Date: Fri, 17 Nov 2000 17:54:27 -0800 (PST)
From: Reid <saboteur_98155@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Compound- Chapter 9 (gay male/celebrity)

=DISCLAIMER=
This story is meant to imply nothing about the
sexuality of the real people involved. Anything
mentioned from this point on is purely fictional and
not meant in any way but the highest regard.

The lyrics used within are not meant to imply anything
about the individual preferences, practices, or
lifestyle choices any of the musical artists mentioned.
The lyrics are not used for any personal monetary
profit...

Thank you for the feedback... all two of you. But in
all seriousness, if you enjoy the story then I'm glad
regardless of if you contact me.

If you have any objections to my writing, then why in
the name of Jesus are you reading this? I know some of
you might like Hanson but I don't buy the whole
"I didn't know it was a GAY STORY!" defense. So shut
up and don't send me any more hate mail you stupid,
obesessed little Christian girls.

The mentions of previous works of gay fan fiction are
meant in the utmost respect...

Comments, Suggestions, and Criticisms can be sent to
saboteur_98155@yahoo.com

I can be reached on ICQ at 70639912...

Enjoy!




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||  The Compound- Chapter 9                         ||
||  By Reid                                         ||
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	How the hell was I going to tell him? My mind and conscience wrestled with
whether or not I should tell Devon that Taylor was going to be coming into our
sector. Part of me said that it wasn't my business and that Devon would find
out soon enough, but another part of me felt like it owed him in some way. Like
it was an obligation for me to tell him because it was something he had asked
about specifically. It was a tough call and one that I didn't envy myself for
having to make and to top it all off, the whole situation was so damn surreal
that there was no way I could try to think logically about it. It was one of
those rare "wild card" things that you get maybe once in your lifetime and
there I was, dealing with my second in the space of about four months.

	Devon wasn't the only person I was thinking about. Part of me also was a
little worried about Zac because ever since I'd become a fan of Hanson, it
always seemed like Taylor was always there and taking what should have been
Zac's "special moment". I wouldn't really go out on a limb and call this whole
thing a "special moment" but it was definitely something that had to be
considered. My sense of responsibility towards Zac had been kicking in and I'd
kept a close eye on him to make sure he wasn't feeling indignant or angry about
it. Another part of me felt some responsibility towards Taylor to make sure he
didn't feel like he'd made the biggest mistake of his life by coming out. It
wouldn't be too good if he ended up getting shipped off to a place where he'd
have to stare down his younger brother's hate and resentment for the immediate
future. Even though I hadn't met Taylor, from what Zac had told me, he'd been a
wonderful older brother and didn't deserve to be miserable for being himself.
None of us did.

	Fortunately, Zac didn't seem the least bit angry. He didn't even seem
irritated. The kid actually seemed excited and when I put myself in his shoes,
it was understandable and it was actually kind of satisfying to see. But of
course, after all the stuff my brothers and sister and I did to one another,
anything short of Zac being totally indifferent to Taylor would be refreshing.
Another part of me was glad that Zac would be able to feel the security of
having someone he knew so well be so close to him. From everything he'd said
about Taylor, the two of them, let alone their whole family, sounded so close
and I shuddered at what it must have been like to lose Zac so suddenly. Even
when I thought about the good points of having Taylor there with us, my soul
hurt for their parents and how hard it had to be and the hurt was made even
worse by the fact that I'd met their mom. She had lost two of her older sons to
a government juggernaut and basically, she couldn't dispute it. It only
magnified how viciously unfair the whole situation was when you looked at its
smoldering core.

	Finding out that Taylor was being brought in had started a chain reaction
inside me that made me confront many of the feelings I'd felt towards the whole
compound system but had stomped down in order to make Zac feel welcome.
Thinking of what it must have been like for the Hanson family made me think
about how all the families that weren't like mine must have felt. Families
where the parents actually cared about their kids and how painful it had to be
for them to say goodbye. To say goodbye to their sons and grandsons and nephews
and cousins. The general disgust for how quick and painful the good-byes were
at the airports and the uncertainty about where their loved ones were going.

It made me think of a movie I'd seen a long time ago when I'd first moved out
of my parents house and had been renting movies because cable TV had been too
expensive. Alone In The Dark. It was a movie starring Jack Palance, Martin
Landau, and the nerdy guy from the A-Team and the plot was flimsy as can be:
four lunatics escape from a institution during a blackout and torment their
doctor. They went on a rampage and several dead bodies later, the movie ended
with Jack Palance getting ready to kill the doctor and his family but at the
last second, the power came back on and he saw that they hadn't done anything
to him. The premise of the film was what struck me because if it happened in
real life, most people in that position would run back into bed and wait for
their next medication. I would have bet a million dollars that if some security
breach in the compound let us all out, the community back on the main land
would be shitting bricks with fear that we'd storm their houses and rape them
and their children. The majority of us wouldn't even think of doing that. We'd
go see a Barbara Streisand movie and talk about "pizazz".

But if that happened to me, Zac and I would be on a makeshift raft headed for a
tropical island.

=3 Days until arrival...=

	"Why do I have to call him 'Taybear'? I thought he hated being called that." I
asked as I put away our clean laundry.

	"Well, he does. But everyone calls him it anyway."

	Can't argue with that logic, I thought to myself as I closed to sock drawer.
We were three days away from Taylor's arrival and Keri had gone to great
lengths to make sure the news wouldn't be spread around like herpes in our
sector. Zac had done an excellent job of keeping it quiet since we were the
only two non-administrative people who had been given the good news. Keri had
moved in a bigger dresser and told us we'd be getting an extra fifteen minutes
of hot water in the morning for showers, which was kind of nice. She had also
pulled some strings and arranged for us to use one of the vacant rooms near the
cafeteria to eat in so that Taylor and Zac and I could do so in peace. Maybe it
won't be too bad, said I.

	Devon and I had seen each other a few times and since Zac was taken, he had
become the most eligible single guy in our sector. But he didn't attach himself
to anyone, which I respected. Two days after we found out and four days until
Taylor's arrival, while Zac was at his tutoring session, Devon and I went for a
walk in the aboretum among the tropic lilies and greenery. The place was really
impressive as the skylight gave us an astonishing view of the cloudless blue
sky. The majority of the area was below sea level and the doors leading into it
were on the highest level with assorted concrete paths leading down into the
jungle-like bottom. One of the things I enjoyed about the place was the clearly
labeled "jungle levels" that we got a first hand view of as we went down. There
wasn't any actual animal wildlife save for a few butterflies and lizards, which
were closely monitored for our safety, but it didn't take much away from the
experience. All the exotic flowers and the huge waterfall that went from the
top level down nearly 300 feet were more than enough to make up for it.

	"Wow..." He said softly, as we walked in.

	"It's nice, huh? It's long-ass walk down, however." I said and picked up one
of the large leaves that had fallen on the path.

	"That's cool..." He said, in awe of the waterfall.

	"Don't listen too closely. If we get a mile into the walk down and you need to
pee, you're gonna be shit outta luck. There aren't any bathrooms until we get
to the bottom. But it's worth the walk." I tossed the leaf into the arroyo of
the jungle.

	He nodded and we kept walking down the path, and I smiled at Devon's genuine
wonder at the beauty of the place. It made me think of when I brought Zac there
for the first time and how he'd been even more in awe of it. When we got to the
bottom, Zac had stuck his hand in the waterfall and his fingers smelled like
algae for almost a week, which was especially enjoyable for me. Devon was in
his own little world of amazement and it left me to just enjoy the sweet smell
and balmy atmosphere, and smile at the couples walking in the other direction
holding hands and/or kissing. Everytime I saw one doing so, it made me think of
Zac and a dopey smile came to my face and my cheeks felt hot. I was in love, no
doubt about it.

	Eventually, we reached the balcony, which was the halfway point to the bottom.
In the damp heat, Devon was breathing heavily and we both sat down on one of
the green steel benches.

	"So when were you going to tell me that Taylor is coming here?" He said.

	"Uh... wait... how did you know?" I knew that I'd be better off talking to him
honestly.

	"I heard one of the agents talking about how you three would be eating in a
private room."

	"I'm sorry." I didn't know what to say.

	"It's all right. Just promise me one thing?"

	"What's that?"

	Devon leaned forward on his knees and thought for a second, "Don't introduce
him to me. If we're gonna meet, just let it happen naturally. He's in my math
and science tutoring group."

	"Huh? How did you find that out?" I was genuinely shocked because that was
classified information.

	"I ate out the teacher."

	"What?!"

	"I'm just kidding," He laughed, "They posted it a few days ago. That reminds
me, what are you and Zac going to do with his two week break?"

	We stood up and continued down the path, "I don't know. Probably hang out in
the courtyard or here. Help Taylor get adjusted to the place. Nothing too
exciting."

	He nodded and ran his hand along the rail as we walked in silence. It wasn't
like Devon was unattractive or that he was a bad guy but something about me
just wouldn't look at him like that. Zac had so completely taken control of my
affections that even another famous, good looking teen idol couldn't steal my
attentions away, and it made me feel better about Taylor coming in. It made my
feelings for Zac seem secure that my sense of affection couldn't be taken away.
But it was another of my past issues that needed to be proven to be wrong and
I'd come to accept the process for what it was.

	My calves started to burn as we reached the bottom in the nick of time, and
the small grass lawn at the bottom was fairly empty. Devon laid down on his
back and I sat beside him as we looked up at the top of the waterfall,
recovering from the long hike and feeling a sense of satisfaction at our trek.
Looking at the gushing water brought back memories of when my boss had gotten
us a job repairing a reef in Costa Rica, which was only about 200 miles away
from where I sat at that moment. The spectacle of the simulated jungle reaching
up into the high expanse of the glassed in building was a hell of a sight. It
was something that most people back in the real world would never see and the
notion made me smile with its irony. But then again... the whole concept of our
situation was ironic. It was to laugh.

	My eyes focused on smaller points on the walls of the jungle and my mind got
lost in it's thoughts as I inhaled the thick air of the place. After a minute
or so, I heard a snore next to me and saw that Devon had curled up and fallen
asleep on the grass, and I noticed how peaceful he looked when he slept. It was
something I'd noticed about Zac too. The look of peace and serenity and
calmness that so rarely shone through in the life of a gay man. Even though
he'd never have it admitted to him, sometimes I couldn't resist but wake up
early and watch Zac sleep and smile at the way he would cuddle with the pillow
and nuzzle it occasionally. It was yet another weird, wild thing Zac had done
to me.

	"Yo? Reid?" Zac said, poking me in the waist with his bare foot and snapping
me out of the memory.

	"Huh?" I said, shutting the sock drawer but not being so lucky as to not need
to cram one of Zac's socks out of the way of the drawer.

	"You OK?" He said and sat up, inspecting his big toe carefully.

	"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking." I sighed and sat down next to him.

	"What about?" He finished with his toe and dusted his hands off before
settling in next to me and laying his head on my shoulder.

	"Should we leave Taylor alone when he gets here? I mean, should we try and
help him find someone real quickly?"

	"Well... after he accepts that he can't have you, he'll probably be on the hunt.
He's been lonely for all his life and now that he has the chance to find a
boyfriend, he might go right for it. But I dunno. He might be really picky. He
is fairly sought after property." Zac said and spotted something else on his
foot and went after it.

