. And
that's what we sell!"

"That's sick."

"It's not sick! It's genius! It would be you with some
my special seasonings!"

I was fighting a losing battle as I couldn't help but
begin to laugh. Zac's gross sense of humor just had
it's way of making me laugh in spite of myself. His
ability to lighten the situation after last night was
a welcome thing because I had absolutely no idea what
I was supposed to say or do. But he didn't have the
same problem, thankfully.

For the first time since I'd arrived there, the
morning time announcement didn't wake me up. Laying
there and feeling Zac in my arms had managed to slowly
pull me out of the depths of sleep and it took me a
few minutes to realize what had happened. I was used
to having plenty of body range in my bed but Zac's
presence, while more than welcome, took up quite a bit
of room and for some reason, I got the wacky
impression that this wouldn't be a one time thing. Zac
woke up gradually on his own but I'm sure my nibbling
on the soft warm skin of his bare shoulder and neck
didn't help. There was something about his body that
made me just want to touch him all over, wether it was
his warm, golden, inviting silkyness or that his
thick, fleshy mass seemed to beg to be squeezed and
fondled, I didn't know. Laying there in the darkness,
rubbing my fingertips over his wide hips and strong
thighs, tracing around to his bellybutton and gently
rubbing around the rim and feeling him shiver gently
against me, letting the backs of my fingers brush
against his silky pubic hairs... the only thought I had
was some dim wonderment if life could get any better.

When the light went on automatically at 7:45, Zac
groaned and pushed back against me. The mix of shampoo
and sweat was intoxicating and made me dizzy. When the
light hit his eyes, Zac rested his arm over his face
and I couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked:
like a rockstar being assaulted by the horrible light
of daytime after a night of partying.

"Good morning, sweetheart." I whispered amarously in
his ear.

"So this is what a sex hangover feels like. I'd been
wondering."

"My little virgin. How lovely." I said, leaning in and
kissing his neck.

"I ain't a virgin no more." He murmured, smiling and
rolling over to face me. He opened his eyes and looked
at me, only inches from my face.

"So I was the first?"

"The one and only. And I want it to stay that way,
ok?" The maturity in his eyes made me feel like I was
twelve and had gotten caught jerking off by my
grandmother.

"Ok..." I had no clue what to say.

"No ok, Reid. Say yes." He had an edge of seriousness
in his voice that I had never heard.

"Yes, Zac. You're the only one."

"No cheating. No one else. Just you and me." He said,
and it was crystal clear that he wasn't going to
budge. And that was good because, just like I was
beginning to realize, if I didn't know when or how say
something, he did and would.

"Of course, Zac."

He kissed me on the lips and hugged me, his warm body
pressed against mine under the sheet. I ran my hands
up and down his back, feeling his beathing and
heatbeat. I closed my eyes and began to drift off...

And that's when Zac brought up the wet, squishy
feeling in his ass and it naturally developed into the
sperm bank debate. There was something nice about how
he was able to be serious and get his point across and
then lighten the mood in his own unique way. It was
one of the many attractive qualities he had. Laying
there with him in my bed just made everything else
seem unimportant. None of my book clubs or art classes
or anything I had left behind had any meaning to me.
The only thing that meant anything right at that
moment was my love for Zac and right then and there, I
knew the only reason I hadn't killed myself long ago
was the lingering hope that I would get to feel this
way at some point.

=8:00am. Those attending tutoring, activity and/or
hobby groups should wake up. The hot water will be
available in five minutes=

"Yeah, ok." Zac said, sarcastically.

"Hmmm?" I had been drifting in and out of
consciousness.

"Like we're going anywhere."

 "You have school. And I have my English Literature
club. We have to get up if we want the shower."

"Reid..." He groaned, "Can't we just cuddle and bask in
the afterglow?"

"Sorry." Sitting up, I pulled the sheet off and
exposed his naked body to the warm air. He squirmed
and stretched his legs out, enjoying the sensation as
I sat up and applied my eydrops.

"Why do you do that?" He asked and I could hear (and
smell) him rolling over lazily onto his back.

"Long story." I stood up and pulled out my day's
wardrobe.

"I'm not going anywhere." He sat up and slid onto the
edge of the bed. His hands caressed my bare leg
lovingly and he leaned in to rub his soft lips across
the outside of my thigh. My knees felt like jelly and
I had to lean on the dresser to keep from buckling.

"Tell me what happened." The tone of his voice was so
affectionate that I had to fight crying.

"My dad hit me with a brick. It left my right eye
permanently unable to self lubricate after I sleep."

"What a bastard." He said softly.

"Yeah, but he isn't here. And we need a shower. You
can go first."

I turned my attention back to the dresser but heard
him make a scoffing noise, "Reid?"

I turned around and looked at him. He was standing up
and smiling. He reached down and took my hand and led
me slowly into the bathroom where he winked at me
before bending over and turning on the water, giving
me a stunning view of his ass. He stood up and kissed
me on the cheek and took my hand again, leading me
into the shower and under the flowing stream of hot
water. He wrapped his arms around me and leaned in to
kiss me on the cheek as the water began to soak us
both, running over our faces as our lips met and we
began to kiss. He lightly brushed my lips with his
tounge as his hands slid over my shoulders and down my
back, eventually resting on my asscheeks and squeezing
them firmly, his strength making me shiver. Our lips
began wrestling with more passion and our wet bodies
slid against each other and our breathing began to
speed up, our passion not abated by the hot water. Zac
whimpered and grabbed my left hand and guided it down
to his rock hard erection as he covered my neck with
hot wet kisses. I kissed him gently on his damp
forehead and felt him shudder as I realized that his
forehead was a big errogenous zone and I marked it
down for future use as my hand slid down his stomach
and wrapped around the plump shaft of his cock. He
moaned and thrust his hips into my hand as I kissed
the top of his hair and rubbed it under the shower
head, soaking it and turning it dark and spongy. His
knees seemed to be getting weak and the last thing I
wanted at that point was to see my new lover fall and
crack his head open on the floor of the shower so I
gently guided him against the wall of the shower and
began to kiss my way down his neck. Zac gasped as he
seemed to realize where I was headed and he simply
closed his eyes, let his head fall back, and pushed
his hips forward towards me.

