Date: Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:44:28 -0800 (PST) From: Author James <authorjames2002@yahoo.com> Subject: The Shadow Chapter 23 Last Breath Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I do not know the sexual orientation of any of the celebrities who will be appearing in the story. WARNING: The character does not have a happy life and will not have very many happy events in his life. If this kind of stuff bothers you, I do not recommend reading. Otherwise, enjoy. The Shadow created by Street and Smith, Walter B. Gibson. Copyright Advance Magazine Publishing Inc. Author's email address: authorjames2002@yahoo.com Chapter 23 Last Breath Rob busted down the door to the gymnasium he was told he would find his best friend. 'No, he can't be doing this,' Rob thought as he looked around the apartment. 'He can't die here, now, not after I searched so long to find him.' Rob looked around the gym, went into the office and back into the back where the youth had slept during his time in New York. When he couldn't find anyone, he headed back to the gymnasium. He noticed the door to the back was open so he headed out and found the youth huddled in a corner. "Oh, God, no," Rob gasped, and ran over to the youth. "Can you hear me? Can you see me?" Rob checked the youth's pulse and could tell it was slowing. "God, what did you do to yourself?" Looking around, he found an empty pill bottle. He picked it up and read the contents. "This will slow your heart down. 'Overdosing may cause paralysis, even death.' Why did you do this? Why?" Rob pulled the youth into his arms and held him. He squeezed him tightly and felt a presence enter his mind. It was the voice of the youth. He was communicating telepathically. "Hold on to me love You know I can't stay long All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms? Holding my last breath Safe inside myself Are all my thoughts of you Sweet raptured light It ends here tonight I'll miss the winter A world of fragile things Look for me in the white forest Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me) I know you hear me I can taste it in your tears Holding my last breath Safe inside myself Are all my thoughts of you Sweet raptured light It ends here tonight Closing your eyes to disappear You pray your dreams will leave you here But still you wake and know the truth No one's there Say goodnight Don't be afraid Calling me, calling me as you fade to black Holding my last breath Safe inside myself Are all my thoughts of you Sweet raptured light It ends here tonight" The voice faded out and Rob knew that he was gone. The person he had searched for had ended his own life. And Rob would never be able to get him back, ever. The tears flowed freely and Rob asked over and over, "Why? Why? Why?" Footsteps approaching caught his attention and he looked up to see a scarred, bald man approaching. "Is he?" Eric asked. Rob nodded. "How?" Rob picked up the empty pill bottle and tossed it to Eric. Eric examined the label and then knelt down beside Rob. "He was a good boy," Eric stated. "He could have done great things had he not let his mistakes rule his life." "What do you know about his life? How do you know what mistakes he made?" "I don't know specifically what mistakes he made. But I do know he was holding onto them. I have a gift at sensing that. He wouldn't allow himself to be free of what he did." "Why would someone want to feel horrible? Why would someone want to hate themselves?" "If someone were to feel that he or she did something wrong, yet no one does anything to punish them, they will punish their self, depending on the personality. In his mind, he felt he committed such a horrible crime that no one held him responsible for, yet he believed he should have been held responsible. As a result, he meted out his own punishment." "Why did he believe he deserved to live a life of nightly torture? I wanted to help him. I never gave him the indication that I hated him for what happened." "I don't think it was nightly torture. Every moment of his life, he denied himself love and comfort and affection from anyone and everyone. He wouldn't allow himself the simple pleasures in life, the things which most people take for granted. "Honor him. Also take a lesson from him. Life is too short to spend it all punishing yourself for mistakes you've made. There are some things that we can't take back, so we do the best to make amends. Even then, there are some things that can't be forgiven. The best we can do is to remember it, do our best not to do it again, and do our best to fix others who may do it." Rob nodded and went back to rocking his friend. "I never learned his name," Eric said as he knelt down by Rob and placed his hand on the young man's shoulder. Rob chuckled. "It's..." The End Author's Note: Hello, Reader. I'm sure you have mixed feelings about the ending of this story. You are probably angered and/or saddened by the character's death, his suicide. Though the main character committed suicide, I want everyone reading to know that suicide isn't the answer. This character is completely fictitious. The only resemblance he has to any real person is me. There is a part of him that is me. I, at one time, contemplated suicide because I wondered if that was the only way to be free of the problems I was going through. I reach out to you, if there is anyone considering ending your life, don't. There are so many who will be disheartened by that event. There is hope. Check your local phonebook for emergency hotlines. Call 9-1-1 and talk with someone there. You can get help. There is hope for you whatever you are going through. I implore you to seek out help. You owe it to yourself to get help. The main character in this story didn't allow his self to get help. Had he done so, he would have been okay. For your sake, and the sake of your friends and family, get help.