	I laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, "It's weird because I have
loyalty to someone I've met but I also have loyalty to someone I've never met
but I feel like I know. On one hand, Devon really wants to get to know Taylor
but on the other hand, I feel like I should make sure he's comfortable."

	"Tay will be fine. He's dorky enough that when guys meet him and see him
personally, a huge percentage is gonna get scared away. The ones who stick
around and want to get to know him will be cool. And I've known him longer than
you have and I trust his judgment. He isn't a whore or anything." Zac said,
picking between his toes.

	"I know. I can tell yours is a quality familiar. Mindless sex isn't
encouraged." I sighed.

	"Well... I don't know about that," Zac said and laid down next to me on his
stomach, "Mindless sex is pretty common but mindless sex with different people
isn't cool. I mean... eight kids. Come on?"

	"Mmmm... so I guess unstoppable horniness is a better word for it?" I said and
slid over and kissed him.

	"Oh yeah... that's definitely encouraged." He said. I pulled off and gave him an
odd look.

	He corrected himself, "Well, its encouraged but only by means of heredity. We
don't actually talk about it."

	"Well, that's OK. I've accepted that you come from horny, sex-craving stock."
I said and we kissed again.

	"Yep. And all this time, people thought 'music' was our family talent. Really,
it's masturbation and mind blowing orgasms." He laughed softly.

	"But not with each other?" I said, and he gave me a disgusted look.

	"No, Reid. I may be crazy but I'm not like... sick." He rolled me onto my back
and laid on top of me.

	I smiled and kissed him on the chin, "You're an odd young man."

	Zac smiled then got serious, "I love you, Reid... never forget that."

	"I love you too, Zac. And I know you'll never let me forget THAT."

=Therapy...=

	When Keri had heard that I was making Zac and honest woman, she had brought up
the possibility of us both talking to a psychologist to make sure there weren't
any more dirty secrets. Fate had it that two days before Taylor's arrival, my
appointment with one Dr. Catherine Parker would be at 8:00pm and it meant that
Zac and I would be given the opportunity to eat our dinner early. It was pretty
swank treatment and something that made me wince a little. But oh well. There
was a lot of wisdom in having us both talk to this woman and it seemed like a
good, cleansing session would help there be no more little secrets that could
jump out and harm the relationship. And at that point, it wasn't a relationship
that my tender psyche could handle having harmed.

	Dr. Parker came by our room the morning before and introduced herself, and
immediately, she put me at ease with her personality. She seemed really nice
and genuinely wanted to help us in any way she could. Apparently, she had grown
up in a similar situation to mine as her father had ignored her since she had
five brothers who got most of the attention. She was one of those people that
had a little something in common with everyone and put it to good use. Zac was
won over pretty quick by her appreciation of his variety of funny voices and
corny jokes and he seemed to trust her immediately, and seeing him do so helped
me believe that she wasn't out to do damage. I wasn't ready to trust her yet...
hell; it had taken me almost four months to learn to trust Zac.

	She did seem pretty nice. She was impressed at my music collection and related
an amusing story of attending a Pink Floyd concert in Mexico City where a
meteor shower had interrupted "Learning to Fly". My favorite Floyd song. And
when I said so, she had enough candor to say that it was probably her third
favorite behind "Comfortably Numb" and "Young Lust", both from The Wall. She
was also quite a fan of retro music, including Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin,
and Buddy Holly, which immediately appealed to Zac. It was a nice "get to know
each other" session and when she left, I wasn't feeling as nervous as I
normally would have been.

	After dinner and walking Zac to the room like a good gentleman, he kissed me
at the door and licked the tip of my nose before sending me off to the
appointment with a slap on the ass. I went away feeling comfortable since Keri
was going to come by and keep him company while I was gone. The first few steps
away from the door felt a little weird since I was alone for one of the first
times, but it was all right. It may sound corny, but part of me was going to be
left behind in the little session I was going to. It was going to help me gain
a deeper understanding of myself.

Dr. Parker was meeting me in the DB sector conference room and it was a pretty
good walk that took me by the room where my art classes met and through the
corridor that offered a lovely view of the Atlantic Ocean outside the compound.
The halls were pretty empty except for a few stragglers and the whole "late
night" crowd that hung out in the corners. From the looks of things, the
problem that Keri was looking into had been repaired and all was operational
but there was still a little bite in the air that I couldn't quite ignore.

	I arrived at the room and knocked on the door tentatively.

	"Come on in." I heard her say and I walked in. She offered her hand and I
shook it, impressed at her grip.

	"Have a seat." She said, pointing to a chair at the head of the table. The
room was white and pretty sterile because it was normally used for
administrative business. The table was a long, blue lined oak deal and she sat
to my right, and I noticed her yellow pad which would be used for notes to
determine if I was insane. Dr. Parker was a rather proper person and I promised
myself to not judge her on it since I hadn't seen a cross around her neck or
any other evidence that she was going to try and talk us out of being gay. Hey,
she'd brought a tray of real soda to help things be a little friendlier so she
couldn't be all-bad.

	"So... where so we start?" I said and opened my first authentic Pepsi in a long
time.

	"Wherever you would like," She leaned forward and started a small recorder;
"I'm going to record our conversation unless you don't want to. It's fine
either way."

	"Not a problem." I really appreciated her making it clear that it wasn't a big
deal, "But I don't have any clue what to talk about. I mean, even though I
could use it, I've never talked to a psychologist."

	"It won't be as bad as you think. I'm just here to make sure you and Zac will
make each other as happy as possible"

	"My definition of 'possible' has changed so much over the past few months." I
sighed.

	"Tell me about it."

	"Well... let's see. My life has always been based on doing the exact minimum to
ensure that I wouldn't have to feel pain. So my whole concept of something
being 'possible' was based on it being as un-painful as I can make sure. And it
was always like that right up until I met Zac. He's changed almost every
emotional perception I have. Happiness and joy and everything like that... he's
completely redefined it for me."

	"What happened to make you define it otherwise in the first place?"

	"My parents. They raised me to feel inadequate in every possible way."

	"How did they make you feel that way?" She said and I tried to ignore the
writing on the pad.

	"I guess from the minute I was born, I was a disappointment. It was all too
fitting that I was gay and it gave them both a concrete, identifiable reason to
shut me out of my family."

	"What did they do to shut you out?"

	"Well, my mom ignored me. She basically pretended like I didn't exist for the
most part and only dealt with me in the most meager of terms from then on. When
I came out of the closet, she was indifferent. She never really did any of the
hard-core abusing. IT was just her job to go along with the inventive story
about where the injuries came from."

	"They came from your dad."

	"Yeah. My dad was the one who took care of the abusing. But he wasn't an
alcoholic or manic-depressive. He really didn't have it that bad growing up. He
was raised in the house he raised me and my siblings in and his parents, my
grandparents, were decent people and he inherited their winemaking business. I
guess he was just a lunatic who married another lunatic and subjected his kids
to his rage."

	"What did he do?"

	"To me or my siblings?"

	"To your siblings, first."

	"Well, he made my sister dress like a schoolmarm until she was old enough to
run away from home. He made my younger brothers live like they were in a
military institution. My mom just sat back and let him do it all. I guess in a
low of ways she was more scared of him than we were."

	"What did he do to you?"

	I took a deep breath, "It's a long and gruesome story."

	"I can handle it."

	"He abused me. Physically and emotionally with a whole slew of weapons. He
threw a brick at me and damaged my eye permanently, he hit me with a curtain
rod," I pointed to my scar, "He stabbed me with a corkscrew when I was 10 for
crying at a Care Bears tape. I had to have my spleen taken out because of it
and my parents told the doctor I'd fallen off the countertop. The weird thing
about that is when they were at the hospital, they put on this act that they
really cared and were worried and it felt good to me. It felt like even though
they were pretending... they cared about me."

	"Did you feel deprived of care growing up?" She asked and I was put at ease by
her remaining calm.

	"Yeah. I had friends but I kept to myself because I didn't think anyone liked
me. I grew up never knowing what it felt like to be cared about. I never felt
like anyone needed me or wanted me around and it was hell. And this was all
before my 12th birthday so it made a pretty lasting impression on me."

	"I can understand how."

	"I never felt like anyone cared. It hurt." I said, and I wasn't crying because
I didn't have any tears left for it.

	"Did you act out?"

	"Yeah, of course. I misbehaved in school and got in trouble because 'care' to
me didn't mean good or bad. The school threatened to send me away and all that
but they couldn't do it without my parents permission but they didn't care
enough to even go meet with the principal."

	"So what happened eventually?"

	"I just barely graduated high school and moved away to work. Then I came here
because my dad finally cared enough to punish me for being gay and told the
government."

	"I see."

	"So I have issues with care."

	"Yes but you're much better off than most who have been in your situation.
I've seen abused children who exhibit a myriad of physical and mental
dysfunctions but you seem surprisingly upright."

	"I have my friends and my boss to thank for that. All those nights that I
didn't want to go home and gamble on either being ignored or beaten, they let
me stay at their house and stuff. I owe each of them so much but it's almost
impossible for me to pay it back and it's so frustrating." I said and rattled
my empty Pepsi can.

	"So you feel obligated to them?"

	"Yes, I do. Like I owe them but can't pay it back. So I try to do it in
trade."

	"Do you pay out that obligation with Zac?"

	"Yeah... I guess I do. I feel kinda like all their good deeds went towards
something and up until I met Zac, I never knew what that something was. Now I
know that it's Zac. All the karma brought him to me and I feel kinda like I can
pay them back by making the most of my shot at happiness."

	"Do you feel like Zac is your only shot at happiness?"

	"I guess not. But I sure don't want to find out one way or the other. He's my
best and most fulfilling shot so far and the best that I could ever imagine.
But I don't ever want to learn. Even if it means giving up something even
better which I don't think is possible." I said and it felt very liberating to
get all the thoughts out in the open.

	"Do you ever feel responsible for him?"

	"What do you mean? Like as a parent?"

	"Not really. Do you feel responsible for his safety and well being?"

	"Of course. It's always something I think about when I'm out with him. But it
isn't an obsession."

	"That's good."

	"Sometimes I think that I might feel an extra amount because I'm trying so
hard to make up for the lack of it with me personally. But I don't let it make
our happy times any less happy. I don't feel like a parent. Maybe like a mentor
but not to any great extent."

	"I have one more question," She said as he put the notepad in her briefcase,
"If that's all right with you?"

	"Go ahead."

	"Are you scared of committing yourself to Zac?"

	"No, I'm not. I have to learn how to accept that he's willing to commit
himself to me. But it's not fear. I guess I'm learning all these inter-personal
relationship things in four months that people learn gradually over the course
of their life. Sort of a crash course in humanity. But no. I'm not scared of
the commitment. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

	"All right. You are free to go." She sat back and smiled.

	"What's you professional opinion?" I asked as I stood up.

	"You seem to be in good shape. Like you said, you are learning all these
things in short order but from what I've seen of and read about Zac, he's the
ideal person to teach you. He's at an age where he's able to be mature but
still recall these feelings from youth. His life experiences and emotional
make-up are very unique in that he's had to grow up but he still retains quite
a bit of innocence. In my personal opinion, he's at an age where if you're
going to learn these things, he's the best teacher you could have."

	"Wow..." I said, digesting her words.

	"After I talk to him, I may have to adjust my diagnosis but I doubt that will
happen. I'm a pretty good judge of people."

	"What am I? In your personal diagnosis."

