From: kcolohan@sidsplace.win-uk.net (Yavanna)
Date: Tue, 11 Jul 1995 07:42:03 GMT
Subject: A Taste For Vengeance (DS9 m/m Garak/Bashir/Dukat)
This is a sequel to my earlier DS9 story "Getting Away From It All". It
contains some non-consensual sex, so if that offends you bale out now.
With grateful thanks to Mary, Pam and Jenny for their comments,
criticisms and suggestions - it was appreciated ladies!
Any comments welcomed at kcolohan@sidsplace.win-uk.net
Star Trek, Deep Space 9, and all characters etc. from the series are
trademarks of and copyright Paramount Pictures Corporation.
Story copyright Karen Colohan 1995.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A TASTE FOR VENGEANCE - Part One
--------------------------------
Several weeks had passed since his return to Deep Space Nine
from his unexpectedly eventful trip to Risa, and Julian Bashir was
finally settling back into his normal routine. By mutual agreement he
and Garak spoke about their ordeal as little as possible. Dwelling on
their unpleasant experiences served no useful purpose, and as far as
anyone else on the station was concerned nothing untoward had happened
to them while they were away. All had seemed to be well, until Julian,
glancing through a list of ships due to dock at the station over the
next few days, had learned something that brought the memories of his
and Garak's capture and imprisonment flooding back.
As soon as his shift was over Julian escaped from the Infirmary
and headed along the Promenade to Garak's clothing shop. It was already
closed, but the doctor was privy to the tailor's security code and
quickly let himself in. The Cardassian was seated at a work table,
fussing over a garment he was altering, all the while clucking his
tongue and muttering to himself in irritation. At the sound of Julian's
approach he looked up and smiled, his eyes lighting with a look of
genuine pleasure.
"Ah, my dear Julian, I hadn't expected to see you so soon,"
said Garak with surprise. "Which isn't to say I'm not glad to see you,
you understand," he added teasingly. Normally his light, affectionate
banter would have drawn an answering smile from Julian, but today the
doctor was on edge Garak noted. He set down his work and rose, walking
quickly across to where Julian stood twisting his hands nervously.
"What's wrong?" he asked, searching the doctor's face anxiously.
"Elim, I've got something to tell you," he said at last, very
aware of the tailor's sudden concern. "I don't think you're going to
like it any more than I did."
"And what might that be?" enquired Garak, catching hold of
Julian's hands in his own to still their restless movement.
"It's Dukat," said Julian shortly. "He's coming here - to DS9.
It has something to do with the peace treaty. I'm not sure of the exact
details." He looked up to meet Garak's clear blue eyes, seeing a
reflection of his own unease mirrored there.
"Ah, I had heard that a Cardassian delegation would be coming
to the station soon," admitted the tailor. "My - sources didn't see fit
to tell me that Dukat would be with them though. Do you happen to know
when they will be arriving?"
"The day after tomorrow," replied Julian with a sigh, "he's due
to be here for about a week. Elim, do you think he'll say anything to
anybody?" Garak considered for a moment and then shook his head.
"No, I don't believe he will," said the Cardassian thoughtfully.
"After all, to do so would be to risk revealing his own disgrace in
being deported from Risa. As I understand it, he's been able to keep
that particular piece of information from the Central Command so far
because the trip was made in a private, rather than an official
capacity. If the truth were to be made known it would seriously damage
Dukat's standing with the Central Command."
"Are you sure?" asked Julian anxiously. Garak laughed
humourlessly.
"With Dukat one can be sure of only two things, my dear Julian,"
he said with a grimace of distaste. "One is his ambition and the other
is his antipathy towards myself. We can only hope that, on this
occasion, the former will outweigh the latter." The tailor squeezed
Julian's hands reassuringly, trying to lift his spirits. He could well
understand the doctor's reluctance about encountering Dukat again. He
could hardly claim to be approaching such a meeting with equanimity
himself.
"That really doesn't make me feel a great deal better, Elim,"
observed Julian drily.
"I'm sorry," said Garak with the faintest hint of a smile.
"Perhaps dinner would take your mind off things for a while. Shall we
say 1900 hours in my quarters?"
"Yes, I'd like that," agreed Julian, finally relaxing a little.
"1900 hours it is then." The doctor gently disengaged his hands from
the tailor's grasp. He leaned forward, brushing his lips softly against
Garak's for a brief moment, just long enough to send a bolt of arousal
through the Cardassian's entire body. Then he pulled back and turned
away, leaving the shop without another word.
Garak stood and watched him depart in silence, his mind racing
nearly as fast as his pulse. He didn't relish the possibility of coming
face to face with Dukat again so close on the heels of their last
encounter. Unconsciously one hand strayed to his chest, as if the
cracked ribs still pained him. It was unlikely that Dukat would attempt
anything overt whilst on Deep Space Nine, for the reason that Garak had
given Julian. Nevertheless the tailor had an uneasy feeling that he
wouldn't let his visit pass without trying to exact some sort of revenge
for the Risa debacle. And if that were the case it didn't bode at all
well for himself, or Julian for that matter.
******
Three days later Julian sat in his office, staring at the screen
in front of him with rapt concentration. The newly published paper he
was studying made fascinating reading and so caught up in it was he that
at first he didn't notice when someone else entered the small room. A
slight sound alerted him and all at once his instincts kicked in, making
him abruptly aware of being watched. He glanced up apologetically.
"I'm sorry I didn't notice you there; can I help..." The polite
greeting died on Julian's lips as his eyes registered the tall, imposing
figure standing at ease on the other side of his desk. He swallowed as
his throat became suddenly dry and ran his tongue nervously over his
lips before continuing. "Gul Dukat, this is - unexpected," he finished,
eyeing him warily. The last time he had seen Dukat the Cardassian had
tried to kill him and only Garak's timely intervention had saved his
life. Knowing that this time he was back in the safe, familiar
surroundings of DS9 did little to ease his nervousness.
"Doctor Bashir," said Dukat expansively, "how could I come here
to Deep Space Nine without taking the opportunity to see you to
apologise."
"A-apologise?" stammered Julian in surprise.
"Of course, doctor, my actions the last time we met were quite
inexcusable. I allowed my personal feelings to cloud my judgment; that
is not a mistake I intend to repeat I assure you." Dukat smiled with
apparent sincerity, but Julian couldn't help noticing the predatory look
in his eyes - a look quite at variance with his conciliatory words. "So,
doctor, will you accept my apology? I really don't want there to be any
- misunderstandings between us."
Dukat placed his hands on the edge of the desk, resting his
weight on them as he leaned forward, waiting for Julian's reply. The
doctor swallowed hard again, trying to maintain his composure. The
Cardassian's proximity and intent stare were vaguely disturbing. Julian
pushed his chair back from the desk and got to his feet, anxious to put
as much distance as possible between himself and Dukat.
"I - I'm grateful for your apology," he said at last, acutely
aware of how ridiculous this whole situation was. How could a few
meaningless words wipe away all the pain and anguish of those days on
Risa? But right now all Julian wanted was for Dukat to leave; the
Cardassian's imposing physical presence and direct gaze were unnerving
him more and more with each passing second.
Dukat straightened, inclining his head in acknowledgement of the
doctor's words.
"I'm glad that we've cleared the air, doctor," said the
Cardassian warmly. "I hope that in future our meetings will be more -
pleasant for all concerned." Dukat's gaze swept Julian appraisingly from
head to toe and he favoured him with another smile, his sharp white
teeth briefly visible, before turning to leave. "Good day to you, Doctor
Bashir," he called back over his shoulder as he departed.
Once he was out of sight Julian sank back into his chair,
shaking with reaction. He felt like some small, helpless creature being
stalked by a sleek hunting cat, the image of a panther flashed unbidden
through his mind. It seemed as if he were being toyed with, released
for a moment to run free until the hunter was ready to continue his
pursuit. Julian shuddered at the all too vivid mental image and then
glanced down at himself in shock. The front of his jumpsuit bulged
revealingly with the tell-tale signs of an erection. How could he have
become so aroused he wondered, horrified. Dear God, had Dukat seen...?
Julian brought his hands up to cover his face, feeling his cheeks
burning with shame at the realisation that the Cardassian's sharp eyes
could hardly have missed his heightened state.
******
Dukat stepped from the Infirmary onto the Promenade, a pleased
expression on his face. The good doctor had proved far more responsive
to his initial approach than he could possibly have hoped for. Of
course he had been nervous and mistrustful, but his body had betrayed
him all unknowingly. Evidently the time he spent with Garak had given
him a taste for things Cardassian! Dukat smiled lazily; the next few
days could prove quite diverting he decided. Doctor Bashir was by no
means unattractive when aroused...
Setting aside that entertaining notion for the time being
Dukat turned his steps in the direction of Garak's clothing shop. The
tailor would not be as easy to deal with as the naive human, so he
would need all his wits about him! As the door of the shop slid aside
at his approach Dukat allowed himself a moment of vicious contemplation.
*I may not be able to kill you, tailor, but I can destroy the only
thing of value in your miserable life,* he thought with satisfaction.
*And I intend to derive great pleasure from doing precisely that, you
traitorous old fool!*
Dukat surveyed the interior of the shop contemptuously as he
allowed his eyes to adjust to the pleasantly subdued lighting. He
would never understand why these humans and Bajorans felt the need for
such garishly bright illumination. His reverie was interrupted by the
sound of soft footsteps behind him. He turned to find Garak watching
him, poised, his expression wary.
"Dukat! What an unexpected - visit this is," said Garak
ingratiatingly. "I certainly can't say it's a pleasure," he added acidly
just loud enough for Dukat to hear. "It's not often that a fellow
Cardassian patronises my humble establishment these days. To what do I
owe the honour?"
"Ah, Garak, as gracious as ever," remarked Dukat, his eyes
narrowing at the tailor's insolent tone. "I simply dropped by to see
if you had recovered from your unfortunate injury."
"I'm touched by your concern," said Garak evenly, "but I'm sure
you must have far more pressing matters to attend to." The tailor's
clear blue eyes caught and held Dukat's. He stared fixedly at the
other man, trying to fathom the true intent behind this inconsequential
verbal fencing.
"Not at all," Dukat demurred. Judging his moment carefully he
continued casually. "I needed to visit the Infirmary, but that's taken
care of now." His words had the desired effect. Garak couldn't entirely
mask his concern and Dukat took a perverse pleasure in seeing the
momentary flash of fear that crossed the tailor's face. But Garak was
an old hand at this sort of game and his impassive expression was
quickly back in place.
"You're not ill, I trust," he murmured with manifest
insincerity.
"Oh no," said Dukat affably, "but I felt I really should see
Doctor Bashir and clear up that distressing misunderstanding which
occured on Risa. He was most gracious."
"I'm sure he was," agreed Garak neutrally.
"Yes, we had a most - stimulating conversation," continued
Dukat blithely. An unmistakable glint lit his pale eyes as he leaned
closer to Garak, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "He really is an
intriguing young man don't you think, Garak, with unexpectedly exotic
appetites. I can understand your interest in him."
As the import of Dukat's words sank in Garak's whole body
tensed. He clenched his hands into fists at his side, struggling to
control his anger. The tailor wasn't much given to physical violence,
he preferred to achieve his aims by less direct means, but at that
moment his restraint was sorely tested. With an effort he forced
himself to stop and think. Surely this was simply a lie, designed to
provoke him... and yet, if Julian were attracted to him then why not
to Dukat as well.
"What have you done, Dukat?" he finally forced out between
gritted teeth.
"Done, Garak? I haven't done anything - yet." The threat
implicit in his words was not lost on the tailor. An unpleasant smile
curved Dukat's lips and he leaned in closer, his breath hot against
Garak's cheek. "I didn't need to do anything to - arouse the good
doctor's curiosity. I think he's in need of someone a little younger,
more challenging. So, look to your laurels, tailor!" With a mocking
flourish he blew a kiss in the infuriated Garak's direction, an amused
expression crossing his face as the tailor backed away in disgust.
"You're lying!" Garak snarled angrily.
"You think so?" said Dukat smugly. "Well why don't you ask your
loyal doctor about it?" Knowing that he had accomplished all that he
had set out to do Dukat turned on his heel and strode from the shop
without a backward glance. Garak stared after him, anger and fear
warring for supremacy within him. What if Dukat's words were true? What
if Julian really were tiring of him? The tailor closed his eyes,
fighting for composure. He wouldn't give Julian up; he couldn't. A
wordless cry of pain escaped him, and before he could think better of it
he found himself hurrying from the shop and heading for the Infirmary.
******
For the second time in less than an hour Julian found his
studies interrupted. He was grateful for the intrusion; since Dukat had
left his concentration had been erratic to say the least, and it had
taken him some time to bring his treacherous body back under control. A
slight shiver ran through him again now as he looked up to see Garak
standing on the other side of his desk, an anguished expression on his
face.
"Elim, whatever is the matter?" Julian asked, concern evident
in his voice. He rose quickly from his seat, moving around the desk to
the tailor's side. He reached out to lay a hand on Garak's arm, but to
his surprise the Cardassian pulled away, avoiding his touch. Julian
backed off uncertainly. "Elim?"
"I just had a most - enlightening conversation," said Garak
stiffly. "Gul Dukat dropped by the shop. He told me he had been to see
you first."
"That's right," said Julian carefully. "He came to apologise
to me, that's all."
"Are you sure that's all, Julian?" Garak's piercing eyes fixed
on the doctor's and the younger man found himself acutely uncomfortable
as the specifics of Dukat's visit ran through his mind once more.
"I...I'm not sure what you're asking," he said evasively, unable
to meet the tailor's intense, and suddenly accusatory, gaze any more. To
Garak the doctor's discomfiture spoke volumes; an involuntary cry forced
its way past his lips, causing Julian to look up, startled.
"Then it was true," cried Garak painfully. "You did want him!"
"No!" protested Julian. "I didn't, but he - he caught me off
guard.... Elim, I didn't even realise until he was gone, but he must
have seen. I - I couldn't help myself."
"Why, Julian? Why aren't I enough for you?" Despite his
intention of remaining aloof Garak reached out, catching hold of Julian
and pulling him close. "What more do you want?"
"Elim, I don't want anything more. I have everything I could
possibly ask for. And I certainly _don't_ want Dukat," he concluded, his
lips twisting in disgust.
"If that's the truth," persisted Garak unsteadily, "why were you
aroused by him?"
"I honestly don't know," admitted Julian. He pressed his slender
frame still more firmly against the tailor, desparately anxious to
reassure him and, somewhere in the back of his mind, needing to convince
himself that what he had felt in Dukat's presence was of no consequence;
that it was Garak's closeness that set his body on fire. With a long
exhalation of breath he continued. "Frankly I was terrified by him. I
didn't know what he wanted, what he was going to do..."
"You know he wants you, don't you," said Garak miserably.
"That's ridiculous, Elim. Of course he doesn't," insisted
Julian. "He's just trying to make you jealous. He wants to come between
us, can't you see that's what all this is about?"
"And do I have cause to be jealous?" Garak's hands gripped
Julian's arms more tightly, until the doctor winced in pain.
"Elim, you're hurting me!" he protested. "Please stop this - I
thought you trusted me. I love you, Elim, you know that."
"Do you, Julian? Or is it all just words to you?" Abruptly Garak
released him and turned away, twisting his hands together restlessly.
"What can a beautiful young man like you possibly want with a foolish,
old exile such as myself?" With a soft sigh Julian moved to stand close
behind Garak. He slipped his arms around the tailor's waist and laid his
cheek against his shoulder, not caring that anyone walking into the
Infirmary could now see them through the open door of the office.
"I don't know what I can say to make you believe me," he said
quietly, "but for what it's worth I don't see you as foolish, or old.
And I thought what we had was special - to both of us." To emphasise his
words Julian began to caress the ridge at the side of Garak's neck with
slow strokes of his tongue. The tailor gave a muffled moan and turned
quickly, drawing the doctor back into a tight embrace. He sought out
Julian's full lips with his own, kissing him with a desparate passion.
The doctor returned the kiss eagerly, feeling Garak's body trembling as
he pressed against him. As a swelling tide of arousal swept over both
men Julian slid his hands down inside the tailor's waistband, caressing
the Cardassian's firmly muscled backside. The feel of the warm,
leathery skin under his fingers inflamed him further and he thrust his
hips vigorously, his erection rubbing enticingly against Garak's own.
The discreet sound of someone clearing their throat came from
the direction of the office door. Panting hard the two men pulled
guiltily apart and Julian saw one of his nurses, Sedi Jarelle, standing
outside, studiously avoiding meeting his eyes and trying unsuccessfully
not to stare in disbelief at the sight which greeted her.
"Doctor, your next patient is here," said the young woman still
refusing to meet his gaze. Julian cleared his throat in embarrassment.
"Of course, Sedi, I'll be right there," he replied as calmly as
he could, attempting to regain some shred of composure and professional
detachment before facing his patient. He turned quickly to Garak. "Elim,
I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'll see you later though, won't I?"
The tailor was still breathing hard, battling his frustration
and trying to bring his body back under control. He nodded, not trusting
himself to speak. Flushed, caught off balance and still undeniably
aroused Julian had never looked more lovely in Garak's eyes. *How could
I ever deny you?* he thought helplessly. The doctor smiled and paused
just long enough to kiss the tailor's forehead lightly before heading out
into the Infirmary.
After he had gone Garak dropped down onto a chair and buried his
face in his hands. Damn Dukat and his half truths! He'd nearly managed
to ruin the one relationship that made his miserable existence on Deep
Space Nine bearable. The tailor sat for a long time, slowly composing
himself, before he finally slipped unnoticed out of the Infirmary and
returned to his shop.
******
A TASTE FOR VENGEANCE - Part Two
--------------------------------
The next few days left Julian wondering exactly which deity he
had managed to offend, and how. Circumstances conspired to make his life
hell, as a spate of minor accidents and illnesses suddenly afflicted the
inhabitants of the station, keeping him busy in the Infirmary almost
constantly. Normally the extra workload wouldn't have bothered him, but
now it seemed that every time he turned around there was Nurse Sedi,
looking at him reprovingly. He sighed deeply. She hadn't actually come
out and said anything about finding him with Garak, but her disapproval
was plain enough.
To make matters worse still, it seemed that on those rare
occasions he was able to escape from the Infirmary for a few minutes the
first person he ran into each time was Gul Dukat. The Cardassian was
unfailingly polite and made no mention at all of their earlier
encounter. Nevertheless, Julian had the distinct impression that these
chance meetings were anything but, and he couldn't shake the
uncomfortable sensation of being toyed with, pursued. It hadn't helped
when he had chanced to look back over his shoulder after one of these
encounters to see Dukat, standing quite still and watching him intently,
a covetous gleam in his pale eyes. The sight had sent shivers running
through the doctor's slender frame and he had retreated to his office
as fast as dignity permitted.
Julian also found himself missing Garak's company. He had been
too busy with his patients and, in his rare off duty hours, simply too
tired to seek out the tailor. He hoped Garak wouldn't misinterpret his
neglect. The doctor had managed to exchange a few brief words with him
as he hurried back from the Replimat after a rushed meal, but not
surprisingly Garak had chosen to stay away from the Infirmary after
his last eventful visit.
All of these things were churning around in Julian's mind now
as he strode through the habitat ring in the direction of the guest
quarters. This evening he had barely stepped into his own room at the
end of his shift when his commbadge had beeped insistently at him. It
seemed that one of the visiting Cardassian delegation had been taken
ill and was refusing to be attended by the Bajoran medical assistant
on duty. *So much for the peace treaty,* Julian had thought sourly to
himself as he picked up his med-kit and headed back out the door.
Julian stopped outside the quarters he had been directed to
and touched the door chime. At the sound of a voice from within he
opened the door and went inside. Even by Cardassian standards the room
was dark and the doctor paused a moment, allowing his eyes time to
adjust to the gloom. Eventually he was able to make out the shape of
someone seated in a chair on the far side of the room and he picked
his way slowly across towards them. As Julian drew closer the lights
were unexpectedly brightened, finally allowing him to see the quarters'
occupant clearly. He stopped abruptly, a chill stealing through him.
"Gul Dukat," said Julian nervously, "I was told you were unwell.
What exactly is it that seems to be the matter?"
"There's nothing the matter with me, doctor,"admitted Dukat.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that was simply a minor subterfuge on
my part, I'm afraid."
"Why?" asked Julian tersely.
"Because I wanted to talk to you, doctor. There are some things
I believe we need to discuss and somehow I didn't think you would agree
to see me under normal circumstances," replied Dukat with a slight shrug
of his broad shoulders.
"You're probably right," agreed Julian as calmly as he could.