The hot water was spraying onto the top of my head and
onto Zac's stomach as my kisses found their way to his
dark nipples. The two small buds were rock hard and I
couldn't resist licking my tounge over them and
hearing his moans of pleasure as they throbbed under
my tounge. His left nipple was twitching slightly with
the pounding of his heart as I gazed up at the
underside of his delicate chin, admiring the cute
little cleft before turning my attention back and
gently tugging at both nipples with my teeth, one
after the other. His cock twitched and swelled and I
felt the hot spurts of precum hit my chest as my lips
slid easily onto the soft, warm, wet space between his
pecs. Rubbing my lips around on the wet skin, I could
feel a slight hint of peach fuzz growing as I got yet
another example of how my favorite little drummer boy
was becoming a man before my eyes. My tounge took on a
life of it's own as it traced down the line between
his stomach muscles and swirled around in his
bellybutton.

"Oh God Reid," His voice moaned out of the wet
steaminess, "That feels so amazing... don't stop...
please..."

That wasn't my plan as my lips found the wet, dripping
bush of his soft blond pubic bush. I rubbed my lips
through the soggy wet hair and enjoyed the musky scent
of his shaft as I ran my lips firmly over the
stretched wet skin. His moaning reached a peak as I
wrapped my lips around the hot, throbbing rim of his
cock and gave it a loving suck. Zac really knew how to
pump out precum as spurt after spurt of his thin, hot
juice hit my tounge, the sweetness of it tasing so
good. I used my tounge to peek under the foreskin and
lick at his tender cockhead, feeling him jerk and
thrust his hips in short spasms. My hand slowly
crawled up his wet leg as my two fingers pushed into
the space between his asscheeks and ballsack, poking
the area slightly and making Zac shiver.

His moaning turned into deep, guttural groans of
passion and I ran my fingers over his slippery balls,
feeling the short soft hairs that had started to grow.
My fingers crept back towards his hole and he gasped.
His balls shifted up in his sack as his hands moved
from my shoulders to the top of my head.

"Oh fuck, Reid. Baby, I'm gonna..."

His cock throbbed one last time and his hips slowly
pushed forward as my mouth created an airtight seal
over his cockhead and I squeezed his balls, firmly and
lovingly. With my other hand, I pushed my index finger
into his hot, tight hole and curled it inside it and
it felt like a sticking my finger into a hot burrito.
A groan came from deep in his stomach and kept getting
louder until his voice cracked. I pushed the tip of my
tounge into his slit as the first hot gushing spurt of
cum entered my mouth. Zac's hips moved back and forth
in a sexual rhythm and spurt after spurt of his hot
cum filled my mouth. There was so much of it that it
began to dribble out onto my chin and down my neck as
Zac's thrusts began to slow and his cock began to
deflate back to it's normal size.

After one final slurp and swallow, I pulled my mouth
of him and tenderly kissed each of his balls as they
dropped back down in his sac from the heat. We were
both covered in a mix of sweat and water as I felt his
hand under my armpit pulling me upward. I stood up and
pushed against him as he smiled and kissed me with
just the slightest pressure, just barely puckering his
lips against mine. We stood there for a few minutes as
he reocvered, enjoying just being together until we
got down to buisness and actually washed. I couldn't
help but smile at how Zac would turn his long mass of
blond hair into a huge pile of suds on top of his head
before rinsing it. He stood at the back of the shower
and wrung the water out of his hair as I took my turn
with the shampoo and just as I was rinsing, I felt his
hand begin to rub my back. He had coated his hand in
the cool body wash and he rubbed it in long strokes up
and down my back, making me shiver as it went straight
to my spinal cord.

He pressed himself against me and asked softly, "Is
that a little too cold?"

I smiled and nodded so slightly I was surprised he
could see it.

"Well, then..." He said in a mock gunslinger voice, "I
reckon we'll just have to warm you up, partner."

He winked and covered his hands in the blue gel and
hugged me from behind, rubbing his wet hands all over
my chest and stomach, planting kisses on my shoulder.
In seconds, I was covered in the sweet smelling suds
as he squatted down to soap up my legs. My brain
nearly melted when his hands finally found my hard on
and he squeezed it, his slick hands sliding up and
down on my cock and gently reaching down to cup my
balls. I had to lean on Zac to keep from falling over
as he stroked me with the gel, slower at first and
then obeying my desire to speed up. I tried to hold
back but I couldn't as he shoved his tounge into my
ear and I went careening over the edge. My cock
swelled and I sprayed my thick load all over the
faucets and the wall in front of me. Just like I had
done minutes earlier, Zac held me until my breathing
had returned to normal. From then on, the shower was
pretty routine as we brushed our teeth and playfully
wiped the used drool on each other before shutting the
faucet off well before our time was up.

We stepped out of the shower and Zac grabbed a towel
and thoroughly dried me off from my toes all the way
up, finishing with a kiss on the chin. Of course, I
returned the favor and we eventually made our way back
into the room, but not without quite a bit of tickling
and playfull pinching of each other's bare skin. Zac
sat down on his bed and dressed while I did the same
on mine, expecting that to be it for the morning, but
once again, Zac surprised me. As soon as he was
dressed, he got up off his bed and climbed onto mine
and pulled me down. He cuddled up to me and draped his
right arm over me as we layed there.

"You ok?" I asked.

"I'm awesome. We have a little while before
breakfast..."

"I'm empty, Zac..." I seriously was. I couldn't handle
another ball drainer right then.

"I don't mean that, Romeo. I mean we could just lay
here for a while... together."

"Oh... ok. We could do that."

I layed down next to him and hugged him as he rubbed
his bare foot over my shin, amazing me with how gentle
he could be even with his foot. I rested my face in
the nape of his neck and took in the sensation of his
still damp hair against my cheek and forehead and I
listened to him breathing softly. I wasn't really
aware of it but at some point, my eyes began to blur
with tears as the feeling of having something alive
and real so close to me. The tears passed but the
feeling of amazement didn't.

=9:15am. The morning aquatic recreation group has been
moved from the DT level pool to the CS level pool.=

Zac and I sat side by side in the cafeteria, his right
leg draped over my knee under the table, as I
carefully buttered my toast and Zac hacked  into the
mound of waffles on his straining plate. He caressed
the back of my calf with his toe as I opened my orange
juice and took a sip, pleasantly surprised at the
quality of the chemically produced "fruitfood". That
morning, we'd decided to use the same tray to carry
our food and just that small thing gave us both a
charge as it instantly added a small bit of unity to
our relationship. And then when we sat down, I felt
Zac's leg casually flop across mine as if we'd been
doing it for years. He'd looked at me not saying a
word until I nodded, getting his famous smile in
return as we began eating.