	"Honestly, you're a damn strong young man who has retained a huge amount of
personal strength despite horrifying odds. It's a wonder that you aren't in a
maximum-security prison for felons and the fact that you're able to remain so
open to love and emotion is truly remarkable. You're stronger and more stable
than %99 of the people who are 'protected' from you."

	I blushed in spite of myself, "Well, thanks. That's a huge compliment."

	"Yes, it is. I've seen people who came out on the other, much uglier end. I
think it's a shame that you're stuck here instead of making a valid
contribution to society." She smiled.

	"Yeah... I've got to get back. Zac is probably bouncing off the walls."

	"All right. I'll see him tomorrow. Take care of yourself, Reid."

	"I will. Thanks." I said and walked out the door.

	The walk back to the room was quiet and solitary, and I was really glad. It
gave me some time to think about all the stuff that had come pouring out of me
and there were some things I hadn't confronted for a long time. The whole
corkscrew thing and all the stuff with my mom were elements of my childhood
that I'd pushed down for many many years and when it came right out, it was
scary. It was kind of like throwing up when you feel really bad just before and
during it, but afterwards, you feel better. You feel cleaned out and you
definitely don't feel as toxicated. Up until I'd told those things to Dr.
Parker, no one had really heard all the facts about it and that included Zac,
which made me feel a little bad.

	In my mind, I had come up with a lot of justifications for not telling Zac
about all the horrors of my youth. I didn't want him to leave me, I didn't want
to scare him, I didn't want to put him in an awkward position with people he'd
never met, I didn't want him to feel like I was delicate or needed to be tip
toed around. In short, I didn't want him to feel like a caregiver or some hand
holder to a 20-year-old basket case with a list of issues longer than his arm.
Zac didn't need it and if not putting him in that position meant being very
prudent with what I told him. It already got him mad enough when I'd mention
the milder things my dad had done, let alone the big things.

	But I was in the process of letting it all go. The more time I spent with Zac
and the more time I spent with guys who understood me and where I was coming
from, the less I needed to hang onto the past. The more good times I had meant
that I had less idle time to worry about the bad things that had happened to me
and that in turn fueled my determination to prove it all wrong. It made me even
more dogged in my quest to show my parents that being gay wasn't a death curse.
It was going to be my ticket to a life of unending happiness and enjoyment. And
it was going to be my job to make sure that it was the same for Zac.

=11:00pm...=

	The hallway was dark and only the soft guiding lights around the ceiling were
on as I found my way back to the hallway of our sector. The only sounds were
occasional gasps and moans of pleasure from the darkness and all I could do was
shake my head and ignore it, thinking only about seeing Zac again. It was
crazy. I had only been away from Zac for a few hours and I already missed him
and knew it would take an hour easily of cuddling and sappy baby talk to make
up for it. Baby talk was another element that I had shunned until Zac had
introduced it and what once sickened me to no end now made my heart nearly
melt.

	As I turned the corner, down the hall I noticed that the door to Brandon's
room was open slightly and for a moment, I wondered if he was OK. He probably
just forgot to close to door, I told myself and shrugged as my eyes rested on
the soft red glow of our rooms ID pad. I smiled and got a fluttery feeling in
my stomach every time I saw mine and Zac's name nestled together and looking oh
so cozy. It was just one of those little satisfying things that comes with a
relationship... and it was probably the most satisfying thing in it's own
material way. It felt legitimizing.

	Going in the door extra careful, I felt my way to the bed like a raccoon and
slowly slid my hand up the blanket until I felt the big warm lump of Zac in the
bed. I chuckled softly in the dark at the way his body cocooned under the
covers like a larva with only the top of his head sticking out. Under my palm,
I could feel him breathing and I took care sitting down so I wouldn't crush one
of his tender arms or legs or his tender face under my ass when I sat down.
Something in me felt incredibly peaceful as my shoes and socks came off and
fell to the floor and made a soft thump.

When I pulled back the covers, the mixed scent of heat and ardent day old
unwashed teen body made my nose wrinkle slightly and I slid in next to him and
almost immediately, his warm mass was on mine. In his snooze, he wrapped his
arms around my neck and snuggled up to me and I let out a shiver of pure
contentment and comfort. He murmured in his sleep and nuzzled my neck and his
soft hair brushed my cheek, tickling me slightly as I pulled the blankets up to
his chin.

	It didn't take me long to fall asleep. That shouldn't come as a surprise.

=2 Days Until Arrival...=

	The secret didn't say secret for very long. After one day, the info of
"T.Hanson" being posted in a small 8X10 paper on the door of a tutoring room
had spread all over the compound. It was becoming a widely talked about event,
but as no surprise, everyone in the sector agreed to be cool and let Taylor get
settled before trying to hit on him or anything of the sort. Just some
whispering and pointing for the first few days and it would all be fine. I was
expecting it to be like what had happened with Zac except on a much larger,
more dedicated scale since if Zac were considered a prize, Taylor would be
considered winning the lottery. But it wasn't my place to comment on it and I
wasn't about to unless Zac wanted to hear what I thought. And he did. And I
assured him it was cool with me which made him happy.

	I had also been meeting with Keri to discuss the details of Zac's and my
upcoming nuptuals. Early on, I said no to any kind of fancy dressing up which
she reluctantly agreed to but in order to not make her feel bad, I had to agree
to a private professionally catered dinner for Zac and me. It wasn't that bad
of a compromise, really. Zac had also insisted that we each write our own vows,
which sounded a lot less good to me than it did to him, who wrote songs for a
living. I'd decided it would be the perfect place for me to show my love to him
by expressing my feelings open and honestly. I was looking forward to but kind
of dreading what Zac would say. Only dreading it because I knew that it would
be the emotional equivalent of those "I'm telling my parents what they mean to
me" specials that Oprah used to do when she was entertaining. I was going to
cry and feel so much love it would nearly make me burst.

	Keri had also arranged for an ordained minister to come in and perform the
ceremony Then, in a move that nearly brought me to tears, had two
professionally made wedding rings brought in just for Zac and I. She had also
wanted flowers but there was no way in hell I was agreeing to it and she let it
slide if I agreed to let her be there. There really wasn't any way I could
argue with it after she showed me the rings and really, I wanted her there. She
had been my surrogate mother for so long it wouldn't feel right to exclude her
and not let her take pictures of sniffle loudly during the ceremony.

	The wedding, or "ceremony" as I called it, would be taking place two days
after Taylor arrived. Really, I was looking forward to meeting him and seeing
up close the member of Hanson that had once been called "a real life young rock
star for the new millennium". Part of me had prepared for him being an arrogant
bastard with no connection to reality, but Zac had assured me that he was quite
the opposite and I would get along well with him. Keri had helped us move in a
second desk and she had brought by several different uniforms in several sizes
and told us that he could try the different outfits on until he found one that
allowed him the maximum comfort.

Because of the desk, Zac and I had to push the two beds over into the corner by
the dresser and it ended up that two thirds of the bed was blocked off by Zac's
desk. It meant that the person sleeping on the far right of the bed would have
to move during the night if anyone needed to take a leak. We decided that for
the first few nights, Zac would sleep in the middle next to Taylor, who would
get the free side in case he needed to use the bathroom, and poor Reid would be
humping the wall. Zac and I also made the agreement to not engage in any, as he
called it "booty wop", until Taylor was settled which meant we would have to
make it count the last time that we indulged our throbbing bodily urges for one
another. Of course, then we'd have to change the sheets to make sure no
unbecoming smells were there to bother Taylor and make him uncomfortable. Yet
again, Zac was surprising me with how considerate he was and how concerned he
was with Taylor's comfort and well being in the crucial first few days of his
residence.

	"Ugh!" Zac groaned as he collapsed on the bed, sweaty and exhausted after
moving Taylor's desk over to accommodate the nightstand, "That fruity bastard
had better appreciate our hard work."

	"I'm sure he will." I plopped down next to him.

	"He'd better not leave any of his sweaty shirts on my face in the morning like
he used to."

	I closed my eyes and shook my head, "You gotta go soon, stinky."

	Zac groaned again and sat up heavily, "You said she's cool, right?"

	"You met her. Besides, she's very cool. She helped me a lot."

	"If you trust her, she's cool." Zac said and there was a knock at the door.

	"Who is it?" Zac said in his faux deep lumberjack voice.

	"Agt. Gurion. I'm taking Zac to meet Dr. Parker." Said a voice from behind the
door.

	Zac leapt up and pulled open the door to reveal probably the most attractive
woman I'd ever seen. She looked to be about 5'8" and had strawberry blond hair
pulled into a tight ponytail and a nice, fertile bust. She had slightly dark,
non-Caucasian features and looked like she could have stepped off the page of
some fitness magazine. Hell, she could have posed in Playboy. If I were
straight, I would have had an erection the size of Rhode Island at that point...
but it was just like looking at a nice painting. She walked in and smiled, and
even in my raging homosexuality, she did have a nice smile. When she came in
far enough, Zac made a starlet face and I had to fight to keep form laughing.

	"Hi!" She said in a perky voice, "Are you Zac?"

	"Yeah... obviously a big fan." Zac said and shook her hand.

	"I just have to ask and make sure," She turned to me, "And you're Reid?

	"Yeah," I said and shook her hand.

Are you ready to go?" She said to Zac.

	"Sure. Are you ready to throw down your life for me?" Zac said as he pulled
his nicer shoes on.

	"That I am. I didn't spent eight years in the Mossad for nothing." She said.

	"Wow... the Israeli secret service." I said as I sat up, "Did you kill anyone?"

	"Nope. Very little of the action in the Mossad is killing. More like bodyguard
work." She said and I was really fascinated.

	"Wow... that's cool. Are you Israeli born?"

	"Yes. I was born in Jerusalem. I went to college at Georgetown but went back
after I graduated."

"Sweet. What sector do you work on?"

	"I just transferred from sector G. I did mostly retrieval work before that."

	"So are you on D now?"

	"Basically, yeah. I'd like to do retrieval again, even though I hate that word
for it."

	Our interesting conversation was interrupted by a loud dramatic snore from Zac
who didn't see the appeal in talking about work assignments and foreign
government SWAT teams. Agt. Gurion smiled and helped Zac up off the bed.

"Miss me." He said it several times between kisses.

Zac showed what a good boy he actually was by holding the door open for her. He
gave me one last questioning look to make sure I wasn't feeling any "bisexual
tendencies" which I shook my head at and made him smile as the door closed.
After laughing for a few seconds and remembering her name, I got up off the bed
and turned off Zac's desk lamp. Earlier in the day, Keri had told me that she
and Dr. Rios were playing poker that night and invited me to play. Having
nothing better to do, I agreed and once things were in order in the room, I
headed out the door to Keri's room down the hall.

When I went out into the hallway, I noticed Brandon's door was still open. Not
sure if I should check on him, I decided that it would be best to leave him to
his privacy and head on to Keri's room. The hallways were quieting down for the
night and it was a much shorter walk than it was to the appointment with Dr.
Parker. Along the way, I caught a glimpse of Jake sitting on the stairs and it
was a tough call, but I decided to leave him alone. Whatever he was working
through, he didn't need my stumbling over words to make it worse. It was
something I knew about myself and it was something I'd learned through most of
my relationships.

Keri's room was set back slightly in the hallway and when I knocked on the
heavy door; there was no answer.

"Keri?" I called and stepped into the room, surprised that the door was
unlocked.