"There wouldn't have been much point in my seeing you as I don't think
we have anything to say to one another at all. Now, as it seems there
is no medical problem for me to attend to, with respect I think I shall
return to my quarters." Julian turned to leave, acutely aware of just
how fast his heart was beating.
"Ah, doctor, I'm afraid it isn't quite that simple," said Dukat
regretfully.
"What do you mean?" said Julian, stopping in spite of his almost
overwhelming desire to run from the room as quickly as he could. "Are
you threatening me? You know you can't stop me from leaving if..." He
regretted uttering the words the moment they left his mouth. A look of
unholy joy crossed Dukat's features as he leapt to his feet, in the same
instant reaching out to wrest the commbadge from Julian's uniform. The
doctor whirled towards the door, but before he could reach it Dukat
called out an instruction to the computer to lock it, reinforcing the
command with one of his old Cardassian security codes. Julian froze,
bemused at the suddenness of his entrapment. His fear must have
reflected in his eyes as Dukat hastened to reassure him.
"You have nothing to fear, doctor," said the Cardassian
smoothly. "I have no intention of hurting you. Now, why don't you sit
down and make yourself comfortable. I'd rather this were as pleasant as
possible - for both of us. Perhaps you'd like something to drink."
"No, thank you," said Julian stiffly, "if you have something to
say to me just say it and let me go." Dukat sighed deeply.
"You're angry with me, aren't you, doctor?" he said after a
moment's pause. "You have a lovers' quarrel with Garak and you blame
me. I really don't think that I can be held accountable for his jealous
nature." Against his better judgement Julian rose to the bait. He fixed
the Cardassian with an angry stare, incensed by his air of injured
innocence.
"You lied to Garak knowing that it would make him jealous. You
were deliberately trying to cause a rift between us," said Julian
angrily. "It was just your petty way of paying us back for what happened
on Risa. Well, it didn't work, Dukat. Garak didn't believe your lies. He
trusts me..."
"You accuse me of lying, doctor," interrupted Dukat, "but I
think you're conveniently forgetting what really happened in the
Infirmary." He held the doctor's gaze steadily and Julian blushed
furiously as he was forced to remember the way the Cardassian had looked
at him then, clearly taking note of the all too obvious erection he had
been unable to suppress. "Ah, but maybe you do remember after all,"
continued Dukat his voice softening, becoming unexpectedly low and
seductive. He stepped a little closer to Julian, his pale eyes looking
intently into the warm brown depths of the doctor's. The younger man
stood transfixed, his heart pounding wildly. He swallowed hard as his
mouth became suddenly dry.
"The only thing I remember," insisted Julian with an effort,
"is that you've already tried to use me to hurt Garak once. I won't let
you do it again."
"Oh, but you misjudge me, doctor," protested Dukat, gesturing
theatrically with his hands. "I'm not trying to step on Garak's toes,
but if I may be frank, I have to admit that you intrigue me."
"What?" Julian looked at the Cardassian disbelievingly. Exactly
what kind of game was he playing here?
"Well, doctor, Garak obviously thinks very highly of you. After
all, he risked his life for you, didn't he?" Dukat grinned maliciously,
provoking a vicious glare from Julian as anger warred with his fear.
The Cardassian raised his hands in tacit apology, but the doctor wasn't
so easily mollified.
"I really don't see where this conversation is getting us," he
said in exasperation. "What is it you want of me, Dukat?"
"Oh I think you know precisely what I want, doctor," breathed
Dukat, his expression suddenly predatory as he decided he had the
doctor sufficiently off balance to proceed. "Garak generally has
exquisite taste in his choice of bedfellows - in that at least I have
to give him his due. But for him to devote so much time and attention
to you, a human, not even one of his own kind... Well, you must be very
special indeed, doctor, and I think it's time for me to find out for
myself just what it is that Garak finds so appealing about you." Dukat's
pale eyes glittered with suddenly awakened lust and his hot breath
caressed Julian's cheek as he leaned in closer. The doctor's terror
threatened to overwhelm him.
"No!" he whispered in protest. "No, I don't want you, Dukat. I
told you that before. This achieves nothing. Please, just let me go."
He looked around wildly, trying to control his rising panic, but there
was nowhere for him to go. As Dukat moved closer still Julian found
himself pushed inexorably backwards until he fetched up against the
wall. The Cardassian eyed him appreciatively, noting the fearful
expression on his delightfully flushed face, the rapid rise and fall
of his chest and, most tantalising of all, the growing erection which
now strained deliciously at the front of the doctor's uniform.
"Ah, doctor, I don't think you're being entirely honest with me,
are you?" purred Dukat. Julian looked back at him helplessly, only too
aware of the way in which his body was once again betraying him, and
hating himself for it. Why was he so aroused? Why had he reacted like
this to Dukat that last time in the Infirmary too? Dear God, it wasn't
as if he were so starved of sexual contact he needed to satisfy himself
with anyone who cared to take him... But surely he didn't really feel
anything for Dukat. No! It was Garak he wanted, not Dukat. At the
thought of the tailor Julian closed his eyes, suddenly fighting back
tears. Whatever would Elim say if he knew how totally he had betrayed
him?
"Dukat, please stop this," he begged. "I know you hate Garak
for whatever it was he did to your father, that you blame him for his
death, but this isn't the answer."
"Why don't you just relax, doctor?" said Dukat, ignoring his
plea. He was plainly enjoying Julian's fear and unwitting arousal,
relishing the control he was able to exert over the doctor's emotions.
"I'm told I have some skill in these matters. I'm certain that you will
find this a most pleasurable experience, and surely Garak won't begrudge
me your delightful company for just a little while. He may even enjoy
watching us together. Voyeurism always was one of his special talents."
"You're recording this?" Julian stared at the Cardassian in
horror. He felt physically sick at the thought of Garak seeing him with
Dukat, knowing how easily he'd been aroused...
"Of course, doctor, I wouldn't want Garak to miss a single
moment of this," said Dukat triumphantly. "He has so few things left to
him now and I intend to take from him the one he values the most - you."
"Oh God," murmured Julian helplessly, "Elim, I'm sorry..." He
had no time to say more as Dukat pinned him firmly against the wall,
pressing his hard muscled body to him, inflaming his treacherous
erection still further. Like a hawk stooping to its prey Dukat bent his
head, closing his cruel mouth over the doctor's.
Julian struggled, but the Cardassian's superior physical
strength held him in place. Dukat's hands roved lazily over the doctor's
resisting body, finally moving to unfasten the front of his uniform.
Julian fought him every inch of the way, but couldn't prevent the blue
and black jumpsuit from being stripped from him. As the doctor continued
to resist Dukat tired of indulging him and grabbing hold of the lavender
undershirt he simply ripped it apart along the seam. Julian gasped in
shock as the tattered fabric was peeled from his torso. He stood before
Dukat clad only in his briefs, shivering uncontrollably.
"Now, are you going to be sensible, doctor, or shall I remove
them the same way?" enquired Dukat menacingly.
"No, I'll do it. Don't touch me," said Julian, his voice barely
more than a whisper. With unwilling hands he pulled off his briefs,
dropping them to the floor with the rest of his clothing. It took all
his control to resist the temptation to cover himself with his hands as
Dukat surveyed him with barely suppressed hunger. The Cardassian's own
arousal was becoming increasingly apparent. It seemed he was deriving
more than a little pleasure from his act of revenge.
"Well, doctor, I must compliment Garak on his excellent taste,"
said Dukat huskily. "You really are quite exquisite..." He reached out,
caressing Julian's erection lightly with one hand. Slowly he ran his
fingers along the shaft to the head, savouring the desperate moan which
the doctor couldn't entirely suppress at his touch. Pleased with the
reaction he was provoking the Cardassian ran his other hand gently over
Julian's chest, teasing his nipples with skilled fingers. An involuntary
shudder ran through the younger man's slender frame and with an effort
he pulled away from the enticing caresses.
"No, don't touch me, Dukat!" he pleaded once more, horrified at
the way his body was submitting to Dukat's seductive advances. Finding
himself momentarily free Julian ducked past the Cardassian, into the
centre of the room. He couldn't just allow himself to be backed into a
corner and raped without the slightest resistance! Dukat, however, had
no intention of letting him escape his attentions for long. Swiftly he
advanced on Julian again, shooting out a hand to grab his arm in a
vice-like grip.
"Oh no, I haven't finished with you yet, doctor," he hissed,
giving the doctor's arm a vicious twist that brought him to his knees.
"I thought perhaps you would choose to make this easy on yourself, but
apparently not. Well, so be it." Releasing him Dukat turned his
attention to his own uniform, quickly freeing himself from its confines.
Julian looked up at him, curious in spite of himself. Dukat was taller
and slimmer than Garak, his muscles sharply defined under his leathery,
grey skin. He was also, at that moment, very much aroused, his
impressively erect sex poised just out of the doctor's reach. Julian
found himself fighting the sudden urge to take it into his mouth and
lick and suck at it until Dukat was the one gasping and moaning with
pleasure. He was saved from a humiliating capitulation as the
Cardassian leaned down, hauling him unceremoniously back to his feet.
Julian flinched as Dukat pulled him roughly into a tight
embrace. The sensation of the Cardassian's firm erection thrusting
forcefully against his own made his head spin as he struggled to repress
his body's instinctive reaction. No, he wouldn't give Dukat the
satisfaction of drawing a response from him this time! The Cardassian's
mouth closed over his own again and he fought to keep his lips pressed
tightly together, refusing entry to Dukat's questing tongue. He might
even have succeeded had Dukat not chosen that particular moment to
slide his hands down over Julian's smooth backside, slipping two fingers
firmly inside him.
The doctor gasped a protest at the sudden invasion and Dukat's
tongue immediately pushed deeply into his mouth. Julian nipped sharply
at it with his teeth, but his actions only seemed to excite Dukat
further. The Cardassian ground his hips against the doctor's, pushing
him ever closer to the brink. At the same time his fingers continued
to plunge into him in a steady rhythm. Julian struggled ineffectually,
trying to pull free before his body betrayed him completely, but Dukat
held him in a relentless grip.
The Cardassian released Julian's mouth, pulling back far enough
to see his face. The younger man's expression was one of abject
humiliation.
"Ah, doctor, you're not enjoying this it seems," he observed
sardonically. "Perhaps this will be more to your taste then." Carefully
Dukat took Julian's throbbing erection into his hand, massaging it
firmly. His touch was too much for the doctor's fragile control. A loud
moan escaped his lips and his body convulsed as waves of pleasure broke
over him. Angry tears burned trails down Julian's cheeks as he clutched
desperately at Dukat, trying to stay on his feet as his knees buckled
under him.
Dukat smiled unpleasantly and abruptly let go of Julian. The
doctor collapsed at the Cardassian's feet, shivering violently as the
warm glow of his climax faded. Dukat could hear his quiet sobbing, but
the sound left him completely unmoved. He crouched down beside Julian,
quickly turning his unresisting body onto his stomach. He felt he had
accomplished everything he had set out to achieve, proving a point to
both the doctor and Garak - at least he would have done once the tailor
saw the recording. So, now he had the leisure to attend to his own
satisfaction.
Julian no longer made any attempt to resist as Dukat's hands
moved impersonally over his backside. He had already utterly betrayed
Garak, making precious little effort to stop what was happening to him,
taking pleasure in it even. What was the point in fighting now? He had
already cheapened himself and his relationship with the tailor beyond
any hope of redemption, so why invite further retribution from Dukat?
It was better to simply remain passive, allowing Dukat to do whatever he
wanted. He would detach his mind from what was happening to his body
and hope that it would all be over soon.
In a daze the doctor felt Dukat move to kneel between his legs
and was dimly aware of the Cardassian's fingers slipping into him again,
readying him. With a vague sense of relief he registered the coolness
of a lubricant on his skin. Nevertheless a brief cry of pain escaped him
as Dukat pushed his erection roughly inside him, stretching him
uncomfortably as he began to thrust firmly. The Cardassian ignored the
feeble protest, not caring how much he might hurt the doctor. Overloaded
with sensation, Julian's mind finally switched off and he felt nothing
more as Dukat carelessly used him for his own pleasure.
When Julian came back to himself a while later he found he was
alone. Dukat, together with the incriminating data clip, was nowhere
to be seen. With an effort he pulled himself to his feet, swaying
unsteadily. He felt stiff and sore and as he glanced down at himself he
was disgusted at the sight of his stained and sweaty skin. A wave of
nausea swept over him and he dashed for the bathroom where he was
violently sick. As he rinsed the unpleasant aftertaste from his mouth
Julian caught sight of himself in the mirror.
His hair was a tousled mess, errant strands plastered to his
damp forehead. His face was unnaturally pale, except around his eyes,
where the skin was red and swollen from weeping. He regarded his
reflection with distaste. God he looked awful! Julian wanted nothing
more than to climb into the shower and wash away the lingering traces
of Dukat's touch from his skin, but not here where the Cardassian
might return at any moment.
Julian hurried back into the main room and quickly gathered up
his scattered clothing. He struggled into it as fast as he could. The
ripped undershirt was unwearable so he pulled the jumpsuit close about
his neck to hide the fact that it was missing. Finally he snatched up his
discarded med-kit. To his relief the door wasn't locked. Evidently Dukat
had finished with him. He bolted from the room and made for his own
quarters, oblivious to the startled looks his dishevelled appearance
drew from the people he passed. Once safely inside the doctor locked the
door and stripped off his uniform.
He switched on the shower and stepped into the small cubicle,
simply allowing the hot water to flow over him. As he slowly began to
relax a little Julian started to shiver, the delayed shock of his ordeal
claiming him. Unwanted an image of Garak formed in his mind. How would
he ever be able to face him now? Then again that might not be a problem.
Once the tailor had seen Dukat's data clip the chances were he wouldn't
be able to bring himself to talk to the doctor again.
Julian clasped his arms tightly across his slim chest, trying
to still the tremors which coursed through him. He found himself wishing
desparately that Garak were here with him now, holding him close,
stroking his hair softly, reassuring him that everything was alright...
Just who was he trying to fool? Dukat had tainted him, destroying
everything he had shared with the tailor. Garak would never want anything
more to do with him now. Julian felt suddenly more alone than he ever had
in his life and a deep chill permeated his body in spite of the hot water
which still cascaded over him.
The tears spilled over once more and Julian fought them angrily.
He couldn't allow himself the luxury of feeling anything now. He
scrubbed viciously at his skin, needing to eradicate every trace of
Dukat's touch, real or imagined. By the time he finally stepped from the
shower his entire body was red and sore. He grabbed a towel, drawing
its soft folds protectively around him. He padded into his bedroom and
threw himself down onto the bed. Finally exhausted, physically and
emotionally, he quickly fell into a disturbed sleep.
******
Garak unlocked the door to his shop and stepped inside. He
moved across to his desk, mentally listing all the things he needed to
do today. He glanced down at his terminal, reaching out to activate its
display and stopped short, frowning. Lying beside it was a data clip,
nothing remarkable in itself, but an oddity nonetheless as Garak knew
with absolute certainty that it hadn't been there when he left the shop
the previous night. He quickly scanned the interior of the shop, but
nothing else was out of place. Whoever it was that had got past his
security system had evidently only wished to deliver the data clip
anonymously.
He picked it up and stood staring at it for a long moment,
turning it over and over in his hands. Finally curiosity got the better
of him and he slipped it into the viewer as he switched on the terminal.
The data clip contained a single file and the tailor quickly accessed it.
For a moment the screen remained dark, but then an image resolved
itself, an altogether familiar figure - Julian. Garak leaned forward, a
puzzled look on his face. What was this? A few seconds later his
expression changed to one of anger as a second person appeared on the
screen. What in hell was Dukat doing in the same room as Julian - alone?
All too soon Garak learned the answer to that question as he
watched Dukat make his first approach to the clearly aroused doctor. For
a second the tailor believed the promptings of his earlier jealousy, but
then he registered the look on Julian's face. The doctor was plainly
terrified... Garak slammed his hand down, cutting off the playback. He
sat stricken for a long moment, uncertain what to do next. Part of him
wanted to destroy the data clip without watching the recording, but in
his heart he knew he couldn't do that. Denying its existence wouldn't
change whatever had happened and despite his deep misgivings he had to
know what Dukat had done to his beloved Julian.
With a decisive gesture Garak snatched up the data clip and
headed for the door. Whatever the recording contained he had to watch
it, but he couldn't risk doing so here in his shop in case he were
disturbed. He locked up once more behind him - DS9 could survive without
his services for one day - and hurried off towards his quarters. So
agitated was he that he never noticed the tall figure watching him from
the shadows of another shop doorway.
Dukat looked after the tailor's retreating back with a smile of
satisfaction. Everything was falling into place, precisely as he had
intended it should. Soon Garak's cosy little relationship with Doctor
Bashir would be in pieces. Looking inordinately pleased with himself
Dukat stepped from concealment and crossed the Promenade, heading for
Quark's. Even though it was a little early in the morning he felt he owed
himself a celebratory glass of kanaar.
Garak reached his quarters and quickly let himself inside,
stopping only to place a privacy lock on the door. He moved swiftly
across to his desk and seating himself in front of his terminal called
up the mysterious file once more. Again he was confronted with the
disturbing image of Julian's terrified face. It rapidly became apparent
that the doctor's terror was well justified as Dukat advanced menacingly
on him.
On screen the doctor's lips moved, but Garak couldn't make out
the words. He touched a control on his terminal, wanting to hear what
was being said and hoping it might give some clue to how this situation
had arisen. The volume increased in time for him to hear clearly the
desparate apology Julian had uttered as Dukat moved to pin him against
the wall, holding him immobile and halting his frantic struggles. "Elim,
I'm sorry..." Garak's throat constricted as he realised the doctor must
have known not only that he was being recorded, but also what Dukat
intended to do with the recording afterwards.
The tailor's eyes closed. This time Dukat had gone too far, but
what could he do? If he went to Odo or Commander Sisko they would
doubtless insist on viewing the file themselves by way of proof. He had
no illusions about his standing here on the station; they would never
simply take his word for it. Garak knew he could never make Julian's
ordeal public in that way. It would be a betrayal of trust and he had
no desire to humiliate the doctor still further. There had to be some
other way.
With an effort Garak forced himself to open his eyes and
continue watching as the sordid drama played itself out on the screen
in front of him. Julian had had no choice but to endure Dukat's
attentions, the least he could do was to watch and then hope to find
some means to comfort the doctor. Perhaps if he knew what had happened
to Julian it would be easier for him to find the right words...
Now Dukat was caressing the naked Julian's erection, making him
tremble in a way that was all too familiar to Garak. With a sickening
shock the tailor realised his own sex was growing hard in response to
the images on the screen. He groaned, ashamed at his reaction to what
the doctor was enduring. This wasn't some holosuite program. How could
he possibly allow himself to become aroused by this? His beloved Julian
was being assaulted, no raped, before his eyes and he was getting
turned on by it... How low had he sunk?
Garak slammed his hand hard against the desk, furious with
himself. His attention was dragged unwillingly back to the recording.
Dukat was also naked now; in spite of himself Garak had to admire his
magnificent physique as he thrust himself against Julian's resisting
body. The tailor could feel his own erection straining at the confines
of his clothing, pulsing agonisingly as Dukat brought Julian to his
climax and then callously released him to fall at his feet.
With a cry of frustration Garak unfastened his trousers,
slipping his hands inside to grasp his errant sex. As he watched the
image of Dukat roughly penetrate the doctor's passive, prone form he
began to stroke himself. Tears of shame rolled unheeded down Garak's
smooth, grey cheeks as he unconsciously matched the rhythm of his
caresses to that of Dukat's thrusts. Blindly the tailor pushed himself
closer and closer to the peak, desparately trying to blot out the
reality of Julian's ravishment. Garak's own cry of release mingled with
the recorded sounds of Dukat's satisfaction.
When the tailor came back to himself the screen was dark, the
recording ended. He stared at it blankly as he tried to rationalise
what had just happened to him. Garak laid his arms on the desk before
him looking in disgust at his hands, coated with the sticky residue of
his climax. In sudden pain he buried his face against his forearm,
weeping bitterly. Julian had been raped and all he could think of was
his own pleasure! Besides which this whole mess was his fault in the
first place. He was the one Dukat was trying to destroy, but it was
Julian who had been caught in the crossfire and made to suffer.
Thinking of the doctor made Garak wonder abruptly where he was
now. Had Dukat let him go? He knew that he had to see him, to apologise
to him for allowing this to happen. Why had he ever let him be alone
while Dukat was on the station? It occured to him as well that Julian
might blame himself for what had happened and Garak hated to think what
that might do to his self esteem. Quickly the tailor wiped his hands and
rearranged his disordered clothing, hiding the traces of his shameful
arousal. Then, snatching up the data clip, he hurried from his quarters,
heading for the Infirmary.
