Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2004 10:25:33 -0800 (PST) From: Author James <authorjames2002@yahoo.com> Subject: The Shadow Chapter 18 I Don't Know You Any More Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I do not know the sexual orientation of any of the celebrities who will be appearing in the story. WARNING: The character does not have a happy life and will not have very many happy events in his life. If this kind of stuff bothers you, I do not recommend reading. Otherwise, enjoy. The Shadow created by Street and Smith, Walter B. Gibson. Copyright Advance Magazine Publishing Inc. Author's email address: authorjames2002@yahoo.com Chapter 18 I Don't Know You Anymore The Shadow changed into his cape, scarf and goggles and headed out on patrol. There was something Jacob sang that played over and over in his mind, `Impanema'. And seeing the paper with the word `Danu' added to his frustration. "There's something there. There has to be." "Excuse me," a familiar voice called out. The Shadow turned and saw a figure move in the darkness. Slowly, the youth reached for his gun but the voice continued. "I need your help." "What do you want?" the youth asked. The figure stepped out of the shadows and the Shadow's heart jumped into his throat causing him to nearly choke. `It's him,' he said to himself, `the one to whom I caused so much pain. Does he know? Does he know who I am?' The Shadow attempted to conceal his concern. Clearing his throat, he asked, "What can I help you with?" "I heard that you help others with problems they have. If someone is being tormented, you end the torment. I want you to end a torment for me. A few months ago, someone hurt me, violated me. He's been on the run and a mutual friend thinks he might be here in New York. Here's a picture of him." The Shadow's victim held up a picture the Shadow recognized as his own face. "What do you want done with him?" "He humiliated me, ruined my life. I haven't slept well since the night...since the night he...violated me." It was all the Shadow's victim could do to control the hurting and crying. "I lost my girlfriend over it. People...people have said that I'm a fucking queer now. I try to explain I don't like guys like that, but...after what he did...nothing makes them understand. "I want him to suffer physically as I've suffered mentally and emotionally. I want him to experience all the loneliness I've felt. And then, I want him to die. Can you do that?" The Shadow took a breath and then swallowed. He felt as if he deserved all those things. There wasn't anything anyone could do to make him feel otherwise. "I can." "Do you want any money for it?" "No," the Shadow replied shaking his head. "Just knowing I will serve justice for you is payment enough. Maybe after this is over, you'll be free of the torment you live in." "Do you want my telephone number so you can call and tell me when it's done?" "No. Just watch the newspapers. You'll know when it's done." "Smart thinking," the victim replied. "We don't want anyone linking us together. The police might use one of us to get the other." The victim placed his hand on the Shadow's shoulder. It felt like hot coals on the Shadow. "Thanks." With that, the victim left leaving the Shadow alone. The Shadow stood for a few minutes and then left. `No time to worry about fulfilling his request. Right now, there are more important things to take care of. I have to check out the name "Danu".' The Shadow then moved on ignoring the fact that he just plotted with the person he violated concerning his own death. But then again, we all know the Shadow believed he should be punished in some way for what he's done. If no one else was going to do it, he would spend his life doing it. Now, however, he knows what will bring peace to his victim, and that is all that matters to him. After the talk with Eric, part of him wanted to rejoin his life. He wanted to be friends with Rob and Greg again. He wanted Rob and Greg to forgive him. Knowing how Greg felt only made him long for Rob's forgiveness and friendship once again. The sensation came over him and her started singing. I would like to visit you for a while Get away and out of this city Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break We can go sit on your back porch Relax Talk about anything It don't matter I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've forgiven me Rob sat in the motel room and pulled out his picture of his best friend, the one he had been looking for. He looked at the face and thought of how it might have changed since his friend left. Because I don't know you anymore I don't recognize this place The picture frames have changed and so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from the pain But what I wouldn't give to see your face again The Shadow looked out at the city from his vantage point and the words continued to flow, as they did for Rob in his motel room. Springtime in the city Always such relief from the winter freeze The snow was more lonely than cold If you know what I mean Everyone's got an agenda, don't stop Keep that chin up, you'll be all right Can you believe what a year it's been Are you still the same? Has your opinion changed? 'Cause I don't know you anymore I don't recognize this place The picture frames have changed and so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from these sentences But what I wouldn't give to see your face again I know I let you down Again and again I know I never really treated you right I've paid the price I'm still paying for it every day So maybe I shouldn't have called Was it too soon to tell? Oh what the hell It doesn't really matter How do you redefine something that never really had a name? Has your opinion changed? Because I don't know you anymore I don't recognize this place The picture frames have changed and so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from the pain But what I wouldn't give to see your face again I see your face I see your face Rob wiped away the tears that fell. "I miss you. Why don't you come home? Everyone wants to see you again. Everyone asks about you. They pray that you would come home. Please, come home." The Shadow wiped away his own tears the formed in his eyes. He missed his friends and family very much. `But I don't deserve to be around them. After what I did...I just can't do it. They hate me and they think I'm going to hell. Why shouldn't I just disappear from their lives? Wouldn't it make life so much easier for them if I'm gone? `I don't think they would recognize me, either. I've changed so much; who I am, what I do, what I believe. I wouldn't fit in with them any more. I don't really fit in with anyone any more.' The youth climbed back down the ladder and returned to the gym. Jonesy had a computer so he decided to use that machine to access the Internet. After it booted up, the youth typed in the word "Danu" and did a search. The results numbered over 40000. The youth sat back and whistled. "How in the hell can there be so much information on this one obscure word?" The first few pages dealt with a band named Danu. Others were superficial pages, though they tied more closely with mystical elements than the music group. After searching for what seemed like forever, he hit the jackpot. Leaning forward, he drank in all the information the site provided. Rob looked at the door as Greg came in. "Where have you been?" Rob asked. "Out doing my own thing." "Does that include actually looking for..." "Don't lecture on him, okay? I don't even want to hear his name." "Then why are you here with me looking for him?" Greg looked away nervously. He didn't want to meet the eyes of the mutual friend of his rapist. He didn't want Rob to know what he'd done. But Rob could tell something was up with the way Greg averted his eyes. "Did you see him?" "No." "What did you do, Greg?" "I made sure I had justice." "Oh, God," Rob said standing up. "Look at you! You're so concerned about him and what he might do with his life! You don't care about what he did to me and my life! You don't care that he raped me! I want him to pay for what he did! He deserves to die for what he did to me!" "I don't condone what he did," Rob replied. "But he's also my friend. And I want to see him get whatever help he needs." "What about me, Rob? What about me getting help? What about me needing my friends to support me? Why don't I get that from you? You're so obsessed with him!" "You said you forgave him for what he did! You said you harbored no ill-will for him. Why change now?" "Because I have no one, Rob. After what he did, I switched schools because I didn't want to see his face in the hallway. I didn't want to see him with people that I knew, having a good time with my friends, too. Call me selfish, but I didn't want my friends to be friends with the guy who raped me." "I don't want to argue about this, Greg. I care about you and him. I want you both to be happy. Something tells me there is more to what was going on with him than just what he did. There's more to it." "Are you still running with that queer theory?" "That he might be gay? Yeah, I am. All that I've read matches with the way he acted. Maybe what he did was out of sexual frustration. He wasn't bearing any ill-will; it was his internal struggle with being gay and...religion." "You mean with God. He struggled with the fact he wanted to suck someone's cock and the fact that God doesn't like it." "With as close as he was to God, and especially after him dying, you would think he would have been made heterosexual if that was what God wanted." "I hate him," Greg said turning away. "He's turned you against me and against God. I don't know you any more." To Be Continued...