The sector heads were given fairly nice apartment style settings with a living
room, kitchenette, bathroom, and bedroom. From what I'd heard, most were very
protective of their rooms but Keri had made it clear that she was always
available for anyone who needed her. She had decorated her living room with
pictures of snow-covered mountains and quiet forests in the middle of winter.
Not wanting to disturb anything, I walked softly to the bathroom door and
looked in. Empty. No one was there.

Then I heard it. It was an unmistakable sound that could only mean someone was
on the receiving end of an incredible sexual deed. Since the voice was
obviously feminine, nothing sprung up in my shorts and with an almost morbid
curiosity, I walked towards the door of the bedroom that was slightly ajar.
When I got closer, I could hear the springs of the bed squeaking.

"Keri?" I said, slightly louder but I wasn't heard.

I turned to leave, but my foot caught on the carpet and my hand went out to
catch myself and I ended up pushing the door wide open. My eyes went to the bed
were I saw Keri, naked from the waist up, her back arched with pleasure and her
hands under the sheets directing traffic for the moving mass between her legs.
The first thought in my head was that she was taking advantage of some poor guy
who hadn't been able to accept himself and I immediately was angry that she had
been so callous and destructive.

"Oh my GOD!" I said and backed up.

Keri heard me and her body jackknifed into a sitting position, and her eyes
opened and she immediately came down from cloud nine.

"REID! Oh Christ... we were going to play poker..." She tried to find her words as
she pulled on a shirt.

"Are you out of your mind!? You can't turn them straight, Keri! And even if you
know that, it's still pretty damn cruel!" I said in absolute awe of what I
thought was going on.

"Reid," She said quietly and sat up, "This isn't what you think."

"This isn't what I think!?"

"Reid, she's telling the truth." A familiar voice came out from under the
covers.

"Who is that?" I asked them both.

The sheets shifted and my mouth nearly hit the floor. It was Dr. Rios.

"Oh..." I said, trying to pull my foot out of my mouth.

"Reid... we're a couple."  Keri said calmly as Dr. Rios slid up onto the pillow.

"How about that... Look Keri, I'm really sorry." I said, leaning against the
frame of the door.

"It's all right. I know how this must have looked." Keri said.

"Yeah, but still... I'm sorry for doubting you. I shouldn't have ever thought
that..."

"I'm not as cute as you Reid. But I'm still desirable." Dr. Rios said as he put
on her bra under the covers.

"Uhhh..." I said, having a hard time looking at her because of the clear fluid on
her face.

Keri motioned to her and she quickly wiped it off. After a few minutes of
silence, I smiled and chuckled elaborately.

"Maybe we can take a rain check on the card game. I'll leave you guys alone." I
said and edged towards the door.

"That's fine. Bring Zac and we can play strip poker." Keri said.

"Ummm... yeah. We'll see," I turned around and added over my shoulder, "See you
guys later. Have fun."

Once I was safely out of the room, I stopped and thought for a second. It
certainly made sense in a convenience aspect because they sure weren't going to
get a guy here. Wow, I thought. Dr. Rios seemed so... straight. And then I felt
ashamed for operating under the whole stereotype deal about it and shook my
head, happy for them that they had found someone to make them happy. But then I
realized that I now had several hours to kill. Once out of the smaller hallway,
I looked around for something to catch my fancy and I noticed that Brandon's
door had closed. I was relieved to see it and strolled back to the room. Maybe
I could tease myself with anticipation for tomorrow night or something.

=11:09pm...=

	My stomach felt like it was caving in before I went from being 3/4 to 1/2
asleep and realized that Zac was straddling me and bouncing up and down. I
rubbed my eyes and yawned and sat up in bed and my lips unwittingly pressed
against his and he giggled, kissing me several times in rapid-fire succession
before rolling off. I could tell by his movement that he was pretty excited
about something and when he turned on the desk lamp on it's lowest setting, in
my still half stupor, I was taken aback by how beautiful he was. After a few
seconds of smiling dopily, he snapped me out of it.

	"Reid, I have to tell you some stuff." He said and pulled over the desk chair
and sat at the side of the bed. He was holding what looked like a small black
tape player and his hands were shaking slightly.

	"You OK?" I asked him and rubbed his leg.

	"Yeah, I'm awesome," He said, "For the past few weeks I've been trying to come
up with a way to describe how I felt about you. Like I needed a way to tell you
and not ruin by being hyper or goofy or anything."

	"Uh huh..." I yawned.

	"Seriously... everytime I tried, it came out all lame but tonight it came out
just right when I talked to that doctor. She tape recorded it and let me bring
it to you to listen." He was bouncing in his chair like he'd just had five Dr.
Peppers and an economy size box of Junior Mints.

	"Let's hear it." I said and he set the player on the nightstand and kicked off
his shoes in a hurry and climbed into bed with me, snuggling up next to me and
planting several sloppy, enthusiastic kisses on my cheek. He was like a big,
happy dog and yet again; I couldn't help but smile at it.

	"Let's talk about Reid." Dr. Parker's voice came out of the black box.

	"OK!" Zac said in response. Zac shuddered and made a sour face at the sound of
his own voice.

	"Describe-- don't tap on the table, it'll be picked up on the tape-- Describe
why you love him."

	"I love Reid because he loves me. He doesn't love some created character and
he doesn't confuse me with who I had to be on TV and stuff. He loves ME. He
loves Zachary Walker Hanson. He loves the Zac Hanson who doesn't need to be
'on' all the time. He loves that I'm sensitive and that I really love to be
close to him but he doesn't expect some joke or he doesn't think I need to talk
during the whole time to remind him. He loves that I have scars and that my
nose isn't perfect and that I'm not a skinny waif like Taylor. He loves that
I'm not Taylor. He loves me because I'm Zac. He loves that I am Zac. He loves
that I need to be cuddled and held when I'm hyper. He loves that I spent my
life differently from everyone else. He loves that I wear dark socks instead of
white ones. He loves that I'm different. He loves it and he makes me feel good
about it. He loves my voice and he loves to talk to me and really listen to me
and he loves to hear how I really feel. He loves that I love him. He loves me.
He really truly honest to God loves me. And I love him for that. And I love
that he's strong and I love that he's letting me show him how to love. I love
him for caring about me and letting me inside his heart. I love him for being
my soulmate. I love him for letting me be his soulmate because it's such an
amazing thing to let me do. Especially for him."

	Wow. Zac rested his forehead against my chin, as there was several seconds of
silence on the tape. I heard Zac sniffle and wipe his nose and I heard Dr.
Parker writing on the notepad.

	"I see." She said after what felt like an eternity.

	"If that isn't a good enough answer then I don't know what else to say to
you." Zac said and I heard him take a sip of Dr. Pepper and the inevitable soft
belch that came seconds later.

	"It's a fine answer, Zac."

	Zac reached over and turned off the tape recorder and we laid there for what
could have been an hour. No words were needed. He had rested his hand on my
chest and idly moved his fingers up and down in a pattern. The only sound was
our soft breathing and the words from the tape resonating off my heart, body,
and soul. Occasionally, Zac would rub his leg up and down against me but other
than that, he laid motionless except for fingers. He was letting me think about
what he'd said but still being close to me and holding on to me and I could
tell he needed the close contact just as much as I did. Neither of us knew who
should talk first.

	"I don't really love your dark socks but it's OK." I said and we both cracked
up.

	After we laughed, Zac gently held my chin and kissed me. And then we made
love. Long, passionate, multi-orgasmic, mind-blowing, soul touching love that
words couldn't even begin to describe. Our normally insatiable sexual appetite
was fueled by something extra that night that must have surfaced as a result of
the tape but there was no real way to be sure about it. It was one of those
feelings that we both felt but couldn't put into words and had to use actions
to express it to one another. Maybe we weren't old enough or something. But we
knew. We knew what we felt.

When we finally collapsed together, we were covered in sweat and cum and
drenched with a huge, thick, glob of pure uhhh... gaiety. We fell asleep that
night, still dazed and slightly giddy from the combined sex and heartwarming
honesty. But before we fell asleep, he said something.

	"I'm gonna play that again for my vows..." He said, his eyes glazed.

	"Only if you want to." I wheezed, placing my hand firmly over the hot, moist
skin that covered his pounding heart.

	"I want to love you forever, Reid. Please tell me you want the same..."

	"All I want is you, Zac... all I want is you..." I gasped and we rested our soaked
foreheads together.

We kissed one more time that night.

And then five minutes later, we made love again. And then we finally went to
sleep.

=The day before...=

	"Oh stop it." Jake said and tried not to look at Zac.

	"What? What am I doing?" Zac asked, looking up from a sheet of calculus
problems.

	"You're smiling like a doof and it's really getting sickening." Jake said and
even though in some weird alternate universe, he liked Reid but the big, goofy
grin on Zac's face was starting to really send Jake's already strained heart
into critical condition.

	"Oh... well, sorry..." Zac said and for a few fleeting seconds, he was actually
able to keep a straight face but it just wouldn't stay that way.

	Jake groaned and Zac said, "Sorry."

	Jake tensed his muscles and tried to turn back to the math assignment but it
wasn't working well at all. That morning, Zac had come into the math and
science room with an almost sickeningly happy smile which meant that he and
Reid had engaged in some particularly choice humping the night before. In fact,
he'd never seen Zac smiling so much and while it made Jake happy to see, it
hurt him deep down that the smile wasn't his doing. He wanted so much to be
with Zac and feel the dark and hidden places that only Reid touched and kissed,
but he wasn't stupid and no amount of lust could make him forget that it wasn't
going to happen. And Jake wasn't going to try and make it happen because, like
he'd told Reid, he was happy for Zac and it would hurt him even more to cause
some damage to something that made Zac so happy.

	So he kept working. Jake spent nearly every day hunched over and buried in
some textbook doing extra-credit assignments and whatever he could to take his
mind off all the pain. For a few minutes combined during the day, it actually
worked and Jake forgot about his desire for Zac and his anger towards Brandon
for hurting him. His mind would be too full of math problems or adverbs or
whatever else he was studying and he would achieve a wonderfully calming sense
of nothingness in his soul and the pain would be alleviated. But soon enough,
it would all come back and make him feel so hopeless.

	He had been looking so tired and haggard that Zac had asked if he was OK, and
Jake had to lie and say that he was just feeling the strain of the work he was
doing. When Zac asked him so sincerely and the look in his eyes was so full of
care and concern, Jake nearly broke down. Nearly. He couldn't allow himself to
break down because it would eventually get back to Brandon and give the asshole
a sense of accomplishment and if Jake did one thing right, he wouldn't let
Brandon drive him into hysterics. He had already let Brandon take his virginity
but that was all he would take.

	Not too long ago, Jake's mother had called him but he just didn't have the
strength to talk to her. He told the sector head that he didn't want to talk
and deep down, he wanted nothing more than to cry and let all his feelings pour
out to her. But he had to keep himself in some state of semblance or he would
slide further into depression and they'd find him in a bathtub with his wrists
cut and a pathetic suicide note by his side. But that would send him to hell
and the one thing he knew was that no gay people belonged in and hell and even
if they did, he wasn't going to give them one more before it was time.

	"Hey Jake?" Zac said and the mere sound of his voice was enough to render a
rush of blood through Jake's system.

	"Yeah?" He said, looking up but not allowing himself to fall into Zac's eyes.