******
A TASTE FOR VENGEANCE - Part Three
----------------------------------
Garak entered the Infirmary and found it apparently deserted.
He made his way through to the office and was surprised to find not
Julian but his nurse - Sedi he seemed to recall her name was - sitting
behind the desk. She looked up as he came in, a faint frown creasing
her brow.
"I'm sorry, but I was looking for Doctor Bashir," he said
politely, remembering the young woman's disapproval at finding him with
Julian several days earlier. He was too anxious to locate the doctor to
want to get into a needless argument now.
"Doctor Bashir won't be in the Infirmary today I'm afraid, Mr
Garak," Sedi informed him. "He called in a little while ago to say he
was feeling unwell."
"That's not like the doctor," said Garak as calmly as he could.
"Did he happen to say what was wrong with him?" he could not forbear
from asking.
"He believes it's a reaction to something he ate," replied
Sedi non-committally. "He had a disturbed night and felt it was better
if he slept it off today. Now, is there anything _I_ can help you
with, Mr Garak?"
"What?" asked Garak distractedly, as the implications of Julian
actually feeling unable to get through his shift slowly sank in. "No -
thank you, you've already been most helpful, my dear." With that the
tailor turned and hurried out, leaving Sedi looking after him in
puzzlement.
Garak's mind was racing as he entered the turbolift that would
take him to the habitat ring. Julian never shirked his duties as the
station's Chief Medical Officer. His experience with Dukat must have
affected him even more deeply than the tailor had feared for him to shut
himself away in his quarters now. A "disturbed night" - Garak seriously
doubted that even began to do justice to what Julian had most likely been
going through.
Anger and concern warred for precedence as Garak made his way
through the maze of corridors. Dukat had really overstepped the mark
this time. He couldn't be allowed to go unpunished, but how to deal with
him without subjecting Julian to the humiliation of his colleagues
knowing that he had been raped? Garak sighed deeply and put the matter
aside for the time being. His main concern now was to help the doctor
come to terms with what had happened to him and to reassure him that
he didn't have to cope with the consequences alone.
Garak found himself outside Julian's quarters and touched the
door chime. There was no reply and he regarded the closed door with
disquiet. After a moment's hesitation he tried to open it, but it was
locked. He activated the chime a second time, and still getting no reply
his concern began to grow. Surely Julian wouldn't have done anything
foolish....
"Julian, are you in there?" he called anxiously. "I'd like to
talk to you. Are you alright?" The silence stretched on, but finally
was broken by the doctor's quiet words.
"Is that you, Elim?" he asked tentatively. Garak's heart lurched
as he heard the fear in Julian's voice.
"Yes, it's me, Julian. Please let me in," the tailor replied
gently.
"What do you want? I - I'm really not feeling very well,"
murmured the doctor. "Can't it wait?"
"No, I don't think so. Do you?" Garak sighed deeply. "We really
need to discuss what happened - now." Once again silence greeted his
words, but a moment later the door finally slid open. Relieved he
stepped inside, and found himself in almost total darkness. As the door
closed again behind him he looked around and at last located Julian. He
was standing stiffly on the far side of the room, clad in a blue robe
instead of his habitual uniform. Slowly Garak approached him, until he
was close enough to see the doctor's face. What he saw almost made him
cry aloud in protest.
Julian's skin had an unhealthy pallor to it and around his eyes
were dark, bruised circles. He hadn't shaved and his hair was plastered
to his skull in total disarray. He regarded Garak warily, his eyes,
normally so alive were lightless, dead, his expression haunted. The
tailor had never seen him look so tired, so utterly defeated.
"Julian..." Garak's voice shook and he reached out a hand to
touch the doctor. He was shocked when a look of terror crossed the
younger man's face and he backed out of reach.
"What do you want, Elim?" With an effort Julian repeated his
earlier question. Wordlessly Garak held out the data clip he had been
clutching unheeded in his hand. Slowly, with trembling fingers, the
doctor took it from him, staring at it as if it might suddenly sprout
fangs and bite him. At length he looked up, but he studiously avoided
meeting Garak's eyes.
"You've watched this," he said flatly - a statement, not a
question. The tailor nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Julian
considered him for a long moment before turning away. "Well, thank you
for bringing this to me. I - wouldn't want anyone else to see it," he
added stiffly. "It's alright - you can go now. You don't have to stay
here any more." Garak's eyes widened in disbelief.
"You're sending me away?" said the tailor in a choked voice.
"Julian, can't we talk about this? I know it was my fault, but..."
"What is there to talk about?" came the doctor's harsh reply.
"Dukat raped me. It's as simple as that. No doubt you think I deserved
it; well maybe I did. I had the chance to leave and I didn't take it.
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to resist him, but what can you
expect? I'm just a weak human, no match for a Cardassian..."
"Julian, please stop! Why are you doing this?" cried Garak
painfully.
"I'm trying to make it easy for you to walk out the door, Elim,"
said Julian bitterly. "I know you don't want to be here, how could you?
I can understand that."
"You're wrong," insisted the tailor. "I'm not leaving you. I
want to help you get through this. What happened is my fault. I should
never have left you alone while Dukat was here. If I'd been with
you..." Slowly Julian turned, staring hungrily at Garak, the faintest
spark of hope lighting in his eyes.
"Do you really mean that, Elim?" he asked in a small voice.
"Of course I do, my foolish young friend. After seeing what
Dukat did to you..." Garak's voice broke as he remembered exactly what
effect watching the recording on the data clip had had on him. He
chased the errant thought from his mind. "Julian, I wouldn't abandon
you." Carefully Garak approached the doctor once more. He saw him
fight the urge to flee from him again and slowly held out his arms to
the younger man. With a cry of relief Julian stepped into his embrace
and Garak pulled him close, holding onto him protectively as he felt
him trembling.
Julian laid his head on the tailor's shoulder and surrendered
to the luxury of tears. Garak gently stroked the dark, tousled curls,
soothing the doctor as he would a child. Damn Dukat and his uncaring
cruelty! Julian didn't deserve to be hurt like this. With infinite
tenderness the tailor touched his lips to the doctor's stubbled cheek,
feeling its unaccustomed roughness.
"Elim, don't - please..." Julian's panicked voice startled him
and he drew back. The doctor raised his head, his dark eyes still
overflowing with tears. He tried to avoid Garak's intense blue gaze,
but the tailor caught his chin, forcing him to look at him. The terror
radiating from the younger man shocked the Cardassian.
"Julian, I won't hurt you," he said softly.
"I know. I'm sorry, Elim," came the miserable reply. "I - I
just can't get the image of Dukat out of my mind. It really isn't you
I'm running away from."
"It's alright. I understand, and I won't do anything that makes
you feel uncomfortable," Garak assured him. He resumed his gentle
caresses, touching Julian only lightly. Slowly he felt the doctor begin
to relax against him once more. "Do you want to talk about it?" he
asked at length.
"No - yes, oh God, I'm really not sure," murmured Julian
painfully. "You saw the recording, Elim. You know what happened. I
didn't even try to fight him!" Abruptly the doctor pulled out of Garak's
protective embrace, turning away to begin pacing agitatedly back and
forth across the room.
"If you'd tried harder to fight him he might well have hurt
you a great deal more," said the tailor reasonably.
"That's not the point!" protested Julian. "Not only did I not
fight him, I got an erection the moment he came near me. I don't
believe you didn't see that. I have no idea why, but my body wanted
him. God, I almost came the first time he touched me..."
Julian's mouth twisted in a grimace of disgust as he stopped
his furious pacing and turned to face the tailor. Garak stood quietly,
understanding what the doctor was feeling. He still felt bitterly
ashamed himself; confused by the impulses that had led him to make
himself come while watching the recording on the data clip. He sighed
deeply.
"Julian, you have nothing to reproach yourself for," said the
Cardassian firmly.
"Yes I do," insisted Julian. "That wasn't the worst thing."
"You don't have to tell me anything more, Julian," said Garak
softly. "Whatever it was it doesn't matter to me. None of it was your
fault." The tailor found himself feeling more of a hypocrite with every
passing second as the doctor offered up his secrets.
"Well it does matter to me," said Julian desperately. "Our
relationship is too important to me... I can't lie to you, Elim. I need
you to understand, because I don't. I - when Dukat undressed, when I saw
his erection... All I could think of was taking it in my mouth. I wanted
to touch him, to taste him so badly... If he hadn't dragged me up off
the floor I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. God, I was so
disgusted with myself. What if Dukat had realised what I wanted to do?
It makes me sick to think about it. How can you bear to touch me, Elim?
I've taken so many showers since last night, but I still feel so dirty.
Why do you still want to be here with me?"
As the words poured out Julian covered his face with his hands.
He didn't want to look at Garak, didn't want to see the dawning
disillusionment and disgust in his eyes. But those feelings were absent
from the tailor's expression; instead his whole being radiated
mortification. While Julian opened his heart to him he still clung to
his own shameful little secret. Slowly he moved to where the doctor
stood so dejectedly and reaching up caught hold of his hands, pulling
them away from his face.
"Julian, listen to me," he said with quiet conviction, "there
is nothing dirty or disgusting about what you felt. The situation you
were in - it simply overwhelmed you. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
And believe me, I would like nothing more than to touch you - if you'll
let me." The doctor stared at him in mute disbelief and Garak squeezed
his hands reassuringly. "I know Dukat hurt you," he continued, "but I
will do anything in my power to make that pain go away. I'd like to
think that what we have is strong enough to survive what's happened. I
don't love you any the less because of it."
"I want to let you touch me, Elim, but when you do it scares
me," admitted Julian. "I just keep thinking this can't be real, that
you'll somehow turn into Dukat and the whole thing will happen all over
again. Every time I went to sleep last night I started dreaming about
it, and each time I woke up I had to go back in the shower. It felt as
if his hands had been touching me again and I couldn't rest until I'd
washed every trace of him off me."
"I do understand, Julian," said Garak, his heart going out to
the young doctor. "Will you let me try?" Hesitantly Julian nodded and
the tailor released his hands, pulling him back into a loose embrace.
Very gently he brushed his lips against the doctor's cheek, then his
forehead and his fluttering eyelids before slowly moving to kiss his
mouth. Garak felt him tense and kept the pressure of his lips light,
non-threatening. Eventually he was rewarded by a slight, instinctive
response and carefully deepened the kiss.
The gesture seemed to release something in Julian and his arms
swiftly encircled the tailor, pulling him into a fierce hug. At the
same time he began to return Garak's kiss with a desperate passion. The
suddenness of his arousal startled the Cardassian, but he readily
followed Julian's lead. He was relieved that the doctor had finally
dropped his guard and willing to do whatever the younger man asked of
him.
To Julian it felt as if a shadow had been lifted from him.
Garak still wanted him, still loved him - the tailor's responses left
him in no doubt of that - and his own body warmed in its turn. What he
had felt when Dukat touched him still sickened the doctor, but Garak's
caresses were so different that he no longer felt the urge to retreat
from them. His own desires, which had so horrified him when awakened by
Dukat, seemed perfectly natural again now that they were directed at
Garak. The tailor cared about him, and in his arms sex was something
to be enjoyed, not simply endured.
With a new-found eagerness Julian began to undress Garak. His
fingers pulled open the tailor's shirt and slid it from his shoulders.
He trailed a hand across the leathery, grey skin of the Cardassian's
broad chest and down to his taut stomach, finally pausing to unfasten
his trousers. To his surprise he felt the tailor flinch as he bent to
remove them. He glanced up, wondering at Garak's reticence and saw a
dark flush colouring his cheeks.
"Elim?" His questioning tone only provoked a guilty look from
the tailor and Julian returned his attention to undressing him.
Nevertheless he was frankly curious about the Cardassian's strange
reaction. Unexpectedly Garak's hand came down lightly on his shoulder
and he looked up once more.
"Please don't do that, Julian," murmured the tailor, "there's
something I have to tell you first."
"I don't understand," said the doctor, confused. He stood up,
meeting Garak's hesitant blue gaze. The tailor regarded Julian
uncomfortably, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to tell him. To
delay the moment a little longer he took hold of the doctor's hand and
led him across to the bed. Julian settled himself, leaning back against
the pillows, Garak at his side, and waited for the Cardassian to
continue.
"Julian, you know that I watched Dukat's recording, don't you?"
he said at last. Julian's expression darkened.
"Yes, you already told me that, Elim, what..." Garak held up a
hand, silencing him.
"There's something you need to know," continued the tailor
slowly, "something that happened. I..." Garak's voice faltered and
Julian looked at him in concern, his own fears momentarily forgotten.
He reached out, laying his hand reassuringly against the tailor's
smooth, grey cheek.
"Please tell me, Elim, what is it?" said the doctor softly.
Garak looked at him helplessly.
"I couldn't stop myself," he admitted painfully. "When Dukat
took you... I just couldn't help it. You looked so beautiful, so
helpless and fragile... and when he made you come..." Garak's voice
trailed off in embarrassment, but he had said enough for Julian to
understand what he was trying so hard to admit.
"When you saw what Dukat did to me you got turned on by it," he
said disbelievingly. *Oh God!*
"Yes!" cried Garak in shame. "I didn't want to believe it was
happening, but I got so hard, and in the end I just had to touch
myself. Even though I couldn't bear to see what Dukat was doing to you
I still made myself come. Julian, I'm sorry."
Abruptly Julian realised that was why the tailor hadn't wanted
him to remove his trousers. Garak had been afraid of him finding the
revealing traces of his self-gratification. The doctor met the tailor's
troubled gaze steadily. Garak looked so ashamed that Julian's heart went
out to him. His initial reaction had been one of shock and disgust, but
he knew that was unfair. He could all too easily understand what had
happened to the tailor. After all, his own responses to Dukat had been
every bit as intense - and equally unwanted.
Julian removed his hand from Garak's cheek and saw the misery
in the tailor's clear blue eyes at his withdrawal. Still without
speaking the doctor turned his attention back to Garak's remaining
clothing. Quickly he pulled the trousers and underclothes from the
Cardassian's unresisting body. The leathery, grey skin of his belly was
coated with his dried ejaculate, making it feel slightly rough under
the doctor's fingers. Julian felt Garak's stomach muscles trembling with
tension as he gently ran his hand over them and down to his quiescent
sex, which he began to stroke lightly.
"Oh, Elim," he sighed, "you didn't have to be ashamed of this. I
understand only too well."
"But you were being hurt and I was taking pleasure from it,"
protested Garak.
"No you weren't," Julian demurred. "You were coping with what
you saw in the best way you knew how. I can't blame you for that." Garak
would have objected further, but Julian placed his fingers softly
against his lips, silencing him.
Slowly Garak felt himself begin to respond to the doctor's
delicate caresses. Despite Julian's assurances he was still ashamed of
his actions, but gradually he started to relax - what was happening
_now_ was more important. Impulsively he reached for the doctor,
pulling him down on top of him and easing the blue robe from his lithe
body. He heard the younger man's contented sigh and felt a deep warmth
steal through him as he understood that this time Julian was not going
to withdraw from him. Dukat's efforts had been in vain - what he and
Julian shared was too strong to be torn apart by a single act of jealous
cruelty.
Garak tightened his arms around the doctor, drawing his slender
frame close. He could feel Julian's sex growing firmer, pressing against
his groin. The delicious sensation drew a despairing moan from him. The
younger man rubbed his stubbled cheek lightly against the Cardassian's
smooth one, nuzzling against him affectionately. With studied languor
Julian nibbled at Garak's eyeridges, probing the most sensitive spots
until the tailor writhed helplessly under him.
When the doctor's skilled mouth finally withdrew Garak was
breathing hard and his erection throbbed painfully. Sensing the tailor's
need Julian slid down until his mouth encountered the Cardassian's
pulsing sex. Carefully he traced its contours with long, sensual strokes
of his tongue. With agonising slowness he licked a trail along the shaft
to the head, concentrating his attentions there lovingly. Garak arched
his back, nearly overwhelmed by the intensity of the sensations elicited
by the doctor's actions. Unperturbed Julian continued his leisurely
exploration, enjoying the tailor's uninhibited responses. When it became
apparent that Garak was on the verge of losing control the doctor closed
his mouth over the Cardassian's burning erection. He exploded into
orgasm almost immediately, his whole body trembling with the force of
his release.
When Garak was capable of rational thought again he looked up
to find Julian sitting watching him, a look of tender indulgence on
his face. The tailor met his eyes and smiled ruefully.
"Ah, Julian, I came here to see to your needs," he said with a
sigh, "and here am I imposing on you to indulge mine."
"I don't begrudge you your pleasure, Elim," the doctor chided
him gently. "Besides which, I enjoyed it too." Julian leaned forward,
kissing Garak warmly, and the tailor drew him down to lie at his side.
As the doctor settled himself more comfortably Garak reached for his
still unsatisfied erection. Relaxed and contented, he was quite
unprepared for Julian's sudden and violent withdrawal. He sat up,
shocked, as the doctor propelled himself rapidly off the bed, backing
up against the wall.
"Julian, what is it? What happened?" he asked, watching in
concern as the younger man shivered uncontrollably.
"I - I'm sorry," he stammered out at last, his voice tinged with
desperation. "It happened again, Elim. When you touched me like that I
- for a moment it wasn't you... It was like Dukat touching me again.
That was how _he_ made me come. Oh God, Elim, I'm so sorry. This just
isn't fair on you."
"Hush, Julian," soothed Garak. Carefully he eased himself off
the bed and approached the terrified young man. "Tell me what I can do.
What will make you feel better?"
"I don't know," said the doctor helplessly, his dark, velvet
eyes filling with tears. "All I do know is that when I feel as if I'm
in control it's alright, but when I didn't know what you were going to
do I panicked." Garak regarded him thoughtfully, an idea forming in his
mind.
"I understand," he said slowly, "and I have an idea that might
help. Do you trust me, Julian?"
"Yes, of course I do, Elim," the doctor looked at him askance.
"The problem is with me, not you. What do you have in mind?"
"It seems you need to relearn how to give up control to someone
else without fear. Well, you say you trust me, so I want you to let me
take control completely," said Garak gently. "I promise I won't do
anything to hurt you and I'll tell you exactly what I'm going to do, but
you have to do everything I ask." Julian's eyes widened fearfully, but
at last he nodded.
"I'm not sure if I can, but I'll try, Elim," he whispered. "What
do you want me to do?" Garak held out a hand to Julian and he took it
trustingly. The doctor's fingers felt like ice in his grasp.
"Come with me," said the tailor, smiling reassuringly at the
younger man. He led Julian towards the bathroom, pausing only to
retrieve the jar of lubricant he knew the doctor kept in a drawer by
his bed. "Now, you said the shower made you feel better, so I think we
should take one together," continued Garak, trying to keep his voice
bright and encouraging. Inside he was crying at the injustice of what
Julian was suffering, all because of Dukat's antipathy towards himself.
Garak released the doctor's hand and busied himself setting the
water running until its temperature suited him. Julian watched him
avidly; he wanted the tailor's idea to work. He hated the hurt he saw
in Garak's eyes when he pulled away from him. He knew the tailor didn't
blame him, but it couldn't be easy for him, not knowing whether his
advances would be welcomed or rejected. The rational part of Julian's
mind told him that this was Garak, not Dukat, and that it was quite
safe for him to respond, but for now his subconscious fears were too
compelling to allow him to react as he wished to.
"Thank you for doing this, Elim," he said softly to break the
suddenly oppressive silence. "I know this isn't any easier for you than
it is for me."
"Think nothing of it, my dear Julian," replied Garak lightly.
"Now, into the shower with you." He shooed the doctor into the small
cubicle as he would a recalcitrant child. Julian obeyed unhesitatingly
and waited for Garak to join him. The sensation of the warm water
flowing over him was soothing and he sighed slightly. The tailor took
that as his cue. "I'm going to join you now; don't be alarmed."
As good as his word the Cardassian stepped into the cubicle.
There was only just enough room for both men and Garak's body brushed
against Julian's as he moved in behind him. The tailor stilled, not
wanting to alarm the doctor, but Julian glanced over his shoulder with
a slight smile.
"It's alright, Elim," he assured him. "I'm okay so far. What
do you want me to do?"
"I just want you to relax, Julian," Garak instructed him. "In a
moment I'm going to touch you. If you want me to stop just tell me and
I will." Julian nodded his agreement and the tailor placed his hands
carefully on the doctor's shoulders. Slowly he began to massage the
tension from him, his fingers working firmly at the taut muscles of
Julian's neck. As the younger man made no protest Garak started to work
his way down his back, kneading the smooth, glistening flesh with his
strong, capable hands.