After a few minutes, a friend of Zac's named Jake whom
he'd met in his math and science class, came over and
asked Zac if he knew what chapters they'd be studying
today. Zac told him and as Jake walked away, I saw the
familiar look of longing mixed with jealousy that I'd
become accustomed to. But it was only now that I could
recognize it. Unlike how some others would act, I
didn't want to see to that and it made me feel bad to
see it. Zac wasn't some trophy and it was becoming
pretty clear that people thought I felt that way and
it bothered me, but as I'd learned long ago, people
will believe whatever they want as long as it suits
their own needs.

 =11:30am. This concludes the math portion of your
tutoring. Please prepare for your science tutoring
now=

"All right. Put away the Algebra 3 books and get out
the IP Science text." Ms. Davis, the D sector math and
science tutor, said.

Jake snapped out of his haze and looked up. He was
getting used to feeling so downtrodden, especially on
the days he had math and science and had to sit next
to the most gorgeous, most amazing, most handsome boy
he'd ever seen. It wasn't bad enough that he was
sitting next to Zac Hanson, but what made it worse was
the new knowledge that Zac was taken. Zac had fallen
for the 19 year old guy he'd roomed with and hadn't
even wanted to play the field at all! It was
especially hard for Jake when he knew how happy he
could make Zac. They were just so ideal for one
another.

"I wonder if she's on the rag." Zac said, elbowing
Jake gently in his side and rousting him from his
thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Ms. Davis. She's been really bitchy lately. She's
probably starting to realize how she has no chance to
get laid here."

Jake shrugged and turned back to the drawing he'd been
idly working in. Yet another trait he and Zac shared.
But nope... Zac had someone. Zac was too busy drooling
over his 19 year old pedophile boyfriend to even think
about finding someone his own age. There were times
when Jake would lay in bed and stroke himself to the
fantasies he'd been having for nearly three years and
then when the object of those fantasies was right
there next to him, all he could do was continue to
fantasize. Fantasies had always been his area of
expertise, from his childhood on up to now and not
even getting shipped here because his little sister
couldn't keep her mouth shut could take it away from
him. He only wished that he didn't have to feel so
alone and hopeless.

Jake sighed and exhaled softly.

"Is something wrong?" Zac asked.

"No, nothing's wrong," Jake lied.

Zac looked at him for a few more seconds and Jake
tried not to fall apart and when Zac turned his
attention back to the science book, Jake felt the lump
begin to form in his throat and he did his best to
fight it off. Thankfully, Ms. Davis called their
attention to the front of the room and when Zac
shifted, Jake felt their legs brush together and the
fight it took not to burst into tears was the hardest
battle Jake had ever fought.

=12:10pm. All are expected for lunch in fifty five
minutes=

I walked into my English Lit bookclub and I was
actually looking forward to it since we had just
started reading MacBeth and it was turning to actually
NOT be a boring piece of out of date crap. The room we
met in was quite nice as it had a large skylight that
let in the sun but kept out the blistering heat. I
walked over to the bookcase and grabbed my copy of the
play and took a seat in my usual place, the next to
last row of desks and leaned back. This was one of the
classes I actually enjoyed because it had a nice mix
of intelligent and sensitive guys that I could share
my love of the arts with. It was a hell of a lot
better than my general art appreciation class where we
couldn't seem to get through one movie or lecture
without two guys having to run off and fuck in the
corner.

"Hey Reid." Brandon sat down next to me.

"Hi Brandon."

"Are you worn out or still coming down from the high?"

"Very funny." I said and God seemed to play a trick on
me by making me yawn directly after.

"Oh... well, I guess that answers my question."

"Fuck you."

"You know I would gladly but that job is pretty much...
uh... filled." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but
laugh.

"You're such a pervert. And what the hell are you
doing here?! You aren't in this club!"

"I know, I just had to stop by and see the 'Viking Sex
God' in the flesh."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you go deaf during sex? Zac screamed about how you
were his 'Viking Sex God' about four times last
night."

"Were you listening outside the door?!"

"Nope, everyone in our hallway could hear you guys.
Christ, not only are you blind, you're also deaf!" He
looked at me with mock pity, "Reid, I feel so sorry
for you sometimes."

"Get out of here!" I laughed.

"Hey, whatever you want, Nord," He smiled, "I'll catch
you later?"

"Sure."

He got up and I rubbed my eyes, not wanting to think
about how damn near everyone here was probably forming
their own opinions about me and making assumptions
about "the 19 year old ped who seduced and raped Zac
Hanson". My head started to ache and I massaged my
temples before anything else could start to marinate
inside my head and cause me any further anguish.
Thankfully, Ms. Johnson, the woman who led the club,
arrived and we got to work. Plays were a good method
of escape. For me, at least.

=1:05pm. For those who wish to eat lunch, please
proceed to the nearest cafeteria=

Not surprisingly, I'd been dozing for the past hour,
not really interested in the play as the beginning of
most of Shakespeare's work managed to bore me nearly
to sleep. I heaved myself up from the desk and tossed
the book into the bookcase and headed out the door,
spurred on by knowing that I was on my way to see Zac
again. I strolled through the concourse and weaved my
way to the cafeteria door where, as always, Zac was
waiting for me. He smiled at me but there was
something different, he had a different look in his
eyes.

"Let's go back to the room." Zac said softly, taking
my hand.

"Don't you want to eat?"

"Nah, I'll just eat more at dinner. Let's go back to
the room." He said, and he was seriously pulling on my
arm.

"Zac, what's your problem?" I was kinda concerned.

"I'm horny!" He said it so loud that everyone in the
hall at that moment heard it and looked over. I wanted
to die. After the laughing and 'oohing' settled down,
Zac laughed and continued to pull on my hand.

"Come on! I'm gonna cum in my shorts!" He whined, and
I had no choice but to give in and follow him down the
hall.

Zac led me down the backhallway and up the stairs, of
course we were so obvious I doubt anyone that passed
us in the hallway didn't know what we were doing.
Zac's grip was warm and strong, but still playfully
loose as we made it to the door of our room and Zac
grabbed me in a lustful embrace, kissing me on the
lips and shoving his tounge into my mouth. I sputtered
and pushed my fingers into the ID pad as Zac ground
his hips against me, shoving me back against the frame
of the door and part of me worried that security would
try and arrest him because of how aggressive he was
being.

We stumbled back into the room and Zac fell back onto
me bed as I shoved the door closed. No sooner had I
walked over to the foot of the bed, Zac grabbed me and
pulled me down ontop of him. He locked his lips on
mine and kissed me deeply and the heat from his mouth
was amazing. He was kissing me so hard and so deeply
that I could barely breathe. He kissed me one last
time before rolling over on his stomach and pushing
his ass back against my crotch, rubbing me agressively
and sending jolts of pleasure (and a little pain)
straight to my brain. The smell in the room was hot
and musky with desire as Zac kicked off his shoes and
socks and yanked his shorts down and off completely.