	"I'm sorry... I mean, I'm sorry that you feel so bad. If I weren't with Reid,
I'd go out with you." Zac said and immediately felt bad for being so untactful.

	Jake sighed and sat back in his chair, "It's not your fault, Zac. And I'm glad
you're happy, even if it's with someone else."

	"But I'm still sorry. If I lead you on with out knowing it... it wasn't what I
was trying to do. I guess flirtiness runs in my family or something..." Zac said
as he fiddled with the corner of the paper.

	"Don't worry about me, Zac. Before you came in here, I wasn't doing too well
with the whole place and my feelings got all blown up and made more serious
because of it."

	"I do like you a lot, Jake. I still want us to be friends because I do need
someone my own age to talk to." Zac said and smiled.

	Jake smiled back and felt quite a bit better about the whole situation. Zac
cared enough about him to bring up the subject and knowing that Zac had
noticed, although it couldn't have been too hard, made him feel better. At that
moment, Jake almost confessed about what happened with Brandon, but something
inside him wouldn't let it happen. Sort of a mix of shame and self-pity but he
tried to tell himself he didn't want to make Zac feel bad. Or something. It had
all turned into such a huge mess.

=Later...=

	It was the night before and Taylor would be arriving at 10:00am the next
morning. Since Zac and I had worn each other out the night before, we spent the
evening hours hanging out in our room and if Zac didn't stop drumming on
different surfaces, he wouldn't live to see his brother get to the compound. He
didn't seem too worried, however, and with each annoyed groan from me I
received a wet kiss on the cheek and an apology which, God help me, made up for
it and started the whole process over. So while I sat and tried to catch up on
Ivanhoe and ignore the endless drum solo going on only four feet away from me.

	"Hey... could you please find some other way to be nervous? I'm going to be
hearing the beat from 'If Only' in my head for the next month and a half." I
said.

	"Wow... you could tell what song it was?" He said and looked genuinely amazed.

	"Yeah, Zac. You've been playing it non-stop with no commercials for the past
hour."

	"Ack!" Zac gagged and thrashed about on the bed, acting like my words had send
a dagger of ice straight to his heart. Once he noticed I wasn't buying it, he
stopped and sat up, giving me a disappointed look, "You know... when a guy has
his own bona-fide rock star after his heart, it would make sense to always want
to experience the musical joy of that guy."

	I stopped and looked up, "Which guy?"

	"Huh?" He said and flopped back up on the bed and laid back against the
pillow.

	"The guy who has the rock star after his heart or the rock star? Who's musical
joy are we talking about experiencing here?"

	"Uhhh..." Zac got an sweetly confused look on his face, "You should want me to
drum on stuff... because... I'm good at it... and...ummmm... MMMBop?"

	"Awww..." I said and crawled over onto the bed and laid down ontop of him.

He squirmed under me and pecked me on the lips as I settled in and looked into
his eyes, falling into his caramel colored eyes that looked like two big pools.
He smiled and rubbed the tip of his nose against mine, stroking my back softly
and kissing my chin. I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled the thin
black band out of his hair and let it fall elegantly around his head on the
pillow. He looked like an angel but before I could get lost in the image, the
air conditioning brought a smell to my nose that could have been any one of the
malodorous areas of his body. I kissed him one more time and rolled off and
laid against his right side, playing with his hair with my left hand.

"This is our last night alone... at least for a while." I said softly, kissing
his forehead tenderly.

"It'll be OK. We can come back and hump when Tay is getting tutored or hanging
out with his friends."

"Wow, you sure know how to turn on the romance." I chuckled quietly.

Zac responded but not in English, but in a few words of his personal alien
language in which nearly every phrase ended with him blowing a raspberry. And
as juvenile as it was, it always made me laugh. I always laughed until he
suggested that he do the real thing that was too horrible to even think about.
Neither of us said anything for a few minutes before Zac slid his leg
in-between mine and jiggled it, earning some tickling and nuzzling which made
him moan for mercy. We squirmed on the bed together and eventually, just laid
there... enjoying being together. It was something we did quite a bit.

"It's gonna be cool. Just be careful with him." Zac gasped and mopped the sweat
from his brow.

"How about if I treat him with the same care I treated you? To a certain
extent, of course."

"Then he'll be happier than a fly on shit." Zac said and settled against me
cheerfully.

"Ummm... that's a great way to think about it..."

"When you meet Tay, you'll agree that it fits."

"What a horrible way to talk about your brother." I said sternly and nibbled
his earlobe.

Zac looked shocked and gave me his wide-eyed, helpless look, "Well.... Sorry. I
didn't mean it. Besides, that's about as far as my meanness towards him goes.
Before I met you, he was my best friend."

"Awww..."

"Well, duh, Reid. Who did you think was my best friend?"

"I know... but it's so sweet... and..."

"Don't you dare say it!" He tensed and shut his eyes tight.

"Cute!" I snickered and Zac spasmed in my arms, acting like I'd stabbed him
with the ice dagger.

"Tomorrow..." I said softly and stroked his hair.

"Yup..."He said with a yawn.

Zac sighed contentedly and snuggled into my arms, breathing softly and from
what I could tell, feeling completely at peace. It was kind of hard for me to
relax with the odd, not-quite-human sounds of digestion coming from Zac's
stomach but I did my best anyway, and to my surprise, I began to doze off.
Somehow, we got under the covers and after some half-asleep cuddling; we
drifted off into a deep sleep. My last thought as I fell asleep was wondering
if I would really be OK with Taylor there... maybe he wouldn't feel pressured...
maybe he would be OK or... not...

=In dreams...=

	Not so hot!

The heatwave in Tulsa had burnt off in the past week and the scene was like
some old movie where drought-ravaged farmers danced in the first autumn
rainfall. It was a cause for celebration in the Hanson household as nearly
everyone had made plans to spend the evening out, save for Zac and I, who had
ever so graciously cleared our calendars for a night at home. Since our sweaty,
nude romp in the local movie theater, Zac and I weren't able to go two minutes
in each others company without needing to hurry off into the bathroom and
engage in a "lovepork session". And thankfully, since the heat had gone down to
a pleasant 85 degrees, we were able to sleep in Zac's bed where I enjoyed the
lovely aged scent of his bedsheets.

"Bye honey." Mrs. Hanson said, kissing Zac on the forehead and hugging him one
last time which drew a sacrificial victim look from Zac. His mom and dad had
wasted no time in setting up a dinner date with associates while the other
siblings were staying at friends houses for the night. Isaac would be out on
one of his endless dates, which made me wonder if he ever ran out of girls to
go out with. But I could only wonder since he kept his personal life so
shrouded in mystery.

"Mom... don't kiss me..." Zac complained.

"When you can beat me at arm wrestling, I'll stop kissing you goodbye," She
said and put on her coat, "Taylor will be back in about half an hour so he can
keep you company before you guys hurry off to bed. It's still hot out so take
plenty of breaks and drink lots of fluids."

"Whoa... hold on... back up... wait a minute... I thought Tay was at a party." Zac said
in a mortally serious tone.

"Oh... no. He decided not to go. Is that a problem?" She said looking up from her
purse.

"Well... Reid and I kinda wanted some privacy." He looked back at me,
crestfallen, while I pretended to be fascinated in the Top Gun DVD playing on
the television.

"It'll be OK. He'll go in his room or write songs at the dining table."

"No, mom... he won't. He'll come home and sit right between us and be totally
dense." Zac pouted and collapsed on the couch beside me.

"Zac, he's lonely. It's been a full month since he broke up with Gina and it
was very hard on him. Please dig down deep and find that sweet little boy that
got tattered by puberty and show some compassion to your big brother. He'd do
the same for you." She said and tousled his hair.

Zac sighed and I could tell he was unable to resist, "OK mom. For you."

Mrs. Hanson smiled and kissed Zac again on the forehead.

"Thank you," And to me, she said, "Take care of them, Reid. You're the man of
the house tonight."

With that, she grabbed her purse and walked out the door and yelled at Mr.
Hanson for continually honking the horn. And with the slam of the door, Zac and
I were really alone for the first time in quite a while. All the months on the
road had seen us sneaking off into an out of the way stockroom of the theater
du jour or releasing our tension in the shower before all the media events
pulled him away. But not now... it was just us. Zac had been in a hyper mood all
day but for the first time, he was mellowed out and quite relaxed as he fooled
with the ratty fringe of his old T-shirt that was covered with assorted food
stains and the general wear and tear of a rock star's life. When that got old,
he began to fool with the leg of his khaki cutoffs, fidgeting more than I was
used to.

"You OK?" I asked, then cleared a strand of his hair from his face and tucked
it behind his ear.

"I'm sorry, Reid. I really thought we would be alone tonight." He said.

"Awww... it's OK," I cuddled up to him and nuzzled his neck, "We can have fun in
your room."

"I know... but we were supposed to have the house to ourselves. We were supposed
to make a naked snack run at midnight and all that." Zac mumbled and I could
tell he was really annoyed by it.

"Mmmm... we need to make the best of our thirty minutes, then." I said and began
to nibble on his collarbone.

"Oooh... maybe it'll be cool..." Zac murmured, turning to putty in my hands.

"Of course it'll be OK... would the man of the house do you wrong?"

Zac shivered at the phrase and looked at his watch, which had to be tough since
his hand was shaking slightly, "It's 5:15... you think we could get naked, screw
like rabbits, and still have some cuddling time?"

"Eight seconds to get naked, 20 minutes of butt pluggin', and ten seconds of
clean up time. It'll be... tight." I whispered in his ear, emphasizing the last
word and making him shiver again.

He didn't say anything else before planting his warm lips on mine in a long
kiss that was so firm I could feel the blood rushing through them. He pulled
off and began to kiss my cheek as my fingers slowly amble up his leg, circling
his anklebone and further up onto the silky skin of his calf. He made a noise,
sort of a half moan/half grunt, and straightened his leg out over my lap, and
allowing my fingers to crawl up onto his thigh but not before needing to push
the leg of his shorts up a ways. He gave me another long kiss before lying back
on the couch and draping his legs across my lap comfortably, resting his feet
on the arm of the sofa. My hand kneading the skin of his legs, savoring the
sensation of the firm muscle under my palm.

I looked over at his face and his eyes were half-open and he looked at me with
a dreamy smile on his face, getting lost in the sensations of my massage.
Bringing my hand up from his ankle to the middle of his thigh and back down and
I began to undo the shoelaces of his blue sneakers. He moved his foot from side
to side and after hearing a moan, I looked back over to see that Zac had planed
his hand firmly in his crotch and was rubbing the growing erection. Making sure
to hold my breath as I pulled off his shoes to avoid the first rush of fumes, I
went to work on his feet and pulled off the black socks and set them carefully
on the ground. His toes wiggled in the open air and I promptly reached up to
tickle the bottoms of his feet, drawing a grand mal of horny giggles from their
owner. His toes curled in my hand when I gave them each a quick individual
massage before giving him an evil look and turning my attentions to his ankles,
rubbing them each with slow, firm squeezes and making Zac squirm. Try as I
might, I couldn't figure out why his ankles were such an erogenous zone, but I
sure wasn't going to question it.