The warmth of the water as it cascaded down on him and the
relaxing massage conspired to help Julian unwind. A small sound of
pleasure escaped his throat and a delightful lethargy began to steal
over him. His head lolled back against Garak's shoulder, the leathery,
reptilian skin slick with moisture, and he felt the tailor's warm breath
tickling his cheek.
"Julian, I'm going to stop massaging now," whispered Garak. "I
want to try something a little more - intimate. Are you ready for that?"
"Mmmmmm, yes..." agreed the doctor dreamily. Garak slid one
hand down, gently caressing the silky soft skin of Julian's backside.
With the other hand he reached around to tease at each of his nipples
in turn. The doctor gasped as the new and intense sensations played
across his nerve endings. He moaned even louder as Garak's lips trailed
soft kisses along the graceful curve of his neck.
Garak could feel himself becoming steadily more aroused as
Julian's pleasure grew. He was well aware that, within the close
confines of the shower cubicle, it was only a matter of time before the
doctor became aware of his heightened state.
"Julian..." The tailor decided that honesty was the best policy
given the circumstances. "I really want to be inside you..." He felt
the doctor stir, turning until he could look through the curtain of
falling water into the Cardassian's guileless eyes.
"I know, Elim. I trust you..." said Julian softly. Garak
retrieved the small jar of lubricant and offered it to the doctor.
"Here, use as much of this as you want on me," he said simply.
"I don't want to hurt you at all." Julian accepted the jar and carefully
set to work spreading the cool gel along the length of the tailor's
erect sex. His touch was light and sensual and Garak couldn't contain
the sigh of pleasure it elicited. The sound brought a genuine smile to
the doctor's lips as he handed the jar of lubricant back to the tailor.
As Garak laid his hands on him again, Julian turned obediently
away from him. He braced himself against the wall of the cubicle and
concentrated on the comforting warmth of the water as it washed over
him. He felt Garak's erection press firmly against him and breathed
deeply to control his incipient panic. Faintly Julian heard the tailor
murmuring indistinct words of reassurance and love and then he was
entering him.
A part of Julian tensed in expectation of pain, a bruising
invasion, which didn't come. Instead he felt the familiar, satisfying
sensation of the tailor's hot, pulsing erection stretching and filling
him. He almost wept with relief as the immediate and vital presence of
Garak surrounded him with joy, finally enabling him to blot out the
nightmarish memory of Dukat.
Delighted with the rediscovered pleasure of holding Garak inside
him, Julian thrust back firmly with his hips. The sudden, sinuous
movement caught the tailor unawares.
"Julian?" he exclaimed, startled.
"I'm fine, Elim," the doctor assured him, his voice relieved.
"Oh God, what am I talking about - I'm much better than fine!" He began
to rock his hips rhythmically back and forth, drawing a low purr of
contentment from Garak. The tailor encircled Julian's waist with his
arms, clasping the younger man tightly to his broad chest as he thrust
firmly in time with his movements. As it became obvious that the doctor
no longer had any desire to flee from him Garak reached down to caress
his eager sex. Julian cried aloud at his touch, craving release.
Garak knew he could no longer hold off his own climax and
surrendered to the intense sensations sweeping through him. His delight
was compounded by the knowledge that Julian was enjoying this moment
every bit as much as he was. He laid his cheek against the doctor's
smooth shoulder as the tremors ran their course. The young man's
distinctively musky scent, seemingly intensified by the heat and
moistness of his skin, intoxicated him and he breathed it in deeply as
he slowly recovered his wits.
Julian's erection still throbbed achingly and Garak spun the
doctor round to face him. Sinking to his knees the tailor skilfully
employed his tongue and hands until Julian was writhing in ecstasy.
His fingers clutched convulsively at Garak's thick black hair, tangling
in its wetly shining fall. The tailor could sense how close Julian was
to his peak and he redoubled his efforts, encouraging him to finally
relinquish control with his firm, sensual strokes.
He was soon rewarded as Julian came with a desperate moan. The
doctor's hips thrust wildly as his creamy ejaculate spilled over Garak's
hands. His trembling went on for a long time as the tailor continued
caressing him affectionately, triggering a succession of aftershocks.
Finally his body went limp and Garak supported him tenderly as the
younger man sank down beside him. For a long moment both men sat
unmoving, each revelling in the closeness of the other, as the flow of
hot water from the shower cascaded over them.
Finally the tailor stirred, lovingly smoothing the disordered,
dark curls, glistening with droplets of moisture, back from Julian's
forehead. At the gentle touch the doctor smiled beatifically. He
captured one of Garak's hands in his own, bringing it to his lips.
Keeping his gaze locked with the tailor's he softly kissed the palm and
then each fingertip in turn, savouring his own scent and taste on the
Cardassian's damp skin. Garak swallowed hard as the deliberately
provocative gesture sent his senses spinning dizzily.
"Thank you, Elim," murmured Julian contentedly. Garak's lips
curved in a warm smile as the doctor's tongue continued to toy with
his fingers.
"And thank _you_, my darling Julian," he returned with feeling.
"But now might I suggest we find ourselves somewhere more comfortable,
and more spacious, to continue this - discussion." The doctor nodded
his approval and released Garak's hand, allowing him to help him from
the shower. Julian shivered as the water rapidly cooled on his body,
but in moments the tailor had him swathed in a large soft towel. He
padded back into the main room of his quarters in search of a hot,
soothing mug of Tarkalean tea.
Garak looked after him consideringly. The doctor seemed himself
again and the tailor hoped he truly had come to terms with his painful
experience. But what if Dukat were to try and attack him again? Garak
had little doubt that Dukat would continue to wage his campaign against
him. The old enmity had flared now into open hostility. It didn't seem
likely that he would back down, unless he could be - persuaded that it
was in his best interests to do so. A sudden notion occured to the
tailor. Perhaps there was a way to dissuade Dukat. Maybe by taking a
leaf out of his book Garak could ensure that he and Julian were left
in peace. A grim smile twisted the tailor's lips as he grabbed a towel
for himself and headed after the doctor.
******
A TASTE FOR VENGEANCE - Part Four
---------------------------------
Garak walked back into the main room of Julian's quarters,
pausing briefly to secure the towel around his waist. He looked around
for the doctor and found him reclining contentedly on the couch, a
steaming mug of Tarkalean tea cradled in his hands. He was staring
abstractedly into the depths of the clear liquid, but at the tailor's
approach he looked up, smiling. With feline grace the doctor shifted
his position, making room for him to sit down. Garak accepted the seat
and Julian stretched out lazily once more with his head resting in the
Cardassian's lap. He looked up into Garak's face and frowned as he
noticed his preoccupied expression.
"Elim, is there something wrong?" he asked anxiously."Everything
is alright now, isn't it?"
"What? Oh - no, nothing is wrong, Julian." The tailor dragged
himself out of his reverie, hurrying to allay the younger man's sudden
concern. "I was simply considering an idea that occured to me." Garak
glanced down at the doctor, a warm smile lighting his face. "I think I
may know a way to ensure that Dukat never troubles us again." Julian's
eyes widened in surprise.
"How?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
"It seems to me that if I were to give Dukat what he wants he
would have no further cause to harass either of us," said Garak calmly.
He raised a hand, forestalling the doctor's interruption. "However, I
also seem to recall an old saying that goes something like - 'be careful
what you wish for, you might just get it'," he concluded cryptically.
"I don't understand," said Julian, struggling back into a
sitting position and almost spilling his tea in the process. He set the
mug aside and regarded the tailor quizzically. "I thought what Dukat
wanted was to kill you, but I can't believe you're suggesting..."
"My dear Julian, I have no intention of commiting suicide I
assure you," interrupted Garak hurriedly. "No, I think that Dukat would
be prepared to settle for an opportunity to hurt and humiliate me."
"I'm sorry, but this still doesn't make sense to me," protested
Julian, shaking his head in confusion. "What exactly is it that you
propose?"
"I intend to invite Dukat to my quarters. If I tell him that,
in the light of recent events, I wish to resolve the issues between us
for once and for all I believe he'll agree to meet me," said Garak
with a faint smile. "Then, in return for his agreement to leave both of
us in peace in the future, I will place myself at his disposal for a
mutually acceptable period of time."
"What do you mean,'at his disposal'?" queried the doctor
anxiously.
"I will willingly submit to whatever humiliation he cares to
mete out for that time," said Garak with a slight shrug of his broad
shoulders. "Instead of him using you to hurt me he can work out at least
some of his anger..."
"Elim, what on Earth are you saying?" cried Julian, totally
horrified by what he was hearing. His velvet brown eyes widened with
shock as he stared at Garak disbelievingly. "He'll just kill you - and
even if he doesn't who knows what harm he'll do to you."
"Dukat wouldn't be so foolish as to try and kill me," said the
tailor soothingly, apparently quite unperturbed by the doctor's
reaction, "not here on DS9. He would know perfectly well that if
anything should happen to me you would go straight to Constable Odo.
All you would have to do is tell him everything that has transpired
recently and it would be quite obvious Dukat was to blame. No, he will
doubtless attempt to cause me as much hurt and humiliation as possible,
but nothing more than that. Besides, you haven't heard the rest of what I
propose yet, Julian."
"I'm not sure that I want to. It's just too much of a risk,
Elim, and I really don't see what's to stop him still coming back for
more," insisted Julian miserably, shaking his head. He stretched out a
hand, his long, slender fingers absently caressing the Cardassian's,
smooth grey cheek. "What makes you so sure he will go along with your
idea anyway?"
"I've known Dukat a long time, Julian," said Garak with a sigh.
He reached up, catching hold of the doctor's hand in his own and
bringing it to his lips. He kissed the soft fingertips gently before
continuing. "I know how his mind works. He won't be able to resist an
opportunity to have me literally at his mercy while I beg him to leave
you alone and do whatever he wants to me instead. I'm quite sure my
pride can withstand a few minor dents in such a good cause. So don't
worry on my account. In any event, his revenge will prove to be a
double edged sword."
"Yes, what is this other proposal of yours?" asked Julian,
curious in spite of himself. He searched the tailor's face, trying to
gauge what was going on behind those brilliant blue eyes.
"I plan to take a leaf out of Dukat's own book," replied Garak
equably. "I shall record the entire encounter. I believe it will be
possible, with a little judicious manipulation, to make it appear that
we are not enemies, but friends - more than friends even. You know of
course that Cardassian relationships are generally initiated by means
of antagonistic and aggressive behaviour. Such a recording, shown in
certain quarters, would prove - embarrassing at the least to Dukat."
Julian's face had gone pale at the first mention of recording
the meeting, as the suggestion once again recalled his own unpleasant
experience with Dukat and the data clip still lying on his desk. He
shuddered and pulled his fingers abruptly from Garak's lax grip.
"You mean you're going to blackmail him into leaving us alone
by threatening to show the recording to the Cardassian Central Command,
don't you," said Julian, looking faintly nauseous.
"Blackmail is such an ugly word, isn't it?" Garak demurred.
"I'm simply suggesting that the existence of such a recording would
give Dukat the necessary incentive to be co-operative. Julian, surely
you realise by now that Dukat has no scruples about resorting to such
means."
"And does that mean that we shouldn't either?" retorted Julian
miserably. Garak reached out, drawing the doctor into a reassuring
embrace and wondering as he did so if perhaps the young man wasn't
justified in his misgivings, and the whole idea as insane as it sounded
on reflection.
"My dear Julian, I assure you there's nothing to worry about,"
said the tailor at last as he gently stroked the doctor's damp hair.
"I can understand your reluctance..."
"No, Elim, I'm not sure that you do. After everything that's
happened you calmly announce that you're intending to present yourself
to Dukat and allow him to use you however he wants and then expect me
not to worry!" Julian's voice held a note of hysteria. "Elim, what do
you think I am? How could I not worry about you? No, this whole idea
is just too ridiculous - too dangerous. There has to be some better way
of keeping him away from us. And if it means I have to tell Odo or the
Commander about what Dukat did to me, well so be it. But I absolutely
forbid you to go through with this." Julian raised his head from where
it lay against against the Cardassian's broad chest and his expression
was determined as he faced the tailor, liquid brown eyes staring
steadily into clear blue.
"Julian," protested Garak in exasperation, "this is the best
way I can think of to make Dukat leave us alone. His ambition won't..."
"No!" said Julian adamantly. "If you have any regard for my
feelings at all you'll forget this whole ludicrous idea right now." He
continued glaring fiercely back at the Cardassian as if daring him to
disagree. At length the tailor sighed deeply and bowed his head in
acquiescence.
"Very well, if you insist," he agreed reluctantly. Julian's
relief was clearly evident and he hugged the Cardassian warmly. Garak,
however, was glad that the doctor couldn't read his mind at that moment.
Much as he hated the thought of deceiving Julian he couldn't help but
feel that his proposal offered a uniquely Cardassian solution to the
problem posed by Dukat. He closed his eyes as the doctor nibbled
affectionately at his neck ridges, trying to take the sting out of his
fierce opposition to Garak's suggestion. Even as the tailor allowed
his body to succumb to Julian's seductive ministrations his mind
resolved to put his plan into practice at the earliest possible
opportunity.
******
The following morning Garak sat restlessly at the desk in his
shop, staring at his terminal with unseeing eyes. It was done. He had
composed and sent his message to Dukat asking for a meeting and now
all he could do was wait as patiently as his nerves would allow for a
reply. If he were to be honest with himself, he would have to admit
that, deep in his heart, he was no longer sure if he wanted that
response to be in the affirmative or the negative. He sighed; it was
out of his hands now.
Garak turned his mind to more pleasant contemplation. His shop
had remained closed for the whole of the previous day while he spent
the time with Julian. Once he had helped the doctor to overcome his
initial fears in the wake of his rough handling by Dukat it had been a
most enjoyably diverting day... The tailor felt his body start to warm
and stir deliciously at the pleasurable memories and hurriedly set them
aside as too distracting - after all a customer might walk in at any
time!
The only thing that served to mar Garak's recollection of his
stolen day with Julian was their disagreement over his plan to entrap
Dukat. The doctor had been so set against the idea - and he had assured
him that he wouldn't go through with it. The Cardassian found he didn't
like deceiving Julian one little bit. He trusted him...
The terminal in front of him beeped insistently, startling Garak
out of his reverie. A message indicator flashed on the screen and he
quickly accessed it. It was Dukat's reply. The words burned themselves
into his vision. "Your proposal intrigues me, tailor. I will meet you
as you request, 1900 hours, tonight."
With a decisive gesture Garak deleted the message and swiftly
got to his feet. The stage had been set and the success or failure of
this venture was down to him now. His skilled mind raced; he had
preparations to make and he needed to find a plausible excuse for not
seeing Julian this evening. He sighed again at the sharp stab from his
conscience occasioned by the necessity for this deceit. Then he hurried
out of the shop, closing it up once more behind him.
******
1900 hours and the door chime sounded. Garak felt his heart
pounding, startled to discover just how apprehensive he was about the
coming encounter.
"Come," he called out, his finger pressing the button which
released the lock on his door and, at the same time, started the
recording device the tailor had set up. It was as well concealed as he
knew how to make it - with anyone other than a fellow Cardassian he
would have been certain that was good enough.
The door swooshed open and Dukat strode in, as imposing as ever.
He looked around him imperiously, taking in every detail of the single
room which now constituted Garak's home.
"What charming quarters you have here, Garak," he observed
sardonically, his eyes coming at last to rest on the solid figure of
the tailor.
"They serve my needs well enough," countered Garak, ignoring
the heavy sarcasm. "Now, can I offer you some refreshment? A drink
perhaps?"
"Such a gracious host," beamed Dukat insincerely. "I think I
should like a redleaf tea, if you please." Garak moved to the
replicator, using the simple, familiar action of ordering the drink to
steady himself. Dukat was a dangerous opponent; he needed all his wits
about him. The tailor was far more collected by the time he handed
over the mug of tea to Dukat and motioned him to take a seat. Carefully
he took a chair opposite his nemesis and regarded him steadily.
"I think you know why I asked you to come here," Garak began at
last.
"As I recall, tailor, you said that you wished to resolve
certain issues between us." A faint hint of amusement glittered in
Dukat's pale, clever eyes. "However, something tells me that you may
have a rather more personal reason for this summons." Garak's eyes
widened perceptibly. Did Dukat know what he had planned? How could he?
"I'm not sure I understand what you're implying, Dukat," he
said finally. "My reason for asking you here is exactly as I said.
This endless cycle of revenge upon revenge has gone on long enough. I
want an end to it and I intend to offer a solution..."
"Ah, Garak, you really are losing your touch," sighed Dukat
theatrically. "Back on Cardassia your motives would never have been so
painfully transparent."
"I'm sorry. What are you suggesting?" asked Garak, genuinely
startled.
"This isn't about past history, Garak, and you know it," replied
Dukat disdainfully. "This is about my - encounter with Doctor Bashir."
"Perhaps it is," admitted Garak somewhat unwillingly, "but the
fact remains that that was just another skirmish in a war that has
been going on for too long. Also, it seems to me that your attacks now
are always directed against those who have done nothing to harm you and
not against the person you claim to be trying to punish - me."
Dukat regarded Garak with renewed interest. The tailor was on
edge, there was no doubt of that, but for once in his life he actually
sounded sincere! *You really are going soft, tailor,* thought Dukat
viciously. *These years spent amongst Bajorans and humans have blunted
your instincts.*
"What is it that you propose then, Garak?" he continued out
loud.
"You have always said that you wanted to punish me for what
happened to your father," said Garak softly. "I'm offering you the
chance to do just that, here and now." This time it was Dukat's turn to
evince surprise. He sat forward, his intense gaze seeming to transfix
the tailor.
"What would you have me do?" There was no mistaking the
anticipation in Dukat as he stared intently at Garak who sat perfectly
still, apparently calm, only his eyes giving any hint of the turmoil
within.
"Whatever you wish," said the tailor dispassionately. "I will
let you do whatever you want - to me. I am the one your quarrel is
with, no one else. Of course, I should prefer it if you would stop
short of killing me..." Just a trace of Garak's dry humour surfaced in
the semi-serious comment and he continued to meet Dukat's burning gaze
steadily.
"I believe that would be acceptable to me," agreed Dukat coolly.
*Garak is prepared to place himself entirely in my hands!* he exulted
inwardly. *How are the mighty fallen! You're a fool, tailor, but I
shall enjoy revenging myself on your body...* His train of thought was
disturbed by Garak's quiet voice.
"There is just one condition," he said firmly.
"And that is...?" enquired Dukat haughtily. *I should have
known there would be strings attached - you don't have the courage to
place yourself truly in my hands!*
"If I am to submit to you I require your word that you will
leave Doctor Bashir alone in future," Garak's tone was deadly serious
and Dukat raised his eyeridges derisively at the tailor's proviso.
"So, you're still championing the good doctor then, Garak?" he
observed with undisguised amusement.
"What you did to Doctor Bashir was both cruel and quite
unnecessary. You have no quarrel with him," said Garak icily.
"I think you're forgetting that the doctor was responsible for
my deportation from Risa, Garak," Dukat pointed out.
"Nonsense!" snapped the tailor with asperity. "Your deportation
was due to your own stupidity, but then you always were accomplished at
blaming others for your own mistakes." The two Cardassians glared at one
another for a long moment until Dukat looked away with a studied shrug,
dispelling the tension. A strategic withdrawal, but he knew exactly how
to regain the upper hand and get right back under Garak's skin!
"What I chose to do to your precious doctor might, in your
opinion, have been unnecessary, Garak, but there is no denying it was -
a surprisingly enjoyable experience." Dukat's air of smug
self-satisfaction infuriated the tailor, as he had known that it would.
"Not for him, Dukat!" Garak's anger flared once more despite
his intention of remaining calm and not allowing Dukat to provoke him.
"I'm sorry, but I was under the distinct impression that Doctor
Bashir enjoyed my attentions." Dukat feigned surprise. "Are you sure you
watched my little recording properly, Garak? Or do you just not want to
admit to the truth? Humans really are surprisingly responsive, aren't
they? So much easier to arouse to passion than a Cardassian, don't you
think? I'm sure the subject would make for a fascinating study." Dukat
rose from his seat and approached Garak, eyeing him with barely
concealed amusement. "Does the good doctor arouse your passions, tailor?
Or do you yearn for the touch of one of your own kind perhaps...?"
Dukat leaned down until his face was mere inches from Garak's
own. All at once a rather different form of revenge had suggested itself
to him. In the light of recent events it should prove equally
humiliating for the tailor and perhaps even momentarily diverting for
himself. A predatory smile twisted his lips.