I stuck my hand out to my side and caught the KY Jelly
packet deftly and tore it open. From there, things
just sort of... happened.

=Later...=

It was a few weeks after our first time and it seemed
like Zac and I just got closer and closer to one
another. Every night before we went to sleep, we would
share our deepest, darkest secrets and often, we'd
dissolve into fits of laughter at some gross comment
Zac made to lighten the mood. Every day it seemed like
he would do something new to make my heart melt.
Wether it was lifting my hand up for a gentle kiss as
we walked in the courtyard, or hiding a small heart
made out of a paper clip in my napkin at dinner, or
when he made me go in the bathroom while he moved my
nightstand and pushed our beds together... he just knew
how to make my knees weak.

For a long time, I had wondered and fantasized about
what kind of a kisser Zac was. Based on his TV
appearances, I had suspected that he would be totally
aggressive, constantly shoving his tounge and
thrashing it around but as I was learning, my
preconcieved notions of him were largely turning out
to be wrong. He was a much more sensual, slow kisser
and it seemed like he enjoyed taking his time and
slowly working his tounge over every inch of my mouth.
Our daily makeout sessions would begin with him softly
rubbing his lips against mine and kissing gently
before opening his mouth slightly, letting my tounge
peek inside and slide over the slick roof of his
mouth. At this point, Zac would whimper and rest one
of his hands on my shoulder as he caressed the
underside of my tounge with his lower lip and flick
the tip of his tounge onto the corner of my mouth.
When we first started kissing, Zac would end up with
his chin covered in slobber and my lips would be
soaked in our collective drool which would lead to
some gross comparisions between our drool and "female
fluids".

We layed there at about 4pm on a Thursday afternoon
playing footsie and kissing occasionally, our mood
helped by knowing it was officially the weekend and we
had three days with nothing but each other's glorious
company. Zac had been in an extra good mood that week
since his teacher had made it a point to announce how
his math scores were the highest she'd seen yet. He
had also managed to bruise both his shin and his elbow
at the same time during a collision in a basketball
game, and afterwards told me a long fascinating story
about how he had to be careful of getting "goosed"
which immediately started to get me mad but Zac, my
better half, calmed me down in a hurry. In reality,
Zac really didn't have to be on guard since most
everyone knew he was "taken" and they respected it,
and they respected me and didn't seem to hold a
grudge. Even though I'd heard that some of the
residents in sector J had been forming grandiose plans
in which they'd storm our sector and do unpseakable
things to Zac. I tried to just shrug it off but the
thought of Zac being forced to perform sexual acts on
40 year old molestors made my blood boil.

"Hey, sweetie?" Zac said. He had recently taken to
calling me sappy pet names and even though I would get
annoyed, deep down I really liked it. It made me feel
loved and Zac actually sounded genuine.

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry, honey."

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath before answering,
"What?"

"Do you think I should shave?"

"Shave? Shave what?"

"Myself. Our record label said people wanted to see us
as 'kids' for as long as possible so they had us--"

"Ewww! Zac, shut up."

"Reid, I'm just saying that if you want me to do that,
I will."

"You're not in their world anymore. You don't need to
conform to their standards here."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Seriously."

Zac smiled and kissed me softly on the tip of my nose.

"Besides," I said, rubbing the top of my foot against
his calf, "I like you better furry."

He laughed and got up and stradled my hips, "So what
are we gonna do for the weekend?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Have long, loud, wet, drippy, stinky butt sex with
you for three days straight."

"God Zac! We do that almost every night... do you have a
chemical imbalance?"

He didn't say anything. He sat there and bit his lower
lip and looked down at me with a wry look on his face.

"Are you just figuring that out?" He said softly, a
hint of dumbfoundedness in his voice.

I shook my head and playfully poked Zac in the
stomach, sending him sprawling backwards. I sat up and
looked down at him, his blond hair splayed out around
his head and he smiled angelically at me, his eyes
sparkling. All I could do was laugh and reach down and
tickle him affectionately as he squirmed and giggled
under my fingers. He blew me a kiss and I took it as
an invitation, laying down ontop of him and kissing
him square on the lips, letting my hand slip slowly
under his t-shirt and onto his warm stomach, feeling
it move up and down as he breathed.

"Oh man," He said softly, blowing a stray wisp of his
hair against my neck.

"What?"

"We need to admit the truth."

"Oh really? You've got a handle on that, for sure."

"We're in love, Reid. I mean, you're my soulmate and
if you're at all smart, you'll say that I'm your
soulmate. It's something that if we just admit it to
ourselves and learn to live with, things will be
fine."

"Awww..." I said with mock distaste, "I don't want to
admit it."

"Reid, it's just gonna eat at you until you admit it."
The mock seriousness in his voice was so cute.

"What's going to eat at me? The truth or you?"

"Either/or. If you and I just admit it, we'll be
cool."

"Ok..." I took a long, deep breath, "Zac, you're my
soulmate. I love you."

"Awwwww.... you mean it?" His voice was layered with
sappyness.

"Hey, you're the one who wanted me to say it!" I said
and pressed my fingers into his waist. He laughed and
squirmed under me.

"Reid... you're my soulmate. I love you too."

"That's better."

"Reid... did you ever know that you're my hero?"

"Am I everything you would like to be?"

"Oh yeah. You're the wind beneath my wings..." He
couldn't finish as we both began to laugh and shake on
the bed before Zac embraced me snugly. I rolled onto
my side and rested my forehead against his, feeling
his soft breath against my cheek and his sock covered
foot slowly rubbing up and down my leg. He giggled
again and kissed me on the lips, sliding his fingers
inbetween mine and squeezing my hand and making me
falter slightly at how warm and soft his hand felt
intertwined with mine.

"Damn, you got some big hands." I said.

"Well, you know what they say about guys with big
hands, don't ya?" His arrogant voice was hilarious.

"Yes I do. They say 'There goes a guy with big hands
and a small penis.'"

"Shut up!" Zac laughed and pushed me jokingly. He
rolled over onto his side and snuggled back up against
me, rubbing his ass seductively against my crotch,
giving me flashbacks.

"Whew... you need a shower." I said, but I kind of
enjoyed his teenaged musk.

"I don't need a shower."

"Uh, yeah you do. You smell like foot and ass."

"You wanna know what ass really smells like?"

"NO! If you fart, I swear to god I'll kill you!" I
knew not to take the threat lightly. Bad experiences.

"You sure? If you want, I can show you..." He was
grinning like a maniac.