As my hands worked their magic on his ankles, Zac became increasingly primal
and his moans were beginning to sound like animalistic cries of passion. His
hands gripped the sides of the couch and the massages he was giving his bulge
were getting deeper and harder... until he stopped. He sat up and his face was
only a centimeter from mine, so close that I could feel his breathing. He
grabbed my face and kissed me again, sliding his tongue into my mouth and
exploring eagerly. He moved his legs off my lap and spread them as far as he
could manage and pulled me down ontop of him and I could feel the thumping
shaft inside his shorts. He arched his back and pushed his crotch against me,
slobbering all over my lips as he alternated between kissing me and licking his
tongue in long, sloppy strokes over my lips. I don't think I'd ever seen, felt,
held, or smelled him that horny before.

In the steaminess of our passion, the sound of his shorts rustling against the
couch cushion as he pulled them down. He smiled between kisses and his fingers
slid up the front of my shirt and stroked my nipples, sending bolts of pleasure
through my body. His other hand went down the back of my pants and squeezed one
of my asscheeks long and firmly, making me moan into his mouth. I felt the
waistband of my pants clear my tailbone and the warm air caressed my bare ass.
My cock poked out of the fly of my boxers and rubbed against the tight cotton
of Zac's boxers, and my precum began to make a wetspot on the fly. Zac moaned
again as he felt the wet warmth on his captive balls held inside.

"Hey. Anybody home?" Taylor's voice traveled from the front hallway into the
living room.

"Son of bitch..." Zac hissed and pulled his shorts back up in a hurry while I did
the same. As we tried to get ourselves together, I could see out of the corner
of my eye that Zac was quite irritated by his brother's sudden appearance on
the scene. I winked at him and he seemed to cool down a bit but he still seemed
pretty annoyed by the whole situation.

Taylor walked into the living room and stopped when he saw us on the couch. The
DVD had gone forgotten for the past few minutes, and the credits had rolled. I
mopped the sweat from my brow and took a sip from the can of Pepsi I'd been
drinking earlier, but it had also gone forgotten and I flinched at the flat
taste of it. Taylor stood there for several seconds and tried to be tactful but
I couldn't blame the poor guy.

"You're early, Taylor." Zac said sternly.

"Uhhh... yeah. I left the studio earlier than usual... did I interrupt you guys?"
He said and his tone was so apologetic.

"Yes. You did." Zac said, in the same cold tone of voice.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know." Taylor said meekly and averted his eyes.

"It's OK, Tay. We're fine," I said and turned to Zac and said quietly, "Don't
be like this. He didn't mean to."

Zac sighed, "OK. I'm sorry, Tay."

Taylor smiled and dropped his car keys on the foyer table. I watched him as he
walked into the living room and sat down on the black leather loveseat and I
couldn't help but notice him. He and Zac seemed so similar but at the same
time, they were both quite different. Zac was handsome, while Taylor had the
whole "pretty" thing going on. I tried not to be too obvious as I scanned him
from head to toe. He was wearing brown weave sandals, tight jeans, and a white
T-shirt. It wasn't what I would call "comfortable" but if it worked for him
that was just fine with me.

"I'm thirsty. You want anything?" Zac said, kissing me on the cheek and getting
up.

"Yeah. Bring me another Pepsi." I said and motioned my head towards Taylor and
Zac rolled his eyes.

"Tay, you want anything?" Zac sighed.

"Ummm, yeah. Do we have any juice?" He asked and drummed his fingers softly on
the arm of the loveseat.

"Sure. I'll surprise you." Zac said and shuffled off towards the kitchen.

Taylor and I relaxed in silence for a while as I moved back down on the couch
and stretched out, idly watching the movie Zac had turned to in his
frustration. My relationship with Taylor had been an interesting one up to that
point. When Zac had introduced me to his family, their reaction had ranged from
happy and welcoming, his parents and younger siblings, to slightly wary at
first, in Isaac's case. Taylor had fallen somewhere in the middle, being a
little guarding at first but eventually realizing that my feelings for Zac were
real. But even then, Isaac and I had our age and basic mindset in common while
I was able to suitably impress their parents... but something still felt weird
with Taylor. I didn't know if it was him feeling threatened that I would take
Zac away from him or whatever it was... I wasn't sure.

"Are you guys making out?" Zac called from the kitchen, sounding a million
miles away.

"No, Zac." Tay called back, blushing slightly.

"Why not? Is Reid not good enough for you?" Zac called again in an acerbic
tone.

Taylor sighed and looked up at the ceiling as Zac came back into the living
room carrying a Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, and a glass filled with orange juice. After
handing the juice off to Taylor, he sat down next to me and draped his leg over
my lap as we began watching the TV again, in silence. About an hour passed of
the three of us sitting and watching TV, with Zac occasionally making a witty
remark on the show. Taylor seemed like he was OK but he was so stoic that I
wouldn't have made a bet on what was going on.

"Let's do something!" Zac moaned and jumped up off the couch.

"Like what? I'm broke and you smell like a foot." I said, not looking away from
the TV.

Zac turned off the TV, "Well, let's play a game or something!"

"Like what? Truth or Dare?" I said, not thinking.

The room went quiet and when I looked up, Zac was smiling mischievously and
Taylor had a fairly intrigued look on his face.

"Let's do it. You game?" Zac asked and Taylor nodded, smiling slightly.

"Oh lord..." I said softly and immediately felt a rush of excitement at the
theory of playing 'Truth or Dare' with Zac Hanson.

"Hold on. I'm gonna go change." Taylor said and took off up the stairs.

Zac laughed and pulled me up off the couch into an embrace, "Hey... keep
remembering that it's only a game."

I nodded and took a deep breath as the sound of Taylor coming back down the
stairs took my attention away from Zac. Taylor had changed into a white tanktop
and baggy plaid boxer shorts and neither really did much to hide the more
angular areas of his anatomy. Zac seemed pretty eager to get started and went
over to the phone and turned it off and switched on their answering machine. He
bounced back over and rubbed his hands together like a mad scientist.

"OK... let's all sit down in a triangle on the floor." He said and once we all
sat down, he jumped up again and turned the lights in the room down low, "All
right... no wait, hold on!"

Taylor and I exchanged puzzled glances as Zac jumped up again and went down the
hall. We heard him rooting around in a drawer for several seconds before he
came back carrying a thick white candle, which he set on a clean plate in the
center of our triangle. He pulled out a book of matches and carefully lit the
candle, bathing us all in a soft, golden glow. Zac sat down Indian-style and
settled in, looking at us both and in the light of the candle, his eyes gleamed
with pleasure.

"Allrighty then... let's go clockwise." He said, his voice heavy with
anticipation.

"Who starts?" Taylor asked, lying down on his stomach in front of the candle.

"It was Reid's idea..." Zac said and looked at me wistfully.

"All right..." I sighed. There was no turning back now, "Zac, truth or dare."

"Hmmm..." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Truth."

"OK... when you said that the bruise on your neck was a hickey I gave you, was
that true?" I asked, looking at him intently.

"Uhhh..." Zac seemed ashamed, "No. That was from a stray drumstick that hit me."

"I knew it!" I slapped the floor and laid down on my side.

"OK OK..." Zac said and turned to Taylor, "Truth or dare, Tay."

"Dare." Taylor said in an almost challenging tone.

"I dare you to... take off your shirt for the rest of the game."

"Oooh... that's so naughty, Zac." Taylor said sarcastically and promptly pulled
the wife beater up over his head and tossed it on the couch before lying back
down on the floor.

"Oh no! You have to have at least one nipple showing!" Zac said and Taylor
looked at him in disbelief.

"Whatever." Tay said and sat up with his back against the couch and stretched
his crossed legs out to the side of the candle with his bare feet nearly
brushing against mine, "Truth or dare, Reid."

"Hmmmm... Dare."

"OK, I dare you to suck on Zac's big toe for thirty seconds." Taylor said and
he was more animated than I'd ever seen him.

"Oh sweet Jesus..." I said and Zac promptly stuck his foot right in my face.

Not wanting to lose the game, I held my breath and sealed my mouth around his
toe and sucked on him, trying to ignore the roughness and little flap of dry
blister that had begun to come off. Taylor counted off the seconds and Zac
wiggled his toe in my mouth as I struggled to hold my breath the whole time,
sucking in a steady enough rhythm to complete the dare. Zac squirmed slightly
and I knew he was getting off on it as we made eye contact and he winked
amorously at me. I sucked and then right as it was about over, I gave his toe a
gentle nibble which drew a gasp out of him.

"Four... three... two... one." Taylor said and looked disappointed. I pulled off and
exhaled without drawing in a breath, getting the funkiness out of my mouth and
wiping my tongue on my T-shirt. The aftertaste of Zac's foot was still on my
tongue and I tried hacking a few times to get rid of it but only succeeding in
creating a slightly more than moldy taste in my mouth. Luckily, a sip of Pepsi
soon washed it away.

"Zac," I said, scraping my tongue with my teeth, "Truth or dare."

"Dare." He said promptly.

"OK... I dare you to..." I had to think of a good one, "I dare you to... floss with
one of Tay's pubic hairs."

They both looked at me like I was insane.

Then Zac shrugged, "Yank one out, Tay."

Taylor looked at Zac with a hurt expression, "Do you think I have crabs or
something? I can't just yank one out!"

"Just pull one out." Zac said frustratedly.

"OK," Taylor sighed, "Does it have to be a pube or can it be a ball hair? Those
come out easier."

At that point, I didn't really think it was getting out of control. I was only
surprised that Taylor seemed so forthcoming.

"Whatever works best." I said.

After a few seconds of effort, Taylor's hand returned out of his boxers and
passed a wiry blond hair to Zac who sniffed it elaborately. After finding the
scent to his satisfaction, he held it taught and worked it in between two of
his upper teeth until I gave the sign that I was satisfied with the dare. He
smiled happily and tried to give the hair back to Tay, who looked at him like
he was covered in feces and pushed it back. Then when Zac acted like he was
going to eat it, we both stepped in and made sure that didn't happen.

"Truth or dare, Tay." Zac said, taking a drink of Dr. Pepper.

"Truth."

"OK... do you think Reid is hot?" Zac said very directly.

Taylor blushed and in the light of the candle, I could see a very thick
erection make itself present in the front of his boxers. I almost felt
flattered but then felt kind of dirty. Taylor struggled for an answer.

"Don't you be lookin'." Zac said softly, and poked my shoulder with his finger.

"Ummm..." Tay stumbled, uncrossed his legs and pulled them up and placed a couch
cushion between them, "Well... if I were into guys... sure..."

"Are you into guys?" I asked, looking him in the eyes.

He sighed, "I... ummm... oh God..."

"Is that why you broke up with Gina?" Zac asked, and the game was put on hold
for the moment.

"Yes," He said softly and his eyes looked damp in the light of the candle as he
looked into it, "More like she broke up with me when I told her. It's like the
only thing I regret is that I used her to try and prove otherwise. I hurt her."

We all sat in silence for a few minutes before Zac said, "Well... I'd say the
game as gotten more interesting, Watson."

"It's my turn. I'm ready, Tay." I said and he smiled gratefully and held the
pillow across his lap.

"Truth or dare, Reid."

"Dare." I said, sitting up and hugging my legs in front of me.

"Hey... why don't we just play 'Dare'?" Zac said, smiling.

Taylor and I both nodded before he said, "I dare you to undress Zac. Totally
naked."