"Shall we find out?" he enquired lazily. Garak's eyes widened
in shock. Was Dukat seriously suggesting what he thought he was
suggesting? Dear God, anything but that! And yet if that was what Dukat
had in mind he had no choice but to submit or his plan would be in
ruins. The thought suddenly occurred to him that Julian had been right.
This had been a ludicrous idea, and was becoming more so by the minute!
Incongruously Garak found himself remembering an old human saying the
doctor had once quoted to him, something about spilt milk; it seemed
somehow appropriate to the situation. He had chosen to go ahead with
this idea in spite of Julian's misgivings and now he would have to pay
for his foolishness, but not at all in the way the doctor had feared.
Garak sighed and got to his feet, forcing Dukat to draw back.
"What do you want of me, Dukat?" he asked, feigning ignorance.
"Oh don't play the innocent with me, Garak! It doesn't suit
you," snapped Dukat, eyes glittering dangerously. "You offered to
submit to me - to do whatever I wished you to do. Well then, this is
my choice. Remove your clothes."
"I beg your pardon?" The suddenness of the request startled
Garak.
"I said remove your clothes, tailor. It's a perfectly simple
request," repeated Dukat impatiently.
"Why this, Dukat?" asked the tailor, trying to postpone the
inevitable for as long as possible. Dukat laughed harshly.
"You really don't want this, do you, Garak? Somehow that makes
it seem even more fitting. A straightforward beating would be nothing to
you, but this..." he observed shrewdly. "As to why - well, I've tasted
the delights Doctor Bashir has to offer and now I'm curious to know what
it is about you that a human would find so fascinating."
"Dukat..."
"Never forget, tailor, this was all your idea," said Dukat
implacably. "Oh, I'm sure you thought I'd simply beat you senseless,
but frankly I find this far more - entertaining. Now, are you going to
do as I ask or have you reconsidered your offer? If you have, well, I
really did enjoy Doctor Bashir's company..."
"No!" Real anger flashed in Garak's brilliant blue eyes.
"Ah, so you do still have some spirit left in you, despite your
long exile." An expression of anticipatory pleasure informed Dukat's
features. "Good..."
"I won't allow you to hurt Ju-Doctor Bashir again," said Garak
with steely resolve. "If this is what is required to ensure you leave
him alone then so be it. But you won't find me quite so easy to
intimidate as he was."
"We shall see..." Dukat regarded Garak impatiently. "Now, your
clothes, tailor, I don't like to be kept waiting."
Garak's smouldering anger had carried him through up to this
moment. Now it took every ounce of self control he possessed to calmly
raise his hands to the fastenings of his clothes. Unbidden the memory
of his perverse reaction to watching Dukat calculatedly taking Julian
rose into his mind. Soon that magnificent body would be pressed close
to his own... At the errant thought Garak felt the first stirrings of
arousal tingling through his body. *Dear God, no!* his mind screamed at
him silently. *Not again!*
Slowly, and with even greater reluctance than before, the tailor
undressed, discarding the stylish garments on the floor. He was acutely
aware of Dukat's eyes fixed on him, drinking in every detail as each
new expanse of ornamented, leathery skin was revealed. At last he stood
before Dukat his solidly muscled body completely naked. He raised his
head defiantly and waited in silence.
Like a hunting cat Dukat circled Garak slowly, his predatory
movements hinting at his contained strength. His heated gaze swept the
tailor from head to toe, missing nothing, especially not his burgeoning
erection. His eyes lingered on Garak's groin a moment longer before
moving up to study the tailor's resolutely impassive face.
"Impressive," conceded Dukat. He paused just a moment then
turned away and returned to his chair. He sat down and regarded Garak
thoughtfully over his steepled hands. "Very well, tailor, you may
pleasure yourself."
"I'm sorry. I don't understand..." Garak took an involuntary
step towards the other man, thoroughly disconcerted. Dukat shrugged
dismissively.
"It seems clear enough to me," he said offhandedly. "I require
you to pleasure yourself for my entertainment. Feel free to think about
Doctor Bashir's delightful young body while you do so - if you find you
need some incentive." His pale eyes caught and held Garak's and the
vicious amusement in them was unmistakable. "The sooner you begin the
sooner it will be over," he observed sardonically. "I hope you intend
to put on a good show for me, Garak. I do so hate to be disappointed..."
There was no alternative but to comply. Fighting down a faint
feeling of nausea at the indignity of it all Garak lowered his hands,
clasping his swelling erection firmly and beginning to caress it with
slow, steady strokes. It had been so easy to do this before, watching
as Dukat thrust repeatedly, carelessly into Julian's defenceless body...
Garak drew in a sharp breath, pushing the unwanted thought away.
But as he did he became aware of Dukat once more, leaning forward
eagerly in his seat and studying his reactions as if he were some
mindless creature in a laboratory. The tailor closed his eyes, shutting
out the unsettling sight. He couldn't do this while he could see Dukat
sitting there and savouring every second of this humiliating display.
The tailor searched in his mind for a more pleasant memory.
Julian... A faint smile curved his lips all unknowingly as he called
up images of the doctor's lithe body - long, slender limbs and smooth,
golden skin slightly flushed and sheened with sweat... Garak could
almost feel Julian's gentle hands and soft lips caressing his sex,
moving in a steady rhythm until a wave of pleasure overwhelmed him.
A wordless cry escaped Garak's throat as he came. The sudden
sensation of a damp, sticky warmth spilling over his hands brought him
back to himself and his eyes flew open. Dukat was no longer in his
chair, but before the tailor could turn to look for him he felt a
movement behind him and a pair of cool, impersonal hands came to rest
lightly on his broad shoulders.
"A most uninhibited display, tailor," came Dukat's voice, low
and compelling, close by his ear. Garak could feel his breath hot
against the nape of his neck. Glancing over his shoulder he found the
other Cardassian was now as naked as he was himself - when had he
undressed? Had he really been so intent on his own pleasure that he
hadn't noticed? Once again the tailor felt a bolt of excitement stab
through him as his body registered Dukat's nearness, the unmistakable
scent of Cardassian arousal. He made as if to step away, but the grip
on him tightened almost imperceptibly. With an effort Garak willed
himself to relax slightly.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he observed ironically. "Is that
all you require of me?"
"Don't be a fool, tailor," snapped Dukat. "You know precisely
what I want from you."
"Why don't you tell me?" said Garak, a harder edge suddenly
evident in his voice.
"You're treading on dangerous ground, Garak," hissed Dukat.
"Perhaps," agreed the tailor with deceptive calm, "but can you
deny that you want me?" He looked around again, his blue eyes glittering
with an unexpected trace of amusement. Just who was controlling whom
here? A look of anger flashed across Dukat's face, but he made no move
to release Garak. "I thought not," concluded the tailor sagely.
Garak was unprepared for the sudden, violent thrust which
propelled him across the room, fetching up against the wall. Dukat
pressed close behind him.
"You push me too far..." he spat out savagely. To his surprise
laughter greeted this statement. "What do you find so amusing, tailor?"
"Why you, Dukat!" said Garak brightly. "All this blustering
just to persuade me that you don't desire me - your words would carry
a great deal more conviction if your erection were a little less
obtrusive, don't you think?"
The tailor's pronouncement was greeted with stunned silence
and Garak found he was holding his breath in anticipation of Dukat's
response. For a long moment nothing happened, then Dukat's strong,
capable hands snaked around his waist. The agile fingers dabbled briefly
in the moist stickiness at his groin and then withdrew. Almost
immediately he felt a renewed touch on his buttocks and then Dukat's
damp fingers were spreading him, probing him. Garak opened his mouth
to protest the intrusion, but his words became a sharp gasp as Dukat
suddenly thrust his pulsing erection firmly into him.
"Now who desires whom?" enquired Dukat venomously, pushing in
harder until his smooth, leathery stomach rested flush against the
tailor's strongly muscled backside.
"I believe the point is moot," replied Garak, breathing hard
as arousal spread through him like wildfire. He had forgotten just how
- stimulating a combative encounter with a Cardassian lover could be.
The sensation was unexpectedly exhilarating and the tailor had the
distinct impression that Dukat was equally caught up in the
unanticipated pleasure of the moment - enmity temporarily set aside.
Garak braced himself with his hands against the wall and
thrust back hard with his hips. The sharp movement drew a gratifyingly
loud growl of satisfaction from Dukat. But retaliation was swift as
Dukat grabbed for the tailor's resurgent erection, pumping it hard as
he drove himself deeply into him. Vengefully Garak twisted his upper
body until he could reach to sink sharp teeth into the ornamented ridge
running down the side of his partner's neck. He was rewarded with a
deep throated moan as the intense stimulation wreaked havoc on Dukat's
senses.
*I know your weak spots as surely as you know mine,* he thought
wryly. As Garak bit a second time his lust-filled blue eyes locked with
Dukat's, seeing in their pale depths the grudging acknowledgement of
that fact. Their grey-hued, muscular bodies writhed against one another
with increasing abandon, quickly becoming slick with sweat. They were
well matched, neither able to totally dominate the other, only to wrest
a small victory here or there from their partner - Garak startling
Dukat with an open mouthed kiss of exquisite viciousness; Dukat toying
with Garak's hyper-sensitive nipples until he cried aloud in torment.
Blind instinct drove them to finally seek release. Garak arched
his back, his head lolling against Dukat's shoulder as his climax
overtook him. A desperate moan escaped his throat as he surrendered to
the overpowering sensations. Dukat's fingers dug harshly into the
tailor's tender flesh as he too slid over the brink into orgasm. He
shuddered as the intense waves of pleasure rippled through him, spreading
outward from his groin, and he emptied himself deep inside Garak's
suddenly unresisting body.
As the warmth and the excitement slowly faded Garak slumped
forward, his cheek pressed against the cool, slick surface of the wall.
He felt Dukat withdraw and with an effort turned to face him.
"Do you have what you want from me?" he asked wearily, feeling
suddenly completely drained.
"No, but it will serve - for now," replied Dukat with a harsh
laugh.
"You will stay away from Doctor Bashir then," pressed the
tailor anxiously.
"Perhaps..."
"I fulfilled my part of our bargain, Dukat!" protested Garak.
"Do you intend to go to Constable Odo and make a complaint
against me then?" enquired Dukat with a smug smile. Garak's eyes
narrowed dangerously. "Ah, Garak, you're too trusting... I always
thought that you and I were alike, now I see that I was mistaken. It
seems that all it takes to undermine your judgement is a beguiling face
and a soft voice. You're a fool tailor!"
*And you are a devious bastard,* thought Garak savagely. *But
you and I are more alike than you think - and I will have the last
laugh, Dukat.* An enigmatic smile curved the tailor's lips as he
regarded the other man. He saw the faint shadow of doubt cross Dukat's
features as he tried to fathom the reason for his amusement. Garak simply
watched him in silence.
Rattled by the tailor's calm acceptance of his duplicity Dukat
swiftly snatched up his clothes and dressed. He strode across the room
to the door, pausing briefly on the threshold to regard Garak once more
with utmost suspicion. Then he was gone. With a long exhalation of
breath Garak walked to his desk and stopped the recording. It was done
- and soon Dukat would know exactly what had so amused him.
******
A TASTE FOR VENGEANCE - Part Five
---------------------------------
Julian paused on the threshold of Quark's bar, glancing back
inside at the riotous crowd enjoying themselves drinking and playing
dabo. He wondered what to do with himself. The game of darts and
several rounds of synthale with Chief O'Brien had passed a few hours
pleasantly enough, but now he found himself at a loose end. It was an
uncomfortable feeling and one he hadn't suffered from in months now...
He sighed deeply. He knew perfectly well that Garak had been neglecting
his shop to spend more time with him of late so he could hardly complain
about the Cardassian putting in a few extra hours this evening. And it
was only one night. Nevertheless he missed the tailor's company.
A sudden smile crossed the doctor's face - perhaps Garak could
use a little help with his stocktaking, or whatever it was that had
demanded his attention. With renewed purpose Julian headed along the
Promenade in the direction of the tailor's shop. When he arrived at
its door he was surprised to find it locked and in darkness. It seemed
that Garak had had less catching up to do than he anticipated.
Faintly irritated that the Cardassian hadn't thought to come
and find him when he had finished working Julian turned his steps in
the direction of the habitat ring. Garak must have returned to his
quarters - he certainly hadn't been in Quark's - so he would go and find
him there. Perhaps he would enjoy supper, a nightcap and an early
night... Julian smiled again in spite of his earlier irritation. He was
too fond of the tailor to be mad at him for long.
He reached Garak's quarters and pressed the door chime. Without
waiting for a reply Julian casually thumbed the door release and
stepped inside. As the door slid closed behind him he pulled up short,
his affectionate greeting dying on his lips and an expression of shock
etching itself on his face. Caught like a startled rabbit by the
doctor's wide eyed stare Garak sat at his desk quite naked; his clothes
lay discarded in an untidy heap on the floor close by. Julian looked
slowly around the room, taking in every detail, his gaze finally coming
to rest on the tailor's face. The look he saw there could only be
described as guilty and the doctor felt as if his whole world had come
crashing down about him.
"Elim, what...?" The rest of the words refused to come and
Julian simply looked around him again in numb disbelief. There had to
be some perfectly logical explanation for all this - didn't there? He
forced himself to approach the Cardassian. As he did he noticed that
Garak's hand was poised over the console on his desk though the screen
was now dark. What had he been working on, the doctor wondered, that he
didn't want him to see? As Julian moved close enough to the tailor to
touch him an unmistakable scent rose to his nostrils. Another wave of
shock swept over him; he had come to know that sharp, spicy smell very
well in recent times. While Garak had claimed to be working late in his
shop he had actually been entertaining another lover here in his
quarters! "No!" The single, anguished word was dragged unwillingly from
Julian's mouth.
He strode around the desk, a sudden suspicion assailing him.
Garak watched him with the air of a man awaiting his imminent execution.
The dead, empty look on the doctor's face pierced him to the heart, but
he could hardly blame Julian for being so upset. The young man reached
across the Cardassian, taking inordinate care not to touch him, and hit
the terminal's playback control.
"Julian, please, don't do this..." begged Garak, but the doctor
ignored him resolutely. He stared fixedly at the screen as the image
resolved itself. Then, in stony silence, he watched as the tailor's
encounter with Dukat unfolded before his eyes. His hands clenched
futilely at his sides as he noted Garak's rapt expression as he
pleasured himself uninhibitedly with Dukat looking on. But the recording
could not give him the comfort of knowing where the tailor's thoughts had
been directed as he brought himself to the peak. He saw, as Garak had not
at the time, the look of predatory lust on Dukat's face as he discarded
his uniform and approached the tailor, licking his lips in anticipation
as he watched him shuddering with the intensity of his release.
Julian flinched momentarily at his own reawakened memories as
he saw Dukat push the tailor hard against the wall. Perhaps he hadn't
wanted this... But as Garak began to participate more actively and
eagerly in his own ravishment the doctor's misery grew. He felt empty
- no warm glow of arousal this time to comfort him - and a sense of
alienation grew in him. How could he have hoped to truly satisfy Garak?
Why had he been deluding himself for so long? They were too different.
This was what the tailor had been craving - violent, uninhibited sexual
combat... No wonder Garak had found the recording of Dukat raping him
so stimulating.
Unremarked, bitter tears slid silently down Julian's cheeks. By
the time the recorded sounds of Garak and Dukat's mutual satisfaction
echoed in the otherwise silent room the doctor was shaking
uncontrollably. With trembling fingers he ended the playback and turned
blindly away. He could scarcely begin to comprehend the magnitude of
Garak's deception and betrayal. The tailor had lied about this plan of
his in every respect. Not only had he gone ahead with it, in spite of
his promise, but he also hadn't submitted to Dukat - he'd made love to
him passionately, as an equal. The tailor had even made excuses to
avoid seeing him so his tryst would be undisturbed.
"Why didn't you tell me, Elim?" Julian's voice wavered as he
forced the words past unwilling lips.
"I'm sorry, Julian." Garak yearned to reach out and pull the
devastated young man into his arms, but a blind instinct warned him that
his touch would be unwelcome. He stared miserably at the doctor's rigid
back. How could he have hurt him so much? Hadn't he been trying to
protect him from any more pain? "I knew you disagreed with this idea of
mine so I..."
"It was all just an excuse, wasn't it?" Julian interrupted
bitterly.
"I don't understand," cried Garak, perplexed. "An excuse for
what?"
"You wanted Dukat. I should have realised sooner. When you
told me what you did when you watched Dukat's recording I should have
known then. It was him you wanted, that you reacted to, wasn't it - not
me." Julian's shoulders shook as tears overwhelmed him again. "Oh God,
I was such a fool. Did the two of you have a good laugh about me? Did
you compare notes? I thought you really cared for me, Elim. How could
you do this to me?"
Julian spun around, finally allowing Garak to see the anguished
expression on his face. His eyes were swollen and his cheeks streaked
with tears as he gazed accusingly at the Cardassian. Garak felt his
throat constrict as he faced the painfully apparent consequences of his
deception. *It wasn't supposed to be like this,* his mind protested,
but all he could do was stare dumbly back at Julian, not knowing what
to say in his defence. He had to admit that from the doctor's point of
view the evidence was pretty damning. For that matter he couldn't deny
that the sex with Dukat had been exciting and deeply satisfying. Yet,
for all that, he wasn't sure that it was an experience he'd care to
repeat. Julian on the other hand...
"Julian, please believe me, I don't want Dukat." Garak reached
out towards the doctor imploringly, but the young man backed away from
his outstretched hands. "You didn't see the whole of the recording. Let
me show you - it isn't what you think. I was only doing this for you..."
"For me? What the hell do you mean - for me?" Julian flung the
words at the tailor bitterly. "Am I supposed to be flattered that you
can find a few minutes in your busy schedule for me in between
performing for Dukat and who knows who else?" Somewhere deep inside a
small, rational part of himself told Julian that he was being
unreasonable - the angry words more a defence against his pain than a
serious accusation - and he saw the unmistakable hurt in Garak's
brilliant blue eyes at his tone. But the unavoidable fact remained that
the tailor had lied to him and had willingly, even enthusiastically
partnered Dukat. The doctor shuddered again at the intensity of the
coupling he had witnessed. How could Garak claim he had been doing
_that_ for him?
"Julian, I admit I was wrong to go behind your back like this.
I'm sorry I lied to you about where I'd be tonight. I believed - I
still believe that this idea will work. When Dukat sees this recording
he'll know how damaging to his reputation it could be if shown in the
wrong quarter. Then he'll do as I ask and leave us in peace." Garak's
anguish was evident in his voice as he tried desperately to find the
right words to repair the harm which had been done to Julian's already
fragile self-esteem. "I really didn't know this was what Dukat would
ask of me. I thought he would beat me, that's all. Julian, when he
asked me to touch myself - I could only do it by thinking of you,
imagining you were in my arms... Don't you understand?"
"No - I don't understand. How can I?" Julian buried his face
in his hands despairingly. "You're a Cardassian, how could I ever have
imagined I could understand you? The only reason you ever wanted me
was because there wasn't another Cardassian on the station and no one
else would have you. That's the truth of the matter, isn't it?" The
doctor's muffled voice shook as he continued. "I suppose I should be
flattered that you at least found me attractive enough for that. Well,
Dukat can give you what you really want - that much is obvious. I wish
you joy of him."
"Julian, no..." Unable to restrain himself any longer Garak
jumped to his feet, catching hold of the doctor and trying to pull him
close. To his horror Julian fought his way free of the embrace, a look
of utter terror in his dark eyes.
"Don't touch me!" cried the young man fearfully. "One rape is
enough to last me a lifetime thank you! Please, don't come near me
again." Garak flinched back as if he had been struck.
"Julian I would never force you to do anything against your
will, believe me..." Painful tears suddenly burned their way down
Garak's face as he finally realised the extent of the alienation between
himself and the doctor.
"How can I believe anything you say to me now, Garak?" asked
Julian with stiff formality. With an effort the tailor stifled the cry
which rose to his lips at Julian's sudden reversion to the use of his
family name. In a flash of bitter amusement it occured to Garak that in
spite of everything he had done Dukat had won. And the truth of the
matter was that it was all his doing - he had handed Dukat his victory.
"I'm sorry, Julian." It was all Garak could think of to say as
he turned away, not wanting the doctor to see just how badly he was
taking this.