Shuddering, I reached down and pinched his bare thigh
and felt him squirm and giggle in my arms. They moved
a desk into the extra space that pushing our beds
together had created and for his luxury item, Zac had
asked for a full set of encyclopedias. I'd had to get
used to letting him study or do homework by himself
for an hour each night, which was a battle in and of
its self. Zac had astonished me in yet another way
with how quickly he could rifle through ten pages of
work in about fifteen minutes and it would be flawless
when it woukd take me almost four hours with one
stupid math assignment. They always say the crazy ones
are the smartest.

=To Be Continued=

There was a knock at the door. Heaving myself up off
Zac, I stumbled over and pressed the "talk" button in
the intercom, "Yeah?"

"Mail Call. Cameron/Hanson, room 33A."

Every Friday, we'd get our mail and since his
deportation, there had been quite a bit of mail for
Zac from people who supported him and people who felt
he had done society some harm. He didn't pay the
letters much mind and laughed at how seriously some of
the people took themselves. Also included was a letter
from his parents that included pictures of his two
youngest siblings and drawings they had made for him
and it was one of the rare times that Zac was
completely quiet. Apparently, his mother and father
didn't agree with what he did but nothing could change
that he was their son and had been taken away from
them. He let me read the letter and it was a big
moment for the both us and since then, he'd wondered
why my parents never sent me anything but all it took
was a few stories from my childhood to satisfy his
curiousity. Truth be told, I had no desire to hear
from my parents.

I pulled open the door and the courier handed me five
envelopes which was well below our usual weekly haul
when it came to mail. As I expected, four of the
letters were for Zac and the last one was for me. I
casually glanced at the return adress as I tossed the
other letters onto Zac's stomach and sat down next to
him. Zac shoulder checked me playfully and I returned
the favor before looking back at the letter. It was
from Napa Valley. I had finally gotten a letter from
my parents.

"Hate mail... gay stalker... hate mail... hate mail." Zac
shuffled though his letters and tossed them in the
wastebasket without even opening them.

Taking a deep breath, I ripped open the envelope and
pulled out the stiff piece of white paper. It was
printed on the stationary of my dad's vineyard.
Cameron Spirits Inc. It always sounded like such a
pansyass yuppie name and if my dad's old friends ever
found out, they'd beat him to death with their 20 foot
novelty bongs. The letter read:

Dear Reid,

How is everything there? I wish things here could be
better, honestly..
Ryan is going into the 4th grade this year and when he
asks us about you,
we just don't know what to tell him. What are we
supposed to tell him,
Reid? It isn't exactly his fault that his big brother
is a freak, is it? I'm really
interested in knowing how you feel we should deal with
this.

That is, unless you write us back. But if you're still
hanging onto some sort
of blame against your father for what he did, then I
can't control that. You need
to realize that he did what he did for the good of the
next generation, Reid.
Because you couldn't be normal, your little brother
asks us where you are
almost every day and I don't think that's fair. Do
you?

Our lives have been permanently scarred because of
your choice of lifestyle.
In our hearts, we know we're better because we didn't
drive our son to a
dirty, disease infested way of life. It isn't our
fault, Reid. You made the
choice and because of that, our lives are changed and
not for the better.

I hope you're satisfied, Reid.

Your mother.

It wasn't anything I was surprised to hear. Since I
was about six, I'd known that my family was insane and
this letter was yet another piece of proof I had. But
it hurt. It hurt because right when I had finally
found happiness and found someone I could share all of
myself with, this letter had to come. Even 8000 miles
away and with no vocal means to communicate with me,
she could still take a huge dump on my happy time. It
was an uncanny ability she had.

"Who's the letter from?" Zac wrapped his arms around
me and hugged me from behind.

"My mom."

Zac didn't say anything. He took the letter from my
hand and crumpled it up slowly before tossing it into
the watsebasket. I felt him pulling me backwards onto
the bed as he kissed my neck gently, laying me down on
the bed. He gently nuzzled my ear as he kissed his way
around to my face. He shifted his weight down ontop of
me and rubbed his leg sensuously against mine and
kissed me deeply on the lips, running his down to my
crotch and sending my cock into overdrive.

He kissed his way back to my ear and whispered, "I'll
suck out all the pain."

I had an idea what he meant as he slid his hands under
my shirt and pulled it up over my head and off me.
Then he pulled off my socks and tossed them in the
pile with my shirt and I felt his fingers hook in the
straining waistband of my shorts. Seconds later I was
naked and at his mercy as he began kissing my stomach,
pressing his lips against my abs and slurping softly,
slipping his tounge into my belly button and wiggling
it gently. I was squirming quite a bit and he had to
hold my hips to keep me from sliding right off the bed
as he ran his right hand up my leg and began to fondle
my nuts lovingly. He rubbed his lips through my pubes
and kissed his way softly up my shaft as I looked down
at him. We made eye contact for a second before he
engufled my cock with his luscious lips and sucked me
into his hot, wet mouth. I had to fight from cumming
at the first sensation of his mouth around my dick as
he began to suck, alternating between hard and gentle
drags on me.

His right hand massaged my testicles gently as his
left hand found it's way up onto my chest and tweaked
my nipples. I writhed on the bed and whimpered,
running my fingers through his long, silky hair,
rubbing it against my stomach. He slid his tounge up
my shaft, using it to massage and tease me until I
nearly went over the edge but not letting me fall
over, his lips pulling off me on each upstroke. His
lips traveled down to my balls and he took one into
his mouth slowly, while sliding his left hand under my
knee and draping my leg over his shoulder while his
right hand squeezed my cockhead playfully. He sucked
one nut and then the other, soaking them with his warm
saliva before letting them fall from his mouth and
nibbling at the sensitive area directly behind them,
making me gasp and groan softly.

We both knew I couldn't hold out much longer and Zac
prepared for the inevitable by closing his lips tight
around my cockhead and pressing his tounge against my
piss slit, sending waves of pleasure through my body.
My hips thrust and my cock swelled as the first few
hot gushes of my cum sprayed into his mouth, followed
by several more thick spurts that went straight on his
throat. Zac took it like a pro, sucking every drop
into his mouth and quickly licking up what landed on
his chin or upper lip. I drifted back to earth as he
held my cock carefully between his lips and gave it a
few firm and thurough draining sucks before letting it
slip out of his mouth.

I reached up and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my
hands and took several deep breaths as I felt Zac
slide up next to me and kiss me on the cheek. Removing
my hands from my eyes, I looked over at him and
smiled.

"Did that help?" He asked. I could smell my cum on his
breath.