Zac and I smiled at each other and he stretched out on his back with his limbs
akimbo. I rubbed my hands slowly up his bare legs and hooked my fingers into
the waistband of his shorts and pulled them down slowly, having a little
trouble getting over the bulge of his semi-hard on. After his shorts, I slid my
hands under his shirt and pulled it up and off, leaving him naked except for a
pair of Taco Bell boxers complete with Chihuahuas with little catchphrase
filled voice balloons. He shivered overdramatically and stood up and began to
swivel his hips in an erotic dance, pulling down the waistband and giving us a
few fleeting glimpses of his crotch and ass. Eventually the whole thing came
off and Zac was buck-naked and he tossed the sweaty underwear at me, landing it
perfectly on my face. I retched and tossed them away, admiring Zac's naked body
as he laid back down and rested his chin in his hands.

We both looked at Taylor who seemed to be holding the pillow on his lap a
little tighter with a shocked look on his face. He laughed softly and shrugged
the light of the candle flickering on his smooth skin. Taylor's physique was
fairly similar but quite different than Zac's... he was much more chiseled and
defined. His slim chest and upper body had a mature thickness to it and his
stomach was flat and toned. If there were guys out there who were into that
sort of torso, then that's cool. I preferred my boys meaty and plump.

He spread his legs while balancing the pillow on his lap as he hugged his arms
and in the dim light, he looked like he had goosebumps. He was trying to find
something to say about the situation.

"Tay?" Zac said, scratching his crotch without a trace of introversion, "You
OK?"

"Yeah, I'm just hanging out." He said and smiled.

"OK, Zac... I dare you to..." I thought for several seconds.

Bingo.

"I dare you to French kiss Taylor for ten seconds."

Taylor squirmed and he trembled nervously as Zac smiled and squinted his eyes.
He thought for a moment before licking his lips in the most blatantly
sweltering way I'd ever seen.

"Want to taste my lips, Tay?" He said, and any hint of joking had left his
voice.

"Oh man..." Taylor said softly and hugged the pillow again, "Zac... I don't think...
I m-mean... I don't want to mess anything up..."

Zac looked at me, "Just a game, right Reid?"

"That's right." I said and my voice was drenched in the same tone as Zac's.

"If we don't, I'm eliminated from the game..." Zac said.

Taylor didn't say anything for a while before a smile appeared on his almost
doll-like face. He bit his lip and tapped on the pillow, "Well... get over here,
Zac."

Zac didn't need any further encouragement and crawled slowly across the floor
to where Taylor was sitting. My breathing had sped up quite a bit and it didn't
slow as Zac straddled Taylor's hips and held his face so close that their lips
were nearly touching. Zac had an intense look on his face as he looked into
Taylor's eyes and gently brushed his lips over Tay's upper lip. My head spun
and I couldn't believe my eyes as Zac slowly pressed his mouth against Taylor
and opened it, and from the surprised expression in his eyes, I could tell he
was feeling Zac's tongue enter his mouth. Zac held his face firmly, running one
hand through his hair and rubbing hid tongue over the inside of his brother's
mouth. After a few seconds, I remembered to time it and deep down, I felt bad
for interrupting what looked like Taylor's first gay kiss. From his little
brother, no doubt.

"OK... that's ten seconds." I guesstimated.

Zac slowly pulled off and as he did so, a thin string of drool connected their
lips and it shimmered in the light of the candle. Taylor had a shell-shocked
look all over him, pretty much as took a few deep breaths and licked his lips
slowly. Zac sat back and smiled happily. He ran his hand over his bare stomach
and the motion pulled my attention down to his fully erect cock in the golden
glow of the candle. I looked at Taylor and he was still sitting with the pillow
between his legs and he had a far away expression on his face. Did that really
just happen? I asked myself, No, it couldn't have. That would be way too....
Perfect.

"I think Taybear liked it." Zac said and I noticed the pillow had fallen away
to reveal Taylor's rock hard seven inch cock poking out of the fly of his
boxers.

"Huh?" Taylor said, snapping out of his daze, "Oh... oh shit!"

He went to grab the pillow but Zac stopped him and tossed it away, "I dare you
BOTH to get naked. Right here, right now..."

Taylor and I looked at each other, wondering who would be first to respond.
What the hell... we're already halfway to hell, I thought and pulled off my shirt
and pants, and my boxer soon followed and I was left totally nude. The look in
Taylor's eyes was different than it had been as he hooked his thumbs in the
waistband of his boxers and pulled them off, and then he too was completely,
totally naked. It was almost mind-blowing seeing both Zac and Taylor exposed...
willingly, even. The whole game was hitting a new plateau of excitement as
Taylor reached down and stroked himself slowly, and the sight was so incredible
I had to turn away or else I would have fainted.

"Your turn, Tay." Zac said.

Taylor looked at me and his blue eyes nearly cut through me, and when he
smiled, my head felt like it was filled with tiny bubbles of air. Like I was
getting some kind of the bends in sexual form. I noticed for the first time
that my upper body had gotten quite sweaty even though we weren't doing
anything all that physical. Taylor continued to think as I wiped the sweat from
myself and tried to adjust the erection between my legs that was taking most of
my blood, leaving very little for the rational side of my brain. But I wouldn't
have complained for all the money in the world.

"Reid... I dare you to put on a blindfold and guess which one of us is sucking
you off."

His words shook me to the core and my stomach fluttered like a hummingbird.

"Ummm... It won't be too difficult. I know what Zac's mouth feels like..." I
stammered.

"Then you have nothing to worry about." Zac said, creeping over to me and tying
his shirt around my eyes before whispering, "Make sure you let us do a thorough
job of sucking you before you decide."

I was shaking like a leaf as Zac guided me back against the couch and spread my
legs apart, letting my hard on stick up into the warm, air in front of me. He
and Taylor whispered softly to one another but even if they said anything
directly to me, I wouldn't have noticed. For a few seconds, nothing happened
but then I felt a hot wetness close around my cockhead, making me moan and rise
my ass up off the floor. The only thing I knew for sure was that it wasn't Zac.
This mouth was different, the tongue was longer and smoother and the breath was
much hotter. The mystery mouth slid up and down on me, wetting my shaft and
massaging it with the kind of care only a piano player could show. I felt the
familiar tingle in the bottom of my nuts.

"OK OK OK... I'm gonna cum..." I said and the mouth pulled off and the sudden
coolness made me wince.

Then, for another few seconds, there was nothing until I felt a very familiar
mouth close around my dick. I recognized the cleft in the tongue immediately as
it slid up and down on me, cradling the vein running down the middle. There was
no doubt about this one. I felt two full lips suck on the head and massage me
with their lush plumpness. My cock throbbed and I involuntarily sent several
spurts of precum onto the tongue. I rested my hands on the silky head and eased
it off as I pulled the shirt away from my eyes. Zac was sitting back and
smiling while Taylor seemed a little shy and had trouble looking me in the eye.

"The first one was Taylor. Then it was you, Zac." I said, breathing heavily.

"Oh darn." Zac said and acted overly disappointed.

"Your turn, Zac." I said, wiping the sweat from my brow.

Zac responded with probably the most Machiavellian grin I'd ever seen on a
human behind, "Tayyyy..."

"Yeeeeah?" Taylor said, unsettled by Zac's tone.

"I dare you to take Reid up the butt." He whispered and laughed insanely.

Taylor's mouth dropped open and after realizing what Zac had said, I almost
passed out at the mere thought. Taylor and I both fidgeted and didn't look at
each other as Zac giggled happily at his work. I took a deep breath and weighed
my options, of which there weren't many. I could refuse and Taylor would lose
the game and I'd never hear the end of it from Zac, or I could take Taylor from
behind and give us all the kinkiest memories possible. Even as I sat there, I
still pretended I had a choice.

Taylor had made his decision, "Come on, Reid. I'm not losing the game."

He was on all fours, waving his bare ass at me in what looked like a bizarre
mating call. Zac moaned and began to stroke himself slowly at the sight and my
cock was beginning to throb almost painfully. My lips tried to form words but
it wasn't working too well.

"Uh... we need lube." I finally managed to say.

"Yeah, we do." Zac said and in an instant, his face was pressed into Taylor's
ass, rimming him and coating the pucker that, at that point, I could only
assume was hidden inside. Tay's mouth was hanging open and he was letting out a
series of grunting whimpers as Zac slid his tongue in and out.

"G-Good thing I took a show-OWER!" Tay cried as Zac shoved his tongue all the
way inside. After a few more seconds of tongue action, Zac sat back and admired
his handy work before beckoning me over. He slid back watched intently as I
crawled over and placed my hand unsteadily on Taylor's back.

Zac crawled over and whispered in my ear, "Do it."

I took one last breath as I crawled up and mounted Taylor from behind, wrapping
my arms around his lean waist, and for a second I worried that I might break
him. He seemed to sense my apprehension as he leaned his head back and nibbled
on my lower lip, reassuring me softly as my cock began to press against his
hole. As tight as Zac was, Taylor's hole had never been penetrated and I it
took some work before my cockhead began to enter him. He moaned and his body
jerked forcefully several times in my arms, and he pushed his ass back at me
and I noticed how much more tight and compact he was. As if on cue, Zac's hands
made themselves known on my back as he kneaded my rippling muscles and pushed
me slightly, urging me further into his brother's tight ass.

Taylor's hole was gradually beginning to accept my shaft and with each bit of
slack it allowed, he let out a louder yelp of pleasure. I could feel the sweat
between his shoulder blades against my cheek as I hugged him tighter and pushed
myself into him, doing my absolute best not to hurt him. Zac had stopped
rubbing my back and had turned his attention to the four testicles pressed up
between our legs and he was giving them a divine toungebath, causing them to
constrict and squirm against each other as if they were doing an odd dance.
Tay's moans increased and I began thrusting in and out of him until I noticed
that with each push in, he would let out a soft cry that sounded like more pain
than pleasure. I stopped and realized that I was thrusting in too far since my
cock was used to having more room that it was responsible to fill. My cock was
bottoming out and pushing painfully against his tailbone and immediately, I
felt bad.

"Sorry... I'm sorry..." I gasped in his ear.

"It's OK... just keep going..." He breathed back softly.

Being more careful this time, I made shorter thrusts and the moans of pleasure
returned as I rode him, increasing my speed slowly but surely. He was so
slender that I could feel his heart pounding through his back and into my
chest, creating an erotic sensation that words couldn't describe. In the back
of my mind, I wondered what the three of us must have looked like, sweat soaked
and glowing in the light of the candle with me deep dicking Taylor and Zac
between our legs, rolling our nuts around in his hot, wet mouth. My chin rested
on Taylor's shoulder and I looked down at the muscles and veins standing out in
his arms as he pressed his palms against the floor. It was like almost every
concert picture I'd seen of him bathed in sweat as he performed with such
remarkable intensity. But it was quite different now with me taking him
doggystyle and actually causing the muscular tension.

All the earlier sucking had sent me to the edge and when I felt Zac slowly
slide his finger into Taylor's ass along with my cock, that was enough to
clobber me over the edge into orgasm. Tay cried out and his ass clamped down on
my dick and Zac's finger at the same time, but my mind was in some offset
dimension. The glow of the candle blurred and everything seemed to turn bright
as my cock swelled and my nuts emptied their hot, white seed deep into Taylor's
unexplored crater. My ears filled with a rushing white noise but oddly, the
only sound I hear was the firm spraying of Tay's thick cum hitting the carpet
as Zac urged us both to cum more with his tongue on our balls and his hand on
Taylor's spasming dick.