Julian stood a moment longer, staring at the Cardassian's
hunched figure. Then, feeling the tears welling up inside him again he
headed quickly for the door. He wasn't sure who was most to blame in
all this: Garak for lying to him and betraying him with Dukat perhaps;
Dukat for exerting his baleful influence over both of them at every
opportunity; or himself, for believing he could make a meaningful
relationship with someone as alien to him as Garak. The door finally
closed behind him and Julian stumbled blindly along the corridor to his
own quarters. Once inside he flung himself face down onto the bed and
allowed the tears to flow freely once more.
Why had this happened? Why had Garak sought out another lover
in the first place? Julian could think of only one reason - he had
never truly satisfied the tailor. The images he had seen danced
mockingly in his head. The lust on the faces of both Dukat and Garak
had been unmistakeable and the violent frenzy of their encounter, the
doctor couldn't find it in him to think of it as lovemaking, left
Julian shaken. How tame the gentle tenderness of his own touch must
have seemed to Garak. Perhaps he should consider himself to have had a
lucky escape. The tailor must always have been consciously restraining
himself with him - what if he had truly lost control some time and
really hurt him?
Julian knew he was simply seeking some kind of rationalisation
- anything to keep the pain at bay. His relationship with Garak had
become so important to him. He had loved the tailor - if he cared to be
honest with himself he still did - and now his happiness had been
snatched away from him. Not content with violating his body Dukat had
tainted his feelings for Garak too. How could he ever trust him again
after this? Dejectedly Julian rolled over onto his back, staring with
unseeing eyes at the ceiling above him as all the "what ifs" and "whys"
continued chasing themselves futilely around in his mind until, finally,
he fell into an exhausted sleep.
Garak turned at the sound of the door swooshing closed. The
doctor was gone. He wanted to scream aloud at the injustice of it all,
but he knew he couldn't blame Julian for running from him. He was the
one who had broken his word and then proceeded to rub salt in the
wound by coupling passionately with the man who had so callously raped
Julian. What in the name of all hells was the vulnerable young man
supposed to think when he saw that recording?
Miserably Garak dropped into a chair, brushing ineffectually
at his damp cheeks. For that matter what did he himself think about
what had happened? Why did he still have this dangerous ambivalence
towards Dukat? The man was his enemy; he wanted to destroy him. Despite
what had happened between them Garak held no illusions that Dukat
actually had any true feelings for him, and yet he found him exciting,
arousing. His touch had awakened feelings in him that the tailor hadn't
felt in a long time...
He was a Cardassian. It was as simple as that. He had been away
from his own people for so long that any Cardassian would have ignited
similar passions in him. Dukat's touch had somehow made his exile seem a
little less absolute. It meant nothing more than that - did it? It was
at any rate a more comfortable explanation than any other Garak cared
to contemplate. And so, in indulging his feelings of homesickness, he
had sacrificed the most important relationship he had - the one that
made this exile at least marginally bearable. Julian's trust in him had
been shattered - irrevocably it seemed. When Dukat found out he'd
probably die laughing. Without even trying he'd succeeded in his aim
of driving a wedge between Garak and the doctor.
No - Dukat mustn't learn of that. Garak would go ahead with his
blackmail - Julian still had to be protected from Dukat's attentions. He
simply had to maintain the fiction that all was well in his relationship
with the doctor for a few more days and Dukat would be gone from the
station. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing the loneliness
he'd condemned him to.
******
Garak wandered aimlessly within the confines of his shop,
adjusting and readjusting a display of dresses here, a rack of suits
there. Then, for the umpteenth time that morning, he walked to the door
and stared out across the Promenade in the direction of the Infirmary.
As on all the previous occasions there was no sign of Doctor Bashir.
Doubtless he was in his office, catching up on paperwork or talking to
one of his patients...
The tailor sighed. What had he been expecting? To discover
Julian, standing in the doorway of the Infirmary, staring in his
direction with the same desperate look of longing on his face that the
tailor knew he must surely be wearing? He shook his head in exasperation
- this really wouldn't do. Instead of moping around he should go and
talk to the doctor. He would have calmed down by now. He was probably
waiting for him to make the first move. He'd listen to his heartfelt
apologies this morning. Of course he had been upset last night, but now
that he'd had time to think about it he'd understand...
Quickly Garak locked up the shop and hurried towards the
Infirmary. He got almost as far as Quark's before good sense intervened
and he pulled up abruptly. Just who was he trying to fool? Julian had
been so upset, so angry... He wasn't going to forgive that kind of a
betrayal overnight. Going to see him now would most likely simply
provoke another unpleasant scene. Garak brought his trembling hands up
to his face, covering it for just a moment as he composed himself. No,
it was better to leave Julian in peace for now and wait for him to make
the first move towards reconciliation - if that was what he wanted.
Garak cast one more longing look in the direction of the Infirmary, then
with a heavy heart made his way back to his shop.
From the doorway of Quark's Gul Dukat watched the tailor's
strange behaviour with interest. Why was Garak so hesitant about
approaching the good doctor this morning? Was it possible...? A broad
smile spread across Dukat's face as an amusing possibility occured to
him. He strode purposefully from the bar. This was something that might
repay closer investigation.
With an air of concern Sedi Jarelle watched as Doctor Bashir
bent to retrieve the tray of instruments he had just contrived to knock
onto the floor of the Infirmary. He had seemed on edge since the start
of his shift, though he had hidden it well as he dealt with his
appointments. But now there were no more patients to distract him and
his nervousness had culminated in this uncharacteristic mishap.
Privately Sedi felt that the young doctor looked like he could use
another day in bed. She kept her thoughts to herself and forbore from
offering assistance as her earlier attempts to discern what the problem
was had met with unexpected irritation from Bashir.
"I'm sorry, have I come at a bad time?" came a faintly mocking
voice from the entrance to the Infirmary. Sedi winced as the doctor
allowed the abused tray to clatter from suddenly nerveless fingers onto
the floor once more. Ignoring it he straightened, spinning round to
confront his visitor.
"Gul Dukat, what do you want? I'm really rather busy at the
moment." Julian eyed the Cardassian warily, fear and anger vying for
precedence on his suddenly pale face.
"So I can see," observed Dukat wryly, his gaze lighting on the
scattered instruments. Sedi darted forward, quickly gathering them up,
and as she passed the doctor he gave her a quick smile of gratitude.
"Is there something I can do for you?" asked Julian, returning
his attention to Dukat and trying to regain his shattered composure. He
immediately regretted the choice of words as the Cardassian swept him
with a frankly appraising look.
"Perhaps there is, doctor," said Dukat equably. "I really don't
seem to be feeling quite myself this morning. I fear I may be coming
down with something. Maybe you should examine me." He leaned forward,
his pale eyes regarding the doctor intently. "For that matter you look
a little off colour yourself. Perhaps it's something catching," he
suggested helpfully.
"No, I don't think so, and I'm fine thank you," said Julian
steadily. "Please take a seat while I examine you." As Dukat moved to
comply Julian turned away, breathing raggedly. His fingers shook as he
picked up a medical tricorder and flipped it open. All his instincts
screamed at him to run from the Cardassian. The thought of touching him
was terrifying... He swallowed hard. No, whatever reaction Dukat was
hoping to provoke Julian was determined not to oblige - he was just
another patient; he could deal with it. Idly the doctor wondered what
Dukat really wanted. Was this about the rape or had he come to gloat
over his liaison with Garak? Well, whichever it was he was going to be
disappointed. With his mask of professional detachment firmly in place
Julian approached the Cardassian and began to scan him with the
tricorder.
"Tell me, doctor," began Dukat with the air of one making polite
conversation, but raising his voice enough for Sedi to hear every word,
"how is Garak these days? I hear you've been seeing rather a lot of one
another." Julian glanced hurriedly across at Sedi, willing her to say
nothing. She met his eyes and her lips pressed together fractionally,
but she remained silent. As he looked back to Dukat his fingers
tightened convulsively on the tricorder, and for just a moment a hint
of his pain showed on his face.
"Why don't you ask him yourself?" suggested Julian at length.
"I'm sure he'd be delighted to see you if you dropped by his shop."
"Yes, I might just do that, doctor," said Dukat with an
insincere smile. He hadn't missed the doctor's involuntary reaction to
his question and added to Garak's odd behaviour earlier... Well, well,
it seemed that his rendezvous with the tailor had sown some seeds of
discord between Garak and his delightful paramour. He watched in
silence as the doctor completed his scan.
"You'll be pleased to know that you're in perfect health," said
Julian stiffly. "If you still think you feel unwell I'd suggest a day
in bed. I'm sure that would make you feel much better," he added acidly.
His eyes met and held Dukat's as the Cardassian got to his feet. The
sudden hatred glittering there stopped Dukat's sarcastic reply before
it was uttered. He favoured the doctor with a long, measuring stare
before turning abruptly and walking out of the Infirmary without another
word.
******
It had been a long day and Garak wanted nothing more than to
close up the shop, retreat to his quarters and drown his sorrows in a
glass or two of kanaar. He really wasn't in the mood for company
tonight, which on balance was probably just as well he reflected wryly.
Who was there on the station now who would care to give him the time of
day? As he tidied away a last few pieces of paperwork he heard the door
open behind him.
"I'm sorry," he called out, "the shop is closed. I'm afraid
you'll have to come back in the morning."
"Oh, come now, Garak, surely you can make an exception for an
old friend," came Dukat's infuriatingly cheerful voice. "After all, I
leave for Cardassia Prime tomorrow." Garak straightened up, moving back
into the main part of the shop where Dukat waited. So, if he intended
to make use of his hard won recording it would have to be done now.
"Then allow me to wish you bon voyage," said Garak evenly. "Now,
what can I do for you, Dukat?"
"It has been my observation that you and Doctor Bashir seem to
be avoiding one another today. I do hope all is well between you."
Dukat's mouth twitched as he suppressed a smile - the tailor's
expression of dismay at his words was everything he could have hoped
for. "Oh, I'm sorry. Have I said the wrong thing, Garak? Let me guess,
the admirable young doctor learned of our little rendezvous and..."
"Yes, Dukat," interrupted Garak, his eyes flashing angrily,
"Doctor Bashir did indeed learn of our - "rendezvous" as you call it.
Would you care to know how he learned of it? I can show you if you
wish." The tailor held Dukat's gaze steadily, seeing the sudden
confusion in the other's pale eyes.
"What do you mean - you can show me?" asked Dukat suspiciously.
"Oh, you mean you didn't know?" countered Garak innocently.
"Know what, tailor?" hissed Dukat dangerously. "I'm not in the
mood for your foolish games." Garak turned slowly away, moving casually
across to his desk. He opened a drawer and withdrew a data clip which he
held up for Dukat to see. He derived a moment's satisfaction from the
look of horrified comprehension that suddenly informed the other's
face.
"I was feeling nostalgic, Dukat. I thought how nice it would
be to preserve our reunion for posterity." The tailor smiled as Dukat
took a menacing step towards him. "It won't do you any good to destroy
this. It may make you feel better, but it isn't the original. Nor is
it the only copy. Would you care to take a look?"
Dukat snatched the data clip from Garak's hand, jamming it
viciously into the terminal and starting the playback. He stared at
the screen in impotent fury, his heart pounding a little harder and
faster as he watched their two evenly matched bodies, intimately linked
in mutual abandonment. How could he have allowed Garak such licence?
And why did anger now threaten to transmute to arousal...? Dukat let
his eyes devour the image for a few moments more before turning to the
tailor who stood impassively, observing his reactions.
"This is outrageous!" Dukat blustered. "How dare you..." His
eyes narrowed dangerously. "What do you intend to do with this - this
abomination, Garak?" The tailor shrugged casually.
"Nothing - for now," he said truthfully.
"Then what...?" Dukat frowned in sudden confusion.
"In case you had forgotten we made an agreement last night,"
said Garak evenly. "I kept my side of that bargain, but it seemed to me
that you might require - an added incentive to do the same."
"Blackmail, Garak, I didn't think that was your style," jibed
Dukat, intent on regaining the upper hand in this situation. The tailor
wasn't to be baited.
"You will leave Doctor Bashir alone, Dukat." Garak fixed the
other man with an unblinking stare. "I won't have him harmed again by
you or any of your associates."
"Are you threatening me, Garak?" enquired Dukat, his voice
deceptively mild.
"I don't make threats, Dukat," replied Garak equally calmly. "I
simply state facts. Believe me when I say that it would be in your best
interests to leave Doctor Bashir alone. I think it's true to say that
there are a number of people in the Central Command who would find this
recording to make fascinating viewing - to say nothing of course of
your delightful wife... How is she these days?" Dukat's face darkened
but he made no further move towards Garak. He knew when he was bested.
"Tell me one thing, tailor," he enquired acidly, "why persist
with this? The good doctor is hardly likely to appreciate your concern
now."
"Perhaps not," conceded Garak with a sad smile, "but sometimes
the deed alone is its own reward. Besides, I owe him this much..." *and
a great deal more,* added the tailor silently.
"I don't understand you, Garak," said Dukat with a perplexed
shake of his head. "All this for one insignificant human...?"
"Coming from you I take that as a compliment," replied the
tailor, looking up into Dukat's eyes. *And that "one insignificant
human" is worth ten of you. It's just a pity he doesn't realise that.*
Dukat broke from Garak's unsettlingly direct gaze.
"I won't forget this," he cautioned angrily as he turned and
strode from the shop. Garak stood quietly and watched Dukat go.
"Neither will I," he murmured with feeling as the door slid
closed.
******
A TASTE FOR VENGEANCE - Part Six
--------------------------------
It had been a trying few days for Garak. Dukat had finally left
the station and the tailor had been sure his departure would make a
difference to Julian's attitude towards him. To his distress that had
not been the case. The doctor was still going out of his way to avoid
any contact with him, in spite of his best efforts to engineer a
'chance' meeting. He had haunted the Replimat each mealtime, but when
Julian did put in an appearance he was always accompanied by either Dax
or Chief O'Brien and Garak had been forced to retreat in frustration.
He had seriously considered approaching the doctor in the Infirmary,
but as he had discovered to his cost before it wasn't the most private
of meeting places. He had even toyed with the notion of visiting Julian
in his quarters, but good sense had prevailed. Given the current parlous
state of their relationship any attempt at reconciliation needed to be
made on neutral territory.
Garak sat morosely at the worktable in his shop, a half-finished
garment spread out in front of him. The shop had closed over an hour
ago, but he had no particular desire to return to the claustrophobic
confines of his quarters. With his continuing estrangement from the
doctor the room now held too many ghosts. He missed Julian. That was
the bottom line. He wanted him back, but the young man was giving him
no chance to make amends.
Did that mean Julian truly no longer felt anything for him?
Garak found it hard to believe that everything they had shared and felt
for one another had been completely erased by his one foolish act. On
the other hand, was he making the same mistake that had led to their
alienation in the first place again by ascribing Cardassian reactions
and motivations to the young human? He could have found it in his heart
to forgive, if not entirely to forget. From a Cardassian perspective
what had happened with Dukat was a minor indiscretion, but Julian had
seen it as an overwhelming breach of trust. That was at the root of
their current problems. And Garak found himself wondering if there
really was nothing left between them or if Julian was simply unwilling
to open himself up to the possibility of more pain - another betrayal
as he saw it.
The tailor sighed. A few days ago he would have asserted that
he knew the young doctor well enough to judge what was going on in his
mind. Now, demonstrably, he did not and the wrong move on his part could
end all hopes of a reconciliation. Who did know Julian that well? Who
understood the way he thought and could tell him if there were any hope
at all of salvaging their relationship? Garak's head snapped up suddenly
- he had overlooked the obvious choice - the one person Julian might
trust enough to confide in. Before he could think better of his decision
the tailor hurried from the shop heading for the habitat ring.
The door chime sounded loudly in the quiet room and Dax looked
up from the report she had been working on. She wasn't expecting any
visitors this evening.
"Come in," she called, turning towards the door as it slid
open. Her eyes widened fractionally as she saw who stood outside, but
she had to admit this visit wasn't entirely unexpected. She got to her
feet and crossed to the centre of the room as Garak warily entered her
quarters. His discomfiture at being there was evident to the Trill as
she noted his stiff posture and guarded expression.
"Lieutenant," he began cautiously, "I apologise for disturbing
you at this hour, but I wondered if we might talk."
"Of course, Garak," she smiled at him encouragingly, "please -
won't you sit down." She seated herself on the couch and watched as
the Cardassian perched uncertainly on the edge of the chair opposite
her. His cornflower eyes flicked up briefly to search the Trill's face,
wondering if she understood what had driven him to approach her. Her
clear, appraising gaze disconcerted him and he retreated from it,
focussing instead on his hands which rested laxly in his lap. "What did
you want to talk about?" Dax asked gently as the silence stretched
uneasily between them. She was quite certain she already knew the
answer to that question, but she wanted to hear it from Garak's own
lips. The tailor cleared his throat a little self-consciously - what on
Earth had possessed him to come here?
"I - lieutenant, have you... that is, has Julian... What I mean
is...," Garak fumbled for the right words, cursing himself inwardly for
his ineptitude. "What I wanted to know..."
"What you wanted to know is if Julian has told me about what's
been going wrong with your relationship lately, isn't it?" interrupted
Dax calmly. The tailor looked up sharply, his blue eyes wide and
beseeching. So his instincts had been right in this at least. The
doctor had talked to her, but how much did she know? Garak didn't want
to betray Julian's trust again by inadvertently revealing anything the
young man might have held back.
"Yes, that is what I was trying to ask," admitted the tailor
with a sigh. "He won't talk to me about what he's feeling, but I thought
if he had confided in anyone it might be you." Garak took a deep breath
before continuing. "Lieutenant, I don't know exactly what he has told
you, but..."
"Garak, before you say anything else, please listen to me. I
think you're hoping I'll agree to be some kind of - mediator between
you and Julian, but I'm not sure I can do that. He's a dear friend and
you hurt him very badly. I'm not even sure it would be in his best
interest to resume this relationship," said Dax firmly. "For that matter
we probably shouldn't even be having this conversation without his
knowledge."
The Trill had thought long and hard about the unlikely liaison
between the young doctor and the Cardassian tailor since Julian had
turned to her for comfort several days earlier. She had always staunchly
supported the doctor's decision to pursue the friendship despite the
adverse comments of some of his colleagues - it had been clear enough to
her how happy Garak's attentions had made him. Now, seeing how deeply he
had been hurt, she wasn't sure if she had been right. Or was she being
unfair to the tailor, having heard only Julian's side of the story?
"Lieutenant, please, hear me out," begged Garak, an unmistakable
note of desperation in his voice. "I know I've hurt Julian. No one
regrets that more than I... All I want is to know that he is alright -
and to apologise. I've tried to let him know how sorry I am for the pain
I've caused him, but now he simply avoids me. I don't know what else I
can do." The tailor stared into Dax's eyes in mute appeal. She returned
his gaze steadily, reading the intense pain in his expression. Whatever
the rights and wrongs of this particular situation there was no
mistaking what the Cardassian was feeling. Dax nodded slowly.
"Alright, Garak," she agreed, "I'll listen to what you have to
say, but I'm not promising anything more than that."
"Thank you, lieutenant," breathed Garak gratefully. He dropped
his gaze once more, considering his words carefully. "Did Julian
mention Gul Dukat to you at all when you talked?" he asked as casually
as he could. He glanced quickly at Dax to gauge her reaction. The
shadow that passed across her normally serene features told him what
he needed to know.
"Yes," she said steadily, "he told me how he was - attacked.
Julian is still having nightmares about it. Did you know that? He
needed your support, Garak," she added accusingly.
"I didn't know," admitted the tailor sadly. "I did what I could
while he would let me. And I thought what I was doing would help as
well... You have to understand, he was never meant to see that
recording."
But even if he hadn't seen it -" Dax shook her head in
perplexity. "Garak, you knew what Dukat had done to Julian and yet you
still took him as your lover. How could you do that?"
"Dukat was never supposed to..." Garak covered his face with
his hands in frustration. How could he explain this to someone who
didn't understand Cardassian ways? Julian hadn't understood, would Dax?
"All I wanted was something to hold over Dukat - anything that I could
use to make him leave Julian alone. I couldn't take the risk that Dukat
might harm him again - whatever it might entail for myself. I was sure
all he would do was give me a beating or humiliate me in some way. I
misjudged him though. He knew me better than I thought he did.
"Dukat realised the only thing of value in my life was Julian so
he wanted to take him away from me. That's what this was all about - the
rape and the recording he made, then choosing to have sex with me
instead of beating me... Even if I hadn't recorded what happened between
us Dukat would have made sure that Julian knew all about it. He wanted
to destroy our relationship and I simply made it easier for him!"
The despair in Garak's voice shook Dax. She had never seen the
tailor anything less than totally self-possessed before. Had Julian
been wrong about the Cardassian's motivations? Had he jumped to the
wrong conclusion in the heat of the moment?