I could only murmur in the affirmative as I leaned in
and kissed him, slipping my tounge into his mouth and
tasting the remnants of my orgasm on his lips and
tounge. He ran his hand up and down my torso slowly,
letting my taste myself as his tounge caressed mine
and shared the salty sweet cum. He draped his leg over
mine and rubbed it against me as our kisses eventually
shallowed and we were left gazing into each others
eyes.

Then I fell asleep.

=Even later...=

It must have been late that night but it couldn't have
been too late because I could hear some of the other
residents in our sector down the hall partying. It
wasn't an uncommon thing to do on a weekend night just
as long as you weren't too loud. Our room was
completely dark and Zac was breathing right into my
ear like a big dog and his arm was thrown over my head
so that his armpit was practically in my face. He had
taken off his shirt before he fell asleep and the wiry
hairs where tickling my chin slightly but I was only
noticing the musk invading my sinuses and unlike other
gay guys, it didn't turn me on in the least.

I rubbed my hand up and down his back and held him
gently while I did my best to untangle myself from
him. The motion must have rousted him as he tightened
his grip and kissed me clumsily on the neck.

"Where you goin'?" He mumbled into my ear.

"ASM. I'm thristy."

"Nah, I'm half dressed. I'll go." He pushed himself up
off me and instantly, I missed the warmth of having
him close. In the darkness, I could make out him
struggling into his shirt. He looked around for a few
seconds trying to find his socks, but gave up and
slipped his bare feet into his shoes. He sat
motionless for a second and it looked like he was
feeling his stomach.

"You ok?" I sat up and gently rubbed his shoulder.

"Yeah. I guess I ate too much at lunch or something.
My stomach kinda hurts."

"You want to go the infirmary?" I asked, getting
genuinely concerned.

"No. No, I don't need to see the doctor. I'll be ok.
What do you want to drink?"

"Water's fine with me."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

Zac stood up off the bed and on his way out the door,
felt another pang in his side as he strolled down the
hall towards the ASM booth. He took a deep breath and
massaged his side as he walked up to the illuminated
face and punched in an order for one water and one
fruit punch. He jumped up and down a few times to burn
off some of his usual extra energy as he waited for
the damn machine to process his order.

"Hey Zac."

Zac turned around, somewhat startled, to see Brandon
standing in the open arch of the hallway. Something
about him had made Zac nervous ever since they had
first been introduced in the cafteria. Reid seemed to
like him but there was something about Brandon's
personality, some weird sleaziness about him that
scared Zac a little.

"Hi Brandon." Zac said, smiling as he turned back to
the ASM.

"How are you and Reid doing?" Brandon said, leaning
against the side of the doorway.

"We're great. We're thinking of buying a house on the
beach."

"You know... Reid has some major issues."

"Of what? Playgirl?" Zac laughed, trying to hide his
nervousness.

"No, goofy." Brandon walked over and stood next to
Zac, "He has attatchment issues. He was neglected by
his parents and he has a hard time dealing with people
who he thinks betray him."

The pain in Zac's stomach had returned and he
struggled to hide it as Brandon leaned casually
against the wall beside him, "You know, Zac. You've
got some real guts to commit yourself to him like you
did. If I were you, I mean, I'd at least play the
field. You're young, blond, cute, and famous. Think of
the guys you could get here."

"I don't want to think of that. Reid made me feel so
complete ever since I got here. Or are you not able to
recognize that?" Zac said, an edge coming to his voice
that he only used when he was deadly serious.

"Hey! I'm not saying anything here. I'm just kinda
impressed that you could be so 'in love' with him."
Brandon smirked as the small beep went off in the ASM,
signaling that Zac's order had arrived.

"I'm 15. I don't know a hell of a lot but I know that
Reid and I love each other. And for your sake, you'd
better accept that." Zac opened the small door and
took out the two bottles and started back up the hall,
trying to ignore the sting in his waist.

"How's Jake?" Brandon called.

Zac stopped and sighed. He had been trying to ignore
Jake's obvious attraction and the more that he had to
see it, the worse it hurt.

"He loves you, Zac. He's your age, too." Brandon said,
and the arrogance in his voice made Zac want to kick
him in the balls.

"But if you're happy with Reid, then that's good too."
Brandon said and Zac walked back into the room and
shut the door.

I was laying on the bed when Zac came back in.
Something looked off about him as he tossed me the
water before kicking off his shoes and climbing back
into bed with me. He kissed me on the cheek before
opening the juice.

"Everything ok?" I asked, gently running my finger
over his bare knee.

"Yeah, everythings fine. I just wish I could get rid
of this stomach ache." He laughed, but it didn't
exactly sound sincere.

I thought for a moment but decided to take his word
for it. I opened the water and took a long swig before
settling back down under the covers. Zac pulled his
shirt off and tossed it on the floor before sliding
into the bed next to me as I spooned him from behind.
We laid there for a few minutes and I gently rubbed my
lips across his shoulder and a second later, his body
jerked and he pulled into the fetal position,
whimpering like a little dog.

"Zac, we're going to the doctor." I said, getting up
and looking for my clothes.

"No! Reid, I'm ok. I just have a stomachache. I'm ok."
He was almost begging with me.

I stood there and looked at him, unnerved by the
anxiety he was showing. Part of me wanted to believe
him but another part felt responsible for his well
being and wanted to get him checked out at the
infirmary. He was smiling, trying to calm me down, but
I could tell he was hurting really bad.

"We can go to the doctor but in the morning ok?" He
said.

"Why can't we go now?"

"I just don't want to go in the night."

"Ok." I gave in. I tossed my t-shirt on the dresser
and climbed back into bed with him. Zac layed there
motionless, trying to convince me (or himself) that
everything would be all right until the next morning.
Not wanting to hurt him, I laid my arm across his
shoulder and hugged him gently. He was shaking
slightly and up from my stomach came the unmistakable
anxiety that you only feel a few times in your life,
if you're lucky. It was a feeling that I remebered
when my cat was very sick and my parents made me put
her in a box and taker her to the vet because "it
wasn't their problem". The sick, heavy feeling of
fear.

I fell asleep at some point and rolled over onto my
right side...

=Later still...=

It wasn't a loud noise that woke me up. I had been
sleeping shallowly, not wanting to miss the first time
notification so I could take Zac to the infirmary as
soon as possible. I remember opening my eyes in the
darkness because a foul smell had caught my nose and
my internal alarm had been set off because it wasn't
the kind of smell that would come from a healthy
environment. At that point, I was still half asleep
and as I sat up, I nudged Zac to try and wake him up.
There was no response.