Each of my muscles felt detached as my cock stopped spurting and began to
soften inside Taylor. Zac gave us a few final, complete licks and sucked the
last drops out of Tay's dick before we all collapsed in a pile. Taylor rolled
over on his back under me and kissed me lovingly on the lips, and his eyes had
that unmistakable "sexual buzz" as he looked at me. Zac laid down on my back
and nuzzled my neck softly, making me the meat in a Hanson sandwich. I squirmed
inside the hot, moist and fleshy confines.

"Thank you, Reid." Taylor murmured softly, "For... making my first time... so
amazing..."

Maybe I could have responded but I wasn't about to be able to find the strength
as my head collapsed onto his chest and I listened to the slow beating. His
fingers felt almost like thin carved glass when they crept through my hair,
thanking me in their own individual way. On shaky limbs, I pushed myself up and
crawled onto the couch, trying my best to recover from the excitement of what
had just happened in the past hour. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

"Oh God Tay..." I heard Zac moan. I rolled onto my side and looked down to see
Taylor on his stomach between Zac's legs, his mouth firmly wrapped around Zac's
unsatisfied hard on. It was a sight for the ages.

Wow... one you go gay you never go back, I thought as I watched Taylor eagerly
suck his brother off. Zac was writhing on the floor, his hips gyrating and his
back arched into a "C". He was wildly thrusting into Tay's mouth, who was
taking it like a pro and salivating on Zac's hard drumstick, sucking the knob
and then sliding his mouth back down and burying his nose in the bristly blond
bush. Zac's leg jerked and kicked into the air like a dog as I could see Taylor
easing his index finger slowly into Zac's ass, wiggling and pushing it against
the steamy pucker. From the sound of Zac's moans, I knew it wouldn't be taking
him long to spray all over the rug. Something seemed amiss as Taylor removed
his hands from Zac's ass and sat back on his haunches.

"Hey Zac..." He said, his blond hair sticking to his face, "Want to taste a new
brand of pork?"

Zac's eyes were as wide as saucers, "If it's cool with Reid..."

I nodded and Tay smiled at Zac and stroked his flushed cheek tenderly, "You're
my brother... I want my first gay experience to be with two guys I love."

Taylor leaned down and kissed Zac on the lips before rolling him over slowly
and spreading his legs out against the floor. He began to rub Zac's tight
cheeks and poked the first two fingers of each hand into the hole and eased it
open, benefiting from all my tireless elasticizing. He smiled for a second, and
then he gave Zac a soft slap on the ass before returning the favor Zac had
given him earlier. His face pressed into the crack of his little brother's ass
and a loud slurping sound made it's way to my ears as Taylor thrust his tongue
in and out, mimicking the actions Zac had performed earlier. From the sound of
Zac's moans, it seemed as though good rimjobs were a family trait. Before he
finished, Taylor made a rapid flicking sound as he wiggled the tip of his
tongue inside the hot rim of Zac's asshole, nearly making the recipient pass
out.

Tay looked at me for permission and when I winked and nodded, he smiled and bit
his lower lip as we both listened to the impatient moans coming from the
ragtopped sexpot laying on the floor in front of us. Taylor reached down and
slid his hand under Zac's thigh and pulled him onto all fours, then wrapping
his arms slowly around him and spooning him tightly. He slowly licked Zac's
neck and felt the massive shudders wracking his body.

"Reid... come be with us..." Zac moaned.

How could I refuse? My ass was off the couch in a second and I crawled down and
took a front row seat as I could see Taylor starting to slide his tool into
Zac. It was a really breathtaking moment as I watched two brothers who had
traveled and seen the world together, bond in such a primal way. In the dusky
light, I could see Zac's pink hole expanding around Taylor's thick shaft as it
cosied it's way inside. Even in my lightheadedness, I could make out Zac's hole
spasming around the beating of Taylor's heart as it throbbed inside his
cockhead. Not even Vincent Van Gogh could have painted a more beautiful
picture.

I watched in awe as Taylor's defined thighs pressed against Zac's slightly
thicker ones and began to slap together. It was pretty obvious that Taylor was
enjoying his inauguration into homosexuality as he moaned and gasped, sinking
his hard cock deep inside Zac and pulling it out slowly and deliberately. Zac
shook and moaned with each thrust, completing the troika of our sexual bond
that we'd formed. Zac's whole body started to shake and I helpfully informed
Tay that it was a signal to speed up, and boy did he ever listen. Their hips
began to collide together and it made a wet smacking sound, and underneath it,
I could hear another noise. It sounded like a hot-dog being rubbed briskly
against a balloon but without the ear splitting shrillness.

My head swam as I sat back and took in the scene of Taylor riding Zac and
squeezing him tightly, pumping his hard meat in and out of the hungry, willing
trench. Zac opened his eyes and looked at me, and even in the midst of passion,
he smiled and blew me a soft kiss, reassuring me that our bond was tighter than
ever. I rewarded him by returning the favor from earlier and sliding my face
into the hot temple between their legs and giving each swinging nut a long suck
in my mouth. The atmosphere down between their legs was so steamy that I could
barely breathe... but if I passed out from lack of oxygen, it would have been
fine by me.

The sucking turned to licks as my hot saliva coated their straining balls as I
chased them around with my lips and at several points, I wasn't exactly sure
whom I was pleasuring. Then in one of my proudest moments, I managed to fit all
four in my mouth and hungrily suck on them at the same time, drawing out a
series of ecstatic cries from Taylor and Zac. When my vision began to blur, I
pulled off and after taking a few deep breaths, slid up and took Zac into my
mouth and let him thrust. His cock slid in and out of my lips as Taylor
dictated the tempo, the pace quickening and reaching a near frenzied speed.
Zac's cock swelled one last time and I heard them both moan, their throaty
voices singing an "alternatively lifestylistic" duet with one another.

>From my position under them, Taylor's hands visibly grabbed onto Zac's hips and
both their bodies shook and the taste of another load of Zac's cum hit my
tongue. It felt like Zac was in another universe as his cock went crazy in my
mouth, splattering cum across my taste buds and back onto my tonsils. I felt a
hot dribble onto my stomach as Taylor's cum oozed out of Zac's ass as his
thrusts brought it back out into the open air. The thrusting got gradually
softer until it stopped and I was just barely able to slide up before they both
collapsed ontop of me as Zac gasped against my neck. Taylor laid limply ontop
of us as our positions were reversed, and we laid on the floor exhausted and
breathing heavily.

Eventually, we separated and we laid back against the couch side by side
staring at the candle, which had worn down considerably. Zac reached down and
held my hand as we recovered and as soon as my breath had returned to a
reasonably safe, un-heart attack level, I leaned in and kissed him. Then we
relaxed again and just laid there in each other's company. I sighed and mopped
the thick sheen of sweat from my forehead with a handful of Zac's hair.

"I guess we can make that midnight naked snack run now." I said.

"Yeah..." Zac said, looking over and smiling at Taylor.

I began to get up but Zac stopped me. He leaned in and licked my ear, "We need
to complete our triangle first..."

"Huh?" I said as the room began to blur...

"It's your turn to..." Zac said but his voice... trailed... off... and... I...

=Reality...=

	My body rolled out of bed and landed on the cold tile floor with a damp thud,
my brain was reeling and I scrambled to get back up. Zac was still asleep as I
pulled myself up and sat on the edge of the bed, hurriedly wiping all the sweat
off my chest and stomach. In a few minutes, my body was taken care of but my
mind was in disarray. My guilt needle was off the charts as I began berating
myself for cheating on Zac, even if it was in a dream. You screwed his brother!
I thought and slapped myself in the face mentally, How white trash are you,
Reid?! You slept with his brother! It could have been a Jerry Springer episode!
Fuck! My eyes began to burn and I felt my way into the bathroom and shut the
door, not wanting to wake Zac up.

	My hands were shaking but I still managed to turn on the faucet and did my
best to rub cold water over my face. It felt like if they melted ten glaciers,
it wouldn't be enough. My chest felt like lead as I struggled to breathe,
coming to grips with the dream I'd had. At that point, all I could remember
were various bits and pieces... I remembered something about playing truth or
dare, and then Zac and Taylor kissing, and then... there was the image of the
three of us mashed together in a sexual cluster. My head ached just thinking
about it and it took more water to keep me from flying into a rage at myself.

	My head raised up and I looked at myself in the mirror. The water was slowly
running down my face, as I looked myself in the eye, a little frightened by my
own intensity but not even trying to turn away. My breath was coming a bit
easier and in the light of the bathroom, my face looked flushed and raw. I
clenched my eyes shut and held them that way until they began to ache... then I
opened them and looked back at myself.

	"Is this what you want?" I said, my words bouncing off the inside of the room.

	"Can you handle having Taylor here?" I asked again, fixing my eyes coldly upon
myself.

	"Was it just a dream?" I said flatly and shrugged.

	"Do you deserve Zac?"

	"Has all the time you spent worrying about him being mature enough to handle
it... time you should have spent wondering about yourself?"

	It was the kind of heart to heart talk I should have had with myself long long
ago. My mind did it's best to answer the questions... weighing all the options...
considering each one... Then there was a knock at the door.

	"Reid? Are you OK?" Zac's sleepy voice came through the door, sounding
slightly distressed.

	I didn't say anything for several seconds as I wiped the water off with a hand
towel.

	"Reid... please answer me..." He said again and I could hear the anxiety in his
voice.

	I pulled the door open without thinking and sent the light right into his
eyes.

	"Ahhh... owie owie owie..." Zac whimpered and covered his face. I quickly reached
over and turned the light off.

	"Zac, I need to tell you something." I said and walked over to the bed, he
followed me, still rubbing his watering eyes.

	"You can tell me anything." He yawned and laid back down on the bed next to
me.

	"I had a dream... and..." My throat couldn't say the words.

	"What was it about?" He asked and sat up, rubbing my arm gently.

	"You, and Taylor, and I had sex... we had a threesome." I said and pressed my
forehead into my hands, "We were playing a game or something and it got out of
control. We started sucking each other off and getting naked and having sex and
everything... and I couldn't help what happened. It was like I was watching a TV
show... please don't be mad, Zac..."

	"It's OK, Reid." He said and kissed me on the cheek, "We've been talking about
Tay so much that it had to do something to your sub-conscience thing..."

	"I just feel bad... I cheated on you..."

	"Reid, it was just a dream. Are you planning on making it come true or some
weird shit like that?"

	"No! No... no way, Zac. I would never do that..."

	"Then it's OK. It was just a dream... just the result of everyone talking
constantly about Tay. I'm not mad at you and I won't hold it against you. Just
so long as it stays a dream."

	"It will... I swear to God... it was like I was dealing with the Taylor I'd seen
on TV and everything was way too simple and everything... I don't know..." I
sputtered, falling to my side.

	Zac hugged me from behind and said softly, "Reid... I'm the one who should be
sorry. I've been talking constantly about him and it's screwed with your
dreaming. I shouldn't have just gone on and on about him and I'm sorry. I won't
do it anymore. Just don't ever try and make it come true, OK?"

	I sighed and settled back against his warmth, "I promise, Zac."

	"Good."

	After a few minutes of silence and soft breathing, I said, "So what's the plan
for today?"

	"Uhhh..." Zac hesitated, "Taylor is getting here."

	"We made it about six minutes!" I said and elbowed him softly and we laughed.
And I felt better.

=To Be Continued...=