"Garak, Julian told me a little about this - blackmail scheme
of yours," said Dax cautiously. "He also said that he asked you not to
go ahead with it and that you had promised you wouldn't."
"I know," cried Garak ashamedly. "I thought he was worrying
needlessly. I was so sure I could handle Dukat... I was wrong. I can
see that now, but Julian doesn't know everything that happened. He only
saw a part of the recording. He still believes that it was my idea to
have sex with Dukat. It wasn't. I would far rather have withstood any
other punishment - but Dukat insisted. I had no choice - he threatened
to rape Julian again."
"But Julian saw what you recorded. He told me that you and
Dukat were clearly enjoying what you were doing," accused Dax.
"And that's the worst thing of all," said Garak painfully.
"Lieutenant, can you even begin to imagine what it has been like for
me to live on this station - isolated from my own people, hated by
those around me? Then I found Julian and slowly I discovered that my
life had a meaning, a purpose, again. But my past has kept on rising up
to haunt me in the shape of Dukat. What happened between us grew out
of enmity, hatred - but he is one of my own kind, lieutenant. For a few
moments that was more important than anything else."
"Then are you saying you really don't feel anything for Gul
Dukat?" Dax pressed him. Garak studied his hands abstractedly.
"No - I don't know," he admitted finally, looking up at Dax's
serene face. "All I do know is that I don't _want_ Dukat. A part of
me wants the reassurance of having a Cardassian lover. It's the easy
option. With another Cardassian there would be less chance of
misunderstandings..."
"The kind of misunderstanding that's keeping you and Julian
apart now," said Dax gently. "You know that what you did hurt him
terribly, don't you, Garak?" The Cardassian nodded. "He doesn't think
he can trust you any more, and in Julian's current state of mind that's
so important to him. He trusted Dukat to treat him honourably and look
what that got him. Then he trusted you to keep your word to him, but
you broke your promise, you deceived him..."
"I made love to the man who raped him - yes, I know that,"
broke in Garak.
"But he does still love you," continued Dax, ignoring the
Cardassian's interruption. The tailor's brilliant blue eyes widened in
amazement at the Trill's words.
"He does? Then I don't understand - why won't he talk to me?
I've tried so hard to see him, but he avoids me," protested Garak.
"Of course Julian loves you, Garak. That's why he's hurting so
much. He wants you back desperately, but he's convinced himself that
you don't care for him any more," said Dax in exasperation. "He's been
so afraid of talking to you because he thought you wanted to tell him
it was all over between you."
"But he was so angry," said Garak in confusion.
"Do you blame him?" asked Dax fiercely. "He had every right to
be angry - both with you and Gul Dukat. Julian is only human. He has
emotions and they were completely overwhelmed by what's been happening
to him. He needed to think of himself for a while - to protect himself.
Garak, if you don't want to lose Julian for good you have to show him
what you feel for him. You have to stop playing games with his feelings.
If you don't trust him enough to tell him what you're thinking, what
you're going to do, how can you expect him to trust you in return? Tell
him how sorry you are. Tell him how much you love him. His self esteem
has taken a real battering. You have to help him rebuild his confidence
- in himself and in you."
"But how?" Garak regarded the Trill intently, willing her to
give him the solutions he needed. She shook her head.
"That's not for me to say. You know him better in that respect
than I do, Garak," she said gently.
"If he won't talk to me, lieutenant, how can I tell him any of
these things?" protested the tailor plaintively. Dax relented a little.
"You could give him a gift," she suggested. "Perhaps there's
something that would remind him of something special you did together
- a good memory you could evoke. Maybe you could leave a note with it -
tell him some of what you've been telling me. Don't try and give it to
him personally. Leave it in his office so he can think about it in his
own time without any pressure. Then when he's ready I think he'll come
to you."
"Do you really think it will work?" asked Garak, a world of
longing in his eyes as they held Dax's.
"I don't know for certain," she admitted softly, "but if he
cares for you as much as I believe he does - well, I hope so." Garak
nodded his head in acquiescence.
"Thank you, lieutenant," he said with a sudden, genuine smile.
"I don't know if I truly deserve your help, but I'm grateful."
"I hope you and Julian can work this out," replied Dax, her
lips curving in an answering smile. "This last week or so apart I've
never seen him so happy as he's been with you." Garak's eyes widened
in surprise at the Trill's unexpected words. From her earlier comments
he had been sure she didn't approve of his relationship with the doctor.
Recovering his wits the tailor got to his feet. He inclined his head
graciously to Dax.
"My thanks again, lieutenant," he said sincerely, turning to
leave. As the door closed behind him Garak heard Dax's parting words -
"Good luck!"
******
The lights in the Infirmary brightened at Julian's command and
he strolled through to his office to check his appointment schedule for
the day. As he reached across to activate his terminal his eye was
caught by something out of place on his desk. Frankly curious the doctor
pulled out his chair and sat down. A slight frown of puzzlement creased
his brow as he hefted the small package, wondering what it might
contain.
Finally his native inquisitiveness won out and he carefully
opened the neatly fastened packet. Inside were a small bottle of amber
coloured liquid and a message chip. Julian stared at the items - the
phial had no markings to indicate what it was that it contained - and
tried to fathom where they could have come from.
At length he reached into the box and lifted out the bottle. The
liquid inside caught the light as he held it up, glowing warmly. Julian
worked loose the stopper with his slender fingers and sniffed at the
contents experimentally. A faintly spicy scent rose to his nostrils,
familiar somehow, but from where? On an impulse he dipped his forefinger
into the neck of the bottle, picking up a drop of liquid on the tip.
Slowly he brought the finger to his parted lips, touching it cautiously
to his tongue.
Almost at once a warm tingling sensation ran across the roof of
his mouth accompanied by a suddenly familiar taste - with a shock he
identified it as tianor. Julian's throat constricted as he realised only
one person on the station could possibly have left this package for him
to find. Garak. Who else would have known about his introduction to the
Cardassian concoction on Risa? But why had the tailor given this to him
now - was it meant as a peace offering of some kind?
Julian realised his heart was pounding far harder than a single
drop of tianor could account for. Was it possible that this was an
invitation from Garak, a chance to try and put things right between
them? Did it mean the Cardassian's feelings for him really hadn't
changed at all? And if it did, was he prepared to trust Garak, to risk
being hurt all over again? Abruptly the doctor remembered the message
chip which had accompanied the bottle of tianor. With trembling fingers
he retrieved it from the package, holding it up before him.
He stared at it for a long moment before slotting it into his
terminal and calling up the single file it contained. Julian felt a
faint twinge of disappointment as he discovered the message was audio
only. He would have liked to see the Cardassian's face as he spoke...
"Julian, I apologise for the method of bringing this message to
you. I've tried to speak to you - I think you know that - but you've been
keeping your distance from me. I'm not sure that I can blame you for
that. What I've been wanting to say is quite simple. I'm sorry. I know
the words are inadequate, but they are from the heart, believe me.
"Do you remember the first time we shared tianor, Julian? I
don't think I shall ever forget it...
"My dearest doctor, it was never my intention to hurt you.
Please can you find it in you to forgive a foolish old Cardassian who
didn't realise what a precious thing he had until he lost it?"
Julian listened to the brief communication in silence. In truth
he barely heard the words, aware only of the intense longing in Garak's
voice. He knew the tailor well enough to recognise when he was being
totally honest - this was one of those all too rare occasions.
To his surprise Julian found that his cheeks were wet. He
couldn't recall the tears starting... He reached out, picking up the
phial of tianor once more and inhaling its spicy fragrance deeply. The
evocative smell reminded him acutely of the warm scent of Garak's skin
and he drew in a sharp breath as a stab of longing pierced him. He had
been wrong. The tailor hadn't rejected him. The desperate note in
Garak's voice gave the lie to that belief. Was it too late to try and
salvage something from the wreckage of their relationship? Julian hoped
fervently that it was not.
Quickly he accessed the station's comm system, typing in just a
few words and sending them on their way to the terminal in the tailor's
shop. As the 'transmission complete' prompt blinked back at him Julian
stared at what he had written - "Garak, I do remember. Come to my
quarters at 2000 hours. I think we have a lot to talk about. Julian"
******
As 2000 hours approached Julian found himself pacing nervously
around his quarters like a caged animal. Would Garak come in response to
his summons? Did he really want him to? Stupid question, Julian chided
himself, of course he did, but right now he felt as apprehensive as a
schoolboy before his first date. What exactly was he planning on saying
to the Cardassian when he arrived?
Julian sighed deeply. He wasn't at all sure what he intended to
say to Garak. Should he tell him how much he still wanted him? An ironic
smile quirked the doctor's full lips. The Cardassian wouldn't exactly
need to be a master spy to divine that fact! He had been fighting to
keep his body's responses under control ever since he had opened Garak's
package and discovered the bottle of tianor inside.
That realisation gave Julian pause. Was that really all there
was to his relationship with Garak - a physical response, nothing more?
He hoped not. It had been a meeting of minds, not bodies that had first
drawn him into a friendship with the Cardassian. The literary
discussions over lunch in the Replimat with their attendant verbal and
intellectual sparring had filled a need in both their lives. Had they
lost that aspect of their friendship along the way as they became more
dependent on one another to satisfy the needs of their bodies too?
No. Julian refused to believe that was true. If sex were all
that mattered he could have found others to fill the vacuum left by the
tailor's absence. It was Garak specifically that he missed, with his
sharp wit and studied evasiveness. In truth he enjoyed trying to
penetrate the aura of mystery the tailor liked to surround himself with.
And yet that was also part of the problem between them.
To Julian trust was all important. He had trusted Garak
absolutely with his feelings - with himself. He had never been less
than completely honest with the tailor; it simply wasn't in his nature
to dissemble. He had expected the same in return, but to Garak trust
seemed to be a nebulous concept. Julian had never harboured any
illusions that the tailor would ever tell him the full truth about his
past, but that hadn't really mattered. What the doctor had expected
was that Garak would be honest in their ongoing relationship, but
instead the Cardassian had lied about his blackmail scheme, and as to
his feelings for Dukat...
That was what had really hurt. That was why he felt so betrayed.
Julian could admit that to himself now. He had been totally honest with
Garak about his own ambivalence towards Dukat, but the tailor... Gods,
while he had been afraid that Dukat would kill Garak if they were left
alone in the same room together they had ended up making love with a
passionate intensity that frankly scared the hell out of the young
doctor. That was bad enough in itself, but Julian knew perfectly well
that Garak had never intended for him to find out about the incident. It
was that lack of trust that had so upset him, causing him to lash out
angrily at the Cardassian.
Julian drew in a long, steadying breath. Would Garak be prepared
to talk about what was going on in his mind now? Would he be willing to
open up and admit to what he had felt for Dukat? The doctor dearly hoped
so, because without that openness, that trust, he knew that his
relationship with the tailor could never have a future and that wasn't
something he wanted to accept. He didn't want it to be nothing more than
a pleasantly diverting interlude - that just wasn't enough, as he had
learned the hard way. Yes, he wanted Garak very much, but from now on
it had to be on his terms. He wasn't prepared to let himself be hurt so
badly again.
Anxiously Julian glanced across at the chronometer - still
another ten minutes to wait! He looked down at himself. He had
automatically put his uniform back on after he had showered, now
abruptly he headed into the bedroom, pulling the jumpsuit from his
body. It was too formal. He wanted to foster a more relaxed atmosphere
tonight. Hurriedly he changed into a pale blue shirt and loose black
trousers. He studied himself critically in the mirror, silently
approving the image he now presented. His hair had become disordered as
he changed and he quickly ran his hands over it, smoothing it back into
a semblance of neatness.
A TASTE FOR VENGEANCE - Part Six (continued)
--------------------------------------------
The door chime sounded, startling him out of his introspection.
Julian's heart began to pound fiercely in his chest. He hurried to
answer the door and suddenly realised he had forgotten to put his boots
back on. Ah well, he would simply have to greet Garak barefoot. With
trembling fingers he released the privacy lock on the door and it slid
aside to reveal the tailor. Neither man said a word for a long moment
- each of them simply drinking in the sight of the other.
"Please - come in," Julian managed at last, stepping aside to
allow Garak to enter his quarters. He quickly re-engaged the privacy
lock behind him; there was too much at stake here to risk any other
intrusions. The tailor nodded slightly - part acknowledgement, part
greeting and followed the doctor as he crossed the room and sat down.
Julian gestured to the couch and Garak settled himself on it, his eyes
all the while fixed hungrily on the doctor. He hadn't expected to find
him so relaxed, so casually dressed and he prayed it boded well for
the rest of the evening. His heart thumped painfully in his prisoning
ribcage as his gaze swept Julian, missing nothing, from his cap of dark
curls, to the loose, comfortable clothing, right down to his slender bare
feet.
In his turn Julian studied Garak. The Cardassian had chosen his
outfit with great care, evidently intent on creating a good impression.
The doctor had to admire the elegantly tailored russet tunic and
trousers, cleverly cut to make the best of Garak's solidly muscled
body. The colour too served to add an unusual warmth to the tailor's
grey-hued skin. Finally he allowed his gaze to travel up to Garak's
face, meeting the clear blue eyes and seeing the unmistakable longing
shining in them.
"Thank you for asking me here tonight, Julian," said Garak
softly, finally breaking the long silence between them. "I've wanted
to talk to you."
"I thought you were trying to tell me it was all over between
us," admitted Julian with a sigh. "I didn't want to hear you say that
so I kept making sure you had no chance to talk to me. It was only when
I found your message I realised..."
"I know that now. I - Lieutenant Dax told me that was why you
were avoiding me," murmured Garak. "It simply never occured to me - I
thought you hated me for what I had done..."
"Jadzia told you," exclaimed Julian in genuine surprise. "Why
would she do that?"
"I went to her to ask for her help," replied the tailor softly.
"I didn't know what else to do - and I thought if you had talked to
anyone it would be her. I'm glad that I was right. She - she said you
didn't hate me. Is that true, Julian?" Garak leaned forward intently,
his eyes pleading. Julian smiled faintly.
"I had every right to, Elim, but no, I never hated you. I was
angry though - and hurt," he said with a slight shake of his head. "You
betrayed my trust. You made a promise to me that you never had any
intention of keeping. That's very hard for me to accept and to forgive
- and then there's Dukat..." Garak glanced down at his folded hands,
trying to find the right words to explain to the vulnerable, young
human.
"Julian, believe me, what happened between Dukat and myself was
not my idea. If you want the proof of that I have it. I can show you
the rest of the recording I made - the part you didn't see," said Garak
steadily. "He threatened to approach you again if I didn't submit to
him. I don't think he was lying. I didn't see that I had any choice
after that. I - when he asked me to touch myself I had to think about
you. I couldn't have done it otherwise. But when he became aroused too
and took me like that - yes, I admit it was exhilarating. I'd be lying
to you if I said anything else. Julian, I haven't had a Cardassian
lover for more years than I care to think about. The realisation that
Dukat was as caught up in what was happening as I was... It was
overwhelming. But it's over, done with. I have no - feelings for Dukat.
I don't want to repeat the experience; it was too disconcerting. That
is the truth, Julian."
Garak looked up to find Julian watching him avidly, his dark
eyes shining. Their gazes locked for a long moment before the doctor
broke away, afraid he would lose himself in the intense, cornflower
depths.
"I think perhaps that's the first time you've ever been
completely honest about what you're feeling," said Julian slowly, "and
yet I still don't know what you feel about me - all you've told me about
is Dukat." Garak looked startled.
"I've told you that I love you," he said in surprise.
"True," agreed Julian, "but there's never been quite so much at
stake before has there? You've said the words, but that's all they were
- words. I don't know that they ever told me what was really going on
in your mind. That didn't seem to matter before - now it does."
"I have always loved you, Julian. Do you really doubt that?"
protested Garak.
"If you had really loved me, Elim, you would never have gone
behind my back to carry out your blackmail scheme," insisted Julian.
"You ignored my wishes even though I'd made them perfectly clear, and
in the end, because of that, you hurt me a great deal. Don't you
understand how important it is for me to know that I can trust you?"
"I'm beginning to," sighed Garak. "I admit I acted towards you
as I would another Cardassian. I thought that you would see that the
end justified the means. I'm sorry. I can see now that I was wrong -
and I understand how hard it will be for you to trust me again. I'd
like the chance to try and earn your trust though. I missed you,
Julian, more than I believed was possible. I don't want to lose you..."
"And I don't want to lose you, Elim," whispered Julian. "I love
you, but you have to show me that I can trust you as well. I have to
know that if you make another promise to me you'll keep it."
"I understand," said Garak slowly, nodding his head in
agreement. In a single fluid movement the tailor slid from the couch to
kneel at Julian's feet. The doctor watched him intently, his heart
beginning to pound harder. A part of him wanted to beg Garak to take
him into his arms, but another part was afraid of inviting the
Cardassian's touch. The tailor sensed the young man's hesitation. He
looked up earnestly into Julian's velvet brown eyes. "Do you want me to
leave?" he asked, his voice trembling with longing.
"No - but I'm afraid that if I let this happen... Will anything
have changed? Are you going to hurt me again? Oh, I know now it wasn't
intentional, Elim, but I don't want to go through that kind of pain
again." Julian's anxious gaze begged Garak mutely to understand - and
the tailor did, only too well.
"I don't have the right to ask you to trust me again," he
breathed, "but I don't know what else I can say. I was a fool to risk
losing you, whatever else I thought I might gain. You're the most
precious thing in my life, my dearest Julian - and I want you more than
I can begin to tell you." The Cardassian's clear, blue eyes swept
Julian's body caressingly and the doctor felt himself shiver with
anticipation, desperately wanting Garak's capable hands to trace the
same path.
"Elim..." Julian's voice was barely more than a whisper.
"Yes, Julian?" came the tailor's eager response.
"What made you think of giving me the bottle of tianor?" There
was undoubted curiosity in the doctor's tone as he finally met Garak's
eyes squarely. The tailor laughed softly, dispelling some of the
tension between them.
"Actually, it was Lieutenant Dax's idea - to give you a gift
of some kind," elaborated Garak hurriedly as Julian shot him a startled
look. "She suggested I chose something which would evoke a pleasant
memory. I remembered our most - interesting meal on Risa. I hoped the
tianor would bring back good memories for you too. Did it?" Julian's
smile broadened in recollection.
"Yes, it did. Eating I'danian spice pudding took on a whole
new meaning after that," he commented wryly. "Elim, I have the tianor
here, now. Would you like some?" Garak almost forgot to breathe for a
moment as the full import of the doctor's words sank in.
"Julian... If I drink - I'm not sure I shall be able to control
myself," admitted the tailor honestly. "I want you too much."
"It's a risk I'm prepared to take if you are," murmured Julian
huskily. "I - don't think I have much control left either. I may not be
able to give you all the same things that another Cardassian could, but I
want to give you everything I can. Please, Elim..." Garak closed his
eyes and swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. After everything that
had happened Julian was still prepared to put himself into his hands.
"I don't deserve this," protested the tailor. "You don't have
to do this for me." Julian's eyes flashed as he stared sharply at the
Cardassian.
"I'm doing this for both of us, Elim," he said fiercely. "I
have no intention of simply lying here passively and letting you have
things all your own way. You want an equal partner - well, I intend to
give as good as I get!" Garak gasped in astonishment at the doctor's
words, but he had no doubt about the truth of them. There was nothing
passive at all about the lust glittering in Julian's limpid, brown
eyes.
"Where is the tianor?" asked Garak breathlessly.
"Over there - with some glasses." Julian gestured imperiously
towards his desk. He watched without further comment as the tailor
quickly got to his feet to retrieve the bottle. Even without the
tianor the doctor could feel the heat of arousal coursing through him.
It was an exhilarating feeling to have the Cardassian so bound to his
desire, but frightening too Julian realised. Was that what Garak had
meant when he said he had no wish to repeat his experience with Dukat?
Had he been afraid of their mutual need for one another? The doctor
knew himself well enough to know that it wasn't in his nature to
dominate another completely, but for his own peace of mind he had to
prove that he could control Garak - both to himself and to the
Cardassian.
Carefully Garak opened the bottle of tianor, pouring the
shining, amber liquid equally into the two glasses Julian had set out
on his desk. Putting the now empty bottle aside he lifted the glasses
and walked slowly back to where the doctor waited. He offered one to
Julian, but the young man made no move to take it from him. The tailor
regarded him in confusion. Julian looked back at him, a thoughtful
expression on his face.
"Is something wrong, Julian?" asked Garak anxiously. "Have you
changed your mind?"