That's when I got worried.

It felt like my heart had fallen into my stomach as I
put my hand on his bare shoulder to try and wake him
up. I immediately pulled my hand back because his skin
was cool and clamy. My hand shook as I reached over
and turned on the bedside lamp and looked down at Zac,
trying not to freak out as I saw his pale, damp face
against the pillow. My life flashed before my eyes as
I looked down and saw that the foul smell was a pool
of vomit on the floor beside the bed and a small stain
was beside Zac's open mouth. During the night, he had
puked and all I could do was thank God that he had
been laying on his side and not on his back.

"Zac?" I said it as softly as I could, "Zac... you
there?"

He didn't say anything for a few seconds until I heard
a faint murmur from somewhere inside him. He looked so
pale and sick that for a second, I wondered if I
should touch him and right away, I was terribly
ashamed and reminded myself that I'd slept next to him
all night. If I was going to get infected, it had
already happened.

As a part of my job, I'd had to learn some first aid
techniques and I knew I'd have to put them to use here
as I slipped my hand gently behind his neck and rolled
him over against me. He was curled into a ball and it
took only a slight touch of my hand on his knee for
him to straighten out under the covers. My hands still
shook as I used the sheet to mop some of the cold
sweat from his face and I spoke softly to him, "Zac,
talk to me."

My lower lip started to shake and my eyes blurred as
Zac murmured again and squirmed very slightly in my
arms. Then, his eyes opened slightly and any triumph I
felt was soon turned into heartache. His beautiful
hazel eyes were muddy and wet and I could tell
something was seriously wrong when I looked into them.
His lips moved slightly and I could tell he was trying
to talk.

"Shh.. it's ok, Zac. I'm going to take you to the
doctor."

A tear ran down his cheek.

How I kept from totally breaking down is beyond me but
I managed to hold it together. I leaned down and
gently kissed him on the forehead before laying him
back down on the bed and pulling my clothes on in a
rush. As soon as my shoes were on my feet, I pulled
the covered down and off the bed and as gently as I
could, sat Zac up and leaned him against me. I worked
around him to straighten the comforter out and I laid
him back down and he tried to curl back up into a
ball. Wrapping him up like a baby was no easy task as
he felt like dead weight as I slid my left arm under
his knees and my right arm under his neck to support
his head.

This wasn't going to be an easy trip since I hadn't
been to the gym in a few weeks and I'd be operating
with only swimmers muscle. That wasn't even counting
Zac's weight, and as I lifted him up, it surprised me
how much of a strain he put on my biceps and my lower
back. Zac whimpered softly as I picked him up and I
felt guilty as hell knowing that I was causing him
pain but I didn't know what to do to stop. The medic
crew wouldn't get here fast enough and if I waited,
Zac would die in my arms.

Walking backwards to the door, I propped it open with
my foot and carefully manuvered Zac into the dark
hallway and after the automatic beep of the lock, I
began down the hall. As far as I could tell, it was
still the middle of the night but as I made my way
into the second hallway, I could see the dawning sun
coming through the large glass enclosed skywalk and
naturally, I thought back to Zac's first night when we
stood in the hall and looked up at the mural.
Thankfully, I didn't start crying because the strain
of carrying Zac quickly was the only thing on my mind.
That and making sure I didn't enduce another of those
horrible whimpers.

The infirmary was clearly marked with a large blue
circle on a white background and I spotted it at the
corner of the hallway which led to the C sector. The
hall was painted a soothing grey color and about
halfway down the hall, I felt Zac jerk in my arms and
spew a second stomachload all over the comforter, even
getting some on my t-shirt. Only faltering for a
second, I readjusted my grip and hauled Zac through
the white swinging doors. I saw a sign that said:
"Infirmary - 300 feet".

Sweat was pouring down my face and my arms felt like
they were going to fall off as finally, the sign for
the infirmary came into view at the end of the hall. I
almost stumbled as I carried Zac up to the open
doorway and went inside, falling forward onto my knees
but making sure to set Zac down with the greatest of
care. My chest felt like it weighed a ton as the night
nurse came up to me.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?"

"No..." I gasped, trying to breath, "He said... he had... he
said he a stomach-- a stomach ache. Please... help him."

She got up and called the attending physician as I
pulled myself over to Zac and tried not to pass out
from exhaustion. Resting my hands on his bare arm took
all my strength as I leaned down and kissed him softly
on the cheek, hoping to remind him that I was there
and wouldn't leave him. At that point, laying on the
comforter on the stark white linoleium floor, he
looked lifeless. If I didn't know any better, I would
have thought he was dead but as soon as I began
thinking that way, I felt guilty.

Guilty for thinking thatm guilty for letting this
happen to him, guilty for not insisting that we came
to the doctor earlier.

Then came the fear. As the doctor knelt down beside
Zac and felt his forehead, I sat back and began to
realize that I had no idea what was wrong. After
feeling Zac's throat, the doctor called for a
stretcher and I backed off, not wanting to interfere
and the night nurse helped me back as I sat down on
one of the black leather chairs in the waiting room.

The next few minutes were a complete blur but I
remembered Zac being loaded onto the stretcher and
taken quickly back into the mystery doctor's area
behind the curtain. As soon as they disappeared and I
was alone in the waiting room, my inner resolve burst
and I began to sob into my hands... angry sobs filled
with self hatred. After the anger came the sobs of
just pure fear. The nurse sat down next to me and
reassuringly held me as my sobs eventually turned into
tired sniffling as all the carrying and exerting
myself all at once finally caught up with me. My whole
body went limp and everything in front of me sort of
went dark but I didn't pass out. I didn't even fall
asleep. I slipped into a heavy stupor of fear and
exhaustion.

I was aware of being helped up and eventually laying
back down on a soft cot in the nurses station. She sat
with me for a long time and gently rubbed my forehead
with a cool washcloth. It wasn't too long before I
woke up for real and tried to sit up, but she held me
back. The IV in my arm did it's part, as well.

"I have to get up... I have to see if he's ok..." I
mumbled.

"Take it easy, Reid." She gently eased me back onto
the cot.

"Where am I..."

"You're at the infirmary. My name is Annie. I've been
taking care of you all day."

"What time is it?"

"It's about... 3pm." She said, looking at her watch.

"Is Zac..." I couldn't even bring myself to ask it.

"He's in post-op recovery. He--"

"What's wrong with him?!" I interrupted.

"His appendix burst very early this morning. They had
to go in and remove it and clean out his stomach."

"Is he gonna be ok?" I was nearly hysterical.

"Let me get Dr. Rios."