"No, Elim, I haven't," the doctor assured him, "but I was
thinking about what we said before - about needing to rebuild the trust
between us. It really is important to me. I think it would help if -
I have to know, Elim; are you prepared to put yourself in my hands, to
let me control what happens now?" Smoothly Garak sank to his knees once
more at Julian's feet, head bowed.
"Whatever you want from me, Julian... It's yours," came the
tailor's heartfelt reply. He held out the glass of tianor again. This
time the doctor wordlessly accepted it. Garak looked up with a tentative
smile and Julian raised the glass in silent salute, slowly bringing it to
his lips. The tailor watched avidly as he sipped at the tianor and then
gaped in surprise as Julian tilted his head back and drank the rest of
the sparkling liquid in a single draught. As the doctor set aside his
empty glass his brown eyes met Garak's in unmistakable challenge. With a
certain amount of trepidation - tianor was meant to be drunk slowly,
savoured - the tailor mirrored his actions.
Julian hadn't missed the momentary flicker of disquiet in
Garak's eyes and silently he wondered at it, but not for long. After
only a short space of time the tianor flooded the doctor's system and
abruptly his entire body felt as if it were immersed in burning liquid
as his nerves responded to the tianor's stimulation. A wordless cry
escaped him as he stared at Garak in shock. He hadn't expected the
sensations to be this intense, but then again his experience with tianor
was extremely limited. He certainly hadn't drunk so much so quickly when
he had sampled it before.
With an air of concern Garak studied Julian intently. A deep
rose coloured flush had spread over his skin and his pupils had abruptly
dilated until barely a trace of the brown iris still showed around them.
Garak reached out a hand to the doctor and then arrested the movement
sharply as the tianor began its assault on his own body. *No wonder they
always caution you to drink tianor slowly,* the tailor thought wryly as
every nerve responded to the friction of his clothing against his skin,
leaving him gasping in the grip of sudden arousal.
The intensity of the sensations slowly began to subside to a
bearable level. Julian found he was capable of rational thought again
as the burning transmuted to a glorious warmth that suffused his limbs.
Every sense was heightened and he became more aware than ever of Garak's
closeness - the heat radiating from him and the rich, spicy scent rising
from his skin. That the Cardassian was experiencing the same feelings
he was Julian had no doubt.
Carefully the doctor slid from his chair to kneel facing Garak.
The tailor's outstretched hand dropped nervelessly to his side as
Julian moved in closer. With infinite care the young man reached up to
cup Garak's face in his graceful hands. The tailor moaned as the light
touch of the slender fingers sent trails of fire running downwards and
through his entire body. Warm brown eyes looked deeply into clear blue,
seeing the unmistakable note of pleading in their depths.
"Julian - I want you," whispered Garak achingly.
"I know," murmured the doctor leaning in closer still. He drank
in the heady scent of the tailor's arousal, almost losing himself in
the intensity of the feelings it evoked. With an effort Julian
suppressed the desire to rip the clothes from his own and Garak's
bodies. No - he wanted to take this slowly, savour each new sensation
in turn... Tenderly he pressed his lips to the Cardassian's, feeling
them part willingly under the subtle pressure. His tongue explored
Garak's mouth gently, tracing the soft, moist contours and flicking
along the pliant lips. Gradually Julian deepened the kiss, drawing an
answering response from the tailor. As their mouths engaged more
voraciously Garak brought his arms up to snake around the young doctor's
waist, pulling him closer. The movement drew moans of pleasure from
both men as soft fabric slid over sensitised skin.
Finally the need to draw breath led Julian to pull away from
the sweet delights of Garak's mouth. The human and the Cardassian were
both panting hard, eyeing one another hungrily.
"Thank you for the tianor, Elim," laughed Julian breathlessly.
"It was my pleasure," responded Garak in kind, his eyes
sparkling with desire and amusement.
"No - the pleasure is for both of us," Julian chided him with
mock severity. He reached up to trace the Cardassian's delicate
eyeridges with an inquisitive finger. Garak's eyelids fluttered closed
and he sighed contentedly as tendrils of sensation snaked through his
entire body. Julian smiled broadly as he watched the tailor react to
his gentle caresses. Seeing Garak in the grip of desire only intensified
his own enjoyment of their shared intimacy. Glancing down the doctor
noted with satisfaction the tell-tale swell of the tailor's erection,
straining at the russet fabric of his trousers. Julian's loose clothing
concealed the extent of his own arousal a little better, but now he was
eager to be free of the restrictions imposed by their clothes.
Without warning Julian brushed a hand lightly over the material
covering Garak's bulging erection. The Cardassian's eyes snapped open,
pleading with the doctor to repeat the caress. As Julian complied
Garak uttered a low moan. The young man's touch was almost too intense
to bear. With his free hand the doctor sought out the fastening of the
tailor's tunic, but Garak was there before him, stripping the garment
from his torso. Julian turned his attention instead to the Cardassian's
trousers, undoing them quickly and sliding them, together with his
undergarments over his hips. He urged Garak to his feet and slipped the
crumpled clothes the rest of the way down the tailor's body until he
could step clear of them.
Julian remained where he was, kneeling at Garak's feet, looking
up at his rapt expression. Finally he dropped his heated gaze to the
tailor's erect sex now released from the confines of his clothing. A
momentary pang of disquiet lanced through him as he remembered being in
the same position at Dukat's feet. *No,* he told himself sternly, *that
was in the past; it's unimportant.* What mattered now was being here
with Garak.
With a decisive gesture Julian reached out, grasping the
tailor's buttocks and drawing him closer. He laid his cheek gently
against the Cardassian's firm stomach, feeling the muscles quivering
in response to the touch. Turning his head the doctor trailed kisses
lightly across the smooth, grey skin, leaving Garak gasping for breath.
As he moved slowly lower he felt a damp warmth as the Cardassian's
trembling sex brushed his cheek. With a sigh of pleasure Julian nuzzled
against it. The tailor moaned in anticipation of the doctor's next move
and cried aloud in delight as Julian's warm, moist mouth finally
engulfed his waiting erection.
With an effort Garak collected his wits enough to glance down
at the doctor's bent head. Julian was blissfully intent on his
exploration of the tailor's eager sex. He contented himself for a time
sucking at it firmly, while his tongue caressed the smooth hardness.
Then he withdrew, leaving the Cardassian momentarily bereft. He glanced
up to meet the tailor's desperately pleading eyes then resumed his
ministrations, nibbling his way along the length of the shaft, licking
and nipping lightly at the sensitive head. All the while his hands
kneaded gently at the pliant flesh of Garak's backside.
The Cardassian could feel himself sliding ever closer to the
brink. He slipped his fingers into Julian's soft dark hair, tangling
them in the disordered curls. Carefully Garak pulled the doctor even
closer to him, urging him to take his erection fully into his mouth once
more. Julian complied willingly, feeling the tremors which started to
run through the tailor's body as he did so. He tightened his grip on
Garak's buttocks, encouraging him to thrust more deeply, sucking hard
as the Cardassian acceded to his wishes. The taste and scent of Garak's
smooth, reptilian skin intoxicated the doctor and he revelled in the
intensity of the moment.
Abruptly the tailor cried aloud as waves of pleasure swept over
him. His sex pulsed agonisingly as he came, Julian's soft mouth drawing
him to still greater heights, until even his tianor enhanced senses could
wring nothing more from the experience. Withdrawing finally from the
doctor's grasp Garak sank bonelessly to his kness. Reaching out he drew
Julian into a fierce embrace, burying his face in the young man's silky
hair. Julian relaxed against the tailor's muscular chest, his head
resting lightly on one broad shoulder. He sighed softly, enjoying the
feel of the damp, leathery skin against his cheek. Faintly he heard
Garak's voice murmuring incoherent endearments and any last lingering
doubts about the advisability of resuming his relationship with the
Cardassian evaporated.
"Elim," he said softly.
"Yes, Julian," came the indistinct reply.
"I've missed you... missed this," admitted Julian slowly.
"And I you," agreed Garak. He loosened his hold on the doctor,
shifting his weight until he could see the young man's face. The intense
brown eyes were alight with pleasure and unquenched lust. The tailor
pressed a gentle kiss on Julian's smooth forehead and then moved lower,
tasting his full lips. The doctor sighed contentedly, delighting in the
languorous caress. He slipped his tongue into the tailor's mouth and
Garak sucked gently at its tip. A frisson of excitement ran through the
Cardassian as he savoured the intermingled tastes of tianor and his own
semen on Julian's soft tongue.
Drawing away once more Garak studied Julian's flushed face
intently. The doctor returned his stare steadily. He wanted to be free
of the constraining fabric of his clothes. He longed to feel the
tailor's body pressed against his bare skin...
"Elim, please undress me," begged Julian suddenly. "I can't
bear not being able to touch you properly." Garak didn't need to be
asked twice. Deftly he pulled the loose shirt over Julian's head, his
hands lightly brushing the doctor's silky skin as he did so. The young
man trembled in delight, aching to feel Garak's hands caressing him all
over. He didn't have long to wait as the tailor slid the soft fabric of
his trousers down his slender legs. His briefs quickly followed and were
tossed aside.
Garak's brilliant blue eyes devoured Julian's naked body. The
doctor's golden brown skin was lightly sheened with sweat and still
suffused with a faint rosy blush - the outward manifestation of the
tianor in his system. The tailor's gaze lingered on the delightfully
erect sex, the drop of moisture at its tip like a precious jewel.
"What do you want of me, Julian?" he asked through suddenly
dry lips.
"Come to bed with me, Elim," demanded the doctor huskily. "I
want to make love to you." Carefully Garak climbed to his feet, reaching
down to pull Julian up with him. With an inviting smile the doctor led
Garak into his bedroom, urging him to make himself comfortable on the
bed. The tailor pulled the pillows down towards him, settling himself on
his side. Julian retrieved the small jar of lubricant from a drawer and
handed it to Garak. "Will you put this on me please, Elim."
Garak opened the jar, then stretched out a hand to pull the
doctor closer, within easy reach. He watched Julian's face closely as he
scooped up a generous helping of the cool gel and set to smoothing it
along the length of the young man's erection. The sure touch sent the
fire of arousal coursing through Julian's body once more. Garak smiled in
delight at the blissful expression on his face. He lingered longer than
was strictly necessary over his task, his skilful fingers toying with
the doctor's deliciously responsive sex.
Finally the tailor set the jar aside and pulled Julian onto the
bed with him. The doctor settled himself into the curve of the
Cardassian's back, burying his face in the dark, shining fall of Garak's
hair. His hands caressed the tailor's muscular backside firmly and
Julian felt him relax willingly at his touch. Carefully the doctor
positioned himself, the head of his sex caressing Garak's opening
gently. A quick thrust of his hips and he was sliding into the
Cardassian's welcoming warmth, pressing steadily until he was completely
inside him.
For a long moment Julian remained quite still, simply savouring
his closeness to Garak. The tailor, understanding the young man's desire
to control their lovemaking, made no attempt to move, fighting down the
impulse to push back against the doctor and impale himself more
thoroughly on his firm erection. Patiently he waited, allowing the
doctor to dictate what was to happen, his tianor sensitised skin
finding no small pleasure in the simple feeling of Julian's warm body
pressed along the length of his own.
Slowly Julian stirred, his hands reaching around Garak's waist
to grasp his growing erection. At the same time, gently at first, but
then more forcefully, he began to partially withdraw from the tailor's
body then drive back inside him with sure, eager strokes. Garak gasped
in delight as Julian's thrusts became steadily wilder, more abandoned.
When he could no longer remain still the tailor bucked his hips firmly
against the doctor's, urging him to thrust even more deeply. With a
growl of pleasure Julian complied, immersing himself totally in the
rising tide of sensation.
The young man found it strangely liberating, knowing this was
what the tailor craved, that the roughness excited him still further.
Casting aside the last of his inhibitions Julian bent his head, his
teeth grazing Garak's shoulders and back, leaving marks on the
reptilian skin. The Cardassian shuddered with delight, the pain of the
sharp bites only intensifying his pleasure. Encouraged by the tailor's
reaction Julian turned his attention to Garak's erection. He raked his
nails along the length of the shaft as he pumped it steadily, feeling
it grow harder in his grasp. The tailor groaned ecstatically as the
doctor freed one hand to knead his balls firmly - far harder than
Julian himself could have tolerated - the feel of the hard, rhythmic
pressure quite exquisite to the Cardassian.
Julian found himself caught up in the intensity of Garak's
responses. The rougher his embraces the more the tailor's excitement
seemed to grow. It was as if his Cardassian soul had been freed from
the restraints he had imposed upon it in Julian's arms before. It was a
frightening and yet wildly exhilarating experience for the young human.
Garak's sex was now fully erect once more and the tailor brought
his hands to join Julian's in caressing its hardness. The extra
stimulation was almost enough to trigger his climax, but he fought for
control, wanting to prolong the delight as long as he could. Finally he
felt Julian shudder on the brink of orgasm, pushing into him with one
last firm thrust. As the doctor's trembling intensified he bent his
head again, stifling his incipient cries by sinking his teeth firmly
into Garak's ornamented neck ridge. Stimulated beyond endurance the
tailor also came, the creamy liquid spilling over his own and Julian's
joined hands.
Julian slumped against Garak's back in utter exhaustion. He
felt tired, but exultant. He couldn't remember ever feeling so spent, a
delicious lassitude stealing over him as he breathed deeply of Garak's
warm, spicy scent. He murmured in faint protest as the tailor stirred,
rolling over to draw Julian into a fiercely protective embrace.
"Ah, my dearest Julian," whispered Garak hoarsely, "still you
find new ways to surprise me."
"I didn't think much ever surprised you, Elim," teased Julian
with a faint laugh. The tailor's lips curved in an affectionate smile.
"Well, dear Julian, you may rest content in the knowledge that
you do have the capacity to both surprise and delight me - and long may
that continue to be so," he concluded seriously. The tailor's blue eyes
stared soberly into Julian's. "Do you have any regrets about this?"
"None at all - I love you, Elim, and I'm not going to let
anyone's vindictiveness, least of all Gul Dukat's, stand in the way of
that again." The doctor's gaze was equally serious.
"Thank you for giving me a second chance," said Garak softly.
"Are you sure I deserve it?"
"Yes," insisted Julian forcefully. "If you didn't I wouldn't
be here." He caught hold of one of the tailor's hands in his own,
twining the capable, grey fingers with his, slender and golden skinned.
Tenderly he brought the joined hands to his lips, kissing them
lingeringly. Instinctively Garak bent his head, in his turn caressing
the entwined fingers with his own lips, as if sealing a pact. As he
looked up his cornflower eyes searched the doctor's.
"I know you asked me to put myself in your hands, but I want to
love you, Julian," he murmured tentatively. "You've given me so much...
I want to be inside you now. I can't help myself - the tianor..."
Glancing down Julian noted that Garak's sex was indeed still partially
erect and then realised with a shock that despite his tiredness his own
erection was growing once more. The tianor was most certainly having a
prodigious effect on both of them, apparently enhancing their stamina
as well as their pleasure.
"It would be a shame to waste such a nice erection," observed
Julian wistfully, reaching down to caress Garak with his free hand.
Untangling his other hand from the tailor's he reached out for the
discarded jar of lubricant. "May I?" he asked teasingly. Instead of
speaking Garak answered him by drawing him into a heartbreakingly
tender kiss that took Julian's breath away completely. All levity gone
the doctor surrendered to the Cardassian's persuasive seduction. He
couldn't remember Garak ever being quite so gentle with him before.
When the tailor finally ended the kiss Julian regarded him, wide eyed
with wonder.
"Ah, Julian, don't look so surprised," said Garak softly.
"Unless I'm much mistaken you made love to me the way you did earlier
to prove that you were capable of giving me what I had missed by not
having a Cardassian lover. Am I right?"
"Well, yes - but..." Garak held up a hand, forestalling Julian's
protests.
"My dear Julian, please don't think I didn't appreciate it - I
did, believe me." The tailor smiled indulgently. "Now I simply wish to
return the compliment. I want to show you that a Cardassian can be as
gentle as a human."
"I already know that, Elim." Julian favoured the tailor with a
lopsided smile. "You have nothing to prove to me."
"Perhaps I have something to prove to myself," observed Garak
wryly. He reached out and stroked Julian's dark curls with fingers
that trembled slightly. The doctor leaned into the caress, enjoying the
soothing touch. He looked down suddenly, remembering the jar of
lubricant still clutched in his hand.
"May I?" Julian repeated his earlier question, but this time
there was no hint of teasing in his voice. Wordlessly Garak nodded his
agreement. Deftly the young man coated the Cardassian's erection with
the cool gel, eliciting a series of low gasps and moans. He glanced up
at the tailor with an affectionate smile as he completed the task to
his satisfaction.
Carefully Garak rolled Julian onto his stomach, settling him
over the heaped up pillows. The doctor shifted his weight, squirming
around a little until he was comfortable, then glanced encouragingly
over his shoulder at the tailor. Garak sat still a moment longer simply
admiring Julian's lithe body stretched out before him. Then with gentle
hands he caressed his way down the doctor's back, starting from his
shoulders and slowly progressing to his invitingly rounded buttocks.
Julian made small sounds of contentment low in his throat. Encouraged
by the young man's reaction Garak repeated the procedure, massaging more
firmly this time. He was rewarded by an increasingly vocal response.
"Oh God, don't you dare stop," sighed Julian at length, "that
feels wonderful. I didn't know you had such talented hands." Garak gave
a throaty chuckle.
"I'm glad to learn that I can still surprise you too," he
observed sagely. The tailor continued his massaging of Julian's lean
body, feeling the muscles relaxing completely under the firm kneading of
his strong fingers. Judging his moment Garak leaned forward and began to
follow the path taken by his hands with a trail of gentle kisses. Julian
whimpered softly as the tailor's moist lips roved over his sensitised
skin. By the time Garak reached the smooth curves of the doctor's
buttocks the young man was pleading with the tailor to enter him. Garak
soothed him gently, sliding his fingers carefully into the doctor's
opening, preparing him. Then with infinite tenderness he gave Julian what
he had begged for, slipping easily into his inviting depths with his firm
erection. As the tailor's stomach brushed against the young man's pliant
backside he leaned down, covering Julian's body entirely with his own.
Where their coupling before had been passionate and wild this
time it was slow and tender. Garak moved gently inside Julian, the deep
stimulation bringing the young man only gradually towards his peak. The
doctor rotated his hips slowly, using his muscles to draw Garak with him
to the brink of orgasm.
The warm bulk of the Cardassian's body pressing down on him was
oddly reassuring. Julian wanted the moment to last forever, but he could
feel the pressure building inside himself and knew from the trembling of
Garak's limbs that he could also hold back no longer. With an exultant
cry the tailor came, emptying himself deep inside Julian. Garak's
release triggered the doctor's and he arched his back as the waves of
pleasure rippled through him. The tailor's arms cradled him tenderly,
one hand moving down to lovingly fondle his pulsing sex as it spilled
its creamy fluid.
As their tremors subsided Garak carefully withdrew, but his
arms retained their hold on Julian. He shifted until his weight no
longer pressed down on the doctor, then pulled him back to rest against
the sweaty expanse of his chest. Julian snuggled in closer, enjoying
the comfortable familiarity of Garak's embrace. The tailor in his turn
felt totally contented, breathing in the young man's delightfully
musky scent.
"Revenge is sweet," he murmured softly. Julian looked up at him
questioningly, a slight frown creasing his brow.
"I don't understand," he said slowly.
"Dukat thought he was taking vengeance on me by destroying our
relationship," explained Garak, "but he failed - and that is _our_
revenge on him." Julian looked down quickly, his silky lashes veiling
his velvet brown eyes.
"He almost succeeded," he whispered. Garak brushed his lips
against the doctor's cheek, kissing him reassuringly.
"We're here - we're together," said the tailor simply. "That's
what matters." Julian's smile returned and he nodded in agreement.
"Elim..."
"Yes, Julian."
"Exactly how long do the effects of tianor last?" asked Julian
thoughtfully.
"Well, in Cardassian's it can be quite variable," said Garak
matter of factly. He studied Julian narrowly. "I'm not sure if anyone
has ever measured its effect on humans before. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, just - professional curiosity," replied Julian innocently.
"Ah," said Garak knowledgeably, "so do you propose undertaking
a study on the subject?"
"I think that would be a very good idea," agreed Julian, his
eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Well, I believe you humans have a saying 'there's no time like
the present'," observed Garak, his lips curving in a broad smile.
"You know, Elim, I couldn't agree more," said Julian brightly,
as he reached for Garak's mouth with his own, stifling the Cardassian's
sudden laughter.
THE END
"The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination."
- Garak "Improbable Cause"