"Oh God." I moaned to myself and buried my head in my
hands. A few minutes later, Dr. Rios, a younger
Hispanic woman who most straight guys would cream
over, sat down in the desk chair next to my cot.

"Hi Reid. I'm Dr. Rios. I operated on Zac." She
smiled. It was a warm, but obviously practiced smile.

"Is he gonna be ok?"

"Well, we don't know yet. You brought him in at," She
stopped to look at a char, "5:47am and according to
what we've been able to tell, his appendix burst
twelve minutes earlier. You said you carried him from
DD sector, correct?"

"Yes."

"At the rate you apparently went, judging from the
dehydration and fatigue, it couldn't have taken you
more than five minutes to get here. The 'danger zone'
for appendicits is usually fifteen to twenty minutes.
You got him here under what I call 'zero barrier' and
that's very encouraging. I removed all the debris in
his viscera and inserted the tube that will keep any
further toxins from accumulating."

"But... is he gonna be ok?"

"It's too soon to tell if the toxins have gotten into
his bloodstream. Do you want me to be honest or
optimistic?"

"Ummm... can't you be both?" I was getting frustrated,
"Be honest! Just... tell me the truth!"

"There is about a %35 chance that Zac's bloodstream
may have been contaminated. If it has been, the toxins
will most like make their way into his heart and from
there, they would spread into the rest of his body.
Eventually, his brain would be contaminated."

My world just about ended. The mere notion that Zac
would be ravaged like that sent me reeling. I didn't
know what to say.

"Reid, did he complain of stomach aches last night?"

"Yes," I moaned miserably into my hands, "Last night
he had a stomach ache and it got so bad that I almost
brought him here. But he said he was ok and he wanted
to sleep it off."

"I see."

"It's my fault."

"It's not your fault and it's not his fault, Reid. He
was scared and it's understandable."

"I promised I'd never let anything happen to him."

"You haven't let anything happen to him. You have a
lot to be encouraged by. You said he regurgitated
twice, correct?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. It's a sign that his body was still able
to try and get rid of the toxins on it's own. We were
able to remove the damaged tissue before it started to
deteriorate and that's good too. Don't blame yourself,
Reid. You saved his life." The tone in her voice was
so assured that I couldn't argue. All I could do was
sit there and rub my eyes, trying to come to grips
with everything that had happened in the last ten
hours and it was a lot to deal with.

"What if he lives?" I asked.

"If he lives, he has an excellent chance of full
recovery. Personally, Reid, I've seen people who have
suffered worse cases of appendicitis come back and
recover. Zac is a very healthy young man and his body
hasn't suffered any trauma, other than a broken nose
and occasional airsickness. You have a lot to be
positive about."

"I mean... if it goes into his brain, is there a chance
he could survive?" I felt like I was betraying Zac
just by asking.

"Yes, there is a chance."

"What would happen then?"

Dr. Rios rubbed her hands together, "Well... Zac could
suffer brain damage."

"How much?"

"There's no way to tell. It could be anywhere from
minor to severe. He could have anywhere from some
minor to moderate learning dissabilities to severe
mental retardation--"

"Ok! Thanks! That's enough positive thinking for now!"

"Reid, I won't lie to you. Brain damage could be a
possibility, but Zac does have a good chance of coming
out of this just fine. What you need to do is remember
that if you hadn't brought him here, he would have
died. He would be dead right now if not for you. If
you start blaming yourself, this will be much harder
than it has to and right now, Zac needs you to be
strong."

"I can try."

"Sometimes that's all we can do," She stood up, "Would
you like to see him?"

Part of me didn't. Then seconds later, that horrible
feeling of guilt began to swell in my stomach and I
began to berate myself. Why didn't you insit?! He
might have brain damage! You stupid son of a bitch! I
buried my face in my hands and rubbed my face several
times before looking back up at the doctor, "Let's
go."

She smiled and bent down and removed the IV from my
arm and patched it up with a bandaid before helping me
to my feet. She led me out the swinging steel doors of
the nurses station and into a small room where I was
told to shower and change into clean clothes. Washing
myself quickly but thuroughly, I pulled on the clean
clothes and ran my fingers through my still damp hair.
Dr. Rios met me outside the room and we made our way
down the hall, past several closed doors which held
the other patients. It smelled just like every other
hospital I had ever been in... just like when my
neighbor took me to the hospital after my dad hit me
with a brick. The scent of sterility. As I walked, I
looked down at the floor and idly gazed at the
checkerboard pattern of the tiling and how the
flourescent light bounced off of it.

Eventually, after turning a corner or two, we reached
the door where two uniformed agents were standing on
either side. Dr. Rios explained that I was Zac's
"special friend" and they opened the door for me. I
had to take a long, deep breath and close my eyes
before walking into the room and from somewhere, I
felt Dr. Rios pat me gently on the back before I
walked in.

I stepped into the cool darkness of the hospital and
room and looked at the bed where Zac lay. There was a
single, soft yellow bedside lamp and it just barely
illuminated the room enough for me to see a door to
the bathroom and a small chair beside the bed. I
slowly approached the bed like I was approaching a
wild animal and I sat down in the chair.

Zac was covered by a light blue blanket and white
sheet up to his stomach while his left arm was still
under the covers. His right hand was laying limp by
his side and a small, white medical tag was wrapped
around his wrist while the rest of him was covered by
a flimsy white hospital gown. His head was laying to
the side and his hair was tied back in a limp ponytail
and my stomach began to cramp when I saw the large
bandage that stood out under the gown. Looking behind
me, I leaned in and kissed Zac gently on the forehead
and his skin felt only lukewarm. I stood over him and
stroked the top of his head softly and looked down at
his expressionless face, looking yellow and lifeless
in the light of the bedside lamp.

The steady beep of the heart monitor and the slight
movement of his chest were the only things that
suggested any life was left inside him. My breath was
shaky as I ran the backs of my fingers down Zac's
cheek and searched for some sign of life or
recognition... but none came. At that point, tears were
inevitable but for some reason, nothing came out. I
was all out of tears and maybe, somewhere deep inside,
I knew that crying and sobbing like a deathbed widow
was not going to help him.

My legs were incredibly stiff as I lowered myself back
into the chair and rested my forehead against the
steel handle of the bed. Reaching up, I took Zac's
hand into mine and squeezed it softly, hoping that
wherever he was, he felt it and knew that I was there
for him. His hand, like his forehead, was lukewarm and
slightly damp and I leaned in and kissed the back of
his hand and held it against my forehead.

"Zac," My voice was barely a croaking wheeze, "Please
come back to me."

To be continued...